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S09.E06: Crappy Birthday to You


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On 9/23/2021 at 6:05 AM, jacksgirl said:

Plus her breasts look to be at least a cup size different from each other. I've seen her on IG in some cute dresses, this thing was awful. 

I was so distracted by her lazy eyed boob on the right I did not hear a thing they were saying.  It was pointing in a completely different direction than the left one.  It looked like it would hurt just left hanging there.  I must say she has zero issues with being heavy and nearly naked in front of thousands of viewers (notice the thousands and not millions? ok it cracked me up).  Would that be considered good body image?  I wear a cover up just going from my condo to the pool.  Just seems polite right?   

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On 9/23/2021 at 3:59 PM, Tipsymcstagger said:

Whitney larping as a personal trainer will never not be funny. I know it’s all producer engineered - but if I were the client and Will fobbed me off to this behemoth I’d be a) insulted and b) ask for my money back. She was so full of herself during her “shadowing” session. And Will can GTFOH with his ridiculous ass pats. We see you Will. You and Jessica will do about anything for reality coin but I’ll bet you won’t really hire her. If you do you’re just as bad as her barnacles. Maybe worse because you’re putting your professional “health and wellness guru” reputation on the line.

Let's not forget that even if Whit passed the certification, she would be responsible for providing her own insurance & bring in her own clients. Yeah, ok. 😏

I always thought BGDC was her best idea. Not that she could actually lead a class herself anymore, as evidenced by the disgusting & yet compelling wet & wild fat porn twerk session at the retreat that she served up, even though she was asked to lead a class.  

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1 hour ago, Snarkastikate said:

I always thought BGDC was her best idea. Not that she could actually lead a class herself anymore...

She could have turned it over to Todd to run, paid him, and still have been raking in the dough, but her ego wouldn't allow that.

Edited by all4mom2
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On 9/23/2021 at 3:44 PM, SevenCostanza said:

They do look two different sizes. I can't believe she walks around like that.  She needs support asap.  She looked so gross in that "bathing suit" (looked more like a leotard).  I also think she wore that because if it got wet it would look like she was naked.  There was no type of lining or anything in it so if it got wet it would be super clingy and extra gross.  

The more I think about it (and I don't know why I do!), the more I've concluded it has to be the naked thing.  At the fat girls' retreat, she was wearing a normal bathing suit.  The difference is that was around women, hence no need to show off her senshus body, but the rafting trip was around men, where she needed to flaunt her ample senshus-ness.  

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On 9/26/2021 at 5:26 PM, Ketzel said:

Fencing? Karate? Hot Yoga? Kickboxing? Rhythmic Gymnastics? Synchronized Swimming?

 

I was about to suggest a storyline where Whit introduces “cold yoga” to the world, but then found out it’s already a thing:

https://www.healthline.com/health-news/is-cold-yoga-the-next-exercise-craze#What-about-hot-yoga?

Maybe she introduces cold yoga to Greenville? The only problem is she doesn’t have a built-in excuse (“it’s so hot!”) to strip down, but she would definitely spend the whole class pointing out how hard her nipples are!

I think the potential comedic value of fencing is also WAYYYY HIGH!

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6 hours ago, MrsWitter said:

I was about to suggest a storyline where Whit introduces “cold yoga” to the world, but then found out it’s already a thing:

https://www.healthline.com/health-news/is-cold-yoga-the-next-exercise-craze#What-about-hot-yoga?

Maybe she introduces cold yoga to Greenville? The only problem is she doesn’t have a built-in excuse (“it’s so hot!”) to strip down, but she would definitely spend the whole class pointing out how hard her nipples are!

I think the potential comedic value of fencing is also WAYYYY HIGH!

Or maybe sumo wrestling?  Suitable for her build and her self-image as a feminist!

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7 hours ago, MrsWitter said:

I was about to suggest a storyline where Whit introduces “cold yoga” to the world, but then found out it’s already a thing:

https://www.healthline.com/health-news/is-cold-yoga-the-next-exercise-craze#What-about-hot-yoga?

Maybe she introduces cold yoga to Greenville? The only problem is she doesn’t have a built-in excuse (“it’s so hot!”) to strip down, but she would definitely spend the whole class pointing out how hard her nipples are!

I think the potential comedic value of fencing is also WAYYYY HIGH!

::instantly Googles 'cold yoga near me' :: omg I never heard of cold yoga but I WANT! 

 

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She's reached the point of absolute despair to keep this shit show on the air, or:

She's reached the point of despair

To keep this shitshow on the air

as John Keats used to say.  And my god what an awful, awful "friend" she is, firing Ashley by letting Ashley read an email about this fucking App.  Did she ever, ever apologize for screwing her friend over?

And Chase's secret, which he is compelled to tell Whitney?  Babies are more expensive than he thought, and he'd like some more TLC money, please, so could he please be in a few more episodes?

Are her parents allowed to divorce her?  How about the barnacles?  Can't TLC pay them off, some kind of severance package, to disappear?  To buy back some self-respect?  I want Ashley to kneecap her and then run away laughing maniacally.  I will provide you with a safe house, Ashley.  Do it.  You know you want to do it.  I guarantee you will get away with it.  I'll confess to it if necessary.  Just do it.  It will feel so good.

She has truly, *truly* revealed herself to be The Worst Person In The World.

PS  Why are her lips big one minute, small the next?  And where are *my* sweeping eyelashes?  And my Peleton, come to think of it?

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10 hours ago, stoppro said:

No it must be pig yoga.that is the one that fits this whitless animal.

Pigs are intelligent creatures who never try to take over their parents' lives while totally fucking up their own.  Pigs do not hire their friends then fail to tell said friends when the job no longer exists.  Pigs do not mistreat *anyone* and yet we savor bacon, and ham sandwiches.  Whitney gives us nothing to savor, nothing to make everything else better.

There apparently are people who are devoted to Whitney, who encourage her to act like this--I guess because it's the way they would like to act but can't because they were brought up right--but the rest of her viewers are, imo, people like us, who are puzzled and horrified by her behavior and by her in general, by the fact that anyone would want to spend time with her, by her presence on TV.  Without us "haters" the Whitney lovers would have little or no reason to support her so feverishly, so I guess there is balance in the world tonight.

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