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S09.E05: Duggars Decorate & Diet


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Maybe this is the 'season of life' when you learn being a mother goes beyond bring the kids into the world.

 

Seriously, seeing her carry on like an empty-nester is disgusting.  Josie is four, but she might as well be grown up and out of the house - as far as Michelle's concerned she may as well not even be there.  Hey, Michelle, you have two kids the same age as the first "grandbaby."  Oh, wait...you don't pay any attention to Mackynzie, either.  When I was Mack's age, my grandparents were basically my favorite people in the world.  When they were visiting, you couldn't get me away from them for anything.  I'm sure I annoyed them endlessly, never giving them any time for adult conversation, but they put up with it.  Meanwhile, Josh's kids look at Michelle with indifference - and she returns it. 

 

"Mother of the Year" my ass.  She's good at making children, but that's about it.

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I guess Michelle is only interested in Jessas' future babies, not Jills'... who also lives nearby.  'I could hold the baby... no offer to help with laundry or housecleaning... the traditional grandmother help during the first few weeks of Motherhood'.

 

 

I wonder if its because she realizes that Jessa's not the most maternal unlike Jill and Anna, and it'll be easier for her to pretend its hers for the first six months. It also makes me wonder if that's why JimBob has Ben working for him. It works out pretty well for both JimBob and Michelle.  JimBob can have his fun making his son-in-law do what ever he wants and Michelle gets an endless stream of babies to hold and play with until their six months old and she can toss them to Jana. It works out well for Jessa who can finally have sex and not have to worry about taking care of any babies. The only people who it'll stink for is Jana and possibly Ben if he ever figures out he's completely under the control of JimBob. 

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I think Michelle just doesn't like Jill.

 

And I do have theories about why.  Could be that she's jealous because Jill is naturally great with kids, could be that she's jealous that JimBob loves her.  Could be that she's jealous that Jill seems to have actually found a man who can give her happiness and what she wants in life, or jealous of Jill's impressive fertility. 

 

But this is the one I stand by:  Michelle doesn't like Jill because Jill is the one kid she can't break. 

 

They tried so hard to keep Jill from having any interest in a life outside of being Michelle's live-in nanny.  She declared an interest in pursuing an "acceptable" career in nursing.  When they made her life too chaotic and busy to succeed in that career, instead of quitting and waiting for Prince Charming, she found another option, even more fundie-approved.  She studied when she could've been cleaning, she went to classes when she could've been mothering her siblings, she skipped dog and pony show gatherings to do her work, and with all the cameras on her and all the BS Michelle and JimBob built up about wanting their kids to have opportunities for the lives they chose, they couldn't do a fucking thing about it.

 

Especially since, on the surface, little Jilly Muffin is the perfect fundie daughter.  She spouts the party line, she does everything she's ordered to do with a smile, never steps a foot out of line, and still gets everything asked of her done.  She was never going to sneak out without a chaperone or say she was too tired to make dinner, and be told "well, that's it, you can't go back to school/work, it's driving you towards Satan!"  Sure, people would've believed that this silly little career notion didn't work out for, say, Jessa.  But meek, sweet, perfect Jill?  Nothing Michelle could do but grit her teeth and smile. 

 

Even though Jill is the least outwardly rebellious child, she's the one Michelle has had the least ability to control. 

 

Or maybe Michelle just wants to be around Jessa's husband because she has the hots for him. 

Edited by WTFFF
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Seriously, seeing her carry on like an empty-nester is disgusting.  Josie is four, but she might as well be grown up and out of the house - as far as Michelle's concerned she may as well not even be there.  Hey, Michelle, you have two kids the same age as the first "grandbaby."  Oh, wait...you don't pay any attention to Mackynzie, either.  When I was Mack's age, my grandparents were basically my favorite people in the world.  When they were visiting, you couldn't get me away from them for anything.  I'm sure I annoyed them endlessly, never giving them any time for adult conversation, but they put up with it.  Meanwhile, Josh's kids look at Michelle with indifference - and she returns it. 

 

"Mother of the Year" my ass.  She's good at making children, but that's about it.

Heck, as am empty nester myself, I think it's OTT even if she was truly in my "season of life". I loved every minute of raising my son (yes, I gave birth to all one of him! :p), even the not-so-fun ones. I miscarried my other three children in the late 1st and 2nd trimesters (must've been one hell of a sinner...barf), so I was acutely aware of how "precious" every memory was. Even so, I am loving the time with just my husband, and the flexibility this time offers. And now that my son is expecting his first (bringing our grandbabies to three, my stepson has two beautiful little girls), they have asked me to come to their next ultrasound. Not because they need a chaperone, but because they truly want to share that moment with me. And I will be there, with bells on. Even though she completely brought it on herself, as a mom  I do feel a teensy bit sorry for Michelle, that she threw such opportunities with her children away with both hands just because they weren't babies. I feel like if she is included in events with the vast majority of her children, it is because they "have" to. That would completely break my heart if I thought my son just had to put up with me.

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Michelle is jealous of any female because she has to be the center of attention 24/7. Jill is getting the attention now because she just got married and is having a baby. When Michelle got married and had Josh, she did not get the People cover, gifts from fans, and the major fuss over her wedding and first child. Plus the fact, Derick seems to be a must better catch than Jim Bob was. Jill, in some ways, reminds me of Michelle. She keeps taking away the attention from Jessa's announcement of her engagement and wedding in November. Will she show up and have the look at me, I am already married and pregnant with baby number one attitude.

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I think Michelle doesn't like Jill because she does everything right. She's Michelle without the "baggage" and the "mistakes." She's everything the Duggars claim they want, but Michelle really doesn't, because that would mean their children were better than she is, and that would cause a crisis in her disturbed mind.

Jessa now.....

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 'I could hold the baby... no offer to help with laundry or housecleaning... the traditional grandmother help during the first few weeks of Motherhood'.

 

Yea, SHE (Michelle) can hold the baby, whilst Jessa does the housework. That's half of why Michelle stayed knocked up and nursing for so many years, she thinks it gives her a pass on lifting a finger around her home. 

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I don't know, Jessa was excused from household chores while she was simply courting Bin, seeing him twice a month. I think one of the other slaves will get roped into more work.

Totally. Jessa admitted that before Bin moved to Chateau Firehazard she only saw him once or twice a month on weekends. So that leaves 20+ days where she did exactly what? Curled her hair? I bet Jessa will have Jana doing all her crap work as soon as she pops out her first blessing. 

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"Don't think about what you're eating...just pray" Words of wisdom from Anna.

 

I am declaring right now, Joy Anna is my favorite. Come live with me, Joy! Did you see her wield that drill when they were doing the stools? I see a "Fixin' Shit with Joy" TLC show in the future.

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Michelle, it's a little late to teach money skills to a 21 year old 3 months before the wedding.  " ' Normally, my nursing schedule would prevent me doing chores'.... darn, darn ,darn',  She has no excuse for not helping now.

Does Michelle Duggar have any idea that many watching her show each week have nursed a child before? Her "nursing schedule" -- really? Nursing does not take every waking moment. She's said many times now on TV and in the press that she nurses for the first six months and weans the baby; Josie is four now. Josie was unable to nurse due to her health issues, wasn't she?

 

She hasn't had a "nursing schedule" for almost four years now, and most likely closer to five. Perhaps the people in continuity at TLC might want to sit her down and help her get her stories straight. Hey, Michelle, you "don't do chores" because your DAUGHTERS have been doing them for years now, haven't they? Maybe you could step into the laundry room and relieve your mother-in-law due to all that free time you have now!

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Her nursing schedule didn't prevent her from going on a parade float. I'm very pro-breast feeding, but I wouldn't have taken a bottle feeding baby on the float either. Sometimes you just sit on the sidelines.

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I can't believe Michelle had the audacity to say her nursing schedule didn't her permit to do things around the house? How many babies was she nursing at a time here? One? What does she think other real mothers who nurse and don't have 4 live in housemaids?  I'll tell you, they carry on and do what they have to. I can't believe how entitled and lazy she is and yet she is praised for being so! How can her children not resent her somewhere underlying? I don't have much respect for her, really at all. She is one piece of work and needs to hear the truth about herself.

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I don't have much respect for her, really at all. She is one piece of work and needs to hear the truth about herself.

 

 

I honestly don't have any respect for her. Now if she had actually raised her nineteen kids while also doing the cooking, cleaning and homeschooling then I would have respect for her. But not only doesn't she do that, she has no problem telling the world that she makes her daughters do all of that. Or that her job is simply to nurse for six months and then be done. It bugs me to no end that no one ever calls her on it. 

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I wish I had known nursing absolved me from doing anything else.

 

Same here! I have 3 kids ages 3-6, I nursed all of them for at least 12 months. I also did all the chores, cooking, shopping....AND I homeschool! Real homeschooling, not just sticking kids in front of a severely restricted computer and hoping they learn something. Now if I had only known that I didn't have to do any of those things while nursing.....things would have been a lot easier for me! Although, I don't know who I would have roped into pulling the slack. My husband works a real job 40 hours a week, and my oldest kid at the time I was nursing was 4. And a boy! We all know boys can't cook or clean, heaven forbid. 

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I think Michelle just doesn't like Jill.

And I do have theories about why.  Could be that she's jealous because Jill is naturally great with kids, could be that she's jealous that JimBob loves her.  Could be that she's jealous that Jill seems to have actually found a man who can give her happiness and what she wants in life, or jealous of Jill's impressive fertility.

 

All of the above. Jill is Jim Bob's favorite. It's pretty clear. She's great with the kids. During the episode where the entire circus met Derick at the airport, I remember Jill taking one look at the shoes on one of the Lost Girl's feet and firmly saying, "NO MA'AM," and pushed her off to get proper shoes on her feet. Something that the child's MOTHER should have done. Michelle's "sullen child" prefers Jill to Mom, as do several other younger sibs. Jill spouts the party line, but she's honest about it. She's not a flaming fucking hypocrite like cheerleader, booty short, had a job at DQ, dated boys without a chaperone, Michelle.  There's no crazy behind the eyes when it comes to Jill. Plus, she found a man with a non-fundie education, who has his own job, not one scraped together by his father-in-law. Jim Bob and Michelle can't control Derick. Sure, he's along for the ride right now, but not with both feet, like the Seewalds, who sold their son for a spot on the Duggar fame train.  If Derick gets sick of the dog and pony show, he will take Jill and their family and go. Ben won't. He's under JB's control. And his future wife is a spoiled princess. Jill's a worker bee. I almost feel sorry for the dim bulb. 

 

And Jill and Derick are ratings gold. They're more genuine and interesting than Josh and Anna or Jessa and Bin, and a whole lot less smug.  

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The Geneva Convention prevents me from actually watching all this painful, ancient footage so we haven't actually been watching this season but did Michelle actually say that normally her nursing schedule would prevent her from chores or something similar? Um, Michelle - your youngest child is nearing 5 and you didn't nurse her. I think the word "normally" does not apply here.

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 I think she would be pissed because there goes all of her attention. All of the attention she gets comes from having 19 kids if her daughter or daughter-in-law surpassed her in that even by just one she's going to be so pissed and so jealous.

 

So did I. The way she was talking about grandbabies it sounded like she didn't even remember she already has grandbabies.

My first thought was her pretending her daughter's babies were hers. 

 

Yeah that would explain why they're marrying Jessa off to Ben while he's  living in the attic. They'll totally be able to pass off Ben and Jessa's kids as their own. 

Why Jessa? Well Jill's Derrick is more self-sufficient and Josh is obese. For all her supposedly godliness now; the former cheerleader still values looks above all else. 

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And Jill and Derick are ratings gold. They're more genuine and interesting than Josh and Anna or Jessa and Bin, and a whole lot less smug.

I agree - I actually genuinely like both Jill and Derick and think they're actually in love.

And in regards to Jinger's camera... I'm sure Canon gave those to them, plus the lenses. Advertising! (I do think Jinger is a good photographer. I thought the engagement pictures were quite good, if slightly pedestrian.)

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But why did she pose them in front of a fence, close to a busy road?

I find that interesting too. They own acres and acres of land. You'd think they wouldn't be lacking in scenic backdrops. I do think the pictures were well done, though.
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I think Michelle just doesn't like Jill.

And I do have theories about why. Could be that she's jealous because Jill is naturally great with kids, could be that she's jealous that JimBob loves her. Could be that she's jealous that Jill seems to have actually found a man who can give her happiness and what she wants in life, or jealous of Jill's impressive fertility.

But this is the one I stand by: Michelle doesn't like Jill because Jill is the one kid she can't break.

They tried so hard to keep Jill from having any interest in a life outside of being Michelle's live-in nanny. She declared an interest in pursuing an "acceptable" career in nursing. When they made her life too chaotic and busy to succeed in that career, instead of quitting and waiting for Prince Charming, she found another option, even more fundie-approved. She studied when she could've been cleaning, she went to classes when she could've been mothering her siblings, she skipped dog and pony show gatherings to do her work, and with all the cameras on her and all the BS Michelle and JimBob built up about wanting their kids to have opportunities for the lives they chose, they couldn't do a fucking thing about it.

Especially since, on the surface, little Jilly Muffin is the perfect fundie daughter. She spouts the party line, she does everything she's ordered to do with a smile, never steps a foot out of line, and still gets everything asked of her done. She was never going to sneak out without a chaperone or say she was too tired to make dinner, and be told "well, that's it, you can't go back to school/work, it's driving you towards Satan!" Sure, people would've believed that this silly little career notion didn't work out for, say, Jessa. But meek, sweet, perfect Jill? Nothing Michelle could do but grit her teeth and smile.

Even though Jill is the least outwardly rebellious child, she's the one Michelle has had the least ability to control.

Or maybe Michelle just wants to be around Jessa's husband because she has the hots for him.

I totally agree. I've always thought that Jill had the most determination and drive of all the kids, and I've been impressed by the freedom she's carved for herself via her midwifery. She's out and interacting with regular people, and she's still at home raising the kids (with a more realistic take on the real world than anyone else in the family) because she clearly actually enjoys it.

I know some others are sassier than she is, but they seem to spend all their energy in snark and don't have anything left for action. Jill, the quiet one, has gone out and done things.

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And Jill and Derick are ratings gold. They're more genuine and interesting than Josh and Anna or Jessa and Bin, and a whole lot less smug.

Jill and Derick compared to the Duggars are like Bill and Jen from the Little Couple compared to the Roloffs. In each case, you have the family that "paved the way", but when you look closer you see that underneath they're crazy, dysfunctional, and rather unlikable (both kids and parents). The newer editions (Jill/Derick and Jen/Bill) are so much more likable because they're genuine, educated, rational people. Probably wouldn't be in TV without those who came before, but also clearly would be just as happy if television never happened to them.

I could see a Jill/Derick spinoff doing well, but I hope it doesn't happen until they're at least a little more secure in their marriage.

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I agree that a Jill/Derick spin off would do relatively well. Having married a non-Gothard conservative, there are some ways in which Jill will have to go fundie lite -- and I think the public would be interested in what she chooses to change when raising her own kids. That being said I hope a spin off doesn't happen bc it's likely to be bad for their marriage and also for Jill's personal growth. Unlike most women, Jill wasn't a full grown adult when she got married. She is reasonably un/under-educated and also has no exposure to tv, music, politics, current events etc. beyond whatever her family told her. She needs to be able to learn this stuff from Derick and that'll never happen if the cameras are rolling as I don't see Derick as the kind of guy who will "correct" his wife and embarrass her when she says the earth is flat or whatever. Plus they courted long distance for a few months, got engaged, got married 3 months later having never had any time to talk alone. They need alone time to get to know the other person -- how do they handle times of stress like when their kid won't sleep; is one a better night owl than the other; does one get totally cranky when his wife is baby talking w the baby and ignoring him etc. If the cameras are rolling, all these interactions will be more "fake" and again they'll delay of the process of really knowing each other.

 

I honestly think the reason the Bill/Jen show works is not only were they both fully grown adults in their 30s before they married, but also because they both have solid professions and if they wanted to walk away from their show -- they could do it on a moment's notice. She's a neonatologist and he owns a reasonably sized business -- they don't NEED the TLC money. With Jill and Derick, sure Derick is an accountant, but he's right out of school and not THAT highly paid; as for Jill, regardless of what they say, I don't see her working for real -- maybe she'll dabble for a while longer in midwifery but I don't see her working 40 hrs a week. If they get a spin off, I can see money having some influence over this in the -- well the Lord blessed us with this and this really could allow us to save up for x, let's keep doing it as long as TLC renews the contract.

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Pictures in front of a fence are so much better than all the pictures taken in the house that have the messy laundry room or the bathroom with the open door and the toilet clearly visible in the background.

 

I just looked at a couple of the first episodes when Jill is about 13 and I have to say that her speech patterns are nearly identical to what they were then.

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Pictures in front of a fence are so much better than all the pictures taken in the house that have the messy laundry room or the bathroom with the open door and the toilet clearly visible in the background.

 

Yes.  Pictures in front of a fence are waaay better than an video of me on a toilet giving birth.

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Same here.  It's such bad form to nag people about having kids, regardless of the family relationship.  I listened to one of my siblings constantly nag and tease another sibling for years about when they were going to "finally have kids."  

 

I remember seeing a wedding card one time that completely cracked me up (at the time). It was obviously meant for couples who had been dating for a long time and it said "Congratulations on your wedding!" on the front and "So when are you going to have kids?" on the inside. It was funny until I knew people (myself included) who either couldn't have kids, didn't want to, or had them and regretted it. I thought it was funny originally because it was SO true and people were nagging me right and left about kids the second my husband and I got married. Now that I'm in my 40s they seem to finally be realizing "ohhh maybe it's not going to happen" but my poor sister in law is getting the same comments - plus "you better hurry!"  She wants kids, but now she's worried she's "too old" at just over 30. It makes me sad that people have to even stress over this stuff when it's such a personal choice.  What if one of the Duggar kids is infertile, or just doesn't want kids, or whatever?  It freaks me out to think how they might be treated.

Edited by NikSac
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Same here.  It's such bad form to nag people about having kids, regardless of the family relationship.  I listened to one of my siblings constantly nag and tease another sibling for years about when they were going to "finally have kids."

 

 

I completely agree. Its bad form and none of their business. The decision of if and when to have kids should be up to the couple. My brother and his wife waited nearly a decade before having kids and were constantly being asked when they were going to have kids, despite the fact they had said and continued to say once they finished college and have a few years in their respective fields before having kids. Another thing that bugs me is after the couple finally has a baby, what's the next question? When are you going to have another one. Then seem to be really upset if you tell them your not sure because you just had a baby because apparently you should have number two on a time schedule and the idea that you simply want to enjoy the baby you just had for awhile before deciding whether or not to have a second child is crazy. Or get really upset when a couple decides they only want one. Relatives, friends, and complete strangers telling them they should have another baby, my brother and his wife get this all the time no matter how many times they insist they only want one kid. Their either crazy not to want another one, or think eventually they'll change their minds. Apparently there's some rule book at least where I live where every couple must have two kids, and only two kids. If you dare to have three expect all kinds of rude comments from everyone. When a friend of mine told me she was pregnant a third time, I told her congratulations, and she looked shocked. She told me I was the first person to congratulate her. Family, friends and even strangers lectured her or thought she was crazy since she had two already. I felt really bad for her. I mean here she was excited and people were ruining it for her. Why people think they need to say anything I'll never know. 

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I'd rather be nagged about the baby I never plan to have then be nagged about still being single at 32. Where I live I may as well say I'm 50 and never been married, it's that unheard of. Drives me batshit! Stupid rural bumblefuck towns..

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Deciding to have a baby is one of the biggest, life-altering decisions you could make in my opinion. It it completely up to you and your significant other to decide if you want to have a child, and how many-and in what time frame! People nagging on others about it is nosy and rude.

It's even worse when it's your mother, as in Jessa's case with Michelle! She's not even married yet!

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It's so creepy how Michelle keeps going on and on about grand babies, I agree with what someone on another page said that it's almost like she is having to convince herself. I do want to give her a tiny fraction of credit in that it sounds like she has finally given up having children of her own, she's not tacking "if I have another" on every sentence like she has been since Jubilee. I wonder if she has officially started menopause since the topic was last addressed with that doctor for an episode (I kinda want to vomit in my mouth for speculating about someone's menopause... What has this show driven me to?)

I wonder how jealous Michelle is that Jill is pregnant within months of being married.

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J'Chelle has never cared about her grandbabies. She's jealous of anyone who has fertility. She cannot accept that her baby making days are over. She has 19 kids for goodness sake!  I cannot imagine the wrath of J'Chelle that would come if one of the girls was infertile. Maybe she'd be happy, because all of the attention could be on her. J'Chelle has definitely let fame go to her head. It's sad.

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I remember seeing a wedding card one time that completely cracked me up (at the time). It was obviously meant for couples who had been dating for a long time and it said "Congratulations on your wedding!" on the front and "So when are you going to have kids?" on the inside

 

I gave my close friend a card for her wedding that said (on the outside) "Aren't you glad all the questions of "when's the wedding?" are finally over?" and (on the inside) "So when are you going to have a baby?". She laughed and laughed and laughed, but it was kind of a joke (that she was in on) that her aspiration in life was to go to college, get her MRS (aka: find a husband), and have something between 3 and 5 kids, depending. She also wanted to have a garden, be a stay at home mom, and crochet her kid's clothes. She was a Duggar without all the weirdly strict Gothardly rules. But she and her husband were married 5 years before the had their first (and so far, only) baby. Being conservative and all that is possible without selling your soul to the Gothard devil. It might not make as good trainwreck TV, but it is possible.

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As someone who struggled to have kids for almost 10 years & only had them with serious medical intervention I can say stupid questions about when are more than stupid. They are relationally destructive. I eventually cut certain people out of my life due to their pointed questions, clueless comments or sheer stupidity. I wrote my (ex) MIL & SILs off after they crowded into that group. My relationship with my sister was damaged as well. If Michelle was my mom I imagine we would be completely out of contact. Of course if Michelle was my mom I'd probably be bonkers & eat frosting all day while singing about the rain & wearing a hat made out of Cheetos. Let them show that on TV!

Edited by ramble
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It really is mind boggling how intrusive people can be when it comes to a woman's fertility.

 

I find it funny that Michelle obsesses about grandbabies, not grandchildren. I understand "grandbabies" is a sort of catch-all term that refers to children of all ages, but in Michelle's case I think she means it literally. Listening to her lament over not having any more infants to take care of, I couldn't help but think, "doesn't this woman still have five elementary school aged children at home?"

 

She talks as though all of her kids are married and moved on, when in reality only two of them are. 

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Anna cooks 24 biscuits for two adults and 3 small children? 10 would have been plenty.

 

She may have been cooking for the camera crew as well.  The entire family seems to think of the crew as family and I would be surprised if they are not included in meal times. 

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It really is mind boggling how intrusive people can be when it comes to a woman's fertility.

 

I find it funny that Michelle obsesses about grandbabies, not grandchildren. I understand "grandbabies" is a sort of catch-all term that refers to children of all ages, but in Michelle's case I think she means it literally. Listening to her lament over not having any more infants to take care of, I couldn't help but think, "doesn't this woman still have five elementary school aged children at home?"

 

She talks as though all of her kids are married and moved on, when in reality only two of them are. 

You hit the nail on the head with this.  She could give a heck less about children- it's the BABIES she is obsessed with.  Once they pass that 6 month mark- they are "the littles".  The littles sounds like a freaking island of misfit toys or something.  She definitely has a problem and an obsession with babies- and a clear disregard for children and teenagers.  

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What if one of the Duggar kids is infertile, or just doesn't want kids, or whatever?  It freaks me out to think how they might be treated.

 

Every time I watch this show, I feel the same way.  I hate how the parents have such a firm hold on their kids' psyches even after they leave the nest.  Who says the kids have to have as many kids as God gives them?  JimBoob and his wackadoo wife insist that the kids make their own rules regarding what to wear and how to court, but that's clearly not the case.     

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Deciding to have a baby is one of the biggest, life-altering decisions you could make in my opinion. It it completely up to you and your significant other to decide if you want to have a child, and how many-and in what time frame! People nagging on others about it is nosy and rude.

It's even worse when it's your mother, as in Jessa's case with Michelle! She's not even married yet!

Amen! Because of my health problems, my husband & I have only one child & God blessed us with a great son. Luckily most of our family & friends never asked if or when we were going to have a second. But one of my past coworkers said that she would never have just one child - she would rather be childless! She was of the opinion that all "only" children are "spoiled" children. (not in my son's case) I don't want to start a discussion defending "only" children- just wanted to add that I agree it is rude to question others about having children or # of children. In my case, I don't think my co-worker realized her comment hurt me since I have an only child & I realized it was just her opinion. As others have said, what will J & M do if some of the kids don't follow the "be fruitful & multiply" Duggar rule?
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