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SilverStormm

Manzo'd With Children

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Saw a commercial for this one during RHONJ last night.  

 

Saw Caroline swinging from a trapeze and something about "the kids I gave birth to are now trying to kill me."

 

Trying desperately to say something nice about this show and all I can come up with is at least it's only half an hour long.

 

It looks positively coma-inducing.

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I always feel bad for those poor girls that they trot out as Albie's "love interests". Actually, it makes me feel kind of bad for Albie too.

 

NOT GONNA HAPPEN, CAROLINE!

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I always feel bad for those poor girls that they trot out as Albie's "love interests". Actually, it makes me feel kind of bad for Albie too.

 

NOT GONNA HAPPEN, CAROLINE!

 

My sentiments exactly!

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I have nothing good to say about this show other than I won't be watching. I reposted here what I said on one of the RHoNJ threads.

 

Apr 9 2014. 9:47 pm

 

Wasn't that season 1, episode 1  umpteen years ago.  Yawwwwwwwwn.

I have no interest in the So So Manzo Show.  Who cares that the child born without a penis gets married. Who cares that the two woodchucks try to earn a buck. Who cares that Al hides away at work while his wife runs her mouth and her son's lives. Who cares?

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Just watched the extended preview, looks heavy on the hi jinks-for-the-camera. Caroline wouldn't even participate in that stupid salsa dancing class on RHNJ and now she's trapeezing and chariot racing? Just another day in the life of those crazy Manzos!

Speaking of which, I think we are verging on pathetic here. These kids have not been kids for several years, it's time to get their own lives. Albie is over 30, no?

That girl Albie is "dating" is gorgeous. I can see how she won her role at central casting.

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Ugh ! Saw the previews too. This family had their shot on a TV  to show how funny and charming and hilarious they are. NOT! 

 

How the frig did they get another chance?

 

Oh the hilarious hi jinks of America's funniest New Jersey family. NOT! Well they gave Kim  - Atlanta a show and three seasons so far. But at least her kids are really cute ! And none of Kim's 6 kids shave and have beer bloat bellies. 

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I can't figure out why Andy/Bravo keep trying to make the Manzo tribe happen.

 

Didn't Albie and "Critofer" already have a shot with their asinine "Boys to Manzo" web series that failed in epic fashion?

 

I just don't get why he/the network think this family has something we just need to see.

 

Ugh.

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........ Please let Lauren's thread have "dipshit" somewhere in the title. .....

 

http://www.jewishjournal.com/keepingitreal/item/janay_rice_lauren_manzo_ignorance_on_twitter1

 

Lauren Manzo: The dipshit one born without a penis.

Lauren Manzo: Dipshit, uneducated, mommy doesn't love her as much as the boys.

Lauren Manzo: The little fungus living amongst her brother's manure under mommy's looming shadow. 

Edited by Giselle
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Lauren IS a dipshit:

 

Lauren Manzo @Laurenmanzo (378K Followers) 09 Sep 2014 12:03 PM
Instagram: Laurenmanzo

Janay Rice defending her husband & blaming the Media for "hurting" her is DISGUSTING-what a weak person-it's sad some women let this happen

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Albie's should be "dreams are all you'll ever have"   or maybe "deputy do nothing"

Did Albie ever learn to read? Or does mommy still take care of that for him? Are the boys still living in Hoboken? Does Al still have his love nest upstairs in the Brownstone? Do any of Caroline's siblings speak to her?

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I just saw the promo for this show and I need a reality check from you all.  There is a shot on a boat of Albie with Caroline's arms around his neck.  To me it looked like a classic girlfriend pose from a movie, a couple on a boat or motorcycle hair blowing in the breeze.  I have never seen Caroline look so smiley and blissful.  I know how much Caroline looooves her oldest son but it creeped me out. I reran it for Mr. Moving and asked what he thought.  After I reminded him that they were mother and "adult" son he said "Gross that looks kind of incestuous to me."   So I am asking if Mr. Moving and I are the only ones who were creeped out by that shot?

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To answer your question movingtargetgal I would have to look at the picture in question.  I'm not sure my fragile mind can handle that.  I never like to look directly at a Manzo.  

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Part of me wants to ignore this show, but part of me wants to watch it so I can snark about it on this board. Oh such dilemmas!!

 

I'm finding myself in an identical dilemma.

 

I'm thinking it's 30 minutes a week sacrificed to the greater good of snarking on this board.  Plus fast-forwarding through commercials makes it clock in at around 23 minutes.

 

I think I might give up 23 minutes of my life a week in exchange for the premium snark that should be forthcoming on these boards.  

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I just saw approximately 5 minutes of this.  In the words of every housewife that ever was "I'm done."  Thanks for the gay stereotyping Manzo kids.  Of course, all gay men are into wedding dresses.  And seeing a short clip that the boys bring a blow up doll into the house knowing that Caro will treat it like they are just little scamps, no thanks.  

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I've seen commercials... doesn't look like there's anything new. Gotta hand it to Caroline, she's really good at extending her Bravo 15 Minutes.

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I just saw the promo for this show and I need a reality check from you all. There is a shot on a boat of Albie with Caroline's arms around his neck. To me it looked like a classic girlfriend pose from a movie, a couple on a boat or motorcycle hair blowing in the breeze. I have never seen Caroline look so smiley and blissful. I know how much Caroline looooves her oldest son but it creeped me out. I reran it for Mr. Moving and asked what he thought. After I reminded him that they were mother and "adult" son he said "Gross that looks kind of incestuous to me." So I am asking if Mr. Moving and I are the only ones who were creeped out by that shot?

They were on a van ride last season on RHNJ and ahe had her leg wrapped

around his and her fingers in his hair for the whole long trip!

The commercial is great: announcer: "they're as thick as ... you know.."

That's pretty mean, you ask me.

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Honesty time. I'm only watching this piece of shit tonight because a few if you above who are hilarious might tune in and we can snark about this garbage after.

Why does Bravo keep trying to make this strident, controlling, loud harridan and her unattractive and obnoxious family happen? Why do believe they hold some charm?

Talk about fake and canned shit. Oh look some hot chick in a bikini washing a car for no reason...hey there's Caroline on a trapeze geez so zany...aw Lauren is a bridezilla, look out Kim Kardassion!

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Oh good lord all they can talk about it underarm sweating. They have nothing going on worth talking about. Why does Bravo keep trying to make them happen?

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Lauren - lap band, breast reduction, professional makeup artist, but still as ugly on the outside as she is on the inside. RUN VITO.

 

Within the first 5 minutes, Greg shows up. Please just admit he and Albie are a couple and be done with it. If they're not, they should be. (I always defended the Albie is Gay Rumors, as he's just terrified of failing and very selective, but straight, now...not so sure.)

 

I never want to see Jac anywhere, so when she turned up, I turned the channel. Not wasting any more time on this one.

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"I didn't go to the prom & now I'm in a glamour magazine." 

 

Yawn.

 

Bonus thought: Jacqueline's face? Ya, um no. 

 

 

P.P.S: This show el suckos.

Edited by BostonBlonde
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WTF happened to Christopher??  I mean, he really never was the "good looking" one, but he is really looking very rough!!  He looks like an overweight middle-aged man who drank one (or eight) too many beers....really not looking good!!!  

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Is it possible they all got dumber?

They really need to move away from home and away from each other. This insular living is just consuming what little grey matter they all have.

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Okay - I know this show is stupid, but I can totally relate to Caroline and the trapeze!  I, too, am afraid of heights, and I know how she felt.  My sons "shamed" me into ziplining, and I was almost as bad as Caroline, whining and nervous.  Am I glad I did it?  Yes....but am I still afraid of heights?  You betcha!! 

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Is it possible they all got dumber?

They really need to move away from home and away from each other. This insular living is just consuming what little grey matter they all have.

Like you, I hardly thought it possible. This show shades into science fiction; it's like these people have all been shot with a gun that removes all the average components of self-consciousness or self-knowledge.

Caroline looks like something from another planet in her TH's. Her face is plastered over and painted as though it were made of unfinished wood. She looks like a puppet that burst it's strings.

Does Lauren plan to behave like a low rent Bridezilla for the run of this? With her brothers saying she's half a man and a ball breaker? My goodness, woman, have some pride.

These people are so sad.

Do those boys ever go to work?

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"Caroline Manzo can do almost anything", declares Caroline Manzo, 

 

Still humble I see.   Other than that, her 'kids' are failing as adults.  I give props to Tre for calling out Caroline 2 reunions ago for asking why [at that points as adults] her children didn't have jobs and were basically being coddled.  Boring show and ironically it dragged more when Greg appeared.

 

I give this show a ... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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Omg what a pathetic trainwreck. Didn't Caro get lapband surgery when she lost all that weight a couple of years ago? I thought daddy Manzo did it first, then Caro then Lauren. Yet, she was going on and on about having to lose weight, work out, blah blah.... She must be very petite because 141 lbs is not heavy unless you are as short as Snookie. I will have to give her credit for getting on the scale in front of the world, though!. 

 

The "boys" are losers, everything they touch turns to shit. Why can't they go off and do their own thing separately from each other? Do all of their business ventures have to be together? What happened to the restaurant they opened? They sure have alot of time to lay around on the couch if that restaurant is still open. Anybody here from Hoboken know the story on that?  

 

Poor Vito. So Lauren isn't moving out of the house until they get married next year? Poor slob has no idea what he is in for with this entitled brat and she has not idea how to live on her own.

 

Jac being portrayed as the zany botoxed aunt. Along with needing to stop trying to make the Manzo's happen, Bravo needs to stop trying making her happen, too.  

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This show taped following  RHNJ on my DVR what sneaky bastard arranged that? I can not stand Caroline , never could and she is even worse than I remembered. She went on and on abut Lauren wanting botox in her armpits because she sweats extensively. Brilliant Caroline tells her to try deodorant.  She is so above it all and tags along to the doctor where she would not STFU not letting the doctor speak.  Gotta agree something happened to Chris he aged 20 years and has the posture of an old man.

The bottles of BLK water all over the kitchen so cleaver. Yummy hope they serve it at the wedding.

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I caught about 15-20 or so minutes of this show. I may or may not watch more, but will tune into this page to read the snark!

 

I caught the part where they were "throwing" out the food and then went to the cross fit gym. 

 

It was just boring. No, Caroline, you don't talk the trainer out of it. You aren't some master negotiator. You are paying a guy for a service, and he gets paid whether you do 1 push-up or 100, or if you lose 1 pound or 20. Yes, a good trainer is going to push you and motivate you, but only if you are open to it and try and work. But if you choose to give up, then it is just easy money for him.

 

Also, were they going to donate open food items? I don't think most food banks can or will take that, especially items that are already perishable (like an open cheese or can quickly go stale giant cheese puffs).

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How is possible that such an insufferable bunch of losers as the Manzo children have such a high opinion of themselves and their wittiness? I don't get it. Are they delusional or in denial? Seriously, I'm asking. These people have done nothing. Albie is what, 28 years old, jobless and living at home.....with his other siblings.

Slow golf clap for the whole bunch for getting BRAVO to support their complete lack of talent, brains and motivation.

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This show is a joke.  Albie and Chris aren't living at home.  I've seen them on instagram taking pictures from their Jersey City or Hoboken apartment.  They most likely go home for filming, but don't live there.  Lauren crying about being a fat ass when she was young, blah blah blah, how hard it was.  Girl, you had lapband surgery, breast reduction, botox and whatever else.  You did nothing on your own!!!

 

Take this family and Jac off my TV.  I'd rather watch a show about Juicy trying to raise his 4 daughters alone.

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I confess I decided not to watch the show, but I saw Caro on WWHL. Someone sent in a question asking if her children had jobs, and she went on a rant about how the biggest misconception about her children is that they don't work. In fact, she says they work VERY hard and all have businesses. Ok, Caro, whatever you say. Face it, their job is being your child and being on reality TV. Isn't Albie 30 or close to it. So far he is a law school dropout, police academy dropout, he was involved in the BLK and a restaurant, I'm sure heavily backed by mom and dad. Is the restaurant still running? Crittofer is wanted to open a stripper car wash, he also worked at BLK and the restaurant. Lauren had cafface, is it still in business? Caro can protest all she wants, but by their ages, those kids should be self-supporting.  

Edited by poeticlicensed
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Yes Jac, how does she look that bad with professional makeup people? And what's with her neck? Didn't she have something done to it a while ago? So many questions, so little interest in the answers.

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I get that everyone is different, and every man does not have to be exploding in testosterone in order to be a heterosexual man, but it really feels as though Albie is closeted.  Greg is a nice kid, I just wonder what Albie really has in common with him though.  I also don't buy that these girls that appear on the show are Albie's girlfriends.  They always have zero chemistry with Albie. 

 

IMHO, Albie seems like a decent kid, and if he's heterosexual, great.  If not, great too, it's just unfortunate that if he is homosexual that he (or someone else), feels he must be closeted.  Overall, boring show.

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Okay, I admit I kept dozing off during both episodes of this.

 

And why the fresh hell, Bravo, was this tacked onto my DVR as part of RHONJ?  I thought I was in for a 2-hour episode RHONJ but nope, regular hour-long episode with Caroline and Crew tacked onto it.  Nice way to try to jack up Caroline's ratings for this craptastic snoozefest, Andy.

 

Greg, you little scamp...I remember when you had your head up Teresa's ass all the way to your fucking clavicles in the early RHONJ episodes, then stealthily switched over to the Manzos.

 

Guess Greg's loyalties lie wherever the camera time is optimal.  Or whichever side Andy tells him to take.  Hell, maybe Andy fixed Albie and Greg up at some point.  Who knows.  All I know is in early RHNJ episodes, Greg was "Teresa's friend Greg."  Never explained that shift in alliances over to the Manzo team.  

 

I don't get the premise of this show.  I really don't.  These "kids" are full-fledged, grown-assed adults that should have lives of their own outside of Mama Caroline's clawing hands.  It's not like they're 18, 19 and 20 and just starting out in their adult lives.  There's nothing cute about grown-assed men living at home with mama, not to me anyway.  It's really rather appalling.  And, conversely, clearly done just for the show, I'm sure.

 

Speaking of which, how much of this fuck-and-awe is staged?  

 

Well, pretty sure the boys moving back in with mama was done strictly for the cameras.  

 

Then there's the magical reappearance of Benedict Arnold (er, Greg).  How conveniently timed was the phone call and the woefully pathetic penis joke?  Ye gads.

 

Of course, no doubt that lovely girl in the bikini came straight out of central casting.  

 

Caroline on the trapeze clearly orchestrated for the cameras.  

 

And not done for the camera but noteworthy is just why the fresh hell "Critofer" looks more and more like Stewie from Family Guy with every passing year.

 

Both episodes were not only mind-numbing and insipid, but everything was so obviously being done ONLY for the benefit of the cameras.  I don't believe for one hot second that this is a peek into the REAL day-to-day lives of the Manzos.  This is orchestrated horseshit at its worst.  

 

Maybe Bravo should market this shitfest as a drug-free alternative to Ambien or Lunesta.  

 

Ugh....this forum is the only reason I'll suck it up and try once again to sit through both episodes so I can follow all of the snark.  

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I don't find Caroline and her clan likeable at all and Caroline has a weird hold over all three of her children, but I never subscribed to the theory that Real Housewives of New Jersey was solely the Teresa / Joo-DEE-chay Family show and no other cast member contributed to its success, as well as the speculation that the opportunities Bravo gave the Manzos was due to Andy having some kind of crush on Albie, as if there is a dearth of slightly above average looking men in NY/northern NJ for Andy to lust after. 

 

I don't know if this show will be a hit, I watched it and was not riveted but it definitely held my attention better than the episode of RHoNJ that preceded it.  I don't know if it will be a hit or not, but I "get" why Caroline and her family + Greg, odious as they are, got their own spin off.

Edited by quinn
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