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SilverStormm

Love Prison

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Billy and Jeanne have dated online for six months but they've never met face to face...until now. The wild-at-heart bachelor and single mom in search of "The One" are isolated on a remote island for one whole week in the Love Prison. After a wild roller coaster of a week, can their relationship survive or will they leave alone and broken hearted?

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I didn't think anything could be worse than that Paradise Island show (the one with couples?  Can't remember what the point was but there was a lot of drunk drama?).  Yes, I watched this.  A&E has sunken to a new low.  And it was fabulous!  Billy puts the "B" in douche bag and Jeanne really needs to smarten up because this guy will never be marriage/monogamy material.  Plus he is an incredible douche bag, if I didn't say it enough.

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I can't imagine why Billy the Long Island XL is still single at 42.  If a video interview full of bragging about women on the side isn't enough to make a lady swoon, then a shark costume has got to be the key to her heart.  Well, that and pressing his man-nipples against the frosted glass while she empties her bladder.

 

When I first saw the title Love Prison, I was expecting something different.  As in, less Catfish and more "Don't Drop the Soap!".

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http://www.zap2it.com/blogs/love_prison_series_premiere_the_tv_is_the_window_to_the_soul-2014-09

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/review/love-prison-tv-review-729745

 

Elsewhere, the show's first two participants, Billy and Jeanne — both of whom are parents, and around 40 — are awkward, quiet, stilted, and prone to doing nothing at all, which backs up the claim that most of the time, there isn't anyone there telling them what to do. The problem is, it's pretty boring.

http://hellogiggles.com/need-talk-new-dating-show-love-prison

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Billy had the kind of "charm" you fall for in your early 20s, when immaturity is seen as "he's so fun to be around" and pouting is seen as "brooding and introspective."  Ugh.

 

This was deliciously bad. Can't wait for more episodes!!

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I didn't think anything could be worse than that Paradise Island show (the one with couples? Can't remember what the point was but there was a lot of drunk drama?). Yes, I watched this. A&E has sunken to a new low. And it was fabulous! Billy puts the "B" in douche bag and Jeanne really needs to smarten up because this guy will never be marriage/monogamy material. Plus he is an incredible douche bag, if I didn't say it enough.

I so agree. Billy had douchebag loser written all over him, he seemed to think of himself as hot stuff when in reality he's just gross. If a guy I barely met got all huffy with me for not kissing or sleeping with him the first day I met him, I would tell him to shove it.

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Jeanne seems sweet and I hope she had 3rd thought and dropped this "relationship".  Billy will not settle down, and that's OK.  Just means Jeanne shouldn't waste her time chasing something that she'll never attain.  I'm sure there are plenty of worth datable guys in Cali for her.

 

Now with the positivity out of the way, I must snark...

 

What is it with grown adult women speaking with that breathy baby-doll voice??? Do a lot of non-pedophile tendency men find that attractive?  Do these women use the same "poor widdle girwl" voice at work or with their friends and family? So irritating.  It's almost as bad as the vocal fry or up-speak habits.  Nails on a chalk board!

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I had to notice that Jeanne had a TON of sun damage, especially on her face. She looked far older than her given age. use your sunblock!

Edited by peaceknit
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Must say I too was distracted by her freckles/soon-to-be basal cell carcinomas all over her body.  If that woman thinks Billy is the one for her, she seriously needs to find a therapist who can help her with her self-esteem issues.  I know from first-hand experience that this is what a cheating husband does to your psyche, but considering having a relationship with a pig like Billy isn't the solution.

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Her boys are young and he's not exactly what I would consider good step-dad material.  He got all weepy about his son and BFF which was really touching but we haven't gotten and won't get a chance to meet him to see how he's turned out so far.  I believe that he's 16.  Good chance he's a lot like his dad and that's not necessarily a good thing!    

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I didn't think anything could be worse than that Paradise Island show (the one with couples?  Can't remember what the point was but there was a lot of drunk drama?).  Yes, I watched this.

Paradise Hotel and my intro into the world of craptacular reality tv.  It is also sets the bar for how low and bad a show needs to go to hold my attention in reality tv.

 

I hadn't heard of Love Prison but I'll give it a shot in hopes of it meeting my lowbrow standards.

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Another thing that bugged me about Billy - wen he first started talking about his son he called him "a mistake".  Granted he followed it immediately by saying it was the best "mistake" he ever made and it sounds like he has a good relationship with the kid.  But "mistake" is just so damaging to a kid's psyche IMO.  Even if Little Billy is 16 and he knows all about the birds n' bees, it'd be better hearing his mother/father use another phrase or word.  Take it as an opportunity to discuss responsible behavior, safe sex, contraception, STD's etc. (as each parent thinks its appropriate time/age).

 

I have a feeling Big Billy is probably more concerned his kid is as smooth an operator as (he thinks) he is.

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A computer nerd from Iowa and a Los Angeles partier meet in person for the first time after dating online for two years.

This episode was everything I'd hoped for.

Edited by cooksdelight · Reason: Adding episode synopsis
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Whatever you might say about Chris, at least he was smart enough to recognize crazy when he saw it and decided to end the relationship, regardless of the fact that she was hot (gah, what was her name again?).  Talk about going from zero to psychotic in 5 seconds.  Not to mention that annoying habit of saying "like" every other word.  Chris had his own truck load of issues, being a nebishy momma's boy among them, but he'll find a sweet, intelligent, geeky, plain-looking girl who will adore him and he'll adore her.

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At first Chris, the kind of guy that can be described as the "marrying kind"  was blinded by Rosie's hotness, and Asian-ness.  She was indeed out of his league.  Why was she still available?

 

We were soon to find out.

 

Rosie was psycho.

 

If she asks you how creamy the creamy ceasar is, and you don't offer to pass it to her, expect drah-ma.  She will reward your cooking efforts with effusive compliments like "It tastes like chicken."  God forbid you don't shut the microwave the way she likes it; she'll chew your ear off for a half hour.  She loves you, she hates you, you can't touch her, but she "needs it" at least every second month.  She was throwing things at him?  What a nut.  And stupid, too.  She had the vocabulary of a 3 year old.  Two hundred words, max.  Zero conversation unless "stop staring at me" counts.

 

Then at the end of the show, judgment time is a'comin', suddenly she put on the charm.  I cringed.  She was so phony.  After finding Chris to be an insufferable bore (she was rolling her eyes while he was serenading her), now she was to continue dating him.

 

But Chris found his walnuts and didn't fall for it.  He actually turned her down!  He seemed a little naive and desperate, I was proud of him.  Immediately upon pain of rejection, she started back with the venom, she hated him again!

 

Chris was smiling on the boat.  That "I dodged a bullet" smile.

 

You sure did, Chris.  You sure did.

Edited by Toaster Strudel
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Haha!

At first Chris, the kind of guy that can be described as the "marrying kind" was blinded by Rosie's hotness, and Asian-ness. She was indeed out of his league. Why was she still available?

We were soon to find out.

Rosie was psycho.

If she asks you how creamy the creamy ceasar is, and you don't offer to pass it to her, expect drah-ma. She will reward your cooking efforts with effusive compliments like "It tastes like chicken." God forbid you don't shut the microwave the way she likes it; she'll chew your ear off for a half hour. She loves you, she hates you, you can't touch her, but she "needs it" at least every second month. She was throwing things at him? What a nut. And stupid, too. She had the vocabulary of a 3 year old. Two hundred words, max. Zero conversation unless "stop staring at me" counts.

Then at the end of the show, judgment time is a'comin', suddenly she put on the charm. I cringed. She was so phony. After finding Chris to be an insufferable bore (she was rolling her eyes while he was serenading her), now she was to continue dating him.

But Chris found his walnuts and didn't fall for it. He actually turned her down! He seemed a little naive and desperate, I was proud of him. Immediately upon pain of rejection, she started back with the venom, she hated him again!

Chris was smiling on the boat. That "I dodged a bullet" smile.

You sure did, Chris. You sure did.

Totally nailed it! Everything I would have said. *slow clap*

Thank goodness he wasn't a doormat and put up with her crap. She is a barrel of loony and then some. Let's count how many times she disrespected him during the week shall we:

Eavesdropping on his private convo, telling him he stinks, his kiss tastes like alcohol, he is overly sensitive, not to touch her, he's a wussy, non-athletic, has chubby cheeks, that his celibacy puts pressure on her, snores like a washing machine, he's boring, he acts like a school boy because he called his mom, he's not fun, is boring, not playful, not lively, is like 'ugh', wants to kill him, break his guitar, he is a tool, doesn't get it, go away, a mistake, is too nice, different, more mature, he doesn't work out, is weird,

..their relationship would involve her emasculating him day by day until he drank himself to death to numb the pain of losing his manhood.

She is flighty, high maintenance, rude, not honest, wishy washy, does not value the relationship, does not believe in compromise, suffers from narcissism, wants to be constantly impressed, petulant, impudent, immature, erratic, childish, selfish, violent tendencies, fears getting hurt while she is doing the hurting...long list. He said she is crazy...loved that!

You are right, when decision time came she switched her tune, and now wanted him to pick her. Became flirty, courteous, and kind...what a loon.

So glad he dumped her. Loved the rejection...he handled it really well. She really played herself that week. Now she's trying to save face and blame it on him...whatever.

Edited by Spiderella2
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They've set up a potentially interesting scenario, but I found the first couples so annoying so quickly I wouldn't want to spend a whole hour with them.

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Who will get a Kickstarter campaign going to get her a tubal ligation?  She wants children?  Poor innocent tortured little angels, if this woman ever reproduces.  She's really deranged.

 

She was profoundly stupid and had no conversation beyond made up pre-kindergarten drama.  She probably has one of these jobs for good-looking people.  Not waiting on tables, that's too much work and requires too much thinking.  Maybe clothing retail but she has no personal charisma at all.

 

To boot, she was really entitled (like brainless good-looking people can be) that she should have her every unspoken whim catered to - while herself blissfully and willfully unaware of Chris's wants and needs.  Me! Me! Me!

 

Chris sounded at least of average intelligence.  He may be smarter than that, but I guess he couldn't talk over her head.  He seemed really laid back and easy to get along with.  He was pretty upfront about being infatuated with her looks.  He raved about that and nothing else. 

 

It was a great moment when Chris had the sense to point out that it was not his responsibility to amuse her.  He was actually super patient with her, even as I detected some hints of concern-trolling from him.

 

The producers must have cackled like maniacs in the meeting about the prospect of putting an average guy that thinks with his penis in a "love prison" with a bad case of the BSC.

 

"He just doesn't understand!" 

 

 

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Among all of her many, many faults, it looks like she has fleas, as evidenced by how often she scratched her head.

 

Oh, and she's seriously delusional.

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I think we're seeing the results of an Extreme-Guide-to-Parenting-style of raising a child to think she is the best at everything, without actually ever having to prove an iota of social worth. Is that dressing caesar creamy?

.

.

.

<whines> No! <stomps foot> That means pass it to me! <pouts>

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<whines> No! <stomps foot> That means pass it to me! <pouts>

How dare you not be able to read my mind!

 

It's a good thing that Chris didn't get physical with Rosie.  Even if consensual, on tape and her being the initiator, she'd probably accuse him of rape when she got bored (or when her next mood swing occurred in five minutes).  The girl is terribly unhinged.

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When I first saw the title Love Prison, I was expecting something different.  As in, less Catfish and more "Don't Drop the Soap!".

Me too! I was thinking something prison like, penpals, something. I think the reality isn't so great :P

 

Another thing that bugged me about Billy - wen he first started talking about his son he called him "a mistake".  Granted he followed it immediately by saying it was the best "mistake" he ever made and it sounds like he has a good relationship with the kid.  But "mistake" is just so damaging to a kid's psyche IMO.  Even if Little Billy is 16 and he knows all about the birds n' bees, it'd be better hearing his mother/father use another phrase or word.  Take it as an opportunity to discuss responsible behavior, safe sex, contraception, STD's etc. (as each parent thinks its appropriate time/age).

 

I have a feeling Big Billy is probably more concerned his kid is as smooth an operator as (he thinks) he is.

On the mistake angle, I always knew I was a mistake/accident... my parents were 19, what else was I going to be? It never bothered me.

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Oh my word, she was a NUT. He seemed like a perfectly nice guy. I was so proud when he stood up to her and I loled when she was all "purr, I like you and wanna be with you, like, like, like, like..." (ENOUGH WITH THE "LIKE") and he was all "no!" and then she was all "well, you're boring and I hate you!"

 

What a tool.

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They talked for TWO years and he had no clue how nutso she was? She must have omitted the word "like" from her chatting sessions.

 

Let me guess?  She sent a lot of nude selfies for him to wank to.  Two years... he wasn't in a rush to meet her!  When you're in love, you move mountains.  He wasn't in love.

 

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Just finished watching this episode and to me, this type of relationship was doomed to fail in this format. You could tell she was used to being around people and fun and music and TV and locking her up for a week with a boring, nerdy, non-spontaneous type-- nothing wrong with that-- with none of those things was bound to drive her nuts and throw him for a loop. I definitely don't think this would have worked out and for Chris, it was better this way because he found out quick enough that she's a wacko. If they spent a good portion of their early dates hanging in groups of people, her true colors would have taken much longer to appear.

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What an unattractive couple. He looked dirty to me and I thought his behavior at the beginning with the slapping hands under his legs and whatever was bizarre. A shark suit? He was just completely unattractive and seemed to require liquor at all times.

 

She looked like she was in her 50s andseemed desperate, especially since after leaving, she decided to continue on with him from afar while he has a bevy of other local women who are just charmed to death by his sock stuffed skivvies. 

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The first time I read the synopsis when I was putting it in here, I swear I thought it said they met in prison. HA

lol same!

 

So, he's super muscly and likes to prance around naked because he loves himself immensely? And she... talks a lot? :P

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I'm seeing this show for the first time. Haven't made my way through it but i thought when he saw her for the first time he's be like, woah. She's chunky and looks like beef jerky.

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Apparently he's only comfortable in his birthday suit.

 

He's out of her league... prediction: he's going to be the psycho.

 

Ha, I am just now watching this show.  Brilliant observation!  

 

The heavy spray-on tan isn't doing her any favors right about now.

 

Amen.  

 

Yeah, I would be annoyed with his getting naked like that.  No one wants to see your junk and it isn't funny.  But I wouldn't be surprised if this woman engaged in some serious sexting with this guy and he thought it was okay.

Nicole can't seem to carry on a conversation either.  She seemed angry from the get go.

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Nicole seems so hostile, even from the beginning before Nekkiegate. No music?  No phone?  She looks bored stiff like she can't even hold a conversation.  

 

I mean, he's trying hard to get her to talk and she's like this wall of silence.

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She needs the boring guy from the previous episode, the one with a book in his hand all the time. Do you think they could mix the couples up?

 

This is the first episode I have watched! I love the concept!  

 

She almost has this drunk look to her.  And while I don't like muscle men, she kinda looks like she's 20 years older than him.

 

And now she doesn't want to work out at all.  Me thinks her claims to be into working out were over blown. And now she's smoking too.  She seems to have the emotional maturity of a preteen.

Edited by sasha206
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