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S03.E06: Got To Be Real

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Sister wife Roberta gives Garrick an ultimatum. The Snowdens make a decision about their potential sister wife Tayler. The Joneses prefer to meet people in person but set up an online dating profile. Sophie Winder goes into labor!


 

Original air date 2021.04.26

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Anyone else here for this shit show? On a superficial note Dani is much more attractive than Roberta. Nicer body too. 

Edited by sainte-chapelle
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I’m watching, so might as well chat about the shitshow. 

Good to hear that Dannnielle is finally realIzing that she’s not into the polygamy thing.

dmitri: I want to have a deep screw conversation with Tayler.

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I hope Dani walks. I am just sad that she likely will get nothing as the divorce already went through. God didn’t chose this...horny Garrick did...I bet he ghosts the kids too.

Edited by sainte-chapelle
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Dimitri just wants to give everyone the D....he isn’t even trying to hide it. Ashley will put a stop to sex pot Taylor real quick 

Edited by sainte-chapelle
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I’m a little late, but after 90 day last night I’m ready for something good.  Hi guys!

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Oh good...here come walking cultural appropriation Sidein and his cult bride. Oh FFS you don’t collaborate with your kids, you are a parent who raises them.

Edited by sainte-chapelle
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Insipidian is as sketchy as ever. No news there.

Doesn’t Colton seem like a barrel of fun? That banjo would drive me nuts.

The pregnant wife’s mother looks like Gollum.

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Oh dear lord, the banjo.  I cannot stand Colton voice.  His weird monotone is creepy.

Edited by Emmeline
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Man that Taylor is a pushy one. This will not end well. Sophie took a while to get pregnant...are we all sure Tami is the one with fertility issues?

Edited by sainte-chapelle
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dmitri needs to put that schlong away. There’s the special diet, the steam cleaning, the ritual  bath, the praying to the goddesses before he can have sex with Tayler. Or just do it when Ashley is in the other room, a la Garrick and Bert.

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It must be terrible for Tami having fertility issues.  If it was slow going for Sophie too maybe it’s Colton??

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I’d laugh my ass off if Garrick accidentally dropped the phone into the water.

Can someone explain to me what is wrong with jealousy? 

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Hahaha, Garrick gets the shit end of the deal and neither one of the “sisters” stays with him. Oh man. How delicious would that be?

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If I have to hear Garrick say “sister” one more time I’ll vomit.  He seems like a guy that was a dork in high school.

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2 minutes ago, Emmeline said:

He seems like a guy that was a dork in high school.

And is still a gigantic dork.

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10 minutes ago, readheaded said:

It wouldn't hurt my feelings if ex-con April was never on the show again.

Is she an ex-con? I barely remember her.

Tayler “ my things aren’t important “ sure Jan. She wants to be on the tee-vee. Ashley and Tayler will not get along. Ash wants to be the boss bitch. 

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20 minutes ago, Emmeline said:

It must be terrible for Tami having fertility issues.  If it was slow going for Sophie too maybe it’s Colton??

I thought the same thing! I wonder if Sophie will have trouble getting pregnant again.

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I can only hope Garrick gets a sexually transmitted disease from the bombshell.  How can he love someone he can’t even hold a real conversation with?  He just loves the sex.  Boo friggin who. 

Edited by Emmeline
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Ya, I did a little gagging myself while watching this one.  These men, ugh...Ashley better firm her ass up, or Dimitri will be all over bachelorettes 2 and 3.  She looks like she's letting herself go.  Thats prob why she wants the sister wives.  So she won't have to do any menial labor in the home.  The poor kids....it makes me cringe. Garrick 🤢,       Sideon (or whatever) 🤮,        Colton😒,       Dimitri and his hair 👎🏼.       And as for King man? 🙄🙄🙄

Dannielle, get out now.  He's no big loss. You can do lots better. And you are prettier than Berti girl.

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2 minutes ago, Emmeline said:

I can only hope Garrick gets a sexually transmitted disease from the bombshell.  How can he live someone he can’t even hold a real conversation with?  He just loves the sex.  Boo friggin who. 

I agree. I didn't think I could hate him more, but seeing him bawling in the previews made me want to kick him square in the nuts.

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Talk about misdirected anger. Danielle is not only stupid, but she is also delusional.  I can’t believe she called Roberta a liar and blamed her for what was most likely Garrick’s idea.  The irony is that Roberta seems to care about her and her feelings.  Garrick on the other hand, doesn’t seem to give a damn.

Ashley and Dimitri looked terrified when Tayler asked to stay.  I am guessing that wasn’t part of the storyline.  Can’t help but wonder why Tayler is in such a rush to move in.

I have a feeling Tami is pushing for a new wife to spite Sophie. Given how well that worked for Meri Brown on Sister Wives, it’s probably not a good idea. 

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I wonder if Demetrius has that sickness where he wants to have sex all the time and Ashley is tired!

That new ‘D’ list the new wives put together is vigorous and he’s even offering to do extras!

Something is wrong with him. Didn’t Tiger Woods have that over sex drive problem?  Somebody else too but who escapes me right now!

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1 hour ago, Adeejay said:

Talk about misdirected anger. Danielle is not only stupid, but she is also delusional.  I can’t believe she called Roberta a liar and blamed her for what was most likely Garrick’s idea.  The irony is that Roberta seems to care about her and her feelings.  Garrick on the other hand, doesn’t seem to give a damn.

Ashley and Dimitri looked terrified when Tayler asked to stay.  I am guessing that wasn’t part of the storyline.  Can’t help but wonder why Tayler is in such a rush to move in.

I have a feeling Tami is pushing for a new wife to spite Sophie. Given how well that worked for Meri Brown on Sister Wives, it’s probably not a good idea. 

I used to think that but now I feel that Roberta is a snake in the grass. She fakes concern in order to turn Garrick against Dani. She wants the green card and wants Dani gone.

lol yes they did look terrified and I loved it!
 

I kinda hope wife 3 usurps Sophie from her position of top wife. She is so smug and obviously holds all the cards. 

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Why is it Roberta's fault Garrick likes her? I see a lot of posters coming after her looks. Dannielle and Roberta are equals in terms of looks in my opinion. Dannielle seems confident with her body the way she carries herself. She seems very confident almost arrogant about her appearance with the way she walks around. They also look to be the same size. Dannielle looks healthy. I think people are mad that the American man wants the Brazilian girl and not the American plain Jane.

 

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NO NO NO Garlic and Qberta it is not Dannnielle's job to make you not feel guilty about the shit you are doing to her!!!!  Did Bambi's mom tell the hunter "Oh, it's OK.  I just need to get my dying under control?"  No she did not.  What you do is your responsibility, and if what you do makes you ashamed of yourself maybe you should stop doing it.

Garlic, do you not own a fucking TV?  I know you do not own a fucking Bible.  This is not "what happens in a plural relationship" so you shouldn't feel guilty about it.  This is what happens when someone misbehaves and doesn't want to stop misbehaving.

Watch Sister Wives, Garlic.  Hell, watch how the other people on your own fucking show act.

How many times did this asshole assure us that he was blameless because this is what happens in plural relationships?

Oh my god, Dannnnielle, if you don't call me, I'm going to call you. 

 

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1 minute ago, ErikaAlyson said:

Why is it Roberta's fault Garrick likes her? I see a lot of posters coming after her looks. Dannielle and Roberta are equals in terms of looks in my opinion. Dannielle seems confident with her body the way she carries herself. She seems very confident almost arrogant about her appearance with the way she walks around. They also look to be the same size. Dannielle looks healthy. I think people are mad that the American man wants the Brazilian girl and not the American plain Jane.

 

It's Qberta's fault because now that she sees that Dannnielle's pain is obvious to anyone paying attention she has brought out the big guns.  "If Dannnnielle can't get her jealousy under control, I'm going to have to leave."  This is an ultimatum:  her or me.   Qberta's experience on this pre-honeymoon tells her that Garlic prefers her.  She expects Garlic to ditch Dannnnielle or at least to "man up"---she said so herself--and get Dannnnielle in line, or else.  She knows that they are divorced, so she feels the odds are in her favor, and she's probably right.

Of course Garlic weeps over the thought of losing Dannnnielle.  Qberta can't even speak English--how is she going to take over the bookkeeping at his business?

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9 hours ago, Emmeline said:

Oh dear lord, the banjo.  I cannot stand Colton voice.  His weird monotone is creepy.

Yes indeed.  But much as I laugh at the Doody family, they have grown in my estimation.  The rest of these guys--even DIM itri with his 127 IQ--have the worst grammar of anyone seen on TV, including the Beverly Hillbillies.  Not one of these fools knows how to construct a simple "Other Person and I" sentence.  It's all "Me and Other Person did such-and-such."  And forget about tackling the objective case--sometimes in their confusion they actually stumble into a correct construction.  I am not a grammar nazi, and my own is far from perfect.  But this is shit you learn in first grade, if you didn't already know it from the way your family speaks at home.

  Is basic English not taught in grade school anymore?  By contrast, the very conservative Doodys speak well and clearly, and I love them for it.  It must be the LDS-ridden schools.  Joseph Smith don't put up with no incorrect sentence structure.

Howdy also is not looking for glamour in a new wife, and he shares the search with his present wives.  He and they understand what the concept of sister wives is supposed to be about.  Both his present wives are not ugly; wife #1 is pretty cute.  Sophie is already looking washed-out, even before giving birth, and we can predict things to come from the way her poor mother turned out.  His polygamy is, I believe, based on real religious conviction, and I respect that even while I sneer.  The rest of them are in it for the sex; Howdy is in it for his eternal soul.

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1 hour ago, ErikaAlyson said:

Why is it Roberta's fault Garrick likes her? I see a lot of posters coming after her looks. Dannielle and Roberta are equals in terms of looks in my opinion. Dannielle seems confident with her body the way she carries herself. She seems very confident almost arrogant about her appearance with the way she walks around. They also look to be the same size. Dannielle looks healthy. I think people are mad that the American man wants the Brazilian girl and not the American plain Jane.

 

That may be true for some people, but for me, my negative reaction to Bert’s physical appearance has nothing to do her being Brazilian, but Ick’s wholly inaccurate comparisons and descriptions of Bert and Dannielle. Don’t get me wrong, I think both women are attractive and have nice figures, but there just isn’t that much contrast between the 2 to warrant Ick degrading Dannielle. 

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2 hours ago, ErikaAlyson said:

Why is it Roberta's fault Garrick likes her? I see a lot of posters coming after her looks. Dannielle and Roberta are equals in terms of looks in my opinion. Dannielle seems confident with her body the way she carries herself. She seems very confident almost arrogant about her appearance with the way she walks around. They also look to be the same size. Dannielle looks healthy. I think people are mad that the American man wants the Brazilian girl and not the American plain Jane.

 

I’m not American so I don’t care about that. I liked Roberta until she started pushing the “me or Dani” narrative. I feel she is passive aggressive and the fact she wasn’t into polygamy before this is a huge red flag for me. Garrick compares them all the time and degrades Dani and comments on her looks. Roberta isn t exactly bombshell material and strikes me as an opportunist who wants to start a family with only Garrick in the US.  That said Dani is an idiot but I can’t help but feel a bit sorry for her. I think she married a very emotionally manipulative person very young and needs to separate herself from that. Garrick is a gross sex tourist hiding behind polygamy to get his rocks off. 

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12 hours ago, Emmeline said:

Oh dear lord, the banjo. 

  • What do you call a beautiful woman on the arm of a banjo player?
    A tattoo.
  • A true gentleman knows how to play Banjo,
     But doesn't.
  • What's the difference between a banjo and a trampoline?
      People take off their shoes before they jump on a trampoline.

I got a million of 'em, but I'll leave you with this:

image.png.ea32dc091a9fe55f4326b0df17fb749a.png

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2 hours ago, Mothra said:

It's Qberta's fault because now that she sees that Dannnielle's pain is obvious to anyone paying attention she has brought out the big guns.  "If Dannnnielle can't get her jealousy under control, I'm going to have to leave."  This is an ultimatum:  her or me.   Qberta's experience on this pre-honeymoon tells her that Garlic prefers her.  She expects Garlic to ditch Dannnnielle or at least to "man up"---she said so herself--and get Dannnnielle in line, or else.  She knows that they are divorced, so she feels the odds are in her favor, and she's probably right.

Of course Garlic weeps over the thought of losing Dannnnielle.  Qberta can't even speak English--how is she going to take over the bookkeeping at his business?

I believe Ick is crying over losing Bert, not Dani.  He is SOOOOO GROSSSSSS!!!!!!!!  And clearly only one brain there, and it isn't in his head.  He is really not bright.  But as much as I want to join you all in punching this loser (I actually tense up and change body positions when he comes on), I think my pity for Dani is a stronger emotion.  In the preview she says to Ick, "I just want to know that I am enough for you".  No, Dani, you are not.  Clearly.  He wanted to divorce you before and didn't.  Then he found a little loophole called polygamy - "I can divorce her before she even realizes we are breaking up!" - and makes up his own rules for polygamy.  Girl, take the next train home, report Ick to the immigration authorities and get back in that courtroom and take him for EVERYTHING.  Then take your still nice, still young body and find some guy who is thrilled to have a brainless wife.  

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11 minutes ago, Opine said:

I believe Ick is crying over losing Bert, not Dani.  He is SOOOOO GROSSSSSS!!!!!!!!  And clearly only one brain there, and it isn't in his head.  He is really not bright.  But as much as I want to join you all in punching this loser (I actually tense up and change body positions when he comes on), I think my pity for Dani is a stronger emotion.  In the preview she says to Ick, "I just want to know that I am enough for you".  No, Dani, you are not.  Clearly.  He wanted to divorce you before and didn't.  Then he found a little loophole called polygamy - "I can divorce her before she even realizes we are breaking up!" - and makes up his own rules for polygamy.  Girl, take the next train home, report Ick to the immigration authorities and get back in that courtroom and take him for EVERYTHING.  Then take your still nice, still young body and find some guy who is thrilled to have a brainless wife.  

Oh, you're right--he's crying at the thought of losing that hot Brazilian cooze.  But I think, somewhere in that reptilian mind of his (and I think he is reptilian:  he doesn't blink, just like a snake or a lizard, and he breathes through his mouth, like a resting coral snake) it has dawned on him that he needs Dannnnnielle in his life, if only to keep it running smoothly while he grouses in the goody.  She does run the office for his (their?  That could be an interesting sideshow in the division of assets) business, and truly a woman who cannot speak the language isn't going to be able to step right into that role, not to mention the other details of running a household.

I would pity Dannnnielle more--she's obviously the victim--if she weren't so goddam stupid.  This triad constitutes some of the stupidest people I've ever seen on TV, and I watch Love After Lockup.  Do you think she truly loves Garlic so much that all this is as devastating as it seems to be, or is she just afraid of facing life on her own?  And I agree with you that she is very good-looking and fit (thank you Thigh Master) and wouldn't have to be on her own for very long.  Plus she has mad office management skills.

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10 hours ago, sainte-chapelle said:

I used to think that but now I feel that Roberta is a snake in the grass. She fakes concern in order to turn Garrick against Dani. She wants the green card and wants Dani gone.

I agree, Roberta is a complete fake. She basically said she wants Garrick to straighten Dani out and get her to accept things or she is gone all while she rubs his leg.  The remark about her wearing the life vest and calling her Love all the time was sickening.   He looked like a little boy crying over a toy when they were saying goodbye to Bert,  if I were Dani, I would have laughed in his face.  What a jerk.    

I hope Colton looks at Sophie’s mom and sees what’s in his future.  Thought it was weird that Sophie was in labor but it was Colton’s night to be with Tami, so he was not with her at the beginning until they called him.  Just adjust the dam schedule.  These people are very strange.  

 

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I had to laugh watching Garlic crying over Roberta leaving. Now he’s got to be nice to Danielle again, but I’ll bet he’ll pretend he’s in a deep depression so she has to run the house and the business on her own. I truly hope she leaves his sorry ass since they’re divorced anyhow, and Roberta decides she’s not just in it for this tool. He deserves to be alone, it will give him more time to interpret the Bible.

Doody and his banjo was just too much. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a less sexy person, unless you count his Meth-in-Law.

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1 minute ago, vintagesac said:

. . . and Roberta decides she’s not just in it for his tool.

Slight edit on the 10th word.

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6 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

Slight edit on the 10th word.

I doubt it, sounds like he’s a two-pump-chump 🤣

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2 hours ago, Opine said:

I believe Ick is crying over losing Bert, not Dani.  He is SOOOOO GROSSSSSS!!!!!!!!  And clearly only one brain there, and it isn't in his head.  He is really not bright.  But as much as I want to join you all in punching this loser (I actually tense up and change body positions when he comes on), I think my pity for Dani is a stronger emotion.  In the preview she says to Ick, "I just want to know that I am enough for you".  No, Dani, you are not.  Clearly.  He wanted to divorce you before and didn't.  Then he found a little loophole called polygamy - "I can divorce her before she even realizes we are breaking up!" - and makes up his own rules for polygamy.  Girl, take the next train home, report Ick to the immigration authorities and get back in that courtroom and take him for EVERYTHING.  Then take your still nice, still young body and find some guy who is thrilled to have a brainless wife.  

Surely Danielle had everything put in her name when they divorced...right???

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1 hour ago, LucyEth said:

I agree, Roberta is a complete fake. She basically said she wants Garrick to straighten Dani out and get her to accept things or she is gone all while she rubs his leg.  The remark about her wearing the life vest and calling her Love all the time was sickening.   He looked like a little boy crying over a toy when they were saying goodbye to Bert,  if I were Dani, I would have laughed in his face.  What a jerk.    

I hope Colton looks at Sophie’s mom and sees what’s in his future.  Thought it was weird that Sophie was in labor but it was Colton’s night to be with Tami, so he was not with her at the beginning until they called him.  Just adjust the dam schedule.  These people are very strange.  

 

I couldn't believe it either!  Wife in labor and he's getting it on with Sister Wife!

Then mom has to go knock on the door to get him to take pregnant wife to the hospital!

Polygamy hell!

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14 hours ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

Hahaha, Garrick gets the shit end of the deal and neither one of the “sisters” stays with him. Oh man. How delicious would that be?

I would actually pay real American money to see that. Especially if Dani and Bert run off together and start a wedding planning business. 

14 hours ago, Emmeline said:

If I have to hear Garrick say “sister” one more time I’ll vomit.  He seems like a guy that was a dork in high school.

He's still a fucking dork. He's such a whiny crybaby and his cloaking his slavering horniness in "religion" makes me sick.

5 hours ago, Mothra said:

NO NO NO Garlic and Qberta it is not Dannnielle's job to make you not feel guilty about the shit you are doing to her!!!!  Did Bambi's mom tell the hunter "Oh, it's OK.  I just need to get my dying under control?"  No she did not.  What you do is your responsibility, and if what you do makes you ashamed of yourself maybe you should stop doing it.

Garlic, do you not own a fucking TV?  I know you do not own a fucking Bible.  This is not "what happens in a plural relationship" so you shouldn't feel guilty about it.  This is what happens when someone misbehaves and doesn't want to stop misbehaving.

Watch Sister Wives, Garlic.  Hell, watch how the other people on your own fucking show act.

How many times did this asshole assure us that he was blameless because this is what happens in plural relationships?

Oh my god, Dannnnielle, if you don't call me, I'm going to call you. 

 

Swing by and pick me up, @Mothra, we'll go and save poor dumb Danielle from herself. 

The "jealousy" and "insecurity" the women experience is always painted as the worst possible sin they can commit. I keep yelling "Its because your husband is banging another woman! Your feelings are perfectly valid!" at my TV. 

These stupid, bovine women who moo about how "tough" polygamy is are surpassed only by the asshole men who whine about how hard it is for them. Dude. 

2 hours ago, Mothra said:

I would pity Dannnnielle more--she's obviously the victim--if she weren't so goddam stupid.  This triad constitutes some of the stupidest people I've ever seen on TV, and I watch Love After Lockup.  Do you think she truly loves Garlic so much that all this is as devastating as it seems to be, or is she just afraid of facing life on her own?  And I agree with you that she is very good-looking and fit (thank you Thigh Master) and wouldn't have to be on her own for very long.  Plus she has mad office management skills.

She walked into this stupid, stupid arrangement with her eyes wide open. WHY.

Howdy Doody playing the banjo finished me. I love Pete Seeger so I don't object to the banjo per se. But Howdy playing "O Susanna"? Oh sweet little tap dancing baby Jesus, I cannot even.

Any woman who looks at a woman who's been living polygamy for all her life, sees the prematurely aged faces, toothlessness, worn hands and ratty hair, and says "Yes, that's the life for me!" needs her head examined. 

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15 hours ago, Emmeline said:

It must be terrible for Tami having fertility issues.  If it was slow going for Sophie too maybe it’s Colton??

Good point, something like 50% of fertility issues are due to the guy. It could easily be a sperm quality issue if both Sophie and Tami have had either primary or secondary infertility. I wonder if Colton would consent to treatment or testing for that or if he’d consider it a “sin” to collect the sample? Lol. 

Edited by ReadMeLattice
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14 hours ago, Adeejay said:

Talk about misdirected anger. Danielle is not only stupid, but she is also delusional.  I can’t believe she called Roberta a liar and blamed her for what was most likely Garrick’s idea.  The irony is that Roberta seems to care about her and her feelings.  Garrick on the other hand, doesn’t seem to give a damn.

Ashley and Dimitri looked terrified when Tayler asked to stay.  I am guessing that wasn’t part of the storyline.  Can’t help but wonder why Tayler is in such a rush to move in.

I have a feeling Tami is pushing for a new wife to spite Sophie. Given how well that worked for Meri Brown on Sister Wives, it’s probably not a good idea. 

Yeah, I try really hard to feel bad for Dannielle because Garrick is just such an absolute manipulative loser. But she willingly got a divorce to keep him AND is pulling the classic “the woman is at fault” - he’s your husband of over 10 years and the father of your two kids who dragged you down to Mexico so he could fuck a stranger and you could vacation alone. She’s a random lady you met once before who can’t actually communicate with you in English. You can’t even know what she really said with that stupid translator. I’m not saying Roberta is an angel, but how on earth is she the main one at fault?! She’s been told she’s Garrick’s wife, of course she’s going to want to have sex with him. And she seems about as dumb as Dannielle; sure, she might want a green card, but damn, there are easier ways to get a visa than all this. 
 

I’m sorry, but you can see how Dannielle has gotten dragged into this — she doesn’t seem to have a shred of dignity. Maybe it’s from Garrick beating it out of her (metaphorically), idk, but it’s infuriating to watch. 

Edited by ReadMeLattice
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1 hour ago, Jeanne222 said:

I couldn't believe it either!  Wife in labor and he's getting it on with Sister Wife!

He wants to be the new Kody Brown.  Barf.

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I don't know why, but I just think of Bert as a homewrecker. It is so obvious that Dani does not want to do this. I know it is completely up to Garrick but I still put part of the blame on Bert. It makes me hate her.

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