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S26.E11: Season Finale


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28 minutes ago, Andyourlittledog2 said:

He keeps telling them to 'fight for our love', 'fight for our relationship'.

Fight what?  Their own gut instincts? Their better judgment?   It's not like anyone is trying to keep this Romeo and Juliet made flesh apart is there? No one is trying to thwart their love?  It's just Clayton, being a complete jackass, that is stressing the supposed relationship. If anyone should be fighting 'for the relationsip' it's Clayton not the women.

When I think about it I think Gabby came back because Rachel was alone. Rachel looked horrified, IMO, because she was alone and suddenly F1 and she had no idea what that meant or what to do next. She probably thought Gabby would stay too but when she left Rachel was cut adrift and now dealing with Clayton as the default 'winner'. Gabby and Rachel seem to really bond and like each other so I think Gabby came back to help Rachel and stand by her so she wouldn't be left standing alone in an impossible situation. They beelined toward each other and kind of were each other's lifeline. The entire Rose Ceremony Gabby was staring daggers at Clayton so she didn't come back for him that's for sure.

And after he begged them to stay and told them both the same lines (again) he now is ready to dump them and try to get Susie back. I'm surprised he isn't currently buried out there on the tundra somewhere.

Perhaps he meant mud wrestling?   

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Brilliant - shenae would have been perfect. I do wonder of Cassie will be the next bachlorette. I wish they wouod reach way back and have roberto for bachelor( inless hes taken) or Rodney!!!

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4 hours ago, chocolatine said:

No, it's a pretty high-profile relationship as far as reality TV famewhores go. Just last week there was an article on the People website about her boyfriend writing love songs for her. (Apparently he's a country musician.)

Maybe next week People magazine can do an article about the ex-boyfriend who is writing a country song about his ex girlfriend who dumped him to go on The Bachelor. 

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22 hours ago, Kiss my mutt said:

Nick keeps looking better and better. He speaks the truth. 

I have always had a soft spot for him despite his many flaws, not least because he has an actual brain and is thoughtful and articulate.  I like that in a guy.

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3 minutes ago, Alexander Pope said:

I have always had a soft spot for him despite his many flaws, not least because he has an actual brain and is thoughtful and articulate.  I like that in a guy.

He's not a muscle-bound meathead, which most of the guys have been in recent years. He may have even read a book!

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On 3/14/2022 at 8:21 PM, dizzyd said:

The acoustics of this place are pretty good. Anyone know where that is?

I do, I do! I know this was answered upthread, but the Harpa Opera House in Reykjavik. Beautiful views over the water through those windows in the daytime. The church Clayton faked repentence at was Hallgrimskirkja, and you can go to the top to see views of the city. I spent a few days in Iceland awhile back and it was absolutely gorgeous. Loved both those buildings.

I've been massively behind on this show and considered just dropping the season, but MAN am I glad I caught up over the past few days! What a glorious trainwreck. It feels vindicating seeing Clayton crash and burn so, so badly. I have been watching with all the wrong reasons glee. WHAT A PRIIIIICKKK!! DRAG HIM!

I like whoever suggested 2 Bachelorettes (but keep them the whole season this time). I'd totally be down for Susie/Gabby if both of them eviscerate Clayton tonight. It worked on Joe Millionaire (not to mention blast from the past Double Shot of Love). 

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‘Oh I can’t not watch it’ was the gobsmacked reaction of Rachel Green aka Jennifer Aniston to the Chandler-Monica proposal on ‘Friends.’ Most of us are probably not at that level of fixation and a ‘freewill checkup’ is a recommended procedure in maintaining one’s mental health. We could – and probably should – not watch. But we’ve come this far, damn it. A man who climbed Mt Everest was asked why he did it. His famous and inarguable response: ‘Because it’s there.’ The finale is there. And so we trek on even if the reward is merely to see the other side of the mountains.

Things, society and relationships may have changed since the days of getting a second phone line for the kids or paying a premium for call waiting since the phone was often tied up, passing notes and going on actual dates but the largest change is that, once upon a time, courtship appeared to be a mostly happy pursuit. Flirtation, glances, kisses, smiles, laughter. Hormones surging. Endorphins flowing.

Relationships these days, especially on a show ostensibly about relationships, resemble little more than a grief counseling session. Suspicions, accusations, betrayals, long faces, floods of tears, shaking of heads, stomping down hallways or staircases or merely collapsing in a heap. Coincidentally, that also describes the unfortunate audience watching this mess. And we don’t have the benefit of sherpas to help us slog through it.

The Icelandic church features impressive architecture and impressive vocals from a chorale. We are grateful for the beautiful harmonies because it very easily could have been a soundtrack featuring Iceland’s most prominent export Björk shrieking like she slammed a car door on her finger. Is Clayton here to reinforce his faith he spoke of earlier? To seek spiritual guidance? No, he’s talking about himself again. The selfie generation. Emphasis on self.

Jesse’s façade is cracking a bit as he wiggles his gloved fingers and clenches his fists. It’s clear he’s grown tired of Clayton’s antics and general wishy-washy nature and would like to give our reality TV star a leather-bound slap of reality. Clayton is expending more emotional effort on excusing his actions the night before and casting Susie as the villain than he has on any date or at any time during his season. ‘She made me have sex…with two other people!’ is an alibi a 15 year-old might employ – if the 15 year old were lucky (he thinks) enough to experience such a thing.

Let us hope the geothermal heating is cranked up sufficiently to compensate for the bare arms sported by Gabby & Rachel. Is that a block of ice the roses are resting on? Is it a metaphor for Clayton’s emotional range? How have we resisted the urge to give him more derogatory nicknames over the season? And why are they whispering? They’re the only ones there.

Over the years, various Bachelorettes have displayed what amounted to intense crushes, neediness and desperation, biological clocks ticking loudly, competitive fire, and childlike pick-me gold-star jealousy and naivete. But Gabby & Rachel remind those who may have read Stephen King’s ‘The Long Walk’ of protagonist Ray who, after fending off his rivals in a life-or-death endurance hike, keeps trudging along out of a strange, unknowable compulsion. The two are locked on target, or appear to be, and any emotional attachment is almost incidental to simply being the last woman standing.

Clayton arrives in a topcoat made out of your mother’s plaid Herculon sofa. He should probably crawl under some furniture now as he delivers a horribly slanted and selective version of the truth. They may be curious about Susie’s whereabouts but they’re much more curious about roses and proposals. Clayton has mentioned ‘intimacy’ more times than the entire run of Dr Ruth’s radio show. The remaining ladies prove it’s possible for just two people to scatter in random directions as Gabby slinks into the darkness and Rachel down the long set of stairs. Their minders are there to listen to but also to keep the cast from abandoning the production entirely.

Gabby gets The Explanation first and can’t resist the rolling-hand get-on-with-it motion. Either Gabby is walking to find a way out of the building or she’s pacing using the largest floor area possible.

Rachel, predictably, is the most shattered of the three and hyperventilating. It’s difficult to devise snappy commentary about Clayton at this point, if only because it seems he doesn’t truly understand the concept and execution of The Bachelor despite all his blather about The Journey. His talk of ‘love XYZ more’ or ‘my love for XYZ is different’ sounds like a kid sorting his candy on Halloween night. It’s all about possession and hoarding. We’ve seen some obvious slam dunks and some surprises in final threes and finales. We’ve even seen switching of partners after the fact. But we haven’t seen someone this indecisive due to flat-out emotional immaturity. Clayton claims he loves all three. The truth is he doesn’t love any of them. They’re merely trophies. But surely a jock would know that there’s only one trophy at a time for one winner at time?

The cruelty of Clayton’s revelation is compounded by the agony of having to use those coarse, rough brown paper towels to dab tears away. Unabsorbent scourge of school restrooms everywhere. Rachel’s makeup is a battlefield casualty but things have to be resolved now no matter how strung out the cast may be as the accounting department isn’t paying for another night at the hotel or to change flights back to the States.

They’ve been telegraphing Rachel’s codependent nature since the first minutes of the first episode so it’s little surprise that after being put through the wringer she still accepts a rose. Gabby, a bit older and wiser, perhaps in spite of herself, votes nay as we break into a spontaneous chorus of ‘For she’s a jolly good fellow.’

Yes, Rachel, she’s leaving, or appears to be. Rachel is casting her gaze around like a Price Is Right contestant desperate for advice on bidding on the vacation package. ‘Did I win?’ she wonders. Well, no, dear. Standing alone at the end is usually the moment of triumph. Of release. Of vindication. Of euphoria. All you get for now is the gloom of the Arctic Circle winter and the gloomier prospect of Clayton returning forthwith.

Gabby scores some overtime points by using ‘volition’ in a sentence. ‘I’m not trying to create any turmoil.’ An actual Clayton quote. Gabby snaps the ball over her QB’s head and fumbles the game and her dignity away by coming back to accept a rose. How long was the off-camera discussion with the frantic production crew, we must wonder.

Bachelor alumni have gone from party pics in an album that spark fond but infrequent memories to becoming a nigh-on constant media presence that do little more than annoy with their quasi-celebrity behavior. Clare and Nick together? I’ll need another drink. And Advil. Who borrowed Clare’s eyebrows and forgot – or refused – to return them? And why is Agnes Moorehead’s eyebrow pencil from the ‘Bewitched’ era still being used by the makeup department at ABC?

Clare’s face has more botulinum toxin in it than a tuna canning plant where the power failed mid-shift during a summer heat wave. She’s making Nicole Kidman look as expressive as Lon Chaney. Nick is critical of Clayton but that hasn’t stopped him from using the same barber shop as Clayton, or possibly none at all.

Clayton’s own family are not impressed with the explanation from their own flesh and blood. Or maybe Clayton has slipped into speaking Icelandic after immersion in the language for a few days. Mom is still adjusting to the thought of her boy rutting like a whitetail buck on successive nights while he sought a third night and was upset he didn’t get it. Dad pours a 5-gallon bucket of cold water on Clayton’s elaborate explanation and plea for advice. Clayton’s mute brothers are hoping they might find some mystic Viking runes carved in a rock face that will give them the power of speech.

Gabby’s got, well, the gift of the cheerleader gab and can deliver PR patter with relative ease. Mom breaks down immediately and hangs the big IF out there, thus ruining the mood before the champagne bubbles have a chance to pop.

Gabby, despite her questionable decision to remain, actually seems a good egg and is deserving of an immediate one-off spinoff show just to get her out of there and paired up with a sane person. Call it Gabby’s Gambols or The Colorado Canoodle or something. Don’t make her The Bachelorette and don’t make her wait. Have her slip out the kitchen door and on the first flight out.

Mom’s Gabby-induced frown is now a Rachel-reactive grin. Rachel is clearly more their cup of tea – a family environ where Hallmark Cards are regarded as authentic, even poetic expressions of sentiment. A place where there is a large framed photo of the family – and the dog, if there is one - grinning on the beach at dusk in matching white Oxford shirts, rolled-up khakis and bare feet. These photos may be required by law in some counties.

All ten of Rachel’s acrylic nails have been restored to flight status and she is laying it on heavy and thick with the parents. ‘He’s given me every reason to continue’ – except for the inconvenience of two other women whom he’s currently ‘in love’ with. Susie’s still in Iceland? Hopefully it’s at the airport waiting for the fog to clear so she can fly home. But someone on the crew probably stole her passport.

Kaitlyn is now on the couch. She obviously didn’t read or follow the instructions that came with the Transform Yourself Into A Kardashian At Home kit. Rodney says ‘It’s so tough to think about the position he’s in right now.’ Does Rodney mean the position Clayton put HIMSELF in? Clayton has been ‘following his heart’ or has at least claimed to be. It’s got him running in circles.

Edited by Rainsong
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The fact that they didn't both just take those roses and shove them down Claytons big dumb mouth is beyond me. How did he see this playing out? Is he planning to leave this franchise and join Sister Wives? Now these two poor women are going to find out that, after him basically begged them to stay, he's ditching them anyway. What a hot mess.

No wonder they brought Clare in for this hot mess, she's probably thrilled that she's no longer their worst contestant in the last ten years!

Edited by tennisgurl
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On 3/15/2022 at 9:22 AM, Jax7917 said:

<snip>

I have to give these women credit for walking in heels up and down those stairs 5452585 times. I would have just taken my shoes off and said screw it and screw him . I tried counting the amount of times these people had to walk up and down and those were no easy steps to climb!

These women are destroying the delicate bone structure of their feet. In a way, it harkens back to feet binding. On any of the RHW shows, when the women are on the beach, they hide their deformed feet under the sand. I in no way understand how it's worth it.

Edited by Rebky
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I can’t stand this guy. To completely top off my dislike and distaste, when he and Susie were in the Hut of Love, he said, “Well Susie, we have went through a wild journey…”.  “We have went,” is my grammatical nails on a chalkboard. 
 

One more thing. I’m begging someone to make a gif of Gabby’s “No” when The Creep asked if he could walk her out. Please…

Edited by limecoke
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On 3/15/2022 at 11:37 PM, Rainsong said:

‘Oh I can’t not watch it’ was the gobsmacked reaction of Rachel Green aka Jennifer Aniston to the Chandler-Monica proposal on ‘Friends.’ Most of us are probably not at that level of fixation and a ‘freewill checkup’ is a recommended procedure in maintaining one’s mental health. We could – and probably should – not watch. But we’ve come this far, damn it. A man who climbed Mt Everest was asked why he did it. His famous and inarguable response: ‘Because it’s there.’ The finale is there. And so we trek on even if the reward is merely to see the other side of the mountains.

Things, society and relationships may have changed since the days of getting a second phone line for the kids or paying a premium for call waiting since the phone was often tied up, passing notes and going on actual dates but the largest change is that, once upon a time, courtship appeared to be a mostly happy pursuit. Flirtation, glances, kisses, smiles, laughter. Hormones surging. Endorphins flowing.

Relationships these days, especially on a show ostensibly about relationships, resemble little more than a grief counseling session. Suspicions, accusations, betrayals, long faces, floods of tears, shaking of heads, stomping down hallways or staircases or merely collapsing in a heap. Coincidentally, that also describes the unfortunate audience watching this mess. And we don’t have the benefit of sherpas to help us slog through it.

The Icelandic church features impressive architecture and impressive vocals from a chorale. We are grateful for the beautiful harmonies because it very easily could have been a soundtrack featuring Iceland’s most prominent export Björk shrieking like she slammed a car door on her finger. Is Clayton here to reinforce his faith he spoke of earlier? To seek spiritual guidance? No, he’s talking about himself again. The selfie generation. Emphasis on self.

Jesse’s façade is cracking a bit as he wiggles his gloved fingers and clenches his fists. It’s clear he’s grown tired of Clayton’s antics and general wishy-washy nature and would like to give our reality TV star a leather-bound slap of reality. Clayton is expending more emotional effort on excusing his actions the night before and casting Susie as the villain than he has on any date or at any time during his season. ‘She made me have sex…with two other people!’ is an alibi a 15 year-old might employ – if the 15 year old were lucky (he thinks) enough to experience such a thing.

Let us hope the geothermal heating is cranked up sufficiently to compensate for the bare arms sported by Gabby & Rachel. Is that a block of ice the roses are resting on? Is it a metaphor for Clayton’s emotional range? How have we resisted the urge to give him more derogatory nicknames over the season? And why are they whispering? They’re the only ones there.

Over the years, various Bachelorettes have displayed what amounted to intense crushes, neediness and desperation, biological clocks ticking loudly, competitive fire, and childlike pick-me gold-star jealousy and naivete. But Gabby & Rachel remind those who may have read Stephen King’s ‘The Long Walk’ of protagonist Ray who, after fending off his rivals in a life-or-death endurance hike, keeps trudging along out of a strange, unknowable compulsion. The two are locked on target, or appear to be, and any emotional attachment is almost incidental to simply being the last woman standing.

Clayton arrives in a topcoat made out of your mother’s plaid Herculon sofa. He should probably crawl under some furniture now as he delivers a horribly slanted and selective version of the truth. They may be curious about Susie’s whereabouts but they’re much more curious about roses and proposals. Clayton has mentioned ‘intimacy’ more times than the entire run of Dr Ruth’s radio show. The remaining ladies prove it’s possible for just two people to scatter in random directions as Gabby slinks into the darkness and Rachel down the long set of stairs. Their minders are there to listen to but also to keep the cast from abandoning the production entirely.

Gabby gets The Explanation first and can’t resist the rolling-hand get-on-with-it motion. Either Gabby is walking to find a way out of the building or she’s pacing using the largest floor area possible.

Rachel, predictably, is the most shattered of the three and hyperventilating. It’s difficult to devise snappy commentary about Clayton at this point, if only because it seems he doesn’t truly understand the concept and execution of The Bachelor despite all his blather about The Journey. His talk of ‘love XYZ more’ or ‘my love for XYZ is different’ sounds like a kid sorting his candy on Halloween night. It’s all about possession and hoarding. We’ve seen some obvious slam dunks and some surprises in final threes and finales. We’ve even seen switching of partners after the fact. But we haven’t seen someone this indecisive due to flat-out emotional immaturity. Clayton claims he loves all three. The truth is he doesn’t love any of them. They’re merely trophies. But surely a jock would know that there’s only one trophy at a time for one winner at time?

The cruelty of Clayton’s revelation is compounded by the agony of having to use those coarse, rough brown paper towels to dab tears away. Unabsorbent scourge of school restrooms everywhere. Rachel’s makeup is a battlefield casualty but things have to be resolved now no matter how strung out the cast may be as the accounting department isn’t paying for another night at the hotel or to change flights back to the States.

They’ve been telegraphing Rachel’s codependent nature since the first minutes of the first episode so it’s little surprise that after being put through the wringer she still accepts a rose. Gabby, a bit older and wiser, perhaps in spite of herself, votes nay as we break into a spontaneous chorus of ‘For she’s a jolly good fellow.’

Yes, Rachel, she’s leaving, or appears to be. Rachel is casting her gaze around like a Price Is Right contestant desperate for advice on bidding on the vacation package. ‘Did I win?’ she wonders. Well, no, dear. Standing alone at the end is usually the moment of triumph. Of release. Of vindication. Of euphoria. All you get for now is the gloom of the Arctic Circle winter and the gloomier prospect of Clayton returning forthwith.

Gabby scores some overtime points by using ‘volition’ in a sentence. ‘I’m not trying to create any turmoil.’ An actual Clayton quote. Gabby snaps the ball over her QB’s head and fumbles the game and her dignity away by coming back to accept a rose. How long was the off-camera discussion with the frantic production crew, we must wonder.

Bachelor alumni have gone from party pics in an album that spark fond but infrequent memories to becoming a nigh-on constant media presence that do little more than annoy with their quasi-celebrity behavior. Clare and Nick together? I’ll need another drink. And Advil. Who borrowed Clare’s eyebrows and forgot – or refused – to return them? And why is Agnes Moorehead’s eyebrow pencil from the ‘Bewitched’ era still being used by the makeup department at ABC?

Clare’s face has more botulinum toxin in it than a tuna canning plant where the power failed mid-shift during a summer heat wave. She’s making Nicole Kidman look as expressive as Lon Chaney. Nick is critical of Clayton but that hasn’t stopped him from using the same barber shop as Clayton, or possibly none at all.

Clayton’s own family are not impressed with the explanation from their own flesh and blood. Or maybe Clayton has slipped into speaking Icelandic after immersion in the language for a few days. Mom is still adjusting to the thought of her boy rutting like a whitetail buck on successive nights while he sought a third night and was upset he didn’t get it. Dad pours a 5-gallon bucket of cold water on Clayton’s elaborate explanation and plea for advice. Clayton’s mute brothers are hoping they might find some mystic Viking runes carved in a rock face that will give them the power of speech.

Gabby’s got, well, the gift of the cheerleader gab and can deliver PR patter with relative ease. Mom breaks down immediately and hangs the big IF out there, thus ruining the mood before the champagne bubbles have a chance to pop.

Gabby, despite her questionable decision to remain, actually seems a good egg and is deserving of an immediate one-off spinoff show just to get her out of there and paired up with a sane person. Call it Gabby’s Gambols or The Colorado Canoodle or something. Don’t make her The Bachelorette and don’t make her wait. Have her slip out the kitchen door and on the first flight out.

Mom’s Gabby-induced frown is now a Rachel-reactive grin. Rachel is clearly more their cup of tea – a family environ where Hallmark Cards are regarded as authentic, even poetic expressions of sentiment. A place where there is a large framed photo of the family – and the dog, if there is one - grinning on the beach at dusk in matching white Oxford shirts, rolled-up khakis and bare feet. These photos may be required by law in some counties.

All ten of Rachel’s acrylic nails have been restored to flight status and she is laying it on heavy and thick with the parents. ‘He’s given me every reason to continue’ – except for the inconvenience of two other women whom he’s currently ‘in love’ with. Susie’s still in Iceland? Hopefully it’s at the airport waiting for the fog to clear so she can fly home. But someone on the crew probably stole her passport.

Kaitlyn is now on the couch. She obviously didn’t read or follow the instructions that came with the Transform Yourself Into A Kardashian At Home kit. Rodney says ‘It’s so tough to think about the position he’s in right now.’ Does Rodney mean the position Clayton put HIMSELF in? Clayton has been ‘following his heart’ or has at least claimed to be. It’s got him running in circles.

I am at work laughing out loud at uoir descriptions of claire and kitlynn. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

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23 hours ago, Rebky said:

These women are destroying the delicate bone structure of their feet. In a way, it harkens back to feet binding. On any of the RHW shows, when the women are on the beach, they hide their deformed feet under the sand. I in no way understand how it's worth it.

I had to look up feet binding. Wth! Why would anyone do that and think it looks good. Just for that, I’m going barefoot at home this evening and wiggling my toes to let my puppies celebrate their freedom. 

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2 hours ago, dizzyd said:

I had to look up feet binding. Wth! Why would anyone do that and think it looks good. Just for that, I’m going barefoot at home this evening and wiggling my toes to let my puppies celebrate their freedom. 

Historically, Chinese men had a fetish with feet that were deformed to look like a lotus.  It was all done for them and their sick sexual fantasies. This book is very informative as well as heartbreaking: Snow Flower and the Secret Fan: A Novel

 

 

Edited by Rebky
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You folks are brutal. Clayton is a big meathead and a bit of a doofus but seems like a lot of guys in their twenties. He didn’t really listen when Gabby and Rachel explained how they felt; he was too busy formulating his defense. But I don’t see how he’s such a bad guy. His loss of temper with Susie showed his immaturity but it wasn’t abuse or gaslighting. He showed anger, but that’s human. He showed a lack of self awareness but that is human too. He’s a people pleaser who tripped over his own emotional feet on national tv. I don’t think he’s evil and I don’t think he’s a douche. 

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The asshat was thinking with his small head instead of his brain.  The whole "Fantasy Suite" option is a can of worms. The couple doesn't have__ to have sex, but  the way the show edits it,  it tends to imply that. Did Gabby and Rachel decide willingly  to just go for it all the way? 

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On 3/17/2022 at 11:32 PM, One4Sorrow2TooBad said:

The asshat was thinking with his small head instead of his brain.  The whole "Fantasy Suite" option is a can of worms. The couple doesn't have__ to have sex, but  the way the show edits it,  it tends to imply that. Did Gabby and Rachel decide willingly  to just go for it all the way? 

I think him telling each of them he was in love with them definitely affected their decision to go for it ,

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On 3/17/2022 at 8:17 PM, katysax said:

You folks are brutal. Clayton is a big meathead and a bit of a doofus but seems like a lot of guys in their twenties. He didn’t really listen when Gabby and Rachel explained how they felt; he was too busy formulating his defense. But I don’t see how he’s such a bad guy. His loss of temper with Susie showed his immaturity but it wasn’t abuse or gaslighting. He showed anger, but that’s human. He showed a lack of self awareness but that is human too. He’s a people pleaser who tripped over his own emotional feet on national tv. I don’t think he’s evil and I don’t think he’s a douche. 

Telling 2 women he loves them, having sex with them both, and then breaking up with them together? I have never used the term but that’s a douche,

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But that's the nature of this show and how the game's been played for years now. Everyone involved knows that by this point. The final three are well aware that they may all be having sex with the same person, yet they were willing participants. They also know that two of the three will be let go. Rachel and Gabby told Clayton they love him also. I don't believe either of them love him, they were playing to win as well. I really don't think any of them are upset with anyone either. We'll see how they treat the people trying to "win" their love. 

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