S03.E15: Not Alone

[hoodooznoodooz]

17 hours ago, cardigirl said:

I agree with this. I think the point being made was that the doctor wasn't listening, or didn't appear to be listening to Regina, who was scared. She felt off and felt like something was wrong, and even though he saw nothing to indicate further testing, he was not doing anything to reassure her or explain why he felt the test was not necessary. No plan of action was discussed.

Patients do need to be their own advocates, but doctors assess situations based on a myriad of details and information that they have spent years accumulating. I'm not saying there aren't bad doctors out there, but I get tired of the trope that the patient knows more than the doctor. It's rarely true. And doctors also don't want to be accused of loading up a patient with unnecessary tests.  

I liked that it was her mother who had to protect her, because Regina was vulnerable at that moment, but most doctors I have, have taken the time to explain why they are doing (or not doing) what they are for my care. 

100%!!!
 

That said, the doctor in this scene seemed much more present and invested than doctors who treat me. The doctors I’ve dealt with tend to shield themselves from all the sadness and horror, and rush, distance, detach and compartmentalize, often using a phony hyper-cheerful approach.

A fertility specialist entered and immediately backed out of the treatment room, without making eye contact with me, because he had just seen on my chart that I had had another miscarriage, under his treatment.

My own sister who loves me to the moon and back detaches about my chronic 8 out of 10 back pain. And she’s an orthopedic surgeon!

Edited May 28, 2021 by hoodooznoodooz

[circumvent]

19 hours ago, NoThyme said:

He doesn't mention his daughter or seemed concerned about joint custody with her. Sometimes enough is enough.

I don't think this is flaw in the character as much as that the character got trapped in the terrible flaws of the writers. 

 

19 hours ago, gonzosgirrl said:

ETA: I did like that she later qualified her concerns as not being about his disability, but about his addiction. And also that Eddie took full responsibility for being a terrible husband, but a good father. Their fight was ugly, but true to life - in moments like that, we do tend to go for the throat. Even if we don't necessarily mean it, we know what's going to sting the most. Given that they've written Katherine so saintly (and the writing on this show), I'm sure seeing Eddie be great with Theo a couple times is going to soften her stance sooner rather than later.

I liked that too. What it is irritating to me is the usual inconsistency in the writing. They were supposed to go through an amicable divorce. Now it is already the blame game, "I did this because you did that". Just another tired TV recipe.

Medical question: is it possible for a concussion to cause the symptoms Regina is experiencing (assuming they are very serious and chronic) and a scan that doesn't show anything? I ask because I once hit my head and the scan was clear, but I had vertigo for a long time after that - I am talking months. Regina has more serious symptoms and that's why I am curious if something very serious as a result of a concussion could still show a clear scan 

 

16 hours ago, ams1001 said:

I like that Gary will have him move in with him while Maggie stays with the kids at Delilah's.

Gary better get ready to carry Eddie up and down the stairs. What is the point of the whole "find an accessible house" and then taking him to his house, which has stairs? I know, I know, writers! Or Eddie will be actually "confined". UGH!

[historylover820]

I think that's my biggest problem with this divorce storyline and Katherine's role--it's not her, it's the writers. 

It's always the writers.

Why can't there be an amicable divorce on dramas? Those do happen in the real world. Are they going to counseling to come up with a plan to dissolve their marriage like they said they would do, or was it just the one zoom call where Katherine acted like she was already a single parent? Because that's not exactly what I'd call counseling.

I get that Eddie's relapse was the last straw. But, her throwing his affair back in his face is ridiculous. And it's ridiculous because she already "forgave" him for it. She came back, was willing to work for their marriage, bonded with Charlie to the point where she threatened Delilah with a lawsuit for taking Charlie away. She wanted to renew their vows, which they did after Eddie was out of the hospital. But now she throws the fact that he had an affair in his face? 

Maybe with the relapse she realizes that she never really forgave him for this. But there should have been more signs of the strain in their marriage until Alan came into the picture--and she was already starting to have a more than just mere acquaintances and colleagues thing going on with Alan prior to Eddie revealing that he was abusing his pain killers.

Now Eddie definitely had on rose-colored glasses if he thought Katherine was going to give him joint custody. Newly sober and still learning how to navigate the world in a wheelchair. He's got to deal with getting himself better so he can be a better dad. But the way Katherine is going about this is vindictive. He is entitled to consult a lawyer without her freaking out about it. And he's already paid the consequences over and over again for his affair with Delilah (while Delilah still has gotten off remarkably scot-free.) He's the writers' favorite scapegoat.

Moving out of there is the best thing. And it should have dawned on me when Gary was dumping the alcohol that Eddie was moving into there. Because I thought they were going to find a place wheelchair accessible together and be roommates there. Because, yeah, Gary's apartment complex has stairs.

.

[BoogieBurns]

I think they use the stairs at Gary's because it's on the second floor. Likely has an elevator they don't use, but will now that Eddie will be there.

[hoodooznoodooz]

17 hours ago, marceline said:

My dislike of Theo gets more visceral with each passing episode. When he started setting up that ladder at the top of the stairs I thought, "Hey, maybe we'll manage to get rid of him after all." 

I suspect that they want us to believe that Theo also carried the ladder up from the garage or basement.

Edited May 28, 2021 by hoodooznoodooz

[ams1001]

4 minutes ago, hoodooznoodooz said:

I suspect that they want us to believe that Theo also carried to ladder up from the garage or basement.

No, he pulled it out of a closet at the top of the stairs.

Which seems like an odd place to store a bulky ladder like that. But whatever.

[gonzosgirrl]

3 hours ago, historylover820 said:

I get that Eddie's relapse was the last straw. But, her throwing his affair back in his face is ridiculous. And it's ridiculous because she already "forgave" him for it. She came back, was willing to work for their marriage, bonded with Charlie to the point where she threatened Delilah with a lawsuit for taking Charlie away. She wanted to renew their vows, which they did after Eddie was out of the hospital. But now she throws the fact that he had an affair in his face? 

^^ What I've been saying all along. Not to mention that her first instinct when she finds out about Eddie's relapse is to get drunk herself and kiss another man. Sure, there are justifications, and she did eventually decide against an emotional affair before telling Eddie she wanted a divorce, but she still did it. I don't like martyrs and I like hypocrites even less.

[historylover820]

15 minutes ago, gonzosgirrl said:

 I don't like martyrs and I like hypocrites even less.

Agree.

 

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Grey's Anatomy did an episode a few years ago about how women are often dismissed by doctors and sent home without being tested or treated for pain/other symptoms. Coincidentally, this week's episode of Hacks briefly touched on the same issue. If you truly believe something is wrong and the doctor doesn't want to run any tests, you have to advocate for yourself. I'm glad that more people now know to tell the doctor that they want it noted in their file that they requested a specific test and the doctor refused. Even though Regina's CT showed nothing and she was frustrated by that, at least that ruled out some major problems.

I was really glad that Shelley kept encouraging Gina to tell Rome what was going on. I get that Gina doesn't want to stress him out unnecessarily but he is your husband. He will want to know so he can help you through this.

The thing that really annoyed me about Eddie this week was that he was willing to do all the stuff that Gary suggested (find a one story place to rent, get a car equipped so that he could drive) but as soon as Katherine told him that she didn't trust him with Theo because of his addiction, he told Gary to forget about doing any of that stuff. I know he was wallowing but regardless of what Katherine wants in terms of Theo's custody situation, Eddie should still be doing all of those things anyway.

His worst case scenario is that Katherine gets full custody. What if Theo has a school recital or a science fair or whatever - how is he going to get there? Does he expect Katherine to come pick him up and chauffeur him around everywhere? How will he get groceries or go on a producer mandated trip to Target? He should be looking into getting the hand controls for his car no matter what Katherine says she wants regarding custody of Theo. They're getting a divorce so I assume that means Eddie will be moving out of the house (and the only reason I expect that is because, as his divorce attorney pointed out, living in a two story house when he's in a wheelchair isn't very practical) so he should be looking for a one story place to live. But apparently once Katherine revealed the real reason she didn't trust Eddie with Theo, just was ready to just give up and never leave the house again. BUCK UP FFS.

While I agree that Maggie and Gary have been doing a way better job parenting Sophie and Danny, part of me feels bad that Maggie has turned into a free therapist for everyone. I love that the adults are playing musical chairs with who lives where, but as long as that means Delilah still isn't coming back I'm all for it!

[gonzosgirrl]

6 minutes ago, ElectricBoogaloo said:

Grey's Anatomy did an episode a few years ago about how women are often dismissed by doctors and sent home without being tested or treated for pain/other symptoms. Coincidentally, this week's episode of Hacks briefly touched on the same issue.

As did 9-1-1 with Hen's mother. And I feel like New Amsterdam also had a similar story, but with a black man? (I could be mis-remembering that, but some show I watch did, and since NA never met a social issue it wouldn't feature at least once... lol.) It's bad for all women - I've certainly experienced it - but even worse for people of colour, regardless of gender.

[ams1001]

20 minutes ago, ElectricBoogaloo said:

or go on a producer mandated trip to Target?

🤣🤣🤣 Thanks, I needed that. 🤣🤣🤣

And yeah, doing all those things will make a judge more likely to look favorably on him when he argues for why he should have partial custody, or at least visitation without a chaperone. It's not like Katherine just gets to say "no, I refuse to give you custody" and that's all there is to it. She needs to make an argument to the court as to why he shouldn't get it. Eddie just giving up on living independently is definitely going to tilt the court's opinion in her favor.

[Sandman]

On 5/27/2021 at 12:21 PM, historylover820 said:

His first instinct was "I'm not going to have any alcohol or any temptations for Eddie!"

But even Colin's face was like "Pretty expensive way to clean the drain, dude."

On 5/28/2021 at 12:40 PM, ElectricBoogaloo said:

I was really glad that Shelley kept encouraging Gina to tell Rome what was going on. I get that Gina doesn't want to stress him out unnecessarily but he is your husband. He will want to know so he can help you through this.

This was the most I've ever liked Shelley.

Edited May 31, 2021 by Sandman

[hoodooznoodooz]

2 hours ago, ElectricBoogaloo said:

How will he get groceries or go on a producer mandated trip to Target? 

Hahaha! Funny.

[CrystalBlue]

Eddie told Gary to forget it as a momentary hiccup in their plans, it isn't written in stone that Eddie is going to refuse to help himself be available for fathering Theo, of course he is.  With Greatest Friend Ever Gary, Eddie will have the moral support and technical help he needs to follow through.  Katherine is going to have to stop holding Eddie's relapse over his head eventually.  Eddie did say he's been attending all his meetings. What more can he do other than take it one day at a time as he's supposed to?

I understand why Katherine found a last straw in her mess of a marriage, but I still think she's gearing up for a relationship with Alan, who will be a more satisfying partner to her, and that's why she's willing to divorce now.

[chitowngirl]

10 hours ago, historylover820 said:

I get that Eddie's relapse was the last straw. But, her throwing his affair back in his face is ridiculous.

IIRC-she threw that in his face because he accused her of “abandoning” Theo and ran away to her mother’s. To which she reminded him that was because of his affair and having a baby because of it. 

Has it EVER been brought up that Eddie and Delilah were going to leave their families and go off together?

[bybrandy]

it is  a proven fact that women are often not believed when they come in with medical concerns.  Women of color even less so.   My mom was  a single mom.  She's Scandinavian.  She's stoic.  If she tells you she has a problem.  She has a problem. Full stop.  No questions asked.  My mom broke her hip, walked into the ER and told them her pain was a 4.  My mom had oral cancer and had a 13 hour surgery where they a quarter of her mouth with other bits of her and she never used pain medications after surgery because she was in so much less pain than before her surgery which she rated as a 6.   So, when my mom says I have to got to the ER and they are about to send her home I am all Regina's momming the situation.  For some reason people always believe me, though, I give off strong medical professional vibes.   

[izabella]

3 hours ago, chitowngirl said:

IIRC-she threw that in his face because he accused her of “abandoning” Theo and ran away to her mother’s. To which she reminded him that was because of his affair and having a baby because of it. 

Has it EVER been brought up that Eddie and Delilah were going to leave their families and go off together?

No, no it has not.  It's like it never happened even though Eddie was already out the door.

[Katie111]

I don’t think anything Katherine does could ever be as bad as all of the awful things Eddie has done.  I think she  has every right to not want Eddie near Theo right now.  He is not a good role model for Theo.  He is not safe to  be around.  I have a close family member who is a drug addict and I am so thankful that he does not have children as I would not want his kids subjected to that lifestyle.  
 

Theo is the most annoying kid on TV and Katherine and Eddie are not good parents.  They indulge his every whim and act like he is 7 not 11.  Although I do know some people with only children and some of how Theo acts I think is actually a realistic portrayal of an only child.  Many parents seem to think their only child walks on water and they totally either  baby them or act like they are mini adults. 
 

Where is Delilah?  I may have missed an episode but I thought she was on standby waiting to come back from Paris.  Then Sophie suddenly went to visit her so why isn’t she home yet?  And why is she off the show?  Is it just because she is so annoying or is she pregnant or something in real life?  Who just leaves their teenagers for a couple months to travel around Europe with their baby sister and mother?   Especially after their kids  lost their dad 2 years prior and found out their mother had a baby with someone other than their dad?  And why would they ever accept Eddie after that?  I would think they would blame him for their dad’s death.  
 

Sophie is played by a good actress and I think this storyline is good.  However, I find it strange that she has NO friends.  She either has a boyfriend or she spends all of her time with adults.  Same with the brother really.  If he has any friends they seem to become a love interest for him.  

My final comment is just that has anyone who works on this show ever been to Boston?  If they had, they would know u can’t travel around Boston the way these people do.  Traffic is awful.  You don’t just pop Into someone’s house in Brookline when you live in the South End.  That would be an hour plus trip and you would probably take the T rather than attempt to drive.  

[Arcadiasw]

11 hours ago, Katie111 said:

 

Where is Delilah?  I may have missed an episode but I thought she was on standby waiting to come back from Paris.  Then Sophie suddenly went to visit her so why isn’t she home yet?  And why is she off the show?  Is it just because she is so annoying or is she pregnant or something in real life?  Who just leaves their teenagers for a couple months to travel around Europe with their baby sister and mother?   Especially after their kids  lost their dad 2 years prior and found out their mother had a baby with someone other than their dad?  And why would they ever accept Eddie after that?  I would think they would blame him for their dad’s death.  
 

 

The show is filmed in Vancouver and the actress lives in New York. Because of Covid she hasn't been able to go there to film. I think the show made an error having Sophie see her Mom and return when the storyline could've been Delilah is stranded in France and can't get home because of Covid restrictions and just write her talking to her kids through Zoom instead of not showing enough of her talking to them. 

[izabella]

I think Delilah is still in France becasue her dad broke his hip and can't travel. 

[chitowngirl]

You’d think they could have her Zoom in occasionally....

[Suzn]

I don't care if it is logical that we don't see Delilah, I'm just glad we don't.  They can just keep using lame excuses to keep her of our screens.

About no mention of Delilah and Eddie planning to abandon their children - it has always bothered me that it was ignored.  That seemed far worse than being unfaithful to their spouses.  Add that to the fact that Delilah faced very few repercussions about the affair, compared to Eddie., makes no sense to me, except she must be a writer/producer favorite. 

Edited May 29, 2021 by Suzn

[SoCal Mema]

3 hours ago, Arcadiasw said:

The show is filmed in Vancouver and the actress lives in New York. Because of Covid she hasn't been able to go there to film. I think the show made an error having Sophie see her Mom and return when the storyline could've been Delilah is stranded in France and can't get home because of Covid restrictions and just write her talking to her kids through Zoom instead of not showing enough of her talking to them. 

I had also read somewhere (sorry, can’t source it right now) that the actress was also sitting out due to pay/contract issues.  I would say this hasn’t necessarily bode well for her character, as she’s not really missed and the show has gone on without her.

15 hours ago, Katie111 said:

I don’t think anything Katherine does could ever be as bad as all of the awful things Eddie has done.  I think she  has every right to not want Eddie near Theo right now.  He is not a good role model for Theo.  He is not safe to  be around.  I have a close family member who is a drug addict and I am so thankful that he does not have children as I would not want his kids subjected to that lifestyle.  
 

Theo is the most annoying kid on TV and Katherine and Eddie are not good parents.  They indulge his every whim and act like he is 7 not 11.  Although I do know some people with only children and some of how Theo acts I think is actually a realistic portrayal of an only child.  Many parents seem to think their only child walks on water and they totally either  baby them or act like they are mini adults. 
 

Where is Delilah?  I may have missed an episode but I thought she was on standby waiting to come back from Paris.  Then Sophie suddenly went to visit her so why isn’t she home yet?  And why is she off the show?  Is it just because she is so annoying or is she pregnant or something in real life?  Who just leaves their teenagers for a couple months to travel around Europe with their baby sister and mother?   Especially after their kids  lost their dad 2 years prior and found out their mother had a baby with someone other than their dad?  And why would they ever accept Eddie after that?  I would think they would blame him for their dad’s death.  
 

Sophie is played by a good actress and I think this storyline is good.  However, I find it strange that she has NO friends.  She either has a boyfriend or she spends all of her time with adults.  Same with the brother really.  If he has any friends they seem to become a love interest for him.  

My final comment is just that has anyone who works on this show ever been to Boston?  If they had, they would know u can’t travel around Boston the way these people do.  Traffic is awful.  You don’t just pop Into someone’s house in Brookline when you live in the South End.  That would be an hour plus trip and you would probably take the T rather than attempt to drive.  

Agree about Theo and his annoyance.  However, that’s quite an unfair accusation about only children and parents of only children.

[historylover820]

Yeah, I'm an only child and I had strict parents and discipline. My parents would not allow me to ignore them. If I got in trouble at school, I'd be in worse trouble at home. Grounding was common for me--no TV. Occasionally I was spanked--just a swat on the butt if I wasn't listening.

My parents demanded obedience. They were not interested in being my friend. Eddie and Katherine do not demand obedience and apparently want to be Theo's friends and not his parents.

Edited May 29, 2021 by historylover820
Edited to add

[Suzn]

14 minutes ago, historylover820 said:

Yeah, I'm an only child and I had strict parents and discipline. My parents would not allow me to ignore them. If I got in trouble at school, I'd be in worse trouble at home. Grounding was common for me--no TV. Occasionally I was spanked--just a swat on the butt if I wasn't listening.

My parents demanded obedience. They were not interested in being my friend. Eddie and Katherine do not demand obedience and apparently want to be Theo's friends and not his parents.

As an only child, I had that "spoiled" label thrown at me for no reason other than being an only.  So much was expected of me including obedience and never misbehaving.

Theo is obnoxious and needs to be expected to mind and to act his age.

[mansonlamps]

On 5/27/2021 at 8:27 AM, ifionlyknew said:

In the real world and MRI is only going to requested and still need approved by her insurance company after other things like a CT Scan have been performed.

I simply do not understand why the writers write Theo as if he is a kindergartner.  It  has become so annoying I cringe whenever Theo is in a scene.  

Not true, I just had an MRI with no prior CAT scan.  They are 2 different technologies and diagnose different conditions. 

[historylover820]

2 hours ago, Suzn said:

As an only child, I had that "spoiled" label thrown at me for no reason other than being an only.  So much was expected of me including obedience and never misbehaving.

Theo is obnoxious and needs to be expected to mind and to act his age.

Completely agree with you on everything.

[Brian Cronin]

I am cool with shows who just skip COVID. I am also relatively cool with the shows who handle masks moronically but at least try (like The Conners and their whole "People take off the masks when they go INSIDE. You know, the exact OPPOSITE of what should happen), but for a show to lean SO HEAVILY into COVID and then not even be REMOTELY realistic with it a couple of episodes later? What in the fuck is up with THAT? Even the people in the hospital weren't using masks (and Regina's mother almost assuredly wouldn't be allowed in there), which is just BONKERS. How can a show be THIS sloppy after making such a big deal about it?

[Arcadiasw]

4 hours ago, Suzn said:

As an only child, I had that "spoiled" label thrown at me for no reason other than being an only.  So much was expected of me including obedience and never misbehaving.

Theo is obnoxious and needs to be expected to mind and to act his age.

So agree. I'm the youngest and only girl and got the "spoiled" label tossed at me a lot and I never was unless you count having my own room is being spoiled. 🙄  

8 minutes ago, Brian Cronin said:

the fuck is up with THAT? Even the people in the hospital weren't using masks (and Regina's mother almost assuredly wouldn't be allowed in there), which is just BONKERS. How can a show be THIS sloppy after making such a big deal about it?

Yeah. By June most people were wearing a mask and Sophie went to the parent's house not wearing one and they let her in. 

[CrystalBlue]

1 hour ago, Brian Cronin said:

I am cool with shows who just skip COVID. I am also relatively cool with the shows who handle masks moronically but at least try (like The Conners and their whole "People take off the masks when they go INSIDE. You know, the exact OPPOSITE of what should happen), but for a show to lean SO HEAVILY into COVID and then not even be REMOTELY realistic with it a couple of episodes later? What in the fuck is up with THAT? Even the people in the hospital weren't using masks (and Regina's mother almost assuredly wouldn't be allowed in there), which is just BONKERS. How can a show be THIS sloppy after making such a big deal about it?

You're right, hospital COVID protocols wouldn't have allowed an able-bodied full grown adult to be accompanied by her mother.  I had to be on my own when I got my two vaccines and there were plenty of people using walkers and wheelchairs who had to be on their own too.  And the second time was completely outdoors!

Another thing that bugged me is I wouldn't want to be running, working up a sweat, and then just pop in to someone's home I don't even know for a chit chat about sexual assault or abuse and suicide.  Mask or no mask, that was a WTF moment for me too.

[circumvent]

On 5/28/2021 at 12:40 PM, ElectricBoogaloo said:

The thing that really annoyed me about Eddie this week was that he was willing to do all the stuff that Gary suggested (find a one story place to rent, get a car equipped so that he could drive) but as soon as Katherine told him that she didn't trust him with Theo because of his addiction, he told Gary to forget about doing any of that stuff. I know he was wallowing but regardless of what Katherine wants in terms of Theo's custody situation, Eddie should still be doing all of those things anyway.

His worst case scenario is that Katherine gets full custody. What if Theo has a school recital or a science fair or whatever - how is he going to get there? Does he expect Katherine to come pick him up and chauffeur him around everywhere? How will he get groceries or go on a producer mandated trip to Target? He should be looking into getting the hand controls for his car no matter what Katherine says she wants regarding custody of Theo. They're getting a divorce so I assume that means Eddie will be moving out of the house (and the only reason I expect that is because, as his divorce attorney pointed out, living in a two story house when he's in a wheelchair isn't very practical) so he should be looking for a one story place to live.

I agree that he should be doing those things anyway but there are many people who are disabled and cannot drive, or don't want to , or cannot afford a car, who raise kids and do all the things needed to raise the kids. A place to live is the part that is most concerning, because he needs to get used to do the things by himself and he will not be able to do that if he cannot move around his own place.

15 hours ago, CrystalBlue said:

You're right, hospital COVID protocols wouldn't have allowed an able-bodied full grown adult to be accompanied by her mother.

They could have written the scene when Gina hints that she needs a cognitive interpreter. She would need someone to help her understand her options and authorize her mother to be there. But I agree, the way it was written was bad. The writers are writting about a time when Covid was at one of its peaks, but inserting the current situation as they please. 

[ElectricBoogaloo]

37 minutes ago, circumvent said:

I agree that he should be doing those things anyway but there are many people who are disabled and cannot drive, or don't want to , or cannot afford a car, who raise kids and do all the things needed to raise the kids.

My issue isn't that everyone should HAVE to do those things but that Eddie was all for doing that stuff until Katherine told him the real reason that she didn't want to leave him alone with Theo and then he was like oh, forget it. In this day and age with lyft so readily available, driving isn't something everyone has to do (especially people who live in large cities with public transportation) so it's not really driving that was my gripe about Eddie (although I do think he needs to give some thought to how he's going to get around once he isn't living with Katherine anymore). It was just his attitude and how he immediately gave up, as if none of those things mattered anymore. Like you said, he still needs a permanent place to live (not just Gary's apartment for the time being) and he will have to start being more independent so he shouldn't be so defeatist just because he found out that Katherine has concerns about his addiction.

[historylover820]

18 hours ago, CrystalBlue said:

You're right, hospital COVID protocols wouldn't have allowed an able-bodied full grown adult to be accompanied by her mother.  I had to be on my own when I got my two vaccines and there were plenty of people using walkers and wheelchairs who had to be on their own too.  And the second time was completely outdoors!

 

One of my ministers was diagnosed with cancer last year after having a colonoscopy. He said the first time he was aware there was a problem was when he woke up and saw that they called his wife in, because she didn't go with him to the hospital--she couldn't. So the fact that they called her and let her into his recovery room was a big clue that the doctors found something.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

On 5/29/2021 at 5:03 PM, CrystalBlue said:

You're right, hospital COVID protocols wouldn't have allowed an able-bodied full grown adult to be accompanied by her mother.  I had to be on my own when I got my two vaccines and there were plenty of people using walkers and wheelchairs who had to be on their own too.  And the second time was completely outdoors!

My husband developed some health issues just after COVID hit. I haven't been able to go to any of his appointments or tests with him (at the hospital or at the different doctors' offices). He just had a CT a week and a half ago and even with things loosening up, I still couldn't accompany him. I just sat in the parking lot and waited for him. At one hospital that he went to last month for some other testing, I would have been allowed to sit in the main waiting room in the hospital lobby (not in the waiting room of the department he was visiting).

I guess I could fanwank that since Gina had a neuro appointment, the concern was that she might not be able to deal with navigating the hospital and filling out paperwork on her own (I sometimes work with neuro patients and during normal non-COVID times, we always tell them that they can bring a spouse/friend because you never know the extent of someone's brain injury and how much it is affecting any of their comprehension or motor functions).

[ams1001]

1 hour ago, ElectricBoogaloo said:

My husband developed some health issues just after COVID hit. I haven't been able to go to any of his appointments or tests with him (at the hospital or at the different doctors' offices). He just had a CT a week and a half ago and even with things loosening up, I still couldn't accompany him. I just sat in the parking lot and waited for him. At one hospital that he went to last month for some other testing, I would have been allowed to sit in the main waiting room in the hospital lobby (not in the waiting room of the department he was visiting).

I guess I could fanwank that since Gina had a neuro appointment, the concern was that she might not be able to deal with navigating the hospital and filling out paperwork on her own (I sometimes work with neuro patients and during normal non-COVID times, we always tell them that they can bring a spouse/friend because you never know the extent of someone's brain injury and how much it is affecting any of their comprehension or motor functions).

My dad had a hip replacement in late February last year and wasn't cleared to drive until May, so my mom had to take him to physical therapy. She was not allowed to wait in the waiting room (even the first few weeks before things really shut down). She would sit in the car and read, or take walks around the perimeter of the building if the weather was nice enough, or do errands nearby to kill the time.

I can accept that maybe for a neuro appointment they would let her have someone come in with her, since she was having memory issues. And yay for her mom advocating for her when it counted, but maybe pay attention to the appointment and not be openly looking up her condition on WebMD while you're there? (And was she wearing a mask? I can't remember.)

[JayDub1987]

2 hours ago, ams1001 said:

My dad had a hip replacement in late February last year and wasn't cleared to drive until May, so my mom had to take him to physical therapy. She was not allowed to wait in the waiting room (even the first few weeks before things really shut down). She would sit in the car and read, or take walks around the perimeter of the building if the weather was nice enough, or do errands nearby to kill the time.

I can accept that maybe for a neuro appointment they would let her have someone come in with her, since she was having memory issues. And yay for her mom advocating for her when it counted, but maybe pay attention to the appointment and not be openly looking up her condition on WebMD while you're there? (And was she wearing a mask? I can't remember.)

I broke both my elbows in January of 2020 in a workplace accident. My wife was allowed to attend my first appointment with me since I couldn't drive, sign papers or open doors. However, when COVID restrictions ramped up after that, I was completely on my own. They were incredibly strict about that. She had to wait in the car 

[circumvent]

I just listened to a podcast and it is somewhat related to the episode, as Regina's mom intervened to demand proper care for her daughter. The third highest cause of death in the United States is medical malpractice. The podcast wasn't about that, this was a small news part of it, so no specifics on race, gender, age, disability. But it is scary to know that medical malpractice causes almost as many deaths as cancer.  Doctors are supposed to be trusted, we are supposed to believe that their knowledge is the best chance we have to get better. But no, we need to always be willing to seek a second opinion, which in our system is even more complicated. 

I would bet that the numbers are higher for black women, based on what is already reported. 

[AnnaCody]

On 5/27/2021 at 7:30 AM, Rootbeer said:

Well, in the end, it turned out the scan didn't help anyway.  Rather than requesting a specific test without really knowing what might be happening, it would probably be better to ask the doctor what else might be going on if it wasn't the concussion and then ask to either get further evaluation for those conditions or be referred to another doctor who is a specialist in that area. And, then come down hard on him if he dismisses that request.

 I understand that the show didn't have the time for that kind of discussion, but it seemed to me that both Regina and her mother placed too much faith in the CAT scan to diagnose the problem.  It turned out, the doctor was correct, the scan wasn't the answer, but that doesn't mean that more questions and testing aren't indicated.  I wonder if maybe an MRI might've been a better test in that circumstance, although I am not a specialist in neurotrauma.

The way she was hearing all the noises around her made me wonder if she has ADD.  And the hit on her head has triggered it.

On 5/26/2021 at 11:15 PM, ams1001 said:

But did he really have to dump all his liquor? He couldn't have brought it over to one of his friends' houses so he/they could still enjoy it once in a while? 

I thought the same thing. I moved cross country recently so I gave all my bottles to the neighbors. 

[AnnaCody]

On 5/27/2021 at 9:41 AM, Rootbeer said:

The problem is, a CT scan costs a couple  of thousand bucks, and, if there was a better test, why not direct the money there?  Also, it's important to realize that, just because a doctor orders a test does not mean the insurance company is going to agree to pay for it.  Rather than just doing random testing  to ease Regina's mind; a dialog in which the doctor explained to Regina why a CT scan wasn't the best option and gave her information about other ways to evaluate her that might be more helpful would have been a better way to go. 

I am a medical practitioner, I sometimes have patients come to me with a long list of testing they want to have done and they are totally shocked when their insurance declines to pay for random testing that isn't indicated.  The insurance company tells them something like 'if it is medically necessary, it is covered', but, when push comes to shove, a doctor's order is not proof of medical necessity and insurance companies decline payment all the time for testing.  I can guarantee you that, if they declined to pay, telling the insurance carrier that the test was ordered 'because the patient wanted it' isn't going to change that.

I worked in the medical field also. And insurance companies have guidelines that have to be followed when testing is being ordered. If the patient doesn’t present with certain symptoms, the tests the doctor orders are denied. Sometimes you have to tell a doctor that you’re having a certain symptom in order to get the test ordered. “

[lala2]

On 5/30/2021 at 12:29 PM, ElectricBoogaloo said:

My issue isn't that everyone should HAVE to do those things but that Eddie was all for doing that stuff until Katherine told him the real reason that she didn't want to leave him alone with Theo and then he was like oh, forget it. In this day and age with lyft so readily available, driving isn't something everyone has to do (especially people who live in large cities with public transportation) so it's not really driving that was my gripe about Eddie (although I do think he needs to give some thought to how he's going to get around once he isn't living with Katherine anymore). It was just his attitude and how he immediately gave up, as if none of those things mattered anymore. Like you said, he still needs a permanent place to live (not just Gary's apartment for the time being) and he will have to start being more independent so he shouldn't be so defeatist just because he found out that Katherine has concerns about his addiction.

Yeah, I hated Eddie’s defeatist attitude, but I wasn’t surprised by it. Of course he behaves as if Katherine has total control over when and how he sees his kid?! 🤦🏾‍♀️ Honestly, you’d be surprised how many real people act this way and seem shocked when I explain that it’s not totally up to the other parent unless you want it to be! 

I actually don’t hate Eddie. I didn’t like how he cheated on Katherine in the first season, but they did a good job in rebuilding that marriage and rehabilitating him. I sympathize with him because he didn’t ask to be run over and paralyzed. Nor did he set out to become addicted to pain pills. At this point, he accepts that his marriage is over so I just want to see him get his life together. I’d like to see him in a good, stable position for once rather than being the show screw up. It’s lame at this point. Let this man get his life together please! 

Living with Gary, for now, is fine, but he should find his own place. He also needs to get a job. I agree that he should fit his car for the controls. I tend to forget about Delilah and her baby, but he should be there for that kid too. Maybe next season, Gary could be having issues and we can see a stable Eddie being there for him. Switch it up a bit. 

[historylover820]

22 hours ago, AnnaCody said:

The way she was hearing all the noises around her made me wonder if she has ADD.  And the hit on her head has triggered it.

I thought the same thing. I moved cross country recently so I gave all my bottles to the neighbors. 

Now that you brought that up....

I think I'm ADD as well, but my blood clot in my brain when I was 29 triggered that.

I've never been able to remember names, but faces I was good with before. I also had a nearly photographic memory, could read 5 books (300-500 pages each) in a week when I was in high school, and know everything I read. I have a master's in history, so my memory and my attention span was good.

Since my blood clot, my attention span is that of an over-caffeinated goldfish. I hear every sound, get distracted so easily. My memory is not what it was. I no longer can read 5 300-500 page books in a week--I barely could read the Elton John autobiography in 6 months (not that it wasn't a good book--it really was--but I was distracted). My mind is still a good one--I was able to learn a completely new job a couple years ago. But I've been noticing those symptoms about me.

So, you make a great point about this could have also happened to Gina. In my case, it's something I've gotten used to--that my brain doesn't function quite what it did pre-blood clot. So I've had to figure out different tricks with my own brain to pay attention, to concentrate, to not be so distracted all the time.

But I didn't think about that possible connection until you brought that up. Because if I remember correctly (and it could be that I'm remembering wrong), I'm a heck of a lot more ADD now at the age of 42 than I ever was at the age of 16. And I blame the blood clot for that.

[Rootbeer]

On 5/28/2021 at 5:36 AM, circumvent said:

I don't think this is flaw in the character as much as that the character got trapped in the terrible flaws of the writers. 

 

I liked that too. What it is irritating to me is the usual inconsistency in the writing. They were supposed to go through an amicable divorce. Now it is already the blame game, "I did this because you did that". Just another tired TV recipe.

Medical question: is it possible for a concussion to cause the symptoms Regina is experiencing (assuming they are very serious and chronic) and a scan that doesn't show anything? I ask because I once hit my head and the scan was clear, but I had vertigo for a long time after that - I am talking months. Regina has more serious symptoms and that's why I am curious if something very serious as a result of a concussion could still show a clear scan 

 

Short answer: Yes, absolutely.  The scan shows anatomy, not function.  It shows a blood clot in the brain, bleeding or swelling or a tumor.  And it only shows those things if they are large enough to be seen.  The scan does not show how the brain is functioning, if all the neurons are linked and speeding information along as usual or if there is some impediment.

Very similar situation to testing for chronic pain.  Just because the CT of the spine doesn't show a slipped disc, doesn't mean the person isn't in pain; just that there is no visible structural cause for the pain.  

Regina is having issues with cognitive function.  With a concussion, those can last for a long, long time; even weeks or months, while the brain looks normal on the various scans.

Concussion is diagnosed by signs and symptoms, not by CT.  In kids, experts actually recommend avoiding CT and other scans in mild concussions.  The odds that something is structurally abnormal in a case like Regina's is very small.  That doesn't means she might not need further assessment and close follow-up; but the doctor was not wrong when he told her he didn't think a CT was warranted.  He should, of course, have explained why it wasn't likely to help and given her information about the sorts of testing and follow up that would be of benefit to her.

[cardigirl]

On 5/28/2021 at 7:03 PM, chitowngirl said:

IIRC-she threw that in his face because he accused her of “abandoning” Theo and ran away to her mother’s. To which she reminded him that was because of his affair and having a baby because of it. 

Has it EVER been brought up that Eddie and Delilah were going to leave their families and go off together?

I don't know if that part of the plan was ever exposed to the friends. Only Jon may have known about it, because he spotted them in the restaurant together (Season 1, I think it was), and Eddie may have admitted to Gary he was ready to leave and start over, but I don't think they ever told anyone else of their plans to run away together. Jon died before they could execute the plans, so no one knows they had gotten to that stage. All anyone else knows was that they were having an affair. 

[CrystalBlue]

6 hours ago, cardigirl said:

I don't know if that part of the plan was ever exposed to the friends. Only Jon may have known about it, because he spotted them in the restaurant together (Season 1, I think it was), and Eddie may have admitted to Gary he was ready to leave and start over, but I don't think they ever told anyone else of their plans to run away together. Jon died before they could execute the plans, so no one knows they had gotten to that stage. All anyone else knows was that they were having an affair. 

And a baby together!  This makes me wonder why Delilah wasn't using the most fail-proof birth control available.  And why Eddie didn't wrap it up to boot.

[Rootbeer]

On 6/3/2021 at 3:42 PM, CrystalBlue said:

And a baby together!  This makes me wonder why Delilah wasn't using the most fail-proof birth control available.  And why Eddie didn't wrap it up to boot.

Even if she wasn't having an affair, Delilah is a 40 something woman with teenaged kids.  Most women in that category are pretty careful to prevent pregnancy, even to the point of getting their tubes tied.  As I recall, we discovered that John had had a vasectomy, all the more reason for Delilah to be extra careful to avoid a pregnancy.

[smartymarty]

Quote

You're right, hospital COVID protocols wouldn't have allowed an able-bodied full grown adult to be accompanied by her mother.

Just a week earlier, Rome was not allowed into the hospital to see Regina. So how did her mother get in?

Agree that the Regina "I must have a scan" story was poorly done. Her symptoms absolutely are of a concussion. Way too early for her to think that something else is wrong that just happens to have the same symptoms and started right after she suffered a concussion. Seems her mother could have figured that our from WebMD to avoid them going to the hospital.

While I get why Gary poured out the liquor, on the other hand, it suggests he doesn't believe Eddie has the strength to not relapse and means he doesn't understand that it's not up to other people whether Eddie does or not. Gary can't prevent a relapse merely by not having alcohol in the apartment. Lots of recovered alcoholics can live with alcohol in the house.

[CrystalBlue]

3 hours ago, smartymarty said:

Just a week earlier, Rome was not allowed into the hospital to see Regina. So how did her mother get in?

Agree that the Regina "I must have a scan" story was poorly done. Her symptoms absolutely are of a concussion. Way too early for her to think that something else is wrong that just happens to have the same symptoms and started right after she suffered a concussion. Seems her mother could have figured that our from WebMD to avoid them going to the hospital.

While I get why Gary poured out the liquor, on the other hand, it suggests he doesn't believe Eddie has the strength to not relapse and means he doesn't understand that it's not up to other people whether Eddie does or not. Gary can't prevent a relapse merely by not having alcohol in the apartment. Lots of recovered alcoholics can live with alcohol in the house.

Regina and Mom's concussion story was all kinds of wrong.  First, Regina ignored what would have been doctor's orders with a printout instruction sheet from the hospital to rest, what to do and what not to do, if your symptoms persist for however long seek medical help, etc.  While being all Tiger Mom was admirable, consulting WebMD right in front of the actual doctor was insulting!  The medical profession has protocols and standards on how to treat every injury, illness, disease, etc.  Insurance doesn't get approved before or until those protocols are met; doctors and physicians are bound by that and their hospital privileges could be revoked if they don't follow the standards.

Gary meant well, but you're right about this!  All that lovely booze, down the drain!