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Gharlane

S09.E08 Pitch Not-So-Perfect

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Katie makes a splash at Schwartz and Sandoval's pitch meeting, much to Sandoval's dismay, while Ariana coaches Raquel on how to set boundaries with James. Lala finally makes amends with Scheana after their rift, but Brock and Charli aren't so quick to forgive and forget. 

 

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James is such a POS. Raquel is even more of an idiot for marrying this moron if she does. Also James calm down your ego guy you really overestimate your attractiveness. 

If he meant that he doesn’t want Raquel to be someone who is addicted to plastic surgery and doesn’t want her to turn into like an Adrienne Maloof then I would get that but I don’t think that’s what he means lol.

Enough with LVP being in your fantasies Schwartz. I did feel bad for him with his whole family stuff tho and how he wants to help them out. Moments like that make me think he’s a good guy.

Why is Charli still there lol. She’s not interesting to watch.

Brock has a weird sense of style. I’m never sure what he’s going for.

Tom Sandoval was so annoying at the end. I think he was jacked up on something. LaLa is a bitch but Sandoval is too into himself and his speeches again.

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3 hours ago, Marley said:

James is such a POS. Raquel is even more of an idiot for marrying this moron if she does. Also James calm down your ego guy you really overestimate your attractiveness. 

Raquel can’t really be THIS dumb to think James will change when they have a baby?!?

Why does James think he’s so attractive? Because his mommy told him he is?

He brought Raquel home with him on New Year’s Eve because she was a supermodel who waits tables.

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My main takeaway from this was that if someone told Lala that they only spoke up out of concern about her child based on her behavior (the way she did to Scheana), she would go head-exploding batshit insane and that sentence would be a storyline for the next three years.

Scheana's reaction to the reveal of her Skinemax work was pretty cute.  She seems bizarrely and unexpectedly out of nowhere to have come out on top of the maturity sweepstakes in this group and should leave this show yesterday for her own good.

Edited by Lassus
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I think Scheana is right, nobody cares for Lala and that is why she is like that annoying wasp that just hovers around. I think they all would have shunned her if it wasn't for her man and his private planes, although it appears he can only afford maybe an Uber now. It still boggles my mind that Scheaner and Lala have nannies or nurses when they don't do anything else during the day. My mom handled 6 kids all under the age of 8 alone while my dad was working. James sure has a high opinion of himself, yet he reminds me of an opossum 

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6 hours ago, hoodooznoodooz said:

Raquel can’t really be THIS dumb to think James will change when they have a baby?!?

Why does James think he’s so attractive? Because his mommy told him he is?

He brought Raquel home with him on New Year’s Eve because she was a supermodel who waits tables.

Raquel should dump him and get with Luke from Summer/Winter House.  Both good-looking and not very bright people, but pretty harmless and not malicious.

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This week, on the Real Housewives of WeHo...

  • DJ Muppet Baby visits LaLa while Raquel visits Arianna. I totally forgot why.
  • The Toms review their business plan with successful businesswoman Lisa Vanderbucks before they meet their investor (or whatever he is). They produce some swatches (no idea their cost) and a mission statement which sounded like a montage of madness: “Schwartz & Sandy’s is a funkadelic dive lounge where you check your worries at the door and escape reality. We hope to bridge the familiarity with your best night out with the déjà vu of your future fantasy.” When you brainstorm while stoned, what you think sounds deep and profound is in reality incoherent rambling. Lisa gave them some good advice, tho. Let's see if they were listening.
  • DJ Muppet Baby and Raquel argue about her impending rhinoplasty. I think he's concerned that's she's going to become a patient that gets turned away on a future ep of Botched, but he's inarticulate and Raquel isn't smart enough to understand.
  • The Toms and Katie see Greg, who now looks like the guy from Ancient Aliens, at the site to present their mission state. He's not impressed, probably because they didn't take SBLVB's advice. Even more humiliating, Katie emasculates the Toms and improvises a better mission statement!
  • This week, the gang has a Man of Mystery/Femme Fatale party, meaning everyone dresses up like spies. The only thing interesting was Shwartz's nicknames, including "SchwartzThePussy". Oh yeah, LaLa attempted to mend bridges with Schemer and Brock, too.
  • Sexy senior citizen Lisa Vanderbucks turns Schwartz on by wearing a dog mask. 🤢
  • The girls decide to help raise money for Raquel's rhinoplasty by submitting photos to a foot fetish website.😲
  • Oh yeah, we got to see Charli at work, which is being a waitress at SUR. Oh yeah, I forgot that's why she's on this show. She's not very good at it, since she only eats three things and none of them are on the menu.
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I had a pandemic ptsd flashback while watching everyone crowded into that bar. I haven't been to a fucking bar in two years because I'm pretty sure they're all filled with 'rona even still and here these people are just chillin, packed in like sardines. 

Seeing stuff like that makes me wonder if I'm the only one still worried about covid these days :/  People are really out there like it never happened huh? Weird.

More on topic, James has figured out that if he blames his behavior on a learning curve for his rehab everyone will let him off the hook no matter how terrible and offensive he is.

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For as much of an asshole he was the whole rest of the episode, I have to hand the line of the night to DJ Jazzy James: “Katie knows every single button to push with Tom Sandoval. It’s actually kind of spectacular to watch. Carry on. Carry on.”

Ok, by the second time Lala swooped in right when people were talking about her, that took the cake. Scheana and Ariana talking, eh, no big deal. But when Tom and Charlie were talking and suddenly she swooped into frame putting her arm on Tom’s shoulder and saying, “Hey, what are you doing?” That was *chef’s kiss*.

Everything else about this episode, eh, I could do without.

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8 hours ago, hoodooznoodooz said:

The WWCL guys pointed out that Charli claimed to be hosting this party, yet neither she nor Cory brought any food to Ariana’s house. And they didn’t help clean up.

What would she bring, PB&J sandwiches? 🤣

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On 11/16/2021 at 10:09 PM, princelina said:

James is a total dick of course, but he still can make me laugh, like when he was describing playing drinking games while not drinking 😄

I also laughed at his recounting the drinking games to Lala! "Parmesan! Parmesan!" 😆 

I wish he was more of that James than the absolutely dickish (and possibly abusive) James

On 11/17/2021 at 10:03 AM, Gharlane said:

This week, on the Real Housewives of WeHo...

  • DJ Muppet Baby visits LaLa while Raquel visits Arianna. I totally forgot why.
  • The Toms review their business plan with successful businesswoman Lisa Vanderbucks before they meet their investor (or whatever he is). They produce some swatches (no idea their cost) and a mission statement which sounded like a montage of madness: “Schwartz & Sandy’s is a funkadelic dive lounge where you check your worries at the door and escape reality. We hope to bridge the familiarity with your best night out with the déjà vu of your future fantasy.” When you brainstorm while stoned, what you think sounds deep and profound is in reality incoherent rambling. Lisa gave them some good advice, tho. Let's see if they were listening.
  • DJ Muppet Baby and Raquel argue about her impending rhinoplasty. I think he's concerned that's she's going to become a patient that gets turned away on a future ep of Botched, but he's inarticulate and Raquel isn't smart enough to understand.
  • The Toms and Katie see Greg, who now looks like the guy from Ancient Aliens, at the site to present their mission state. He's not impressed, probably because they didn't take SBLVB's advice. Even more humiliating, Katie emasculates the Toms and improvises a better mission statement!
  • This week, the gang has a Man of Mystery/Femme Fatale party, meaning everyone dresses up like spies. The only thing interesting was Shwartz's nicknames, including "SchwartzThePussy". Oh yeah, LaLa attempted to mend bridges with Schemer and Brock, too.
  • Sexy senior citizen Lisa Vanderbucks turns Schwartz on by wearing a dog mask. 🤢
  • The girls decide to help raise money for Raquel's rhinoplasty by submitting photos to a foot fetish website.😲
  • Oh yeah, we got to see Charli at work, which is being a waitress at SUR. Oh yeah, I forgot that's why she's on this show. She's not very good at it, since she only eats three things and none of them are on the menu.

Great recap! 

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On 11/17/2021 at 12:32 AM, hoodooznoodooz said:

Lucinda ordered the $3400 lights without consulting the guy (Gary? Greg?) financing most of Schwartz & Sandy’s.

I died laughing over that.  Their partner can't be a very good businessman if he gave them purchasing privileges.  

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For some reason, I'm watching "unseen footage" of the cast having a "dress like a `Real Housewife` party" and taking one of Randal's PJs to the Caribbean! 

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*. I am in total awe at just how stoopid Schwarts Schwartz is. You see something for the first time only once? He can’t find his balls? He can’t remember “serving tray”? Telling Katie about the dog head? He lives in a fantasy world most of the time.

*A close second to the above is how totally clueless Schwarts Schwartz and Sandoval are. $3,000 or $27,000, a square yard or a square foot — so what? As long as it doesn’t interfere with your grandiose, drug-trippy plans for your place. Business sense — ANY kind of sense, really — is needed to start a restaurant. Their blank stares at Lisa said it all. And did Sandoval elect himself Pope? That smoke coming from his ears when Katie was showing how you SHOULD pitch your concept to a potential backer was priceless, as was Greg’s praise of her. I really, really hope Greg becomes part of the show if Schwarts Schwartz and Sandy’s takes off (and if the show lasts that long). He could be just the kick in the ass these two chuckleheads need. 

*James’s dark side gets darker every week. Raquel needs to press pause on this engagement until he gets help. He was downright mean talking about Raquel with Lala. Here’s the thing with James. If he is to successfully fight his addictions, he needs to get the hell away from these hard-partying, hard-drinking people. So it comes down to a choice: his health and sobriety or his Bravo paycheck.

*Lala. Ever the condescending scold, ever the martyr. Thank you, Brock, for getting her to shut up. But why did you apologize for that later? As usual, Sandoval muddies his good observations about her with bullshit that she mocks and walks away from.
 

On 11/18/2021 at 1:25 PM, Carolina Girl said:

Finally listening to this in the background while working from home.

Note to Scheana - Lala NEVER comes from a good place.  

 

You’d think she would know that by now.

Edited by RoseAllDay
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On 11/16/2021 at 11:35 PM, hoodooznoodooz said:

Why does James think he’s so attractive

That's one of life's great mysteries.

Who is god? How did civilization begin? Does Bigfoot exist? Why does James think he's so attractive? 

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11 minutes ago, chenoa333 said:

That's one of life's great mysteries.

Who is god? How did civilization begin? Does Bigfoot exist? Why does James think he's so attractive? 

I just started watching this episode.  Who is the guy talking to James about giving up weed?  Is he an addict too?

Lala would plan it so she would get to breastfeed on camera.😏

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I'm watching the "extended footage" version and they showed:

  • Raquel telling Arianna that she blacked out at their party
  • Tom and Tom discussing cocktail concepts for their bar
  • Lisa Vanderbucks "paddles" Schwartz, and by that, I mean beats him at ping pong. 
  • Schemer talks about her weird little toe while the gals talked about wiki-feet.

 

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54 minutes ago, Gharlane said:

I'm watching the "extended footage" version and they showed:

  • Raquel telling Arianna that she blacked out at their party
  • Tom and Tom discussing cocktail concepts for their bar
  • Lisa Vanderbucks "paddles" Schwartz, and by that, I mean beats him at ping pong. 
  • Schemer talks about her weird little toe while the gals talked about wiki-feet.

 

In other words, I missed nothing - thanks for that reassurance! 😄

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On 11/17/2021 at 6:35 PM, hoodooznoodooz said:

 

Why does James think he’s so attractive? Because his mommy told him he is?

 

It's kind of like the Dunning-Kruger effect - the people who are really bad at something, believing that they're great at it, because they don't know enough about it to KNOW that they're really shit.  Because there are so many women who find British accent so appealing, he started believing that he's more attractive than he actually is and he doesn't have enough self-awareness to realise that there's nothing particularly attractive about him.  NOTHING.  If you take the focus off his accent and listen to the content of what he's saying, everything coming out of his mouth is stupid, boring and caustic.

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5 hours ago, SarahPrtr said:

It's kind of like the Dunning-Kruger effect - the people who are really bad at something, believing that they're great at it, because they don't know enough about it to KNOW that they're really shit.  Because there are so many women who find British accent so appealing, he started believing that he's more attractive than he actually is and he doesn't have enough self-awareness to realise that there's nothing particularly attractive about him.  NOTHING.  If you take the focus off his accent and listen to the content of what he's saying, everything coming out of his mouth is stupid, boring and caustic.

The bolded makes me laugh!
I think you nailed it! I myself am guilty of loving an English accent. But I have watched this show for so many years that James’s accent can no longer distract me from what a garbage human being he is.

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On 11/17/2021 at 2:35 AM, hoodooznoodooz said:

Why does James think he’s so attractive? Because his mommy told him he is?

While not a Quasimodo, James certain has a unique appearance.

Alas, he's quite an arsehole.

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I like Scheana. Why does everyone pick on her? Lala is pretty but she is not that not nice. James is obviously very much attracted to Lala still. 

Edited by JustbeingReal
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7 hours ago, Gharlane said:

While not a Quasimodo, James certain has a unique appearance.

Alas, he's quite an arsehole.

I always thought he was odd looking - but when LVP used to do those "staff photo shoots" he was surprisingly photogenic!

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There is definitely a difference between being good looking and photogenic.  James is an ok looking guy who is very photogenic

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2 hours ago, Wicked said:

There is definitely a difference between being good looking and photogenic.  James is an ok looking guy who is very photogenic

Yes - but to answer the question about why he thinks he's so hot - maybe he just looks at pictures of himself 😄

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On 12/1/2021 at 8:32 AM, Gharlane said:

While not a Quasimodo, James certain has a unique appearance.

I just see an elf whenever he’s onscreen. An anxious Keebler’s elf with a penchant for pasta, pot, and put-downs. 

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6 hours ago, Sun-Bun said:

I just see an elf whenever he’s onscreen. An anxious Keebler’s elf with a penchant for pasta, pot, and put-downs. 

As my son’s Johns Hopkins CTY instructor would say, “Nice alliteration!”

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On 12/1/2021 at 4:47 PM, princelina said:

I always thought he was odd looking - but when LVP used to do those "staff photo shoots" he was surprisingly photogenic!

Was DJ Muppet Baby on the show when successful businesswoman Lisa Vanderbucks did those calendar photoshoots?

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5 hours ago, Gharlane said:

Was DJ Muppet Baby on the show when successful businesswoman Lisa Vanderbucks did those calendar photoshoots?

He was for at least one year - the 50s diner one - he had a very "James Dean" look.  (Another odd looking guy who photographed well!)

https://www.bravotv.com/vanderpump-rules/photos/inside-surs-stylish-photo-shoot#10643201

 

Edited by princelina
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