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S17.E17: Crash and Bond


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(edited)

Austin is not coming clean about why he is not ready to go further with Becca and NO ONE is making him tell her the real reason!  It is making her look like THE most insecure, needy woman on the planet, but as someone that was once down that road, there is NOTHING more invalidating for a woman than being with a potential sexual partner that leads her on sexually all the way to first base with her but never goes any further and won't tell her why either, but STILL acts like he wants to do it!   My GOD, this is the WORST case of leading someone on I've EVER seen!  It's not on her that she's taking it personally and has become more forward with her advances toward him - who wouldn't at this point?  He is RIDICULOUS and no one is calling him out on it!  To this point (and maybe even next week) the show is making Becca look like the one to blame for this.

Men are generally more used to that with women and have a more resilient self image in that regard (they expect to have to wait for sex and "wear a woman down" or wait for her to become more comfortable with having sex with them), but women often take it as a mortal blow to their egos that only festers with time and eventually turns them into the pathetic insecure, needy pile of Jello we are seeing in Becca right now.  I feel for her, I really do.  And he's completely CLUELESS about what he's doing to her and none of these so-called experts are making him address his behavior!

I was thinking she should back off and let him come to her but I'm not even convinced that her pressure is the reason he's backing away from her so it probably wouldn't work anyway.  I just think he's not into her and she's sensing that, but he's not man enough to admit it to her.  What a jerk-wad he is.

BTW, in my case, I later realized that the guy that did something like this to me many years ago had real hang-ups about sex in general that he probably would need extensive therapy to get over.  I know based on social media that he never got married and there's no evidence of him in a serious relationship either.  Something was not right there and I wonder if something similar is going on with Austin.

Edited by Yeah No
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These men this season are pieces of work.  I feel like Orion, Brennan and Austin are all saying one thing and doing the opposite.  Now Brennan is walking the walk suddenly but I don't believe him.  As soon as Emily recovers he'll go back to the way he was before about her.  Orion must be reading from a script and Lauren is on to him and not having it - good for her.  AND she's calling him out for not putting his money where his mouth is because he doesn't contact her off camera. 

But it's not just the men that are doing this - Chloe is trying to act like she's into Michael but she isn't fooling anyone.  Those little faces she makes when she doesn't realize it tell the tale.  What an actress she is!  And it almost feels like Michael is playing up his interest in women's clothing too much.  Why?  Is production putting him up to it to create drama?  I don't get it.  It doesn't feel for real.  Maybe he's trying to get rid of her?  LOL.

I just wanted to mention how Lauren on the afterparty joked around about seeing Austin as a "makeover" project and how as a woman she loves the idea of helping a man improve his clothing choices.  And she's not exactly a shallow person focused only on appearance, either.  Good for her.

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8 hours ago, Hip-to-be-Square said:

Brennan looked bored out of his mind in that hospital room, and he's not suddenly and miraculously attracted to her now that she had an accident

To be fair, waiting around a hospital is boring. I spent about six hours with my mom in the ER a few months ago (she’s okay) and a lot of it was boring. He’s totally not into her though; I don’t know that he did anything most people wouldn’t do. I’ve called 911 for strangers before.

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45 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

To be fair, waiting around a hospital is boring. I spent about six hours with my mom in the ER a few months ago (she’s okay) and a lot of it was boring. He’s totally not into her though; I don’t know that he did anything most people wouldn’t do. I’ve called 911 for strangers before.

I'm sure you didn't look as bored as Brennan or like you were putting on a fake concerned act for a camera either, though.  My husband spent 4 hours with me in the hospital yesterday as I got my colonoscopy (which went great, BTW), and he never ONCE looked anywhere near fake and bored like Brennan.

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11 hours ago, Hip-to-be-Square said:

Brennan looked bored out of his mind in that hospital room, and he's not suddenly and miraculously attracted to her now that she had an accident- especially with that big ass gash on her forehead that will require plastic surgery 😏. He might respect her pluckiness and courage in facing the injury, but he still doesn't want to be with her.  He's not a good actor and the contempt is written all over his face. 

I'm still wondering about her stitches!!

They look like "train tracks" and certainly not what would be done on the face and would leave a wide scar. Those look like they need to be cut out.

A plastic surgeon can make a straight line with dissolvable stitches.

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(edited)
42 minutes ago, Rightside said:

I'm still wondering about her stitches!!

They look like "train tracks" and certainly not what would be done on the face and would leave a wide scar. Those look like they need to be cut out.

A plastic surgeon can make a straight line with dissolvable stitches.

Yes! Those stitches looked terrible 😦- they were probably done to stop the bleeding with major hopes that a plastic surgeon and skin treatments could correct the scarring.  I think the producers should pony up plastic surgery expenses at the very least to correct that scar. 

Edited by Hip-to-be-Square
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(edited)

I don't think the crash changed anything between Brennan & Emily. He still says the same things about "being in each other's lives." It just seems like a new soundbite for him that he's said twice, at least. 🤷‍♀️ I hope Emily doesn't think anything changed & he still only cares on a basic human level. Too bad she didn't have a loving partner who would've at least cleaned the blood off her face. How would that crash have killed her & did the helmet prevent worse injuries or something? 🤔🧐

Edited by Lindz
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What was the point of Becca bringing up nothing happening on the retreat? What was the end goal? How was that supposed to be productive? Then she expected him to cuddle later? WHAAA?!! It's seeming like mismatch in affection, like he's content with what he's doing & thinks it's good enough & that he's making some progress & she's not content & it isn't good enough & feels they've made no progress, but she's not rejecting him or complaining about it in the moment. Complaining about it later isn't the right move. Complaining at all isn't the move, it's not encouraging. Ask the plan, say something encouraging! I'm really not understanding the constant discussion about that first night of the retreat. Why doesn't he just plan something & say it's a redo/make-up? Was that the wolves thing? When is he gunna stop saying he wants to & will do something & actually do something? Romance & flirting ideas? There's Google! Is he that lazy?!! WTF is he thinking?!! Looks like he's just running out the clock & she's settling for his BS somewhat hoping it'll change. WHY NOT ASK THE QUESTIONS?!?!! She's that afraid of the answers?!! 🤨

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Brennan can't win, no matter what he does.  Sure, he's done with Emily but that doesn't mean he doesn't care about her getting well.  Looking bored in the hospital?  The cameras were there, and he was probably trying to look composed.  And maybe he was bored.  So what?  I think he still was concerned about her, and that injury looked nasty.

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Although there is discussion about Brennan looking bored at the hospital, I probably look bored when I'm just waiting in the doctor's office for 10 minutes.  Being in a ward/room could be exhausting-there is always something going on, nurses coming in to check on patients, etc.  I don't blame him for looking bored-he was being attentive/supportive when appropriate.  

Do I think it change his feelings towards Emily?  Absolutely not.  Does she think it changed his feelings towards her?  Maybe.

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15 hours ago, princelina said:

That seems reasonable - which means there are probably at least a dozen episodes left! 😂😂😂

So in what might be my unpopular opinion - I'd like to commiserate with Orion, because tonight he lost the award for Biggest Piece of Shit This Season when Austin ran in and Stole It! from him!  I still think he ditched Becca last week because she went for his dick in the night and he fled like his butt was on fire!  Then she had a "stomach bug" (or was hanging out in bed after realizing she had humiliated herself AGAIN!) and when they got back together to "communicate" about it, and she boohooed that she was so tired of feeling unwanted or whatever, that fucker had the nerve to say something like, "Well, sorry that you feel that way because I had wanted to do something sexy tonight but . . . whatever". Gaslighter in chief!  My blood boiled on that shit.  And taking her to see wolves mate was just the cherry on top of the erotic-terrarium sundae.  (although I know that was producer-forced, but clearly that dickhead has no shame at all 😡). And then on Afterparty Keisha and the other girls gave him the out of "You always seem ready and then she talks about it and your dick wilts" and he's all, "Yeah, that's the ticket!"  Even before when Keisha said something like, "When you say intimacy you're talking about sex, right?" and he has the nerve to loftily mutter something like, "Well to me intimacy is more than sex . . ."  Shut up, Austin.  Just shut it.  YTA.

Moving on to Michael and Chloe - if Michael really really wants to "find love" may I suggest that he look at Chloe:  steal her jewelry, wear her earrings, go out in public in a skirt:  we can practically see the dick that she doesn't even have go into shrinkage; beat everyone out in feats of strength and she's impressed and turned on!  When he was lounging in his tub and she went in dressed head to toe in black I couldn't help but think of Woody and Amani - and how she would have jumped into that tub with him!  Made me wonder if Michael made the mistake of modeling lingerie before he bathed (someone mentioned earlier that Pepper skipped the underpants drawers  this season - her mistake, or editing just saving this little surprise for us/Chloe?  We demand to know!!! 😃)

On to the first runner-up for Biggest Piece of Shit This Season - Orion!  When Lauren says she feels like a "partner of one" in this marriage, he's shocked and dismayed!! "I don't know why you feel that way - all I did was use a moment of vulnerable conversation to race-bait you into using a term you didn't even understand in order to lie about it's origin and then act so offended that I needed to ditch you for 2 HOURS to sulk about it and then make you repeatedly beg for my forgiveness on camera - what's wrong about that?"  Here's a newsflash, you condescending asshole, maybe apologize for doing that?  "Nah, I'll just sit here and act all pathetic and confused about it instead."  Okay.

Nothing to say about the rest of them - they are done and should go home.  I will say Clare had nice looking arm muscles in the obstacle course.

Hahaha .. loved this.

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17 hours ago, atomic said:

A quick Google image search tells me it's Zara. It doesn't look like they sell it any longer, but it is available through eBay or Poshmark if you search "Zara Cream Pink Jacquard Cable-Knit Sweater."

Thank you!

8 hours ago, Empress1 said:

To be fair, waiting around a hospital is boring. I spent about six hours with my mom in the ER a few months ago (she’s okay) and a lot of it was boring. He’s totally not into her though; I don’t know that he did anything most people wouldn’t do. I’ve called 911 for strangers before.

I have spent more time than I care to in ERs with people I love tremendously and it was still as boring as fuck. The waits are long and anything “interesting” is most likely nothing you actually want to have happen. I’ve fallen asleep waiting with people; read books; looked at my phone and just sat, staring into space and willing the time to go faster. My facial expression said nothing at all about how I felt about the person I was with or how worried I was.

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Brennan might have been looking bored, but he might also have been thinking, "What's next?"  Sure, people have accidents all the time, but she's already had an accident in the shower, and now the ATV accident.  How else is she going to hurt herself?  How often is she drinking?  He might be concerned about her, but he clearly wants out.  His biggest mistake is proclaiming being married for life before he even met his wife.     

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Finally watched the episode. I would not entertain conversation with Orion if I were Lauren. They knew each other ten days. She owes him nothing. I love when she said her head was like “this is bullshit.” (I don’t tend to stay friends with exes.)

Austin is 31 and if I recall correctly Becca turned 32 during filming, so they’re the same age. It is so depressing to hear her ask Austin to flirt with her. Repeatedly, over an extended period of time. I’d have stopped asking long ago.

Michael has some nice arms! He was killing it at the obstacle course (which I thought looked like fun).

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Wait a minute. When have we ever seen Brennan not look bored?! Why is this even a question? Who “has a good time” when they’re in the hospital with someone with a traumatic injury? At the very least, he didn’t look any more bored than he does at any other given time in his apartment with Emily. Stroking her hand and focusing on her was certainly the most enthusiastic he’s ever acted toward her. Mind you, this was a very low bar to clear.

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While Michael has every right to look however he wants, it's too bad he's chosen to look so weird because without the tattoos, earrings, and weird clothes, I think he's handsome with a nice body.   

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8 hours ago, Hip-to-be-Square said:

Yes! Those stitches looked terrible 😦- they were probably done to stop the bleeding with major hopes that a plastic surgeon and skin treatments could correct the scarring.  I think the producers should pony up plastic surgery expenses at the very least to correct that scar. 

The producers aren't responsible for Emily's medical treatment and costs. The treatment is between her and the doctors.

I'm sure she had to sign a document before she did the ATV ride that the company can't be responsible if there is an accident.

Also, I would think that stitches need to be covered to keep the cut from getting infected.

Seems there could be more to this story!

 

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(edited)
10 hours ago, Rightside said:

I'm still wondering about her stitches!!

They look like "train tracks" and certainly not what would be done on the face and would leave a wide scar. Those look like they need to be cut out.

A plastic surgeon can make a straight line with dissolvable stitches.

There are stitches and there are stiches.  When I broke my arm several years ago and needed surgery they explained to me that there were permanent stitches and then there were those big awkward train tracks that were the temporary ones that had to be cut to be removed eventually.  I vividly remember the nurses that came to cut them for me. 

I think it depends on the type of wound as to which kind of stitches they use and it isn't chosen based on the location of the would being on the face.  I remember they explained to me at the time why they couldn't use the dissolvable stitches, but as this was 7 and a half years ago my memory on that is a little fuzzy.  I think they only use the dissolvable for lesser wounds.  Emily's was a pretty extensive would.  Also, they told me that the surgeon doesn't do the stitching.  It's done by someone specifically assigned the "closing" stitches.  I was told that a woman did my permanent stitches and put extra effort into them so as not to create too much of a scar.  She did a very good job!  Oh, and those big temporary stitches left a very small scar.  It wouldn't take a lot of plastic surgery to get rid of them, but I'm sure it would cost some money.

2 hours ago, Rightside said:

Also, I would think that stitches need to be covered to keep the cut from getting infected.

Seems there could be more to this story!

I think the "more" to the story is that the show asked that her stitches not be bandaged up until after the filming just so that we could see them.

Edited by Yeah No
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2 hours ago, Crashcourse said:

While Michael has every right to look however he wants, it's too bad he's chosen to look so weird because without the tattoos, earrings, and weird clothes, I think he's handsome with a nice body.   

"Weird" is subjective though. There are people out there who wouldn't find Michael's look "weird." There are people out there who find guys in khakis and golf shirts to be pretty dull looking. I myself am ready to smack the ball cap off Austin's head. 

Then again, apparently I'm the only person who liked Chloe's big pink and white sweater, so what do I know? I do love a big cozy sweater.

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Wait a minute. When have we ever seen Brennan not look bored?! 

That's a good point. He's been angry but yeah, his default is "bored."

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Also, they told me that the surgeon doesn't do the stitching.  It's done by someone specifically assigned the "closing" stitches.

I think it depends on the setting and also the overall capabilities of the hospital. My friend is an OB. When he does a c-section or an episiotomy, he closes. For scheduled surgeries, I think there is a general surgeon who does the surgery itself but then often a surgical resident will close. This not only gives the residents a chance to build their skills but it frees the surgeon up to move to the next case. In the ER, I think sometimes the ER docs will close (or maybe a PA) but other times, they will call in a plastic surgeon if one is available? 

I'm still unclear on the accident itself, given that Emily was wearing a helmet but ended up with a large gash on the side/top of her head. Was she smacked in the face with a tree branch? Did the ATV flip or remain upright? She was right about one thing though - I think her injuries would have been much worse if she hadn't been wearing a helmet.
 

I'm not a particular fan of Emily or Brennan but I'm glad Emily is ok and the accident wasn't as bad as it could have been. 

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(edited)
1 hour ago, Elizzikra said:

"Weird" is subjective though. There are people out there who wouldn't find Michael's look "weird." There are people out there who find guys in khakis and golf shirts to be pretty dull looking. I myself am ready to smack the ball cap off Austin's head. 

Then again, apparently I'm the only person who liked Chloe's big pink and white sweater, so what do I know? I do love a big cozy sweater.

I'm still unclear on the accident itself, given that Emily was wearing a helmet but ended up with a large gash on the side/top of her head. Was she smacked in the face with a tree branch? Did the ATV flip or remain upright? She was right about one thing though - I think her injuries would have been much worse if she hadn't been wearing a helmet.

Regarding Michael - a lot of his look is subjective, but I think it's more the "ooooh can I make love to your pearls and earrings!" attitude that's the turnoff.  And unless it's a handsome Scots/Irish man in a kilt, no one wants to look at a man in a skirt. 

ETA: I too loved the big pink sweater!

Accident:  they said she ran into a tree and the branch went up inside her helmet.  Better than into the eye!

 

Edited by princelina
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6 hours ago, Empress1 said:

It is so depressing to hear her ask Austin to flirt with her. Repeatedly, over an extended period of time. I’d have stopped asking long ago.

I'm just not understanding how she thinks begging & guilt tripping him would work. It makes no sense. It's such a downer. Why not make it positive & be like, "let's brainstorm, let's make a plan." Maybe give him space & see if he even misses her. The behavior she described he didn't do that first night "inviting" her to the other room, did he even do that in his other relationships? She might be wanting something he doesn't do. They really need to talk about that.

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3 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

I think it depends on the setting and also the overall capabilities of the hospital. My friend is an OB. When he does a c-section or an episiotomy, he closes. For scheduled surgeries, I think there is a general surgeon who does the surgery itself but then often a surgical resident will close. This not only gives the residents a chance to build their skills but it frees the surgeon up to move to the next case. In the ER, I think sometimes the ER docs will close (or maybe a PA) but other times, they will call in a plastic surgeon if one is available? 

Interesting!  Maybe it also has to do with how long it would take to stitch someone up?  In both my and Emily's case those were long gashes and probably took some time to do so it's understandable that the surgeon in an emergency situation might not have the time to do that themselves.  I had to have bones set and steel rods put in, etc. so it needed 2 slits on either side of my forearm.  The outside one is so fine you'd never know it was there unless you look at it very, very closely so they definitely took as much care with that one as if it were on my face.

3 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

I'm still unclear on the accident itself, given that Emily was wearing a helmet but ended up with a large gash on the side/top of her head. Was she smacked in the face with a tree branch? Did the ATV flip or remain upright? She was right about one thing though - I think her injuries would have been much worse if she hadn't been wearing a helmet.

My husband had something similar happen 30+ years ago while riding a bicycle.  His tires slipped on a wet steel grating and he fell off the bike and hit his head on a pole while wearing a helmet.  The force of the hit made his sunglasses jam into his outside eye area and he ended up with a cut and also no concussion (but also a dislocated shoulder).  Although hers does look like a branch or something else was involved because her wound is much longer than his was.  Both accidents are proof that wearing a helmet is sooooo important on any kind of vehicle like that.

2 hours ago, princelina said:

And unless it's a handsome Scots/Irish man in a kilt, no one wants to look at a man in a skirt. 

ETA: I too loved the big pink sweater!

Agreed on both counts!  Living in a cold climate like I do, big warm sweaters are a must, especially at this time of year.

2 hours ago, princelina said:

Accident:  they said she ran into a tree and the branch went up inside her helmet.  Better than into the eye!

Her sunglasses may have prevented that actually!

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(edited)

Emily has "joked" about how accident-prone she is.

Also, see Emily drink.  And drink.  And drink.

I'm just sayin'.

A friend of mine had a really bad fall one night, down the stairs.  Multiple surgeries, still can't lift her arm over her head.  This friend also drinks a bottle of wine every night, sometimes more.  

Again, just sayin'.

Edited by Starlight925
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13 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

"Weird" is subjective though. There are people out there who wouldn't find Michael's look "weird." There are people out there who find guys in khakis and golf shirts to be pretty dull looking. I myself am ready to smack the ball cap off Austin's head. 

Yes, of course, it's subjective because I meant he looks weird to me. 

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12 minutes ago, Crashcourse said:

Yes, of course, it's subjective because I meant he looks weird to me. 

His outfits look weird to anyone! The curly Flock of Seagulls haircut, the horrible mismatch of poorly done so edgy 🙄 tattoos, women's jewelry and VH1 The Pickup Artist "Mystery" demented pimp pick up artist outfits- the eyes cannot rest on his outfits.  They're jarring to look at.  His outfit choices are attention seeking and frankly, embarrassing.  Nice guy, intelligent guy- horrible fashion sense.   He wore a great leather moto jacket and paired it with a skirt, leggings and converse.  What the hell is he doing?! 

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4 hours ago, Retired at last said:

Was it Emily or Becca who had a pink cast on her arm that seemed to come and go as she was on the afterparty?

Emily.
 

Becca has pink hair.

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1 hour ago, Elizzikra said:

Emily.
 

Becca has pink hair.

@Elizzikra, thank you. I know that Becca has pink hair. I was just asking about the one who had the pink cast, which you said was Emily, So, that is yet another injury she has had this season.

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On 2/16/2024 at 8:40 AM, Rightside said:

I'm still wondering about her stitches!!

They look like "train tracks" and certainly not what would be done on the face and would leave a wide scar. Those look like they need to be cut out.

A plastic surgeon can make a straight line with dissolvable stitches.

Probably  OT  but I’m still in shock from this week.  . I took my best friend

( whose husband doesn’t drive) to get the surgery for droopy eyelids.

He got the one on lids themselves that most are familiar with ,and then one where the surgeon cut across eyebrows and the bone is shaved leaving scar in the eyebrows. The second one very much sounds like cosmetic but his insurance paid.   Anyway when we go get him on surgery unit I swear my heart stopped.   He looked like a clown.  Perfect half circle stitched eyebrows up high.  I’d not heard of this eyebrow lift to help vision but he was saying previously that women don’t get it because of scaring.  On research they DON’T get it because women have less eyebrows and hair.   They were cross stitch and he’ll have those removed in a week. I hope cream that helps scaring works. 
 

I just couldn’t accept  Michael’s attire.  Sorry. .   I notice on the after-show he’s cut his hair.  Even if she wants him to tone it down I don’t see him willing to do it.  And maybe he shouldn’t have to.  Let’s see who was the guy who wore a odd nightshirt or gown in bed every night?   

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58 minutes ago, Retired at last said:

@Elizzikra, thank you. I know that Becca has pink hair. I was just asking about the one who had the pink cast, which you said was Emily, So, that is yet another injury she has had this season.

Yup. She still hasn't said why she has the cast...

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On 2/16/2024 at 3:33 AM, Yeah No said:

o the pathetic insecure, needy pile of Jello we are seeing in Becca right now.  I feel for her, I really do.  And he's completely CLUELESS about what he's doing to her and none of these so-called experts are making him address his behavior

No one is stopping Becca from asking him directly why he isn’t attracted to her. 

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We seem so shocked (well at least some of us) that these participants seem to be pushing their spouses away, don't know how to communicate their feelings and thoughts, and generally talk subjects into oblivion.  I think sometimes we forget that there are many, many reasons these participants weren't married or hadn't been in successful relationships.  We are watching these participants repeat their same issues, mistakes, etc., that they did in previous relationships.  I laugh everytime one of them gives advice to others when all of the current relationships seem to be falling apart.  The biggest issue seems to be that they all think their spouse is the one who needs to change in the relationship and that each one of them knows best and that their spouses (and everyone else) should listen to them. 

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4 hours ago, athousandclowns said:

Let’s see who was the guy who wore a odd nightshirt or gown in bed every night?   

Bennett from the New Orleans season. He was married to Amelia. 

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10 hours ago, Hip-to-be-Square said:

His outfits look weird to anyone! The curly Flock of Seagulls haircut, the horrible mismatch of poorly done so edgy 🙄 tattoos, women's jewelry and VH1 The Pickup Artist "Mystery" demented pimp pick up artist outfits- the eyes cannot rest on his outfits.  They're jarring to look at.  His outfit choices are attention seeking and frankly, embarrassing.  Nice guy, intelligent guy- horrible fashion sense.   He wore a great leather moto jacket and paired it with a skirt, leggings and converse.  What the 

 Seems fitting that a person who calls themselve Hip to be Square is giving this analysis of Michael's style. 😉

BTW, I agree with every word you said.

And the scraggly lock of hair moving aimlessly on the back of his head gives me the ick every episode. 🤮

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(edited)
11 hours ago, Blissfool said:

 Seems fitting that a person who calls themselve Hip to be Square is giving this analysis of Michael's style. 😉

So true! That was a great burn at my expense, and I love it! 🤣😆♥️🙌💯  I will say that I'm a very stylish lady- I know how to put an outfit together that is color coordinated, flattering and cute! And Michael's scraggly lock of hair in the back of his head is so bad- it creeps me out and it has a mind of its own! 😅 

Edited by Hip-to-be-Square
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9 hours ago, Retired at last said:

@Elizzikra, thank you. I know that Becca has pink hair. I was just asking about the one who had the pink cast, which you said was Emily, So, that is yet another injury she has had this season.

Now I could be wrong, but I think the arm injury happened when she fell off the bike but they only focused on that very briefly in one clip flashing by the screen.

 

2 hours ago, Hip-to-be-Square said:

That was a great burn at my expense, and I love it! 🤣😆♥️🙌💯  I will say that I'm a very stylish lady- I know how to put an outfit together that is color coordinated, flattering and cute! And Michael's scraggly lock of hair in the back of his head is so bad- it creeps me out and it has a mind of its own! 😅 

I hear you, I'm one of those myself so it's like chalk on a blackboard when I see some of these trainwreck outfits that Michael in particular has worn on this show.  It's not even what he wears as much as how he puts it together (although in his case what he wears is often an issue too).  I think he thinks he's being edgy and stylish but not in my opinion.  At least if you're going to go for a look, get it right!  To me it looks like he's trying too hard and putting every out-there look into one outfit just to make sure he's getting it right.  And it's overkill, IMO.  I have even suspected at times that he was put up to that by the show to make for more drama between him and Chloe.  I have also suspected that some of these looks of his are what he used to wear when he was younger in California but really doesn't wear so much anymore, especially not all at the same time!  Many of his looks are THAT caricature-like to me!  

Another reason I'm not completely buying it is that he seems far more mature and conventional in his personality to be wearing all that in just the way he does.  It doesn't jibe with his overall temperament.  If he were 10 years younger and seemed more unconventional maybe I would buy it.  Not that it's impossible for someone's look to be that different than their personality might suggest, but in his case I'm somehow not buying it.  He also seems to be pushing that angle with Chloe, making mention of wanting to wear her jewelry, etc.  It just seems so forced and fake like the show is putting him up to it.  I've been watching this show for a long time and this is tripping my BS meter BIG TIME!

P.S.  The way he has been dressing on the Afterparty does seem more in line with his personality so I believe that's the real him nowadays, not the one we saw on the show.

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15 hours ago, athousandclowns said:

Even if she wants him to tone it down I don’t see him willing to do it.  And maybe he shouldn’t have to.

He would not and should not. He seems very confident in his looks and presentation. You could tell Brennan was having a hard time with the earrings thing - he kept asking if Michael was joking about wearing Chloe’s earrings. He isn’t, and the right woman for Michael would be like “sure, wear my earrings, they look good on you.”

12 hours ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

No one is stopping Becca from asking him directly why he isn’t attracted to her. 

I wouldn’t ask this. Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answer to and all that. She already knows he’s not attracted to her, and I’m not sure what would be gained by her hearing, like, “your acne turns me off.” I think Austin is too nice a guy to say something like that, which is why he’ll give her the generic “you deserve someone who feels the same way you do” brush-off, which is about as kind as she can hope for - and she does deserve that. She seems very into Austin but being with someone who doesn’t feel the same way you do is really depressing, and at this point it’s not going to get better. 

 

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If Austin wanted to f*ck Becca, he would have done it by now... esp if they are getting along, having fun, feeling comfortable with each other, etc.   The poor girl should preserve her own dignity at this point and treat him as a platonic friend, not even doing the kisses and stuff.  Sadly, if she turned cold on him, he'd probably pursue her harder. 

This is the classic pursuer-distancer dynamic., which normally starts to evolve at least a couple of years or longer into a relationship. But to have it happening to this degree, and never having sex, at the very beginning, indicates that these two are not a match. Its a feature not a bug.

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3 hours ago, Empress1 said:

She already knows that he’s not attracted to her and I’m not sure what would be gained by her hearing, like, “your acne turns me off.”

Thus, she needs to stop begging for sex. It’s demeaning.

If she asked him and he told her what is turning him off, at least she’d know and stop hounding him about having sex. Becca is making a fool of herself. I’m an older woman and one thing I have to laugh about it that these women all believe, “I’m strong! I’m empowered! I’m independent!” yet they’ll collapse into the fetal position if a man tells them that he isn’t attracted to her body type or that he’s just not that into her. Not everyone is going to love your looks or demeanor, ladies! So what? That’s okay. It doesn’t make you a bad person or not worthy of love. 

If Becca was very attractive and Austin was a fat schlub with bad acne and smelled, she probably wouldn’t want to have sex with him. He might be a nice guy, very sweet and caring, but she still wouldn’t consider having a physical relationship with him. Best to acknowledge it and move on.

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On 2/18/2024 at 1:03 AM, Yeah No said:

Now I could be wrong, but I think the arm injury happened when she fell off the bike but they only focused on that very briefly in one clip flashing by the screen.

 

I hear you, I'm one of those myself so it's like chalk on a blackboard when I see some of these trainwreck outfits that Michael in particular has worn on this show.  It's not even what he wears as much as how he puts it together (although in his case what he wears is often an issue too).  I think he thinks he's being edgy and stylish but not in my opinion.  At least if you're going to go for a look, get it right!  To me it looks like he's trying too hard and putting every out-there look into one outfit just to make sure he's getting it right.  And it's overkill, IMO.  I have even suspected at times that he was put up to that by the show to make for more drama between him and Chloe.  I have also suspected that some of these looks of his are what he used to wear when he was younger in California but really doesn't wear so much anymore, especially not all at the same time!  Many of his looks are THAT caricature-like to me!  

Another reason I'm not completely buying it is that he seems far more mature and conventional in his personality to be wearing all that in just the way he does.  It doesn't jibe with his overall temperament.  If he were 10 years younger and seemed more unconventional maybe I would buy it.  Not that it's impossible for someone's look to be that different than their personality might suggest, but in his case I'm somehow not buying it.  He also seems to be pushing that angle with Chloe, making mention of wanting to wear her jewelry, etc.  It just seems so forced and fake like the show is putting him up to it.  I've been watching this show for a long time and this is tripping my BS meter BIG TIME!

P.S.  The way he has been dressing on the Afterparty does seem more in line with his personality so I believe that's the real him nowadays, not the one we saw on the show.

     Such great points! His outfits really are overkill and it's as if he raided his closet and thought, "How over the top can I look?!" He's throwing it all together without any theme to his outfit and it is a hodge podge of all of these pieces that don't really go together.  His personality is laid back and very put together, yet his outfits are eclectic and all over the place- it's an odd juxtaposition. 

   I wonder what he dressed like in high school or middle school.  Do you think he's really wild about women's jewelry? He did seem really excited about Chloe's huge pearl necklace and her earrings.  I think you're right- and if producers can egg on Michael to dress a certain way, can they get Austin to take off those hats?!  I wonder- who has more hats- 90 Day Fiancé Gino or Austin? 😅

Edited by Hip-to-be-Square
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14 hours ago, ChristmasJones said:

This is the classic pursuer-distancer dynamic., which normally starts to evolve at least a couple of years or longer into a relationship. But to have it happening to this degree, and never having sex, at the very beginning, indicates that these two are not a match. Its a feature not a bug.

Oh I love you!  I thought I was the only person on the planet who remembered the distancer-pursuer dynamic!  I go back over 35 years with that!  It has helped me to understand all kinds of relationships so much better!  I wish everyone knew about it.  For sure Becca is only pushing Austin away with her behavior and should stop to retain any dignity at all, but in her defense he is leading her on big time so it's at least somewhat understandable.  I refuse to give into seeing this as primarily her problem for not reacting well when Austin is clearly the person where the problem originates.

13 hours ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

Thus, she needs to stop begging for sex. It’s demeaning.

If she asked him and he told her what is turning him off, at least she’d know and stop hounding him about having sex. Becca is making a fool of herself. I’m an older woman and one thing I have to laugh about it that these women all believe, “I’m strong! I’m empowered! I’m independent!” yet they’ll collapse into the fetal position if a man tells them that he isn’t attracted to her body type or that he’s just not that into her. Not everyone is going to love your looks or demeanor, ladies! So what? That’s okay. It doesn’t make you a bad person or not worthy of love. 

I agree with you as an older woman myself, and I often have to laugh at these young women that think of themselves as so empowered and independent not being able to walk that walk.  But a lot of this falls under the category of "hindsight is perfect vision" because I don't know how well I would have handled that same situation when I was Becca's age.  Now I would have no problem just asking him point blank what his problem is and distancing from him somewhat until he figured it out.  But at 32 with a guy leading me on big time like he's doing to her, I don't know.  That's a tough situation for any young woman, especially in that very unique situation of having just gotten married and being together only a month or so and the guy being all lovey dovey in the same bed and telling me it's going to happen soon and all that BS.  All of that makes me go a little easier on Becca.  It still pains me to see her make a fool of herself, though.

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4 hours ago, Hip-to-be-Square said:

   I wonder what he dressed like in high school or middle school.  Do you think he's really wild about women's jewelry? He did seem really excited about Chloe's huge pearl necklace and her earrings.  I think you're right- and if producers can egg on Michael to dress a certain way, can they get Austin to take off those hats?!  I wonder- who has more hats- 90 Day Fiancé Gino or Austin? 😅

I don't watch 90 Day but you reminded me of Woody from this show's New Orleans season.  He had a lot of flamboyant clothing including hats, but in his case I felt he was very much in character with his outfits and at least they coordinated and went with his unique personality.  Nothing about him felt forced or fake and I even liked what he wore a lot of the time even though it wasn't my personal taste.  I don't know if Michael is really into women's jewelry to the extent of wanting to wear that ginormous fake pearl necklace of Chloe's.  I suppose anything is possible, but it's so OTT and feels so forced I'm not really buying it.

Where Austin is concerned I do wonder if he's being put up to wearing that stupid backwards cap 24/7 by the show.  I can't believe that he would actually wear that in bed and in all those situations unless he was trying to hide a bald spot or something, which clearly he doesn't have.  The way Lauren was kidding around about his look on the Afterparty also made me suspicious that he was put up to looking like that.  It reminds me of "MasterChef" where production makes them wear one look for the entire season that is more of a caricature than for real.  One woman had a big flower on her headband all season that looked ridiculous.  Others wore huge red eyeglasses or other annoying and ridiculous things.  Meanwhile they looked completely different on their social media pages.  Production can make them do stupid things like that on these so-called "reality" shows.  This show is looking at "reality" in the rear view mirror!

Edited by Yeah No
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6 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I don't watch 90 Day but you reminded me of Woody from this show's New Orleans season.  He had a lot of flamboyant clothing including hats, but in his case I felt he was very much in character with his outfits and at least they coordinated and went with his unique personality.  Nothing about him felt forced or fake and I even liked what he wore a lot of the time even though it wasn't my personal taste.  I don't know if Michael is really into women's jewelry to the extent of wanting to wear that ginormous fake pearl necklace of Chloe's.  I suppose anything is possible, but it's so OTT and feels so forced I'm not really buying it.

Where Austin is concerned I do wonder if he's being put up to wearing that stupid backwards cap 24/7 by the show.  I can't believe that he would actually wear that in bed and in all those situations unless he was trying to hide a bald spot or something, which clearly he doesn't have.  The way Lauren was kidding around about his look on the Afterparty also made me suspicious that he was put up to looking like that.  It reminds me of "MasterChef" where production makes them wear one look for the entire season that is more of a caricature than for real.  One woman had a big flower on her headband all season that looked ridiculous.  Others wore huge red eyeglasses or other annoying and ridiculous things.  Meanwhile they looked completely different on their social media pages.  Production can make them do stupid things like that on these so-called "reality" shows.  This show is looking at "reality" in the rear view mirror!

     I remember Woody!  In his case, the flamboyant and over the top outfits definitely matched who he was/is- they weren't my taste at all, but he owned his personality that went with his look.  I think with Michael, he is a wacky dresser, but its slightly more toned down on the After Party- but he still wears those horrible amber colored huge glasses on the After Party and super bold royal blue outfits and so I don't really know what to make of him.  His tattoos are real and those are over the top, his eyebrows have intentionally shaved striped cuts into them which are an attempt to look edgy.  Whether this look came about before the show or during the show, it's not doing him any favors in winning over a lady in this series. 

   You are so right about Master Chef too! The people are complete caricatures of themselves and if there's a Southern lady, they make her play up that accent to the absolute max! I'm laughing out loud about your spot-on descriptions of the props like the big red flower and the huge red glasses on Master Chef- so true! 😆🙌💯

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9 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Oh I love you!  I thought I was the only person on the planet who remembered the distancer-pursuer dynamic!  I go back over 35 years with that!  It has helped me to understand all kinds of relationships so much better!  I wish everyone knew about it.  For sure Becca is only pushing Austin away with her behavior and should stop to retain any dignity at all, but in her defense he is leading her on big time so it's at least somewhat understandable.  I refuse to give into seeing this as primarily her problem for not reacting well when Austin is clearly the person where the problem originates.

At this point I blame the experts and producers. Prison Brides have a better track record of success than they guys.

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On 2/18/2024 at 10:15 AM, Empress1 said:

I wouldn’t ask this. Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answer to and all that. She already knows he’s not attracted to her, and I’m not sure what would be gained by her hearing, like, “your acne turns me off.” 

 

On 2/18/2024 at 2:29 PM, Auntie Anxiety said:

Thus, she needs to stop begging for sex. It’s demeaning.

This!  How about things like, "I'd like you to flirt with me at 10 pm this evening" - she SHOULD understand that he's not attracted to her, but why is she not getting it?  Is it because MAFS is enticing her to behave this way for their show, or is it because he keeps acting like it will happen any second if she JUST plays her cards right?

19 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I don't watch 90 Day but you reminded me of Woody from this show's New Orleans season.  He had a lot of flamboyant clothing including hats, but in his case I felt he was very much in character with his outfits and at least they coordinated and went with his unique personality.

Woody was a funkily well-dressed man - not my style either, but I'd use the word "dapper" for him!  Michael just seems to want to be known as a weirdo, and while he's allowed to to whatever he thinks is cool, I - and most women - are not cool with that 😄

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11 hours ago, Gator Stud said:

At this point I blame the experts and producers. Prison Brides have a better track record of success than they guys.

I am obsessed with Prison Brides 🙌😄💯! Its reality trash TV gold 🥇! These women are leaving vacation destinations around the world to be with these prisoners who write misspelled love notes in crayons 🥴😅

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48 minutes ago, princelina said:

This!  How about things like, "I'd like you to flirt with me at 10 pm this evening" - she SHOULD understand that he's not attracted to her, but why is she not getting it?  Is it because MAFS is enticing her to behave this way for their show, or is it because he keeps acting like it will happen any second if she JUST plays her cards right?

I think it's the latter option.  He makes her think he finds her attractive and wants to be with her, snuggles with her, sleeps in the same bed with her, makes out with her, even acts like he's crazy about her, but then leaves her in the lurch after he's gotten her all hot and bothered by saying "it just has to be the right time", which never happens.  He is constantly reeling her in on the hook and then never following through.  He should understand that that kind of behavior on a regular basis is maddening.  A man would call a woman who did that a "cock tease".  And then to act like she's to blame for him not feeling right about having sex because she's coming on too strong is like blaming the victim in my opinion.

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