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S12.E17: Real Life Starts Now (Decision Day)

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2 minutes ago, athousandclowns said:

I watch the therapist Stephanie that someone posted a link to years ago and I guess she saw all 6 hours and said lots left on the cutting room floor.  

Thanks for mentioning Stephanie Lee's recaps. I haven't watched them in a few weeks but will check this one out. I wondered why MAFS didn't just move on to the other couples, leave Chris and Paige's shenanigans on the cutting room floor and just give a voice over wrt what happened.

Vivianna really annoyed me this episode. It was important to her to redeem herself and get her zingers in when talking to Chris and when talking to Erik and Virginia about how they rose above being impacted by "other couples" when she advocated for matching the disastrous duo #1 in the first place. Also, Erik and Virginia are disastrous duo #2.

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17 minutes ago, athousandclowns said:

I predict none of the couples will be together by the reunion

The only couple I could see NOT being together at the reunion, depending on when the reunion is, is Erik and Virginia, but I would guess they are. (They should have broken up last night but I wasn't surprised that they stayed together - I was on the "they shouldn't stay together, but they will" train about them.) I do think Erik and Virginia will have a tumultuous relationship with a lot of arguing no matter how long they stay together.

I could see both Erik and Virginia and Briana and Vincent splitting up a year or two down the line when they start planning for the future they want and realize they want different things, like the Miami couple Lily and her husband whose name I can't remember. They got to the "where is the relationship going?" point and realized they wanted different things (though that was obvious during the show), and broke up, as they should have - doesn't mean they didn't care for each other, just means they weren't a good fit. 

I'm not sure Clara will follow through on her "if he hasn't said he loves me and/or we're not having sex after six months, I'm out" rule, though IMO she should. And in her shoes, I would need A LOT of information about the fact that apparently he's gone years without sex when he's been in relationships. She's said this is "by far" her healthiest relationship, so I think she'll cling to it. And Ryan just seems really passive, so I could see him "for sure, for sure"-ing for literally years, just going with the flow. I could see them lasting a while, though I do think if they have kids, the church thing could be a deal-breaker.

11 minutes ago, Ilovepie said:

I think he's just over this nonsense

I said last night that Jake clearly couldn't wait to leave the group get-together. I don't think he enjoyed much about the experience.

Edited by Empress1
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1 hour ago, Devvie said:

AMEN.  That's exactly what I was thinking.... "How DARE you imply, let alone state, that she "pulled" him.  That is a LIE... shame on you "Pastor" Cal.  If I remember correctly, LYING is the 9th commandment and perhaps, you should go back to remedial Christianity class!  

I have to say I understand what PC means - she had so many opportunities to kick him to the curb but she either runs after him (like last night) or accepts him back or supports whatever bullshit is flying out his mouth as apologies for bad behavior, or talks him down in with her religiosity and baby whispers. She has enabled him to continue to pull his stunts and spew his lies.

She had so many opportunities even going back to the day after the wedding when he said he wasn't attracted AFTER HAVING SEX WITH HER! to just be like "nope, I didn't sign up for this. I want out and I don't want any contact with him." But instead she has given him chance after chance after chance. In any other situation, we would be Team Paige, but her own behavior has been so frustrating I don't like either one now. By Decision Day, she is at least partly to blame by continuing to give him a platform.

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1 hour ago, Hangin Out said:

As you see, I still don’t know what I’m doin with these pictures.  (Above).  Carmen Miranda. Bearanda.

FTFY 😄

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3 minutes ago, ChristmasJones said:

The experts: Ryan, do you want to stay married, or get divorced?

Ryan: Yeah, no....for sure...

 Snarky edits:

Ryan: Um...repeat the question, please.

Despite the size of my ears I didn't hear you clearly.

OR

Ryan: I am a man of faith. I believe in the Word of God. I was raised(reared) in the church by both of my parents who are both pastors.

But the wedding vows I took with a stranger is a non covenant marriage.

Using that loop hole....I'd like to get a divorce.

Clara's head explodes.....

 

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Next week is Part 1 of 2 of the Atlanta Reunion...

How is there going to be enough content to fill the shows or it is going to be a bazillion commercials?

Giving PO$ any camera time is shabby and disgusting of Lifetime.

I will flip tables and couch cushions if we find he and Paige are friends with benefits.

I would want Viv to take a bat to the both of them.

 

 

Edited by humbleopinion
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17 hours ago, endure said:

Paige & Chris both make me sick.

I'm glad you're back being single Haley but I doubt you will ever be happy.

Boy, that distain on her face was unbelievable.  I’m happy they picked him first for the answer.  I wonder how many men have told her off in the past.

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18 hours ago, Straycat80 said:

Erik and Virginia say yes. I still think they will be divorced by the reunion or shortly afterwards. 

I wouldn’t want him driving my plane.  He has bad judgement.

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16 hours ago, endure said:

Chris you should date Haley, she's single too!

PERFECT !!!!!

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6 hours ago, bichonblitz said:

She's wearing black hose and black patent leather shoes to complete the outfit. Horrific!

I'm so mad at Erik because I loved him so much in the beginning. They agree on nothing. Where to live, dog dicipline, sleeping with the cats, having kids, getting drunk and not coming home at night, having kids. WTF is wrong with these two that they think they should stay married? I think Erik is afraid and embarrassed of failure. 

Can't stand Vincent. He will never get over Bri's 'bossiness". I hate that she wants to try to change for him. She said she won't change for anybody, this is who she is but I don't believe her. 

Something happened in Paige's life that caused to be so damaged. Poor thing needs deep therapy or her next man will treat her the same as Chris. She and Chris will continue to bump uglies for a while until he finds someone else that is better looking. Mercedes must have dumped him right after the miscarriage. How dare he argue with Dr. Viv. Smug asshole. 

Haley is gross. No accountability for the demise of the marriage. It's all Jake's fault. She really, really tried, ya'll! 

Clara, the thick shiny red lipstick has got to go. It looks like it's going to drip right off her lips. It's all I can see. It accentuates her man jaw and is not a good look. Same with the dark roots and platinum blonde. It takes alot of maintenance to keep hair that color. I would like to see her with honey blonde highlights and a lighter lip color. 

I CAN NOT wait for the reunion. It's gonna be epic because that host (Kevin?) does not hold back, I've seen him before. He goes in hard and takes no shit. 

Oh good.  Haley and Jake.  I hope he comes out with some good ones.  Worth watching.

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6 hours ago, suzeecat said:

I hope Paige watches the show.  In hindsight, I think she will see things much more clearly. 

By now she will have seen Chris chide Pastor Cal with that comment "There are so many queens out there, and you picked HER?"  If she's still acting into him next week she's hopeless.

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Hey Jake Harder...start up your Jeep and LIBIDO...VROOM...VROOM

No masks means High Time to hit the local watering holes and cash in on some hot babes who grooved on your vibe from the show...they can see your face and fangirl you.

Make sure you post pictures of all your conquests so your viewing audience and friends here on PrimeTimer can applaud your getting some lovin' and making Hales jealous....

We know you get an alert every time your name, Jake Harder MAFS pops up online...hi...

Edited by humbleopinion
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2 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

Next week is Part 1 of 2 of the Atlanta Reunion...

How is there going to be enough content to fill the shows or it is going to be a bazillion commercials?

Probably a lot more fighting. Can't wait!

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I've made it through this season and every single episode chipped away at my patience!   I don't think any of these couples will last and I scoffed at their delusional happiness on Decision Day.  Almost all of them are sticking it out due to anxious attachment styles and profound loneliness.  I wanted Jake to show up in his fanny pack, Bono sunglasses, dress shoes and a graphic tee to give Hailey an ultimate F you on Decision Day.  Good for Jake, he's a man of few words who has a dry sense of humor and I give him an A+ for not plastering on a fake smile and giving into the annoying chatty cheerfulness of everyone at the gathering during the end of this episode.    

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21 hours ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Ryan's  bow-tie makes him look like a kid.

IMO, he looks like a "cartoon character" from a 60's-era comic strip.

What is he thinking?  What is the message he's trying to convey to his audience?  That "look" took a lot of planning and execution. 

Speaking for myself, I wouldn't be caught dead being seen with a person in Ryan's "costume" because all their "attention-seeking" ways would severely grate on my nerves.

Please, someone, explain his "get-up."

 

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7 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

5. Why is it so important to Haley that Jake "learned something" during the marriage?

It's not. It's only important to Haley that she convince everyone that she worked so, so hard to make the marriage work. She gave it her all and learned so much about herself. She's very deep, you know; not at all superficial. Clearly it was Jake's fault the marriage didn't work. He didn't even learn anything about himself!  

Sorry, Haley, we're on to you. You took one look at Jake, his slogan t-shirts and 80's house and were turned off. I mean, I get it. Jake wouldn't be my cup of tea either. They just weren't right for each other and no amount of "work" was going to change that. I don't understand why she can't admit that instead of acting like she worked hard at the relationship. We all know she didn't work at it at all.

Edited by absolutelyido
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17 minutes ago, pdlinda said:

IMO, he looks like a "cartoon character" from a 60's-era comic strip.

What is he thinking?  What is the message he's trying to convey to his audience?  That "look" took a lot of planning and execution. 

Speaking for myself, I wouldn't be caught dead being seen with a person in Ryan's "costume" because all their "attention-seeking" ways would severely grate on my nerves.

Please, someone, explain his "get-up."

 

I wouldn't be caught dead with Ryan either! His looks are attention seeking and a hodgepodge of art school hipster, teenage skateboarder and barbershop quartet singer and his haircut looks like a blend of a Brazilian bikini wax and cockatoo.  Ryan doesn't seem to know who he really is, that's why he grasps at all of these costumed looks and talks in bizarre Tony Robbins inspirational nonsense circles.  Ryan talks like he's a college student desperately trying to pad the word count on an essay. 

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18 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

Briana’s dress is very Karen.

What does this mean?

I think I am in the minority but I really liked Briana's dress, hair and makeup.

I thought Clara looked amazing in her dress; I really loved it! Now if she would only get rid of that bright red lipstick, which does her no favors!

 

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2 minutes ago, ECM1231 said:

What does this mean?

I think I am in the minority but I really liked Briana's dress, hair and makeup.

I thought Clara looked amazing in her dress; I really loved it! Now if she would only get rid of that bright red lipstick, which does her no favors!

 

The style, clean cut, on point color is reminiscent of Karen's style.

Clara's dress, especially the color on her skin tone was very pretty.

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Some people are saying Jake will be getting a lot of attention from women, and perhaps he will if that's your type (definitely not mine), but I also think Clara will get a lot of attention from men if she and Ryan break up (which I think they will within a year or so).  She has a pleasant personality and she did look fabulous in that dress, like an old time movie star.  Somebody just needs to tell her to tone down that lipstick and pick a different shade.   I think there are a lot of guys out there who would gladly bring her donuts. 😋 

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2 minutes ago, Crashcourse said:

Some people are saying Jake will be getting a lot of attention from women, and perhaps he will if that's your type (definitely not mine), but I also think Clara will get a lot of attention from men if she and Ryan break up (which I think they will within a year or so).  She has a pleasant personality and she did look fabulous in that dress, like an old time movie star.  Somebody just needs to tell her to tone down that lipstick and pick a different shade.   I think there are a lot of guys out there who would gladly bring her donuts. 😋 

Clara is a very appealing, fun, vivacious woman who  plenty of good guys would commit their penis to...

Hopefully, she has more confidence to not pick dickheads but to let the jerks sift through her fingers until she gets a great guy.

Her MAFS friends can suss them for her.

Lipstick wise she will hue down once she is off teevee.

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14 minutes ago, humbleopinion said:

The style, clean cut, on point color is reminiscent of Karen's style.

Clara's dress, especially the color on her skin tone was very pretty.

Karen from New Orleans season?

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9 minutes ago, ECM1231 said:

Karen from New Orleans season?

Yes, that shade of red would be very flattering.

If the dress was sparkly then Amani would have it in her closet.

Plunging frontal covers up enough but just barely.

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22 hours ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Virgina and Erik: 

Decision: Erik, OMG! A "proposal"!  VA, yes.

Never mind the cats, the boozing, the control,...!

Is it just me or did anyone think it was weird that they didn't always ask one person in the couple to speak first?  Like I'm pretty sure they asked Clara and Ryan both and Clara spoke first, ditto Erick and Virginia.  And with Jake and Haley they asked him a hypothetical question about what he would do if Haley wanted to stay married.  Usually it is predecided who they will ask first.  Am I getting this right?

Dr. Viv's entire getup was shockingly ugly--cheap lace trim, black stockings, weird ruffles/mullet hem.  The only thing worse is what Ryan did to his mustache for the reunion.

 

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12 hours ago, Hangin Out said:

 The twelve thousand commercials disgusted me.

The whole reason I pay the staggering fee for cable is so I can DVR everything and not wind up in an insane asylum having to endure those banks of commercials.

As a matter of fact for last night's freak show snooze fest (I had already seen the spoiler threads that accurately stated what the final results would be) I FF'd through half the show to avoid any more nausea than I felt when I did catch the fake smiles and champagne associated with the "yes" replies from those who chose to prolong the agony to get more TV exposure on Kevin Fraser's follow-up.

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9 hours ago, Nancybeth said:

Chris is a sociopath, in my (totally non-professional) opinion. BUT. I believe that Paige has basically been brainwashed by her the particular brand of Christianity that she was raised in. From the beginning she has been so focused on the fact that this relationship is ordained by God. I'm sure she also has a healthy does of "the man is the head of a household" belief. She's let herself be fooled into thinking that she has to put up with Chris' nonsense because an obedient woman is a Godly woman. 

Say what you want about Viviana's outfit, but I felt like she was the only expert who was like, "Hold up, this is madness" and tried to talk some sense into Paige!

I think Erik and Virginia will be the first ones to split, post-Decision Day.

 

I think Paige is very attracted Chris (though God knows why).

She seems unable to resist him.

I guess she is really into guys who look like werewolves in ill-fitting suits and have the personality of a dull witted sociopath.  

I think she is religious but that is an excuse for her because even she knows that there is no reason why she should be with this fool...which makes her an even bigger fool.

I agree with the poster that said Chris's new found appreciation for Paige probably stems from some sort of financial trouble and the need to prolong his 15 minutes of fame or he needs some of her steady paychecks.

 

Edited by qtpye
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1 hour ago, humbleopinion said:

Lipstick wise she will hue down once she is off teevee

How about the hair with root rot?  What's up with that? 

How she didn't arrange for a "touch up" for the big finale shows me that either she thinks the "skunk look" is "in" or she's ignorant to the fact of what a "trashy" appearance she gives by ignoring the obvious need she has to keep her hair color treated almost constantly.  With such a drastic difference between her natural locks and he color she chooses to wear, that's a responsibility she has to achieve a well-groomed look.  This is not brain surgery!

I think this omission was more glaring in light of the rave reviews she got for her choice of a dress.  However, upon reflection, I'm wondering if she thought she was more "in tune" with the "clown look Ryan" achieved by adding her own visual "irritant" to her ensemble? 

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I'm not into Clara's style either- the hair root rot with distressed daisy dukes, long fake lashes, halter tops and exposed bra straps with some overlined wet n' wild lip gloss all come off as kind of trashy and juvenile to me.  I think that the false lashes and Fashion Nova type dresses on this season's women look  showy and cheap.  I think the only show I've consistently liked for hair, makeup, outfits would hands down be The Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise.  The women all do their own makeup/hair/nails/outfits and really have a steady hand and eye for colors that suit them in dress and makeup.  The girls on MAFS would greatly benefit from the classic book "Color Me Beautiful". 

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20 minutes ago, pdlinda said:

think this omission was more glaring in light of the rave reviews she got for her choice of a dress

Salmon is a bad color choice, even for a salmon. And those cape sleeves are totally unattractive. Does Clara own a mirror?

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Well, it's a good thing there was no Milgram electroshock setup because I would have had the taser button taped down, trying to knock some sense into Paige.

 

Those "experts" really blew it with her because they'd have had a big win if they'd just yoked her up with someone a notch short of Pathological Abuser.

 

And why did the entrepreneur keep pairing his high waters with a gigantic brooch and no socks?

 

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6 minutes ago, candall said:

Well, it's a good thing there was no Milgram electroshock setup because I would have had the taser button taped down, trying to knock some sense into Paige.

 

Those "experts" really blew it with her because they'd have had a big win if they'd just yoked her up with someone a notch short of Pathological Abuser.

 

And why did the entrepreneur keep pairing his high waters with a gigantic brooch and no socks?

 

Because he wanted to show off Grandma's brooch so we all don't realize he only owns two suits (neither one fits properly).

He can't afford socks now that he has to pay the lease payments on Mercedes' Mercedes. 

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50 minutes ago, qtpye said:

Because he wanted to show off Grandma's brooch so we all don't realize he only owns two suits (neither one fits properly).

He can't afford socks now that he has to pay the lease payments on Mercedes' Mercedes. 

I am amending my prior comment.  The worst thing anyone wore were Chris's ripped black cropped "jeggings" which he donned for the barbecue.  Utterly ridiculous!!

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3 hours ago, pdlinda said:

The whole reason I pay the staggering fee for cable is so I can DVR everything and not wind up in an insane asylum having to endure those banks of commercials.

Yo 😁

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Aw.  I thought Clara looked great.  As a fellow salon-blonde, roots are a given. I felt for her and her hair then. Hair grows fast and touch ups are every 4 weeks for me.  I don’t  think she looks trashy. I thought she looked beautiful on d day. It kind of bothers me that some here think that roots showing is trashy.  Everyone who colors has roots that grow and show.  
I’m 50 and have some dark roots and some grey roots.  So I guess I’m trashy lol. 
 

Edited by Meowwww
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14 hours ago, Booger666 said:

Regarding the pink ring Erik gave VA.  It looked like a silicon ring.  Lots of active people wear them because they don’t hurt if they get caught on anything.  I noticed Erik wore one all season.  Perhaps VA liked his and asked him to get her one.

He got her ring at Academy!😂

 

13 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

5. Why is it so important to Haley that Jake "learned something" during the marriage?

And you know he only says No to spite her.

At the backyard get-together, Chris started saying what he learned and the camera panned to Hayley...as her eyes twinkled. (That last part might have been my imagination.)

 

11 hours ago, Devvie said:

Chris was NOT crying.  He makes the sounds and puts his head down because there are no tears. 

Victim noises, IYKYK.

 

 

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14 minutes ago, Meowwww said:

Aw.  I thought Clara looked great.  As a fellow salon-blonde, roots are a given. I felt for her and her hair then. Hair grows fast and touch ups are every 4 weeks for me.  I don’t  think she looks trashy. I thought she looked beautiful on d day. It kind of bothers me that some here think that roots showing is trashy.  Everyone who colors has roots that grow and show.  
I’m 50 and have some dark roots and some grey roots.  So I guess I’m trashy lol. 
 

You're not trashy at all! I think that what I meant was that there's too much of a stark contrast between Clara's platinum blonde dyed hair and her inch or so growth of  very dark brown roots.  I think her complexion would be much better suited to a dark blonde or a chestnut brown so that grow out wouldn't be as noticeable.  Clara's hair is overly processed and fragile from all of the color processing and she could benefit from returning to her natural color and doing a temporary demi glaze dye at most thereafter.  Roots happen, but I think if Clara is going to lift her color to so many shades lighter than her natural color, then she needs it professionally done with care and on a set schedule.  

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6 hours ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

Salmon is a bad color choice, even for a salmon. And those cape sleeves are totally unattractive. Does Clara own a mirror?

She needs two mirrors--one to see how she looks from the back, so maybe she'd do something about the bulges from her bra back there.

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On 5/12/2021 at 7:04 PM, LennieBriscoe said:

I'll  be honest witch you, Chris belonged on "MAFS: The Unwatchables."

So did Hayley.  Forever a bridesmaid indeed.

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I wouldn't be surprised if between the filming of the weddings and decision day that Chris' "empire" fell apart financially and he realized how much he needed the money from this show (and from Paige).  Maybe he was trying to get another show/season by his 'lack of decision' and very intentional play for Paige to come back to him.  He does think he is a great manipulator (IMO) and perhaps he thinks he can get additional air time and money from the producers (and Paige).

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1 hour ago, seacliffsal said:

I wouldn't be surprised if between the filming of the weddings and decision day that Chris' "empire" fell apart financially and he realized how much he needed the money from this show (and from Paige).  Maybe he was trying to get another show/season by his 'lack of decision' and very intentional play for Paige to come back to him.  He does think he is a great manipulator (IMO) and perhaps he thinks he can get additional air time and money from the producers (and Paige).

I clocked his train wreck like that too, he shows up at the 11th hour, cries about his missed opportunity with Paige as in "uh oh, I better get some money from TLC"  and Paige the smiling village idiot is too stupid to know that she is being played.  

Maybe next season there will be a change in the experts or at least experts that will call out the BS when it happens.

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I think some of them agreed to stay married because it looks good for tv and they don’t want to admit that they can’t make it work. It’s easier to break up without cameras on you. I do not believe for a hot minute that a lot of these couples will stay together. 

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6 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

She needs two mirrors--one to see how she looks from the back, so maybe she'd do something about the bulges from her bra back there.

Ok, sorry but this just called for it. 😂

 

tenor.gif

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I was kind of put off and surprised by how Ryan referred to himself multiple times in third person when telling Clara his decision: "What works for Ryan, what Ryan wants" etc.  But then again, he doesn't necessarily put others before himself in the bedroom  either 😒.

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I thought Paige's talking head after her "final" decision was close to who I hope she really is. I thought she was the clear eyed and realistic accountant assessing the profit and loss statement and writing off the whole experience with Chris as unretrievable sunken costs.  Any apologies from him are an attempt to improve his position but don't affect the bottom line of the failed enterprise.   Write it off and move on.

But what was in the box in the last scene?  It was obviously empty when they left. Did he bring cupcakes for the group? 

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23 hours ago, psychoticstate said:

Episode MVP is very clearly Dr. V, who SO ISN'T HERE for any of Chris's revisionist, con artist, whispery, fake crying bullshit.  She also wasn't here for any of Paige's woe-is-me, so wanting to continue to be Chris's victim nonsense.  

So let's start with these two twats.  Why were they even present on Decision Day?  Wasn't their decision day like a month ago?  Actually, wasn't it pretty much when Chris decided Paige was too ugly for him and he took off for Chicago from Vegas?  

Anyway, did Chris inflict himself on us only so that we could hear that Mercedes's fake pregnancy ended in a fake miscarriage and he could fake cry on tv and have a fake panic attack and then fuck with Paige all over again because Paige showed up looking good and happy?  And Paige, who needs therapy more than any person I've ever seen on my tv, thinks Chris has turned some corner and now she's doubting her decision to divorce (again).  Girl, the only corner Chris is turning is the corner of Let Me Fuck You Over and How Stupid Are You.  

Honestly, I'm not surprised this fuckery went on for 6 hours since Chris has a limitless capacity for bullshit and Paige has a limitless capacity for being dumped on.  

Moving on.  Clara looks great and is still under the non-dickmatized delusion that she and Ryan have the best marriage EVAH so of course she says yes.  Ryan, looking like some Howdy Doody like ventriloquist's dummy with that ridiculous bow tie (which was nearly bigger than his head), has an expression that I assume I would have should I ever encounter someone in the woods wearing a potato sack over their head and carrying a bloody kitchen utensil.  He does not look happy.  He stutters all over himself before saying that sure, yeah, he wants to stay married too.  The experts pop the champagne -- maybe because they all need to get drunk (I know I do after watching this episode.)

Jake and Haley are basically a waste of time, other than Haley wearing her "fuck you" outfit and Jake wearing his "I see through your bullshit" glasses.  Jake looks nice but I'm not going to lie.  Part of me was wishing he had worn a neon 80s style shirt just to mess with Haley.  And maybe some tennis shoes for once.  Ha.  No exposition is necessary to know Haley's decision because girlfriend can't even be bothered to wear her wedding ring to decision day.  

Haley tries again to get on our good sides by pointing out how much work she did in the marriage -- I mean, I'm sure it took time, y'all, to call her mother in 'Bama to get the bracelet back -- and even conceded that their wedding night was fun.  But she can't help herself and she has to make her stupid faces and eye gestures when Jake is making his statement for pain and suffering.  

So both say no, to the relief of us and the experts, and then exit stage left with Jake not even holding the door open for Haley.  Ha ha.

So we already know what EriK's decision is going to be.  He pretty much told us two weeks ago.  So drunken antics, allergies and 50 animals in bed with him and Virginia be damned, that boy wants to be married that badly.  He's sweating bullets though because he honestly has no idea what Virginia is going to say.  Neither do we, EriK.  That's how drunks roll.  

EriK not only says yes but he "proposes" to Virginia with what looks like a Jelly ring.  It is red or orange to remind Virginia to phone home?  Or at least call an Uber when she's preparing to pass out drunk on a friend's sofa?  

So Virginia is practically chewing her lip off and will soon start on her chin if the experts don't press her for a decision (did she miss breakfast?).  She fairly quickly and irrationally says yes and then is super happy because that means that bottle of champagne is going to get opened!  EriK is thrilled and happy at the prospect of being a lifetime designated driver.  

Brianna and Vincent.  Brianna is dressed to kill and Vinny looks like Vinny.  Both of them start out by saying what annoyed the shit out of them about the other.  Bri is a strong woman and nobody is going to put her in a corner, even if they are a good dog daddy and are teaching her Spanish.  Vinny doesn't like Bri's tone (but he probably likes her paychecks.)  So even after not liking that Vinny doesn't like her strong personality, Bri decides she likes who she's becoming with Vinny and her answer is yes.  Vinny has something to say to her before he makes his decision and it's a cheesecake proposal, with the cheesecake under his seat (hidden probably because Vinny is scared of cheesecake, since he's scared of everything else).  Bri says she'd rather have a cheesecake than a ring (girl, we need to talk) and everyone is happy.

So there's still something like 15 minutes left to the episode, even with the ridiculous amount of commercials.  It's so the MAFS-ers can meet up for us one more time.  Haley brings Sophie as her "date," but we can all see that Sophie would rather be with Jake.  Jake sits pretty much as far away from Haley as he can and still technically be on camera, counting down the seconds before freedom.   No one really asks what their decisions were because DUH.  I mean, Bri asks Sophie but Sophie has the good sense to say nothing.

Paige shows up solo and tells everyone that she and Chris are getting a divorce (DUH part 2.)   She tries to explain some of the outright lies Chris was feeding her, about how she was the best thing he never had, and Virginia wants to know what in the sweet hell she' talking about (because drunks have no filter).   Paige puts on her little girl voice and says it's Chris's place to spill what he's already spilled on camera and the rest of the group look anywhere but at Paige and drink.  

Then Chris shows up and everyone looks surprised.  Someone must have invited him - or told him he couldn't collect his paycheck unless he showed.  He's still on his Apology Tour of 2021 and apologizes to everyone present for subjecting himself on them during the season.   EriK shakes his hand (wash it later, EriK.  20 seconds) and Clara slams a bottle of beer versus actually having to make eye contact with that male Succubus.  

Chris congratulates all the couples who didn't get their exes pregnant (fake) and bail on their new spouse at the airport and says he really wishes he could turn back time and move into the apartment with Paige.  I'm sure the "experts" wish they could turn back time and boot your sorry ass out of the auditions, Chris.  

So everyone gets up to leave and, of course, Paige and Chris are all smiley with each other and leave somewhat together.  Because Paige is glutton for punishment who will never learn.

The only thing I want to know is if Chris got that new Benz back once his baby mama wasn't going to be his baby mama. 

Reunion is next week and I frankly hope we will see Jake let loose on Haley.       

Fire the three “Experts” and YOU take their seat !  You have everyone down pat.

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25 minutes ago, Hangin Out said:

Fire the three “Experts” and YOU take their seat !  You have everyone down pat.

or anyone else on this board.  we could all do a better job.

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40 minutes ago, OlderThanDirt said:

But what was in the box in the last scene?  It was obviously empty when they left. Did he bring cupcakes for the group? 

Seriously! Wonder why they edited that out. 

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6 minutes ago, bichonblitz said:

Seriously! Wonder why they edited that out. 

maybe some specially made tuna rolls from his growing enterprise

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