S05.E06: Going Home

[Whimsy]

Quote

What was meant to be a dreamy vacation might be a deal-breaking disaster for one couple. In Houston, meetings with family and friends raise questions.

Original airdate 9/29/23 

[Irlandesa]

Thank goodness Taylor decided to end things with JP.  Holy red flags, batman.  He basically didn't talk to her for three days because he was mad about her MAKE-UP?  I get preferring the natural look.  I think she's prettier without makeup too.  But the first time seeing one another is on a stage with TV lights.  Of course she's going to get dolled up and maybe even wear more makeup than she normally would. 

And then him acting like she should be grateful that he said he rather she didn't wear makeup because 99% of women would love it if a man said that to them.  I'm someone who hates makeup. I never wear it.  But there's no way in hell I would accept what he said.  There's a way to say express a preference for little makeup without shaming her for when she does wear it.

I loved Stacey out and out calling him a "good old boy" as soon as they met.

Lydia and Milton looking into the microscope, are little times I think they might actually work.  But then I remember he's 24.  And unlike his friend, I actually don't think him speeding through school means he's more mature. 

[DearEvette]

JP legit creeped me out this episode. Taylor is doing all this emotional heavy lifting and he is smiling like some damned serial killer. So glad she left him. The make up thing -- no words.  When he was talking and she just said 'Nope, nope, nope.'  That was her literally noping out. I believe she made her decision to jet right then for real.

The scene in Milton's apartment was the only time I think I actually belly laughed during this whole franchise.  Lydia's reaction to his rugs,  the Playboy magazines, the stack of dollar bills, his roommate, The Pokemon conversation-- comedy gold. Milton is a funny guy and he and his roommate giving daps of approval and agreement whenever one co-signed the other was great.

[Starlight925]

Milton is the best guy ever.  And I adore his roommate.  I live in Houston.  Wish I knew some 20-something great gals to introduce him to.

Agree with you all....re:  the makeup thing with JP.  Wow, what a jerky way to say something.  He could have said she was so pretty naturally, that she doesn't need the makeup.  But calling her fake right from the start, saying that that's why he was awkward and quiet, because he thought she was being fake with her "goopy eyelashes"???

And as hurt as she was, he kept. On. Going.  

So he literally says like 3 words in all of Cancun, because he thought she had too much makeup on at the Reveal.  Wow.  OK JP, you got me....now I have no words.

[Snapdragon]

I get JP not being into the whole tiktok makeup look that Taylor was sporting but OMG, there were so many more tactful ways to go about expressing that.  Instead of saying her makeup looked horrible, he should have emphasized how pretty she looked without makeup and said (in a nice, non-judgmental tone), "Why were you even wearing all that makeup?  You're so pretty that you don't need it."  The fact that he basically stopped talking to her because of her makeup is bonkers.  Who does that?  I feel like the issues he had with his mom growing up have really left him with some messed up views of women (or at the very least, some unconscious misogyny).  It's one thing to have a preference but to demand that your partner cater to that preference (especially one that deals with how they look), is insane.  And how on earth did Taylor not bring up JP's plethora of patriotic clothing when he insulted her makeup?  My husband kept referring to him as Captain America, since he only seems to wear red, white and blue.

[NeenerNeener]

6 hours ago, Snapdragon said:

I get JP not being into the whole tiktok makeup look that Taylor was sporting but OMG, there were so many more tactful ways to go about expressing that.

I think you've hit on why JP, Uche and Izzy were still single at the time this was filmed. They're all suffering from foot-in-mouth disease.

[SoMuchTV]

8 hours ago, Snapdragon said:

I get JP not being into the whole tiktok makeup look that Taylor was sporting but OMG, there were so many more tactful ways to go about expressing that.  Instead of saying her makeup looked horrible, he should have emphasized how pretty she looked without makeup and said (in a nice, non-judgmental tone), "Why were you even wearing all that makeup?  You're so pretty that you don't need it."  The fact that he basically stopped talking to her because of her makeup is bonkers.  Who does that?  I feel like the issues he had with his mom growing up have really left him with some messed up views of women (or at the very least, some unconscious misogyny).  It's one thing to have a preference but to demand that your partner cater to that preference (especially one that deals with how they look), is insane.  And how on earth did Taylor not bring up JP's plethora of patriotic clothing when he insulted her makeup?  My husband kept referring to him as Captain America, since he only seems to wear red, white and blue.

My goodness, yes.  I was considering posting the same thing.  JP, ever heard of a compliment sandwich?

[LuvMyShows]

So I swear I heard one of the girls talking to Taylor at one point, and said something about JT being a player.  Does anyone else remember that?  And holy hell, if JP is a player, then it must be at something like D&D or WoW!

[Cornhusker12]

On 9/29/2023 at 11:19 PM, DearEvette said:

The scene in Milton's apartment was the only time I think I actually belly laughed during this whole franchise.  Lydia's reaction to his rugs,  the Playboy magazines, the stack of dollar bills, his roommate, The Pokemon conversation-- comedy gold. Milton is a funny guy and he and his roommate giving daps of approval and agreement whenever one co-signed the other was great.

Agree! I want a Milton + Josh spin off. They were cracking me up for some reason haha.

[Empress1]

On 9/30/2023 at 7:46 PM, Starlight925 said:

Agree with you all....re:  the makeup thing with JP.  Wow, what a jerky way to say something.  He could have said she was so pretty naturally, that she doesn't need the makeup.  But calling her fake right from the start, saying that that's why he was awkward and quiet, because he thought she was being fake with her "goopy eyelashes"???

Yeah. He wasn’t saying “you’re beautiful without it but you do you,” he was forbidding her from wearing it, which is gross. I’m on the record as thinking she looks better without it and/or with less of it, but she’s an adult and as she says, if she wants to wear makeup, she’s gonna wear makeup. He doesn’t get to tell her she can’t.

On 10/2/2023 at 5:54 PM, LuvMyShows said:

So I swear I heard one of the girls talking to Taylor at one point, and said something about JT being a player.  Does anyone else remember that?  And holy hell, if JP is a player, then it must be at something like D&D or WoW!

I can see him being very popular with a certain kind of woman. The fireman/good ol’ boy thing is very appealing to some.

I just realized I don’t know what Izzy is short for.

”I could pawn [the ring] and buy a few more rugs.” I fell out! Milton is funny. He and his roommate are adorable nerds, and their friendship is very sweet.

Izzy and Stacy’s money conversation was interesting. 50/50 on a mortgage for a home he has no equity in (right, since it’s a premarital asset?) doesn’t seem like a good deal for him. Neither does Izzy footing the bill for all their entertainment.

[SoMuchTV]

On 10/3/2023 at 9:55 PM, Empress1 said:

I just realized I don’t know what Izzy is short for.

I'm pretty sure at one point he said it was for Ishmael.

Actually in a later episode

Spoiler

we see their marriage license and it’s Ismael. So I was close. 

 

Edited October 6, 2023 by SoMuchTV
Adding info from a later episode but you could barely call it a spoiler

[tumamita]

HOLY walking red flag JP. There should have been a trigger warning on this episode. It was hard to watch. Telling your partner that they're beautiful and don't need all this extra stuff is one thing. Telling your partner to continue wearing makeup (while clearly you don't even mean that) and then following up by being highly immature and passive aggressive... what is wrong with this man? My body, my choice - think he missed that memo. 

This was literally how my last relationship (that was horrible with control, jealousy and insecurity from the guy) started. It seems fine when it starts. If a man (or anyone) is speaking to you in this manner THIS EARLY, it will only go to hell from here. Quite literally. 

[mirandroid]

Oof JP. He gave me creep vibes before the makeup conversation and then barf vibes after. I kept waiting for him to jump up and excuse himself because he had to return some videotapes. 😬

[HerkyJerky]

, Totally agree about JP! But I am curious, after hours and hours and hours of talking didn’t Taylor get any sort of creeper vibe or male chauvinist vibe or controlling vibe at all? Or did she choose to overlook it because everything else lined up with what she wanted?

[TwirlyGirly]

I'd never watched Love is Blind and started by bingeing S5 today. I hadn't felt strongly enough about any episode until this one and what I'm going to refer to as MakeupGate.

Taylor used a lot more restraint than I would have. As soon as I realized where JP was going with the makeup shaming, I would have said "Nope. My personal style is a reflection of who I am; not who you or anyone else wishes I were." Then I would have left. 

Makeup, just like hairstyle/color, clothing, jewelry, footwear, other accessories, tattoos, piercings, facial hair (for men), etc. are all parts of one's personal style.

Personal style is how we express on the outside the way we see ourselves on the inside.

Choosing not to wear any makeup is a personal style choice. Choosing to wear makeup — occasionally or every day, a little or a lot, or using one's face as a canvas for artistic expression — are all valid personal style choices.

I wear makeup. It's part of my personal style. I have friends who wear makeup, and friends who do not. 

Not once have I ever told a woman who doesn't wear makeup that she'd be much prettier if she wore it. But there are both women and men who think it's perfectly acceptable to tell a woman who wears makeup she's prettier without it if you say it nicely.

It's not, because what you're really saying is:

"The way you see yourself isn't attractive to me. But if you substitute my preferences for yours you'll be much prettier."

Sure, there are guys who prefer "naturally beautiful" women. They're free to try and find one that thinks they're attractive, too. But don't take a woman who's already "fully formed" (i.e., any woman age 18 or older) thinking she's a D.I.Y. project who will be just perfect once you've tweaked her to your liking. 

Oh, and about those "naturally beautiful" women? Fun fact: many of them are wearing a helluva lot of makeup. The "natural look" frequently requires more makeup and more time to apply it than makeup that's obvious. 

JP (and other men like him) are entitled to prefer women who don't wear makeup. They're not entitled to ask a women who chooses to wear makeup as part of their personal style not to wear it — or request she change any aspect of her personal style unless she specifically asks his preferences. 

[HerkyJerky]

TG, LOVE your post!  I assume it works both ways?  As a man, we should never hear our partner say, "You're wearing THAT?" or "We need to take you shopping!", right?

[TwirlyGirly]

1 hour ago, HerkyJerky said:

TG, LOVE your post!  I assume it works both ways?  As a man, we should never hear our partner say, "You're wearing THAT?" or "We need to take you shopping!", right?

Absolutely.

A lot of men would respond to a woman they're dating who tells them they have to change an aspect of their personal style — to be attractive to them — to get lost; there are plenty of women who already think they're attractive (or who care more about substance than the superficial).

And men who do change their appearance according to the demands of someone they're dating is likely to be told by their bros they're "_____ whipped" (fill in the blank with the slang term for a certain female body part) ... 😂

You know, I'd pay to see JP's reaction if Taylor said to him:

"I understand how you feel, JP, because I'm attracted to guys who have long, dark, curly hair. So here's what we can do; as soon as you've grown your hair long, had it permed and dyed dark brown, I'll stop wearing makeup. Deal?"

[JH Lipton]

On 10/9/2023 at 9:06 PM, TwirlyGirly said:

Oh, and about those "naturally beautiful" women? Fun fact: many of them are wearing a helluva lot of makeup. The "natural look" frequently requires more makeup and more time to apply it than makeup that's obvious. 

Kind of on the lines of the Dolly Parton quote "It takes a lot of money to look this cheap!" 

[Lindz]

How fortunate for Taylor that JP acted a damn fool & said that stupid stuff so soon! Clearly, he didn't want it to work because who would think someone would continue after days of crumbs?!!! I would've been out that first night!!! Looks like another conversation they should've had in the pods. If he felt so strongly about it, he should've brought it up.

[Lindz]

Aaliyah's telling Uche she'd marry him?!?!!! Oh HELL NAW!!!! NO BACKSIES!!!

[Jax7917]

Only half way through this episode but holy moly, JP is scary. He really gives me the creeps. 

I do think Taylor looks much better without makeup but the way he was going off about it was really odd. He couldn't get past the reveal for 3-4 days because she was wearing too much makeup? lol. They've been out of the pods for a while. Time to move on. Taylor was giving that conversation more time and energy than I would have. I would have run for the hills (or ocean.)