Manzo'd With Children - General Discussion

[ginger90]

 It looks like 'Product of Nicaragua' then a 'code' and a bunch of numbers.

 

Thank you!

That's strange to me. Oh well, I thought perhaps they were quotes worth noting or something.

[HumblePi]

Thank you!

That's strange to me. Oh well, I thought perhaps they were quotes worth noting or something.

Oh you mean like a wise or very old sprinkle of wisdom in their dining area?  Muah-ha-ha-ha-ha, ewkay then.

[The Solution]

 

I would have been happier if Bravo hastily put together a quickie spinoff "Milania Takes Over" (sort of a Tabitha Takes Over) only with Milania Giudice as the superstar. I'd tune in to watching Milania displaying full on out-of-control brattiness and general 8 year old fucknuttery before I'd ever watch another episode of the Manzo's

 

Please please please let this happen!!! Someone's got to bring home the bacon for the Giudice family now.

[JerseyGirl]

The People's Couch snarks on the Manzo'd episode:  http://www.thewrap.com/the-peoples-couch-weighs-in-on-manzod-with-children-premiere-exclusive-video/

[Kitla]

 

warning: should be clicked only by the strong of stomach, once seen cannot be unseen

 

http://www.realitytea.com/2014/10/06/caroline-manzo-excited-rhonj-fans-see-different-side-manzod-with-children/

 

My God, that's terrifying!

[ethalfrida]

OMG, OMG, OMG I looked! After being warned, I looked!!!!!! Didn't stay long but .....

[Persnickety1]

Eight episodes in total already in the can, two of them aired. Six more to go. I think Bravo should just run those six remaining episodes back to back starting at 7 a.m. on Saturday, cartoon day for kiddies, and just get them over with. Hand the Manzo's the check, brush their hands and say 'done deal, bye bye'.

 

 

I would have been happier if Bravo hastily put together a quickie spinoff "Milania Takes Over" (sort of a Tabitha Takes Over) only with Milania Giudice as the superstar. I'd tune in to watching Milania displaying full on out-of-control brattiness and general 8 year old fucknuttery before I'd ever watch another episode of the Manzo's

 

That GIF is UH-mazing and I'm totally stealing it to slap up in various ridiculous threads in my news feed.  

 

I'm predicting right now that next week, when Bravo hopefully does not blackmail us into watching this fuck-and-awe piece o'shit as part of RHONJ, the ratings on this as a stand-alone show are going to have a very noticeable drop in ratings.

 

And I totally agree with the poster up thread...Just marathon this abomination and get it the fuck off of the schedule.  

 

They can give Caroline a new set of dish rags for counter wiping as a parting gift.  

[nyxy]

Ratings were high, y'all. 1.6 million and 1.5 million. Looks like bravo's skanky strategy of tricking viewers into recording it paid off big time.

 

That's just. not. right.  It's not right.

 

So if we made a list of the worst dreck bravo has produced,and ranked each entry, where would you put this show?  It'll be near the top for me (competing with Patty Stanger's millionaire matchmaker).

[Persnickety1]

Ratings were high, y'all. 1.6 million and 1.5 million. Looks like bravo's skanky strategy of tricking viewers into recording it paid off big time.

 

That's just. not. right.  It's not right.

 

So if we made a list of the worst dreck bravo has produced,and ranked each entry, where would you put this show?  It'll be near the top for me (competing with Patty Stanger's millionaire matchmaker).

 

I'd put it square in the middle of my #1 worst, Millionaire Matchmaker, and my #3, Courtney Loves Dallas.

 

Like with the Manzos, I am absolutely flabbergasted about why Andy felt he needed to give Courtney her own spin-off after that godforsaken (but snarkalicious) Most Eligible Dallas.  

 

It's like he finds these creatures entertaining for some reason and foists them onto the viewers, thinking we should like them too and enjoy their antics.

 

I think he's given the Manzo tribe more breaks than anybody, what with all the camera time on RHONJ, giving the boys that godawful ridiculous "Boys to Manzo" as a web series, and now he trots out this piece o'shit like a bright and shiny new coin we should all be enthralled with.

 

What's next?  "Life with Lauren"?  "Lauren Manzo:  Armpits and Botox"?  "Like Mother, Like Daughter:  The Caroline and Lauren Show"?  

 

Ye gads.  

 

Andy, if you read these boards, please have all of the Manzos take one gigantic seat and let them drift off into oblivion.  No reasonable person finds these chucklefucks entertaining in the least....Except YOU.  

[MyAimIsTrue]

I think he's given the Manzo tribe more breaks than anybody, what with all the camera time on RHONJ, giving the boys that godawful ridiculous "Boys to Manzo" as a web series, and now he trots out this piece o'shit like a bright and shiny new coin we should all be enthralled with.

 

Let's not forget the time the Manzo boys appeared on 'Millionaire Matchmaker.'  Oy.

[bosawks]

Manzo'd With Children is the armpit of BRAVO.

[sleekandchic]

Let's not forget the time the Manzo boys appeared on 'Millionaire Matchmaker.'  Oy.

I did forget that! My brain must have gone into self-protective mode!

I just can't stand this family at all. Not one of them has a redeeming virtue. And I can't even stand the TITLE of this series! I guess it's an homage to the old sitcom, Married With Children? But come on! Aren't Albie Chris Lauren ashamed of themselves for allowing Bravo to infantilize their adult asses as "children?" When does it stop?

Between Manzo'd With Children and the former Boys to Manzo, I think Andy is really not as enamored as he pretends. There's something so insultingly sly under the surface about these shows.

Still, of course, there are the three losers making excellent money by being the three losers. Maddening! Those ratings are insane. Does Neilsen still count a household if it shuts off the show after five minutes? I can't believe millions of people really stuck with it. It was truly impossible to watch!

[twilightzone]

This family really interesting enough to be featured on their own show.  They were better off as part of ensemble on RHONJ.

[JerseyGirl]

My DVR automatically recorded it, even though the new episodes were supposed to come on at midnight.  I love all reality TV and this show just sucks, I don't think I've ever disliked a show more (ok, well, maybe Raising Asia since I bailed on that show after a few episodes).  The Manzo's show seemed so forced, I knew we were being fooled when Lauren walked into the kitchen with a small bag of chips, saying those were her favorite (after Caroline just told her sister she needed to diet).  I mean, come on, coincidence - I think not.  And the show is a fake, I guess they forgot to tell Albie, Lauren and Chris NOT to instagram pictures this summer from their Hoboken apartment or the boat they have docked somewhere around the Hudson River - because we are supposed to believe they are "moved back and are living at home".  Bullshit, they just show up for filming.

Here is next week's episode:

 

Chris and Albie attempt to open a lavish new restaurant at the Meadowlands Race Track, but quickly learn the space isn't big enough to accommodate their vision. Albie's new girlfriend, Brittany, meets the family for the first time, much to Caroline's disapproval. Albie and Lauren disagree over the direction of Albie's life. For a sneak peek at next week's episode, visit: http://www.bravotv.com/manzod-with-children/season-1/videos/albies-girlfriend-meets-the-manzos

 

 http://www.thefutoncritic.com/ratings/2014/10/07/man-oh-manzo-bravo-medias-manzod-with-children-back-to-back-premiere-episodes-averaged-over-16-million-total-viewers-877114/20141007bravo01/#wViIJVReeVOCD2VJ.99

[HumblePi]

My DVR automatically recorded it, even though the new episodes were supposed to come on at midnight.  I love all reality TV and this show just sucks, I don't think I've ever disliked a show more (ok, well, maybe Raising Asia since I bailed on that show after a few episodes).  The Manzo's show seemed so forced, I knew we were being fooled when Lauren walked into the kitchen with a small bag of chips, saying those were her favorite (after Caroline just told her sister she needed to diet).  I mean, come on, coincidence - I think not.  And the show is a fake, I guess they forgot to tell Albie, Lauren and Chris NOT to instagram pictures this summer from their Hoboken apartment or the boat they have docked somewhere around the Hudson River - because we are supposed to believe they are "moved back and are living at home".  Bullshit, they just show up for filming.

Here is next week's episode:

 

Chris and Albie attempt to open a lavish new restaurant at the Meadowlands Race Track, but quickly learn the space isn't big enough to accommodate their vision. Albie's new girlfriend, Brittany, meets the family for the first time, much to Caroline's disapproval. Albie and Lauren disagree over the direction of Albie's life. For a sneak peek at next week's episode, visit: http://www.bravotv.com/manzod-with-children/season-1/videos/albies-girlfriend-meets-the-manzos

 

 http://www.thefutoncritic.com/ratings/2014/10/07/man-oh-manzo-bravo-medias-manzod-with-children-back-to-back-premiere-episodes-averaged-over-16-million-total-viewers-877114/20141007bravo01/#wViIJVReeVOCD2VJ.99

A 'sneak peek' means that someone wants to see something really bad and they don't want to have to wait to see the thing they want to see but then there's a small video clip of this special thing and it gives them a little thrill about seeing a 30 second clip about the upcoming episode of that and it makes them want to see that show more than ever before. It's sort of letting a person smell their Delmonico steak an hour before they get to eat it, it makes their mouth water in anticipation.

 

I think I'll pass on the sneak thing because I don't intend to ever see this Manzo catastrophe ever again in my life.

Edited October 9, 2014 by HumblePi

[Ubiquitous]

I disliked Caroline the first time I heard her utter "Tick as teeves" and nothing has changed since. I have no intention of watching this show but want to her the mocking she so richly deserves.

 

Are they still trying to make BLK happen? Is it the least bit successful? I haven't seen it anywhere here in the south.

I see it at a Whole Foods type store in north Florida and it annoys the heck out of me knowing who makes it.

[Raiderred]

 

 

I'd put it square in the middle of my #1 worst, Millionaire Matchmaker, and my #3, Courtney Loves Dallas.

Like with the Manzos, I am absolutely flabbergasted about why Andy felt he needed to give Courtney her own spin-off after that godforsaken (but snarkalicious) Most Eligible Dallas.

Persnickety, those of us that live in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area are still lucky enough to be graced by Courtney on one of the radio stations here.  As soon as I hear that voice the channel changes. 

[Persnickety1]

Let's not forget the time the Manzo boys appeared on 'Millionaire Matchmaker.'  Oy.

 

And let me tell you, I was sitting there in all my bitchy glory hoping beyond hope that Prince Albie was going to pick that chick doing the tequila shots just to piss off Caroline so I could see her head explode.  

 

Too bad they both chose the girls who I've no doubt Mama Caroline picked for them.  

 

Boring, boring, boring.  

Persnickety, those of us that live in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area are still lucky enough to be graced by Courtney on one of the radio stations here.  As soon as I hear that voice the channel changes. 

 

Oy, my condolences.  

 

I also just realized that Courtney, like the Manzo boys, also appeared on an episode of that godawful Millionaire Matchmaker.

 

Apparently when Andy is determined to shove one of his favored participants down our collective throats, he likes to use Pimpin' Patti as his launching board.  

 

Lucky us.  *gag*

Edited October 9, 2014 by Persnickety1

[Giselle]

Didn't watch it, won't watch it, I just read everybody's snark. I guess Bravo was worried about their numbers and cooked the ratings books by deceiving their audience. That shows false confidence. Wish somebody would call out Andy on it.

 

Who the hell thought that we would want to see a mini me, sour-puss bitch with a sweat gland problem get her shots. How much money did Bravo throw at Glamour magazine to get that beast in an issue, you know it came out of the advertising budget.

 

You've got two grown men "moving back home"... Geeze does Caroline shake them dry after they pee? I never did and I still don't understand her dynamic with them. It's off. Just off.

 

And for Albie's benefit Greg showed up. Caroline's wet dream for a daughter.

 

Nope. Won't be watching.

[Persnickety1]

I think the backs of the chairs are coffee sacks, burlap.

As far as Manzo'd W Children? NOBODY CARES CAROLINE.

She will be wiping their counters and their asses for life.

she dotes on those bratty boys, they are little Princes. Lauren not so much? She doesn't miss an opportunity to mention what a fat loser her daughter is, she actually clapped this episode at the idea of Lauren moving out.

Caro's disdain for her own daughter and the 1 son and Lauren fighting over the gay BFF actually interests me. And laughing at the word Catface.

 

Anybody else remember her lovely comment to Lauren about Lauren being "Eight pounds of sausage stuffed into a five-pound bag?"

 

Seriously, who says something like that to their own daughter, especially when that daughter is struggling with self-esteem issues directly related to her weight?  

 

I thought that was without a doubt one of the turning points in my deciding that I truly loathed Caroline.

 

I loathe Lauren the Sloth as well, but damn....that sausage comment was just way below the belt, especially with those cameras rolling.  

Edited October 9, 2014 by Persnickety1

[Chrissytd]

 

What's next?  "Life with Lauren"?  "Lauren Manzo:  Armpits and Botox"?  "Like Mother, Like Daughter:  The Caroline and Lauren Show"?  

Lauren's wedding special, My Big Fat Italian Wedding? Cue eyeroll.

[nyxy]

LOL

 

Followed by an Investigative Discovery special starring Lauren & Vito: Who the Bleep Did I Marry

Edited October 9, 2014 by nyxy

[JerseyGirl]

She's not getting married until summer of 2015, hopefully, the Manzo's will be long gone from our TV screens by then.

[twilightzone]

Well, I think the show can generate some interest if Albie finally comes out of the closet and declare his secret love for Greg.

[bosawks]

Well, I think the show can generate some interest if Albie finally comes out of the closet and declare his secret love for Greg.

 

Wait, that's a secret.........

[ginger90]

Some of the Glamour pictures: http://www.glamour.com/weddings/blogs/save-the-date/2014/10/glamour-lauren-manzo-rhonj

I wonder if Caroline wishes she  dressed differently? Looks like she's going to fall off her shoes (are they HER shoes or did they give them to her for the picture?)

[Giselle]

Anybody else remember her lovely comment to Lauren about Lauren being "Eight pounds of sausage stuffed into a five-pound bag?"

 

Seriously, who says something like that to their own daughter, especially when that daughter is struggling with self-esteem issues directly related to her weight?  

 

I thought that was without a doubt one of the turning points in my deciding that I truly loathed Caroline.

 

I loathe Lauren the Sloth as well, but damn....that sausage comment was just way below the belt, especially with those cameras rolling.  

 

Well Caroline "Pot meet Kettle",  I've seen you stuff yourself in a few casings over the years.

 

I do believe if Caroline could have legally drowned her at birth because she was a girl she would have. Caroline is very misogynistic.

[Persnickety1]

Some of the Glamour pictures: http://www.glamour.com/weddings/blogs/save-the-date/2014/10/glamour-lauren-manzo-rhonj

I wonder if Caroline wishes she  dressed differently? Looks like she's going to fall off her shoes (are they HER shoes or did they give them to her for the picture?)

 

Yowza, are those pictures ever softened up and airbrushed.  

 

And despite all of her weight loss, poor Lauren still looks as heavy as ever in that shot with Caroline.  Not a flattering angle.

 

Seeing Caroline in those shoes reminds me of the scene in Devil Wears Prada where Andrea is given a pair of Jimmy Choos to stuff her feet into because her own footwear was unsuitable for the office.  

 

Maybe Caroline showed up in her mukluks and Glamour crammed her feet into a pair of Jimmy Choos to make her more presentable for the pictures.  

 

I'm still somewhat gobsmacked Lauren was even featured in this magazine.  Andy must be buddies with one of the higher up staff members.  That's all I can think of.  Lauren is about on about the lowest rung of the celebrity ladder as one can get.  Ugh.

Edited October 10, 2014 by Persnickety1

[ginger90]

I'm still somewhat gobsmacked Lauren was even featured in this magazine.  Andy must be buddies with one of the higher up staff members.  That's all I can think of.  Lauren is about on about the lowest rung of the celebrity ladder as one can get.  Ugh.

 

I have to agree, who made this happen?

I can sort of understand Caroline going to the shoot. But everyone else?

[nyxy]

My God, that's terrifying!

 

 

OMG, OMG, OMG I looked! After being warned, I looked!!!!!! Didn't stay long but .....

There, there, what doesn't break us makes us stronger. But now here's a qn for you & anyone who's seen the pic (of Big Al mauling Caro's chest in the guise of "weighing" them): 

 

did Caroline's face in that picture remind anyone of those dolls George's fiancee kept around in Seinfeld? They creep him out because it's the same doll face repeated over and over and that face looks just like his mother's. Could be a dead ringer of Caroline in this picture.

Edited October 10, 2014 by nyxy

[Giselle]

Some of the Glamour pictures: http://www.glamour.com/weddings/blogs/save-the-date/2014/10/glamour-lauren-manzo-rhonj

I wonder if Caroline wishes she  dressed differently? Looks like she's going to fall off her shoes (are they HER shoes or did they give them to her for the picture?)

 

If Caroline ever snaps an ankle can we put her down?

 

Sorry but those dresses did no favors for the one born with out a penis,  no favors at all. She's Al in a dress. The few people commenting are saying she looks beautiful. Must be Andy, her brothers, Greg and mom taking turns on the computer.

[zenme]

Pretty dresses. The one headshot of Lauren looks just like Al with a wig on.

[RealityGal]

 

 

Are they still trying to make BLK happen? Is it the least bit successful? I haven't seen it anywhere here in the south.

I see it at a Whole Foods type store in north Florida and it annoys the heck out of me knowing who makes it.

 

I just saw it today at Sprouts, and apparently they now have BLK+ which is black water with the alluring taste of tropical punch.   Blerf.

 

 

LOL

 

Followed by an Investigative Discovery special starring Lauren & Vito: Who the Bleep Did I Marry

 

Oh, I can easily see them making the jump from Bravo to Investigation Discovery.  Nightmare Next Door, Snapped: Women who Kill, Swamp Murders.  The possibilities are endless.

[sunflowers83823]

I hope the high ratings were because of piggy backing with RHNJ. I can't imagine that the ratings were actually from the show.

[Giselle]

I hope the high ratings were because of piggy backing with RHNJ. I can't imagine that the ratings were actually from the show.

 

A lot of people were probably duped into recording it because Bravo  LIED about what would be showing. Not two hours of Housewives but one hour of housewives and another hour of pervy mommy and me dreck.

[JerseyGirl]

Ratings, looked like Manzo'd couldn't hold onto their ratings for Episode 2 and may have been 1.7 only because Housewives was 2.26 that night:

 

Real Housewives of New Jersey

9/28 – 1.906
10/5 – 2.26

 

Manzo’d With Children

10/5 – 1.717
10/5 – 1.568

 

http://www.realitytea.com/2014/10/10/reality-tv-viewer-numbers-manzod-with-children-real-housewives-of-new-jersey-dance-moms-teen-mom-2/

[MyAimIsTrue]

A lot of people were probably duped into recording it because Bravo  LIED about what would be showing. Not two hours of Housewives but one hour of housewives and another hour of pervy mommy and me dreck.

 

I don't have a DVR so I didn't know they worked off of show titles but the fact that Bravo did this proves to me that they have no faith in the Manzo program.  Perhaps it was too late to cut their losses and not air it at all?

[Giselle]

Ratings, looked like Manzo'd couldn't hold onto their ratings for Episode 2 and may have been 1.7 only because Housewives was 2.26 that night:

 

Real Housewives of New Jersey

9/28 – 1.906

10/5 – 2.26

 

Manzo’d With Children

10/5 – 1.717

10/5 – 1.568

 

http://www.realitytea.com/2014/10/10/reality-tv-viewer-numbers-manzod-with-children-real-housewives-of-new-jersey-dance-moms-teen-mom-2/

 

Thanks for the numbers. I just wish Andy would be put in check with this. He keeps pushing this mob on everybody and doesn't seem to get that nobody likes them and not everybody has a mommy fixation like he, Albie, Greg and the Chrissy do.

 

I also believe part of this Manzo'd crap came about because Caroline and Lauren are angling for a freebie Bravo wedding and that none of these self important slackers want to quit sucking at the Bravo tit of the easy money and perks.

[JerseyGirl]

I agree, I found an old article that said Lauren got engaged in 2012 but that Bravo asked her to keep it quiet because they filmed a whole episode about it (that never aired).

 

http://www.realitytea.com/2012/05/23/is-teresa-giudice-hinting-a-spinoff-plus-lauren-manzo-vito-engaged/

 

Then in 2013, Caroline was looking to leave RHONJ and pitching to Bravo about a show of her own.  It wasn't until then that Lauren announced her engagement and now we see Manzo'd with her preparing for the wedding.  Not only is Chris and Ablie moving home a fake, but this whole engagement/wedding is  fake/farce:

 

From the link above in 2012:  

We think Vito and Lauren are engaged, but angling for a spinoff and a season five contract.

Edited October 10, 2014 by JerseyGirl

[MyAimIsTrue]

I agree, I found an old article that said Lauren got engaged in 2012 but that Bravo asked her to keep it quiet because they filmed a whole episode about it (that never aired).

 

http://www.realitytea.com/2012/05/23/is-teresa-giudice-hinting-a-spinoff-plus-lauren-manzo-vito-engaged/

 

Then in 2013, Caroline was looking to leave RHONJ and pitching to Bravo about a show of her own.  It wasn't until then that Lauren announced her engagement and now we see Manzo'd with her preparing for the wedding.  Not only is Chris and Ablie moving home a fake, but this whole engagement/wedding is  fake/farce:

 

From the link above in 2012: 

 

We think Vito and Lauren are engaged, but angling for a spinoff and a season five contract.

 

To paraphrase the ever eloquent Teresa Guidice, these people are prostitution famewhores.

[turbogirlnyc]

This show is a joke.  Albie and Chris aren't living at home.  I've seen them on instagram taking pictures from their Jersey City or Hoboken apartment.  They most likely go home for filming, but don't live there.  Lauren crying about being a fat ass when she was young, blah blah blah, how hard it was.  Girl, you had lapband surgery, breast reduction, botox and whatever else.  You did nothing on your own!!!

 

Take this family and Jac off my TV.  I'd rather watch a show about Juicy trying to raise his 4 daughters alone.

 

Word.

 

I can't wrap my head around Lauren being "blessed" with so many opportunities when she's never been anything but a horrible person. Sure, her parents & Bravo are to blame but come on...  This goes for the entire fambily.

Edited October 10, 2014 by turbogirlnyc

[Giselle]

Word.

 

I can't wrap my head around Lauren being "blessed" with so many opportunities when she's never been anything but a horrible person. Sure, her parents & Bravo are to blame but come on...  This goes for the entire fambily.

 

 

You can put lipstick on a pig but....

[turbogirlnyc]

You can put lipstick on a pig but....

 

Lol, true!

[ub40fan]

I just hope Vito gets his head together and gets away from Lauren before it's too late. She's a nasty piece of work. And if she doesn't like Albie's "girlfriend" it's because said "girlfriend" is beautiful with a great figure. Lauren was just dripping with jealousy. Run Vito, run!!!!

[quinn]

My understanding of the ratings reported is that it reflects people who watched the show in real time or if it was on their DVR they had to have watched it by a certain time, so even if Bravo pulled a fast one and the show got recorded because it was tagged RHoNJ,  1.7 watched the first episode and 1.57 watched the second.

[Muffyn]

I tried the two On Demand episodes but fell asleep one third through each.  Awful.

 

P.S. to someone upthread.  There were counter-wiping scenes in both episodes!  That I managed to catch!

I caught a moment while flipping channels.  I saw Chris polishing the counter with his ass.  Counter wiping - a Manzo family tradition.

[Mckinnonsgirl]

I guess I'm not a reasonable person because I actually like Caroline and Jacqueline. But, I like them better on RHONJ

[supermum]

my spouse said no way no how to ever watching any show about this family.  I sneaked into the bedroom to give it a private viewing.  Spouse was 10000% right.  IM OUT

[Chicklet]

Disclamer: I only watched for 10 minutes lol. I think Albie hired that chick to be his "date". 

I can't stomach these people. 

[SFoster21]

I thought this show got interesting tonight. I'll watch to see Albie take on his mother.

Brittany is so Elizabeth Hurley from EdTV, but the family just got interesting.