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S03.E08: Selective Virtues


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Alina's mom wants Alina to come back to Russia; Kenny is taken aback by Armando's request; Sumit's parents move in; Ari questions coming back to the U.S.; Ellie confronts Victor about his affair; Evelin tells Corey she wants a divorce.

 

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So Jenny has a female friend. Funny she's never been mentioned before. They go for tea. Friend tells her that her mother in law moved in for 3-4 months. Sumit's parents probably hope to stay til Jenny has had enough and goes back home.

Is Ellie footing the hotel and apartment bill for her and Victor? One to two months can be expensive. If he did cheat on her and is only using her, come clean so she can go home. Nice to see the more civilized part of life with nice buildings, public transit, cars, etc.

Too bad Ari didn't tell her parents that she would like to hop in to a nice, hot shower, clean up, have something to eat, maybe have a nap. Of course Bini is with his friends. Yes, you can book the surgery the next day.

 

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So, right after landing in the U.S., Ari starts guilting her parents with how much Bini misses his son, and needs to come to the U.S.      She's such a manipulator, and I bet that's another reason she wanted Avi's hernia surgery in the U.S.

And now Jenny needs a 'friend' on camera, so we get to see another production crew faking being a friend?  

Edited by CrazyInAlabama
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Surprised Ari and the baby are not required to isolate for a few days? Gosh Avi is so so cute! 

Yes Janice, it's been "so hard" for YOU. Side eye to Janice. Enabler. I think she is 90% of Ari's problem. 

When Victor came in the apartment and turned on the running hot water like it was magic.  He is 1000% using her.  And hey, if she's down for that- she just needs to know going in. She is going for love, and he is a man going for survival and the good life. 

Jenny, meh. Good on her "friend" to remind  Jenny that she IS in India. 

 

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17 hours ago, Frozendiva said:

Too bad Ari didn't tell her parents that she would like to hop in to a nice, hot shower, clean up, have something to eat, maybe have a nap. 

 

Yes! The first thing I would want was some sort of fast grab American fast food binge (maybe Starbucks?), a 45 minute shower with unlimited screaming hot water, her mother's lasagna and to sleep in her own bed. Weird she said the surgery. Wonder if she did quarantine in her apartment by the dr's office for a few days and the arrival was all for filming a few days later, she'd had all that, and really did want to schedule the surg.  I'll go FBI the hair and outfit scenes...

Edited by Alonzo Mosely FBI
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4 hours ago, Alonzo Mosely FBI said:

Wonder if she did quarantine in her apartment by the dr's office for a few days and the arrival was all for filming a few days later, she'd had all that, and really did want to schedule the surg.

She might have quarantined at her parents after her arrival, we just won’t see that. I wouldn’t be surprised if she had a consultation with the surgeon already set up and then would schedule the surgery when she saw him.  

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Maybe the family and camera crew weren’t allowed inside. Newark is a busy airport and they probably couldn’t clear the area for filming like we often see when people arrive at a suspiciously empty terminal. It appeared like they were waiting for her at the international Arrivals parking lot. 

Edited by magemaud
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I have never wanted to slap the stupid grin off of Sumit’s face more than when he was giggling about how his mama cleans better than Jenny does. Mother Sumit can’t be that thorough of a housekeeper, or Sumit would have learned how to pick up a damn broom somewhere along the way!

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8 hours ago, nutella fitzgerald said:

I have never wanted to slap the stupid grin off of Sumit’s face more than when he was giggling about how his mama cleans better than Jenny does. Mother Sumit can’t be that thorough of a housekeeper, or Sumit would have learned how to pick up a damn broom somewhere along the way!

I don't think so. India is India and boys are treated like they are gods and do nothing. My Greek ex FIL was great at cooking and cleaning but my ex husband picked up shit. 

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The Liar and the Tool:  The Tool is just not getting it.  He is being as clear as a bell.  His parents and his wants and needs come first.

Ellie:  If he did not mean what he said to the other woman, what makes you think he means what he said to you???   

Kenny and Armando:  He is crying AGAIN!  If going on 60 people don’t have babies then perhaps they should not hook up with a young partner.  Something to think about.

Alina and the Sanctimonious Shit:  If she stays with him, she deserves everything she gets.  Go Mama Alina!!  You tell him.  Caffeine BAD Sex GOOD.🤣🤣

Corey and Evelyn:  Don’t care. 

Bini and Ari:  NOW she thinks maybe it was not a good idea to come to the States because she’s worried that Bini will actually have a good time while she’s gone. I thought the surgery in the United States was essential!

Edited by Kid
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35 minutes ago, Kid said:

Bini and Ari:  NOW she thinks maybe it was not a good idea to come to the States because she’s worried that Vinny will actually have a good time while she’s gone. I thought the surgery in the United States was essential!

She is so obviously laying the groundwork for getting him here somehow. Maybe some kind of loophole medical hardship visa based on a bogus excuse like Avi can't travel back to Ethiopia after his surgery signed off by Doctor Daddy or his cronies

Edited by magemaud
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20 hours ago, Frozendiva said:

I wondered if her arrival was re-filmed. The parents and nephew picked her up outside the airport. Maybe COVID restrictions? Wondered why they were babysitting the nephew.

It was perplexing WHY they'd take a child/nephew with them to pick up Ari and Avi when Avi could have become infected with Covid along their travels. And ditto Ari too. Why on earth would you expose your other grandchild to that?!? I thought Janice was a nurse and her father was a doctor? How could they be so fucking dumb. Either that or producer shenanigans. These moron producers never think viewers will pick up on this shit but we always do.

4 hours ago, magemaud said:

She is so obviously laying the groundwork for getting him here somehow. Maybe some kind of loophole medical hardship visa based on a bogus excuse like Avi can't travel back to Ethiopia after his surgery signed off by Doctor Daddy or his cronies

With immigration issues being such a hotbed issue right now, I highly doubt Father Ari has the clout or pull with anyone that he could get Bini a waiver if he's currently not allowed in the US because he overstayed last time.

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7 hours ago, greekmom said:

I don't think so. India is India and boys are treated like they are gods and do nothing. My Greek ex FIL was great at cooking and cleaning but my ex husband picked up shit. 

I’m Indian-American! I have family and friends in India and I think Sumit is just lazy.

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2 hours ago, CrazyInAlabama said:

Just because Kenny has raised his kids, and has at least one grandchild, it doesn't mean that Armando doesn't want more children.    

Haven't you heard? It's Kenny's world and Armando is just allowed to live in it. Not only is Kenny a selfish prick, but his daughter is too, whining about how she doesn't want him to have more kids. Girl? Fuck off! You're a grown ass woman, get.your own life.

Edited by gingerella
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Steven with a Vagina has to be the weirdest little troll in the 90 day arena. Alina must have led a very sheltered life to think that he’s a prize worth leaving her family for. Mama Alina: grab your daughter and make a run for it before it’s too late. He’ll knock her up before the ink is dry on the marriage certificate. 

Jenny is a shit housekeeper and probably a terrible cook and I can’t wait to see Mother Sumit rip her a new one for it. It won’t be long before Jenny is hysterically sobbing in a production car on her way to the airport. Cut to Sumit, doing a happy dance. Mama probably has the not quite ex-wife waiting in the wings. I feel sorry for Father Sumit. He seems to be the sane, level-headed one in the family.

I just can’t with Areola.  She such a spoiled, entitled little princess. Every time she talks about making a family life in Ethiopia, I can practically see her pants catching on fire. After a few months of relative luxury in the US, she’ll say fuck Bini and create an excuse to permanently leech off mommy and daddy.  

I just got caught up on the last 4 episodes I missed and I see Evelyn still hates Cory but now she has an excuse to treat him like shit. 

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Ari has a very supportive family.  Her brothers seem nice.  Love how uncle Brad wouldn't let go of the little guy.  That they want Bini to come to the U.S. is a good sign.  In the meantime, Bini appears to be having a grand ole time.

One minute Alina seems mature and appears to have SteVen's number; the next minute she says she loves him and I am reminded that she is 21 years old.  She isn't even allowed to have a cup of coffee, but he is allowed to have sex.  Hypocrite!  Did he say one of his dalliances resulted in an unexpected pregnancy or did I mishear?  

 

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1 hour ago, Adeejay said:

  Did he say one of his dalliances resulted in an unexpected pregnancy or did I mishear?  

I’m rewatching that scene right now. A lot of people thought he said that, but at that point he was actually talking about abstinence being the best way to avoid pregnancy. Then he threw in an awkward comment that “only one girl has gotten pregnant being abstinent” and he was presumably referring to The Virgin Mary. He goes on to make some lame argument that “without experience, Faith cannot be tested” but Alina and her mom both call him out on that BS. 

Besides, I'm positive that if he’d gotten a girl pregnant he would have immediately married her! 

@nutella fitzgerald Jinx! 

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It was nice to see that some bunnies were saved from Nutalie’s clutches.

3 hours ago, nytonc said:

Steven with a Vagina has to be the weirdest little troll in the 90 day arena.

He’s certainly up there in the pantheon of Weirdest Little 90Day Trolls along with Ed and Colt. Tough to name a winner.

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Alina must be desperate to get out of the apartment she shares with mom and grandma; there is no other explanation why she would entertain marrying SteVen. She obviously sees SteVen as her ticket to a better life.

Ellie is exhausting. She thinks Victor really loves her and is not interested in her money, yet she has been sending him money the whole time. He moved in with another woman and his explanation is that it was during Covid as if that makes it somehow acceptable.

I laughed at Ari's comment that in the US she doesn't have a job and house. She doesn't have a job in Ethiopia either and the reason she has a house there, is because her parents are paying for it. 

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14 hours ago, nutella fitzgerald said:

I’m Indian-American! I have family and friends in India and I think Sumit is just lazy.

Awesome! We need a perspective like yours.

So am I correct in saying that Indian men are not as lazy as Summit and assist women in the household duties?  Because I was under the assumption they are just as lazy as Greek men.

Also, I did read online that there are retirement homes in India while they (show) is making it out like there isn't any.  Plus wouldn't it also fall on the younger son's responsibility to take care of the parents if Summit cannot?  So again I assume that this protest about Jenny is partially for show.

Any other info on these two nitwits and India would be great!

 

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6 hours ago, treeofdreams said:

I'm the first to admit that I am not a great housekeeper, but Jenny's kitchen?  Yikes!

I thought it was hilarious with everyone standing around watching her sweep the floor.

And the sounds she was making while sweeping…the grunting and sighing!  She must really be out of shape from all that “sleeping in and doing what she wants.”

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I suspect the dirty kitchen is for storyline.  Otherwise what are the two of them doing all day?   They don’t work, they can’t travel. Ok Sumit spends hours on his hairstyle, but Jenny obviously doesn’t.  Mother Sumit will liven things up … hopefully.  Jenny apparently hasn’t picked up any of the language if she thinks Mother Sumit is saying nice things because she’s smiling.
 

Steven gives me the shudders. He can’t help his looks I guess, but oh that rat face. Mother Alina seems unaware the mask is supposed to cover the nose as well.
 

Ari’s family all have an unfortunate habit of constantly grinning no matter what is being said. It’s unsettling. But her smile did disappear  when Bini couldn’t be contacted for a couple of hours because he’d been out with friends.   The baby is adorable. No way they’re going back.
 

The other storylines either irritate me or bore me.

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1 hour ago, greekmom said:

Awesome! We need a perspective like yours.

So am I correct in saying that Indian men are not as lazy as Summit and assist women in the household duties?  Because I was under the assumption they are just as lazy as Greek men.

Also, I did read online that there are retirement homes in India while they (show) is making it out like there isn't any.  Plus wouldn't it also fall on the younger son's responsibility to take care of the parents if Summit cannot?  So again I assume that this protest about Jenny is partially for show.

Any other info on these two nitwits and India would be great!

 

Sure. Everything really rests on what Sumit said in his confessional about wanting his life to get back to normal. By normal, he means a traditional Indian couple, where the man works outside the home to provide for the couple and the woman stays at home to manage the household. Sumit even says something about wanting to get a job and Jenny to “take care of him,” or handle all the household chores. This is almost certainly what he saw growing up in his own  household.

Sumit is trying to force himself and Jenny into the roles in which he saw his father and mother while ignoring the fact that their realities are very different. It is a safe assumption that Sumit’s mother began her marriage as a stay at home wife with the understanding that she would soon have children and be a full time stay at home mother (extremely common when Sumit was growing up, because it was reasonable for a family to get by on a single income). In Sumit’s fantasy world, Jenny is a stay at home wife while he goes out and works. The problems here are that a) among urban middle class married couples in 2021, stay at home wives aren’t the norm (married women typically work outside the home and may leave their jobs to stay home once they have kids) and b) Sumit has spent the past three years whining his protests about Indian traditions and how he is being unfairly restricted by them. Sumit complains about traditional Indian norms while wanting his home life with Jenny to follow outdated traditions that the rest of his community has already evolved past.

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9 hours ago, nutella fitzgerald said:
9 hours ago, nutella fitzgerald said:

He was saying abstinence is the best method of birth control, since only one woman who practiced it (i.e. Mary) has ever gotten pregnant. It must be that kind of wit that keeps Alina going back. Seriously, has anyone figured out what she could possibly see in this guy?

I missed that! 
I owe everyone an apology, earlier in the season I was reserving judgement on SteVen and said that maybe he was immature and could grow up a bit bit no - he’s a hypocritical, sanctimonious hobgoblin. *
* I realise it’s a TV show and I’m basing this on an edit. In the interests of full disclosure anyone using religion to push an agenda that keeps them at the top of the power structure is guaranteed to wind me up. 

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If Jenny wants to be accepted by Sumit's family, then she has to be a traditional daughter-in-law, and it means she becomes the family's housekeeper, cook, and all under the supervision of her mother-in-law.     Jenny brings nothing else to the table.   

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Ari and Bini -

I think my issue is this: Ari wants to live in Ethiopia when things are going well. I’ve no problem with her exploring all the medical options for Avi (if I was in the US and needed treatment I’d feel more comfortable coming home for it if possible as I’d feel I’d be more familiar with how those systems work). 
However, that’s part of the deal with emigration. If it happens again, if the treatment has to happen immediately..

I’m sorry for Bini to a point - I get the feeling he sees Avi as an extension of himself rather than an actual person with his own needs (didn’t do anything to present the medical case for staying, or look up the differences between the 2 systems) and it came down to “this will upset me so don’t go” if that makes any sense. 

I can’t be too mad at Janice for wanting them to move to the US - I’ve a sister in another country and I’d love her and her children to live closer. It’s not going to happen as they’ve their lives built there but all the same... a selfish bit of me would love if they moved. 
 

Both Ari and Bini seem really young? Immature? Or am I just jealous that my parents aren’t paying for my house and live in nanny/house keeper while I stay at home?🤣

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4 minutes ago, CrazyInAlabama said:

If Jenny wants to be accepted by Sumit's family, then she has to be a traditional daughter-in-law, and it means she becomes the family's housekeeper, cook, and all under the supervision of her mother-in-law.     Jenny brings nothing else to the table.   

She made it very VERY clear she is not an Indian woman, so........

I want these two to stay together as they deserve each other.  I have said it before, but Jenny strikes me as a person with an IQ in the low to mid 80's.  She can function, but some things just do not compute to her.  Sumit is probably the same.  I also believe Sumit has been trying to shake for for some time but she won't leave and the TLC money too good.  Hence, lather, rinse, repeat.

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6 minutes ago, CrazyInAlabama said:

If Jenny wants to be accepted by Sumit's family, then she has to be a traditional daughter-in-law, and it means she becomes the family's housekeeper, cook, and all under the supervision of her mother-in-law.     Jenny brings nothing else to the table.   

Exactly! I’d freak out if those were the expectations my in laws had ... you marry the whole family in a lot of cases.

Jenny - you can’t have it both ways. You want family Summit to accept you - do it their way. Otherwise, you have to deal with being excluded and that Summit might not be happy with that. 

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17 hours ago, CrazyInAlabama said:

Just because Kenny has raised his kids, and has at least one grandchild, it doesn't mean that Armando doesn't want more children.    

And Kenny was the primary caretaker for his grandson, wasn't he?

14 hours ago, gingerella said:

Haven't you heard? It's Kenny's world and Armando is just allowed to live in it. Not only is Kenny a selfish prick, but his daughter is too, whining about how she doesn't want him to have more kids. Girl? Fuck off! You're a grown ass woman, get.your own life.

She knows that if they have a kid, Kenny will be more tied to Mexico and less likely to return home. So he won't be home to provide her with free child care and cash in adversity. You just know she calls him whining piteously about being broke on the regular. 

11 hours ago, ezzy4 said:

I'm kinda surprised just how gross/dirty Jenny and Sumit's place is.  Those two can't seem to get their act togther in any way at all.  Dear Lawd. Ug.

I don't know why they don't hire a cleaner. Its common in India and not at all expensive. 

4 hours ago, FurBabyMama said:

I seriously hope Alina leaves steven for good. I’m glad her mom dug into him. 
 

but not for nothing, steven actually spoke pretty good russian. There were some complex words that I’m surprised he knew. Russian is my first language so I feel authorized to judge. 

Mormon boys become "Elders" at 19, when they go out on mission. Before that they undergo rigorous training including learning the language of the place they're being sent. Can't get converts if you can't talk to them!

1 hour ago, Pondlass1 said:

I suspect the dirty kitchen is for storyline.  Otherwise what are the two of them doing all day?   They don’t work, they can’t travel. Ok Sumit spends hours on his hairstyle, but Jenny obviously doesn’t.  Mother Sumit will liven things up … hopefully.  Jenny apparently hasn’t picked up any of the language if she thinks Mother Sumit is saying nice things because she’s smiling.
 

Those two crazy kids are probably in bed all day. Love's young dream. 

Ugh, I think I just grossed myself out of existence. 

And Steven maybe can't help his creepy, ratlike face. BUT he could bathe regularly, wear clothes that fit, and work on his personality. He's such a grubby, grimy looking little worm. And you just know he reeks. 

The most hilarious thing to me was Steven's utter shock that two mere women had the audacity to question him and hold him to account. Mormonism is very patriarchal. Men are superior, women are subordinate. In Martha Beck's book, "Leaving the Saints", she tells of teaching a Sociology class at BYU, (she has a PhD from Harvard). A male student tells her (I'm paraphrasing) that he'll always be her superior, even though he's an undergrad and she's a PhD holding professor, because he's a man. 

Edited by Pepper Mostly
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1 hour ago, Pondlass1 said:

I suspect the dirty kitchen is for storyline.  Otherwise what are the two of them doing all day? 

They are doing unspeakable things to each other. Mom and Dad are putting a big kink in their routine.

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Kenny and Armando:

I’m super biased as I love Armando. I think this is an issue with an age gap. Kenny isn’t wrong to point out he’s a whole generation older than Armando and that’s something they need to consider. Armando is totally right to express that he wants more children. It’s not on Armando to consider Kennys children, just Kenny himself. I really hope they work it out.

I’m straight and cis so I can’t understand the discrimination Kenny and Armando face - this is coming from a place of trying to learn. From my own experience growing up in a country that has seen massive social change in the last 20 years (legalised divorce, abortion and marriage equality) and is still working to separate church and state I can see how Armandos family are having a hard time. They had an idea of Armando and now they have to recalibrate- he’s gay. He’s moving far away. He’s with someone. Kenny is a lot older. He’s from a different country and doesn’t speak the language. They’re getting married. It’s change and while it’s all hopeful it’s a lot to process. That doesn’t minimise the hurt Kenny must feel, maybe it’s context? 
If I or one of my siblings had come out as gay or trans, my parents would have had a similar reaction I think - I’m basing this on conversations we’d have had when children of their friends would have come out - they’d have been worried about the discrimination they would have faced back then. The grandchildren on the other hand - the only question would be are you happy? Have you met someone? Are they good to you? So I’m seeing it that family Armando are in a similar space.

 

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18 hours ago, CrazyInAlabama said:

Just because Kenny has raised his kids, and has at least one grandchild, it doesn't mean that Armando doesn't want more children.    

True, but if you want more kids you might want to consider a partner who is age appropriate.  99% of 58 year olds don't want to spend their coming retirement years raising a little kid.  I certainly don't.  I think that is something both needed to figure out before they planned a life together.

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3 minutes ago, Dobian said:

True, but if you want more kids you might want to consider a partner who is age appropriate.  99% of 58 year olds don't want to spend their coming retirement years raising a little kid.  I certainly don't.  I think that is something both needed to figure out before they planned a life together.

Exactly - neither of them are wrong which makes it hard but it’s a binary choice and a legitimate deal breaker. 
* also, something same age couples could have agreed on beforehand and one could change their mind

Edited by TVandWine
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51 minutes ago, Pepper Mostly said:

...

The most hilarious thing to me was Steven's utter shock that two mere women had the audacity to question him and hold him to account. Mormonism is very patriarchal. Men are superior, women are subordinate. 

...

A lot of religions are! My mother would have been very involved in the local church and I still laugh about her coming home from a meeting where feedback was being solicited on what changes parishioners would like to see and she piped up to point out that women didn’t really have much involvement in decision making and seemed to be mainly doing the support jobs and all the other elderly ladies started nodding and filling in their forms with ideas on leadership ideas... while the priest was.. not impressed. 
 

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13 hours ago, nytonc said:

Steven with a Vagina has to be the weirdest little troll in the 90 day arena. Alina must have led a very sheltered life to think that he’s a prize worth leaving her family for. Mama Alina: grab your daughter and make a run for it before it’s too late. He’ll knock her up before the ink is dry on the marriage certificate. 

Jenny is a shit housekeeper and probably a terrible cook and I can’t wait to see Mother Sumit rip her a new one for it. It won’t be long before Jenny is hysterically sobbing in a production car on her way to the airport. Cut to Sumit, doing a happy dance. Mama probably has the not quite ex-wife waiting in the wings. I feel sorry for Father Sumit. He seems to be the sane, level-headed one in the family.

I just can’t with Areola.  She such a spoiled, entitled little princess. Every time she talks about making a family life in Ethiopia, I can practically see her pants catching on fire. After a few months of relative luxury in the US, she’ll say fuck Bini and create an excuse to permanently leech off mommy and daddy.  

I just got caught up on the last 4 episodes I missed and I see Evelyn still hates Cory but now she has an excuse to treat him like shit. 

Great post! 

I couldn't believe how filthy Jenny's house looked. When my mil was coming to visit (and she lived next door, so it was often) I straightened and cleaned like the Queen was coming to visit. (Well until I had kids, anyways. Then it became a losing battle!)  I'm hoping that it was a production doing. Or maybe now that Jenny has a good friend in India, she just doesn't have the time to tidy up. 

I think Ari keeps talking about going back to Ethiop-ya so that her parents can panic and offer her even more reasons to stay in Princeton.

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4 minutes ago, TVandWine said:

A lot of religions are! My mother would have been very involved in the local church and I still laugh about her coming home from a meeting where feedback was being solicited on what changes parishioners would like to see and she piped up to point out that women didn’t really have much involvement in decision making and seemed to be mainly doing the support jobs and all the other elderly ladies started nodding and filling in their forms with ideas on leadership ideas... while the priest was.. not impressed. 
 

Well, sure. But not like Mormons. Every single boy becomes an "Elder" at 19! 

And not just religions either. I worked in academia for over 25 years. One department I worked in was 90% women in leadership roles and administration. But of course a man was dean of the department. And to sit in staff meetings and watch him tell lame jokes to the obliging titters of a group of smart competent women, oof. 

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1 hour ago, CrazyInAlabama said:

If Jenny wants to be accepted by Sumit's family, then she has to be a traditional daughter-in-law, and it means she becomes the family's housekeeper, cook, and all under the supervision of her mother-in-law.     Jenny brings nothing else to the table.   

Are you forgetting her social security check??!!  

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1 hour ago, TVandWine said:

can’t be too mad at Janice for wanting them to move to the US - I’ve a sister in another country and I’d love her and her children to live closer. It’s not going to happen as they’ve their lives built there but all the same... a selfish bit of me would love if they moved. 

I have a son who lives on the West Coast and I live in New England. He and his family live there because that’s where his job is. I’d love for them to move back East, but I have never, ever laid on the guilt or manipulation (and I’m a Jewish mother, so guilt is second nature). I’ve always told my kids that they need to go where their lives take them. It would be a Pyrrhic victory for me if they moved closer but had to sacrifice just to make me happy.

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