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S01.E03: Gone Smooth


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Episode Synopsis:

Eph and Nora fight to save Captain Redfern's life before coming face-to-face with the horrifying effects of the virus. A spike in rat attacks signals Fet that something inexplicable is happening deep below the city. Released from jail, Setrakian begins his own merciless plan to stop the spread of the disease.

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Well, Fet just passed Abraham as my favorite character. These two gotta meet. The CDC folks are either corrupted or ineffectual, so far. One would hope they see the light now.

I don't understand why Eichorn killed the Regis CEO. With the bodies disappearing, that cover story is already falling apart.

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Well finally the CDC has a clue! They've made some progress. Now they should know this isn't your everyday virus and find Setrakian for some answers. But every time I see Setrakian, I think of Javert  singing 24601....

Was the family drama in the book? I'm tired of it. I hope it has something to do with the storyline and not something extraneous just as a filler. 

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(edited)

The rock star's penis falls off while he's urinating (is that what fell into the toilet while he was peeing?) and he doesn't run off screaming for a hospital somewhere? I couldn't buy that at all.

The vampire child hiding in the dark was creepy.

Glad the CDC folks finally faced the reality, literally of what they're dealing with. I'm not sure why the CDC guy's family drama is so important. I'm thinking either the kid or the ex-wife will end up being infected at some point.

Just caught up on all the episodes for this show. There's plenty of stupidness on this show, but that seems to be par for the course for most new shows this summer. Still this show is more entertaining than most stuff that's on right now.

Edited by Enero
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(edited)

First, I bet they had to film the final scene at least 10 times to get Corey Stoll's wig to stay on. The final shot of the wig gone awry encapsulated just about everything wrong with this show.

 

And frankly, all these people deserve to be eaten.The wife sees that the husband is very ill and instead of insisting that he go to the hospital she tells him to go to bed. Even Nora just stands there near the pilot instead of getting away from his body.

 

I would say that the CDC would never be as incompetent as portrayed in the show, but after the recent real life disclosures about their negligence with anthrax, etc. I suppose anything is possible.

 

I cannot believe that an amazing actor like Regina King is merely an afterthought on show. She should be one of the members of the CDC team, maybe their boss.

 

The drama of the guy's penis falling off fell completely flat when they did not show it in the toilet bowl.

Edited by SimoneS
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Setrakian is set on destroying the vampires and the CDC lady comes to him and says tell us what you know, we want to help and he blows her off? That makes no sense.

The rockstar is peeing and we hear one thing drop into the toilet and suddenly he has no penis and testicles? Not one guy doing the sound editing thought, nope, that's not right?

Corey's wig was practically sideways so no need to reshoot that either. My hair spins 90 degrees in either direction too.

 

The scene with the little french girl was good and creepy as was the Dad drinking blood from the steak. The knock-off Christoph Waltz vampire has the potential for serious menace and I love Fet. This show has some promise but the plot holes, the mistakes, the poor writing are all dragging it down. Even if you ignore the ex-wife and the kid, the actual vampire plot is full of cliches and crappy dialogue. Of course Sean Astin's wife has cancer and he betrayed humanity to try to help her. "You work for two bosses now" or whatever that line was, not necessary. Anyone with two brain cells to rub together had already inferred that from the dialogue before. Of course, no one wants to go to the hospital. The rockstar had a point that he'd end up on TMZ but the wife can see that her husband is unwell but she needs him at home so don't seek out medical assistance. Corey finds a tub of blood in one of the survivors homes so lets forget that happened for the rest of the show. I haven't read the books and I don't know if they are good or bad, but this isn't good. 

 

That being said, if next week they're all "Those are vampires!" and "I know my Bran Stoker!" and "Burn this body right away!" I could come around. These heroes need to get smarter otherwise its dull and frustrating.

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The rock star's penis falls off while he's urinating (is that what fell into the toilet while he was peeing?) and he doesn't run off screaming for a hospital somewhere? I couldn't buy that at all.

 

I'm going under the assumption that he has thoroughly transitioned to whatever the infected people become, so just like the guy who put his face on at the beginning of the episode he's fine with his appearance, only adapting when necessary to convince the un-infected that he is normal.

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Without his make-up and prosthetics, that Eichorst dude really looks like Lord Voldermort!  And, hey, he even has a wig that looks better then Cory Stoll's!

 

Ah, so Sean Astin's character has the whole "My wife has cancer!" story-line, to justify his not so nice actions, and show that he really isn't a "bad" guy, just a guy doing something bad for love!  Yippee!

 

All the stuff with Abraham was easily my favorite.  David Bradley is so much fun to watch.  Now that he's got the passenger list, I'm sure even more fun times are too be had.  And, I automatically like his hacker buddy, since apparently she did it all for a Playstation 4.  Good choice!

 

Fet/Kevin Durand is also fun, but I'm still wondering what his is part going to be in all of this.

 

Man, is all the stuff involving Ephraim and his family boring.  I came here for zombies and blood; not custody battles and precious little kids.

 

So, the rocker guy is infected up to the point that his penis falls off, and he doesn't care?  Yeah, alrighty, then.  As for the other guy, the fact that he is clearly sick, and his wife isn't, I don't know, calling the fucking police, is just so stupid.  If she dies because of this, she's got no one to blame but herself.

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(edited)

I'm about to get super-geeky to point out a continuity problem.

 

In the books, due to the loss of lung tissue, vocal cords, and the growth of what appears to be the Alien tongue in the throat, the vampires cannot speak. The more experienced ones learn to simulate speech by lip-synching to their telepathic abilities.

 

In this weeks opener, the head corporate vampire guy IS TALKING TO HIMSELF.

Edited by SilverStormm
Please spoiler tag book talk.
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DVRing improves this show somewhat because you can FF through the family scenes. This is so plodding and the CDC people, and everybody else, is so slow on the uptake you can watch it at 2X and lose nothing.

 

It's funny that they are so specific about the address of each scene when it's filmed 500 miles away. I've been trying to catch signs of Toronto without luck so far. Toronto is helpfully generic. They do a good job keeping the exterior shots tight. I think I spotted a message "centre" sign.

 

I like Setrakian and the rat guy. Everybody else is a moron. You look like death--maybe you should go back to bed!

 

Or the classic how do you feel, you don't look so good. I'm fine! Why do people who are obviously very sick say they are fine? Tired tropes.

 

A show a couple of years ago, maybe The Event, began with a pilot crashing his commercial jet into a Presidential compound in FL killing all those aboard of course and plenty of people on the ground. Because, they had my family! Holding family members hostage is the cheapest trick in the book and is the laziest plot device going. Hey, I had no choice! In this case the hobbit assists in the takeover of all humanity so his wife can get into a cancer trial. Just once I'd like to see a character say f*ck you, there's a greater good here and I won't give in to your blackmail, then go to police. But that won't be this show.

 

Also what gives these sick dudes like the pilot, superhuman strength? One bonk from a fire extinguisher should do the trick but no, it takes several.

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It's funny that they are so specific about the address of each scene when it's filmed 500 miles away. I've been trying to catch signs of Toronto without luck so far. Toronto is helpfully generic.

 

 

Very true. Last week or the week before they used St. Mary's Church for a exterior shot (same church they use in Hannibal for the exterior of his office) but beyond that I haven't recognized anything. Its nice to know that someone on the show is looking out for the small details even if its just the location scout.

 

Also what gives these sick dudes like the pilot, superhuman strength? One bonk from a fire extinguisher should do the trick but no, it takes several.

 

 

I'm guessing being a vampire means superhuman strength. That's a fairly typical vampire trope. Seriously, they've got every sign they could need to guess vampire so if they don't call it next episode I'll be very disappointed. Sean Astin knows about the dirt coffin, they saw that the dead people on the plane had no blood, the pilot was drinking blood, superhuman strength and the guy was getting pale. Plus Setrakian wanted to cut off their heads and burn their bodies. The only trope these vampires don't seem to follow is that they can handle the daylight just fine. 

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I really hope now that the show is done with the world building and the CDC team now knows the truth about the "vampirism" disease that the real action can get started. I want some cool well choreographed violent vampire slaying.

 

I was thinking about the old wealthy guy who helped the master in return for becoming a vampire. I wonder if he would still want to be a vampire if he saw how gross the Nazi looked without the make up and prosthetics. 

 

Does anyone know if the vampire kill dogs and other animals? Because I am worried about the German Shepard that was growling at that guy. 

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Was the family drama in the book? I'm tired of it. I hope it has something to do with the storyline and not something extraneous just as a filler. 

 

I haven't read the book so I don't know, but so far it comes off as some male network executive's idea about how to keep the story, and Eph in particular, relatable to female viewers.

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(edited)

Very true. Last week or the week before they used St. Mary's Church for a exterior shot (same church they use in Hannibal for the exterior of his office) but beyond that I haven't recognized anything.

A couple from last night's episode alone: the exterior shot of the concert hall for the Bolivar scenes was venerable Massey Hall (where a Neil Young live album was recorded, among others), with a different name (I think it was "Vestry Hall"?) supered on the front of it, and the interiors were inside a smaller venue called the Opera House; also, in the scene where Eph, Nora and the CDC boss were entering a glass-fronted building, it was The Gardiner Museum (a ceramic art museum) on University Avenue. The view of the characters from inside looking back out the front clearly showed the Royal Ontario Museum (with its big ROM banners) across the street. I'm surprised they didn't edit those out.

On a personal note, last summer I spoke to a location scout for the show about using my house for one of the residential sets. For better or worse (the disruption might not have been worthwhile), it didn't work out.

As for the comments that the characters should be catching on that it's vampires, I can only assume that it's one of those scenarios where vampires/zombies etc. are not a thing in this world, which supports the idea of it being a retelling of Stoker's Dracula, where only Van Helsing had any previous vampire knowledge.

Edited by beedub
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I haven't read the book so I don't know, but so far it comes off as some male network executive's idea about how to keep the story, and Eph in particular, relatable to female viewers.

Well, I'm a female and I don't tune in for relationship drama. I tune in for sci-fi. TBTB need to realize that females who want romdrama can go to Lifetime. This is not directed at you, just the multiverse in general. 

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(edited)

I also found it odd that the vampire hunter was so dismissive of the CDC lady. He could have at least gave her some information on how to contact him when they realized what they were up against. The idea that he alone could track down 200+ victims and their families is far fetched.

 

Ephraim obviously isn't as much of a genius as he thinks he is... "My son is everything to me! I would do anything for him!!" Except, you know, quit my job or make time for him, or things like that... I'd rather be a workaholic and alcoholic and just talk about how much I care. 

I'm guessing the vampires are going to threaten his family at some point -- but so far the family drama is dragging the show down. 

 

I think we've got enough balls in the air at this point - we don't more stuff, like the CDC's Hobbit guy's wife having cancer and him being blackmailed by Vampire butler guy. Where was "the master" this week? 

Edited by shrewd.buddha
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I cannot believe that an amazing actor like Regina King is merely an afterthought on show. She should be one of the members of the CDC team, maybe their boss.

Amen to that. While I can't really knock the acting on the show (most everyone is doing the best they can with the horrible writing), it's a criminal misuse of King's talent to only have her in the occasional scene pestering Marilyn Manson 2.0 about his concert schedule. I hope she has a bigger part to play later on.

 

Without his make-up and prosthetics, that Eichorst dude really looks like Lord Voldermort!  And, hey, he even has a wig that looks better then Cory Stoll's!

That's not saying much; Phyllis Diller had wigs that look better than Stoll's. There's been so much notice of how bad that thing is, I'm wondering if whoever wrangles and feeds it is going to have trouble finding future work in television.

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Amen to that. While I can't really knock the acting on the show (most everyone is doing the best they can with the horrible writing), it's a criminal misuse of King's talent to only have her in the occasional scene pestering Marilyn Manson 2.0 about his concert schedule. I hope she has a bigger part to play later on.

That's not saying much; Phyllis Diller had wigs that look better than Stoll's. There's been so much notice of how bad that thing is, I'm wondering if whoever wrangles and feeds it is going to have trouble finding future work in television.

Now you have me thinking of Rip Taylor and I'm gong to want Eph to throw glitter at the Vamps.

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(edited)

Confession: I don't care about the wig. I care about the stupid like Setrakian dismissing a would-be helper, idiot wife of obviously sick guy, one medical examiner for 200+ people, nobody noticing anything amiss at morgue for a day, how did they all get out, boring family subplot, idiot "not a CDC" problem boss, virus vs parasite, underuse of Regina King...

 

Setrakian's "you aren't ready" reminds me of the common nutty response to a question "Well, if you have to ask, then I'm not going to tell you." Huh? The fact that you think someone should know something doesn't matter, the problem is that they do not. Just tell already. Ugh. If she's not ready, then bring them up to speed, how about that.

Edited by fauntleroy
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I was in fear for the dog the entire episode. If they kill the dog, we are going to have some serious problems. I knew rockers genitals were going to fall off, I laughed at the sound of them falling off into the toilet. I assumed he was fully integrated into being a vampire by then, so he was all "whatever" when they fell off. Still trying to figure out the difference between the dead ones, and the live ones. They both have those tongues, but I figured that the dead ones were like foot soldiers, and the 4 were being groomed to be the big wigs. I guess time would tell.  I would love to see a show where we actually see the downfall of civilization, from beginning to end. Maybe we can't beat these vampires, and they take over, would that be so bad?

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Confession: I don't care about the wig. I care about the stupid like Setrakian dismissing a would-be helper, idiot wife of obviously sick guy, one medical examiner for 200+ people, nobody noticing anything amiss at morgue for a day, how did they all get out, boring family subplot, idiot "not a CDC" problem boss, virus vs parasite, underuse of Regina King...

 

If the story put out to the public is that the passengers died from carbon monoxide poisoning, why aren't the passengers' families asking that the bodies be released for funerals?  Or are we supposed to believe that all those dead people made it home and their families have taken them in? 

 

Instead we have one TV news van outside of one passenger's home. 

 

I think I'm done.  When Sean Astin confronted his new boss, I realized I didn't care if he survived that encounter.  I kinda like the exterminator but I don't care about any of the other characters.  And what's worse, I have no sympathy for any of them.  They aren't real to me, not at all.

 

Even a vampire/zombie show needs to take place in the real world. 

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(edited)

@Rhetorica and vibelogy, I could only get through the first book. It was clearly written as a move or tv concept. It's a trilogy, but after slogging through The Strain, I didn't care what followed. And if I recall, the relationship with Eph and his son is a huge plot point.

As for Sektarian not begging CDC chick for help, she didn't believe him the first time, and maybe he's fed up with trying to convince people of the impending doom, waiting instead for them to come to him. Imagine being him and trying to convince people what is happening and what will happen. He's lucky he didn't end up in Bellview.

Edited by BigBlueMastiff
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. I knew rockers genitals were going to fall off, I laughed at the sound of them falling off into the toilet. I assumed he was fully integrated into being a vampire by then, so he was all "whatever" when they fell off

yeah, his eyes were doing the shutter thing. He was no longer capable of caring.

I think this show has made me realize that i prefer seductive humanoid vampires and unhumanlike zombies. And I'm just not sure if these lamprey-like vampire/zombies are working for me.

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Of all the complaints I have about this episode, the only one I want to talk about is that dirty toilet.  Seriously?  Why the dirty toilet cliche?  It's all scratched up and gross for no good reason.  I'm already grossed out and horrified that this dude's cock and balls plop plopped into the toilet, I don't need to see decades worth of shit stains to make sure the horror and gross factor truly hit home.  I hate the dirty toilet cliche!

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(edited)
Instead we have one TV news van outside of one passenger's home.

 

The wife needed to close the frakking blinds or curtains or whatever and stop complaining about all the news crews outside.

 

ETA: Took a closer look and it was curtains, not blinds in that house -- but still needed to be closed.

Edited by ottoDbusdriver
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A more interesting story would be that Gabriel's penis goes out into the sewers and grows into a giant alligator penis and attacks people when it gets loose above ground.

But I'm sure whatever they come up with will be as good as that.

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(edited)

A more interesting story would be that Gabriel's penis goes out into the sewers and grows into a giant alligator penis and attacks people when it gets loose above ground.

But I'm sure whatever they come up with will be as good as that.

Isn't that just the VH1 Behind the Music episode with Tommy Lee?

Edited by bosawks
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Setrakian's "you aren't ready" reminds me of the common nutty response to a question "Well, if you have to ask, then I'm not going to tell you."

 

Or, "You can't handle the truth"! To be fair, he did give her some practical advice on how to deal with the situation, but she would have none of the burning and the beheading, so his attitude can be forgiven.

 

I kinda like the exterminator but I don't care about any of the other characters.  And what's worse, I have no sympathy for any of them.  They aren't real to me, not at all.

 

What, even with Dr. Goodweather's fully-realized, driven-but-embittered father whose son won't allow him joint custody? Have you no heart?

 

I think we've got enough balls in the air at this point

 

Not to mention the ones making their way to the East River. And on that subject, what are the chances that Bolivar has just lost his, well, Bolivars, and on a show with this much gore, we get what looks like a Titian painting. While it's perhaps too horrific to contemplate, all the same, how is there not even any blood, especially since he was actually using this fully-functioning equipment just seconds before? It's almost supernatural, I tell you!

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I'm not sure which was funnier: Gabriel's "eh, I wasn't using it" face, or the Ken doll makeup job.  Although wearing that gown, I half expected Goodbye Horses on the soundtrack.

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I'll just add "abscence of wound from sloughing off organs" to the pile with "circulatory system full of wriggling flourescent worms doesn't immediately kill patient" and "hospital tests fail to identify beginnings of yard-long tentacle snake forming from patient's tongue."

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So stupid, yet so scarily fun. When I wasn't laughing, I was genuinely scared. Loving it. No, really.

In the opening scene, in which Eichorn was "dressing" himself as a normal human, my husband said, "Doesn't it make you wonder how many people around us every day are, you know...?" Hm, I hadn't wondered that...but thanks, Hon.

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The rockstar is peeing and we hear one thing drop into the toilet and suddenly he has no penis and testicles? Not one guy doing the sound editing thought, nope, that's not right?

 

 

Perhaps they fell off in unison. A package deal, if you will.

 

I would have expected at least a wound where the urethra was, though. I mean, he was just using that junk to pee. Did it instantaneously seal and heal when he was done? At least he doesn't have to deal with that urologist anymore, unless he wants to have her for lunch.

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Does anyone know if the vampire kill dogs and other animals

They do, actually. That's actually the final way the husband protects his family from the monster he's becoming. He eats the dogs but sends his wife and kids away out of fear he'll eat them too. He then chains himself up in the garage, where Eph, Nora and Abe find and slay him.

Bolivar indeed had transitioned to the point where he stopped caring that his genitals had atrophied. As we saw from the opener, he still needs to lose his nose and ears so he hasn't finished yet.

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It looked to me that Eichorn, the nazi guy, still had ears, though.  They were just pasty white like the rest of his skin, so I didn't understand why he was putting on new ears as opposed to just coloring the ones he had.  I also wondered at the wound in his neck that he covered up.  Is that going to be where the tongue thing eventually comes out when its real big?

 

I also thought it was super weird that there was no wound at the pubic area for the rocker.

 

I feel sorry for the cancer patient who ended up losing their spot for Kent's wife.

 

Count me as another person who really thinks the whole family drama for Goodweather is boring and wasteful.  Couldn't they just have started the story with him already divorced/partial custody or whatever?  Its really necessary for the father-son relationship any more to see it all being dragged out.  Also, the whole bit with "joint custody" is not using the right terms.  The parents can have "joint custody", which means they jointly make decisions as to the child's welfare, but the son can have the mother as his primary residence, with the father seeing him a couple of times a month, vacations, holidays, etc.  There's been no indication that the father should have his 'joint custody' rights removed, he hasn't made bad decisions for the child, abandoned him, neglected/abused him, placed him in harms way, etc.

 

Anyway, lets just get on with the vampire transformation and world take over/battle and stop with the stupid family drama.

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At least it's confirmed these aren't your typical sexy vampires, maybe a more realistic ugly ones.

 

Yeah I also missed the big cajuna box vamp, nowhere to be seen in this episode.

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I wonder how exactly Goodweather thought shared custody of his son would work. Who's going to be feeding him, taking him to school, etc. while Goodweather's busy with his Very Important Job That Always Takes Priority? It seems to me that two weekends a month of being the cool Dad that does fun stuff with the kid would be just about right for him in terms of time committment.

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I am viewing this as mindless summer fun so I am enjoying the show for the most part for what it is. Give me my old school vampires please.  None of that sparkly hopping through trees with their emotive challenged soulmate shit. This show ain't Walking Dead or Games of Thrones good but it ain't Sharknardo bad either. The only infuriating things were the stupidity of all the really ill people and the people surrounding them not seeking medical attention. After a major event which caused the CDC to quarantine your ass and being warned that you might have been infected by an unknown pathogen wouldn't the slightest thing out of the ordinary send anyone with a lick of common sense screaming to the hospital? Yet their eyeballs fill with blood, their ears ring, hearing voices, bleeding about the gums, drinking steak blood, junk make a doctor jump back and yet none of these make them think they need to get their Obamacare on!  That whole NYC medical examiner issue was some WTF too.

 

Apart from Eph's wig, the production values seem good. Seriously they couldn't get a 3rd string wigmaster understudy of Beyonce's vacation wigs? Eph's wig looks like it came with a costume.

 

Abraham is a BOSS but yes it was infuriating that he just didn't fill in CDC lady. She may not have believed him at first but surely her coming to him shows that she is at least starting to wonder about the things he said so far and the more shit progresses the truer his words would become. Now he just set it up to waste more time because she has to come back and be filled in when they could have just moved on to just str8 heart staking and decapitating.

 

I am loving Fet. I have seen the actor in other things but I never realized he was so frigging large and imposing.

 

I do wonder how the driver who took the coffin across the river and is set to return the stolen clock to Ab's pawn shop is going to figure into all this.

 

It's funny that they are so specific about the address of each scene when it's filmed 500 miles away. I've been trying to catch signs of Toronto without luck so far. Toronto is helpfully generic. They do a good job keeping the exterior shots tight. I think I spotted a message "centre" sign.

 

 

That explains a lot. I was thinking damn these people must all be stinking rich to have such nice large ass places in the NYC boroughs. Mr blood steak drinker and his mousy neurotic wife's place seemed particular non-NY like to me.

 

Every time anything re: Eph family drama comes on I reach for my nearest device. Just seems like such a time suck and I can't find a single fuck to give.

 

I was thinking about the old wealthy guy who helped the master in return for becoming a vampire. I wonder if he would still want to be a vampire if he saw how gross the Nazi looked without the make up and prosthetics.

 

Or if he knew that his junk would fall off.

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I am loving Fet. I have seen the actor in other things but I never realized he was so frigging large and imposing.

IMDb lists Kevin Durand as 6'6".  His stature works well for Fet and he's bringing a sense of humor.

 

I remember him from Lost and from X-Men: Wolverine.

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One thing I don't understand is why Master Vampire & Co decided to visit New York.

 

It's not as if Berlin is some rinky dink town, and there's no shortage of people or cities in the EU alone, to say nothing of the Eurasian continent.  Thanks to the Chunnel, even London is easily accessible.  No need to take a ferry.

 

Perhaps that was explained somewhere and I missed it.

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why Master Vampire & Co decided to visit New York

 

Or why they just didn't arrive in Toronto, and be done with the NYC pretense. Which must be a pain in the neck for the location people.

 

I guess the calculation is that Americans won't watch a show that doesn't take place in the US. Where the hell is Berlin, anyway? Europe, right? Full of cheese-eating socialists that don't love America. Even vampires have to mind the viewership numbers.

 

Remakes over subtitles. Because eeuww foreign languages.

 

Two cop shows filmed in Canadia, Motive and Rookie Blue, don't explicitly pretend to be somewhere else, but you've got to watch carefully for signs of where they do take place. They hide the badges on the cars and uniforms. No French. You'll never hear them say things like "Eat flaming Canadian justice" or "That's how we do things north of the border". So that if you're not paying attention, you can pretend it's the US.

 

So, vampires taking over NYC, in my comfort zone. Vampires taking over Berlin or Toronto--just weirdo foreigners fighting amongst themselves, not my concern.

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I think the vamps being brought to NYC was explained by the billionaire wanting immortality.  He's doing it for himself and the base of his wealth is in NYC.  

 

That explains why the billionaire wants to import them, though I imagine there are plenty of billionaires in Europe who also want immortality.

 

It doesn't explain why the vampires want to travel to New York.

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