S05.E10: The Home Wrecker & The Nervous Wreck

[PrincessPurrsALot]

Quote

Raydean drops a bombshell on Rick; Lacey confronts Antoine about cheating accusations; Kevin wants an answer from Tiffany; Chance puts his heart on the line; Indie is faced with a big decision; Branwin has a breakdown. Martel keeps a secret.

Original air date 2022.05.06

We all know that Raydean's bombshell is that she's married.  Will Rick finally catch the clue that has been slapping him in the face this entire time? 

 

Kevn wants Tiffany to pretend she is madly in love with him.  If she says yes, he may drag her back to his cave by her hair.  

I fear Chance will pop the question; this time it won't be "can I stick it in every hole you have?".  I sincerely hope that giggling dolphin Tayler says no, both for her sake and, most importantly, for the sake of her children.  Please do not raise your girls to think that abuse equals love. 

Indie is faced with a big decision.  I believe Mama Indie has the answer for her - pack your shit, put it in the car, and get your daughter and yourself back to Maryland now.  I said, "Now, Indie".  "Now!"  Yolanda is so far out of patience for Harry's games he is lucky her boot is not firmly implanted in his ass.

Didn't we already see Branwin have a breakdown?  Is she reconsidering her decision to marry Chazz when she had been out for a minute?    Is she thinking that he is not her knight in shining armor, ready to whisk her away to his magical kingdom where there is no addiction, no need to strip for a living, no need to work at all? Why do these women think that men who are trolling prison babe websites are wealthy? 

Martel, man of so many words, keeps a secret.  Will anyone notice? 

[anoninrva]

I was really hoping that Harry was cooking for his daughter at the end, but I was disappointed.  Really, this whole season has been disappointing.  Chazz and Lacey seem like they're on borrowed time.  Chance still seems dangerous. The promise rings were icky.  I'm glad Indie got out, at least.

[renatae]

This is one weird group, more than usual it seems. None of these people seem to have anything close to a future.

Martel, with the bump on a log personality, (when he's not being outright verbally abusive) allows that he's always felt that *he's* the catch, so I guess the lucky lady had better get down on her knees and start groveling.

Antoine, another slug without a personality who thinks he's God's gift to womankind, will not be missed. I'm breathing a sigh of relief. I hope Lacey gets over him yesterday.

Lacey and Martel's girlfriend have such terrible taste in men - like just about every woman on the show. But it would be more understandable if the guys had a glimmer of a soul.

Which reminds me of Branwyn's friend saying that Courtney's "the kind of guy you instantly vibe with." Yeah, as soon as I connected with those dead eyes and that monotone voice, I was captivated.

At least I can be happy that Indie left Harry's butt in the dust. I hope her little girl will get over him soon as well.

ETA: Oh, no! Just found out Lacey is pg with Antoine. Awful.

 

Edited May 7, 2022 by renatae

[PrincessPurrsALot]

With Kaylah, I can imagine that 13 years ago, as a young woman, Martel had some appeal.  He likely had money to flash around, a core group of friends or hangers on; from a young person's perspective, he was one of the cool kids.  Being a few years older than her and attractive (when he can keep his eyes open) would help.  Also, she was more likely to believe his cockiness was earned.  Then she waits 13 years for his return.  While his mom may have said he was unlikely to ever be faithful, I'm sure his family was happy to have someone else share the burden of helping him financially and emotionally while he was locked up. 

Now he comes out of prison and wants nothing more than to get high, hang with his friends, and go to the club.  He's the same ass; she's grown.  She's had 13 years to become a full-fledged adult who worked for what she has.  While she needs to work on not flying off the handle the second she feels she's been "disrespected", she deserves a fellow adult, not an overgrown child who heard the Sesame Street saying, "I'm the most important person in the world" and forgot the last part, "to me".  Martel is worth a lay if you want to hit it and quit it.  He's not worth more than that. 

[1011101010001]

3 hours ago, PrincessPurrsALot said:

With Kaylah, I can imagine that 13 years ago, as a young woman, Martel had some appeal.  He likely had money to flash around, a core group of friends or hangers on; from a young person's perspective, he was one of the cool kids.  Being a few years older than her and attractive (when he can keep his eyes open) would help.  Also, she was more likely to believe his cockiness was earned.  Then she waits 13 years for his return.  While his mom may have said he was unlikely to ever be faithful, I'm sure his family was happy to have someone else share the burden of helping him financially and emotionally while he was locked up. 

Now he comes out of prison and wants nothing more than to get high, hang with his friends, and go to the club.  He's the same ass; she's grown.  She's had 13 years to become a full-fledged adult who worked for what she has.  While she needs to work on not flying off the handle the second she feels she's been "disrespected", she deserves a fellow adult, not an overgrown child who heard the Sesame Street saying, "I'm the most important person in the world" and forgot the last part, "to me".  Martel is worth a lay if you want to hit it and quit it.  He's not worth more than that. 

He is so low energy I bet he’s a dud in the sack. 

[DanaMB]

I feel like this season was short. We got longer episodes, but fewer? I also noticed most of the storylines took place over a week or two, maybe a month for Harry. 

[Gobi]

13 minutes ago, DanaMB said:

I feel like this season was short. We got longer episodes, but fewer? I also noticed most of the storylines took place over a week or two, maybe a month for Harry. 

Chazz and what’s her name’s story only lasted four days, five at most.

[1011101010001]

4 hours ago, DanaMB said:

I feel like this season was short. We got longer episodes, but fewer? I also noticed most of the storylines took place over a week or two, maybe a month for Harry. 

Yeah and after being spoiled with several back to back seasons we have to wait for the next season of Life After Lockup.  

[Jeanne222]

Brandywine is just the strangest , well one of the strangest, women on this show!  What was with her during that bed scene?  She's certainly NO virgin bride!

[Pepper Mostly]

Branwyn thought she could swallow her gorge and endure the pasty, cringeworthy attentions of Chazz for at least long enough to take out a life insurance policy on him. Confronted with the creepy reality, her nerve failed her. 

[Gobi]

1 hour ago, Pepper Mostly said:

Branwyn thought she could swallow her gorge and endure the pasty, cringeworthy attentions of Chazz for at least long enough to take out a life insurance policy on him. Confronted with the creepy reality, her nerve failed her. 

Yeah, she wasn’t going to swallow anything.

[PrincessPurrsALot]

4 hours ago, Jeanne222 said:

Brandywine is just the strangest , well one of the strangest, women on this show!  What was with her during that bed scene?  She's certainly NO virgin bride!

While I think Branwin expresses herself in a totally OTT way, she was consistent in telling Chaz she was working on being comfortable.  She also shared that she really has not had sex sober in her life.  She is used to being high or drunk and having sex without real emotional attachment.  Chaz is pushing so damn hard for her to not just want him physically but to be absolutely emotionally in tune with and attached to him.  He is looking for her to say he is her everything.  She is still figuring out who she is when she is not drugged out.  

She was physically, albeit gently, pushing him away and he kept moving in closer and putting his hands on her.  He was lucky she didn't shove him into a wall to get away from him.  He does not read the room at all. 

He's not wrong for thinking her friends aren't the greatest.  Her female friend was grinding her teeth and twitching. She was one step from telling us bugs were crawling under her skin. I'm sure her friend told herself she just needed a little taste to calm herself down before being on camera.   

Chaz is a bottomless bucket of need.  I am not surprised he has been married so many times and, other than the one that died, they all left.  No woman is capable of making him feel secure.  He needs to work on his own issues before dragging an unstable ex-con who is working on how to exist without drugs and booze into his world.  

Chaz and neanderthal Kevin's friend seem to hold the same outdated belief: if a woman has sex with a man she will become attached and be in love. Tiffany was not angry at Kevin's BS because she had sex with him and was now madly in love with him like his keg friend suggested.  She made a bad decision hooking up with a clown who is desperately trying to prove all of the women want him.  He may have seemed okay when she was in prison.  Once she was actually around him, she found herself recoiling from him. Sex was likely obligation, not desire.  Chaz is hoping Branwin will have sex with him.  If she does, it will also be out of a sense of obligation.  In his desperation brain, he would tell himself it was desire.    

[1011101010001]

Chaz has all the sex appeal of a scout troop leader.

[anoninrva]

4 hours ago, Pepper Mostly said:

Branwyn thought she could swallow her gorge and endure the pasty, cringeworthy attentions of Chazz for at least long enough to take out a life insurance policy on him. Confronted with the creepy reality, her nerve failed her. 

Mrs. Anoninrva says that Dr Drew has mentioned those baby voices could be related to childhood sexual trauma.  Being a drug-addled stripper probably correlates as well.   As much as I generally don't ascribe pure motives to the contestants on this show, she really did seem uncomfortable to me, and as far as we know, she's been clean and sober.

[ChristmasJones]

I think another facet of Branwin's anxiety when they were in the bedroom was that she knew deep down that she was not physically attracted to Chaz, and this moment was when she would have to force herself to do it.  I think the other thing about always being under the influence was tru, but I don't believe that is the entire reason. 

 

[JenE4]

Oh, no! I missed the live chat for the finale? Good thing they have continuous seasons of love before, during, and after lockup so we never need to be without these delusional doofuses.

Aw, poor Chance did his best construction paper and glitter crafts and even got a princess carriage—with crowns—and these little girls aren’t having it. Their gut instincts are something dire is afoot. Sir, I’m no equine expert, but I don’t think horses are supposed to eat candy. What happened to apples or carrots?

This marriage by proxy thing seems like a scam—why do I feel like this is suddenly going to be all the rage on this show? Lock ‘em down while they’re still locked up!

”Theresa” is your best friend and yet you’re not respecting his name (T-lay) and pronouns?! He has a beard for god’s sake! That should help you remember he’s now a groomsman, not a bridesmaid! Moms, you’re going to pass up the strip club?!? Everyone knows they have the best shrimp Alfredo in the county!

Goddamnit! Did that crawling ad just say freaking Mama June is going to be on next week?! We actually have to wait for a Love [preposition] Lockup season?! I guess if I forced myself to watch any single Mama June commercial that has played a dozen times every episode this whole season, I would have known that!

Girl, I’d be crying and nauseated if I had to have sex with Chazz, too. Maybe this is why you should have given it more than 5 minutes out of prison before marrying him…but it’s also why he didn’t let you take more than 5 minutes of seeing him in person.

Aw. He got the girls rings, too?! This is actually pretty cute…if I didn’t know this was Chance that she ended up marrying! Can we go to the fidget store yet?! These kids have been waiting all day!

So Lacey is scared to break up with Antoine because he might relapse? I think he might relapse over the stress of being in a relationship with you.

Wait. What?! Tiffany is upset that Kevin was talking to other girls, so their solution is to bring in another girl that they can both “talk to.” Well, good luck with all that, I guess.

Turry is getting breakfast in bed. Indie didn’t answer his call! Yes, girl!

Rick is acting like he’s dumping Raydean. I don’t think it’s really your choice here. She told you she’s in love with her wife! Wow! The audacity that he’s not going anywhere and she can still use him if need be.

Lacey is pregnant with Antoine’s spawn?! Oh, you idiot!

Huh, there’s no women chomping at the bit to date the caveman and his felon? Who would have guessed?

Indie is still talking to the psychic and Harry—not sure which is worse.

Okay, how many weeks are we in before we’re released (new episodes)?

[1011101010001]

3 hours ago, JenE4 said:

Can we go to the fidget store yet?! 

I thought that fidget stuff was like five years ago lol.

[JenE4]

11 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

I thought that fidget stuff was like five years ago lol.

Fidget spinners spun off a whole industry. Poppits or push-pop bubbles are the latest craze in fidget toys. But my kid wanted a “fidget advent calendar” this past Christmas, so they got 25 different little plastic do-dads to click and flip and spin or whatever. I can imagine there being a whole store devoted to fidget gadgets in a city…

Okay, I googled. This must be the fidget store in St Louis that the kids wanted to go to https://www.fidget-hq.com/

No wonder why these kids do desperately needed a fidget toy. They couldn’t sit still in that carriage even with a whole Princess picnic to keep them occupied.

Edited May 9, 2022 by JenE4

[PrincessPurrsALot]

The kids were bored, cold, and tired.  If Chance actually had the skills to be a good parent, he would have delayed his plans when he realized the kids were not into it.  One was shivering.  We already know dad of the year is never going to be awarded to him.  I think the show thought we would find the whole thing sweet and romantic.  It again showed that he is garbage.  He knows how to be a parent when it's performative.   He does not listen or care about the children's needs.  

[tvfanatic13]

To all of the live posters on here, I never get to watch live but I read along with your posts while watching later and I just want to thank you all for making me howl every. Single. Week! See you all soon! 
On topic- I need to see Yolanda in a show where she travels to get these women away from these guys. Please Sharp, make it happen. 

[Keywestclubkid]

She is NOT into Chaz physically.. the way she manipulated that whole situation to GET OUT away from him … unless he is good with a sexless marriage some people can’t force themselves to fake a sexual attraction and follow through with it 

[Keywestclubkid]

Turry thinking she Won and him disrespecting her just like he Indy … Dumb 

[Mothra]

I need some guidance.  I feel I'm wrong, but I don't know how to fix this.

When Chance got out of prison, he was horrible and scary, and I figured he was going to beat Taylerr up at the very least.  But it seems to me that as the season progressed, Chance really made an effort and changed his behavior, being more gentle and protective of T. and her daughters.  I think he might turn out to be a nice guy (albeit with a pile-driving dick). 

Help me back onto the Chance hate train--I don't want to like *any* of these guys, but Chance is growing on me despite myself.

[Gobi]

13 minutes ago, Mothra said:

I need some guidance.  I feel I'm wrong, but I don't know how to fix this.

When Chance got out of prison, he was horrible and scary, and I figured he was going to beat Taylerr up at the very least.  But it seems to me that as the season progressed, Chance really made an effort and changed his behavior, being more gentle and protective of T. and her daughters.  I think he might turn out to be a nice guy (albeit with a pile-driving dick). 

Help me back onto the Chance hate train--I don't want to like *any* of these guys, but Chance is growing on me despite myself.

Just remind yourself that Chance only looked good compared to the other ex-cons on the show.

[PrincessPurrsALot]

A few things to remember about Chance:

• He flies off the handle at any minor inconvenience
• He pushed for his plans for the engagement even though the girls were so cold they were shivering
• Once he learned Tayler was in the ER because of an illness related to sex, he saw it as a badge of honor instead of thinking how they make sure that does not happen again

The show likes to try to redeem some of the weasels at the end of the season.  I don't think Chance has changed.  He just cleaned up the visuals.