S03.E09: You Dropped a Bomb on Me

[PrincessPurrsALot]

Quote

Dannielle questions Garrick as her insecurities with Roberta intensify. The Winders hope sparks will fly during potential sister wife Kimberley's visit. The Clarks get an unexpected bomb drop on their date with Emily. Sidian goes on a solo date.

Please let Dannnnnnielle tell GarrICK that he is a lying weasel who is following his dick into both infidelity and outright cruelty toward her while justifying it with God's will. Let his tears be from her kicking him to the curb rather than him missing the great love of his loins, Roberta. 

The Winders continue to be low key and remarkably enjoyable simply by not being anything like the other horrible couples+ on this show. 

Emily goes on a date with the King and Queen.  All bets are that unless they're paying her for a storyline or she is homeless and destitute she nopes out on joining the Clark Kingdom. 

Sidian goes on his exciting date.  He wears the shirt that Tosha lovingly stroked for him.  Viewers collectively throw up in their mouths as he attempts to woo the new woman and bring her into the fold.  I'm sure there's plenty of room in the basement. 

Original air date 2021.05.17

[EtheltoTillie]

So no Snowdens tonight?

[mamadrama]

Garrick has to be on something, right? He always looks stoned. 

Loved the date with the king and queen. "So you consider yourself bisexual?" "I AM bisexual." 

Simian claims that his job is being a "mythologist". Wtf is that? 

[LEILANI2]

Garrick doesn't think Danielle is being forced to do anything against her will.  She is lucky to receive God's calling for this divorce and welcoming a new woman who will marry her now ex husband and no longer gets his adoration and is now the third wheel in this whole mess. Danielle is so blessed.

The King is shocked, just shocked Emily is bisexual when he's the one shocked she wore a dress.

The Queen got moist when Emily revealed her bisexuality. She was giddy in all the talking heads thinking about it.

The boring trio's  sincere courtship for a third wife makes the whole polygamy life sad.  Like why can't you just be happy for now until you find the right person instead of going out of your way for ANYONE interested.  Something is not right there.

[Sasha888]

4 hours ago, GussieK said:

So no Snowdens tonight?

Looks that way. 

I'd be okay with that being PERMANENT.

[Sasha888]

Brainiac Vanessa is looking for someone to "embetter" her. 🙄

Emily seems to be interested in Vanessa and not the King. Personally, I think it was those rockin' pants Vanessa was wearing when she brought those drinks out to the garage last week....

Edited May 18, 2021 by Sasha888

[Sweetpea4Utoo]

So is it a Bart Simpson profile I see in Queen Vanessa? idk

 

[Sasha888]

Mr King Man doesn't think Emily knows what she wants.

I think Emily seems to know EXACTLY what she wants....and she just schooled you, and made you look like an asshole, your majesty.

[TMI]

25 minutes ago, mamadrama said:

 

Simian claims that his job is being a "mythologist". Wtf is that? 

Simianthe mythologist....the herder of unicorns and the walker of rainbows ....or in plain English...A Bull$hit artist!

[Emmeline]

So this makes sense, he is a B/S artist.

ORIGIN OF MYTHOLOGIST

1625–35; <Greek mȳthológ(os) story-teller (see mytho-, logo-) + -ist

Edited May 18, 2021 by Emmeline

[Sasha888]

Insipidian is disappointed that Alexandra wants to continue dating multiple guys.

Yeah, that's totally understandable, because it's not like YOU want to be with multiple people, is it....

 

[Sasha888]

What the hell kind of halter top is Garlic wearing? 😆

[Cancun]

24 minutes ago, Sasha888 said:

What the hell kind of halter top is Garlic wearing? 😆

I couldn’t stop staring at it. Was it a women’s top? Was it bunched up or ill fitting? No, it was just super weird like him.

[sainte-chapelle]

Garlic is such as asshole. He didn’t even look happy to see his kids.

Colton grew on me. I enjoy his ability to make fun of himself.

Edited May 18, 2021 by sainte-chapelle

[endure]

1 hour ago, mamadrama said:

Garrick has to be on something, right? He always looks stoned. 

Loved the date with the king and queen. "So you consider yourself bisexual?" "I AM bisexual." 

Simian claims that his job is being a "mythologist". Wtf is that? 

Garrick ~ I think he's just a dope 🤪

[endure]

1 hour ago, LEILANI2 said:

Garrick doesn't think Danielle is being forced to do anything against her will.  She is lucky to receive God's calling for this divorce and welcoming a new woman who will marry her now ex husband and no longer gets his adoration and is now the third wheel in this whole mess. Danielle is so blessed.

The King is shocked, just shocked Emily is bisexual when he's the one shocked she wore a dress.

The Queen got moist when Emily revealed her bisexuality. She was giddy in all the talking heads thinking about it.

The boring trio's  sincere courtship for a third wife makes the whole polygamy life sad.  Like why can't you just be happy for now until you find the right person instead of going out of your way for ANYONE interested.  Something is not right there.

I think maybe the bisexual girl read the situation incorrectly ha ha....why do the king and queen go after such young girls, creepy

[endure]

Well that was boring and draining.

[sainte-chapelle]

I laughed hard when Alex said she was dating other men and Sid not vicious choked on his wine.

[Sasha888]

2 hours ago, mamadrama said:

Garrick has to be on something, right? He always looks stoned. 

😆 Naturally stupid and stoned look a lot alike, I think!

9 minutes ago, endure said:

Garrick ~ I think he's just a dope 🤪

Yep. He always has his mouth hanging open, and looks like an absolute fool.

Then he speaks, and proves himself to be an absolute fool.

43 minutes ago, sainte-chapelle said:

Garlic is such as asshole. He didn’t even look happy to see his kids.

I agree. Now that he is back home in Colorado, Garlic is just as interested and affectionate with his kids as he was when he was in Mexico - in other words, not at all!

I was waiting to see if anything would be different with Dannielle once they were home...nope. Still doesn't touch her, hold her hand, or have a single nice thing to say to her. The only things he has to say to her are complaints about her behavior, her jealousy, etc. Just trying to further indoctrinate her into his little cult.

And I see our preview for next week is that he wants to plan another trip to "start the baby making". Kind of like "Well, I've been home for 72 hrs or so now, time for me to get back to banging Roberta!!!"

Garrick is revolting.

[waterytart]

What was the take-out that the Winders were eating?

[Auntie Anxiety]

My notes, because why the hell not?

The Fuc-King: I already hear a lot of red flags.

Me: Oy vay. This country is doomed.

———————————-

Is it just a coincidence that Queenie wore the All Roads Lead to My Vagina design leggings when she greeted Emily last week? Methinks she doth protest too much.

In case you didn’t know, His Royal Asshat wants to build himself a kingdom. For Christ’s Sake, man, just stop.

Emily could use some industrial strength hair removal product for her upper lip. At least I THINK it’s hair.

Queenie to Emily: How would you rate your kitchen cleaning skills? Why don’t you clean the kitchen and I’ll be back in an hour to evaluate your work.

 ——————————————

Kimberly looks like she got big a little.

————————-

If Insipidian is so desperate for more kids, why hasn’t Tosha stepped up to the plate?

Insipidian was dealt a major blow (Hahahaha). Thanks for playing and here’s the latest edition of our home game as a consolation prize. Cue sad trombone music. At this rate, Tosha will have plenty of time to up her custom tailoring skills.

I realized tonight that Sippy is sporting a modified Kate Gosselin ‘do.

——————

The Winders are the smartest and most likable of bunch.

——————-

Why is Garrick wearing that little black dress tank top? Dannnielle, you can see his poor judgment right there and you need to get away from him.

Garrick is taking gaslighting to a whole other level. Dannnielle, babe, stop doing this to yourself. Your heart isn’t in it, Garrick has zero respect for you or your feelings and he didn’t even seem to give a shit about seeing the kids upon your return home. He’s just not that into you. You are crying on the bed and it didn’t occur to him to go over to hug you? His cock has been mesmerized by the forbidden fruit. Have some self-respect and kick him out.

Dannnielle is emotional because God hasn’t delivered her from jealousy. This infuriates me on about ten different levels. #FuckyouGarrick

Edited May 18, 2021 by Auntie Anxiety

[Cancun]

7 minutes ago, waterytart said:

What was the take-out that the Winders were eating?

Thai food

[endure]

10 minutes ago, waterytart said:

What was the take-out that the Winders were eating?

Thai food

[waterytart]

16 minutes ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

 

Why is Garrick wearing that little black dress tank top? Dannnielle, you can see his poor judgment right there and you need to get away from him.

 

Bwahahaha!

12 minutes ago, Cancun said:

Thai food

Thank you!

[Adeejay]

I can’t believe Garrick blamed G-d for not delivering Danielle from jealousy.  I hope G-d tells her to, “take thee back to court and take half his assets.”

I think Tami and Sophie are shady for choosing a lumberjack for Colton.  Poor guy!

[Sasha888]

15 minutes ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

Dannnielle is emotional because God hasn’t delivered her from jealousy. This infuriates me on about ten different levels. #FuckyouGarrick

First of all, loved your whole post, laughed my ass off several times!

But this in particular stood out to me, because it really pissed me off as well. This asshole has a million ways to blame everyone except himself for why this situation isn't hunky-dory. In past episodes, he has said it's a failing on Dannnnnnnielle's part - it couldn't possibly be because of his own actions. And now, Mr. Religious is pointing the finger directly at God!!! It's God's fault - because He hasn't delivered her from the jealousy yet. 

Even way back in the first episode, he is boo-hooing to Dannnnielle's family about how his own family has basically disowned him for doing this.

So everyone - Dannielle, his own family, God, absolutely everyone - is wrong and awful and just making this hard on poor, poor Garrick.

The arrogance is just astounding.

[SilverLake0315]

2 hours ago, Sasha888 said:

What the hell kind of halter top is Garlic wearing? 😆

I kept asking the same thing. Out loud. Alone in my apartment.

”Is that... is that a woman’s tank top? Wtaf is going on here?!” 😂

[princelina]

4 minutes ago, Sasha888 said:

But this in particular stood out to me, because it really pissed me off as well. This asshole has a million ways to blame everyone except himself for why this situation isn't hunky-dory. In past episodes, he has said it's a failing on Dannnnnnnielle's part - it couldn't possibly be because of his own actions. And now, Mr. Religious is pointing the finger directly at God!!! It's God's fault - because He hasn't delivered her from the jealousy yet. 

And if he should take his mind off of fornication and adultery for 5 seconds and take a peep in his Bible, he would find that God delivering women from jealousy is not the way it usually happened; rather the wives couldn't get along and made the husband's life difficult.  Because polygamy was not God's original intent.  Neither were out-of-wedlock children, or divorces from your actual wife and mother.  That was a nice try by the producer to point out some reality to Garrick, but he's too up his own butt to realize it.

I didn't think it was hair between Emily's nose and lip; it looked like some kind of a scab or rough patch - that was the first red flag to me last week!  Haha King - I guess maybe you don't still have it!  And if they want a woman who "knows who she is" may I suggest dating someone who's not only in her early 20s?  I think the Kermits gal, who claims she's mainly into this for the female relationships, should get back to NC and look Emily up 😁

Funny how Sidian and Alexandra's "guides" mentioned nothing about polygamy or Sidion's wife during that session 😄

 

[PrincessPurrsALot]

3 hours ago, Cancun said:

I couldn’t stop staring at it. Was it a women’s top? Was it bunched up or ill fitting? No, it was just super weird like him.

I should have known I was not the only one staring at his top.  Did he steal it from Roberta's laundry to keep her scent next to him?  That's a women's tank top.  

2 hours ago, sainte-chapelle said:

I laughed hard when Alex said she was dating other men and Sid not vicious choked on his wine.

The choking was the best part.  And there was nothing awkward about a date in the front yard.  I always like to stare at the street.  I wonder if Alexaaaahndra could hear Tosha cooing.  Insipidian trying to claim that Alexaaaahndra would really like Tosha made me laugh.  Would they both spend time stroking his shirt together?  Making dreamy eyes at Insipidian? Alexaaaahndra seems like a grown ass woman.  Tosha is a cooing ten year old trapped in an adult's body. 

2 hours ago, waterytart said:

What was the take-out that the Winders were eating?

Mmm, Thai food.  They are really making Kimberley look like a rube.  When the Winders seem more worldly than you, you've been under a rock too long. 

[Texasmom1970]

I just started watching this wreck of a show about three episodes ago. I don’t know much about their backstories and names yet.

So far I have realized if I took a shot every time Garrdick said “It’s just part of plural/polygamy lifestyle,” I would be in liver failure.

Hope God delivers Danielle from jealousy straight to a divorce lawyer.

Insidious, whatever his name is, looks like a cheap magician with his hair and wardrobe. Who in their right mind would be attracted to him?

 

[Sasha888]

36 minutes ago, Texasmom1970 said:

Insidious, whatever his name is, looks like a cheap magician with his hair and wardrobe. Who in their right mind would be attracted to him?

Well no one....in their RIGHT mind. 😉

Which is why he was on date with someone who was just enjoying her screen time, is not the least bit interested in him, and I think was enjoying trolling him. "The psychic said pretty much the opposite of what I was thinking." "What if I want multiple husbands?" 😆 You go, Alex!!

Other than wannabe actresses who will go on a date with him to get on the show, all he has is his little bubbleheaded handmaiden, who we can probably all agree is not in her right mind. When they were having their glass of wine at that lovely, curbside table in the rocks, I could just picture the little airhead peering out of the curtains, clapping her hands together and squealing. That chick ain't right.

But yeah, point well taken, he seems to spend a bunch of time on what he thinks is his super sexy "look", and it is not working. I'm sure he and the bubblehead think he is just SO edgy and unique, but his dumb hair, eyeliner, tons of rings and bracelets and crap all just screams "1990's Goth" to me. 

[EtheltoTillie]

I thought that Alexandra was surprised when he took her to the psychic. At first I think she thought he was joking. 

[Mothra]

6 hours ago, LEILANI2 said:

The King is shocked, just shocked Emily is bisexual when he's the one shocked she wore a dress.

The Queen got moist when Emily revealed her bisexuality. She was giddy in all the talking heads thinking about it.

The King hasn't thought this through.  Hot Queen-on-Queen action, anyone?

 

1 hour ago, PrincessPurrsALot said:

The choking was the best part.  And there was nothing awkward about a date in the front yard.  I always like to stare at the street.  I wonder if Alexaaaahndra could hear Tosha cooing.  Insipidian trying to claim that Alexaaaahndra would really like Tosha made me laugh.  Would they both spend time stroking his shirt together?  Making dreamy eyes at Insipidian? Alexaaaahndra seems like a grown ass woman.  Tosha is a cooing ten year old trapped in an adult's body. 

Alexaaaaahndra introduced herself as Alexandra, you'll notice.  Not that this says anything about how pretentious Obsidian is or anything.

Kimberley, darling, if you want to join the fabulous Winders--and who doesn't?  Sign *me* up--ditch the baseball cap and the too-tight plaid shirts.  Look at what the successful applicants are wearing.  Dress for the job you want.  The wives already like you fine (your being heftier than advertised didn't hurt you one bit), and Colton is looking for a spark, not a conversationalist.  You should probably ditch the mottoed t-shirts as well. 

I agree with everyone:  Garlic had on a woman's t-shirt.  It was pretty cute for what it was.  Maybe this is Dannnnnnielle's revenge:  dress him in women's clothing, beginning subtly with underwear, and laugh at him secretly.  As she moves him into muu-muus, god will reward her by removing her jealousy.  Especially if Garlic continues to walk around mouth-breathing.

Altogether, for me anyway, a most rewarding episode.

 

[Mothra]

Garlic and Qbert:

 

                                                  

[Opine]

10 hours ago, Sasha888 said:

What the hell kind of halter top is Garlic wearing? 😆

It was definitely a girls top.

[Cancun]

6 hours ago, PrincessPurrsALot said:

I should have known I was not the only one staring at his top.  Did he steal it from Roberta's laundry to keep her scent next to him?  That's a women's tank top.  

That’s a brilliant theory! The old “sleep with his/her shirt” trick taken to a whole other level.

[Opine]

5 hours ago, GussieK said:

I thought that Alexandra was surprised when he took her to the psychic. At first I think she thought he was joking. 

And love the psychic, I did!  You might get married if you choose.  You might have kids if you choose........   Wow! Those are some strong specific predictions - not!

[EtheltoTillie]

3 minutes ago, Opine said:

And love the psychic, I did!  You might get married if you choose.  You might have kids if you choose........   Wow! Those are some strong specific predictions - not!

The psychic was so blatant with her cold reading skills.  "which one of you likes . . . X?"

[Auntie Anxiety]

5 hours ago, Mothra said:

You should probably ditch the mottoed t-shirts as well

Hey, mottoed is one thing! That puppy was scriptured, goddammit!

[Booger666]

The king doesn’t want a sister wife, he wants a nanny willing to be paid in sperm.

Garrick does not care at all about Dannielle’s feelings.  He actually seems to low level despise her.

[xwordfanatik]

 

Fuck you, GarrICK!  I hope your dick rots and falls the Hell off!   I hate, loathe and despise that rat bastard.  Selfish, arrogant asshole.

[xwordfanatik]

3 hours ago, Opine said:

And love the psychic, I did!  You might get married if you choose.  You might have kids if you choose........   Wow! Those are some strong specific predictions - not!

Even Miss Cleo could outpredict that phony!  LOL

[Pepper Mostly]

14 hours ago, endure said:

I think maybe the bisexual girl read the situation incorrectly ha ha....why do the king and queen go after such young girls, creepy

Emily was certainly able to burst Jarod's bubble pretty quickly. He showed his ass in record time. "So, you consider yourself bisexual?" Talk about condescending and ignorant. Never mind that he pretty much had to come right out and say "Only my sexual gratification matters here, missy!". 

I almost fell off my couch when she said she was 22. Poor girl looks rough. 

1 hour ago, xwordfanatik said:

Even Miss Cleo could outpredict that phony!  LOL

That "psychic" had to have been just the producer's auntie who wanted to be on TV, right? I could cold read people better. "Who likes to dance?" Seriously? And never mind whether or not she could cold read--Helen Keller could have noticed how Alexandra responded to the "I see three children" and "you'll be very important to the children" statements. Her face slammed shut faster than you could say "polygamist relationship". 

[Shelbie]

Garrick is so angry that Dannielle hasn’t “gotten over” her jealousy. I think he realizes he can’t blame her so he blames god. He is such a tool and I hope Dannielle gets out and shakes her head that she even considered it.

[mamadrama]

I wonder how long until God delivers his desire for Ick to have a threesome?

[Twopper]

Tosha and Sidion--I can see him letting another wife push Tosha around.  She seems to have the "keep sweet "
 approach down pat which is interesting as this isn't a fundy Mormon couple.  She needs to pay attention to Dannielle.  Unimpressed with Alexandra and the psychic. 

Speaking of Dannielle, she needs to lose Garrick.   He obviously seems to not care for her at all, but I think he needs her to hang around to feed his massive ego that he is some sort of patriarch. 

I have no idea why the Winders stay on this show except maybe they like the money and TLC feels it needs at least one "couple" that is fundy Mormon.  They need to find another fundy woman who shares their religion.  This Kimberly person is not going to mesh even if Colton suddenly gets the hots for her.  Out of all these people, I can almost stand the Winders.

I find the Clarks boring, but i like Emily--I just don't like her with them.  She also looks rough for 22. 

I enjoyed the absence of Dmitri and his harem.

[endure]

51 minutes ago, Pepper Mostly said:

I almost fell off my couch when she said she was 22. Poor girl looks rough. 

2 hours ago, xwordfanatik said:

Me too, I actually reversed to hear that again!....although the maturity level is on, she seemed a bit naive.

[PrincessPurrsALot]

37 minutes ago, Twopper said:

Speaking of Dannielle, she needs to lose Garrick.   He obviously seems to not care for her at all, but I think he needs her to hang around to feed his massive ego that he is some sort of patriarch. 

To me, he used God/The Bible wants me to be polygamist as a way to dump the wife he no longer wants.  However, within his religion he didn't feel like he could actually leave her.  That would make him the bad guy in the situation.  Meanwhile, he treats her like crap.  If she leaves, he can claim she was not able to conform to God's will.  Ugh.  There is a real battle for the worst this season. 

[princelina]

2 hours ago, Twopper said:

Tosha and Sidion--I can see him letting another wife push Tosha around.  She seems to have the "keep sweet "
 approach down pat which is interesting as this isn't a fundy Mormon couple.  She needs to pay attention to Dannielle.  Unimpressed with Alexandra and the psychic. 

I remember Tosha's mom saying something about her "leaving home" when she was 15 - which seems weird to me.  She was happy to move in with the other wife, she's happy to mother his kids - maybe she just has some unmet "family" needs and enjoys being surrounded by people now.

1 hour ago, PrincessPurrsALot said:

There is a real battle for the worst this season. 

I must disagree - Garrick wins The Worst by a mile!  There may be a battle for second worst . . . 😄

[Shelbie]

The men are all dreadful and why any woman would want to be in their life and share them is beyond me.

I totally understand this is petty but every time I see Sidian on screen I want to hold him down and cut his hair. It drives me so crazy I sometimes miss the idiotic things he says.