S06.E07: Taboo

[CountryGirl]

19 minutes ago, pennben said:

That we know he is skinny doesn’t mean we know he doesn’t have issues with food. Especially given we see his parents fight over food issues, even though that seems like code for their real relationship issues. 

I think that is is code for their deeper relationship issues so it's hard to get that invested and that we do know he turns out just fine in the future as does Deja (for the Deja/Malik angst) does take away from the present-day storylines. Further, we do have more insight than his adult flash-forwards to know about Jack's issues with food, at least as far as weight is concerned. In the S4/E15 episode "Clouds" there are three flash-forwards of a pre-adult Jack, as a toddler, pre-teen, and a teenager and he was thin in all of them. 

[marceline]

17 hours ago, Jax7917 said:

I see much more chemistry with Rebecca and Miguel than I ever saw with her and Jack . Just me ?

I think part of that is because over the years the show allowed us to see how Miguel loves and supports Rebecca while also showing us that Jack had issues. We've gotten to watch Miguel and Rebecca's safe, mature love grow from the beginning. I remember when Miguel was one of the most disliked characters on this show. Jack was portrayed as the knight in shining armor and lots of people felt like Miguel must've "moved in" on Rebecca after Jack died. Over the last six years we've learned that Jack was far from perfect and Miguel has loved Rebecca every bit as much and as well as Jack would've had he lived. So far we still haven't seen Miguel or Kate in any of the flash forwards so that makes me wonder what the future holds for them. 

I could really use a This Is Us Annotated Timeline. If anyone knows of one, please share. This show's time-jumping leaves me confused.

Edited March 10, 2022 by marceline

[ProudMary]

2 hours ago, CountryGirl said:

This really did feel like the TIU of old, even though I have loved much of the season thus far.

One of the stand-out scenes for the entire series for me was this one, with MVP Mandy Moore's Rebecca:

As someone with elderly parents and MIL, I could so appreciate this. So much of my life and my husband's of late are helping to care for our aging parents, which, of course, we love them and want to help them. But yes, there is that part of us that feels as if our lives are on hold because of those obligations. And we, too, are getting older as well.

While I agree that this scene was a stand-out and that Mandy Moore knocked it out of the park, it absolutely reeked of financial privilege.

Rebecca's commands to her children are what ALL parents diagnosed with degenerative diseases, both mental and physical, would want for their adult children, but for most people long term care of an aging parent either requires some family member to give up working outside the home so they can care full-time for the parent, or hiring caregivers. Either choice is prohibitively expensive.

Given the "Go live your lives to the fullest" speech, Rebecca and Miguel evidently have already decided on the caregiver route as Miguel tells Kevin to build another wing on the family compound, ultimately revealed to be for Rebecca's future caregiver(s.)

Yes, this does hit close to home for me, although I won't go into detail. Suffice to say that other than the grief that accompanies the slow decline of a beloved family member, there isn't a problem in our lives right now that couldn't be mitigated by the ability to throw a large amount of cash at it and unlike the Pearsons, we don't have that option. I doubt most Americans do.

TL;DR: 1) The scene ticked me off, and 2) Buy long-term care insurance for yourself while you're young and it's more affordable. 

[Clawdette]

One more comment about sweet potatoes:  I was born in 1950 and grew up on a farm where we grew all of our vegetables.  Cabbage, broccoli, corn, butter beans, six-weeks peas, tomatoes, cucumbers, green peppers, hot peppers, white potatoes, and sweet potatoes, and a few others from time-to-time.  Our seasonings were salt and sugar and we never constructed casseroles of any kind.  (My grandmother was born in 1881 when there were none to be found among her family members.)

We baked sweet potatoes and added butter when they came out of the oven.  I had never heard of sprinkling with brown sugar until I was grown, and that addition is quite tasty.  But I love to eat them raw.  They are a great snack that way, satisfying and filling. Because sweet potatoes are so dense, it takes a while to eat them, even after cutting them into manageable chunks.  Another snack benefit!

 

 

[Empress1]

31 minutes ago, ProudMary said:

Rebecca's commands to her children are what ALL parents diagnosed with degenerative diseases, both mental and physical, would want for their adult children, but for most people long term care of an aging parent either requires some family member to give up working outside the home so they can care full-time for the parent, or hiring caregivers. Either choice is prohibitively expensive.

Given the "Go live your lives to the fullest" speech, Rebecca and Miguel evidently have already decided on the caregiver route as Miguel tells Kevin to build another wing on the family compound, ultimately revealed to be for Rebecca's future caregiver(s).

I will say, when Rebecca said she'd need round the clock live-in care, I thought "who's paying for that?" I assume Kevin is (although I feel like his wealth would run out? is he THAT wealthy? Maybe Big Three Construction takes off). I had a great-uncle who had dementia and needed round the clock care and one of his sons was wealthy enough to pay for it, but it's really out of reach for most.

We know that Randall apparently has a thriving political career in the future, which is not conducive at all to caring for an aging infirm parent (lots of travel, if he's a senator he'd split his time between PA and DC), so we can assume he's not doing the heavy lifting re: caregiving. 

31 minutes ago, ProudMary said:

2) Buy long-term care insurance for yourself while you're young and it's more affordable. 

I'm in the process of doing this right now (odds are good that I won't have kids to take care of me, should I need it, so I want to be prepared. Not that having kids is a guarantee that they'll take care of you, or that you should have kids and assume they'll take care of you), and the insurance guy said "you're smart to do it while you're young, most people wait until they need care or they see their contemporaries needing care and it's out of reach financially by then."

It just occurred to me - Beth and Randall were talking about going to see Rebecca on her deathbed, so I assume they're not living on the family compound?

Edited March 10, 2022 by Empress1

[CdrJanny]

I love, love, LOVE to bake sweet potatoes and then mash the pulp with just a bit of butter and maybe a sprinkle of nutmeg.  Yum, yum, yum.  So tasty and full of fiber and other micronutrients.  

[Empress1]

4 minutes ago, CdrJanny said:

I love, love, LOVE to bake sweet potatoes and then mash the pulp with just a bit of butter and maybe a sprinkle of nutmeg.  Yum, yum, yum.  So tasty and full of fiber and other micronutrients.  

Me too. I also do a meal where I stuff a sweet potato with chickpeas and tomato and greens and certain spices. Really great veggie meal.

I am weird - even though the microwave can get it done in a few minutes, I prefer the old-school way of roasting them in the oven. I feel like they're sweeter that way.

[Quiet1]

We saw after Jack's death they were struggling financially, so they worked for what they have, it wasn't handed to them. Beth and Randall became extremely wealthy through their choices and hard work. Kevin is wealthy from his hard work and talent. Maybe they did get insurance when they were younger and that's why they can have live in help. 

[Crs97]

Isn’t Miguel wealthy as well?

[Quiet1]

2 minutes ago, Crs97 said:

Isn’t Miguel wealthy as well?

He always seemed successful in business so I would think so. They only reconnected after Tess was born, hopefully we'll find out how long they've been actually married in a future episode focusing on them. I would expect he'll help financially with Rebecca's medical bills too. 

[Empress1]

5 minutes ago, Crs97 said:

Isn’t Miguel wealthy as well?

I didn't think so. I think he did well in his career (he was Jack's boss, right?) but I don't think he has unlimited resources. Like, upper middle class maybe, decent retirement fund, but not "Buy a $100K car in cash" (Randall) or "millionaire actor" wealthy. 

Kevin seems to have unlimited wealth so whenever something related to money is mentioned I assume he's paying for it. Randall was wealthy too but he's taken a giant pay cut in his career so I would assume his resources aren't unlimited (maybe that changes with his political career that it seems will start to really take off soon - we know he's a "star" five years from now), plus he has three kids to think about. Medical school ain't free! 

(Miguel also has kids and grandkids - I wonder if they show up to their dad's wife's deathbed? They were really nasty to her.)

[chocolatine]

31 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

It just occurred to me - Beth and Randall were talking about going to see Rebecca on her deathbed, so I assume they're not living on the family compound?

I thought the compound was meant to be a place where the extended Pearson family could visit as much as they liked, but that it wasn't meant to be a full-time home for most of them.

20 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

I am weird - even though the microwave can get it done in a few minutes, I prefer the old-school way of roasting them in the oven. I feel like they're sweeter that way.

They are, because the natural sugars have time to caramelize (some varieties even ooze a sweet syrup while roasting).

12 minutes ago, Crs97 said:

Isn’t Miguel wealthy as well?

I think he was successful in his career, but isn't super-wealthy. It looks like he and Rebecca are having a comfortable retirement, but I'm not sure he has enough to afford long-term care.

[Empress1]

1 minute ago, chocolatine said:

They are, because the natural sugars have time to caramelize (some varieties even ooze a sweet syrup while roasting).

They do. I love it. Now I'm hungry!

[Leeds]

5 hours ago, marceline said:

 

I kind of wish we didn't know that Kate and Toby split up because now I just see them as doomed since we know what happens and how Jack's accident blows up their marriage.

Accident?  Can you remind me of what I have forgotten?  (One of many things!)

[pennben]

1 hour ago, ProudMary said:

Yes, this does hit close to home for me, although I won't go into detail. Suffice to say that other than the grief that accompanies the slow decline of a beloved family member,

I see you, not that that helps anything you are going through.  But, I see you, I hear you, I get you and I admire you.  

[Boo Boo]

20 hours ago, Toothbrush said:

Chrissy looked really lovely in this episode. Love the straight sleek hair look, and her dress was very pretty.  

 

I think she is so pretty.

I'm with you all -- great episode tonight.  I've hate watched this often but I will truly miss it and will hope for some spinoffs!

[pennben]

13 minutes ago, Leeds said:

Accident?  Can you remind me of what I have forgotten?  (One of many things!)

Another appliance issue...apparently genetic in this family.  Crockpot for Jack, seemingly less significant for Jack Jr, personally in that he ran into the family smoker?  Note that food cooking appliances have reared their head again!

[ams1001]

14 minutes ago, Leeds said:

Accident?  Can you remind me of what I have forgotten?  (One of many things!)

In the episode where Toby tells Kate he wants to get a Big Green Egg, there's a flash forward to grown-up baby Jack grilling steaks on that same Big Green Egg. His wife (girlfriend?) looks at a scar on his head and there's a line about how he kept the grill that blew up his parents' marriage.

My speculation is that Toby was distracted by a work call and toddler Jack runs into the hot Egg and gets burned and Kate holds it against Toby forever after.

[Boo Boo]

10 hours ago, screenaddict said:

 

I wish Toby and Kate weren't going south. I almost feel like they're trying to make Toby be a jerk without going overboard - in the real world, I'm afraid Toby would make snide comments to Kate because he managed to lose weight and she's still big. Again, I suppose I know too many people who treat exercise and nutrition like a religion and become enthusiastic converts.

 

My thoughts exactly.  I was surprised that him losing weight and her not didn't become the REAL reason for their argument.

[KaveDweller]

11 hours ago, kili said:

I don't really get having secret ingredients. If somebody says "That pie is delicious! Can I get the recipe?", what kind of psychopath gives them a partial recipe? Unless you are in the business of selling sugar pie, what does it hurt to give out the actual recipe?

They leave something out so that the person can't make it as good and everyone will think they are the better cook. It is a pretty bitchy thing to do, it would make more sense to just say, "you can't have the recipe."

I think Toby and Kate both have valid points about the kids diet, which is what makes it an interesting conflict. There is not one right way to raise kids. Plenty of people grow up to be a healthy weight with all types of childhood diets and plenty of people grow up to be obese with a variety of childhood diets. Both of them are trying to do what's best and have good intentions. They just need to get on the same page and communicate better.

[Johnny Dollar]

Of course future Miguel will be dead. This show just has to end with only Pearsons left. They’re the only ones that matter anyway. 

[Tango64]

Pro tip for family gatherings: Don’t gather all your loved ones and tell them in several hours you will hold a meeting with some of them, but not all, some specifically excluded for some reason, to deliver some momentous statement. Saying “it’s nothing bad” does not help the day go well. 

[Quiet1]

I thought it was good for Rebecca to acknowledge that it will be harder for all of them than it will be for her. Still hard for her to deal with knowing that right now. Making her appreciate the days they have together now all the more. 

[wonderwoman]

2 hours ago, Empress1 said:

2 hours ago, CdrJanny said:

love, love, LOVE to bake sweet potatoes and then mash the pulp with just a bit of butter and maybe a sprinkle of nutmeg.  Yum, yum, yum.  So tasty and full of fiber and other micronutrients.  

Me too. I also do a meal where I stuff a sweet potato with chickpeas and tomato and greens and certain spices. Really great veggie meal.

I am weird - even though the microwave can get it done in a few minutes, I prefer the old-school way of roasting them in the oven. I feel like they're sweeter that way.

love roasting sweet potatoes in the oven — loved the small purple japanese ones they had until recently at trader joe’s. my latest fave is cutting a largish sweet potato into chunks, throwing in a bunch of roasted broccoli, and finish with a drizzle of orange-infused olive oil and some sliced scallion. 

[MBayGal]

12 hours ago, Haleth said:

Hailey doesn’t share their genes.

Hailey??  I'd forgotten she existed.  Leave her in the corner with Annie!.

[maggiemae]

Jack and Rebecca's parents, and them as well, and Kevin...do share Kate's genes.

Noticing she is not doing for herself what she is for Jack.

ETA - deleted the not...Kate's weight is caused by something but most likely not her genes.

Edited March 10, 2022 by maggiemae

[OpalNightstream]

That friggen guitar was making me nuts! Not cute when a sad 40-something year old is strumming (poorly) away in the background constantly. 

[Leeds]

3 hours ago, Johnny Dollar said:

Of course future Miguel will be dead. This show just has to end with only Pearsons left. They’re the only ones that matter anyway. 

What's worse, the world being taken over by cockroaches or by Pearsons?

[kili]

Quote

Hailey doesn’t share their genes.

Sure, but that's not the point. If they make a big deal about what Jack eats while ignoring Hailey it is likely to give Jack an eating disorder and leave Hailey feeling transparent (to paraphrase her Uncle "You're so busy making sure that Jack's not eating too much and Jack's had enough sleep, and meanwhile where's Hailey? Oh. Guess what? She's dead!").

Quote

Hailey??  I'd forgotten she existed. 

They remembered her for a brief moment when Kate taunted her about not telling her the secret ingredient until she is older. Little Hailey was adorable.

Quote

That friggen guitar was making me nuts! Not cute when a sad 40-something year old is strumming (poorly) away in the background constantly. 

I wonder if he is going to be better at it every episode.  Maybe the awards in his house are Grammys. His friend John Legend can hook him up with some industry connections.

Toby and Kate must break up soon because he doesn't apparently see the house until he arrives at Rebecca's dead bed (he is surprised at how big it is). 

What is the weather like where that cabin is? Is it wise to start construction at Thanksgiving? It does get snowy because it was snowing when Kate broke up with her boyfriend. 

[Irate Panda]

We know Jack is “normal” weight in the future but Toby would have no way of knowing that now, so I don’t think his requests were unreasonable.  Justin Hartley will forever be my Fox Crane, but he often irritates me as Kevin.  If these people make me agree with Toby one damn more time I’m going to scream.  Kevin is always inserting himself into Kate’s and Toby’s relationship.  Again, he needs a place of his own.  It’s enough a multi-millionaire is living with them, but to live a couple you know is having marital problems is moronic.

Kate was the only choice Rebecca could make if she had to choose one of the three kids although there’s a good chance Kate could die before Rebecca and Miguel.

Hopefully the Thanksgiving hat somehow falls into the Green Egg grill and burns completely, I can’t stand the thing!  

How Miguel,Beth, and to a much lesser extent Toby put up with the Pearsons, I’ll never know.  Glad there was minimal Deja and Malik drama. 
 

The 20s Kevin is awful. Did they say why Kate was gaining all the weight? Was it just her food issues as a child continued or did they specifically say it was the awful boyfriend or Jack’s death? 
 

Im not sure what would be flattering on Kate, but I thought that skirt was hideous on her. She looked like an elderly man that pulls his pants up way too high.

 

[kili]

Quote

Did they say why Kate was gaining all the weight? Was it just her food issues as a child continued or did they specifically say it was the awful boyfriend or Jack’s death? 

Kevin, though drunk at the time, theorized the following:

Randall: She's just gained a lot of weight.

KEVIN: Of course she has. Think about her life, man. She lives with Mom, she's got the worst ex-boyfriend of all time, she thinks her dog killed our dad.

And he's not far off. Just add in that their parents fostered in her an unhealthy relationship with food in two different ways. It would be 20 more years before she had a reasonable boyfriend, a dog or a civil relationship with her Mom.

Quote

Rebecca knows that her boys are always jockeying to be the "man" of the family and this is a situation where things get ugly.  Choosing either Kevin or Randall would make them uglier.  Kate is the safe choice because both of them respect Kate and they trust her to do what is right even if it hurts.  Rebecca does not want her boys fighting over her care.

Kevin wasn't fighting with Randall about her care. Kevin was fighting to allow Rebecca the independence to choose her care while Randall was using guilt to get her to have the care he thought she should have. The show seems to have largely dropped Randall's saviour complex, but that was the root of that debate. Kevin has offered support, but doesn't seem to be committed to any course of treatment. It's not like Kevin is off reading studies or listening to naturopaths on the internet and arguing best treatment with Randall. Randall has researched the treatments extensively and come up with what he thought was the best treatment.

 

 

[JKL845]

At this point we don't know how long Rebecca will need a live in caretaker. Months, years? They are planning on at least her and Miguel living in the cabin by time she needs it, so they could sell their California home. That should give them over a million dollars by itself and I have no idea how much medicare helps, plus retirement funds. If it isn't for too many years, Rebecca and Miguel could most likely pay for it themselves, but no doubt the kids would help if needed. 

[Dowel Jones]

3 hours ago, OpalNightstream said:

That friggen guitar was making me nuts! Not cute when a sad 40-something year old is strumming (poorly) away in the background constantly. 

Too bad someone didn't go full on Bluto on Kevin.  Need a cheaper guitar for that scene.

[himela]

I skipped the past scenes with Jack but other than that I loved this episode and I cried during various scenes. The weight thing is sensitive for me and some things just touched my heart.

Regarding the last scene where Kate tells her daughter she will tell her the secret ingredient some day, I think it is a sign that she won't because she won't be there. Why else did they make this scene? And it was also the last scene of the episode that always means something. Anyone else saw it this way as well?

[himela]

On 3/9/2022 at 5:11 AM, debraran said:

Mandy was great. She made this episode A+

I hear you all saying that Mandy played this really well but to be honest I have a problem connecting with seeing the same actress in 3 different ages. I mean, when I look at 65+ Rebecca all I can think of is "lol you don't look 65, you look like a 40 years old who had a lot to drink and didn't sleep for 3 days". This distracts me from actually feeling the act. I wish they had used another actress for older Rebecca. We would have been used to it by now.

[debraran]

23 minutes ago, himela said:

I hear you all saying that Mandy played this really well but to be honest I have a problem connecting with seeing the same actress in 3 different ages. I mean, when I look at 65+ Rebecca all I can think of is "lol you don't look 65, you look like a 40 years old who had a lot to drink and didn't sleep for 3 days". This distracts me from actually feeling the act. I wish they had used another actress for older Rebecca. We would have been used to it by now.

I ignore it but HATE the wig, hate the baggy cardigans and the way they try to age her. I've gotten used to it, they might see Mandy at 40 and not know how to do it, but I think they age the guys much better. She doesn't need took too old, I'm 60's and think many women my age look good but they are trying to make a difference with the young one and I agree, showing them in the same episode is distracting.

I am curious to see Sophie in old age makeup, did they give her a bag under her eye? ; ) Kevin joked his first attempt was a fail, he told them no this isn't working, think like Kevin used sunscreen and got more "George Clooney" look. lol

[PRgal]

Re sweet potatoes:  my parents were born and raised in Hong Kong and came to Canada in the 70s.  I was born in Toronto in 1979.  During my childhood, sweet potatoes were always part f a backyard barbecue and was eaten as a dessert.  I’m not entirely sure what the seasoning was as I never liked it as a child.  That didn’t come until my 20s when I stared eating that instead of regular potatoes as a savoury dish, usually as a sub for regular potatoes.  I often roast them and fill it with pulled chicken, lentil curry or veggie pasta sauce and top it with cheese or yogurt!

[Johnny Dollar]

Of course Kate has always been Rebecca’s best friend. Remember the ONE time she comforted her because Miguel decided to move on with his life? And then the other time when Kate called her a slut for trying to rebuild her life after Jack’s death, and generally treated her like crap and was jealous of her well into her late 30s? What a charmer!

[himela]

15 minutes ago, Johnny Dollar said:

Of course Kate has always been Rebecca’s best friend. Remember the ONE time she comforted her because Miguel decided to move on with his life? And then the other time when Kate called her a slut for trying to rebuild her life after Jack’s death, and generally treated her like crap and was jealous of her well into her late 30s? What a charmer!

A mother - daughter relationship is very complicated and it is not limited to 4-5 occasions. Every woman who has a living relationship with her mother knows that there are moments of love and hate, of fights, of absolute destruction, but this doesn't mean that in the end they don't adore and forgive each other.

[CdrJanny]

Rebecca's sister either moved to Milwaukee and married Chuck Cunningham or to Pine Valley and married Bobby Martin.

😉

FWIW, this Thanksgiving episode is the only Pearson Thanksgiving feast featuring sugar pie.  It never appeared or was referred to on any of the previous Thanksgivings.

[CdrJanny]

9 hours ago, maggiemae said:

ETA - deleted the not...Kate's weight is caused by something but most likely not her genes.

Yeah, Kate's weight is caused by overeating, inluding junk food, as a coping mechanism for emotional distress.

7 hours ago, Leeds said:

What's worse, the world being taken over by cockroaches or by Pearsons?

Pearsons - no doubt about it.  And I LOATHE cockroaches.

[Ohiopirate02]

5 hours ago, kili said:

Kevin wasn't fighting with Randall about her care. Kevin was fighting to allow Rebecca the independence to choose her care while Randall was using guilt to get her to have the care he thought she should have. The show seems to have largely dropped Randall's saviour complex, but that was the root of that debate. Kevin has offered support, but doesn't seem to be committed to any course of treatment. It's not like Kevin is off reading studies or listening to naturopaths on the internet and arguing best treatment with Randall. Randall has researched the treatments extensively and come up with what he thought was the best treatment.

 

But Randall's research was done for selfish reasons.  Randall did the research to find out the best course of treatment for Randall not for Rebecca.  And Rebecca is going to remember this when deciding which of her kids will be her medical POA.  This wasn't Randall's savior complex rearing its ugly head, but Randall's selfishness.  He wasn't ready to lose another parent, so he strong-armed Rebecca into agreeing to the clinical trial.  He was also still miffed that Rebecca and Miguel dared to move to the West Coast to help Kate with their newest grandchild.  I remember us talking about this when the episode aired, and a lot of us here were questioning if Randall would have pushed Rebecca to do the clinical trial in St. Louis if she was still living on the East Coast with him.  

[Sake614]

6 hours ago, JKL845 said:

no idea how much medicare helps,

Very. Very little. Of course it varies by state but in NY, Medicare only covers about 2 hrs a day for a few weeks. Medicaid can offer long term benefits of up to 13 hours a day depending on the patient’s condition. NY also has ‘pooled trusts’ that allow you to shield your surplus income and use it to pay bills. Without it, anything above the Medicaid limit goes straight to the state and is lost to the patient. Right now the limit is $954/month. So if you have social security and your IRA is in distribution mode, that leaves a sizable amount of excess that’s called ‘spend down.’ It can’t be used to pay medical expenses but can be used for rent, mortgage, car payment, food, etc. And home health aides get between $15-50/hour, depending on whether they’re being paid privately or by the state, and what’s required. 

I’m sure Rebecca and Miguel have already made plans and started putting away money for that time. Kevin will most definitely help as well, and probably Randall. So I highly doubt her care will be the financial burden it is for real life families with limited income. I was eternally grateful when mom got more hours from Medicaid because I was sure I’d have to dip into my own retirement account to help pay for it. And since I’m not yet retirement age, that was going to seriously hurt me. Of course I would do anything for her, but It was a huge relief.

[Jax7917]

4 hours ago, himela said:

I hear you all saying that Mandy played this really well but to be honest I have a problem connecting with seeing the same actress in 3 different ages. I mean, when I look at 65+ Rebecca all I can think of is "lol you don't look 65, you look like a 40 years old who had a lot to drink and didn't sleep for 3 days". This distracts me from actually feeling the act. I wish they had used another actress for older Rebecca. We would have been used to it by now.

I just hate the way they dress older Rebecca. It's like they are trying too hard to give her "older people" clothing. 

[Josiemae]

My theory is that Toby insulted Kevin at the table so he wouldn't have to wear that stupid hat anymore. 

And the finale will reveal that Rebecca's Alzheimer story line was a fake-out just so Kevin would build a guest house for Miguel's fishing buddies. 

[MamaBird]

12 hours ago, KaveDweller said:

They leave something out so that the person can't make it as good and everyone will think they are the better cook. It is a pretty bitchy thing to do, it would make more sense to just say, "you can't have the recipe."

I think Toby and Kate both have valid points about the kids diet, which is what makes it an interesting conflict. There is not one right way to raise kids. Plenty of people grow up to be a healthy weight with all types of childhood diets and plenty of people grow up to be obese with a variety of childhood diets. Both of them are trying to do what's best and have good intentions. They just need to get on the same page and communicate better.

This reminds me of an episode of "The Dick Van Dyke Show" in which Laura and Rob overhear a discussion between their next-door neighbors, Millie and Jerry Helper.  (Seems the two families' sons had been playing with walkie-talkies and somehow the key got stuck on the Helper boy's walkie-talkie.)  Millie observes that when she makes Laura's avocado-and-peanut-butter dip, it doesn't taste as good as Laura's.  She and Jerry wonder if Laura deliberately omitted an ingredient.  At first Laura is outraged, but then she (somehow) realizes that she DID leave out an ingredient, accidentally.  So apparently back in the late 50s and early 60s this was enough of a thing that Carl Reiner and his team put it into a script.

[Ohiopirate02]

19 minutes ago, MamaBird said:

This reminds me of an episode of "The Dick Van Dyke Show" in which Laura and Rob overhear a discussion between their next-door neighbors, Millie and Jerry Helper.  (Seems the two families' sons had been playing with walkie-talkies and somehow the key got stuck on the Helper boy's walkie-talkie.)  Millie observes that when she makes Laura's avocado-and-peanut-butter dip, it doesn't taste as good as Laura's.  She and Jerry wonder if Laura deliberately omitted an ingredient.  At first Laura is outraged, but then she (somehow) realizes that she DID leave out an ingredient, accidentally.  So apparently back in the late 50s and early 60s this was enough of a thing that Carl Reiner and his team put it into a script.

It makes some sense to me.  In the 50s, these upper class women married and became housewives and eventual mothers.  Whatever their world once was, it was now whittled down to the home.  But, they still had the same desires we all do.  Who doesn't want praise for a job well done or being known for something that no one else can do?  So some of these women became gardeners with their secret fertilizer recipe to produce prize-winning roses or they perfected that one dish or became that special hostess who had the best parties.  If you spent hours in the kitchen perfecting sugar pie, why would you tell everyone your exact recipe?  Then everyone could make it and you lose what makes you special.

[JudyObscure]

12 hours ago, KaveDweller said:

I think Toby and Kate both have valid points about the kids diet, which is what makes it an interesting conflict. There is not one right way to raise kids. Plenty of people grow up to be a healthy weight with all types of childhood diets and plenty of people grow up to be obese with a variety of childhood diets. Both of them are trying to do what's best and have good intentions. They just need to get on the same page and communicate better.

You're so right.  I sided with Toby, but who knows what will or wont work with any individual.  In this show we saw that Rebecca's mother had nagged her about food and Rebecca ended up being and staying thin.  Now we have a hint as to why she made Kate eat that famous grapefruit-cantaloupe.  Only those same little things proved to have the opposite effect on Kate.

 

5 hours ago, himela said:

. I mean, when I look at 65+ Rebecca all I can think of is "lol you don't look 65, you look like a 40 years old who had a lot to drink and didn't sleep for 3 days"

I laugh at the way TV and Movies think  drab hair and a few lines make you look old.  Hint, it's the sagging jowls and turkey neck that make us want to take the afghan off the back of the couch and wear it as a scarf.

 

2 hours ago, CdrJanny said:

Yeah, Kate's weight is caused by overeating, inluding junk food, as a coping mechanism for emotional distress.

  

Yes, it was overeating, but the tendency toward overeating has a genetic link.  

https://www.bumc.bu.edu/busm/2016/10/26/genetic-risk-factor-for-binge-eating-discovered/#:~:text=Researchers have identified a gene,in model organisms or humans.

[Aloeonatable]

15 hours ago, ProudMary said:

While I agree that this scene was a stand-out and that Mandy Moore knocked it out of the park, it absolutely reeked of financial privilege.

Rebecca's commands to her children are what ALL parents diagnosed with degenerative diseases, both mental and physical, would want for their adult children, but for most people long term care of an aging parent either requires some family member to give up working outside the home so they can care full-time for the parent, or hiring caregivers. Either choice is prohibitively expensive.

Given the "Go live your lives to the fullest" speech, Rebecca and Miguel evidently have already decided on the caregiver route as Miguel tells Kevin to build another wing on the family compound, ultimately revealed to be for Rebecca's future caregiver(s.)

Yes, this does hit close to home for me, although I won't go into detail. Suffice to say that other than the grief that accompanies the slow decline of a beloved family member, there isn't a problem in our lives right now that couldn't be mitigated by the ability to throw a large amount of cash at it and unlike the Pearsons, we don't have that option. I doubt most Americans do.

TL;DR: 1) The scene ticked me off, and 2) Buy long-term care insurance for yourself while you're young and it's more affordable. 

Amen to this! 

As someone who had to care for my in-laws (husband was an only child) there is no way that I could have had a full time job and seen to their needs. When my father-in-law was given 10 months to live, he moved in with us. Fortunately he didn't require much care until the final 6 weeks and we had hospice for the medical needs.  My mother--in-law was fairly independent but was in the early stages of dementia, and on dialysis. We paid for some help for her (her money) but couldn't afford full time help. 

I never resented caring for them, we made it work. However, if we had to do this for years instead of months, it would have been difficult financially and definitely would have changed our lives. 

[Tango64]

1 hour ago, Josiemae said:

And the finale will reveal that Rebecca's Alzheimer story line was a fake-out just so Kevin would build a guest house for Miguel's fishing buddies. 

If they did this I would renounce any criticism I've ever had for this show and declare it the greatest thing ever on television.