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LittleIggy

Ugliest House In America

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I knew the Poseidon house would “win” this round. It was hideous and hilarious. They need to keep the Poseidon statue though. Hook up a speaker so he can say, “Release the Kraken!” Liam Nelson’s voice, of course.
The funeral home house creeped me out. 
Retta is a fun host.

Edited by LittleIggy
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Are we supposed to know Retta from another show? Is she a comedienne? Just asking because I've never heard of her before tonight.

That said, she's perfect for this show! Can't wait to see all the other ugly homes! LOL.

P.S. Would love to see the first house win....and what the makeover would look like.

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4 hours ago, MsTree said:

Are we supposed to know Retta from another show? Is she a comedienne? Just asking because I've never heard of her before tonight.

That said, she's perfect for this show! Can't wait to see all the other ugly homes! LOL.

P.S. Would love to see the first house win....and what the makeover would look like.

I don't know who she is but I do know who Allison Victoria is and if I wanted to de-uglify my house she'd be the last one I'd pick. Get ready for a giant, gaudy oven hood!

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Holy cow, that first house was absolutely unbelievable!  Is it even possible for there to be a worse one?  That will certainly be the one to beat, in my opinion.  I can't imagine why they bought that monstosity!

14 minutes ago, Dehumidifier said:

....I do know who Allison Victoria is and if I wanted to de-uglify my house she'd be the last one I'd pick. Get ready for a giant, gaudy oven hood!

I'd ask for the money and find some other decorator.  I can't stand that woman.  Her "designs" are ridiculous.

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2 minutes ago, Cetacean said:

Holy cow, that first house was absolutely unbelievable!  Is it even possible for there to be a worse one?  That will certainly be the one to beat, in my opinion.  I can't imagine why they bought that monstosity!

I'd ask for the money and find some other decorator.  I can't stand that woman.  Her "designs" are ridiculous.

She's somewhat shady too. Weren't there a lot of legal issues?

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Just now, Dehumidifier said:

She's somewhat shady too. Weren't there a lot of legal issues?

I believe so.  I think she and her partner parted company because of financial issues.  Although I think they spun it to be his fault.

 

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7 hours ago, MsTree said:

Are we supposed to know Retta from another show? Is she a comedienne? 

Retta played Donna Meagle on Parks and Recreation. Part of a great ensemble cast. She's funny and can sing. If I were in an ugly house and she showed up, I'd take a day with her and "Treat Yo'self".

She was also on another sitcom recently for several years I think. Don't know the name.

Always dresses fabulously!

Edited by jacksgirl
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I think the latest show Retta was on was called “Good Girls.” 
I’m watching despite Alison Victoria!

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3 hours ago, Cetacean said:

Holy cow, that first house was absolutely unbelievable!  Is it even possible for there to be a worse one?  That will certainly be the one to beat, in my opinion.  I can't imagine why they bought that monstosity!

There's nothing wrong with the actual house, it's how it is decorated.  Take the giant fish off the wall and replaster and it'll be a great house.  Didn't they buy it for $495K when it was listed for over a million?  

The former funeral home was much uglier IMHO.

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1 minute ago, meep.meep said:

Take the giant fish off the wall and replaster and it'll be a great house.

But you'd have to tear out that entire grotto bathroom.  That would take some serious coin.

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8 minutes ago, Cetacean said:

But you'd have to tear out that entire grotto bathroom.  That would take some serious coin.

Wasn't that the basement? You could just whitewash it and not worry about it. Maybe a bit of really strong sanding first... Like the host said, injury potential.

 

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1 hour ago, Cetacean said:

But you'd have to tear out that entire grotto bathroom.  That would take some serious coin.

Call me weird but I really liked the grotto bathroom!

The pink house was simply poor decorating taste and didn’t offer much of a challenge.

I think the ultimate winner will be based on how much $150,000 will go to do a “great” renovation.  I think that’s why the funeral home wasn’t selected. I think removal of all of that working equipment, putting in plumbing and whatever electricity is needed, would cost way over $150,000.

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10 minutes ago, Koalagirl said:

I think the ultimate winner will be based on how much $150,000 will go to do a “great” renovation.

You may be right.  They don't want to show a big fail.

The funeral parlor wasn't ugly, it was just torn up and unfinished.  I think that was selected because of the backstory.  And the pink house, while quite hideous, could vastly be improved with new paint and flooring,  I don't think it required 1.5K with of updates although the kitchen would eat up a lot.

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I think the pink house would be so much better if a junk service removed all of the bizarre statues and bases outside.   

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I'd prefer any of those houses pre-renovation to what VA does. Her designs are truly the ugliest. 

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Ok... now I have to research who this Victoria Allison is. Sounds like her designs are awful! Into the web I go. 

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3 hours ago, jacksgirl said:

Ok... now I have to research who this Victoria Allison is. Sounds like her designs are awful! Into the web I go. 

Just look at the Windy City Rehab thread on here, and you'll know all about her, and her design choices.     

Edited by CrazyInAlabama
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I don’t understand why these people are living in such gaudy-awful houses. Some say they bought their places “years” ago. Why not paint or rip out some of the weird decor elements? 

That glitter house with all the cameras? Porn movie locale? The sunken place house looked like it was an office building at one point. That kitchen totally screamed “staff lunchroom” to me. Not sure why they created that bizarre sunken shower. So weird.

Quote

Are we supposed to know Retta from another show? Is she a comedienne? Just asking because I've never heard of her before tonight.

Parks & Recreation and Good Girls, both great shows. Highly recommend.

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Who in the name of all that is holy buys a brothel for his young daughter?  

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So far those don't seem to be the ugliest houses in America, but they are definitely some of the weirdest and/or creepiest. To me, the really ugly house was the Poseidon monstrosity in the first episode with all the concrete "built in" stuff inside. At this point I believe that's the one to beat.

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I like Retta.

Seems the only way HGTV figures it can make AV’s designs look good these days is to compare the after to a before that was the ugliest house in America.😂😂🤣

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10 hours ago, jacksgirl said:

Ok... now I have to research who this Victoria Allison is. Sounds like her designs are awful! Into the web I go. 

While some of her choices (like the oversized hood vent) are a bit gaudy, by no means are they ugly. 

Edited by MsTree
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9 hours ago, CruiseDiva said:

So far those don't seem to be the ugliest houses in America, but they are definitely some of the weirdest and/or creepiest. To me, the really ugly house was the Poseidon monstrosity in the first episode with all the concrete "built in" stuff inside. At this point I believe that's the one to beat.

Agree.  So far Poseidon is the one to beat.  

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6 hours ago, MsTree said:

While some of her choices (like the oversized hood vent) are a bit gaudy, by no means are they ugly. 

True. In many ways she's not worse than the other HGTV mainstays design-wise. A lot of it is her personality. 

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20 minutes ago, Welshman in Ca said:

Where is this and when is it on?

HGTV.  Different dates, lots of replays.

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15 hours ago, Cetacean said:

Who in the name of all that is holy buys a brothel for his young daughter?  

I thought it looked like a brothel owned by a serial killer! Locks on the outside of the doors? 😬 I thought the hideous hangar would win until I saw that place.

On 1/4/2022 at 12:58 PM, Dehumidifier said:

Wasn't that the basement? You could just whitewash it and not worry about it. Maybe a bit of really strong sanding first... Like the host said, injury potential.

 

I thought it was the main bathroom. The Mayan temple was in the basement.

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7 minutes ago, LittleIggy said:

thought it looked like a brothel owned by a serial killer!

I'd be concerned that those cameras are still broadcasting!  I certainly hope they disabled them thoroughly.

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2 hours ago, LittleIggy said:

 

I thought it was the main bathroom. The Mayan temple was in the basement.

In that case it would be hard to live with.

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34 minutes ago, deirdra said:

Is Victoria in every episode? If so, I won't be watching.

No, she is not.  I doubt she will show up until the last episode when they announce the winner (loser?).

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I loved the floral top Retta wore at the end. To me, these 3 houses weren't so much ugly as not very functional.

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6 minutes ago, Grizzly said:

To me, these 3 houses weren't so much ugly as not very functional.

Agree. 

I kind of wish they hadn't started with Poseidon because, at least to me, it seems to be the one that stands out.  It was certainly dysfunctional but was also truly hideous.  The others we have seen are weird or need a bunch of work to update but I wouldn't call any of them overall ugly.  Just money pits.

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Dear God. Even the freaky Poseidon house cannot compare with the creepy fug that is the Bunny Ranch Brothel. I haven't watched last night's (episode 3) as yet, but how in the Holy Hell can a father justify buying that for his daughter? Aside from the fact that it was probably a steal, but if you buy that place for your little girl, you certainly don't hand over the keys without disinfecting and removing cameras and stained carpets. WTF, Pops?

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1 minute ago, aquarian1 said:

Didn't she say she wasn't actually living in it yet?

Yes, she said she hadn't moved in.  If she's smart she'll burn it down.

The father sounded like a total dolt when he was justifying that mess.

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Maybe it was actually a family "inheritance" - i.e. maybe they're in the business.  :D

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4 hours ago, aquarian1 said:

Maybe it was actually a family "inheritance" - i.e. maybe they're in the business.  :D

I did think the dad had "heard" about it through, ahem, an internet search. 

17 hours ago, Cetacean said:

I kind of wish they hadn't started with Poseidon because, at least to me, it seems to be the one that stands out.  It was certainly dysfunctional but was also truly hideous.  The others we have seen are weird or need a bunch of work to update but I wouldn't call any of them overall ugly.  Just money pits.

Not even money pits considering their sizes and what they were bought for. 

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4 hours ago, ChicksDigScars said:

Dear God. Even the freaky Poseidon house cannot compare with the creepy fug that is the Bunny Ranch Brothel. I haven't watched last night's (episode 3) as yet, but how in the Holy Hell can a father justify buying that for his daughter? Aside from the fact that it was probably a steal, but if you buy that place for your little girl, you certainly don't hand over the keys without disinfecting and removing cameras and stained carpets. WTF, Pops?

Former customers and their associates showing up would be the greater danger than germs. Bacteria and viruses don't live forever without hosts.

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I'm starting to watch this show and therefore started with Episode #3.

Just in case anyone hasn't watched it yet, I won't give away the winner, but that being said:

House #1, the visual direction-giver in me (ie. turn left at the first intersection after you see X) would be using it as a landmark.

House #2, I want to be a kid again just for the backyard.  I also hope the owners get on good terms with the local FD.

House #3, that one part of the kitchen was pretty neat. 

Edited by letusprocrastinate
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10 hours ago, Cetacean said:

Yes, she said she hadn't moved in.  If she's smart she'll burn it down.

The father sounded like a total dolt when he was justifying that mess.

And that kids is why Daddy/Grandpa isn't allowed to go to police auctions by himself anymore.

Nice gesture but eeeeeegads!

 

Overall I've really enjoyed this show so far. I stream it on Discovery Plus while eating breakfast and just the nice kind of fluffy fun thing to start the day with. Let's hope they keep Retta around to balance out Allison Victoria. I will say she must have awesome agents and lawyers cause HGTV is still standing by her after the Windy City Rehab disaster.

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12 hours ago, Cetacean said:

Yes, she said she hadn't moved in.  If she's smart she'll burn it down.

The father sounded like a total dolt when he was justifying that mess.

I wonder what mom had to say about that purchase!

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The Jungle House was hilarious. Those front doors could survive a medieval battering ram! I bet that TV set-up was hot 💩 back in the day. 😆
I’m an adult and would love a pirate ship in my backyard!

Edited by LittleIggy
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There is no way the Jungle House will win the contest.   $150k wouldn't begin to fix the greenhouse, and all of the other design and construction issues.  

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4 hours ago, CrazyInAlabama said:

There is no way the Jungle House will win the contest.   $150k wouldn't begin to fix the greenhouse, and all of the other design and construction issues.  

Brings up an interesting point. I wonder if they will take into account how far the money will go to fix the one selected.  If it would only cover a small portion of what needs to be done would go with one needing less work?

Of course, AV always goes with ridiculously expensive choices so I can't imagine she will be able to do much with that kind of money. She'd blow it all on a bathroom or kitchen,

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On 1/4/2022 at 2:41 AM, MsTree said:

Are we supposed to know Retta from another show? Is she a comedienne? Just asking because I've never heard of her before tonight.

That said, she's perfect for this show! Can't wait to see all the other ugly homes! LOL.

I know her from "Parks and Recreation" and "Good Girls." She's absolutely hilarious ("Good Girls" showed she had drama chops as well) and perfect here.

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7 hours ago, CrazyInAlabama said:

There is no way the Jungle House will win the contest.   $150k wouldn't begin to fix the greenhouse, and all of the other design and construction issues.  

I said the exact same thing. The house is so big, the cost to "fix" everything will totally exceed $150K, especially if AV does it. She's always over-the-top and over budget. Put that together with her lawsuits for shoddy workmanship, and that house would be a total fail.

The brothel will be an easier fix and a greater transformation, especially with the story that "daddy bought this as daughter's college grad first house." It's not ugly, though...it's just creepy and I'd be afraid I'd get an STD just by entering any of the bedrooms. The Poseidon House is uglier. Since most of the features are concrete or affixed with concrete, it runs the risk of exceeding the $150K budget to "fix".

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Having seen all four episodes now, it seems many of these houses aren’t ugly, just unusual or theme-y. It reminds me of the show Weird Homes, where the unusualness was celebrated instead of mocked. And again, if the homeowners hate the weirdness so much, start changing it. An even better question is, why did they buy the house in the first place?

Don’t understand what’s so ugly or weird about a pirate ship play structure. Those are a standard, although expensive and exclusive, play structure available for parks and backyards. A place near me sells them and my son worked there for a summer, assembling them for buyers. 

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26 minutes ago, Shermie said:

Don’t understand what’s so ugly or weird about a pirate ship play structure.

I thought the reaction to that was odd as well.  Lots of playgrounds have unique structures and that place was, well, a school.  So no big surprise.

The definition of ugly is "unpleasant or repulsive" and I don't think any of them quite fits that although the brothel certainly came closest.  Bizarre would probably have been a better title.

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