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S02.E09: Angel Nude Cake


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The deck team tries to recover after a mishap with the captain; a new stew joins the crew and instantly makes waves; the chef turns one of the guests into a work of art; during a night out, a hookup ignites jealousy.

Airdate: 08.14.2023

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Like a viewer who’s learnt to ignore the cliffhanger drama from the previous episode because they all turn out to be a damp squib, these comments are in the order of episode scenes broadcast (Ep 9).

Sure enough, after some difficulty with the controls and understanding of “fast” and “slow” speeds, the Tender is docked and the drama is over.  “It could have been serious.”  Yeah, well, so could have the whole bloody series.

OMG, not another one of these full body “use as a plate” things.  It was bad enough they did that with Gary just a few weeks ago, now we have it again?  Well, thanks Bravo for helping me keep to me New Years resolution to slim, because that whole thing is just nauseating.

Sorry, Ja-Wow, not buying your history of vulnerability.

How many times do we have to see Aesha helping Jason with his contacts?  Get a room/cabin!

Cheers, Harry, for trying to impress Margot.  But after all that… she’s just not that into you.  And thanks for sharing that with everyone.

And there we go, off to the clubs and lessons not learnt, as if no one has seen the last couple of episodes.

What will happen next week?  Who are we kidding… pretty much lather, rinse, repeat.

 

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I'm torn on these guests. On the one hand they are so extra. On the other hand, they are also so nice and appreciative. And 20K is the highest tip the crew has gotten all season.

Did Margot say she has never flossed? Ew. Maybe it's actually a lucky thing for Harry that he's so damn awkward. 

I get that Aesha hates Joao. For good reason. But telling Tzarina she's acting like she wants his dick was out of line. 

Joao's hair is so dumb looking. He looks like Butters from South Park.

image.thumb.png.2522f02c4ae36d2f51b6c77a2f06eb77.png

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"There is a difference between getting through it and sucking his dick"

I mean... truer words have never been spoken.

Margot is just not into Harry which is a shame because he seems pretty perfect. I'm guessing she thinks she deserves the bad guys and it turns her on so Harry with all his niceness is just too boring for her.

New girl is stealing Tsarinas man, whatever will she do?

ETA: Culver is acting like a dog when he has been expressing interest in Tsarina. I really should have put the onus on Culver first, looks like he was leading Tsarina on. Jaimee did know about Cheffy's interest but it's still on Culver.

Edited by Arynm
Culver is in the wrong too
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The racy guests were annoying me, they were not that shocking, I think they wanted to shock the crew but did not succeed. The odd thing was the dessert bar on the primary guest, it was the crew standing around gawking and Aesha taking photos, so awkward and cringy.

It is my belief that anyone that says they will be having an all night orgies have very few all night orgies. 

The guests were nice enough and they tipped well but we all know they were on the show to promote themselves, they have an all access video thing that shows what happened behind closed doors on the boat so we all know everything was performative.  I did hear the primary say something about being sad to leave the boat and returning to eating mac and cheese out of a pot, lol. 

The boat gets some damage from loading the tender on deck and all Culver gets is the mirror ball helmet? 

Tzarina's look when JWow came on the boat seemed legit like she had no idea he was going to be the new Bosun, could it have really been a surprise?

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18 minutes ago, Arynm said:

"There is a difference between getting through it and sucking his dick"

I mean... truer words have never been spoken.

Margot is just not into Harry which is a shame because he seems pretty perfect. I'm guessing she thinks she deserves the bad guys and it turns her on so Harry with all his niceness is just too boring for her.

New girl is stealing Tsarinas man, whatever will she do?

Tzarina likes Jason, then she likes Culver, then she likes the female porn guest.

Maybe she likes Joao too, certainly flirting with him.

Margot on the other hand doesn't feel a tingle down there when her and Harry's tongue's touch, as Aesha put it.

Does it take that kind of kiss to be able to tell?  I'm guessing Margot knew already.

15 minutes ago, TexasGal said:

Not a good look Culver.  Boo on you!  And Tzarina, please be sure to direct most of your ire his way and not at the new girl or else I'm gonna be disappointed at you.

Jaime and Tzarina just met so no girl code.  But maybe for the sake of peace at the office, she wouldn't go there?

Yes Culver is definitely at fault but Jaime isn't innocent either.

Wow the casting people sure knows how to find them, get them on the ship, give them some drinks and they're not wasting any time before making out.

Even Adam is getting in on it.  He likes this Laura, her personal shower.

The whole crew seemed to be into the body desert thing, all were filming with their phones.  

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This week on the Northwestern....  at least they don't have to break ice off the railings.

Jason - It's not that hard to learn how to put your own contact lenses in!

How does a guy from Zimbabwe get a Portuguese name anyway?

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Well, we knew it was coming from the previews- Culver dropped Tzarina like a hot potato and went after the sexy new stew.  Don't worry, Cheffy, he'll still be fawning over your food, so you've always got that.  

I do feel disappointed in Jaime's pursuit of Culver (and vice versa) because she was told that Tzarina had feelings for him.  She didn't have to make a bee-line to him, and of course, he did the same.  I don't think it will happen in a million years, but I would love to see Captain Jason show Cheffy a little affection; she would be over the moon!

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Was it Culver that kind of led Courtney on, making her believe they'd go on some van trip together after the first season of BDDU?

He didn't shut it down and she kept thinking that would happen, while Szi liked her?

Jamie is hot as everyone noticed but she seems quite a bit younger than Culver.  Maybe that's what he likes.

 

Edited by aghst
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6 hours ago, Arynm said:

Jaimee did know about Cheffy's interest but it's still on Culver.

It's hard to know how serious Aesha was being though when she said Tzardina already had dibs on him. She'd only just gotten there, she didn't know the history. That said, she was pretty forward with him for her first night out. 

35 minutes ago, Caseysgirl said:

I cannot understand why no one is even looking at Adam ( other than Laura who was using him to interest Luke).  He IS a little young & grumpy, I guess, but he’s pretty hot.

Assuming Adam is straight, I have to believe he had to go have a little "alone time" after he finished hosing down that naked porn star. I mean, that has to be a young guy's wet dream.

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1 hour ago, aghst said:

Was it Culver that kind of led Courtney on, making her believe they'd go on some van trip together after the first season of BDDU?

 

It was Brittiny that he friend zoned last season, although I think that his original stated interest in going on a van trip was probably an offhand remark that she took as a definite commitment because of her initial interest in him. 

Overall, though I remember him (although I may be wrong) as a somewhat goofy but decent person and worker last season. I think he's learned that he gets more camera time if he's a jerk. 

 

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8 hours ago, Baltimore Betty said:

The racy guests were annoying me, they were not that shocking, I think they wanted to shock the crew but did not succeed. The odd thing was the dessert bar on the primary guest, it was the crew standing around gawking and Aesha taking photos, so awkward and cringy.

I cannot agree with you more.  The painting of her body with warm chocolate seemed to be turning various people on.  The crew looked very uncomfortable and it was just too sexual.  I was uncomfortable for them.

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29 minutes ago, Zaffy said:

After reading @Tanukisan summaries I have no desire to watch any of these two episodes.

Aw, Zaffy, don't let me put you off.  Now I feel bad -- you're always so nice!  I just keep hoping to see boat people on boats doing boaty things, but I can't help commenting on the nature of some of the goings-on.  Just my personal style, your mileage may definitely vary.  🙂  I snark, therefore I am.  🙂

8 hours ago, meep.meep said:

This week on the Northwestern....  at least they don't have to break ice off the railings.

I see what you did there!  "Deadliest Catch", right?  Bravo!  The good kind, I mean.  🙂

Edited by Tanukisan
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41 minutes ago, Zaffy said:

After reading @Tanukisan summaries I have no desire to watch any of these two episodes. 
Will I miss something? Did they go to any nice place?

We criticize how obviously manipulative these shows are, how they go for the lowest common denominator.

However, there's no question that the BD show producers and Bravo are very effective at getting viewer engagement, which includes not just snark but people criticizing the cast, the producers and other elements of the show.

Look at the activity here.  And I'm sure on Twitter and other places, they get even more reactions.

Some viewers may be hate-watching but it's oddly compelling.  Just like you can't sometimes resist junk food, the same may be true of trash TV to a certain extent.

 

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1 hour ago, Tanukisan said:

Aw, Zaffy, don't let me put you off.  Now I feel bad -- you're always so nice!  I just keep hoping to see boat people on boats doing boaty things, but I can't help commenting on the nature of some of the goings-on.  Just my personal style, your mileage may definitely vary.  🙂  I snark, therefore I am. 

Plz, do not feel bad, you are the savior of my precious free time! 
Your personal style commenting is very much close to the actual thing! 

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Ok just putting this out there but does anyone think Laura Desiree might be trans? Not that there is anything wrong with that but it was something about her that seemed masculine for an instant or two, the over the top sexuality like that is how a lot of men think women think, if that makes sense that and her broad shoulders...I am the last one to make fun of or think badly about it but I was wondering if any of you thought so too.

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21 hours ago, Arynm said:

Margot is just not into Harry which is a shame because he seems pretty perfect.

Perfect?  Harry is a class A doofus with the sexual charisma of a puppy with absolutely no game.  He's the opposite of a panty-dropper, he's a panty-putter-oner.  He's gotta grow up and settle the fuck down.

14 hours ago, iMonrey said:

Assuming Adam is straight, I have to believe he had to go have a little "alone time" after he finished hosing down that naked porn star. I mean, that has to be a young guy's wet dream.

He did seem to be enjoying his job!

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2 hours ago, Baltimore Betty said:

 

Ok just putting this out there but does anyone think Laura Desiree might be trans? Not that there is anything wrong with that but it was something about her that seemed masculine for an instant or two, the over the top sexuality like that is how a lot of men think women think, if that makes sense that and her broad shoulders...I am the last one to make fun of or think badly about it but I was wondering if any of you thought so too.

 

Yes, now that you mention it the thought did cross my mind.

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2 hours ago, Baltimore Betty said:

Ok just putting this out there but does anyone think Laura Desiree might be trans?

Yes! There was one shot in particular that made it cross my mind. Can't remember exactly which one but I figured it was just my weird brain.

And speaking of which, after Aesha's loud exclamation of "She's GORRRRRRRGEOUS!!" while looking at Jaimee's resume, and then similar comments from others, I expected someone, you know, gorgeous. Which? Not so much. The other female crew are, IMO, much more attractive. But so far she seems nice.

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1 hour ago, sugarbaker design said:

Perfect?  Harry is a class A doofus with the sexual charisma of a puppy with absolutely no game.  He's the opposite of a panty-dropper, he's a panty-putter-oner.  He's gotta grow up and settle the fuck down.

He did seem to be enjoying his job!

Bolded needs a "don't read with coffee in your mouth" warning.  Nearly did a spit take!

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13 hours ago, Tanukisan said:

Aw, Zaffy, don't let me put you off.  Now I feel bad -- you're always so nice!  I just keep hoping to see boat people on boats doing boaty things, but I can't help commenting on the nature of some of the goings-on.  Just my personal style, your mileage may definitely vary.  🙂  I snark, therefore I am.  🙂

I see what you did there!  "Deadliest Catch", right?  Bravo!  The good kind, I mean.  🙂

I thought it was more a compliment of your summing up each episode than a complaint as it's always the first thing I look for.

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17 hours ago, rur said:

Overall, though I remember him (although I may be wrong) as a somewhat goofy but decent person and worker last season. I think he's learned that he gets more camera time if he's a jerk. 

Culver was pretty much a slacker as a deckhand. He had appointed himself "Entertainment Officer" and thought his job was to be goofy and entertain the guests, rather than clean the boat. He mostly annoyed Jason. There is always one deckhand who is there to "just have fun" and not work. Last season that was Culver. 

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7 hours ago, Baltimore Betty said:

Ok just putting this out there but does anyone think Laura Desiree might be trans? Not that there is anything wrong with that but it was something about her that seemed masculine for an instant or two, the over the top sexuality like that is how a lot of men think women think, if that makes sense that and her broad shoulders...I am the last one to make fun of or think badly about it but I was wondering if any of you thought so too.

Not at all.  I got the vibes of a woman with a more old school approach to sexuality...kind of using her feminine wiles to manipulate.  She gave others the cold shoulder and wouldn't even be pleasant  to them (Harry, Aesha) and was syrupy and over accommodating to those she wanted to influence.  Her goal was Luke, but she was happy to move on to Adam, when she thought Luke wasn't into her.  
 

Edit: I just realized I was thinking of the wrong Laura. Laura Desiree was the primary. Sorry for my confusing comment!!

Edited by SemiCharmedLife
Explanation
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13 minutes ago, SemiCharmedLife said:

Not at all.  I got the vibes of a woman with a more old school approach to sexuality...kind of using her feminine wiles to manipulate.  She gave others the cold shoulder and wouldn't even be pleasant  to them (Harry, Aesha) and was syrupy and over accommodating to those she wanted to influence.  Her goal was Luke, but she was happy to move on to Adam, when she thought Luke wasn't into her.  

I think you are confusing horrible stew Laura with Laura Desiree the charter guest.

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I can't help but wonder how Latvia Laura would have behaved with the porn guests. Would she have claimed to know a better way? or compare moaning skills? Would she have volunteered to prepare or be the dessert table?

I'm guessing she would have found a way to get in on the hose down by Adam.

 

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Laura seemed to be a good worker, willing to do housekeeping whenever asked.

She had a little thing about iced wines and lime juice with Aesha and the bigger problems were of course making the others wait and the sexual harassment.

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Back to the lime juice and the margaritas, I will always ask why the stews don't make a pitcher of the drink the guests are drinking especially margaritas, especially if Aesha is worried about how long it takes to make and serve the drinks, put the glasses in ice, make extra garnish and have that pitcher ready. The stews never seem to make a batch of any drink that is constantly being ordered, why not?

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On 8/16/2023 at 12:55 PM, tvfanatic13 said:

I preface this by saying that I am NOT a fan of Joao. But, at the other decks should feel a little stupid after seeing that he actually WAS working the whole time. 

I'm no Joao fan either but I do have to applaud him for sussing out Culver's laziness so quickly. It took Bosun Jamie almost the entire last charter season to see it, Then again, he was so focused on Benny. I've always found Culver obnoxious and irritating. Didn't he pretty much quit working the end of last season>

So what the hell is new Jaimee thinking?  She really is stunning so I'm going to have to go with camera time competitiveness with a dash of low self-esteem.

Anyone else think Captain Jason has a mad crush on Aesha?

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I have to say I think Harry is endearing, in a puppy-like sort of way. When he matures, if he calms down a bit, I think he's a dead ringer for Chris Noth.

Jaimee should not have made a move on Culver, if only because you don't make a move on the chef's boo. She has knives and is not afraid to use them!

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28 minutes ago, iMonrey said:

I don't think that makes you a prude. Just hygienic. 

They're porn stars, you think this is unhygienic ? Now eating food off Gary is unhygienic and disgusting as I'm sure he's been places that most porn stars wouldn't. 

Each to their own even if it is thought prudish by some, so what. 

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The stews should have worn Hazmat suits with black lights in hand to disinfect the body fluids left on the various cabin surfaces by the porn stars.

Extra bleach, extra hot water, double rinse cycles on the bedsheets and towels, please.

Aesha is Jason's work wifey, no different if they worked in a land office.

She's protective of him, like a sibling.

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On 8/15/2023 at 8:31 PM, Emmeline said:

The racy guests were annoying me, they were not that shocking, I think they wanted to shock the crew but did not succeed. The odd thing was the dessert bar on the primary guest, it was the crew standing around gawking and Aesha taking photos, so awkward and cringy.

Hahaha for porn stars they were pretty tame.  And very nice and appreciative of all the work the crew did to make their trip fun.  The nudity was a bit much but hey they are porn stars and comfortable naked.  If I looked like the primary, I would be naked a lot too. 

And I would take 10 charters of porn stars over ONE charter of entitled rich assholes.  

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On 8/21/2023 at 11:24 AM, humbleopinion said:

The stews should have worn Hazmat suits with black lights in hand to disinfect the body fluids left on the various cabin surfaces by the porn stars.

Extra bleach, extra hot water, double rinse cycles on the bedsheets and towels, please.

What makes you think they're any messier than the rest of us? Hm?

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On 8/15/2023 at 7:31 PM, Emmeline said:

I cannot agree with you more.  The painting of her body with warm chocolate seemed to be turning various people on.  The crew looked very uncomfortable and it was just too sexual.  I was uncomfortable for them.

That was really gross.  Totally uncomfortable.  I’m so not into the in-your-face pushy sexuality that group brought.  
 

On 8/16/2023 at 5:40 AM, Baltimore Betty said:

Ok just putting this out there but does anyone think Laura Desiree might be trans? Not that there is anything wrong with that but it was something about her that seemed masculine for an instant or two, the over the top sexuality like that is how a lot of men think women think, if that makes sense that and her broad shoulders...I am the last one to make fun of or think badly about it but I was wondering if any of you thought so too.

10000000%  

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On 8/19/2023 at 6:26 AM, RoseAllDay said:

At the risk of sounding like a prude, I found the living dessert bullshit repulsive.

I'll bet that production had that idea and shopped it to Laura Desiree.  I believe a lot of the theme parties and activities are brought up by the producers and the guests agree to them.  

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On 8/16/2023 at 10:29 AM, Baltimore Betty said:

Back to the lime juice and the margaritas, I will always ask why the stews don't make a pitcher of the drink the guests are drinking especially margaritas, especially if Aesha is worried about how long it takes to make and serve the drinks, put the glasses in ice, make extra garnish and have that pitcher ready. The stews never seem to make a batch of any drink that is constantly being ordered, why not?

Agree, make a pitcher! Also, not a fan of Laura but she was not wrong about the fresh lime juice.

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1 hour ago, Jel said:

Agree, make a pitcher! Also, not a fan of Laura but she was not wrong about the fresh lime juice.

Even still, I would use a mix, make a pitcher and be done with it, those guests were not after quality so much as they were wanting quantity, add some cointreau and they'd never know the difference.

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