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S09.E16: Bali Highs and Lows


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I found it so strange that Lizzie had no memory of all the texting she and Tamra did on her birthday. She must have been really drunk and she ended up looking pretty, well, dumb (or dumber, according to Vicki). And then they show the awful "boner" comment she made to her husband and I think she should probably go easy on the alcohol when filming.

I'm really curious to know the story of why Danielle was cut off to the degree she's been, as well. It's one thing to be relegated to "friend," but it really does seem like they've gone out of their way to show her as little as possible. She IS boring, but that can't be the only reason.

Eta: forgot about the marry, shag, kill game. Call me a prude, but I would not be cool with one of my friends choosing shag for my husband, or the other way around. Game or not, and even trusting that nothing would actually happen, it would make me super uncomfortable. I do believe Lizzie though. I wonder if we'll get an answer from Heather; she was there when everyone announced their choices.

Edited by Harperlee1
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Wasted on them indeed.

What never fails to disgust me about some of the ladies (mainly Vicki and Tammy Sue) are how they can be so damn judgmental when traveling. Shock and ewws when they saw more than one family with a baby on a moped in Bali kinda made me want to scream. Seriously not everyone in the world is going to be running around in an empty or half empty SUV guzzling gas and spewing out fumes. You do what you gonna do with the means and tools available to you.

Tamra's "I thought we were going to Bali, not Tijuana" when she saw the more "common areas" as they rode to their all expense paid luxury vacay made me want to simultaneously vomit and slap her. Did she expect the whole island to be wall to wall 5 star luxury hotels, day spas, bars and nightclubs? The poor locals who have the misfortune to wait on her hand and hoof have to live somewhere. And seriously, the area didn't look squalid. It wasn't covered in trash. Whether it be abroad or here in the USA, people live all kinds of ways dependent upon their income. Tamra should know that damn well being from the trailer born. The scenery was gorgeous. All of it. I loved the juxtaposition of the temples, statutes with signs of everyday life, like the corner store. It just seemed like they were like "aww, we have finally arrived" only after they had been safely ensonsced in their expensive suites. I get wanting your creature comforts but it is like they can only stand but so much 'other culture' exposure. Why travel half way around the world to eat at McDonalds everyday? That is the impression they give me.

I wish I could travel business class, but that seating was weird. Was that Virgin Airlines? I heard about those pods.

These housewives are some of the most provincial closed-minded folks across almost all of the franchises. Atlanta managed to go to South Africa and still wasn't as ugly. Vicki and her staff thought there would be no access to the internet at all in Bali. Ugh.

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I barely know who Danielle is, couldn't pick her out of a lineup, but she got to go to Bali.  Huh.

 

Vicki is back to playing the role of Poster Girl for the Worker Party.  It didn't sound like she'd be doing any real work, either--she wanted internet so she could check up on her employees.  She's insane.  She's that boss who comments when you're two minutes late coming back from lunch.

 

It seems both Lizzie and Tamra "forget" the things that they do and say when they drink too much.  I still can't believe what Lizzie said to/about her husband in the party bus.  She needs to work on her receipts, though.  She clearly didn't remember texting Tamra that night otherwise she would never have kept this grudge going.  Tamra made her look foolish.  Also?  It's clear to me that Lizzie doesn't like Tamra even at that point, so why does she care SO MUCH that Tamra wasn't there.  It's just a birthday party, who cares?

 

Both Lizzie and Danielle should be annoyed with Vicki for the dumb and dumber comment, but Danielle either needs to confront Vicki or let it go and stop talking about it.  She's mentioned it like three times in three different places.  Passive aggressively mentioning that you're the "dumb" one at dinner isn't really cutting it.

 

All of them should be grateful that they went to Bali and not... Montana.  

Edited by candy moocher
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I would pretend I couldn't speak english if I ever was in the same place as those women. Nasty pieces of work and just plain ignorant. Why does Bravo let them out of the continental US?

I was just fascinated that Vicki understood what a pun was. At last.

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The editing, the leaving out of Danielle has me so lost with some portions of the storyline or why she is even there that it is not even funny. This is, by far, the most sloppily edited season. I'm curious as to WHY she was nixed from the regular line up.

Lizzie, I was on your side until you kept going on and on about Tamballs not calling you the next day. Who . Cares. Then the boner comment to your husband?? Oy vey, that made me about as uncomfortable as watching the Beadors public fights on the show.

I liked Shannon this episode. I even semi-liked Heather at the end for calling Trampa out on her shit. Can't wait to see her lose it.

Danielle is a waste and clearly phony.

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They should just fly these broads around for like 10 hours and drop them off at some beach hotel in the U.S.  Or just drop them off at some bar that has fake palm trees and a tropical theme, ply them with booze and say here's your vacation.  That's all most of them care about anyway.  Oh that and having internet access.

 

No one knew what a mousse was?  Admittedly, a shrimp mousse didn't sound that appetizing, but I would have at least tried it without being so damned juvenile.  For all the designer clothes, shoes, bags, mc mansions, and expensive cars, there is no class with Vicki and Tamra.  The other women didn't seem so rude, just maybe slap happy from the long trip.  

 

Anyone wishing that the elephant would spray her with water as she screamed for the upteenth time?  Major fail, elephant.  You disappointed me.

 

I will give Lizzie a slight pass for the drunken rambling on her birthday.  She thought she was going to have a party bus full of people, and her only guests were Vicki and Brooks.  God knows I would've have been snockered by the first traffic light.  

 

I believe Lizzie on the whole party game story.  The only time Tamra isn't lying is when she's silent, and then she's plotting her next move.

Cannot wait for next week.  Go Lizzie!    

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I was almost willing to forgive the mousse vs moose because their eyes looked so drowsy. Long flight + alcohol + first night jet lag = major brain fart. But there is no reason to be rude to the waiter.

 

And, with all their money, ESPECIALLY Heather and Terry, have they really never traveled before? So many of my doctor friends spent some time doing free medical rotations, not necessarily Doctors Without Borders, but some program or another. So have they never seen how the majority of the world lives? It is sad and embarrassing, especially to make fun of people.

 

And, Vicki, of course this looks like Hawaii, since you don't want to leave the resort and actually interact with the culture! How can you talk about how spiritual Bali is without actually, oh, talking to people? Visiting temples? Meditating? Something? Even in Hawaii, there is such a rich history and culture. 

 

And the drama, just wow. Wow wow wow. 

 

On a superficial note, I thought the ladies look better in Bali, maybe because they can't cake on the make-up in the heat. I thought Shannon especially looked younger.

 

Do you think Tamra was especially upset because Lizzie is the more "exotic" looking one? But I agree, I wouldn't want to play that game with friends. It is a recipe for weirdness and hurt feelings regardless of how it works out. There are some things I just don't want to know about my boyfriend. I'd rather live in peaceful ignorance. :)

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Lizzie's inability to get over the birthday fiasco is, in part, to me because she's pissed that the other women didn't/wouldn't/couldn't film with her.  I think she was quick to forgive Vicki for the "dumb and dumber" comment because Vicki showed up and her presence as the OG of the OC at least got her some screen time.  If that party bus was full of her sister's family and other off camera friends, no one would see a bit of it.  Danielle is such a non entity, whether she showed or not was wholly irrelevant.  Lizzie was trying to stay relevant and was pissed that the other women ditched her.  That being said, her little outburst to her husband about his manliness and a threat to leave him if she didn't get a good 35th birthday party indicates to me she is an entitled brat when it comes to birthdays at least.  I don't know many people past 30 who make a huge fuss over their birthdays, usually quiet dinner with family, maybe some cake, unless it is some milestone birthday.  Thirty four isn't a milestone. 

 

Anyway, I do believe Lizzie about the shag/marry/kill story because, like Shannon said, Tamara is not known for accuracy.  When Tamra was on the bed with Vicki and recounted it, she started with "Let me tell you what happened" (or thereabouts) which is one of her "tells" when she's spinning a yarn.

 

I like Shannon this episode; when she's not being attacked or lied to, and just kicking back, she's actually pretty fun.  I'd love for this show to morph into these women (minus some), just doing fun & ordinary stuff in their lives and not having to worry too much about story lines.

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I was actually able to watch the entire episode tonight! Here's my opinion:

First of all, I loved Shannon's hair on WWHL! My hair is long and I'm thinking about trying that cut. I liked the color too. She shouldn't show cleavage IMO. Her boobs really age her.

Vicki brought on the humor tonight, and she really can be very funny at times but then she starts trying too hard and it's not funny anymore. Oh, and Vicki? Skin tight dresses are not your friend.

I think Lizzy is beautiful. She was raised only about 30 minutes from where I live in a little redneck town.

Nothing to say about Heather except she needs to eat a pizza or ten. She is scary skinny.

I still don't know anything about the new girl. I'm not sure why she's even on the show.

Trashy Trampy Tamra - there are no words other than I can't wait until the reunion when everybody calls her on her bullshit. You can run, but you can't hide, Trampy!

I WANT TO GO TO BALI!! Why is it that these ungrateful bitches get to go but I don't? Yeah, I'm jealous and green with envy.

Edited by farmgal4
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I didn't think that most of the wives were rude or embarrassing in Bali.  Unfortunately Vicki behaved in typical fashion, very loud, crude and always complaining, and of course Tamra was only slightly less so, but I thought that Heather, Shannon, Lizzie and Danielle were gracious.

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I didn't think that most of the wives were rude or embarrassing in Bali.  Unfortunately Vicki behaved in typical fashion, very loud, crude and always complaining, and of course Tamra was only slightly less so, but I thought that Heather, Shannon, Lizzie and Danielle were gracious.

 

Maybe Vicki got confused and thought she was in Havasu again with all of her loudness and whooping it up.

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I knew Vicki would be the Ugly American when outside the USA. She is so culturally ignorant but probably fancies herself quite sophisticated since she has a condo in Mexico.

 

The constant screaming drove me nuts. They acted like little girls.

 

I'm so tired of Vicki always acting like she is so damn important her business can't function for 5 minutes without her. Once the financials came out in her divorce everyone found out she's not as successful as she's always portrayed. She doesn't do enough business to need to be connected to her office 24/7. I hate people with that attitude of self-importance.

 

Heather wasn't as annoying as usual. Didn't have her usual know it all attitude. Jet lag serves her well. Nice not to have to see or hear Terry.

 

What is with these women wearing makeup to the beach? Heather especially really had it on thick, down to full eye makeup and lipstick.

 

As beautiful as Bali is I would never survive a plane trip that long. Or be able to deal with that humidity.

Edited by happykitteh
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I am actually sad about this show tonight.

 

I mentioned I had been to Bali....it is so gorgeous, the people so gentle and kind (and this was a year after the bombing and tourism was dismal).

 

OMG, $5 massages on a beach or in a freestanding pagoda out in the water (and BIG tip). The shopping with vendors,  dinner on the beach. The temples, rice patties, arts and crafts. The sheer beauty and "peace."

 

And the disrespect to the staff and others that try so hard to make your trip wonderful made me sick.

 

Instead we get screaming and petty arguments over dinner in a fancy restaurant? Gagging, elephant wieners, talking about who would do another's husband. And gossip, gossip, gossip about slights in the past.

 

Oh, and the shrimp mousse.....

 

Why on earth does Andy think this is entertaining? Like Montana, Berkshires, and other trips the HW's take. Talk about living in a small little world.

 

I wish Heather and Shannon would stand up and demand other experiences than what they are doing. For me they were even somewhat likeable this episode. But then Heather is pretty pretentious and Shannon a little naïve. And both unworldly despite what they might think.

 

Vicki loves to be the clown tripping, screaming, and playing the buffoon. But at least she has internet so she can make sure her employees aren't late to work, or back from lunch 2 minutes late,  and leave on time. WTH?

 

Are none of them grateful for such a wonderful trip, and appreciate of another culture....rather than petty grievances about each other in the OC and hauling them all the way to Bali?

Edited by maggiemae
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These housewives are some of the most provincial closed-minded folks across almost all of the franchises. Atlanta managed to go to South Africa and still wasn't as ugly. Vicki and her staff thought there would be no access to the internet at all in Bali. Ugh.

I think they were just really hoping there would be no internet.

She must be a terrible boss. I can see her hanging over their shoulders and micro managing every little thing they do.

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Nothing to say about Heather except she needs to eat a pizza or ten. She is scary skinny.

 I'm of the opposite opinion. I think Heather is the only one with a good body. Her face is a disaster and I can't stand the woman but her figure is nice, IMO.

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I am so envious of this trip to Bali (NOT of the forever long flights to get there, though, UGH).  Rather than ride an elephant I would have much preferred to experience feeding one, or petting its ears, doing something that is an interaction with the majestic animal which makes it happy instead of just hitching a ride on it.

 

I have appreciated that Vicky has been a much calmer, more reasonable person this season that usual, until she acted like such a complete ass on this trip.  From screaming and honking the horn from the driver's seat of the shuttle, to freaking out because her feet were touching the elephant, and everything in between, she is firmly back on my shit list.  Just shut the eff up, you ridiculous cow.  Everyone screaming and running from the obviously friendly and not at all rabid dog was annoying.  I think Vicki was faking those dry heaves to teach the other women a lesson for not letting her sit up front like she had demanded.  One way or another, Vicki WILL get what she wants.

 

I don't really like any of the fighting on these shows, but because Tamra is such an evil succubus who is proud of being a shit stirring liar, I'm looking forward to her flouncing away in a fit because she didn't like being called out for her nastiness.  It's hard to stand her ground without Eddie there to keep her steady, I guess.  WAAAH.

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Why on earth does Andy think this is entertaining? Like Montana, Berkshires, and other trips the HW's take. Talk about living in a small little world.

 I would love to see an episode where Andy is forced to go on a trip with these women. And I mean the whole nine yards - traveling with them to the destination, every meal with them, every excursion.

Edited by happykitteh
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Do you think Tamra was especially upset because Lizzie is the more "exotic" looking one?

I thought the same thing.  I remember that conversation with Eddie and Tamra last year before they got married, and she said "I know you like/ dated exotic women" so maybe she is jealous of Lizzie.  Um, I don't think Lizzie is the one she should be worried about.  

 

Woah I didn't even recognize Shannon on WWHL! 

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I like Lizzie, and I think she's an asset to the show.  I liked her storyline about contemplating having another child, and I thought it was interesting to watch her market her swimsuit line.  I like that she cares about other peoples' feeling, and I think she's beautiful.  And now all of this goodwill is in question due to the demeaning remark she made to her husband, the really nice guy AND the guy who sees right through Heather and Tamra.  Damn.  If only she and Shannon had stopped short of belittling their husbands, there would be two women to actually like on this franchise.

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Or it just means you need to wash your ass!  LOL!   http://youtu.be/FE24lbugJCQ

OMG.  That was  too darn funny.  That blondie could have been Tamra!!!!!

 

Vicki, I'd do the same being stuck in a van with Heather and Tamra.

 

 

Marry, shag, kill.  Production missed out on that filming.  Eddie: Marry~ Exotic Lizzie  Shag~ Exotic Lizzie ~Kill trashyTamballs.   In my head with the green men, that's what I'm thinking Eddie said.  How did they miss that?

 

No wonder Tamra closed down her FB page.  BuhBye.  Too bad her lies weren't on the federal indictment level.  Yet.

Edited by Lablover27
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These women don't deserve to go on these trips.  It's awful to see them abroad -- shrieking, complaining, demanding cocktails, acting like the ignorant fools they are. Vicki's behavior at the dinner table -- unbelievably stupid and offensive.   Count me as another who saw all of the goodwill towards her this season just fly out the window. 

 

Imagine the freaking out if they actually had to experience the country from outside the comfort of the generic luxury hotel.  Beautiful for sure but generic all the same.  

 

LIzzie -- enough with the birthday party complaints.  You're in Bali, woman!  It's beyond pathetic to see them in such gorgeous surroundings, oblivious to anything else except the same stupid arguments about BS they brought with them from home. 

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I feel like I am watching a show that I don't even understand. Why the fuck is Lizzie so mad at Tamra? This makes no sense to me in any manner. I thought her blog would clear it up, but it really doesn't for me at all. And why isn't Tamra mad at Vicki at all, since Vicki told Lizzie that Tams didn't come because she didn't want to be there. This was thrown out there casually, but no one ever addressed it again. 

 

Word to Lizzie and the rest of these bitches: Tamra keeps all the texts. All of them. She keeps the emails, she keeps the voice mails. Like most of the viewing public, I want to see Tamra nailed for her behavior, but that shit last night was just stupid. It was so clear that Lizzie was trying to start something with Tamra and she came across looking foolish, which is why her blog goes on for pages and sounds like it was written by a loon. 

 

Suddenly this show feels exactly like S3 on the BH show, when we had to piece together what Brandi had said about Adrienne. At least in that instance I got they were having to navigate and tell a story around a potential lawsuit.  I have no idea what is going on here. Why the fuck didn't Bravo show us more of Lizzie's birthday party if the events of that night would be part of the story? This isn't a case of it happening when they weren't filming.  According to Lizzie she got very upset early on, and her husband disappointed her greatly. I would love to understand what this is all about.  Same thing with the Valentine's Day Party.  How great would it have been to see them play this Marry.Shag.Kill game? It appears this will be a major part of the story moving forward, and yet we saw none of it. Is it really possible that this is all because of the way they had to edit Danielle and her husband out of the show? Is that why the editing feels so wonky and we are seeing so much of the drama via flashbacks?

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I could not understand why these women dressed to the nines with a full face of makeup for a 24 hour flight.  I made a roundtrip transAtlantic flight in June and wore the most comfortable clothes I owned and absolutely not one stitch of makeup.  Maybe I'm weird.  Hell, I flew coach so I guess I am.

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I hate Heather's intro. I really just want to call her up and tell her that I DON'T think she has it all. 

 

 

Anyhow, on to the show. Do these women have to shriek at everything? Seriously. Do females over the age of 12 really do that? Scooters with kids on them? Shriek! Seeing monkeys and dogs in the wild? Shriek! Riding on top of an elephant? Shriek! Seeing an elephant's penis? Shriek! Trying a new food? Shriek! I would just be beyond embarrassed to travel with this group. When we see them out of their element, they come across as insanely sheltered. 

 

Whoa! @ that flashback of drunk Lizzie bashing her husband. Get a boner once a week? She'll leave him if he doesn't produce a good birthday next time? Hot damn. It would seem to me she's carrying a lot of bitterness about her marriage around and just unleashed when feeling emotional and in the cups. I was quite shocked. 

 

But even if Lizzie isn't a saint and certainly not my favorite housewife, and it seems she is done with the show, I think she really filled a great purpose in a short amount of time. She came, she got a good read on Tamra, she played nice, then exposed all her BS to the other housewives, and finally brought us the glorious moment of Tamra running away barefoot, screeching - "you'll never see my face again!" If only we could be so lucky. 

 

 

So....when your butt itches it's good luck? I thought it was worms. 

 

Best moment of the show - Vicky capsizing the kayak. I would love to see a vacation of just her and Shannon, sans their male counterparts. I bet it would be a real riot. 

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This episode for me:

- Long haul flight. Check

- ignorant tourists acting like fools. Check

- bitchiness and arguments. Check

- gorgeous location and unique culture wasted on HoWives. Check

Boring.

However, this episode also gave me a few lil' nuggets of tv gold:

- Tamra and Vicki walking up steps. Tamra warns Vicki about falling... and then Tamra falls. Ha ha. That would be a sweet laugh until I peed moment between me and one of my friends!

- The poor elephants 'playing' the harmonicas? Bad tv. Gold because it reminded me of sad, bad, practice that many places feel they need to use to keep the dumb tourists happy. Gold only because it was a poignant moment for me. A reminder for me to demand better from my travel experiences.

- Lizzie getting serious and letting it all OUT!! Tamra is toast! About time...this will lead to an even bigger nugget of gold next week! Yay!

- Vicki and Shannon on the canoe... Shannon flicking water at Vicki with her canoe; holding her drink between her legs; the falling in.... Another pee my pants if I was with my friends experience. Sweet and funny tv.

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We were hosed!  Producers played--multiple times--video of Tamra saying Brooks wants to f . . . me," and it was only part of the sentence "What would you do if I said Brooks wants to f . . . me?"  Puh-leeze.

 

It's like those movie advertisements where the reviewer is quoted as saying "a great movie," but he really said "this is not a great movie."

Edited by GussieK
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I'm thinking this is when Miss Terry calls David a penis!

 

But is he a giant elephant penis that sends everyone into hysterics? Or just a regular penis? Inquiring minds need to know. 

 

 

Vicki and her staff thought there would be no access to the internet at all in Bali. Ugh.

 

I swear that older lady that worked for Vicky was just trying to convince her that there would be no internet so she wouldn't get 5000 emails an hour while Vicki was out of the country. I think the mouse wanted to play (or just relax) while the cat was away. 

 

I feel like I am watching a show that I don't even understand. Why the fuck is Lizzie so mad at Tamra?

 

I think it was a combination of things. I don't think she was so upset that Tamra didn't come to her party, but that she didn't even bother to tell her she wasn't coming. It wasn't until Lizzie called her that Ms. Backdoor TammySue happened to mention, "oh yea, I can't come. My kid is sick". And this was an hour AFTER the party was supposed to have started. And then the next day Tamra was apparently trash talking Lizzie's dress via text to Danielle. I think Lizzie had probably heard Tamra talking crap about everyone all season and this was the final straw. There was no longer any doubt in her mind what a vile person Tamra was. 

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I have a soft spot for elephants.  They are such majestic, sensitive creatures.   To have the likes of those bitches riding on them made me sad.

 

I burst out laughing at Vicki flipping the kayak.   I was also LOLing  at Shannon struggling to adjust, all the while worrying about FISH.   They made me think of Lucy and Ethel.

 

Vicki was her annoying self, but I couldn’t help but notice how great she is looking lately.  Her new hair length is really working.  The turquoise dress with her hair pulled back like that (when they were having drinks by the pool) was very flattering for her.    

 

IMO opinion Shannon’s fashion choices just keep failing.  What was that polka dot monstrosity top she was wearing when they first got to Bali (at dinner I think).   Just eek.

 

Playing marry/shag/kill with a  group of friends is just about the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard of.   If that isn’t a recipe for disaster, I don’t know what is.

 

Lizzie and the boner comment towards Christian =YIKES !    

 

Heather looked like some sort of odd anime character with that hat on and that’s NOT a compliment.

 

I missed David this episode.   Yep.  I have a crush on him.

  • Love 2
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These housewives are some of the most provincial closed-minded folks across almost all of the franchises. Atlanta managed to go to South Africa and still wasn't as ugly. Vicki and her staff thought there would be no access to the internet at all in Bali. Ugh.

I love how Vicki basically says to the staff "fix that Internet thing before I go" like she expects her staff to run cables to Bali. I also noticed the elephant driver ( elephant handler? Elephant jockey?) was giving Vicki the universal hand sign for bring it down a notch. Oh Vicki don't ever change.

Tamra really is so crude. Next week she talks about getting gang banged by monkeys and this week with the elephant penis. Grow up lady.

  • Love 2
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I forgot about Lizzie lashing out at her husband, wow!

I'm not that worried about Shannon's marriage, as much as Lizzie's, now.

That was harsh, no matter what was going on. That was really some nasty stuff.

Edited by imjagain
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Shannon's tits looked a mess in that dress she was wearing at the end of this ep.

 

 

Yes!  I could not stop staring at them.  Like, I was almost fascinated.  WHY did they look so bad??  The dress was super-cute, but the boobs just ruined the look. 

  • Love 3
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So Vickster thinks that the way you run a business is to constantly email your staff to check on when they came in, when they went and came back from lunch and make sure they don't go home 2 minutes early? Great way to manage people, NOT! 

 

I still cannot get over how incredibly rude they were to the staff at the hotel, the drivers, and the poor guys who took them on that elephant ride. That resort looked amazing, but they were all ewwwing over the food. And you are in a fabulous country and all you can talk about is who dissed who on a party bus and at a dinner and gossip and rehash all the crap from a month ago? 

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I finally know the trick to getting Heather to stop with all of her actressy, over-the-top gesticulating. Put her on a plane to Bali for 23 hours.

 

It was a relief to see her in her natural state, almost slumped at the table, arms relaxed at her sides, no bulging eyes or wild arm movements. She looked nearly human for a moment there, and less like Madame.

  • Love 5
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I liked the opening with Heather as stewardess or whatever.  They all came off more like real people.

 

 

I enjoyed that part as well, the show seems so scripted now that it was refreshing to see something that seems real.

 

I just had to laugh at Tamra calling Lizzie self-absorbed. Then again, they all are.

 

What was the deal with Vicki’s employee that thought there was no internet in Bali and that Vicki would probably be staying in a hut? Was she teasing Vicki with things she knew Vicki would fall for? Or was she really that ignorant?

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