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S02.E12: Total Ship Show

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Glenn reels in the aftermath of the boat crash. After assessing the damage, the crew does their best to get the boat - and their mindset - into charter-ready condition… but a high-maintenance group of female guests only sends the crew further into a spiral. A thunderstorm threatens the guests' first dinner, and Natasha only adds to the chaos when she suddenly decides to remove courses from the dinner menu, leaving the guests hungry for more. When Jean-Luc reveals to Dani that he may have given her an STD, things really get turbulent.

Airdate: 05.17.2021

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Well yall do a good recap for me because as of today my DirectTV goes away and so far I haven't purchased an app that carries Bravo.  Not that there's much to recap!

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On 5/14/2021 at 1:21 PM, TexasGal said:

When Jean-Luc reveals to Dani that he may have given her an STD, things really get turbulent.

Spoiler

Does "STD" mean pregnancy?

 

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1 hour ago, AnnieBananie said:
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Does "STD" mean pregnancy?

 

Spoiler

Sexually transmitted disease

 

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On 5/15/2021 at 6:05 PM, RoxiP said:
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Sexually transmitted disease

 

Spoiler

Dani is pregnant and the timing strongly matches up with the filming of the show. 

 

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Well JL was itching his dick on camera so……

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Back in 1999, I was on a 20 passenger yacht in the Galapagos.  Nothing like this.  But chef Raoul was awesome.

On 5/16/2021 at 7:14 PM, AnnieBananie said:
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Dani is pregnant and the timing strongly matches up with the filming of the show. 

 

Ewww

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1 minute ago, Mr. Miner said:

They should throw Lurch and his STD overboard.

Hey!  Lurch is my brother.  I wish I were taller.  LOL

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The only good thing I can say about these women is that “they eat”.

Erika, the blond, has a rich daddy and has been on the Bachelor and Bachelor Nation whatever that is.

The brunette who thinks she is the bomb must be delusional.

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6 minutes ago, Emmeline said:

The only good thing I can say about these women is that “they eat”.

Erika, the blond, has a rich daddy and has been on the Bachelor and Bachelor Nation whatever that is.

The brunette who thinks she is the bomb must be delusional.

Erica was a contestant on The Bachelor as well as on two seasons of Bachelor Pad, a Bachelor adjacent show. FYI Bachelor Nation are the super fans of The Bachelor, not an actual show.  

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Is Erica the one with the hideous accent and looks like she is 50 years old? She reminds me of the Queen of Versailles from previous seasons. 

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Everything about this episode was icky

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Even if she was on the pill, IUD, or diaphragm, you always, always, ALWAYS need barrier method birth control. No exceptions until you are in a monogamous committed relationship with recent negative STD test results in hand. 
As gross as chlamydia is, it's a fairly benign STD. Not so with herpes, genital warts, or HIV/AIDS.
Plus she might have unwittingly given it to him, it's often asymptomatic in women. She could have had it for some time without knowing ...

Those guests were so awful! Even nice mama was a lonely bore. Poor Allie having to act like she cares about these boring, very basic stories.  
Her daughter was almost like a cartoon character. Titties for Trump? Dear God, what possesses someone to equate the two? Babes for Biden? Or maybe Bernie or Bush? Pu$$y for Pence? 😂 I'd better stop, I could get very dirty here. Then she said her friend wants to date single Don Jr.? Don Jr. was not single last summer. He wasn't married but he had a public, high profile girlfriend, and probably still does. But yes, wearing that swimsuit in Croatia will certainly catch the eye of Don Jr. back in the good old USA. (Not that I have a clue how to meet any president's son)

Do the guests ever use the hot tub? I would get in that thing every night before bed! Or when it's raining I think it would be a fun diversion.

After the crash on the dock and Colin and the deck crew were checking the transom, Captain went to his cabin and changed his clothes, including taking off his microphone. I wonder what that was about? Calling the owner but not having the producers access to the conversation? Maybe he had to shower because he soiled himself? Maybe he needed some alone time to regain his composure? 

Natasha fails to follow through on her promises. Again. These are Americans so expect breakfast orders to include eggs! We all hope she's figured out eggs because most Americans equate breakfast with eggs.

 

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7 minutes ago, lcarolynl said:

Even if she was on the pill, IUD, or diaphragm, you always, always, ALWAYS need barrier method birth control. No exceptions until you are in a monogamous committed relationship with recent negative STD test results in hand. 

carolynl you are the best!

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Also, these guests pretending they were their own RHOBDSY franchise was the worst.  No one gives a shit about you.

Edited by Lassus
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Did I hear right? Did one of the ladies ask the captain if he can make the storm go away? This was right before dinner being served. He had the funniest look on his face.

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2 hours ago, Lassus said:

Thirdly, the preponderance of doubt is with human fault over computer fault, so, Glenn.....

I couldn't help but be reminded of those "older" people whose "brakes don't work" and they crash into a store front. In fact my dear departed father drove right through the back of his garage at 87. Last time with the car keys.....

All I can say is that when you're on vacation, and one of your supposed friends says "can we please not talk about politics"...... FREAKIN DON'T TALK ABOUT POLITICS!

Edited by dleighg
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6 hours ago, lcarolynl said:

Even if she was on the pill, IUD, or diaphragm, you always, always, ALWAYS need barrier method birth control. No exceptions until you are in a monogamous committed relationship with recent negative STD test results in hand. 
As gross as chlamydia is, it's a fairly benign STD. Not so with herpes, genital warts, or HIV/AIDS.
Plus she might have unwittingly given it to him, it's often asymptomatic in women. She could have had it for some time without knowing ...

Those guests were so awful! Even nice mama was a lonely bore. Poor Allie having to act like she cares about these boring, very basic stories.  
Her daughter was almost like a cartoon character. Titties for Trump? Dear God, what possesses someone to equate the two? Babes for Biden? Or maybe Bernie or Bush? Pu$$y for Pence? 😂 I'd better stop, I could get very dirty here. Then she said her friend wants to date single Don Jr.? Don Jr. was not single last summer. He wasn't married but he had a public, high profile girlfriend, and probably still does. But yes, wearing that swimsuit in Croatia will certainly catch the eye of Don Jr. back in the good old USA. (Not that I have a clue how to meet any president's son)

Do the guests ever use the hot tub? I would get in that thing every night before bed! Or when it's raining I think it would be a fun diversion.

After the crash on the dock and Colin and the deck crew were checking the transom, Captain went to his cabin and changed his clothes, including taking off his microphone. I wonder what that was about? Calling the owner but not having the producers access to the conversation? Maybe he had to shower because he soiled himself? Maybe he needed some alone time to regain his composure? 

Natasha fails to follow through on her promises. Again. These are Americans so expect breakfast orders to include eggs! We all hope she's figured out eggs because most Americans equate breakfast with eggs.

 

I misread as “Bush for Bernie”!  😆

 I understand that Dani’s first impulse was to go home - all of this is caught on camera!  But all I could think, as an American, is girl, make sure your medical bills are covered before you leave. 

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I cannot believe that woman sat there WATCHING (whoever it was) unpack her bags. I admit I have a cleaning lady. And I'm so uncomfortable with the whole "someone-doing-chores-for-me" that I clear out when she's working. Does she really think her employee wants to hear her rattle on while she's putting your undies away?

Edited by dleighg
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2 hours ago, AryasMum said:

I misread as “Bush for Bernie”!  😆

 

That's better than I was thinking! I got "Buns" or "Backdoor" and then I thought I'd better quit.

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I was playing a little game of “match the cheap luggage to the trashy guest” while they were bringing everything aboard.  

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10 hours ago, Lassus said:

MOST IMPORTANTLY I DON'T CARE ABOUT ENDLESSLY HEARING ABOUT A RASH ON JEAN-LUC'S DICK SEVEN OR EIGHT TIMES, FFS.

Agreed! I also think JL is an ass for telling Dani right before meal service, mid-charter.  He couldn't confirm whether it was an STD yet and it's not like they were going to get it on that night, so why tell her then? The only thing it did was make her totally freak out when she needed to focus on the guests. I completely understand her reaction and why she wants to get the hell out of there. JL could have handled that so much better. Such a repulsive moron!

 

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11 hours ago, dleighg said:

I couldn't help but be reminded of those "older" people whose "brakes don't work" and they crash into a store front. In fact my dear departed father drove right through the back of his garage at 87. Last time with the car keys.....

All I can say is that when you're on vacation, and one of your supposed friends says "can we please not talk about politics"...... FREAKIN DON'T TALK ABOUT POLITICS!

My mother did the same thing. She pulled into the driveway and kept going right through the laundry room. She wasn't 87 yet. She said my foot was on the brake. No it was on the gas. Last time she drove. 

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Wow the voices in this group!  For the first time I couldn't immediately tell when Daisy was talking.  It sounded like Marge Simpson's sisters with their super ciggie voices yakking away.🤣

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I could take those titties for Trump and vocal fry them. At least there was no PDA this episode. And the crew actually had to do grown-up things with the boat. Loved the storm.

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On 5/15/2021 at 3:05 PM, RoxiP said:
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Sexually transmitted disease

 

Not using a condom can result in both. 

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21 hours ago, PaperTree said:

I know the mods don't want us being political, but yeah, toss her over the side, 

I loved the "it's snorkeling, you don't need a wet suit" comment.

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On 5/17/2021 at 6:59 PM, Mr. Miner said:

They should throw Lurch and his STD overboard.

OMG, Lurch. 😈

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5 hours ago, nokat said:

I loved the "it's snorkeling, you don't need a wet suit" comment.

Rather it was "do you have scuba suits?"..... "it's snorkeling, you don't need a SCUBA suit." Because the annoying person is actually correct that one might wear a (WET) suit to go snorkeling in chilly water. But she's annoying so I don't mind making fun of her. 

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28 minutes ago, dleighg said:

Rather it was "do you have scuba suits?"..... "it's snorkeling, you don't need a SCUBA suit." Because the annoying person is actually correct that one might wear a (WET) suit to go snorkeling in chilly water. But she's annoying so I don't mind making fun of her. 

Thanks for the correction. I wasn't paying close attention. People here often use wet suits to surf and it's not uncommon in chilly water.

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14 hours ago, 65mickey said:

My mother did the same thing. She pulled into the driveway and kept going right through the laundry room. She wasn't 87 yet. She said my foot was on the brake. No it was on the gas. Last time she drove. 

After getting an internal defibrillator my father was not allowed to drive for six months, before he was allowed behind the wheel I took him to be "assessed" he failed and they took his license right then and there, I did not have to be the evil one that wouldn't let him drive, he was 91 and recently passed away at 94. 

Didn't Glenn admit to overloading the computer with commands to the point where it shut down which lead to not having power so the boat bumped the dock?  The boat painter spray painted the damage but did not sand down anything, it was lumpy and looked terrible.

JL and his red member, ugh.  He admitted to having happen once before and still didn't not wear a condom with what ever blonde with an accent?  I find that lack of responsibility so unattractive.

 

 

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I cannot understand why JL allowed himself to be filmed discussing to himself and then to Dani his red, itchy member.  No wonder he hasn’t been seen on WWHL. It was humiliating for him and Dani & it seems there must be a place where you can quietly ( take your mike off) discuss this very private occurrence. I didn’t need to know this in order to enjoy his show.

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I’m reminded of the time my boss had a conversation with a friend on the phone with his office door wide open.  The topic was his allergic reaction to spermicide, with a graphic description of his symptoms.  Gross.

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2 hours ago, Caseysgirl said:

I cannot understand why JL allowed himself to be filmed discussing to himself and then to Dani his red, itchy member.  

Seriously? We're talking about the man-boy who has a full torso ugly tattoo, with ridiculous J/L wings to top it off. Also the same guy who thinks he's the best deckhand since Ishmael. 

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I swear that Pee-wee Herman was a guest. What was up with that girl changing her voice like that - creepy! 

Dani, you’re too good for this and that’s your reason for leaving? You were begging for sex from Frankenstein and then making out with another woman to get his attention. When did you start being too good for reality TV? Girl, don’t be dumb and use protection or better yet, don’t have unprotected sex with someone you just met. 

Natasha is just lazy. 

Tarzan, the womanizer, is eerily good with boats.  His theme song should be “Boats and Hoes”

 

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On 5/18/2021 at 9:06 AM, dleighg said:

I cannot believe that woman sat there WATCHING (whoever it was) unpack her bags. I admit I have a cleaning lady. And I'm so uncomfortable with the whole "someone-doing-chores-for-me" that I clear out when she's working. Does she really think her employee wants to hear her rattle on while she's putting your undies away?

She decided she would play the part of Ramona Singer.  It still creeps me out to think of a stranger unpacking my suitcase and handling my clothes.

On 5/18/2021 at 6:24 PM, 65mickey said:

My mother did the same thing. She pulled into the driveway and kept going right through the laundry room. She wasn't 87 yet. She said my foot was on the brake. No it was on the gas. Last time she drove. 

My grandma's boyfriend did one better. Going through a car wash, he put his foot on the gas, going through the car wash and across a busy road.  He was lucky he didn't get hurt.

Maybe Jean Luc doesn't have an STD, but is allergic to vagina juice.

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On 5/17/2021 at 11:23 PM, PaperTree said:

carolynl you are the best!

I don't mean to be bragging by quoting you but I come back and see this compliment and it makes me feel good about myself so it's only right that I thank you for it. Thank you!!

I raised two daughters and drilled this into them from an early age. I had a lot of other warnings and "rules" for their sexuality such as: 
It's okay to have sex, but you have to make that decision when you are fully sober and have at least one foot on the ground. 
Before having sex, you have to discuss birth control with your partner. I know it's embarrassing but if you're not mature enough to discuss birth control, you're not mature enough for sex. 

But to bring it back to the show, JL's talk of his inflamed (and not in the good way😂) penis is cracking me up. I'm watching in part horror and part fascination and a lot of laughing. He's confiding in the producers and I have to wonder if he deeply regrets that decision. I think he's completely let down his guard and has forgotten that he's being filmed to be broadcast on tv.

Dani is really melting down from this news. Chlamydia is not the life sentence she's making this out to be. I have a close friend who got genital warts from her husband of 8 years and let me tell you, THAT is worth freaking out over!

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On 5/19/2021 at 4:36 PM, TheCouchPotato said:

Natasha is just lazy. 

Ohhhh...she's more than "just lazy."   She's A LIAR !!!!

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On 5/17/2021 at 7:08 PM, Emmeline said:

Erika, the blond, has a rich daddy and has been on the Bachelor and Bachelor Nation whatever that is.

We watched the show on DVR tonight.  I came to this forum because I KNEW I knew her from somewhere.  I'm not a regular or avid Bachelor watcher...and I haven't seen the other franchises...Paradise? and ???   SO, thank you for this!

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Here's the "Pita Party" for this episode, with Colin added. It's a really interesting one, regarding what happened to the boat, the guests [spoiler alert : they weren't as bad as it appears on the show], etc. : https://www.instagram.com/tv/CPB2L4Srnj0/

Edited by Diane Mars
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5 hours ago, Diane Mars said:

Here's the "Pita Party" for this episode, with Colin added. It's a really interesting one, regarding what happened to the boat, the guests [spoiler alert : they weren't as bad as it appears on the show], etc. : https://www.instagram.com/tv/CPB2L4Srnj0/

I think Colin is really cute.  He is also one of two guys that had a girlfriend and stayed faithful.  The other was the blond guy Max from the UK.

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5 minutes ago, Emmeline said:

I think Colin is really cute.

I do also. Though the one night when he had his hair loose I didn't like his looks so much. He's better with the man bun/pony tail thing. 

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On 5/14/2021 at 6:37 PM, RoxiP said:

Well yall do a good recap for me because as of today my DirectTV goes away and so far I haven't purchased an app that carries Bravo.  Not that there's much to recap!

Hey! I'm enjoying Bravo, TLC, E! & other decent programming & some good "on demand" now and then on "sling." I think like $30-$35 a month (don't quote me on it). Try it out if at all an option for you.

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What was Dani saying in Portuguese? I missed some as I couldn't look at the captioning right then. I can not blame her for wanting to RUN away from there because it's a natural instinct. "Get me away from this problem (not that you can get away from YOURSELF), the atmosphere, & the person who is involved in it!" It'll probably end up being nothing, as usual (In terms of the TV show-not life).  But unless JL was with someone right before the season began, I'd be inclined to think Dani gave *him* the STD. Especially asymptotic Chlamydia. 

Edited by Kdawg82
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TexasGal

Proactive reminder of the site’s politics policy given some of the guest behavior.  You can discuss their behavior but not broader politics.   Also, as always, real time events such as current news about crew members are spoilers.  These can be discussed in the media thread.

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