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S01.E07: Episode 7


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At the end credits, didn't they show Cody lifting up Michelle's daughter Brielle, in his arms, above the surf?  Obviously she was flown down there for the end of the show, or had been there for a while.   Very interesting. 

 

Des looked really cute in her ruffled top & sarong skirt.  She & Chris look pretty happy together.  

Edited by leighdear
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I always kind of felt like Robert's and Graham's disinterested hanging-on-ness was based on wanting to be around for the end game. No one seemed to know what was waiting at the finish line, so maybe the plan was to just stick around in case it was something fabulous. (like a neeewww caaaaaaar!) As long as nothing better came along, it was give a rose, accept a rose.

Yes.  I tried to put myself in their shoes.  If the way you "win" is by staying on the show, you do what it takes, including pretending to be into a girl who will always give you a rose  But there was no payoff at the end, no prize for staying to the final episode.  Maybe if the participants knew the only prize was a relationship, they would have been more honest and left when they saw there was no one they could connect with.

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I guess there sort of was a prize, since I doubt Marcus paid for that gigantic diamond. But obviously not everyone would appreciate the human that comes with it, so the show was indeed about love. I saw some interview with CH where he said that they quit doing Bachelor Pad because they didn't like money being the incentive, since that's not what this franchise is about, so I can see why they'd view BiP a success.

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I always kind of felt like Robert's and Graham's disinterested hanging-on-ness was based on wanting to be around for the end game. No one seemed to know what was waiting at the finish line, so maybe the plan was to just stick around in case it was something fabulous. (like a neeewww caaaaaaar!) As long as nothing better came along, it was give a rose, accept a rose. I think Graham was interested in playing the field/game on the first episode, but we know how that worked out. Loved how it seemed he was trying so hard to look devastated on the way out. mmv.

 

As for the phone call home for dating advice from a 9-year old, just all kinds of ick. And she did sound VERY mature for nine. 

 

If the editors can embrace the camp (and bring back Dr. Raccoon and some of his colleagues), then I'm in next time. Too boring just watching people whine, even on a beach, to watch again. Bring in something to shake things up - suggestion earlier to allow the newcomers to pick anyone, without knowing who is already coupled up, would be a start. Shoot, even a beach volleyball game would have been helpful.

 

 

Yes, a tweak in format is needed next season.  The newcomer is not allowed to see who is coupled and chooses one and that date is mandatory,  It is a quick 30 minute date on the beach to talk.  The one chosen can choose a longer date with that person or refuse.    And hopefully they all get pep talks from production to not couple up immediately.  Go on dates and wait until later in the show have a favorite. 

 

Michelle's daughter came with her and was coached on what to say on the phone.  A 9 year old is not going to come up with that on her own.  That said, I am sure that rang true with her and something she does want for her mom.   Every kid wants their single parent to be treated well.  

 

I agree that Robert and Graham wanted to stay until the end.  And production may have asked them too.  I can see that happening, easily! 

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So Chris Harrison tells the couples about the "final twist". Which is basically, if you've had enough of paradise you can go home now. Or you have the option of - going home tomorrow! (After, of course getting advice on love from other Bach couples).

Michelle and Cody are gross. She's sore and he "did something on his bucket list". I didn't need to know that.

Edited by backformore
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Lacy looks so much better without a ton of makeup glopped on like a circus troupe member. When she wears some weird, busy fashion choices with that makeup and gaudy jewelry, she reminds me of an elderly aunt or grandma type. At other times, a cheap street walker.

 

Oh yeah, I've been saying for weeks that Lacey is straight out of 1985. Between the big hair, big makeup, blue eyeshadow. Last week she had that side pony with a pretty big floral print dress (which I'm sure she cut the shoulder pads out of to make it somewhat current). This week the big gold gaudy earrings. When she changed to the date black tank top, she transformed into Jazzercise Barbie.

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AshLee (geez, even my autocorrect tries to get rid of that capital L in the middle) posted this picture. Is that Daniella in front of Zak? And who is the guy on the far left end behind AshLee? 

 

Shame Michelle and Graham never worked out, they are both beautiful kids and would have a 30/20 chance of having beautiful Money-Graham-Bunn Babies. I'm one that thinks Graham is hot and really seems like a nice guy. I used to think he wasn't on Deeanna's season because he acted so withdrawn, but that was probably because he didn't really like her.

 

Graham thanked Sarah for her friendship. Come on guys, let's try that as a relationship too!

Edited by ShaNaeNae
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I dropped off posting about this on-going train-wreck because, why bother.  It's just such a bunch of . . . nothing.  

 

I was at least hoping (and I'm sure the contestants were too) that there was going to be some sort of surprise "prize" at the end.  

 

But . . . nothing.

 

I think Kristen at ew.com said it best:

 

Their challenge, should they choose to accept it: Talk about whether or not they want to keep their relationship going outside of Paradise, or do they just want to pretend that they want to keep their relationship going outside of Paradise so they can milk a few more days of free vacation out of Team BiP?

 

I mean, what were the stakes?  And did any of this famewhores really think we believed that "staying to the end" meant they were getting married?  Even the guy who "proposed" to Lacy will come to his senses as soon as the rum wears off and he realizes that the silicone in her body actually has a higher IQ than she does.

 

And Michelle is the ultimate famewhore.  I don't believe there was a word that came out of her mouth that wasn't scripted or directed by TPTB to further what passes for "drama" on this show.

 

One minute she's feigning concern about "being a mom" and "having a daugther" to think about.  And the next she's broadcasting to the world that she got her pussy busted up in the Fantasy Suite.  There isn't enough brain bleach.

 

And, I hate to say it, but Cody still really pings my gaydar.  So that comment by Michelle about their night together just struck me as over-the-top bearding for the guy.

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At the end credits, didn't they show Cody lifting up Michelle's daughter Brielle, in his arms, above the surf?  Obviously she was flown down there for the end of the show, or had been there for a while.   Very interesting. 

 

 

 

Michelle put a longer clip of Brielle & Cody in the surf up on her facebook page last night and yes, it was at Casa BiP.   I guess Brielle was flown down to Mexico at the end of the taping to be reunited with Michelle and at that point she wanted the two to meet.   FWIW, they seem pretty happy 2 months post show but who knows if they can last long term. 

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I agree that the best part were the little updates and bloopers.

 

I love how Jason and Molly rag on the franchise in their podcast yet never fail to bow at its feet in the drop of a hat. Famewhores.

 

Ugh @ Sean/Catherine. They are so annoying.

 

Des/Chris seem very happy and are adorable. I am mad ABC doesn't want to televise their wedding. They are both super sweet, nice people and the least they deserve is to get that ABC wedding and money.

 

Michelle/Cody are surprisingly cute. Not that I think they'll last but I wish them the best.

 

Lacy/Marcus are so dull. Pretty, but dull.

 

In the closing credits, Kalon had on a t-shirt that said "I Heart Juan Pablo" on the front.....Brilliant!

Yes! And he was saying "Eees okay". He may be a total dickhead, but he is kind of amusing.

 

The show should hire Kalon to do live commentary. He is hilarious.

Edited by FireFoxy
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Am I alone in finding Marcus really creepy?  He seems like the type to fall stalkerishly in love with every single girl he dates.  He is way too intense way too soon.  That's going to get old.

 

Lacey always looks like she needs about a month of rest and several cheeseburgers.

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I remember once on the Jimmy Kimmel show, he described the Bach/ette show as one where you decide which one of 25 people you choose to pretend to be engaged to for 6 months.   I think he nailed the whole franchise with that line.

I agree.  I watched 2 seasons long ago and decided it was too stupid.  Then popped back in for this, hoping it'd be like Love in the Wild.  I mostly FFed through the 2-hour finale, just to see who won what.  Nothing?  No prize?  Oh, I feel stupid.  You won't see me next summer, Chris Harrison, or ever.  

 

These shows could be renamed "So You Think You Can Famewhore".  Or "Watch Beautiful People Makes Asses of Themselves for Camera Time".  

 

I thought all the women had unpleasant voices which probably killed their chances at actual acting careers.  

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Am I alone in finding Marcus really creepy?  He seems like the type to fall stalkerishly in love with every single girl he dates.  He is way too intense way too soon.  That's going to get old.

 

Nope. I see it too.

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What I find so stupid is that, OBVIOUSLY Chris knew that Marcus was going to propose to Lacy because it's not like he brought that ring with him in his luggage from the US? And obviously Marcus assumed he would have some "private" (just the cameras) moment to propose in, not in front of six random people he's never met who also happened to have "fallen in love" on television?

Also, can we just feel bad for Sarah that the "hottest guy in the house" was apparently dating her despite being turned off by her disability, rather than because he was not turned off by it?

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I love how Jason and Molly rag on the franchise in their podcast yet never fail to bow at its feet in the drop of a hat. Famewhores.

 

Indeed. And Jason looks like such a troll. I never watched his season and I'm glad, because I can't for the life of me understand why any women would compete for someone so utterly sleazy looking. He made Sean and Chris look hot and I've never been attracted to either of them.

 

I also think Des and Chris deserve a TV wedding. All the other couples got theirs televised, so it just seems like a slap in the face, especially if they televise Andi's. Des looked really cute and happy.

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The main takeaway from this finale for me is that Dr. Phil better thank his lucky stars that he found favor with the Oprah when he did.  Because in 2014, celebrity relationship counseling can apparently be left up to a raccoon, a sea turtle, and a 9 year old girl.

 

The more I think about it, the more likely it seems that Robert just wasn't into Sarah.  I mean, who wears jeans on the Mexican coast in the summer?  They've all been wearing short trousers (or less) since Day 1, and now Robert exits the hot tub and thinks it's a fine time to break out the 501's?  "Let's see Sarah undo a button-fly with one hand", he must have been thinking.

 

Still, Sarah was totally okay with it until the other two couples shared their hyperfornication experiences.  I think even if Robert had "gone deep", she would have been upset that they didn't christen all four corners of the FS like Coney allegedly did.

 

I suspect Robert was willing to ride it out until the final rose ceremony, then let their breakup be a one-liner in the closing credits.

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Still, Sarah was totally okay with it until the other two couples shared their hyperfornication experiences.  I think even if Robert had "gone deep", she would have been upset that they didn't christen all four corners of the FS like Coney allegedly did.

I was howling over that gone deep comment!  And the conversation the next day of hickeys and cheesecake..wth?  Honestly I felt bad for Sarah (she's been my fav. "character" on this show).  For a guy to choose to sleep in his jeans, which I must say isn't comfortable, he might as well have held up a sign saying don't touch me.  Why not the ole reliable sleep in your undies?  That way you can still snuggle and be somewhat intimate without having sex if that's what he was uncomfortable about.

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What I find so stupid is that, OBVIOUSLY Chris knew that Marcus was going to propose to Lacy because it's not like he brought that ring with him in his luggage from the US?

 

Chris did admit on his EW blog today that he was aware of the proposal.  He told the three returning 'judge teams' what was about to happen, which is when they went to the rail.

 

My only disappointment for that scenario was that Cody and Michelle were sent off down the beach and didn't get to participate in the celebration,  Would have been nice to include them, too.

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Yes! And he was saying "Eees okay". He may be a total dickhead, but he is kind of amusing.

 

 

When he was on the Bacholette I totaly thought he was an a-hole for his "baggage" comment, but now I am wondering if he wasn't a producer plant to provide drama (for BIP as well but no one was going for it).  He wasn't exactly heartbroken when he went home either time.  He really is pretty funny if you don't take him seriously. 

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I was actually pretty surprised at how well AshLee took getting dumped! I have to admit I was also kind of disappointed... I was expecting a full-scale freak out!

Maybe she was preoccupied running through scenarios of how she should look and act on camera in the moment. It has been made known that she plays to the cameras. She has come across as a bit sedate at times (like not reacting when Graham exited a ceremony as she was about to call him up for her rose), picking at her hangnails and such.

Did anyone else think the girl on the phone sounded mature for a nine-year-old? On the Bachelorette we had Nick's ten-year-old sister looking blankly at Andi as she was talking about "emotional connections", and here a nine-year-old is supposedly giving her mother sage relationship advice?

I was reading this thread during the show and didn't catch who Michelle was on the phone with...sounded like an older woman and I wasn't really tuned in to what advice the person was giving...and then I read it was her 9-year-old daughter! ha. Consider the mothers of Brielle and Nick's sister--no wonder one seems mature beyond her years and the other an age-appropriate child. Nick's mom isn't out bragging about how much sex she's having, to have 11 kids, whereas MM is broadcasting the blow by blow account of her night of rapture with Cody. 

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On the crushingly stupid Bachelor In Paradise finale, people break up for dumb reasons and stay together for even dumber reasons.

http://previously.tv/bachelor-in-paradise/oh-think-twice-its-everyones-last-day-in-paradise/"> Read the story

Bless you and your nevernude loving heart. The way you cleared up that mystery of Robert's jeans in bed was the payoff for the time I spent watching this show. I knew there was a silver lining in there somewhere.

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Chris did admit on his EW blog today that he was aware of the proposal.  He told the three returning 'judge teams' what was about to happen, which is when they went to the rail.

 

My only disappointment for that scenario was that Cody and Michelle were sent off down the beach and didn't get to participate in the celebration,  Would have been nice to include them, too.

I may be giving Lacy too much credit, but surely she knew there was a proposal coming when Marcus led her to a random platform with the requisite assorted urns and potted plants that hadn't been there during their entire stay. For her to even entertain the notion that he was NOT going to give her his final rose is utterly ludicrous. 

I thought Marcus and Cody were buddies on Andi's season, and I agree it would've been nice for them to be included in the proposal celebration either way.

 

I want more bloopers/outtakes included in all TB incarnations, those are golden!

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Graham has effectively said on Instagram that Michelle may be his friend, but his decision to break up was his and his alone.

 

So he didn't really delete his Instagram accont, like they claimed in the end credits? Or can you reopen one after it's deleted?

 

I never got why Graham, the producers, or people on this board for that matter, made such a big deal about AshLee's comment that she followed him. Like it's so unheard of to follow someone you barely know on Instagram.

 

I did feel for AshLee when Graham dumped her. I don't know, but I sort of get the feeling that her personality is rooted in some deeper issues. What I'm trying to say is, maybe she should be pitied rather than condemned for trying to put on a show and acting all "perfect".

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Bless you and your nevernude loving heart. The way you cleared up that mystery of Robert's jeans in bed was the payoff for the time I spent watching this show. I knew there was a silver lining in there somewhere.

 

Oh, I'm so glad I could be of service! There had to be SOME explanation, right? 

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I can't believe I missed the bloopers. I cut and run after that nauseating marriage proposal and apparently missed the best part! Guess I'll have to find it On Demand tonight.

 

I am so confused by Jeansgate. The only conclusion I can come to is that Robert just didn't want to admit to Sarah (or possibly himself) - either alone or in front of the cameras - that he just wasn't that into her. But if he was looking for an excuse to get out of that relationship, why didn't he just take it when he had the chance? Why go as far as the fantasy suite and then put your entire self on lockdown? And then he acts all sad and tearful when she ends it? I'm not a Sarah fan, but I felt truly bad for her.

Edited by violetr
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I guess I'm a Sarah apologist.  But I think if Robert just wasn't into her (and wasn't into "getting deep into her"(tm Sarah)), he probably should have just told her that rather than putting on his button-fly-chastity-jeans and pretending to be tired.  

 

Let's be frank.  No matter what I think of any of these contestants as people, I think all of them are, objectively, quite fuck-able.  I'd also wager that most of them are more than happy with no-strings-attached flings while on a paid vacation.  

 

And, if anything, doing "fiancé stuff" in this "fantasy suite" is less skeezy than on TB, because it's not like you're "proposing" to someone else in a few days.

 

I really don't understand what was up with Robert (even if I have a pretty good idea what wasn't up).

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I thought Ashlee seemed very fake talking about Graham, and all of a sudden reining in the "we're in love forever" talk. I agreed with Michelle that she tries too hard to say what she thinks will work.

 

To me, Graham owes Michelle some PR thanks. To me, he comes across even duller than Zack and Marcus (that's setting the bar pretty low). But with the way she kept talking about him, even though he didn't say or do much of anything, ever, she got me to think he was some kind of wonderful guy. She did the same, and in a different way (and with TMI) for Cody. When they break up, she'll have done wonders for his love life.

 

Robert and Sarah? Not so much. If he was just staying for the expected "prizes" then he should have told her, especially in the FS. Otherwise, it's just cold and rude.

 

I hope they change it so that people don't commit to someone so fast (often out of fear of having no one at the elim). Jesse was a d-bag, but if everyone had the idea "getting to know you, even if it means playing around for a few weeks" it would have been a lot more interesting.

 

Interesting that CH wants to have Brooks back for a lot longer time. I think he's right that if he could have come on earlier instead of some of the others (Dylan, Zack, etc.), he might have found a relationship that was more interesting than many we saw.

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Did anyone else think the girl on the phone sounded mature for a nine-year-old? On the Bachelorette we had Nick's ten-year-old sister looking blankly at Andi as she was talking about "emotional connections", and here a nine-year-old is supposedly giving her mother sage relationship advice?

 

Yeah, that definitely did not sound like a 9-year-old. In addition to the advice sounding way too old to be coming from a 9 year old, I thought the voice even sounded older. I feel like that scene was totally fake. I really hope it was, because Michelle saying, "I just don't want to mess it up again, like remember [Mark or whatever the dude's name was]?" left a bad taste in my mouth. You're really going to put your child in the middle of your relationship drama like that? 

 

I couldn't help but notice the double standard with Michelle doing the very things she had attacked Jesse for last week. Talking about someone's physical attributes, bragging about positions and crudely talking about what was done in "every corner of the room," while they were alone. 

 

YES! She was being so disgusting. And I found it to be even worse since she obviously knows her daughter will see her saying all that. 

 

Am I alone in finding Marcus really creepy?  He seems like the type to fall stalkerishly in love with every single girl he dates.  

 

You are absolutely not the only one getting that creepy, stalker vibe from Marcus!

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I guess I'm a Sarah apologist.  But I think if Robert just wasn't into her (and wasn't into "getting deep into her"(tm Sarah)), he probably should have just told her that rather than putting on his button-fly-chastity-jeans and pretending to be tired.  

 

Let's be frank.  No matter what I think of any of these contestants as people, I think all of them are, objectively, quite fuck-able.  I'd also wager that most of them are more than happy with no-strings-attached flings while on a paid vacation.  

 

And, if anything, doing "fiancé stuff" in this "fantasy suite" is less skeezy than on TB, because it's not like you're "proposing" to someone else in a few days.

 

I really don't understand what was up with Robert (even if I have a pretty good idea what wasn't up).

 

I can tell you what's up with Robert.  That was the finale script.  Three of six couples self-eliminate.  Of the remaining three:  One is twue wuv forever, one thinks it's true love until lack of 'fantasy' in the suite, and one the opposite- think it's not love until miracle FS bone-a-rama.  

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I wouldn't necessarily assume that Michelle's daughter will watch that part of the show.  In Chris Harrison's blog, he mentions warning Michelle by text not to watch it with her mom & daughter. 

 

And as Michelle has dated before, like many single parents, she has had to discuss dating with her daughter.  Children living in 2-parent household don't really have those types of conversations with their parents because it's not relevant to their lives.    

 

I don't imagine Nick's parents let his little sister watch him on the finale, talking about having sex with Andi, so we can't assume Michelle's daughter watched her mom.

 

And when my niece Heidi was 7, she had the voice of a 45 year-old male smoker.  I swear it was hilarious, hearing that voice come out of that tiny female mouth.  But kid voices vary a lot. 

Edited by leighdear
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And as Michelle has dated before, like many single parents, she has had to discuss dating with her daughter. Children living in 2-parent household don't really have those types of conversations with their parents because it's not relevant to their lives.

 

 

Yeah, I'm not going to shame her for that. I was raised by a single mom and we talked about who she dated. I even saw her ugly cry over several guys. You just kinda realize that your parent is a real person and accept it.

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Eh, I dunno. There's a big difference between the kind of dating conversations you have to have with a child ("Mommy has a new friend, let's have an age-appropriate conversation about what that means for you") and asking your 9-year-old daughter for dating advice. Michelle struck me as ridiculously immature and inappropriate during that phone call. What's even more absurd is that she was in a house with at least several other women - if you have to vomit your blubbering insecurities onto someone, have the sense to do it to one of your adult girlfriends instead of your elementary-school kid, fercrissakes. Though I guess that's asking too much from a dingbat who thinks it's appropriate to wander off and leave said child for months on end to repeatedly find "love" on camera.

 

Between that scene and the ridiculous meddling nonsense with Graham in which she actually managed to make me feel a little sorry for Crazy AshLee, I think I'm officially over Michelle Money.

  • Love 9
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I can tell you what's up with Robert.  That was the finale script.  Three of six couples self-eliminate.  Of the remaining three:  One is twue wuv forever, one thinks it's true love until lack of 'fantasy' in the suite, and one the opposite- think it's not love until miracle FS bone-a-rama.

 

I think that IS pretty close to the truth.  You really couldn't have a bunch of Bachelor/B'ettes alum just laying around drinking for 7 weeks and expect there to be enough drama to keep interest.  Of course Michelle was the ringmaster with the scripting, although I do hope that there is something there and lasting with Michelle and Cody. I think Lacey could have been ANY girl that Marcus latched on to.

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I figure Lacey and Marcus have as much of a chance as any Bachelor couple. I was thinking earlier today that they probably had more 1-on-1 time than the Bachelor/ette and the "winner." The producers mostly left them alone early on, so they had time to get to know each other and not have as much drama thrown their way. 

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I think Marcus and Lacy have a better chance than most Bachelor(ette) pairings because they both chose each other, rather than one of them having their chose of people while the other just wants to win the only prize offered to them. And they the majority of their time together was sitting around doing nothing so BiP is already more like the real world (albeit with a dash of the old Montezuma's revenge) than the Bachelor(ette) ever was, where you sit around with a bunch of competitors waiting to be chosen from the herd for an hour on some ridiculously over the top date.

 

I'm less optimistic about MIchelle and Cody and give them until around the time the producers start casting for next season, when Michelle will drop him like a well hung potato so she can try to become famous one more time.

 

As for the Raccoon, I do hope that Clare comes back and gives him another chance. I think they had really good chemistry, and he was also so attentive to her. I doubt he would shrug and act like he didn't care if she went out with any random mammal with a date card.

 

Now that the season is over, for me it is clear that the editing and sound were the best things about this show. It was fun to see the producers being so tongue in cheek about the whole thing. I mean, they could have just said Chris and whoever it was who left to be his nurse broke up but they went the extra mile and told us it was only two weeks later (or whatever short span of time it was, didn't care enough to remember, just remember it was short and it made me laugh that they put that in there).

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Just chiming in to say thanks everyone for the entertainment. I had to forward past Chris Harrison's soliloquies and some of the nauseating couple conversations, but other than that - I got many good giggles out of that & I giggled again when I read your posts. Hehehe. I will be tuning in next summer hoping for an improved version. Is Catherine pregnant btw? 

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Am I alone in finding Marcus really creepy?  He seems like the type to fall stalkerishly in love with every single girl he dates.

 

 

Yeah no kidding, considering he told Andi he loved her by like Episode 4 and they'd barely had much time together at that point. And despite claiming how still not over Andi he was when he got down to BiP, barely a few days there he was already so in with Lacy. Hey, it might work out, if nothing else because they both seem like incredibly dumb and dull people so in the end they may be too dull to break up and just spend the time appreciating each other's looks or in Marcus' case Lacy's boobs. 

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I wonder if Marcus fell into the same emotional net that my brother-in-law did when he was 26.  He had dated plenty of different women - could pretty much have dated anyone he wanted, he was extraordinarily good looking and charming.  His brother and I had been together since high school, and after being around us so much and seeing that we'd had a really good relationship for nearly a decade, he started feeling that settling down with "the one" and starting new chapters in his life was what he really wanted, too.  He was ready to commit to someone for the right reasons!  But, you can't just decide you're ready for marriage and children, snap your fingers and suddenly "the one" just knocks on your door.  Sadly, he never did have much in the way of patience, so he married the very next woman he met after 6 weeks, she was immediately pregnant, and by the time she was ready to have the baby, he couldn't stand her anymore (it is noteworthy that she lied about all of the very important fundamentals of herself as a person, and gave him the 6 week deadline to marry her or lose her).  Long story short, the entire thing ended in actual disaster, to no one's shock.  I see Marcus going through these motions - he is ready to be married and have a family, and he's SUPER ANXIOUS to find the woman to fill the role of wife.  Maybe Lacy really is the right one and they will live happily ever after, but I just wouldn't be me if I weren't a little skeptical.

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