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All Episodes Talk: The Fixed


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I kinda wish Iyanla hadn't spent so much time trying to get Tiffany to accept some blame for not seeing through the lying liar who lied. It was as if she couldn't believe that a wife may not have seen any signs. It was his fault for using her that way, not her fault for not knowing he was lying and gay.

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I think Iyanla wanted her to really let him have it. But I bet she takes more than 6 months to marry the next guy, hopefully. I wonder how deep Iyanla got with her past off camera and recognized a pattern of being vulnerable and was trying to shake her out of it. Poor girl just shut down.

And I may be wrong, but I got the vibe that he thought he could "start a conversation," aka Jay of the million kids and parlay that into a season.

Edited by VintageJ
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And I may be wrong, but I got the vibe that he thought he could "start a conversation," aka Jay of the million kids and parlay that into a season.

OMG VintageJ, I was coming here to say just that. Every week we thought it'd be a new episode and there was Jay with another 5 baby mamas.

I'm going to hell, but I laughed so hard at the young pastor's face when his family basically told him "No shit, Sherlock" when he came out. I'm glad they were supportive though. I wish him well. I think he'd have great success as an openly gay pastor.

Other than the excessive episodes, what bothered me about this truth standing adventure, was Iyanla's constant emphasis on this being taboo in the black church. Stop it. Being gay is taboo in the church period. Don't put that on the black church, exclusively. That type of talk is how the black church became the convenient scapegoat for the non-passage of gay marriage.

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Yeah, Iyanla needs to get out more, or read the newspaper. The Pope just fired a priest for announcing that he's gay.

Well there you go. Next Month on OWN: Iyanla visits the Vatican. Iyanla brings a giant bag of truth tools to Rome where she forces Pope Francis to face his demons. " Take me back to that moment...when you were just little Jorge in Argentina." Pope tears up and Iyanla cradles him in her bosom and rocks him back and forth. "Come own Pope! Let it out. That's the truth working its way through. Stand in that truth."
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Did we ever have any true healing with lumpy butt? Or was it just an hour of her being a nasty bastard? I didn't see any leaves out of the big purse or sitting in Iyanla's lap, no cradling, nothing but stank a dank.

And that shit was gross! How you have silicon leaking down your legs and you still nasty. If ever there was a time to siddown and be humble, this would be it.

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There are probably men still sweating her because of that mutation she's created on her lower back. I couldn't stop staring at those little chicken legs and wondering how she ever thought those things would support a gigantic fake ass like that. It's not humanly possible.

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It just felt like she totally let Dom off the hook for abandoning and threatening that boy. And then couldn't understand why Mom and Sis would be pissed off that they're left raising him while Dom badmouths them. She didn't lose custody for nothing. And yet Iyanla spent all her time raging at the mother. Granted, Mother's response to both daughter's abuse and not including her in the wedding was pretty foul. But she's clearly doing something right cuz that boy is sweet and loving and smart and the other daughter doesn't seem like a mess.

This is the second time she seemed to focus exclusively on the wrong person IMO. Mother was foul but what about her grown daughter's agency and willful actions? She spent no time on that. If I was the Mother I would have left as soon as Iyanla was in her face saying she didn't like her - because after that Iyanla was going to lay it all at her feet.

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Man, look. The day my mama pulls a gun on me is the day the cops come and get her ass. Point blank, period. The day she raises up to beat my ass, same thing. What you not gonna do is get away with beating me. And I'm grown too? The hell. You better beat my ass good because that's the last ass whipping you gonna issue on the outside.

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I'm surprised the the three generations of troubled women saw the light of day, this was previewed over a year ago.

 

Those women, especially the mama and grandma, need some heavy duty mental health care.  Shit, the daddy probably needs to sit right there alongside them in therapy.

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This family is a psychologist's dream. They could retire after the work it will take to heal these people, including the husband. And I'd love to know what happened to the oldest woman, the mother, when she was growing up. Because it IS learned behavior.

I wish Iyanla didn't have to tell them what to say, but could let it come out of them naturally.... however, with that said, I am not sure this bunch is able. I wish the youngest, the 21-year old who'd been stomped, had somehow found the strength to call the police when it happened so they could see the bruises or whatever. I know when you're a kid you never think about calling the cops on your parents, but she sounds like she suffered so much. The stepdaughter didn't deserve to be thrown into this situation, either... OMG, I cried right along with her.

The body language was incredible with this group. The one girl playing with her earring, I'd do that as a kid when I felt like i was in a tense or unhappy situation. The father with his arms clenched tightly across his chest.

I don't see the mother (middle person) changing her ways anytime soon. She keeps denying or saying she doesn't remember her violent acts. And she needed way too much prompting from Iyanla as to what to say. I hope I don't wind up reading about these people online in the news someday.

At least Bria is out and at college, and hopefully can carve a better life for herself.

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What Cooks said!!!!!!^^^^^^^^^

 

I didn't get any anticipated joy out of viewing this episode. The closest I have to snark is that GMA has crazy eyes. But from little we heard from her life I can see why. She did have that great trip game try though. I really think Iy had to spoon feed them because they did not have any tools to even start a process. Very sad episode. Those girls got me a few good times.

 

Debbie Thomas?? Why does that name sound familiar?

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The generational abuse was disturbing; I felt for Bria and the stepdaughter--even the day because he was caught in the middle. I, too, am glad Bria is off to college; I hope that she can break the cycle of abuse should she ever have a child.

 

I'm looking forward to the Debbie Thomas episode. I remember following her ice skating career back in the day; IIRC, after she retired from figure skating, she became an orthopedic surgeon, which pays VERY well, so I wonder what happened for her to experience such a shocking fall from grace. 

Edited by sereion1
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It really did seem like a short season. Even more so since the last episode was slated for last year until PENISJAY took over. We also have the three part season opener that I think I would have been well received in just 2.

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I am bewildered at what has happened to Debbie Thomas.    

I used to skate, have been around and met some Olympians, even met the famed Coach Mueller who trained Katarina Witt. That woman was scary.

 

 Debbie, came in third, got the bronze at the Olympics behind Liz Manley.   The battle of the Carmen's.

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Totally agree about Debi Thomas. It was so sad watching this episode. I missed the beginning did she say how she ended up with the alcoholic abuser?

Also, did they say if her son is with her ex or is he in foster care.

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Debi Thomas. I don't normally watch Iyanla, but I had to tune in for this episode. First African American to medal in the Winter Olympics, Stanford undergrad, medical school, board certified orthopedic surgeon...and now she's lost custody of her son, estranged from her family, lost her medical practice, and is living in one of the worst parts of Virginia with an alcoholic who beats her.

I feel like Debi's untreated mental illness is the main problem, whereas Iyanla seemed so focused on the drunk fiancé. If I had to guess, I'd say it was her mental illness that led to the break-up of her two marriages, her workplace conflicts, her family struggles, and her shitty taste in men. Drunk, abusive fiancé is the symptom, not the problem. If she had her own shit together, I doubt she'd look twice at that guy.

It's so sad how far Debi has fallen and it doesn't sound like anything is going to change. I wish Debi had been offered inpatient mental health treatment. She needs medication before anything else.

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Has Iyanla actually fixed anyone?  Because most of the people seem to go back to the same life they were living prior to her two day tornado.  She's still the same Iyanla from "Starting Over" (the best snarkfest ever), as annoying and as ineffectual as ever.

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I just found this show and it makes me so happy! I loved Iyanla on Starting Over. My sister and I would call each other every day after it was over and talk about it. Very upset when they took it off the air. I need Iyanla to fix my life....

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This episode broke my heart. She was my hero. I felt like I was a little girl all over again, near tears after watching her stumble during her routine. I can remember reading that she was going to become a doctor and thinking, "Ha! So take that, Katarina Witt, you yellow-toothed heifer!"

Debi's ill. No amount of bosom rocking from Iyanla can fix that. She has to first admit that she's ill. When she talked about her diagnosis, she said under her breath, "that's what they say." Her situation almost mirrors that of one of my family members. Iyanla did hit the nail on the head when she said Debi is distracting herself with the abusive alcoholic. Focusing on him allows her not to face her own issues. I'm incredibly sad for her. I pray that one of Debi's former colleagues, classmates, coaches, relatives, etc. saw this episode and offers some help to her. And I pray she accepts.

There is a homeless man here in DC who suffers with mental illness and has been in and out of jail for years. You'd never know if you hadn't read his story, but he was Harvard law classmates with Supreme Court Justice John Roberts.

Edited by charmed1
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I saw the episode with Debi Thomas last night.  Very, very sad.  I was annoyed with Iyanla though because Debbie needs more than a life coach, she needs serious therapy.  Does she need medication?  I don't know.  But I think she needs some serious therapy.  

 

Look, Debi Thomas was the only black girl in a sport black girls "don't do."  She must have had to deal with a lot of shit, both from blacks and whites.  I mean look at how people talk shit about the Williams sisters, and it's 2015.  If I were a therapist, I'd ask Debi what it was like for her, being a black girl, ice skating, how did she feel?  How did people treat her?  

 

For me, her mental illness makes a lot of sense, think about it.  I could see her getting a lot of flack from white people who resented her and from black people who resented her for being in "their" sport.  She was probably isolated, maybe that was when she started to shut down, maybe that was the way she dealt with the negativity.  Then, she gets good, so all the people who resented her, now love her and it's all "USA, USA" and "you're our hope.  You'll be the first black woman to get a gold medal at the Winter Olympics."  Then she doesn't get the gold, or the silver; and the public can turn on you so fast, especially in sports.  Maybe she got married so quickly to hide, to run away from everything.  I think that's what she's doing now, hiding running.  She wants to be where nobody knows her, where nobody remembers her.    I thought it was interesting that she's a black woman in an area where I don't think there are too many black people, and living with a white man, nothing wrong with either but I could see Debi running from it all.  "I don't want to be a skater, I don't want to be a doctor, I just want to hide."  

 

See, if I were a therapist, I'd try to get to the root of it all, why are you out here?  Why did you pick lousy men?  I wonder what's up with her family.  Have they tried to help her and she refused?  What are you running from?  Why are you hiding?  Maybe she never wanted to be an olympic skater or a doctor, maybe those were her family's dreams.  

 

The whole show was sad.  

Edited by Neurochick
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Debi Thomas. I don't normally watch Iyanla, but I had to tune in for this episode. First African American to medal in the Winter Olympics, Stanford undergrad, medical school, board certified orthopedic surgeon...and now she's lost custody of her son, estranged from her family, lost her medical practice, and is living in one of the worst parts of Virginia with an alcoholic who beats her.

I feel like Debi's untreated mental illness is the main problem, whereas Iyanla seemed so focused on the drunk fiancé. If I had to guess, I'd say it was her mental illness that led to the break-up of her two marriages, her workplace conflicts, her family struggles, and her shitty taste in men. Drunk, abusive fiancé is the symptom, not the problem. If she had her own shit together, I doubt she'd look twice at that guy.

It's so sad how far Debi has fallen and it doesn't sound like anything is going to change. I wish Debi had been offered inpatient mental health treatment. She needs medication before anything else.

I so agree with all of this. It was shocking to see what has happened to Debi Thomas. I remember her very well from those Olympic games.

 

I also agree that she certainly needs serious mental health assistance. I noticed that she did not seem drunk or high or "out of it" at all during the interviews, and spoke clearly and made sense - but she also had what psychologists call a very flat affect (they pronounce it AF-fekt for this.) That means she just doesn't react to anything with any emotion at all. You won't see shock, anger, joy, happiness - just kind of a blank stare and a shrug as a response, no matter what's going on. The flat affect can be a sign of severe depression, among other things.

 

I sure hope she can get professional care and that Iyanla, or somebody, does a followup. I did see the afterwords on the episode where it said she did go for some kind of counseling but is now right back where she was with the same man. It's going to take a lot more than just counseling to help somebody like this.

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Look, Debbie Thomas was the only black girl in a sport black girls "don't do."  She must have had to deal with a lot of shit, both from blacks and whites.  I mean look at how people talk shit about the Williams sisters, and it's 2015.  If I were a therapist, I'd ask Debbie what it was like for her, being a black girl, ice skating, how did she feel?  How did people treat her?  

 

I don't doubt for a moment that Debi had a tough time being a black girl in figure skating, but she was not the only black female figure skater in the '80s. Surya Bonaly of France was a rising star at that time, though she did not skate in the 1988 Olympics (hers were a bit later.)

 

I only mention that because I really think Debi's problems are far deeper than whatever she encountered in the figure skating world, difficult as that no doubt was.

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I don't doubt for a moment that Debi had a tough time being a black girl in figure skating, but she was not the only black female figure skater in the '80s. Surya Bonaly of France was a rising star at that time, though she did not skate in the 1988 Olympics (hers were a bit later.)

 

I only mention that because I really think Debi's problems are far deeper than whatever she encountered in the figure skating world, difficult as that no doubt was.

 

I get it, but Surya Bonaly was in France and the US has a completely different culture when it comes to racism.  As for deeper problems, I think being discriminated against, or having people say mean things to you as a child, can be very traumatic.  If you want to see deep problems, watch videos of Dr. Clark's "Doll Study."   I have heard some theories that trauma experienced early enough can change brain chemistry, so you never know what the root could be.  

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Debi Thomas. I don't normally watch Iyanla, but I had to tune in for this episode. First African American to medal in the Winter Olympics, Stanford undergrad, medical school, board certified orthopedic surgeon...and now she's lost custody of her son, estranged from her family, lost her medical practice, and is living in one of the worst parts of Virginia with an alcoholic who beats her.

I feel like Debi's untreated mental illness is the main problem, whereas Iyanla seemed so focused on the drunk fiancé. If I had to guess, I'd say it was her mental illness that led to the break-up of her two marriages, her workplace conflicts, her family struggles, and her shitty taste in men. Drunk, abusive fiancé is the symptom, not the problem. If she had her own shit together, I doubt she'd look twice at that guy.

It's so sad how far Debi has fallen and it doesn't sound like anything is going to change. I wish Debi had been offered inpatient mental health treatment. She needs medication before anything else.

Your post said it all.     I hope she gets the help she needs.    

Has Iyanla actually fixed anyone?  Because most of the people seem to go back to the same life they were living prior to her two day tornado.  She's still the same Iyanla from "Starting Over" (the best snarkfest ever), as annoying and as ineffectual as ever.

I totally agree with your post and want to add I think Iyanla is a joke.     She probably does more damage than good. 

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I've never watched this show (or Starting Over), but the draw of Debi Thomas lured me in.  I was swept up in the figure-skating fever when Debi was involved.

 

Debi's story is so sad.  Wow, her mental illness was on full display.  She definitely needs more help than a reality tv show can give, unless the next steps include intensive inpatient therapy.

 

Iyanla is too damn much.  She's so aggressive and confrontational.  She was a turn-off for me.

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Debi Thomas. I don't normally watch Iyanla, but I had to tune in for this episode. First African American to medal in the Winter Olympics, Stanford undergrad, medical school, board certified orthopedic surgeon...and now she's lost custody of her son, estranged from her family, lost her medical practice, and is living in one of the worst parts of Virginia with an alcoholic who beats her.

I feel like Debi's untreated mental illness is the main problem, whereas Iyanla seemed so focused on the drunk fiancé. If I had to guess, I'd say it was her mental illness that led to the break-up of her two marriages, her workplace conflicts, her family struggles, and her shitty taste in men. Drunk, abusive fiancé is the symptom, not the problem. If she had her own shit together, I doubt she'd look twice at that guy.

It's so sad how far Debi has fallen and it doesn't sound like anything is going to change. I wish Debi had been offered inpatient mental health treatment. She needs medication before anything else.

 

I sensed her mental illness as well.  I sincerely hope her family does not stop trying to reach her.

 

Neurochick, I agree with everything you have said.  Its tough being a black person that is good at things only white people are supposed to be good at.  You get hated by everybody and that is a difficult place to be.

 

I suspect that Debi is ashamed that she has disappointed her family so its easier for her to hide out in Appalachia and be abused by a loser than to face them.

 

 

Iyanla is too damn much.  She's so aggressive and confrontational.  She was a turn-off for me.

 

I don't think she handled Debi or Debi's boyfriend well at all.  They were not equipped to make the choices that she was asking them to make.  If she is going to give advice to mentally ill people and addicts, then she needs to go get trained and licensed.

Edited by ToukieSmith
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My problem with Iyanla is she's a performer.  She's not helping anybody, she's performing.  

 

Debi Thomas (I spelled her name right, yay!) probably has had mental health issues for years.  But because she was a good athlete, she had people to support her, to sit on her.   Once she left the sport, she was on her own.  

 

I was on another message board, some people called her a diva, said that's probably how she lost those jobs; some just said she's lazy and doesn't want to work.  

 

I don't agree.  Something wasn't right with her.  When Iyanla has someone on her show, no matter how dysfunctional they are, they want to look hot on TV.  Debi Thomas looked like she didn't care; her hair was a mess, she looked old and worn.  The woman needs some serious therapy, not a reality show.  

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I get it, but Surya Bonaly was in France and the US has a completely different culture when it comes to racism.  

 

That, and Surya really was more of a star and top skater in the 90's, while Debi's stardom was in the 80's, so she still was really on her own as far as race goes. Interestingly enough, though, she got the silver medal at Nationals in 1985, right below Tiffany Chin--the first Asian-American woman (and, for that matter, the first non-Caucasian woman--Debi was number two a year later) to ever win gold in the US. And since they only sent two skaters to Worlds that year, that made for the first truly multi-ethnic World team for the US. So she was making history the year before she even won Nationals the first time.

Edited by UYI
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I'm another one who's never watched this show before but tuned in to see Debi Thomas. I remember being very impressed with her when I heard that she was a student at Stanford while training and competing and planned to go to medical school.

Geez this was sad. After learning she wasn't a substance abuser, I figured it had to be a mental health issue considering the lost jobs, failed practice and marriages and a child she doesn't see. You would hope that such an intelligent woman with extensive medical training would be more open to considering that she might have actual health issues but I guess that's not how it works

I understood when she said she was "frustrated"--she doesn't think she's mentally ill and had achieved greatness in her life and now finds herself broke and in a trailer. She must feel extremely frustrated at not being able to figure this out and fix it. I do hope that somehow someone is able to get her to accept the possibility that she needs professional help and not just from a life coach.

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I also just watched to see what happened to Debi Thomas.  I have a quick question for anyone who either saw or recorded the show--my dvr cut off in the middle of the update.  Can anyone tell me what it said?  I got that she went back home after 30 days, moved back in with him, left him  and to a shelter, then went back to him, then it cut off when they put up something about two weeks later....

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Basically she's back with abuser and they're planning to marry. There was no mention as to whether she reconnected with her son, which I doubt since she hardly had any contact with him before the show. SMH

Edited by Enero
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Iyanla is too damn much. She's so aggressive and confrontational. She was a turn-off for me.

I agree. Iyanla uses the same approach for all her guests and it just doesn't work like that. The screaming, bosom rocking, pulling out childhood photos and bag of Walmart reading glasses is not a catch all for every person. I get that she's amping up the drama for the purposes of television, but she didn't need it for this episode. The name Debi Thomas was enough of a draw for ratings. Nobody was tuning in to see Iyanla's red french tips and that Red Foxx voice. They wanted to see Debi. She has to realize some of her guests are living with serious illnesses and are very fragile. Maia Campbell comes to mind. I was too through with her when she took a giant photo of Maia's deceased mother, Bebe, threw it to the ground and ordered the girl to talk to the photo.

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I had no idea this was even a show until this morning when I read a HuffPo article about it featuring Debi Thomas, someone I simply adored way back when. My shitty Fios doesn't have the episode On Demand but I did see a few clips online on the OWN site. And OMG...my heart just breaks for her. She seems so clearly mentally ill and with absolutely no grasp on the reality of it.

No crappy bottom-tier basic cable show with some female version of Dr Phil can save her. I really hope someone with the means and a sincere motivation can step up because it seems like Debi can't do it herself.

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I saw the episode with Debi Thomas last night.  Very, very sad.  I was annoyed with Iyanla though because Debbie needs more than a life coach, she needs serious therapy.  Does she need medication?  I don't know.  But I think she needs some serious therapy.  

 

Look, Debi Thomas was the only black girl in a sport black girls "don't do."  She must have had to deal with a lot of shit, both from blacks and whites.  I mean look at how people talk shit about the Williams sisters, and it's 2015.  If I were a therapist, I'd ask Debi what it was like for her, being a black girl, ice skating, how did she feel?  How did people treat her?  

 

For me, her mental illness makes a lot of sense, think about it.  I could see her getting a lot of flack from white people who resented her and from black people who resented her for being in "their" sport.  She was probably isolated, maybe that was when she started to shut down, maybe that was the way she dealt with the negativity.  Then, she gets good, so all the people who resented her, now love her and it's all "USA, USA" and "you're our hope.  You'll be the first black woman to get a gold medal at the Winter Olympics."  Then she doesn't get the gold, or the silver; and the public can turn on you so fast, especially in sports.  Maybe she got married so quickly to hide, to run away from everything.  I think that's what she's doing now, hiding running.  She wants to be where nobody knows her, where nobody remembers her.    I thought it was interesting that she's a black woman in an area where I don't think there are too many black people, and living with a white man, nothing wrong with either but I could see Debi running from it all.  "I don't want to be a skater, I don't want to be a doctor, I just want to hide."  

 

See, if I were a therapist, I'd try to get to the root of it all, why are you out here?  Why did you pick lousy men?  I wonder what's up with her family.  Have they tried to help her and she refused?  What are you running from?  Why are you hiding?  Maybe she never wanted to be an olympic skater or a doctor, maybe those were her family's dreams.  

 

The whole show was sad.  

Very well said; not much to add other than the fact that Iyanla mention in an article that her performance at the Olympics, specifically, the infamous fall, was the catalyst to her fall from grace. Exepectaions for her win the gold were massive, and when she fell short, she likely felt like she failed everyone, including herself. I'm willing to bet that she has had time shaking off that moment, even though it occured nearly 30 years ago--and it has carried over to her personal and professional life. 

 

I would love to hear her family's side of the story, and wonder why they didn't appear on camera for support. I also want to know what happen that allowed her to lose custody of her son, and if there was history of domestic violence, and she's living in squalor with her boyfriend, I wonder they had visits from CPS--a bed bug infested trailer is no place for a child--is no place for anyone--let alone children to stay.

 

I do agree that as much as I love Iylana, she didn't get too the root of the problem, and it's going to take more than a lilfe coach to help Debi. She needs extensive threapy. Such a tragic story, I hope she gets the help she needs and rebounds from the dark hole she's in.

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Very well said; not much to add other than the fact that Iyanla mention in an article that her performance at the Olympics, specifically, the infamous fall, was the catalyst to her fall from grace. Exepectaions for her win the gold were massive, and when she fell short, she likely felt like she failed everyone, including herself. I'm willing to bet that she has had time shaking off that moment, even though it occured nearly 30 years ago--and it has carried over to her personal and professional life. 

 

 

 

Debi, by her own admission, gave up once she missed the first combination of her long program at the Olympics. She wanted it to be perfect, but once she missed it, she just lost whatever spirit she had to fight for the gold (and she was leading after the short program, which had been perfect). She said so herself in this interview at Worlds, the month after the Olympics:

 

 

Here are her Olympic performances, for anyone who wants to see them:

 

 

 

I'm curious if her old coach Alex McGowan is still alive/might reach out to her. 

Edited by UYI
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