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"It's teeny!": the World of Healthcare


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A better question might be "Does it eat yogurt and like it?" Because commercials have taught me that women love yogurt.

Enough to sit around on a phone and have a fucking conversation about it.  Because you know, when I am chatting it up with my BFF, the subject of nasty ass Yoplait yogurt is always coming up.  Because, you know, I'm a lady, and I'm always looking to drop a few pounds, because as a miserable nag I know if I lose my figure my emasculated husband might grow a pair of balls and leave me.

 

Yogurt Bitch!

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While I not haven't seen it on TV, I unfortunately found out that this exists.

 

I could have lived my entire life without knowing those existed, and I would not have been disappointed.  "Not sold in stores..." I wonder why.

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I like how it's like, "you can put it on beforehand so there won't be any awkward interruptions."  As if when you disrobe and you're wearing that, that itself won't cause an awkward interruption.

 

Some of the comments on YouTube for that are pretty funny:  "It's like they spent five grand on the voiceover and forty bucks on the animation."

Edited by janie jones
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Ewww, that commercial is almost the worst, until I saw this gem

 

 

I mean where do I begin

 

1. I have no problem with older people having sex, I hope to have sex for a long, long time, but I don't want to think about people my parents age (and above!) having sex, because then I have to admit that my parents might have sex, and I'm not entirely ready to admit to that, since I'm of the opinion that I was delivered to my parents by a Stork named Storkie.

 

2. Why is he poking her on that tire swing?  How is that supposed to get her hot?  Is he doing this in the 4 minutes he has post pump before he gets "ready?"

 

3. Do people really slow dance in their kitchen?

 

4. Creepy, real man testimonials....ack!

 

5. Medicare AND major insurance cover penis pumps, but people can't get their cancer treatments paid for.  I guess the AARP is a strong lobby.

 

6. Why do you need to be ready in 4 minutes?  Most of these men look like they are retired, why does it need to happen so fast?

 

7. It's nice to know you can return it....less the shipping and handling.  I surely hope they aren't refurbishing them to sell at a discount.

 

The only thing that kept running through my head was this.

 

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Cannot stand the Restasis commercial where the woman says, "My doctor told me I have a disease.  That's a big deal."  No, bitch, it is no more a big deal than it was before your doctor gave your condition a name.  Ugh.  She reminds me of my sister, that's just the kind of thing she would think.  Then she'd tell us all at Thanksgiving, in a serious subdued tone, that she's been diagnosed with a disease.  "The doctor says I have . . . chronic dry eye." 

 

Not to minimize what I am sure is the uncomfortable nature of chronic dry eye.  But c'mon.  Let's reserve the "big deal" for things that actually are.

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Cannot stand the Restasis commercial where the woman says, "My doctor told me I have a disease.  That's a big deal."  No, bitch, it is no more a big deal than it was before your doctor gave your condition a name.  Ugh.  She reminds me of my sister, that's just the kind of thing she would think.  Then she'd tell us all at Thanksgiving, in a serious subdued tone, that she's been diagnosed with a disease.  "The doctor says I have . . . chronic dry eye." 

 

Not to minimize what I am sure is the uncomfortable nature of chronic dry eye.  But c'mon.  Let's reserve the "big deal" for things that actually are.

A disease is only serious once its an acronym or they abbreviate it.  Once its known as CDE or "chrondry E" I'll take it a little more seriously.

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There's a new ad for a toenail fungus drug (the name escapes me just now), but the fine print says "apply for 48 weeks".  Since a year is 52 weeks, I wonder whether this stuff has any active ingredients in it, or whether somebody at the ad agency misheard "4 to 8 weeks" as "48 weeks"?  Or is toenail fungus really that hard to get rid of?

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Without knowing which drug you're talking about, I'm just brainstorming here, but it being in the fine print makes me wonder if it's not so much that the standard dosage is something you must do for 48 weeks, but perhaps that one should not use it for more than 48 continuous weeks, based on some research etc. There are lots of drugs where you basically take it as short or as long as you need it but not to exceed X weeks or months and then you have to stop or else excessive side effects.

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I saw that "48 weeks" thing, too, and said to the cats, "WTF?"  They didn't know, either.

 

ETA: I found this at peoplespharmacy.com: "The new topical agents were applied daily for 48 weeks and evaluated after one full year. Jublia resulted in a complete cure of nail fungus in 15 to 18 percent of study subjects. Daily use of Kerydin resulted in cure for 6.5 to 9 percent of study subjects. Both products have potential side effects such as redness or irritation of the toes, but because they are applied to the nails and nail beds, they are not expected to affect the liver or interact with other drugs."

 

So it IS 48 weeks.  And look at those whopping success rates!  You'd probably have just as much success, if not more, using Listerine & Vicks Vap-O-Rub.

Edited by Prevailing Wind
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There's a new ad for a toenail fungus drug (the name escapes me just now), but the fine print says "apply for 48 weeks".  Since a year is 52 weeks, I wonder whether this stuff has any active ingredients in it, or whether somebody at the ad agency misheard "4 to 8 weeks" as "48 weeks"?  Or is toenail fungus really that hard to get rid of?

Please just tell me it didn't feature Digger the Dermatophyte, because I don't know if I could handle him making a comeback.

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Seriously, washing your feet daily with soap and hot water will probably get rid of toenail fungus as effectively as that "product" that probably costs a fortune.   Why it's in the fine print, they hope we won't notice.

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Seriously, washing your feet daily with soap and hot water will probably get rid of toenail fungus as effectively as that "product" that probably costs a fortune.   Why it's in the fine print, they hope we won't notice.

 

Soap and water will definitely not clear it.  It's actually a condition that is surprisingly hard to get rid of.  I had a friend who suffered for years . . . nothing would clear it including OTC athlete's foot treatments.  She was so relieved when the first prescription treatment (I think Lamasil?) came out - she finally had normal toenails.  And even then, she had to stay on the medication until the nails grew out completely, something like 3 or 4 months.

 

I don't know if a NEW medication is needed, and I certainly don't need to see a boxing toe on my TV.

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Seriously, washing your feet daily with soap and hot water will probably get rid of toenail fungus as effectively as that "product" that probably costs a fortune.   Why it's in the fine print, they hope we won't notice.

 

Soap and water will definitely not clear it.  It's actually a condition that is surprisingly hard to get rid of.  I had a friend who suffered for years . . . nothing would clear it including OTC athlete's foot treatments.  She was so relieved when the first prescription treatment (I think Lamasil?) came out - she finally had normal toenails. 

Thank you for responding to that before I did, Aquarius. A cure for a serious fungal infection can indeed involve many months taking a powerful drug. It's a little insulting to suggest that it can be cleared up with better hygiene. For years I've heard people making fun of nail fungus commercials ("Do we really need another drug for such a silly, minor ailment?"), and I don't think they have a clue how frustrating and yes, debilitating it can be. You don't realize how important your fingernails and toenails are to you until they're coming off.  (I long for the days when fungus was my only problem. I now have psoriasis of the fingernails. Trust me, you do NOT want to do an image search for that condition.)

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Just adding my 2 cents........I have had toenail fungus for several years, think I got it in the shower at the gym at work. I have tried EVERYTHING to get rid of it, including the listerine, vicks, vinegar, and lots of the otc topicals, with little positive results. It does seem like a small problem, but makes wearing cute summer shoes/sandals hard to do.  It definitely is not something you can cure with good hygiene -  I've got that!

But, I hate this stupid commercial!!! 

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Just adding my 2 cents........I have had toenail fungus for several years, think I got it in the shower at the gym at work. I have tried EVERYTHING to get rid of it, including the listerine, vicks, vinegar, and lots of the otc topicals, with little positive results. It does seem like a small problem, but makes wearing cute summer shoes/sandals hard to do.  It definitely is not something you can cure with good hygiene -  I've got that!

But, I hate this stupid commercial!!! 

I have PTSD after Digger, is it worse than Digger?

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I saw that "48 weeks" thing, too, and said to the cats, "WTF?"  They didn't know, either.

This cracks me up. 

 

I now have psoriasis of the fingernails. Trust me, you do NOT want to do an image search for that condition.

LOL. So course that was the first thing I did. That was like waving a wet paint sign at a little kid. I just had to check it out. :D 

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Just adding my 2 cents........I have had toenail fungus for several years, think I got it in the shower at the gym at work. I have tried EVERYTHING to get rid of it, including the listerine, vicks, vinegar, and lots of the otc topicals, with little positive results. It does seem like a small problem, but makes wearing cute summer shoes/sandals hard to do.  It definitely is not something you can cure with good hygiene -  I've got that!

But, I hate this stupid commercial!!!

Have you tried Clorox? I got toenail fungus once in a similar situation. I tried everything OTC and a prescription. A manicurist/pedicurist friend finally suggested dabbling Clorox on it a few times a day with a Q-Tip. It took a couple of months but that finally cleared it up.

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Just adding my 2 cents........I have had toenail fungus for several years, think I got it in the shower at the gym at work. I have tried EVERYTHING to get rid of it, including the listerine, vicks, vinegar, and lots of the otc topicals, with little positive results. It does seem like a small problem, but makes wearing cute summer shoes/sandals hard to do.  It definitely is not something you can cure with good hygiene -  I've got that!

But, I hate this stupid commercial!!! 

Colorless iodine.  Apply with a q-tip daily.  Takes about 6 to 8 weeks (not 68).

 

The new Viagra ads with the attractive 50+ year old women.  I can't believe they are aimed at men.  Are the ads to convince women to encourage their men to get the little blue pills?

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Apparently so..  But in my opinion, they're going about it all wrong.  I think it would make more sense if the woman had a like, "hey girlfriend" attitude rather than trying to be sexy.  Like, why is she trying to seduce women whose sexual partners are men?  But maybe I'm wrong because my husband and I are a little young to be in their target demographic.

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Apparently so..  But in my opinion, they're going about it all wrong.  I think it would make more sense if the woman had a like, "hey girlfriend" attitude rather than trying to be sexy.  Like, why is she trying to seduce women whose sexual partners are men?  But maybe I'm wrong because my husband and I are a little young to be in their target demographic.

They've been showing the brunette Viagra woman commercials constantly today. She looks to be about 40. My guess is they are targeting old geezers who think they can bag some much younger chick if only they could get it up. Sorry, gramps, ain't gonna happen. Unless you're a billionaire.

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Apparently so..  But in my opinion, they're going about it all wrong.  I think it would make more sense if the woman had a like, "hey girlfriend" attitude rather than trying to be sexy.  Like, why is she trying to seduce women whose sexual partners are men?  But maybe I'm wrong because my husband and I are a little young to be in their target demographic.

 

If I had a husband who were having erectile dysfunction (uh, sorry - "ED"), I wouldn't want that smug bitch talking to him.

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So many complaints about health care ads in general, also watch too much late night tv, but it's all the ads for something or other that are geared specifically toward Medicare recipients get on my nerves. Then there's the ads for dental care, I was actually paying attention during Law & Order and the ad said it's just like insurance your employer pays for except you buy it for yourself. Pretty much all health insurance is just like your employer pays for except you buy it yourself.

 

And...the ads for PBA - the first several times I saw those I thought they were spoof ads. Laughing and crying inappropriately - don't call them crazy, call it what it really is. I guess once you put a name to it, that's the cure, I'm not sure I've heard what the solution for it is other than giving it a name. But then again, maybe I don't pay close enough attention.

PBA (pseudobulbar affect) is a real problem in various neurologic illnesses that was known long before this drug came along, its not a "made up" name or disease just for the drug. You know it when you see it more than anything else. Patients will be in the office with families and discussing serious dementia and medical problems and will be smiling, laughing as if its a big party in the doctor's office

the problem though is its not that common, its really a niche drug. So the company has to approach it like its "underdiagnosed" and tell all doctors to screen and look for it now so they expand their possible patient population. The marketing to doctors was even more annoying than the TV ads. The company came up with a "scale" to grade it that they wanted everyone to do on their patients to grade the possible problem. The scale annoyed me because it was like 6 questions, you give a score to each question, but the "lowest" score on each question was 1, so the lowest score you could achieve was not zero but in fact 6. It was like grade inflation for medication conditions. I asked the rep about this once, why the low score was 6 instead of 0, which it should be. A score of 6 for this just gives a connotation that everyone has some degree of this and makes it seem more common than it is. They didn't have a good answer for me on why, or at least didn't tell me.

I've used the drug a few times, its not widely used. I think they are now looking at using it for other problems in dementia. If those studies work out it actually COULD be a very useful medication, but just for PBA, thats just not common enough to make the drug prescribed that often

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I finally heard it -- a radio ad for Super Beta Prostate. I always felt I was missing out on something, seeing references to it on TWOP. *giggle*

I was listening to "American Top 40: The' 70s" yesterday and I swear, they must have played it every. single. commercial. break.

Super Beta Prostate.

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I finally heard it -- a radio ad for Super Beta Prostate. I always felt I was missing out on something, seeing references to it on TWOP. *giggle*

I don't know why but every time I hear it (or see it on tv) I think of Lucille Ball and Vitameatavegamin.

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so not glad I saw the catheter cowboy ad.  How old was he when he stated professional cowboying?  (Just making up verbs as I go).  He said he's been a professional cowboy for 25 years.  Did he start really late in life or did the concussions and broken bones age him prematurely?  Had he said more than 25 years, this wouldn't bother me.  Second annoyance, are we sure these catheters are less painful?  He always stands or sits in ways to let his schlong hang free.  Is it to painful to have it touch his thighs?  Does he need more room for it to breath because it's swollen?  What have these catheters done to this man that he has to keep his legs spread at all times?  How painful is this when he's on a horse?  I really hope he's not a bull rider.  He would be screaming in pain with every buck. 

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Osphena is a medication to relieve painful sex caused by being post menopausal. "Do not use if you are pregnant." What? Aren't those two things mutually exclusive? If you're post menopausally pregnant, you've got bigger problems than uncomfortable sex.

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All I can think of is how it can *not* hurt sticking one of those things up a guy's appendage.(And I don't even have said appendage, being female and all.)

I've been one of those guys who had occasionally to use a catheter. (No longer, thank goodness. I mean, I'm still a guy, but the necessitating condition has been treated and eliminated.) The idea is unappealing for sure*, and it's uncomfortable and awkward to deal with just in practical terms. But it's not literally painful, and it's surprisingly possible to, um, thread it in.

 

(*I have to share a comment made by the nurse who insisted I had to learn how to insert it myself. She said it was easy, a breeze, I gave her a wince and an incredulous look, and she stopped herself, grinned, and admitted, "I know, easy for me to say -- it's not my penis." Even my very proper mother laughed when I told her about it.)

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Osphena is a medication to relieve painful sex caused by being post menopausal. "Do not use if you are pregnant." What? Aren't those two things mutually exclusive? If you're post menopausally pregnant, you've got bigger problems than uncomfortable sex.

And isn't that the one that says "one thing they never told us about menopause was painful sex"? Huh? I grew up in the "we don't talk about that" era, and that's probably the only thing that *was* mentioned.

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I grew up in that era, too, and the only thing I remember knowing about menopause was breaking a hip if you fell. I didn't even hear the term osteoporosis until my teens.

Edited by riley702
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