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S22.E07: Jake

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Jake moved to Las Vegas to work on a US Senator's re-election campaign. When he came out as gay, he was rebuffed by family and colleagues, plunging him into a deep depression he masks with alcohol.

Original air date 2021.04.26

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This episode made so sad. I think the ones with alcoholism always do because it's one of the easier addictions to practice out in the open, especially if you're in a party-centric place. 

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I cried for Jake when he relapsed and ended communication with the show.  No one should have to live through such a sad life, from start to his inevitable early finish.  😢

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I was sad but not surprised when Jake was shunned when he came out. He clearly came from a conservative background (when he said "small town PA," I knew what was up, and then they talked about the candidates he supported), and I wasn't surprised that that space wouldn't have anything to do with him. When he said "my family hates me," it broke my heart. I never want to know what that feels like.

When Jake said he drinks 9-22 drinks, my eyes bugged out. I haven't binge-drank or been drunk in years and even when I was in college and would get drunk on nights out, I don't think I drank 9 drinks. And Jake appeared to be pretty small! My eyes also bugged out when he said he was $250K in medical debt.

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I worked as a bartender for a short time and the management couldn't not stress enough that we were never, ever to serve a patron who was already obviously intoxicated. I realize this is Vegas we're talking about, but I thought that was a pretty universal rule.

This poor guy is going to be leaving Las Vegas soon and that is so sad.

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I can’t even imagine being adopted out of an orphanage in Siberia as a baby and then rejected by your adoptive family at 11. It’s not like a pair of shoes you can take back or leave by a trash can. His wackadoo mom who adopted a bunch of random kids and then cut off the two youngest, and didn’t protect them from the predatory older sibling...no wonder he felt like a worthless piece of shit. And he would never find a home in the narrow, conservative political world he tried to fit into.

I just felt so sad for him.

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I thought it was very interesting point too they  made about how a lot of people move to Las Vegas and don't have a support system to help navigate stuff. I never thought about that. Also, they were a little fuzzier on the "How does he make his money to afford alcohol" than they usually are on this show. But maybe they wanted to be a little lighter on him given how everything played out.

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This was a very sad one to watch. I'm surprised he was released so quickly after his suicidal ideations but I guess the doctors have to believe someone when they say "I was just drunk, I didn't mean anything by it." But Leticia and his friends knew that this was becoming an increasing problem. Jake is so sad, I think he just is hoping that he'll pass out one time and not wake up. 

I know someone right now who seems to be like Jake: no hope, completely overwhelmed, scared of trying to start over again and not wanting to stop drinking. But refuses help and insists they don't have a problem. Jake mentioned his blood alcohol was 4 times the legal limit. The person I know has been up to 6 times the legal limit.

Unless addressed, alcoholism is a fatal disease, be it by organ failure, alcohol poisoning, car crash, fall and hit head, seizures from long time use, dementia, whatever. Very sad. 

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I hate these religious couples who collect adopted kids, which they do to demonstrate their piety and show off (and possibly collect benefits), only to indoctrinate them while failing to take care of them. It happens a lot.

Jake's adopted mother probably has severe mental illness, and I suspect she married because it was the thing to do in her religious community. She tried to follow the religious party line and then bailed, unable to handle that in the right way. (Not excusing her loathsome behavior, just pondering how it happened)

And both parents ignored the bullying sibling.

Jake is too sick to think coherently and want a better life. Maybe someone from his small circle of trust will convince him otherwise and he'll try again. Meanwhile, since he was evicted, I wonder if he's joined the Vegas homeless community. He may be tricking for income and at great physical risk.

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On 4/27/2021 at 6:46 PM, BloggerAloud said:

I thought it was very interesting point too they  made about how a lot of people move to Las Vegas and don't have a support system to help navigate stuff. I never thought about that. Also, they were a little fuzzier on the "How does he make his money to afford alcohol" than they usually are on this show. But maybe they wanted to be a little lighter on him given how everything played out.

My daughter pointed out that he had what looked like a "cam boy" set up in his apartment, so he may have been making money that way. 

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I've worked with so many kids who have developmental trauma from being adopted from places like Jake and I just knew that he wasn't going to make it. I knew from the moment his dad said he was "poorly behaved". Ok...behavior serves a purpose. Kids don't misbehave for no reason. He likely has a lot of developmental trauma from the orphanage and then his older sibling abusing him just caused more. This poor kid has been rejected in every way: his birth parents, his adopted siblings, his adopted parents, his political party that he deeply believed in...of course he wants to die. He already feels like he isn't worthy of love. And he couldn't even trust the love from them at the intervention, because it was too little, too late. His skepticism at the rehab really sealed the deal for me. He has no reason to trust anyone, he certainly isn't going to let go and trust the process of getting help. That poor kid. 

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On 4/27/2021 at 3:02 PM, Supagirl said:

I can’t even imagine being adopted out of an orphanage in Siberia as a baby and then rejected by your adoptive family at 11. It’s not like a pair of shoes you can take back or leave by a trash can. His wackadoo mom who adopted a bunch of random kids and then cut off the two youngest, and didn’t protect them from the predatory older sibling...no wonder he felt like a worthless piece of shit. And he would never find a home in the narrow, conservative political world he tried to fit into.

I just felt so sad for him.

It’s unimaginably heartbreaking. I once had a student who’d been adopted at age four from somewhere in New Mexico. When she was about ten, her parents had a biological child, and things then went haywire, apparently. My student was odd and hard to predict, difficult to handle,  and parents had been trying to send her back to New Mexico for a while. There was something about turning age 12 that allowed that, and one day in the middle of the year, she just never came back. Our teaching team tried to find out where she was, with no success, and I have no idea what happened to her. I’m afraid that rejection must have crushed her. People are so hard to understand. These were highly educated professionals, unusual in our rather rural desert community. Just so sad. 

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19 hours ago, Calamity Jane said:

It’s unimaginably heartbreaking. I once had a student who’d been adopted at age four from somewhere in New Mexico. When she was about ten, her parents had a biological child, and things then went haywire, apparently. My student was odd and hard to predict, difficult to handle,  and parents had been trying to send her back to New Mexico for a while. There was something about turning age 12 that allowed that, and one day in the middle of the year, she just never came back. Our teaching team tried to find out where she was, with no success, and I have no idea what happened to her. I’m afraid that rejection must have crushed her. People are so hard to understand. These were highly educated professionals, unusual in our rather rural desert community. Just so sad. 

This is so sad. When adoptive parents reject the adopted child once they have a biological one, it makes me think they never saw the adopted child as their own and apart of their family in the first place. 
 

I felt terrible for Jake. He needed a complete redo from the very beginning, but of course that’s impossible and not how life works. In addition to all the rejection he encountered, I’m sure the fact that he is gay and was raised with conservative beliefs and hold those beliefs strongly within himself, creates a lot of mental conflict within him. Sadly, with all he’s endured which has resulted in his trust level being in the negative I don’t know if he’ll ever get his life on track. The drinking provides him with a reality that’s way more appealing than real life. 

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Sad. I'm am surprised the rehab facility kicked him out for not following the rules (which I assume means he got ahold of alcohol). I guess they have to, but he was probably acting out, even trying to get them to give up on him, too. That kind of testing is common with his background of abandonment and being shuffled around. I thinking he needed SERIOUS psychiatric help. 

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