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S02.E13: Nip N Slide

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The cat fight continues as the guests gut each other over lunch. Later that night, Daisy pulls together a mermaid-themed dinner while Jean-Luc dons glittery leggings and serves himself up as dessert. Alli makes a difficult decision that leaves Gary reeling. Sydney is tasked with writing a song about women’s empowerment, and Colin offers to orchestrate. Things get awkward when the primary overhears Alli complaining about her mom and informs Glenn of the indiscretion. At a perilous beach picnic, the rosé runs dry, and as the Parsifal crew begins to crack, Glenn’s frustration boils over.

Airdate: 05.24.2021

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Let’s hope that JL is allergic to the fabric softener or detergent they use on the boat?  Just the thought of him itching and then touching things is grossing me out.

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I’ve lost every bit of respect I had for Dani. I guess she’s into big dork losers. 🤷🏻‍♂️

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Time to turn on the DVR for Below Dick Sores Yacht!

 

Or whatever I forgot it's actually called.

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QUOTE seemed not working.  Anyhow, while I get this, these guests are dying to be talked about.

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Below Deck Amateur Hour

At least they’re consistent, they suck every week.

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Quite the cat fight!  "They hate me because I'm the prettiest".  Get over yourself.

The STD banter throughout was hilarious!  Suck it up Dani and go see a doctor ASAP.  At least JL finally called one.  Legitimate reason to send a dick pic 😎.

The snorkeling excursion did not look like fun.

Good strategy by Glenn and Natasha. A nifty escape, but it's not like she couldn't just cook him a steak and these dumb guests bought it.  A mermaid party?  Please.

That dessert "experience" may be the dumbest thing I've ever seen on this show.

Gary finally gets busted.  Alli really should drop him and tell Sydnye "He's all yours!"

Is armpit sniffing some new chick thing?  These guests are horrible.  Is this what the "Housewives" shows are like?  I've never watched one.  Ugh!

Chafing?  Dude needs better underwear and some powder.

These beach picnics rarely go well.

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10 hours ago, PaperTree said:

Is armpit sniffing some new chick thing?  These guests are horrible.  Is this what the "Housewives" shows are like?  I've never watched one.  Ugh!

No, and these guests aren't Housewives, the blond chick (Erika) was on the Bachelor/Bachelor in Paradise. 

Glen seemed to finally be aware and get annoyed by the team's lackadaisical approach to everything, Natasha's stupid dessert thing is the laziest chef presentation I've every seen. Her plating in general leaves a lot to be desired. I still can't get over the frozen vegetables hiding under the unseared steak from last week.

Edited by snarts · Reason: clarity
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I think Glen was annoyed in general with having to police the crew....he had to tell Gary to take the covers off the furniture and make sure that the hot tub was hot, and it must have been embarrassing as hell to have a guest tell him that the crew was badmouthing her *mother*. 

Those rooms though...they were pigsties.  And Erica’s voice DRIVES ME CRAZY.  I can’t wait for them to depart.

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10 hours ago, PaperTree said:

That dessert "experience" may be the dumbest thing I've ever seen on this show.

Beyond stupid. I was embarrassed for Natasha, again.

Her lick the dessert off of butcher paper reminded me of those candy dots on a paper strip that I used to love, I always wound up eating more paper than a person should, lol.

JL and his chafed member, it's a relief that it was not a STD, again.

If I were to charter a yacht or sailing yacht the last thing I would want to have is the crew dress up and clown around, I would get no enjoyment out of it, it always seems so ingratiating and forced.  Also, having to pack a costume that would be worn once would annoy me, I like to pack light.

Beach picnic is synonymous with failure and having to walk over the large rocks to get to my chair does not look like fun.  Why can't these head stews make a check list so they effing stop forgetting things or fail to bring enough of what ever?  

The guests were the worst, that one with the vocal fry and unfounded confidence, omg how did none of her group throat punch her? 

Glenn finally woke up to his crew's failures, finally!

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15 minutes ago, Baltimore Betty said:

how did none of her group throat punch her? 

Maybe one of them already did. It sure sounds like someone punched her in the larynx. Between the Valley Girl-speak and the vocal fry it felt like an ice pick in my eardrums.

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I actually laughed a bit throughout the episode.  Colin is the best & he loves eavesdropping on the drama. His quip about there being no more yachties if every one with an STD left was pretty good (& I'm assuming fairly accurate). Alli- I'm glad she is backing off Gary and outed him for neglecting to say he slept with Sydney. Sydney continues to be creepy and spy on them at each chance she gets 👀 Gary is a nasty troll who throws tantrums when he doesn't get sex or affection from the object of his desire. NASTY, ugly piece of work.  

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11 hours ago, PaperTree said:

 

That dessert "experience" may be the dumbest thing I've ever seen on this show.

 

 

1 hour ago, Baltimore Betty said:

Beyond stupid. I was embarrassed for Natasha, again.

Her lick the dessert off of butcher paper reminded me of those candy dots on a paper strip that I used to love, I always wound up eating more paper than a person should, lol.

 

Natasha needs to up her game.  Personally, I have not been impressed with anything that we've seen her do.  She is only marginally better than Mila from BD Med, in my opinion.  Plating is horrendous and most foods look unappetizing.  I'm thinking the camera crew and production felt the same, because we're not seeing a whole lot of shots of her food compared to other seasons on all the BD shows.

That dessert "display" is sloppy, lazy and just gross.  I would never, ever, start scooping sauces and syrups off of a table covered with butcher paper, especially on what is supposed to be a five-star, high end experience.  I don't get why she thinks that is so amazing.  

Also, wasn't this filmed during Covid?  That display seems it would be unsanitary at any time, but given the timeframe, it just seems extra unsanitary.  

I just don't get it.  

On another topic - these women are some of the worst guests I've ever seen on any iteration of BD.  Sloppy, messy, entitled and the competing vocal fry hurts my ears.  

Edited by njbchlover
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1 hour ago, snarts said:

No, and these guests aren't Housewives, the blond chick (Erika) was on the Bachelor/Bachelor in Paradise. 

Glen seemed to finally be aware and get annoyed by the team's lackadaisical approach to everything, Natasha's stupid dessert thing is the laziest chef presentation I've every seen. Her plating in general leaves a lot to be desired. I still can't get over the frozen vegetables hiding under the unseared steak from last week.

That Erica gal, she talk like that all the time? That growly cartoon voice? So annoying.

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I wonder how the guest feels about licking dessert off JL now, knowing at the time he may or may not have had an STD?  

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13 minutes ago, njbchlover said:

On another topic - these women are some of the worst guests I've ever seen on any iteration of BD.  Sloppy, messy, entitled and the competing vocal fry hurts my ears.  

They're auditioning for their own reality show.

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So, Gary just wants to get laid. And is pissed that Ally won't play ball. Seems, from previews, he goes back to Sydney (or thinks about it). Run, Ally. He doesn't want anything real with you.

The guest who licked the dessert off JL will likely be sceaved out when she sees the show and the STD talk. Gross! I am not sure how reliable an over the phone Dr visit is for diagnosing an STD....needs testing to be sure. 

Talking about the guests and being heard...this is the 2nd time. That's a big no no. That tip is going to be crap. Probably would have been anyway based on how shitty these guests are.

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55 minutes ago, njbchlover said:

Personally, I have not been impressed with anything that we've seen her do.  She is only marginally better than Mila from BD Med, in my opinion.  Plating is horrendous and most foods look unappetizing. 

In fairness, she has gotten multiple charters to speak very positively about her food, and the biggest COMPLAINERS were total assholes to everyone.  So.  I'm not saying she's Micheline caliber, but I don't think that she's been some kind of embarrassing drain on the crew's tips.

Edited by Lassus
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I find Gary gross; but I've never been fully hype about Alli either and honestly her stance on this whole Sydney thing I find not particularly above stupid. 

I mean, ignoring for a moment the idea that Sydney is completely wack and clingy, if she TRULY really was emotional or in love with Gary (or anyone) and hadn't actually fucked him, THEN Allie would feel OK about screwing around with him in front of Sydney?  What if Gary had hypnotized Sydney with four days of glorious fingering skills and conversations about art and politics but hadn't had intercourse with her?  Then Allie would be ready to go? 

I just don't think her stance makes a lot of sense in the modern world, but perhaps that's subjective.

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12 hours ago, PaperTree said:

 

That dessert "experience" may be the dumbest thing I've ever seen on this show.

Lurch and his chafed dick diving through it don’t help. 🤷🏻‍♂️

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2 hours ago, snarts said:

Glen seemed to finally be aware and get annoyed by the team's lackadaisical approach to everything, Natasha's stupid dessert thing is the laziest chef presentation I've every seen. Her plating in general leaves a lot to be desired. I still can't get over the frozen vegetables hiding under the unseared steak from last week.

Not that they weren't making mistakes but Glen's getting on them about it felt like he was trying to compensate a bit for his own big blunder of hitting the dock. Regardless of if the "reverse thrusters" failed or it was his actual piloting error, it was extremely mortifying for him. So his suddenly pointing everyone else's mistakes out? Feels like the kind of defensive behavior you exhibit when you're feeling bad about yourself.

Again - not to say that Natasha's 'lick the table' dessert isn't the worst thing ever, it is. I think she's just not very good at desserts. Seems like many meals there has been no dessert, a few have had some kind of mousse, and maybe a cake once? My other thing with Natasha was her going on about how much food she was going to provide for them because they wanted more food after the first dinner she did for them. She said it as though they were massively over-demanding for more and more food. Yes they have been grossly demanding in all manner of ways, but they do not bear the blame for the unhappiness with the first meal. That is all on Natasha.

The reality was she told them dinner would be five courses and then gave them only three. That was what prompted the questions/expectations for more food and the complaints.

It is a mistake, of course, to be talking about the guests in spaces where they can be overheard, but Erica was clearly looking for something to be offended by and to be able to throw her weight around to show how important she is. Saying that her mother was likely to talk a lot during the massage? That required tattling to Glen? Especially since she'd already told Alli that she'd overheard the comment. 

 

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22 minutes ago, Lassus said:

In fairness, she has gotten multiple charters to speak very positively about her food, and the biggest COMPLAINERS were total assholes to everyone.  So.  I'm not saying she's Micheline caliber, but I don't agree that she's been some kind of embarrassing drain on the crew's tips.

You are correct, and I actually thought about that after I posted.  When we've seen what some of the other chefs can accomplish and send out to the guests, I just don't feel like her skills are on the same level.  Even Adam, who pissed me off to no end with his attitude and ego, presented much better dishes and his plating was nice.  

But, I guess it does boil down to the fact that for most of the charters, the guests seem satisfied and did not short their tip based on the quality of the food.  

I am an extremely plain eater, but even with that, if I were on a private sailing charter (or any charter, for that matter), I would want to be wowed by flavor and presentation from breakfast to midnight snacks.

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2 hours ago, Kdawg82 said:

I actually laughed a bit throughout the episode.  Colin is the best & he loves eavesdropping on the drama. His quip about there being no more yachties if every one with an STD left was pretty good (& I'm assuming fairly accurate). Alli- I'm glad she is backing off Gary and outed him for neglecting to say he slept with Sydney. Sydney continues to be creepy and spy on them at each chance she gets 👀 Gary is a nasty troll who throws tantrums when he doesn't get sex or affection from the object of his desire. NASTY, ugly piece of work.  

My biggest laugh came when Colin made that quip and the scene made a very quick cut to Gary working and then back to Colin's interview!

Also laughed when the guests said that if Gary had a jewel in his navel he'd look like a troll doll (note:  I am before-troll-dolls-had-jeweled-navels years old, but I knew what they meant, and they were right!).  

I did think Daisy did the best save she could, saying that Alli actually didn't mean it badly and that she loved Cindi, etc. etc.  

ETA:  Was COVID a possible reason for them not hiring massage therapists from on land?  I guess now that I think about it that makes sense.  Otherwise, eww to making crew do it.  What if Gary was the one who had had massage school training!  Eeek!

Edited by Jobiska
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12 hours ago, Lassus said:

I find Gary gross; but I've never been fully hype about Alli either and honestly her stance on this whole Sydney thing I find not particularly above stupid. 

I mean, ignoring for a moment the idea that Sydney is completely wack and clingy, if she TRULY really was emotional or in love with Gary (or anyone) and hadn't actually fucked him, THEN Allie would feel OK about screwing around with him in front of Sydney?  What if Gary had hypnotized Sydney with four days of glorious fingering skills and conversations about art and politics but hadn't had intercourse with her?  Then Allie would be ready to go? 

I just don't think her stance makes a lot of sense in the modern world, but perhaps that's subjective.

Nah, you’re just not still emotionally in high school like this bunch.

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13 hours ago, Mr. Miner said:

Lurch and his chafed dick diving through it don’t help. 🤷🏻‍♂️

Maybe that's the cure for sailing dick chafe disease?

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14 hours ago, njbchlover said:

 

Natasha needs to up her game.  Personally, I have not been impressed with anything that we've seen her do.  She is only marginally better than Mila from BD Med, in my opinion.  Plating is horrendous and most foods look unappetizing.  I'm thinking the camera crew and production felt the same, because we're not seeing a whole lot of shots of her food compared to other seasons on all the BD shows.

That dessert "display" is sloppy, lazy and just gross.  I would never, ever, start scooping sauces and syrups off of a table covered with butcher paper, especially on what is supposed to be a five-star, high end experience.  I don't get why she thinks that is so amazing.  

Also, wasn't this filmed during Covid?  That display seems it would be unsanitary at any time, but given the timeframe, it just seems extra unsanitary.  

I just don't get it.  

On another topic - these women are some of the worst guests I've ever seen on any iteration of BD.  Sloppy, messy, entitled and the competing vocal fry hurts my ears.  

Captain Glenn looked horrified 😱

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I don't think Natasha can up her game-- I think what we've seen is her best, sadly.  She is not entertaining to watch at all and never learns from her mistakes.  She just puts a wall up of ''No, I'm right!" and wont listen.  Frustrating! Also, that proud face she puts on as she's creating one of her dessert masterpieces on the table is just head shakeable.  

J.L. is gross to me.  It's not his height (I have a son who's 6'5" who the girls seem to like very well) It's his personality and he looks like a monkey or something.  (am I being awful?!)  I'll never understand how Dani, who I originally liked, can stand him.  Then when she was kissing and loving on him after hearing they 'think' it's just chafing made me sick.  How could the captain allow JL to slide across that table and let the woman lick on JL not knowing for sure he didnt have an STD?!  Bleeeeech! The whole show is making me ill.  

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I hope they bring Daisy and Colin back again. I wouldn't mind if everyone else was dropped into Mt Vesuvius. Including Glenn. 

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We have yet another episode with these horrible women? How long is this charter? It feels like months, maybe because they are the worst.

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TexasGal

Real time events such as current news about crew members are spoilers in the episode thread.  These can be discussed in the media thread.

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