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"LITERALLY!" and Other Offenders on the Grammar Police Docket

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This is barely in this category but the overuse of words, dilute the meaning, or change the definition altogether. 

 

I am not religious (gross understatement) and loathe hearing "I am blessed" en lieu of lucky, fortunate, good creator for myself or worked for this.  Sacred is now used for every damn thing including a bed or morning coffee time!  

 

It has been said people who swear a lot lack vocabulary.  Now lets find some alternatives for these you fuck heads.  

 

You do understand that some people feel it is a sin not to acknowledge the hand of God in everything, don't you?  That's why they say it -- not to say it would, to them, smack of pride and ingratitude.

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You do understand that some people feel it is a sin not to acknowledge the hand of God in everything, don't you?  That's why they say it -- not to say it would, to them, smack of pride and ingratitude.

 

 

Ha ha ha.  Not good to get me started on religion and how many must make references to it constantly like we all believe the same thing!  

Edited by wings707
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And almost everyone commenting on the crime says "things like this don't happen in our sleepy little town".  Bullshit.  Nice small towns are fucking magnets for depraved killers!

 

Especially if Jessica Fletcher shows up!

 

If you must say it, once is plenty.  As I have said, when someone sneezes I say, "stop it!"   :>)

 

I used to have a boss who used to say either "Shut up!" or "Get any on ya?" when someone sneezed.

 

Topic? I got nothin'.

Edited by Eliot
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Ha ha ha.  Not good to get me started on religion and how many must make references to it constantly like we all believe the same thing!  

Whether I share their belief isn't the point.  The point is that THEY believe, and I respect them for that.

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Do you mean it added the apostrophe to "shant" but not to "cant" and "wont"?  That would make sense, because while cant and can't are both words, as are wont and won't, only shan't is a word; there is no word shant.

 

No I mean before you guys explained it, the correction seemed inconsistent because I was thinking about wont and cant as words only as contractions.   Figurative braces off, I'm standing really corrected.  Won't (lol) use up any more class time on it. 

 

 

Unfortunately, I have some relatives/friends who, when they say "I'm blessed," have a look on their faces that says "And you're not!"  That's what bugs me.

Brad Pitt's eyes--OMFG!

 

They're doing it wrong.   :D

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Whether I share their belief isn't the point.  The point is that THEY believe, and I respect them for that.

 

 

I didn't take that to be your point. :>)

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I have to admit that I do get annoyed with the "I'm blessed" line when I casually ask someone how they're doing.  All I'm expecting to hear is "Fine, how about you?" (even if you're not) and then go on about business.

 

 

So much, THIS!  My mother had a friend, who always responded, "Blessed by the best and praying for the rest"! whenever someone asked her how she was doing.  ARGGGGHH!  Why couldn't the pretentious heifer just reply, "I'm fine; how are you?"

 

Could someone also explain to me exactly when people started spelling the word, "disdain," D-I-S-T-A-I-N?  I have been seeing that particular spelling quite a bit in articles and other writings.  It's ridiculous especially when the writers or speakers still pronounce the word the way it is supposed to be spelled! 

 

Don't even get me started on when people frequently mispronounce "ask" and "asked."  When did it become "ast" or "axed?"  Is it a lazy tongue or is there some new unwritten rule that it's okay to drop the "K?"

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So much, THIS!  My mother had a friend, who always responded, "Blessed by the best and praying for the rest"! whenever someone asked her how she was doing.  ARGGGGHH!  Why couldn't the pretentious heifer just reply, "I'm fine; how are you?"

 

Could someone also explain to me exactly when people started spelling the word, "disdain," D-I-S-T-A-I-N?  I have been seeing that particular spelling quite a bit in articles and other writings.  It's ridiculous especially when the writers or speakers still pronounce the word the way it is supposed to be spelled! 

 

Don't even get me started on when people frequently mispronounce "ask" and "asked."  When did it become "ast" or "axed?"  Is it a lazy tongue or is there some new unwritten rule that it's okay to drop the "K?"

 

And there is that ever present word pray, yet again. Pray if you choose but keep it to yourself!  That is a personal religious belief.  There are many of us who do not want your religion crammed down our throats. 

 

As for distain vs disdain, use spell check!  

 

Axe is a dialect common in the black community though I have seen it with Hispanics, as well.  Have no clue how that got started.  

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It came about supposedly because in the original African dialects from which Ebonics is partly descended, the "sk" sound combination following a vowel doesn't exist. The nearest approximation for speakers of those dialects was the "x" sound as in "fox," so that's what they used to pronounce English words such as "ask,"  and their descendants just kind of stuck with it.

 

Similarly, native speakers of Spanish have a hard time pronouncing any double-consonant combination that begins or ends a word (Spanish tends to prefer vowels over consonant clusters), so "axe" for "ask" would be the natural response (also partly due to influence from the African dialects that affected Spanish back a few centuries ago).

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I used to have a boss who used to say either "Shut up!" or "Get any on ya?" when someone sneezed.

 

This completely cracked me up. I've never heard of "get any on ya?" as a response and it's so gross and yet so funny...my inner junior high kid thanks you! And, on some days, when I'm feeling particularly crabby and poor DW has allergies and sneezing fits, I just want to yell "Yes, dear, I GET IT, it's SPRING, now would you KINDLY go explode snot elsewhere?" So, yeah, I get the urge to yell "shut up." Same when I hear someone with recurring coughing. DW has had to ask people to stop blessing her - it's just a really annoying cycle of "bless you/thank you" after the first sneeze and it really doesn't help the situation.

 

Distain...oddly fascinated by this fake word. "Dis" can mean "do the opposite of," so if I'm "distaining" a spill, am I cleaning it? Or am I insulting a perfectly innocent wine splash on a carpet? 

 

Yeah, OK...I see the door...

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This completely cracked me up. I've never heard of "get any on ya?" as a response and it's so gross and yet so funny...my inner junior high kid thanks you!

 

My husband says this all the time.  Of course, he also asks "How did everything come out?  Pretty shitty?" when I get back from the bathroom, so his inner junior high kid is pretty much outer.  LOL.

 

Girls,  you can't have him, he's mine!!

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This completely cracked me up. I've never heard of "get any on ya?" as a response and it's so gross and yet so funny...my inner junior high kid thanks you!

 

My father used to say 'didn't mean to get any on you', which is even worse. :-P

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Sooooo busted at work for my continual "oh gross!" outbursts and fits of giggles. Now I cannot wait for someone around here to sneeze. No more single "bless yous" or "Gesundheits." Bring it on, flu season. I'm ready with full color commentary.

 

Speaking of color commentary and returning to topic: the newest verb  for hockey announcers is "wipe." No, we're not talking Charmin bear poopybutt fetishes. Why simply say, "Player X dumps* the puck over the blue line" when you can say something completely nonsensical, such as "Player X wipes the puck over the blue line."  So...wait. What? He's wiping the blue line with the puck? Is the zamboni broken? Why, Verb of the Day calendars? Why? 

 

*Why, yes, I did say poopy and dump in the same sentence and have completely regressed to elementary school tittering...oh, don't even...

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This completely cracked me up. I've never heard of "get any on ya?" as a response and it's so gross and yet so funny...

 

Distain...oddly fascinated by this fake word. "Dis" can mean "do the opposite of," so if I'm "distaining" a spill, am I cleaning it? Or am I insulting a perfectly innocent wine splash on a carpet? 

 

"Didja Get Any Onya?"

 

If you dis Tain, you'd better be ready to run from a mob of angry Scotsmen.

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...Don't even get me started on when people frequently mispronounce "ask" and "asked."  When did it become "ast" or "axed?"  Is it a lazy tongue or is there some new unwritten rule that it's okay to drop the "K?"

It came about supposedly because in the original African dialects from which Ebonics is partly descended, the "sk" sound combination following a vowel doesn't exist. The nearest approximation for speakers of those dialects was the "x" sound as in "fox," so that's what they used to pronounce English words such as "ask,"  and their descendants just kind of stuck with it.

 

Similarly, native speakers of Spanish have a hard time pronouncing any double-consonant combination that begins or ends a word (Spanish tends to prefer vowels over consonant clusters), so "axe" for "ask" would be the natural response (also partly due to influence from the African dialects that affected Spanish back a few centuries ago).

In the college where I work, one of the kids was making fun of the other kid for using the "ax" pronunciation instead of the "ask." I don't recall what ethnicity the heckler was--could've even been from another country and didn't know it was an Ebonics dialect thing. Anyway, I shut them both up by pointing out that Shakespeare used "ax." It seems he wasn't the first either. It dates back to Chaucer: http://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/people-have-been-saying-ax-instead-ask-1200-years-180949663/
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  "Lying there unconscious."

On 60 Minutes, Anderson Cooper also mentioned someone lying on the ground.  That's twice in one week--it's making a comeback!

 

Zippety-doo-dah!!!  Miss Henry and I are smiling.

 

.

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But lying down is correct, isn't it?  I was taught that lay requires an object -- you lay something down -- but if you're talking about yourself, a body, then you lie down, or are lying down. 

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That's a slight oversimplification of the rule.   The actual rule is that "lay" always takes a direct object because you are physically placing something (or someone) somewhere.  Its principal parts are "lay" (present tense and infinitive), "laid" (past tense and past participle), and "laying" (present participle/gerund).

 

"Lie," on the other hand, never takes a direct object because it indicates a state or change in state or position -- you are not actually placing anything or anyone anywhere.  Its principal parts are "lie" (present tense and infinitive), "lay" (past tense), "lain" (past participle), and "lying" (present participle/gerund).

 

Thus, you lay a book on a table or a baby in its crib, and a chicken lays an egg.  The book, however, lies on the table, the baby lies in its crib, and the chicken's egg lies in the nest after they have been laid there..

 

I love English!  :)

Edited by legaleagle53
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If you dis Tain, you'd better be ready to run from a mob of angry Scotsmen.

 

At the risk of telling everyone here something they already know, there's a term for words that people mispronounce or misspell but that make sense to them:  eggcorn.  It comes from people (maybe just one patient zero) hearing "acorn" and thinking it was "eggcorn,"

 

I tend to run things thorough the "eggcorn test," trying to figure out what goes on in people's heads to produce the wrong word.  I once saw a reference to someone being "on the lamb" and I wondered if the writer thought the phrase came from Scotland, where in ancient times people who wanted to escape would ride on a lamb.

 

But back to TV atrocities, in the documentary "Art and Craft," they showed some TV news footage, and the chyron said:  ART SLUTH REVEALS FORGERIES.  How in the world did that get by anybody? 

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harebrained ninnyhammer

This may be a non sequitur but I really want this to be my next user name.

 

I'm a serial sneezer so when an office-mate feels the need to bless me every time, I assure her after the second time that now I consider myself blessed (one syllable) for the day.  Which ties in nicely with those whose voicemail message ends with "Have a blessed (two syllables) day." 

 

TV topic?  I always thought that if you were talking about something that began with a vowel, "the" would be pronounced "thee" as in "the bird" but "thee eagle".  Increasingly I'm only hearing "thuh".  A regionalism or an evolution of the language?

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I once saw a reference to someone being "on the lamb" and I wondered if the writer thought the phrase came from Scotland, where in ancient times people who wanted to escape would ride on a lamb.

 

I usually wonder if the writer is referring to that old joke about why kilts don't have zippers.  Hee.

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But lying down is correct, isn't it?  I was taught that lay requires an object -- you lay something down -- but if you're talking about yourself, a body, then you lie down, or are lying down. 

Yes!

 

Sorry, I was referring to a discussion several pages ago about the evolution of language and whether common usage will eventually morph incorrect grammar into correct grammar.  

 

I'm hardcore, so I'll probably still be croaking out "lying!" when people remark about how natural I look laying there in my coffin.

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But lying down is correct, isn't it?  I was taught that lay requires an object -- you lay something down -- but if you're talking about yourself, a body, then you lie down, or are lying down. 

 

You do lie down. Some people say lay down, but if you were laying, there would be eggs there later, so.

 

I once saw a reference to someone being "on the lamb" and I wondered if the writer thought the phrase came from Scotland, where in ancient times people who wanted to escape would ride on a lamb.

 

 

I usually wonder if the writer is referring to that old joke about why kilts don't have zippers.  Hee.

 

Or that other joke about the Scottish Rolling Stones' rip off 'Hey, MacLeod, Get Off Of My Ewe."

 

*runs away*

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You do lie down. Some people say lay down, but if you were laying, there would be eggs there later, so....

Hee! Did you make that up or is it commonly used to determine which to use?

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Hee! Did you make that up or is it commonly used to determine which to use?

 

Unfortunately, I cannot take credit for making it up, shapeshifter. Some comedian was talking about grammar-related things and said it. The same comic also said that their SO used to go apoplectic about that old Apple commercial, the one where they would just show the product and then the words, 'Think Different.'

"Differently! Differently! It's an adverb, you fucking morons!!"

Edited by Cobalt Stargazer
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When people on tv say, "I didn't do nothing", aren't they in essence just admitting to doing something? Correct me if I am wrong, but shouldn't they say, "I didn't do anything" or "I don't know anything"? Now I am more than willing to admit that I would be the number one suspect in the murder of the English language, but this is one instance that just drives me metaphorically (hee) insane. 

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When people on tv say, "I didn't do nothing", aren't they in essence just admitting to doing something? Correct me if I am wrong, but shouldn't they say, "I didn't do anything" or "I don't know anything"? Now I am more than willing to admit that I would be the number one suspect in the murder of the English language, but this is one instance that just drives me metaphorically (hee) insane.

I used to live in a house on Staten Island where my house mates would use the much more satisfying triple negative: I didn't never do nothing.
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I used to live in a house on Staten Island where my house mates would use the much more satisfying triple negative: I didn't never do nothing.

 

 

 

What kept you from going postal? ; )

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On the Project Runway: All Stars premiere, the designers were divided by gender into two teams. Alyssa Milano drove me crazy by consistently calling them "the most successful" and "the least successful" teams. I was taught that when there are only two of something, it should be "more" and "less," not "most" and "least."

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Here's something from another language.  Now, I didn't rewind to make sure I heard what I thought I heard, but I'm pretty sure that a contestant on the Amazing Race, attempting to get directions in French said (she wanted to know how many miles away something was and was saying it back to confirm it),:  "Un, dos, tres?  Merci." 

 

ETA:  I just read a CNN article and the writer wrote:  vajayjay.  I hate that with a passion.  Where did it start and why?  It's ridiculous.

Edited by Shannon L.
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ETA:  I just read a CNN article and the writer wrote:  vajayjay.  I hate that with a passion.  Where did it start and why?  It's ridiculous.

 

Never mind that even when the proper word is used, it's almost always in reference to external lady bits, which neither "vajayjay" nor "vagina" describes. 

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ETA:  I just read a CNN article and the writer wrote:  vajayjay.  I hate that with a passion.  Where did it start and why?  It's ridiculous.

 

Shannon L., Urban Dictionary says that the origin of vajayjay is unknown, but that the word has been used on Grey's Anatomy, and that Oprah herself once shouted "Ouch, my vajayjay!" on a show where she was being flung around on bungee cords. Which.....I don't know.  Except that it makes me go O.O

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On this week's Once Upon A Time, Emily DeRaven's character said: A hero has to be willing to sacrifice for the ones they love.

"They????"

"A hero?"

Was the original line "Heroes have to be...?"

Did she read it wrong, or was it written like that?

The character is married to a man who would be guilty of domestic violence, among other things, so maybe she was just too cowed to say: A hero has to be willing to sacrifice for the ones she loves.

ETA: I did read within the last year that somewhere grammarians are considering approving the used of "they" for the singular to make it easier to be gender neutral.

Edited by shapeshifter

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ETA: I did read within the last year that somewhere grammarians are considering approving the used of "they" for the singular to make it easier to be gender neutral.

 

Just one post after kariyaki lamented the lack of a dislike button...

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I was watching an episode of Criminal Minds recently where the characters were talking about a woman who had been killed, and one of them said, "Her aorta was severed."

 

Dear CM Writers,

 

Severed? You're sure about that? Arteries can be severed, aortas can be punctured or ruptured. Severed is not a synonym for punctured. I looked it up. You should have looked it up when you were writing the scene.

 

Regards,

Me

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I was watching an episode of Criminal Minds recently where the characters were talking about a woman who had been killed, and one of them said, "Her aorta was severed."

 

Dear CM Writers,

 

Severed? You're sure about that? Arteries can be severed, aortas can be punctured or ruptured. Severed is not a synonym for punctured. I looked it up. You should have looked it up when you were writing the scene.

 

Regards,

Me

I'm pretty sure an aorta could be severed. Maybe you were thinking of atrium?

BW_heartDiagram.jpg

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I'm pretty sure an aorta could be severed. Maybe you were thinking of atrium?

BW_heartDiagram.jpg

 

The reason I know, shapeshifter, is because years ago on Twin Peaks the character of Windom Earle was talking about how he'd figured out how to summon BOB, that the path to it was fear. He said that he hadn't been so excited about anything since he'd punctured Caroline's (his unfaithful wife) aorta. That is legit the first thing I think of every time I see that particular ep of Criminal Minds.

Edited by Cobalt Stargazer

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Dear Ford,

 

I'm sure that you're pleased that one of your SUVs is the "most awarded in the US", but I'm curious as to who you've been awarding it to. Furthermore, why would I want to buy a truck that you're just giving away?

 

SM87

 

-------------

 

I'm pretty sure an aorta could be severed. Maybe you were thinking of atrium?

If you severed your atrium, wouldn't that damage your house? :)

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Our local news people were in rare form last night. First the weather guy described a cold snap as "temperatures plumming overnight", so I guess we should expect to have purple fruit falling from the sky. Then an update on a shooting case told us about the suspect being "accused in a brutar myrtle", which leads me to think that defendants are now forced to wear some sort of flowering plants during arraignment.

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Our local news people were in rare form last night. First the weather guy described a cold snap as "temperatures plumming overnight", so I guess we should expect to have purple fruit falling from the sky. Then an update on a shooting case told us about the suspect being "accused in a brutar myrtle", which leads me to think that defendants are now forced to wear some sort of flowering plants during arraignment.

Wow. Does your local news only hire people with speech problems? Maybe they had colds, and couldn't enunciate clearly as a result?

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That particular station has a tremendous turnover rate for their reporters. Typically they hire someone fresh out of some community college journalism program, and then they move on a year or so later. Only two of the anchors and one weatherman have been there for any length of time.

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I know this is more of a speech impediment, but my 7-year-old was "cured" of it in just the 3 speech sessions she was willing to attend in a low-income public school, so I don't understand why a TV morning host would still do this:

I twitch every time I hear "shtr" instead of "str," as in: "shtrong cold front."

I also heard a second generation pastor of a mega-church do it. *cringe*

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