Outlander Quotes: "Je Suis Prest"

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Claire: Angus can kiss my English ass!

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Randall: You don't have the look of a woman who would rouge her nipples.

[Bort]

I gotta do it:

"I must admit, the idea of grinding your corn does tickle me."

[nodorothyparker]

Thanks, Outlander.  My husband loves the "grinding your corn" quote so much he now won't stop saying it.  That surely won't get old.

[Nidratime]

"It would be pretty to think so" -- Randall  (And, frankly, that whole speech he gave about the beauty and artistry of the flogging. Ugh.)

 

"Being English is not a pretty thing." -- Jamie (I have to paraphrase, as I'm too lazy to look it up exactly.)

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Claire: Can I give you the blanket from my bed or would that be too scandalous?

[justmehere]

Still not tired of it:

 

Jamie: "You need not be scairt of me. Nor anyone else here, so long as I'm with ye."

[WaltersHair]

"Claire, it would make no difference to me. I love you so. Nothing you ever did could stop my loving you."

[Bort]

"Claire, it would make no difference to me. I love you so. Nothing you ever did could stop my loving you."

That line would be good, except for the fact that it followed: Hey I understand if you cheated on me (because I probably did anyway).

[WaltersHair]

That line would be good, except for the fact that it followed: Hey I understand if you cheated on me (because I probably did anyway).

 

Yeah, I know. But (so far) I really like Frank

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Or that now the unspoken follow up from Claire is "Nothing? Not even marrying another guy?"

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Angus: We were just coming by for a nice cup of tea.

Rupert: Dougal sent us up to see if you'd uh...[pelvic thrusts] ken?

Angus: Now who's the koof? They've still got their clothes on.

Rupert: You can still do it with your clothes on.

Angus: I know that, but not on your wedding night!

 

Claire: Well, it's getting rather late. Perhaps we should go to bed.

Jamie: To bed...or to sleep?

 

Ned: The bride isn't, uh...

Prostitute 1: A woman of loose morals?

Ned: Uh, yes. She's uh...She can't be wearing that on her wedding day.

Prostitute 2: Then maybe you shouldn't be shopping for a dress at a whorehouse.

 

Jamie: I said I was a virgin, not a monk.

 

Claire: Is there any more whiskey?

Jamie: Always.

 

Jamie: I'll do it, but I have three conditions.

Dougal: Christ, it would be easier if I kill you both.

[Petunia846]

Those last two especially made me laugh.

[ohhellsyeah]

How great where Angus and Rupert? I almost died. Of laughter.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Jamie: I'll thank you to take your hands off my wife.

[WatchrTina]

Murtagh - "I still say the only good weapon for a woman is poison." 
Dougal - "Perhaps but it has certain deficiencies in combat."

[mybabyaidan]

Jamie: Alright lads show's over.  You dinna need to stay up any longer.

Rupert: Aye, but let's hope you do!

Edited September 30, 2014 by mybabyaidan

[Rekilt]

"James Alexander Malcolm Mackenzie Fraser." -- Jamie

"Sigh" --me

[Tif]

Even though I'm not a fan o' Frank, I loved this.

“Disappointed. That’s an interesting word. That suggests expectations that were unmet. My expectations of your department were low to begin with, and I can assure you, you’ve met those expectations at every turn.”

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Ned: Truth or lies have very little to do with the law.

 

Angus: Court martial, reassignment. Can they not just hang the bastard?

 

Did you bring some potion to muzzle this idiot?

 

Sandringham: Damn that Randall. I must admit that shielding him from the consequences of his misdeeds sometimes feels like a full time occupation. And I loathe work.

 

Dougal: I said kiss her, dinna swallow her.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Ned: I see that we have dispensed with British law, which pleases me greatly, but I'm certain that you will not wish to dispense with our proud Scottish legal tradition. We are still in Scotland, are we not?

 

Jeannie: On many occasion I have heard Mrs. Duncan singing in the hall outside where Mr. Duncan was sleeping.

Judge: What kind of singing?

Jeannie: Ominous incantations, to be sure. It would send the catlings running from the house. Animals have a nose for these things, ya ken? They sense evil.

Ned: So now we are to take the testimony of a cat!

 

Geillis: Looks like I'm going to a fucking barbeque.

 

Judge: Sir, you have no place in the working of this court.

Jamie: I swore an oath before the altar of God to protect this woman and if you're telling me you consider your authority to be greater than that of the Almighty then I must inform you that I am not of that opinion myself.

 

Claire: Do you really believe me?

Jamie: Aye. I believe you, sassenach. Though it would have been a good deal easier if you'd only been a witch.

[Bort]

Claire: Is that what I think it is?

Geillis: It isn't a maypole, Claire.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Jenny: Do I have to do what I did when we were bairns? Grab you by the bollocks to make you stand still and listen to me?

Jamie: You're now trying to shame me in front of my own wife!

Jenny: Well, if she's your wife, I imagine she's more familiar with your balls than I am.

 

Jamie: I had no real idea, of course, but I thought being buggered would be less painful.

 

British Captain: A perfectly good shirt! How did that get stuck in the mill?

British Lieutenant: It's Scotland, sir.

 

Jamie: Jenny, would you turn around? I'm trying to get out before my cock snaps off!

 

Ian: [Jenny]'s a Fraser. Their hearts are as big and soft as their heads are thick and strong.

 

Claire: I am speaking and you can talk when I'm finished.

 

Claire: That's why you agreed to marry me? Because of my round ass and my rock solid head?

[WatchrTina]

Drunk Jamie: "The Laird of Broch Turach.  <slaps Claire's arse>  That's me!"

[chocolatetruffle]

Claire:  Hair of the dog?

Hungover!Jamie:  I think I may need the whole hound.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Claire: It's alright. It is possible to deliver a breech baby. I'm going to have to reach inside and guide it out.

Jenny: Alright, but you'll be fetching me a good stiff dram before we start.

Claire: In that case, the baby will likely be drunk too.

Jenny: Then he'll come into the world a true Scot.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Claire: Stop quoting the Bible. It doesn't suit you.

[WatchrTina]

Taran MacQuarrie:  “Is it the rope ye’re afraid of?”

Jamie Fraser:  “No. What grieves me is to think my wife will never forgive me for foolishly getting meself hung.”

Stannis Baratheon:  “Hanged.”

Edited May 17, 2015 by WatchrTina

[Hybiscus]

WatchrTina, thanks for making me laugh out loud! Outlander/GoT crossover!

[ElectricBoogaloo]

McQuarrie: To think my last view of the world will be a bunch of ill-formed pasty-faced Englishmen. My only regret is that I wasted my life as a common thief rather than a patriot serving my country fighting against you lot. To the devil with England and God bless King-

 

Black Jack Randall: You couldn't keep out of prison long enough to hear if your pardon had been granted or not.

 

Claire: I should have slit your throat when you were laying unconscious at Fort William.

BJR: Yes, I'm afraid you will come to regret that small act of humanity.

 

BJR: How dare you interrupt me while I'm conducting an interrogation?

Redcoat: Begging your pardon, captain, but we have reason to believe that earlier today that woman there was involved in an escape attempt.

BJR: Well now you've found her. Congratulations.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

[Murtagh refuses an offer of alcohol]

Angus: Hey, go on. Staying sober is not going to heal Jamie any faster.

[WatchrTina]

Rupert (driving the get-away wagon in the season finale): "Pardon the interruption but will ye be wanting tea or can get this wagon moving?"

 

Claire:  "What did Randall do to you?"

Jamie:  "Too much.  And not enough."

Edited May 31, 2015 by WatchrTina

[GHScorpiosRule]

Just because I recently rewatched it and now, for some reason, it's rrrruning through me head in a loop:

 

Jamie: I'm Laird of this estate and I wull not discuss the rrrrrrunning of it with my sisterrrrrrrrrr!"

 

Jenny: "Beggin yer pardon LAIRD Broch Tuarach."

Edited August 25, 2015 by GHScorpiosRule

[Nidratime]

Spoilers for the books you haven't read yet.

 

See the most popular passages from every single Outlander book, according to Kindle

http://www.ew.com/article/2015/09/02/outlander-kindle-highlights

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Murtagh: It seems to me you don't trust me to know the true reason behind this cloth of lies we're about to wrap ourselves in. Like a plaid woven out of guile and deception.

Claire: We told you the reason - to stop the Jacobite uprising.

Murtagh: That is the purpose of the lie. It's not the reason.

 

Jamie: She's a sturdy woman.

Claire: Sturdy? Why, Jamie, you do flatter me so.

 

Jamie: I know nothing of the wine business, beyond drinking, of course.

 

St. Germain: English. I should have known. Only an English woman would be so ill-bred and vulgar.

[lottiedottie]

My favorite: Jamie to Claire: "I wouldn't change ye to save the world" and then he kisses her.

[BigBeagle]

Jamie, on first seeing Claire in her wedding dress:

 

"It was if I stepped outside on a cloudy day, and suddenly, the sun came out."

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Suzette: I noticed madame has folded her clothes again this morning.

Claire: Yes, Suzette.

Suzette: Why does madame insist on making her own bed and folding her own clothes?

Claire: I suppose it's habit. I'm just not used to having servants around me all the time attending to my every need.

Suzette: But a woman of your distinction and with child, no less. It is just not done.

Claire: Fine, I will endeavour to be sloppier in my personal habits.

 

Murtagh: It's the air. Asses and armpits! There's too many people.

Jamie: Scotland doesn't exactly smell like a lady's boudoir.

 

Claire: You're friends with the Comte de Saint Germain?

Master Raymond: Au contraire. We are rivals, a pleasant term for enemies, is it not?

 

Madame: What they need are dildos!

Charles: This is why I admire the French. They're so wonderfully vulgar. They never allow their exquisite manners to interfere with their baser instincts.

 

Murtagh: Not too late to slit [Charles's] throat.

 

Murtagh: The man is a blockhead and a dangerous one at that. He'll get us all killed if we don't stop him.
Jamie: I wouldn't trust the prince with Lollybroch's vegetable patch let alone the fate of Scotland.

 

Louise: Stop clutching yourself as if you were on display in a slave market.

Mary: But I'm as good as naked.

Louise: Ignorant child, must I drop my robe and show you what naked means?

Mary: Please don't.

 

Jamie: Claire, what have you done to yourself? Your honeypot is bare.

 

Jamie: You're going to need a larger fan.

 

Murgagh: Only in France does a king need an audience to shit. If you're lucky, you'll be given the honor of wiping the royal ass.

 

Courtier #1: Perhaps if His Majesty would only relax?

Courtier #2: Or concentrate. Bear down and prove himself a master of his bowels.

 

If you must cough on someone, find a servant.

Edited April 17, 2016 by ElectricBoogaloo

[WatchrTina]

Murtagh:  Would you look at me.  Out of breath already after hardly an hour.  It's the air  Arses and armpits.  Too many people.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Mary: Men don't do things like where I come from.

Louise: And where is that? The moon?

Mary: Seaford in Sussex.

 

Murtagh: Now if you don't mind, I have some business with your maid to finish.

 

Jamie: What is politics but chess on a grand scale?

 

Duverney: If you desire my help, it would not be a bad idea to lose a game once in a while.

Jamie: I respect you too much to allow such a cheap victory.

Duverney: I give you permission to respect me less.

 

Duverney: As minister, I cannot speak officially to the emissary of a monarch not recognized by the king.

 

Claire: So you're a canny businessman and a humanitarian.

 

Raymond: Who is the contraceptive for, if I may ask?

Claire: My lady's maid.

Raymond: It is usually the other way around. The maid buys a preventative for her lady so the lady can maintain the pretense of fidelity.

 

Claire: Jamie, I had the most wonderful day! I lanced two boils, changed filthy dressings, and saw my first case of full blown scrofula.

Murtagh: The carriage ride home was full of delightful tales of blood and pus and gangrenous toenails.

 

Claire: When she saw me taste the urine, the tide began to turn.

 

Jamie: How will lancing boils and tasting urine help us to save Scotland?

 

Fergus: You have beautiful breasts, madame.

Murtagh: He just said the same thing to Suzette.

Claire: That doesn't make me feel very special.

 

Jamie: He's a pick pocket. His name's Fergus. Actually it's Claude but we decided that wasn't very manly.

Claire: So you invited him into our house?

Jamie: I hired him from Maison Elise.

Claire: Hired him? Because every fine house needs a pick pocket, I suppose.

 

Claire: The key is the key!

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Claire: Perhaps your husband can be persuaded that the child is his.
Louise: You mean sleep with my husband? But my lover would be furious!
Claire: Well, he's not the one that's pregnant, Louise.

Claire: Does this make us bad people?
Jamie: The way I see it, we're doing a bad thing for a good reason.
Claire: Isn't that what all bad people say?

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Jamie: I may have once mentioned that I was married to La Dame Blanche.
Claire: You did what?
Jamie: At Maison Elise. Charles was pushing yet more trollops into my lap. I wanted to stay true to you but not appear unmanly.
Claire: And so calling your wife a witch was your best idea? After everything that happened at Cranesmule?
Jamie: There may have been a fair amount of alcohol involved.

Charles: Do not plague me with workmen's concerns.

[WatchrTina]

Sandor 'The Hound' Clegane, in Game of Thrones:  "Fuck the king."

Claire Elisabeth Beauchamp Randall Fraser in Outlander:  "Fuck the king."

Great minds think alike.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Murtagh: You need to concentrate. I'll fetch the broadswords.

Jamie: It's complicated.
Murtagh: I ken I'm a simple man but strive for an explanation.

Murtagh: Or we could slit the Italian fuck's throat and be done with it!

Claire: Rose madder. With luck, the combination will cause severe stomach pains and vomiting.
Murtagh: You're in for a pleasant evening.

Jamie: If anyone can deliver pestilence and disease, it's us.

Jamie: Hungry?
Fergus: Always.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Claire: I closed my eyes and thought of England.

Claire: There's something else. I slept with the king.

[Keeta]

Charles Stuart: Mark me. I will take my own life if I am forced to live in God-forsaken Poland.

Edited May 23, 2016 by Keeta

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Mrs. Crook: I dinna see how you'd ever grind [potatoes] for porridge.
Jamie: You don't grind them, Mrs. Crook.
Mrs. Crook: What do you do with them then?
Fergus: You boil them, eat them with salt. Butter is good too.
Claire: Or roast them. We can mash them with milk.
Jamie: I didna ken you could cook, sassenach.
Claire: I'm not sure I can cook, but I can certainly boil a potato.

Murtagh: I cannot believe I've become a farmer.

Jenny: If you don't come back, brother, I'll never forgive you.
Jamie: Never is a very long time.

Colum: So the French have not yet committed to Prince Charles?
Lovat: Always an unreliable ally, the French.

Maisri: They say you are a white lady.
Claire: Yes, they do say that.

Claire: Before we go, there's something that I need you to do for me. Say thank you to Laoghaire.
Jamie: Thank you? For what? Not trying to have you arrested in the last few days?

Lovat: Turning that one into a soldier will be a greater feat than beating the British.

Jamie: Please tell me I'm nothing like [Lovat], sassenach.
Claire: I'm afraid I have seen a similarly devious turn of mind.
Jamie: I might have to rethink our agreement not to lie to one another.

Edited May 28, 2016 by ElectricBoogaloo

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Murtagh: Pardon me if I forego the wee jig that I had planned in honor of your arrival.

Murtagh: I dinna think you could talk that old bastard [Lovat] out of a loaf of bread, let alone men.

Jamie: Lord Lovat remains neutral.
Murtagh: That's the weasel I ken well.

Fergus: Milady! Milord!
Jamie: Fergus, laddie, you look fit. Murtagh's been looking after you well then
Fergus: No no no no! He forced me to mend his socks and to fetch his meals!

Angus: Mistress Claire, I washed my mouth out with whiskey in preparation for a big buss from you!

Claire: Just the three of you?
Dougal: You didna question the lads' strength in numbers when they stormed Wentworth Prison in the very teeth of over 200 redcoats.
Angus: It was 400 actually.
Rupert: More likely five.

Jamie: They dinna march. They walk, they stroll, they caper about, but they dinna march.

Claire: I'm not sure you'll grasp the meaning of this either, but I'll try my damndest - fuck yourself.
Dougal: Alright then.

Rupert: You got something growing between your toes there.
Angus: Just everyday stuff.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Murtagh: Put that blade down or I'll ram it up your ass til you taste it.

Dougal: And now I'm off to change my breeks because the hero of the hour shat his pants.

Angus: You can have my sword. And my sporran - and all that it contains, eh?
Rupert: What are you havering about now?
Angus: Were you not listening to those two? What's his is his. What's mine is yours.
Rupert: What use would I have for a sword that's never been used?
Angus: You think I need a fat man's blade dangling from my hip? It occurs to me I'll be leaving Scarlet to you as well.
Rupert: Scarlet the whore?
Angus: Part time whore, full time barmaid.
Rupert: She's not yours to give, you daft bastard!
Angus: Well, I'm saying she is. And it's you I'll be giving her to.
[Angus spits on his hand and extends it to Rupert]
Angus: Do you accept?
Rupert: I do not.

Claire: Angus, surely there's another woman you can have kiss you goodbye.
Rupert: None that'll have him.
Angus: Must I remind you, mistress, this time tomorrow I could be laying in a field bleeding to death. I would hate for my last thought to be how you denied me my final request.
Claire: You are shameless.

Dougal: You champion me and you exile me both at the same time. That's a plan worthy of my brother Colin.

[areca]

5 hours ago, ElectricBoogaloo said:

Dougal: You champion me and you exile me both at the same time. That's a plan worthy of my brother Colin.

Colum.

Edited June 11, 2016 by areca