S01.E03: The Gift of Tongues

[Scarlett45]

Quote

The Berchtolds and Brobergs grow closer, but as Mary Ann and the girls fall under the spell of their fun-loving neighbour, Bob sees him as a threat.

Air Date: October 6, 2022

[Armchair Critic]

They did go there with the handjob that B had Bob Broberg give him. Keep in mind adult Jan was involved in the making of this series, so she is going to give her father a sympathetic edit. 
 

[Avaleigh]

2 hours ago, Armchair Critic said:

They did go there with the handjob that B had Bob Broberg give him. Keep in mind adult Jan was involved in the making of this series, so she is going to give her father a sympathetic edit. 

Yeah, I'm not buying that Bob was just trying to be a good neighbor or however the hell they're trying to spin this. My guess is that B picked up on some level of repression in Bob and decided to exploit it for his sick end game. He wanted to have something over each of the parents so that they wouldn't challenge him as aggressively as they might have once he put his plan into motion. It also keeps their eye off of the ball wrt Jan. They don't think too deeply about him being extra fond of Jan because they talked themselves into believing that they're each the real object of B's affection.

[Scarlett45]

20 hours ago, Avaleigh said:

Yeah, I'm not buying that Bob was just trying to be a good neighbor or however the hell they're trying to spin this. My guess is that B picked up on some level of repression in Bob and decided to exploit it for his sick end game. He wanted to have something over each of the parents so that they wouldn't challenge him as aggressively as they might have once he put his plan into motion. It also keeps their eye off of the ball wrt Jan. They don't think too deeply about him being extra fond of Jan because they talked themselves into believing that they're each the real object of B's affection.

Predators often groom the caregivers too so this makes sense. I am going to watch with my Mom this weekend. 

[Scarlett45]

Please- episode discussion is for what happened in the episode ONLY! If you want to discuss the documentary or compare the show to real events, take that to the Compare & Contrast thread.  

[Scarlett45]

On 10/6/2022 at 7:25 PM, Armchair Critic said:

They did go there with the handjob that B had Bob Broberg give him. Keep in mind adult Jan was involved in the making of this series, so she is going to give her father a sympathetic edit. 
 

I think Bob felt REALLY guilty for giving B that handjob, and he’s disgusted with himself because of how he’s been taught to view feelings like that (I don’t know if he’s gay or bi or what). B also now has “dirt” on Bob now. And homosexual activity was very much illegal in Idaho in the 1970s. If his wife ever found out and left him he could lose any sort of visitation with his girls. I remember Robert Reed from The Brady Bunch was married and divorced and because he was “out” he didn’t have custody of his daughter. (He wasn’t publicly out but people close to him knew.) 

[Snazzy Daisy]

Ohh man, that handjob scene in the car was so difficult to watch. Wanted to slap Bob multiple times and screamed to his face; “Dude, he’s trapping you! Runnnnn!” 😣

B was a charming, manipulative a**hole!

Edited October 9, 2022 by SnazzyDaisy

[Scarlett45]

50 minutes ago, SnazzyDaisy said:

Ohh man, that handjob scene in the car was so difficult to watch. Wanted to slap Bob multiple times and screamed to his face; “Dude, he’s trapping you! Runnnnn!” 😣

B was a charming, manipulative a**hole!

Yes I felt badly for Bob. B was playing him like a fiddle, and Bob seems to be a decent guy. He’s not evil like B. 
 

I think (and I’m interested in your thoughts on this) is that Bob could sense something was “wrong” with B, but he thought that it was probably just because he was jealous and attracted to him, so he kept pushing his “spidey senses” down. 

[Armchair Critic]

2 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

Bob could sense something was “wrong” with B, but he thought that it was probably just because he was jealous and attracted to him, so he kept pushing his “spidey senses” down. 

I agree.  Then B made Jan afraid to touch or show affection to her father, that was so evil.

[Snazzy Daisy]

32 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

I think (and I’m interested in your thoughts on this) is that Bob could sense something was “wrong” with B, but he thought that it was probably just because he was jealous and attracted to him, so he kept pushing his “spidey senses” down. 

It’s possible.

Bob Broberg said in the interview that he wasn’t gay and he had only one sexual encounter with B (in the car). But these could be the altered memories, to cope with his guilts and shames. 

Bob told B his darkest secret (re touching other boys - teens exploring phase?) and was feeling vulnerable about it. B took advantage of that secret and his state of mind, proceeded to double the humiliation with the handjob. More secrets, double the grips.

Bob was emotionally groomed by B, another reason to ignore his spidey senses. Self doubt. The Brobergs were in denial of so many things.

[Scarlett45]

14 hours ago, SnazzyDaisy said:

It’s possible.

Bob Broberg said in the interview that he wasn’t gay and he had only one sexual encounter with B (in the car). But these could be the altered memories, to cope with his guilts and shames. 

Bob told B his darkest secret (re touching other boys - teens exploring phase?) and was feeling vulnerable about it. B took advantage of that secret and his state of mind, proceeded to double the humiliation with the handjob. More secrets, double the grips.

Bob was emotionally groomed by B, another reason to ignore his spidey senses. Self doubt. The Brobergs were in denial of so many things.

I don’t know if Bob was gay or bisexual etc, he certainly trusted B, and B exploited that trust for his own sick gain. Maybe it was just one time, but the emotional betrayal messed with Bob’s head more than anything else. 

15 hours ago, Armchair Critic said:

I agree.  Then B made Jan afraid to touch or show affection to her father, that was so evil.

So evil. B wanted to have Jan “all to himself”. 

[AntFTW]

At the risk of sounding like a terrible person, I thought moments just before the handy were hilarious. I chuckled. "What about my marriage Bob?" LOL

You'd have to prepare a brief and submit evidence as if you are preparing to argue in front of the Supreme Court to convince me that the handjob by someone other than your spouse does not qualify as a more "sinful action."

[Cinnabon]

5 hours ago, AntFTW said:

At the risk of sounding like a terrible person, I thought moments just before the handy were hilarious. I chuckled. "What about my marriage Bob?" LOL

You'd have to prepare a brief and submit evidence as if you are preparing to argue in front of the Supreme Court to convince me that the handjob by someone other than your spouse does not qualify as a more "sinful action."

More “sinful” than what?

[chocolatine]

39 minutes ago, Cinnabon said:

More “sinful” than what?

B was trying to rationalize to Bob that if Bob didn't give him a handjob, B would do something "sinful." I think OP is arguing that an extramarital, same-sex handjob is itself "sinful," at least according to the Mormon church.

[AntFTW]

46 minutes ago, Cinnabon said:

More “sinful” than what?

3 minutes ago, chocolatine said:

B was trying to rationalize to Bob that if Bob didn't give him a handjob, B would do something "sinful." I think OP is arguing that an extramarital, same-sex handjob is itself "sinful," at least according to the Mormon church.

Yes.

The handjob is “sinful.” He’s avoiding one “sin” by doing another???  That rationalization makes no sense.

[Scarlett45]

16 hours ago, AntFTW said:

Yes.

The handjob is “sinful.” He’s avoiding one “sin” by doing another???  That rationalization makes no sense.

People love to jump through hoops to justify what they want.

The rational is that a handjob is less sinful than extra-marital vaginal penile intercourse. B is evil and a POS, but he’s not the first person to use that twisted logic. How many people have cheated on their spouse/partner and claimed it wasn’t “really sex” if there wasn’t a possibility of pregnancy? (Either because of the act or it being a same sex interaction) Quite a number. 

[AntFTW]

24 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

The rational is that a handjob is less sinful than extra-marital vaginal penile intercourse. B is evil and a POS, but he’s not the first person to use that twisted logic. How many people have cheated on their spouse/partner and claimed it wasn’t “really sex” if there wasn’t a possibility of pregnancy? (Either because of the act or it being a same sex interaction) Quite a number. 

I understood how he was trying to rationalize it. My surprise is that Bob Broberg didn't question that rationale at all. Sure, he had some hesitation but JEEZ!

[Scarlett45]

2 hours ago, AntFTW said:

I understood how he was trying to rationalize it. My surprise is that Bob Broberg didn't question that rationale at all. Sure, he had some hesitation but JEEZ!

OH gotcha!

Im not surprised at Bob. Bob was probably embarrassed, ashamed, guilty and so vulnerable in his attraction to B, all Bob could probably focus on was his own internal struggle. 
 

I cut Bob more slack, because 1. Bob didn’t set out to be malicious towards anyone, 2. Bob admitted what he did and accepted the consequences. B is SO RICH with his “I’ll tell people.” Dude, getting a handjob from another guy doesn’t scream “Im 100% heterosexual”. B had some nerve picking on Bob. 

[Cinnabon]

1 hour ago, Scarlett45 said:

OH gotcha!

Im not surprised at Bob. Bob was probably embarrassed, ashamed, guilty and so vulnerable in his attraction to B, all Bob could probably focus on was his own internal struggle. 
 

I cut Bob more slack, because 1. Bob didn’t set out to be malicious towards anyone, 2. Bob admitted what he did and accepted the consequences. B is SO RICH with his “I’ll tell people.” Dude, getting a handjob from another guy doesn’t scream “Im 100% heterosexual”. B had some nerve picking on Bob. 

Bob should’ve told him to go ahead and tell people. He could have just denied the whole incident.

[Scarlett45]

4 hours ago, Cinnabon said:

Bob should’ve told him to go ahead and tell people. He could have just denied the whole incident.

Bob isn’t a liar though. To Bob I think lying about it would’ve been a continuation of the sin. 

[Cosmocrush]

This show is ruining some of my favorite old musical memories/songs. 😝

[jmonique]

This episode should have been named "A Helping Hand."

[Cosmocrush]

Is this set in the 1970s or the 1950s?   I grew up in the suburbs in the 1970s and Bob and Mary Ann's marriage seems exceptionally antiquated.  Women were liberating, fighting to become enter the workforce, Roe v Wade, and having their own lives.  I doubt there was a mother in my neighborhood who was as submissive as Mary Ann, much less my own house.   This almost seems like a caricature.

Edited October 19, 2022 by Cosmocrush

[Scarlett45]

1 hour ago, Cosmocrush said:

Is this set in the 1970s or the 1950s?   I grew up in the suburbs in the 1970s and Bob and Mary Ann's marriage seems exceptionally antiquated.  Women were liberating, fighting to become enter the workforce, Roe v Wade, and having their own lives.  I doubt there was a mother in my neighborhood who was as submissive as Mary Ann, much less my own house.   This almost seems like a caricature.

The Brobergs are LDS in a small town in Idaho, different cultural group than in a progressive suburb of a major metro area, without a strong religious influence for example. 

[Cosmocrush]

3 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

The Brobergs are LDS in a small town in Idaho, different cultural group than in a progressive suburb of a major metro area, without a strong religious influence for example. 

Point taken.  Although the prosecutor was also LDS and he didn't seem out of the 1950s. 

[Scarlett45]

21 minutes ago, Cosmocrush said:

Point taken.  Although the prosecutor was also LDS and he didn't seem out of the 1950s. 

Right, I get you- but in any location there are going to be people more progressive/open minded and others more traditional. 
 

I think the personality of Bob and Mary-Anne plays into this as well. Bob seems like a sweet, easy going, kind man, but he’s not a “leader”. Mary-Anne seems to be the type that wants a “leader” but was likely attracted to Bob because he was so nice and safe. 
 

I have a co-worker (sweetest lady I know, reminds me of my deceased great aunt that’s how we became friends although she’s much older than me), she is so kind and gentle, but although she was born in 1962, she carries herself and acts like a woman born in 1942! (A conservative woman at that) A part of that is her conservative Catholic upbringing, she never married or had children. She’s just not “worldly”. I could see her being in a marriage like that if she had gotten married. (The submissive part I mean)

[Shermie]

On 10/19/2022 at 4:04 PM, Cosmocrush said:

Is this set in the 1970s or the 1950s?   I grew up in the suburbs in the 1970s and Bob and Mary Ann's marriage seems exceptionally antiquated.  Women were liberating, fighting to become enter the workforce, Roe v Wade, and having their own lives.  I doubt there was a mother in my neighborhood who was as submissive as Mary Ann, much less my own house.   This almost seems like a caricature

I grew up in the ‘60s and ‘70s in a small conservative town and there were lots of prim submissive wives then. Even now there are a few. When they are fundie religious, they adhere to those tenets of “husband is lord and master”. Ugh.

The music is really a nostalgia trip for me, and they really got that 60s-70s middle class look down. Interesting that some of the fashions and home decor are back on trend again.

While I believe the wives would be so submissive and naive, I can’t believe Bob could be convinced to give a handjob to B like that. He was confident and aggressive enough to get angry about Jan going to the play and forbidding her to go, so he’s not a complete pushover. Yes, I know he caved, but I thought he had some spine. 

[Scarlett45]

On 11/1/2022 at 9:24 PM, Shermie said:

While I believe the wives would be so submissive and naive, I can’t believe Bob could be convinced to give a handjob to B like that. He was confident and aggressive enough to get angry about Jan going to the play and forbidding her to go, so he’s not a complete pushover. Yes, I know he caved, but I thought he had some spine. 

I think Bob had a spine but he was attracted to B, and vulnerable in the after confessing his same sex experiences when he was younger. B played him like a fiddle. I am sure we have all had experiences where we were less than rational with someone we had a strong sexual attraction for, even if it didnt include cheating on a partner. I think when B offered him a chance to act on that attraction he jump on it, but then felt badly because he was married and felt it was wrong, adding in the same sex aspect he felt great shame.