S05.E19: Chapter Ninety-Five: RIVERDALE: RIP (?)

[Bort]

As the gang pick up the pieces after a rough year back in Riverdale, an incident at Pop's forces them to make a difficult decision about the future of the town.

Airdate: 6 Oct 2021

(I don’t even want to know what’s going on with this insane episode title.)

[Quark]

This episode was a hoot and a half.

It was absolutely hilarious seeing a dozen people point their guns at Hiram. 

Cheryl is a complete nutcase.

Looking forward to next season and all the craziness that will unfold.

[MaggieG]

28 minutes ago, Quark said:

This episode was a hoot and a half.

It was absolutely hilarious seeing a dozen people point their guns at Hiram. 

Cheryl is a complete nutcase.

Looking forward to next season and all the craziness that will unfold.

Cheryl really is nuts. Of course there was an ancestor burned at the stake

Omg yes, everyone pointing their weapons at Hiram, Cheryl with her bow and arrow and Tabitha with what looked like a taser??

I'm kind of loving Fangs and Toni but I'm confused about the relationship. Wasn't she a surrogate for Fangs and Kevin? But Kevin no longer seems involved now that he and Fangs are broken up. Did they use Fangs or Kevin's sperm?

[SourK]

Cheryl: Let me guess, the town council's going to be you, Betty, Veronica, and Jughead.

Archie: No. It's Jughead's girlfriend, Betty's mom, my uncle, and our friend Toni. And no one who signed the petition knew that or got to vote.

The secondary characters who showed up at the gym: Okay, I guess that sounds fair.

Other thoughts:

• My favourite scene was when Archie and Veronica were plotting to kill Hiram and Reggie knocked on the window and they were like, "Not now."
• Pop's looks pretty good for a place that was tragically destroyed in a fire.
• I guess Chad's really dead, but I'm tickled that the boys on Wall Street have apparently gone from calling Veronica "The She-Wolf of Wall Street" to "The Black Widow of Wall Street," as though they tag "of Wall Street" onto every name.
• Hiram can still destroy the town without physically being there.
• I'm actually really enjoying the thing where Cheryl adopted this kid and the kid just has to deal with whatever happens at Thornhill.

[thuganomics85]

The "Cheryl's ancestor starring in her own Salem's Witch Trial" scene was golden on every level. On any other episode seeing K.J. Apa in an Indiana Jones-like outfit or Madelaine Petsch camping it up with an over-the-top British accent would be the highlight, but nothing, I repeat, nothing will top that old-timey moustache Cole Sprouse was rocking.  Screw it: I want them to have an entire episode; no, season; of that time period and following the characters in all of those ridiculous outfits and facial hairs.  Hell, I'm sure they could still find some way to get Camila Mendes in there too.  Once again, I commend the cast for their ability to apparently get through all of this to have takes that don't devolve into them just doubling over with laughter.

So, thanks to a last minute save from Reggie, they have actual proof of Hiram killing someone.  But instead of using it to lock him up for good, they just.... banish him from Riverdale?  And assume he wouldn't find some way to not retaliate?  Really, they would have been better off just killing him if they were going to be that half-assed about it.  I did love how pretty much everyone was wielding a gun in case Hiram tried to fight them.  Oh, and Cheryl and her bow.  And I believe Frank was sporting a baseball bat, just in case Hiram somehow dodge every single bullet and arrow.  Then it would be Uncle Frank's time to shine, baby!

Honestly, Pops didn't look half-bad from that torching.  I guess that's what you should expect when you hire a Ghoulie to do a job for you...

The whole likely set up of making Cheryl the next big antagonist (again) was so hilarious.  On one hand, it really would have been easier if Archie and the gang just rolled their eyes and went through with the apology, because I honestly doubt the Riverdale citizens would have given that much of a shit about it.  On the other hand, Cheryl was just being so... Cheryl about it.  Especially her claims that she has to pay for her family sins and not the rest, because frankly, Cheryl really hasn't suffered that much compared to others.  Hell, she hasn't even really paid for the sins she herself committed.  No one has clean hands here, to put it mildly.

Oh, and it looks like Veronica and Reggie are now running some kind of underground casino.  Sure....

At least the Core Four had the wherewithal to not just nominated themselves for the town council, but it being Alice, Frank, Toni, and Tabitha isn't exactly an unbiased selection there (although, to be fair, they did just reject Veronica's casino idea pretty quickly.) 

Feels like attempt number ten at making Archie and Betty happen.

And so another season of Riverdale ends, and once again I won't even pretend I won't be back.  This show is wild, y'all!  I never know what to expect and I love it!!

Edited October 11, 2021 by thuganomics85

[rmontro]

50 minutes ago, thuganomics85 said:

nothing, I repeat, nothing will top that old-timey moustache Cole Sprouse was rocking. 

Quoted for truth.  I would like to see a episode or two devoted to old-timey Riverdale.  If the show even survives.  I guess this was the season finale, but in November there's going to be a five episode special event?  What the heck is this supposed to be?

Part of me thinks that Hiram will now leave the show, and that Cheryl will be the new big baddie.  

I wasn't clear on the threat against Hiram.  It sounded like they were going to release the video in one hour, which would leave Hiram on the lam.  And in danger of being apprehended at any time.  But I get the impression they really meant that they were going to release the video IF he didn't leave.  They could have just left him in jail and charged him with murder, but I guess they still thought he might weasel out of it.  But he's just as likely to weasel out of this.

I don't know what it is, but there's something about Archie and Betty together that still feels skeevy to me.  With all the triangles going on, I was wondering why Reggie wasn't getting involved.  In the comics he was always a rival for Veronica. 

This was a weird, disjointed season, not sure what the future holds.  I get a vibe that some of the actors are tired of it.

[HeatLifer]

Happily will be tuning back in now that Betty and Archie are back together. They have freaking excellent chemistry. There is so much story left to be told there, too. I’m glad the writers saw that.

[Dobian]

So Cheryl is all pissed off at the gang because she learned that their ancestors burned her great-great-great whatever (who she had never heard of) at the stake in the 1890s (for which revenge was exacted tenfold already) and demands a public apology or she will throw a hissy fit and plot their ruin, but her extended relatives murdered Betty's sister and threw her in a car trunk in the present day and that's perfectly fine.  Ummmm... okay.

Let's make daddy leave Riverdale or we will give the footage of him murdering someone to the FBI.  We sure have him over a barrel!  Of course, if we had simply given the footage to the FBI instead of the blackmail theatrics, he would be going to prison for life instead of blowing up Archie and Betty! 

[SourK]

I'm uncomfortable with the plot line about Cheryl's ancestor. I'm not sure it's awesome to create a narrative where a character looks insane for being upset about / asking for an apology related to historical injustice -- and I feel like they know that on some level, because they made absolutely sure only white characters were involved.

I actually really hope they just blow past that next season and go with the creepy girls' school idea. I don't trust them to dramatize this issue well at all.

On 10/9/2021 at 11:45 PM, Dobian said:

Let's make daddy leave Riverdale or we will give the footage of him murdering someone to the FBI.  We sure have him over a barrel!  Of course, if we had simply given the footage to the FBI instead of the blackmail theatrics, he would be going to prison for life instead of blowing up Archie and Betty! 

Yeah, I don't know what it is with these kids, but they never want to turn someone in for their crimes. It's as though they think that whatever this person has done only matters in so far as it affects them personally, and there's no thought to whether there are other victims involved. Even if he left Archie alone, he'd 100% find someone else to try to kill.

Also, I'd low-key like to watch a season where Hiram is on trial and a judge who's not from Riverdale tries to understand WTF goes on in that town.

[tennisgurl]

First of all, sign me up for a few batshit crazy flashback episodes of the gangs identical ancestors, I really need more of Cole in that ridiculous handlebar mustache. It does not surprise me even a tiny bit that there were witch burnings in Riverdale in the 1890s or that a whole generation of men died under the blossom woods and no one ever talks about any of these huge events, that seems totally on  brand. Was Hiram really the bad guy for wanting to get rid of this town? It seems like nothing good has ever happened here except for milkshakes. 

This season has been a real rollercoaster ride, with some shockingly decent episodes mixed with some really awful ones, all with that classic Riverdale crazy sprinkled over it. Even after everyone hilarious chased Hiram out of town with torches and pitchfork's, we all know he'll show up again. Even without a bomb under Archie's bed. 

Cheryl deciding to avenge her random identical ancestor (who it seems like already avenged herself) by cursing the gang because their identical ancestors did the burning is just so batshit crazy, its classic Cheryl. She's probably just thrilled that for once it was her family that was wronged and not some crazy relative of hers wringing everyone else, although given its Riverdale I wouldn't be surprised if it turned out that the townsfolk of the 1890s had a reason to burn her, like she was actually running a death cult and was sacrificing girls to the dark maple gods. Cheryl's righteous fury is even more silly given that not only has her family done about a thousand evil things since the towns founding and she has hardly suffered that much for her families sins, but Cheryl herself has never faced real consequences for the billions of fucked up things that she's done. Oh, and Cheryl really is a witch now I guess?

Pops looks pretty damn good for being set on fire. 

This show is so nonsensical, but I cant say that I wont be back. Its crazy always manages to suck me in again. 

[rmontro]

1 hour ago, tennisgurl said:

Cheryl's righteous fury is even more silly given that not only has her family done about a thousand evil things since the towns founding and she has hardly suffered that much for her families sins, but Cheryl herself has never faced real consequences for the billions of fucked up things that she's done.

Yeah, wasn't she paying some sort of penance and trying to atone for all her family's evilness (until she started the cult centered around her deceased brother, of course)?  But now she's flipped all that 180 degrees and new it's everyone else who has to atone and she is judge, jury, and executioner.  I also kind of like that she's got little Bettina under her wing to serve under her horrible role modeling and learn how to be a vengeful, wackadoodle, self centered witch - and work in the mines.

[Chicago Redshirt]

On 10/8/2021 at 3:56 PM, thuganomics85 said:

The whole likely set up of making Cheryl the next big antagonist (again) was so hilarious.  On one hand, it really would have been easier if Archie and the gang just rolled their eyes and went through with the apology, because I honestly doubt the Riverdale citizens would have given that much of a shit about it.  On the other hand, Cheryl was just being so... Cheryl about it.  Especially her claims that she has to pay for her family sins and not the rest, because frankly, Cheryl really hasn't suffered that much compared to others.  Hell, she hasn't even really paid for the sins she herself committed.  No one has clean hands here, to put it mildly.

They are running out of Blossoms to be the bad guys. Just as Hogwarts should have burned Slytherin to the ground after the original defeat of You-Know-Who and salted the ashes, Riverdale needed to march on Thornhill and had the same sort of intervention-by-gunpoint on Cheryl, Nana and Penelope a long time ago.

I love how Cheryl was "Your ancestors did this to my dear ancestor so-and-so." Dear? Like you literally had no idea this person existed the day before!

[rmontro]

On 10/12/2021 at 12:01 PM, Chicago Redshirt said:

I love how Cheryl was "Your ancestors did this to my dear ancestor so-and-so." Dear? Like you literally had no idea this person existed the day before!

Yeah, but she looked just like her.

[Affogato]

The people who burned Abigail at the stake were all crushed in a minng accident and fertilized the Blossoms maple trees with their blood. (where did those Blossoms come from?) Retribution has been exacted. .It is not as if Abigail was burned and then the other families got rich on their ill gotten gains.  
 

And if that is not enough the town is already or  still cursed. 

Edited October 25, 2021 by Affogato
Stake not state

[Affogato]

So apparently Hiram detonated bombs all over town. 

[Andromeda]

Veronica and Archie sure didn't last long, considering how anxious he was for her to get divorced. Makes them both seem pretty foolish. Not sad about Barchie, though. Veronica fits much better with Reggie. They think alike, and have the same moral compass. Jughead is cute with his new love interest -- so glad he get off the sauce and SHAVED. He was looking so gross there at the start of the season, which fit with where his character was.

Sounds like Cheryl's ancestor really was a witch -- I hope that's because of Sabrina coming over to Riverdale. I loved that show, though it got silly toward the end.

The whole "incorporate Riverdale" thing is so weird. They acted like it would no longer be called Riverdale if it wasn't incorporated. There are tons of small unincorporated towns on the map. Here (in italics) are the unincorporated towns in my state. 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_cities_and_unincorporated_communities_in_Oregon

That's where the county comes in. I get that Hiram had the governor in his pocket (which begs the question of how many terms this state's governor is allowed to serve, since 7 years went by!). But what about the county commissioners? That's who's in charge of unincorporated areas of the county.

Riverdale really does exist in an alternate reality.

[LadyChaos]

Cheryl has always been a nutcase.....I mean she kept her brother dead body in her own personal gothic chapel for how long....