S09.E14: Temperature Check

[Fable]

Okay, Yve is now saying she really has no contact with her family, and the "squad" is the only family she has, so I am wondering why the big need for a venue.

[toomuchtv]

Why was jbri so shocked that his parents were reminding him he couldn’t stay indefinitely? I feel like that was definitely mentioned before Miona got there. And he was so offended they asked the date/location of the wedding which was no more than a month away. How dare they expect him to plan something! Would he rather they wait until days before the time was up to say peace out, you’re evicted! Or he was just expecting to be allowed to stay forever. He thought he was being treated like he was 15, but he was acting less mature than my 9 year old.

[1011101010001]

16 minutes ago, toomuchtv said:

Why was jbri so shocked that his parents were reminding him he couldn’t stay indefinitely? I feel like that was definitely mentioned before Miona got there. And he was so offended they asked the date/location of the wedding which was no more than a month away. How dare they expect him to plan something! Would he rather they wait until days before the time was up to say peace out, you’re evicted! Or he was just expecting to be allowed to stay forever. He thought he was being treated like he was 15, but he was acting less mature than my 9 year old.

Gee if Miona had been nice to his friend in Chicago they could go crash there . . . .

[Frozendiva]

Hopefully this season is ending soon.

Kara and Guillermo: Nice that he talked to his wise mom. Kara's bachelorette party was kinda lame. I wouldn't want one and I wouldn't want it to be the night before I got married. The wedding day is stressful enough with hair and makeup and the dress and the photos and all the guests. Who needs a hangover? She will be 30 and the partygirl life will come to an end with a job and responsibilities.

Shaeeda and Bilal: Girl, get it through your head that Bilal is only looking out for #1 - himself. He will go kicking and screaming in to any pre-nush where you get a break. Just me me me and myself. He is not doing you any favors. There is still a bit of a fairytale in love - that someone sees the best of you and wants to go through life with you. I wouldn't start a yoga studio just yet. You are very new to the US. Get a job at a studio, become a senior instructor and build a client list. Just like a personal trainor or esthetician or hairstylist.  Ya gotta know people.

Miona and Jibby: She has been waiting for the parents to kick them out. Jibby has had months to make some plans, take any sort of job to get his own place. His parents have their own lives and don't want him around for years. He and Miona have also had plenty of time to plan some sort of wedding.  They can't stay indefinitely without contributing. He was acting like a kid. His friend offered him a driving job. Take it for now, work on the music part-time.

Ari and Bini: Guess he takes care of Avi and maybe she just sees him as an accessory. Bini can sew? He can do tailoring part time. I'm guessing that he had to come up with his own costumes so sewing it was. If Avi wasn't there, she'd run back to Leandro. Why get such a fancy wedding dress? That money could go toward rent and food. Will she marry him? Of course!

Emily and Kobe: Ooops, he spilled the secret to his friend. Temperature has some things right but is still very African about Kobe being the head of the household. Ems, unless Kobe is running late, you don't order his food for him when he is sitting next to you. You sure came to life when Temperature mentioned Kobe had some royal blood (no, not the band). No castle in Cameroon for you.

Thais and Patrick: Girl, what do you do all day except hold the dog? What kind of wife will you be? One who stays home and shops? You know how your dad will react to your getting married. He doesn't like Patrick or probably any man. Your dad has no idea how you can afford to go to the US for a few months and who is paying your expenses? Some men do change after marriage. Some pull a long con as Mr. Nice Guy and after the honeymoon, Mr. Hyde comes out. Wonder if her going home or saying she will is just a fakeout. Patrick's intentions seem to be having a hot wife. No idea what they see in each other.

Yve and Mohamed: Yve, he is slowly going to take away everything from you. You will not be able to see male clients, you will not be able to spend time with his friends. Only his religion and life will matter. Your friends were nosy and pushy with him. He doesn't like it. He will be passive agressive and slowly isolate you. He cares only about his Green Card and mommy. Nothing wrong with the new agey fire ceremony. A lot of people will burn away old things, old habits. He didn't have to just dismiss it. Show some maturity in that other people do have other ways of connecting with their idea of God and that his way is not the only valid way. Buy him a plane ticket and send him home.

[magemaud]

11 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

The question about how he knew how to have sex was especially stupid.  How does anyone know their first time?  

Especially since he had someone experienced to teach him 

[1011101010001]

5 minutes ago, Frozendiva said:

Hopefully this season is ending soon.

It is. Happily Ever After? is replacing it next month.

[Eme]

Thais’ Dad is spot on.  Patrick already cheated on her and Dad knows he’s worthless.  Sadly, she will likely marry him and live with his controlling ways forever.....as well as having to live with John.  
I relished the moment when she told her Dad in front of Patrick and the Uncomfortable Silence set in.  (weeee!!!). 
It was so bad that Patrick had to leave the room. 
Why exactly?  
Why didn’t Patrick  stay and make his case to Dad? 
Clearly, he saw that the News wasn’t welcome.  
She’s young and I don’t blame her for wanting to sit around holding her dog. Patrick disrespects her, never takes her opinions into consideration and reminds her How Grateful she should be to him....I’d be clutching that dog for dear life myself....

[AR Traveler]

Kara/Guillermo: Like FrozenDiva, I didn't have a bachelorette myself and I surely wouldn't want to get trash-drunk the night before the wedding with all the hoo-hah going on.  This reminded me of Jasmine's divorce party while what's-his-face languished downstairs.  I hope Kara knows the party days are ending.

Shaeeda/Bilal: I hope Shaeeda doesn't put the rose colored glasses back on, because Bilal is all about Bilal.  Bilal is bilious, but I've also seen times where I didn't like Shaeeda all the much either.  I agree she needs contacts and to build a clientele first; it's a good city for that, with two major league sports teams.  She might go far.

Miona/Jibjab:  Anyone else catch the "Yes! Yes! Yes!" look on Miona's face when the parents quite rightly asked about the date and location of a wedding supposedly happening in three weeks or so?  Both parents would have to arrange time off of work, except for a wedding at the grandmother's house.  I don't see why Jib didn't plan all this out way before he brought Miona over, and I think she's realizing he's a man-child.  She probably showed more planning and organization when leaving Serbia.   Not to mention where are they going to live, and what are they going to live on?

Ari/Bini: Bini's in this so he doesn't lose Avi like his first son, and Ari's just going through the motions.  She loves Leandro, and Bini knows it.

 Emily/Kobe: "Temperature" is a name?  Anyway, I thought a spouse ordering for the other was usually the man for the woman, and I thought that went down with Cal and Rose in Titanic.  I see there's that same "man is the head of the house" belief  in operation here, but then why are Kobe, Michael and Bini no match for their loudmouth, obnoxious women?  Do they try to set that aside just for a green card?

Patrick/Thais: She is his arm candy and "Look what I can get, though I'm a dweeb".  Thais' dad looks like even the President of Brazil wouldn't be good enough for his girl.  

Yve/Mohammed: He is going to edit out anything about Yve he doesn't like, which is a whole lot-her friends, her beliefs and rituals, perhaps even her career.  I thought the fire ceremony was moving, and as a non-Native, I would have been honored to be invited, not scoffed at it.  Watch out, Yve; if you got as far as marriage, here comes the mother in law from heck, and you will never win.  That is, if you don't get dumped as soon as he's legal.

And because I am nosy, I found Yve in Albuquerque.  She seems to have far more qualifications and positive testimonials than Memphis and surely doesn't need this overgrown man-child.

[Almost 3000]

14 hours ago, Bugfrey Von said:

Wait, wuuuuuuuut????

Yeah, I thought the Ari's half siblings were on her dad's side not the mother's. New news to me.

[Gobi]

Regarding Emilump ordering for Kobe Beef: Is it possible that he can’t read English, or is limited in reading it?

Even if so, she could have been more tactful.

[magemaud]

38 minutes ago, Almost 3000 said:

Yeah, I thought the Ari's half siblings were on her dad's side not the mother's. New news to me.

No, Kristen, Brad and Elliott are Janice's children from her first marriage. Their last name is "Schreffler."  I have also seen references to another older sister, Adele, and since she's never mentioned on the show, she might possibly be Doctor FRED'S daughter from another marriage. 

[1011101010001]

2 hours ago, Eme said:

Dad knows he’s worthless.

Because Dad cheated on Thais’s mom lol.

[Pepper Mostly]

15 hours ago, Baltimore Betty said:

Shaeeda is telling Bilal how she had fallen head over heels for him, like in a fairytale and he cuts her off and says there is no such thing as a fairytale love, why would he say that when someone who he is supposedly is in love with enough to marry says that she is infact in love with him?

Because Bilal's sole reason for living is to crush Shaeeda's spirit. No matter what she says, he's going to get that smug look on his face, adopt a tone of voice like an overburdened parent trying to explain something to a somewhat deficient child, and tell her she's foolish and stupid to feel the way she feels. I loathe that worm with every fiber of my being. 

13 hours ago, Frozendiva said:

Hopefully this season is ending soon.

Kara and Guillermo: Nice that he talked to his wise mom. Kara's bachelorette party was kinda lame. I wouldn't want one and I wouldn't want it to be the night before I got married. The wedding day is stressful enough with hair and makeup and the dress and the photos and all the guests. Who needs a hangover? She will be 30 and the partygirl life will come to an end with a job and responsibilities.

"Lame bachelorette party" is getting to be a trope that needs a Bingo square. Or "lame bachelorette party with no men allowed except for sassy gay friend". 

[Mr. Miner]

22 hours ago, hookedontv said:

Bilal likes conversating about the prenup he brung to the relationship. 

Bilal likes conversating about the prenup and small dick energy he brung to the relationship.  FTFY!

[1011101010001]

9 minutes ago, Mr. Miner said:

Bilal likes conversating about the prenup and small dick energy he brung to the relationship.  FTFY!

Yes stereotypes are not always true lol.  He seems generally very insecure and trying to mask it with cockiness.

[Gobi]

36 minutes ago, MrBuhBye said:

Yes stereotypes are not always true lol.  He seems generally very insecure and trying to mask it with cockiness.

I don’t know, he seems like a pretty big prick to me.

[Frozendiva]

5 hours ago, Gobi said:

Regarding Emilump ordering for Kobe Beef: Is it possible that he can’t read English, or is limited in reading it?

Even if so, she could have been more tactful.

She could have said something along the lines that two of his favorite dishes are on the menu and which would he like? Or even something else. I think still remember that men usually ordered for the woman.

[Breedom]

On 7/18/2022 at 6:07 PM, Baltimore Betty said:

Shaeeda is telling Bilal how she had fallen head over heels for him, like in a fairytale and he cuts her off and says there is no such thing as a fairytale love, why would he say that when someone who he is supposedly is in love with enough to marry says that she is infact in love with him?

Shy will eventually stop sharing her thoughts and feelings with him, because who wants to be shot down all the time? She was once again being authentic, sharing how she feels - and whammy. Not even a smile from Mr. Stone Face. Meaning, the guy doesn't have a kind emotion or softness in him. This guy has a brick wall surrounding him and one that he will never tear down. Run, Shy. You'll get over him much quicker than you think.

[Breedom]

5 hours ago, Frozendiva said:

She could have said something along the lines that two of his favorite dishes are on the menu and which would he like? Or even something else. I think still remember that men usually ordered for the woman.

I see it as a total power play. She works hard in finding every opportunity to try and exert power over someone whom she sees as weaker than she is. This time she found the perfect opportunity to play that card, in front of everyone including his best friend. No woman that I know would pull this with her guy. Why don't her parents say something? They have enabled their daughter and they just sit nearby mutely when she behaves like this, continually putting up with all of her shenanigans. Someone needs to take her down a few notches and teach her how to behave with other people. Oh, I don't see Kobe as weak, BTW, but he's new to this country and is solely dependent on her. He also has a child (almost two) that he doesn't want to lose.

[torontomeridith]

11 hours ago, Breedom said:

I see it as a total power play.

Yes.

All the Americans this season do these power plays with the possible exception of Jibri, who has parents for that.

It's cause they do have power, the power to dangle American citizenship/love/children over someone else and they clearly get off on it to varying degrees.

Is it just the type of person that goes on this show? Is it the seeming loss of power in their own life? I'm fascinated at the type of person that goes on this particular show. It's different than just a regular person who has a relationship with someone from a different country that respects their partner, knows a lot about them, learns each other's languages and isn't a sociopath.

We've had good solid couples before, but this season? Yeesh.

[Mrs. Hanson]

13 hours ago, Breedom said:

Shy will eventually stop sharing her thoughts and feelings with him, because who wants to be shot down all the time?

I am that way, at times, with my MIL.  She has corrected my grammar, twice, in front of others.  Yes I know it says more about her than me but it still hurts.  I am in my 50's, not nine.  And you are not my grammar teacher.  Heck, I TEACH KIDS HOW TO READ.

[RoxiP]

23 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

Because Dad cheated on Thais’s mom lol.

I'm thinking Dad is just as controlling as Patrick.  Thais is just trading one controlling man for another.

[1011101010001]

15 minutes ago, RoxiP said:

I'm thinking Dad is just as controlling as Patrick.  Thais is just trading one controlling man for another.

Is her mother deceased or are they estranged?  She never mentions her.

[Hotel Snarker]

So annoying how Bilal is able to see what is at stake for him and a need to protect himself but can’t understand why she would want the same for herself.

Also, if Bilal has been so busy creating generational wealth, then why does he need anything from her?

Oh, and please don’t get me started on him saying storybook romances aren’t real. No shit, Sherlock. Imagine telling your partner that being with him felt like it was straight out of a fairytale and being interrupted with such a rude reply. (“Didn’t mean to interrupt you but I’m gonna interrupt and keep talking anyway.”

Bilal has a gift for sucking the joy and life out of every room.

Instead of being grateful, he needs to be by himself.

Yve referring to her friend group as “the squad” is obnoxious. Makes it sound like some high school clique.

[Scout Finch]

On 7/18/2022 at 8:38 PM, Frozendiva said:

Emily and Kobe: Ooops, he spilled the secret to his friend. Temperature has some things right but is still very African about Kobe being the head of the household. Ems, unless Kobe is running late, you don't order his food for him when he is sitting next to you. You sure came to life when Temperature mentioned Kobe had some royal blood (no, not the band). No castle in Cameroon for you.

I'm sure they'll 'figure it out.'"

On 7/19/2022 at 8:05 AM, magemaud said:

No, Kristen, Brad and Elliott are Janice's children from her first marriage. Their last name is "Schreffler."  I have also seen references to another older sister, Adele, and since she's never mentioned on the show, she might possibly be Doctor FRED'S daughter from another marriage. 

Pretty sure it was on here or Previously TV that a babysitter or nanny of Ari's when she was growing up posted about a few times about how she witnessed how badly Ari was treated by her half-siblings and that's when she began self-harming (cutting).

[Scout Finch]

I found the thread of the woman who babysit a very young (5 or 6) Ari, so I had the self-harm part wrong. Further down the page she also talks about how toxic the family were. It's on Reddit though and I don't think we're supposed to post the link. Is that correct? Just put "I used to babysit Ariel's!" into the search box over there.

Edited July 21, 2022 by Scout Finch

[RoxiP]

I do think Temperature was a little heavy handed in the "we African men are the man of the house" rhetoric, but in some ways I feel he was just trying to give perspective to what is commonplace in their culture.  Obviously there are adaptations made in a different culture.  All relationships are negotiated and the problem here is that with her there is no room for negotiation - it is her way or the highway - and her parents just simply nod and go along.  They should have stopped that nonsense a long time ago.

[1011101010001]

54 minutes ago, RoxiP said:

I do think Temperature was a little heavy handed in the "we African men are the man of the house" rhetoric, but in some ways I feel he was just trying to give perspective to what is commonplace in their culture.  Obviously there are adaptations made in a different culture.  All relationships are negotiated and the problem here is that with her there is no room for negotiation - it is her way or the highway - and her parents just simply nod and go along.  They should have stopped that nonsense a long time ago.

I think that they are under the impression that because she is bossy they raised a strong woman and are self-congratulatory about that.

[Kath94]

2 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

I think that they are under the impression that because she is bossy they raised a strong woman and are self-congratulatory about that.

Yes.  What the parents think is "independent" is really "bossy and opinionated."

[magemaud]

2 hours ago, Kath94 said:

What the parents think is "independent" is really "bossy and opinionated."

May I add "stubborn and ignorant" to those personality traits? 

[Natalie68]

On 7/20/2022 at 10:37 PM, Scout Finch said:

I found the thread of the woman who babysit a very young (5 or 6) Ari, so I had the self-harm part wrong. Further down the page she also talks about how toxic the family were. It's on Reddit though and I don't think we're supposed to post the link. Is that correct? Just put "I used to babysit Ariel's!" into the search box over there.

GAH!  I cannot find it!!!  FINALLY FOUND IT!

Edited July 22, 2022 by Natalie68

[Breedom]

2 hours ago, Natalie68 said:

GAH!  I cannot find it!!!  FINALLY FOUND IT!

If we are to believe this babysitter, this explains a bit why Ari is so messed up and a perfect candidate for the show. Where's my counselors hat? Found it.  Leandro loved her at one point and now they are unable to get together again but she can't let go of the one person who accepted her. Then she would only have Bini, and what if that fell through? She's constantly threatening their relationship, testing him. Perhaps she thinks, is he only there for their son? Does she count for anything?  So she tries her hardest to make Bini jealous using Leandro as her pawn; she needs that affirmation that Bini loves her. At the same time, she's crazily insecure about Bini just talking with another woman and her imagination runs off the charts, terrified that he really doesn't love her after all. Janice isn't a bundle of nurturing either, which further complicates her need for approval.

[HelloOutThere]

The moment at dinner when Temperature was (paraphrasing) saying African women show their men respect, and Big Em said “I do show him respect!” and Temp looked her in the eyes and said “Do you — really?” 👀 

PRICELESS. You could see in Em’s eyes that she realized there was an imposter at the table: someone who wouldn’t buy her BS and kowtow to her “independent, strong willed” personality. She is nothing more than an immature spoiled child. She is like a cross between Veruca Salt and Violet Beauregarde (inclusive of the scene in which she starts uncontrollably “turning violet” and expanding into a huge mass)

And I blame the parents, especially dad, for never reigning her in. And now he gets to pay for her entire life, probably forever! They should kick her out for the second pregnancy but you know they won’t. Out of control kids become very reckless adults when they are enabled every step of the way. Hasn’t this family seen Willy Wonka? 🎩 

[anoninrva]

On 7/17/2022 at 11:44 PM, Adeejay said:

I wonder what Jibri’s agreement with his parents was.  Seems to me if they knew they didn’t have the funds to live on their own, they could have tried harder to make things work.  For example, help with the cooking and cleaning. Miona on the other hands, has been ready to leave from Day One.  I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings, but unless she has money that Jibri doesn’t know about, she is in for a rude awakening. 

I kind of hate to look at the fourth wall too closely, but this is a reenactment - they're already married.  It's quite possible this happened months after they were married, or never actually happened.  This couple in particular we know is all fake.

[anoninrva]

On 7/18/2022 at 10:44 PM, Fable said:

Okay, Yve is now saying she really has no contact with her family, and the "squad" is the only family she has, so I am wondering why the big need for a venue.

That was kind of sad to me.  Yve is 50 years old.  Her parents may not be around for much longer.  Siblings seemed to be implied too.

[anoninrva]

On 7/18/2022 at 11:38 PM, Frozendiva said:

Kara and Guillermo: Nice that he talked to his wise mom. Kara's bachelorette party was kinda lame. I wouldn't want one and I wouldn't want it to be the night before I got married. The wedding day is stressful enough with hair and makeup and the dress and the photos and all the guests. Who needs a hangover? She will be 30 and the partygirl life will come to an end with a job and responsibilities.

Considering that each friend brought a bottle of champagne, and she was still starting off with tequila shots, I think being blackout drunk was pretty likely, so it's understandable they couldn't show that.   I know this is the next episode, but her makeup reminded me of Tammy Faye Bakker.

[magemaud]

Bilal’s mother lectured Shaeeda along the lines of “It’s not important to always be right” but at the same time her Golden Boy is NEVER wrong!