Small Talk: 90 Words Per Minute

[antfitz]

On 10/28/2014 at 1:25 PM, Kiki620 said:

I saw it!  Definitely more creepy and darker than 90 day Fiance'!

 Where did you see it?

[antfitz]

I couldn't understand why Ashley was so bent on marrying that guy. But knowing she has lupus I think makes her more desperate. I had 2 neighbors that had it.  One got an infection and died and about 40. The other one was in his house and couldn't even get the mail till it get dark. I don't know if people realize they cannot be in the sunlight if they have lupus. It is a terrible and deadly Disease.

[antfitz]

On 10/22/2014 at 7:23 PM, Bandolero said:

Yep... absolutely. Also the men get to have young hot wives (that they likely could not pull in America) who are dependent on them for everything... what an ego boost.  

 Like fat slobby David and coltie.   I feel sorry for the girl who married David. And as much as larissa is a hothead, coltie is such a mama's boy. Good old Debbie has basically castrated him.  I'd probably go nuts to if I lived with his mother and her crying if he should leave. God forbid he should  live with his wife.

[Kareem]

On 7/8/2019 at 10:49 AM, AZChristian said:

I think the most recent episode crossed the line from wacky entertainment to unacceptable for me.  It's been fun chatting with you all, but I'm out . . . and deleting it from my list of shows I follow.

Had to do this a few months back for Twitney Thore, and have survived without her.  Now I just have a whole new bunch of free time, and will add to that by quitting the 90-Day franchise shows as well.

The original premise was interesting - couples who met and fell in love with someone from another country on vacation, and the transition of lifestyle for folks who moved here.  Now it's just "If I'm outrageous, I'll get more screen time."

Nope.  Done.

But I still love you all!

Just now seeing this.  You will be missed.

All the best always to you...

[antfitz]

I cannot stand pedro's family. They tricked chantell, And they're mad because she's not sucking up and knuckling under.

[AZChristian]

11 hours ago, Kareem said:

Just now seeing this.  You will be missed.

All the best always to you...

Thanks so much (I got the notification you quoted me). 

I'm 72, and I just don't want to waste any of the time I have left.  I sure don't judge anyone who continues to watch/comment on them.  They're just not worth it any more for me at my age.

I am blessed to still have fairly good health and a positive attitude.  I began to feel like this bunch were making me angrier than I should be over the behavior of people I don't even know.  

Three weeks from today, I'll be on a cruise ship headed to Alaska.  Preparing for that is much more beneficial - and fun - than watching a drunk woman smack the 12-years-younger husband she met on vacation and married too soon after.

[funky-rat]

On 7/8/2019 at 10:49 AM, AZChristian said:

I think the most recent episode crossed the line from wacky entertainment to unacceptable for me.  It's been fun chatting with you all, but I'm out . . . and deleting it from my list of shows I follow.

Had to do this a few months back for Twitney Thore, and have survived without her.  Now I just have a whole new bunch of free time, and will add to that by quitting the 90-Day franchise shows as well.

The original premise was interesting - couples who met and fell in love with someone from another country on vacation, and the transition of lifestyle for folks who moved here.  Now it's just "If I'm outrageous, I'll get more screen time."

Nope.  Done.

But I still love you all!

You and me both.  I never started watching "Before The 90 Days", and I have zero interest in "The Other Way", and the regular show/Ever After have just devolved too far for me.  I don't find domestic abuse entertaining at all.  Too much drama, and too much of the show is staged.  I'm out.  I do still check in and read a few couple's threads, but I removed the shows from my DVR as well.

[Drogo]

On ‎7‎/‎8‎/‎2019 at 10:49 AM, AZChristian said:

It's been fun chatting with you all, but I'm out . . . and deleting it from my list of shows I follow.

Unacceptable.  Put it back.

[Angry Moldovan]

12 hours ago, AZChristian said:

Thanks so much (I got the notification you quoted me). 

I'm 72, and I just don't want to waste any of the time I have left.  I sure don't judge anyone who continues to watch/comment on them.  They're just not worth it any more for me at my age.

I am blessed to still have fairly good health and a positive attitude.  I began to feel like this bunch were making me angrier than I should be over the behavior of people I don't even know.  

Three weeks from today, I'll be on a cruise ship headed to Alaska.  Preparing for that is much more beneficial - and fun - than watching a drunk woman smack the 12-years-younger husband she met on vacation and married too soon after.

I will still see your insightful comments on sisterwives

[Drogo]

No one is allowed to leave.

[toodles]

I'm watching Dr. Phil and some guy is on who has spent $138k on a woman in Nigeria he has never met.  He is selling his blood twice a week to send $$ to this chick.  He sends her money twice a week.  She has to stay in Nigeria because she is set to get a 25 million dollar inheritance.  There is way more to this story, but this is not the only scam he has been sucked into.

The 90 day people have nothing on this guy. And this guy has been diagnosed with delusional disorder by a psychiatrist.  He wears it like a badge of honor. Ei yi yi.

Edited July 20, 2019 by toodles

[Drogo]

On 7/19/2019 at 7:25 PM, toodles said:

She has to stay in Nigeria because she is set to get a 25 million dollar inheritance.  

Sounds legitimate. 

[TwirlyGirly]

On 7/20/2019 at 4:18 PM, Persnickety1 said:

I process medical disability claims and "wheelchair bound" is indeed the correct medical terminology.  It simply means the individual relies on a wheelchair for ambulation.  It is not intended to be derogatory/inflammatory/insulting to anyone.  It's simply the appropriate medical terminology when referring to reliance upon a wheelchair for mobility.

<snip>

Just curious; are you specifically referring to 2019 ICD-10-CM Diagnosis Code Z99.3?

If so, that's listed as "Dependence on wheelchair" not "Wheelchair bound".

"Dependence on wheelchair" would be the correct medical terminology. 

For anyone interested in understanding this a bit better, and why it matters:

Generally we defer to those affected by a term to determine whether a term is offensive; not those who use the term to describe them.

The term "wheelchair bound" is  inaccurate, and is offensive to most individuals* who use a wheelchair for mobility. The term implies the user cannot get out of their chair.

Many of those who are able-bodied believe wheelchair users are literally "bound" to their wheelchairs and that the chairs prevent them from fully participating in life - when the opposite is true.

A few examples of how the term "wheelchair bound" and the way able-bodied people perceive it has affected me:

People have questioned that I have a biological daughter (who I conceived naturally, carried for nine months, and gave birth to) because:

"How can you have sex? You're WHEELCHAIR BOUND!"

Others have expressed surprise that I take baths and/or showers - in a regular bathtub - (instead of having a roll-in shower or taking "sponge baths") because:

"You can't get in and out of a bathtub; you're WHEELCHAIR BOUND."

People have asked why I have a dining room table with a chair (and/or a sofa) in my house for my own use, because:

"You can't use/don't need a 'regular' chair (or a sofa) because you're WHEELCHAIR BOUND!"

People assume I have an attendant or "carer" living with me (or someone in that capacity coming in to "take care of me" several hours a day), because:

"People who are WHEELCHAIR BOUND can't live independently and take care of themselves."

Others can't believe I drive (and have been driving for 45 years - and not a van with a lift and hand controls, but a VW Beetle Convertible) using just extensions on the accelerator and brake pedals, because:

"You're WHEELCHAIR BOUND, so your legs don't work at all. How can you use your legs to drive?" (Assumes everyone who uses a wheelchair has legs that are paralyzed).

I worked full-time for a major commercial airline for 22 years, which afforded me the opportunity to travel for business and pleasure both in the U.S. and abroad. Many people couldn't believe I worked full-time, was self-supporting, and traveled extensively - because:

"You're WHEELCHAIR BOUND!"

Using the phrase "wheelchair bound" perpetuates the stereotype that people who use wheelchairs are literally stuck in them and thus, are incapable of doing most things able-bodied people do. 

In an average day I spend more time OUT of my wheelchair than  IN it. 

Without access to my wheelchair to get from point A to point B, I would literally be "bound" wherever I might be.

Wheelchairs aren't binding, they're freeing.

Here are some links about disability language, how it affects people with disabilities, and why certain terms are offensive:

"Appropriate terms to use" (National Disability Authority):

https://tinyurl.com/y39n9sa7

"Please stop saying 'wheelchair bound'" (FreeWheelinTravel):

https://tinyurl.com/y22vvg8v

"Stop saying 'wheelchair bound'" (HuffPost):

https://tinyurl.com/y2k5y4af

"Please don't call me wheelchair bound" (The Mighty):

https://tinyurl.com/y5av5fup

"No, I'm not wheelchair bound" (The Body is Not an Apology):

https://tinyurl.com/y3n5urej

*The only people with disabilities who use wheelchairs for mobility I've heard use the term to describe themselves, and others who use wheelchairs, are those who became disabled as a result of an accident or chronic/progressive illness as adults. My theory is when they were able-bodied, and then first become disabled, wheelchairs  symbolize a loss of most or all function. Later in their rehabilitation process, they realize a wheelchair enables them TO function. At that point, they find the label "wheelchair bound" offensive and will cease using it.

Edited July 22, 2019 by TwirlyGirly
Changed word "that" to "dependence on wheelchair" for clarification.

[Persnickety1]

13 hours ago, TwirlyGirly said:

Just curious; are you specifically referring to 2019 ICD-10-CM Diagnosis Code Z99.3?

If so, that's listed as "Dependence on wheelchair" not "Wheelchair bound".

"Dependence on wheelchair" would be the correct medical terminology. 

For anyone interested in understanding this a bit better, and why it matters:

Generally we defer to those affected by a term to determine whether a term is offensive; not those who use the term to describe them.

The term "wheelchair bound" is  inaccurate, and is offensive to most individuals* who use a wheelchair for mobility. The term implies the user cannot get out of their chair.

Many of those who are able-bodied believe wheelchair users are literally "bound" to their wheelchairs and that the chairs prevent them from fully participating in life - when the opposite is true.

A few examples of how the term "wheelchair bound" and the way able-bodied people perceive it has affected me:

People have questioned that I have a biological daughter (who I conceived naturally, carried for nine months, and gave birth to) because:

"How can you have sex? You're WHEELCHAIR BOUND!"

Others have expressed surprise that I take baths and/or showers - in a regular bathtub - (instead of having a roll-in shower or taking "sponge baths") because:

"You can't get in and out of a bathtub; you're WHEELCHAIR BOUND."

People have asked why I have a dining room table with a chair (and/or a sofa) in my house for my own use, because:

"You can't use/don't need a 'regular' chair (or a sofa) because you're WHEELCHAIR BOUND!"

People assume I have an attendant or "carer" living with me (or someone in that capacity coming in to "take care of me" several hours a day), because:

"People who are WHEELCHAIR BOUND can't live independently and take care of themselves."

Others can't believe I drive (and have been driving for 45 years - and not a van with a lift and hand controls, but a VW Beetle Convertible) using just extensions on the accelerator and brake pedals, because:

"You're WHEELCHAIR BOUND, so your legs don't work at all. How can you use your legs to drive?" (Assumes everyone who uses a wheelchair has legs that are paralyzed).

I worked full-time for a major commercial airline for 22 years, which afforded me the opportunity to travel for business and pleasure both in the U.S. and abroad. Many people couldn't believe I worked full-time, was self-supporting, and traveled extensively - because:

"You're WHEELCHAIR BOUND!"

Using the phrase "wheelchair bound" perpetuates the stereotype that people who use wheelchairs are literally stuck in them and thus, are incapable of doing most things able-bodied people do. 

In an average day I spend more time OUT of my wheelchair than  IN it. 

Without access to my wheelchair to get from point A to point B, I would literally be "bound" wherever I might be.

Wheelchairs aren't binding, they're freeing.

Here are some links about disability language, how it affects people with disabilities, and why certain terms are offensive:

"Appropriate terms to use" (National Disability Authority):

https://tinyurl.com/y39n9sa7

"Please stop saying 'wheelchair bound'" (FreeWheelinTravel):

https://tinyurl.com/y22vvg8v

"Stop saying 'wheelchair bound'" (HuffPost):

https://tinyurl.com/y2k5y4af

"Please don't call me wheelchair bound" (The Mighty):

https://tinyurl.com/y5av5fup

"No, I'm not wheelchair bound" (The Body is Not an Apology):

https://tinyurl.com/y3n5urej

*The only people with disabilities who use wheelchairs for mobility I've heard use the term to describe themselves, and others who use wheelchairs, are those who became disabled as a result of an accident or chronic/progressive illness as adults. My theory is when they were able-bodied, and then first become disabled, wheelchairs  symbolize a loss of most or all function. Later in their rehabilitation process, they realize a wheelchair enables them TO function. At that point, they find the label "wheelchair bound" offensive and will cease using it.

I'm referring to physicians who examine the claimants and process their reports in which they refer to them as "wheelchair bound."  These are government forms that are processed and "wheelchair bound" is the term that is used, i.e., "The claimant is a 34-year-old wheelchair-bound female..."  

I was wheelchair-bound myself for five years.  My dislike of my circumstances did not invalidate the medical term used to describe it.  

ETA because it's early and I've not finished my first cup of coffee and it's Monday).

Edited July 22, 2019 by Persnickety1

[happy hobo]

52 minutes ago, Persnickety1 said:

I'm referring to physicians who examine the claimants and process their reports in which they refer to them as "wheelchair dependent."  These are government forms that are processed and "wheelchair bound" is the term that is used, i.e., "The claimant is a 34-year-old wheelchair-bound female..."  

I was wheelchair-bound myself for five years.  My dislike of my circumstances did not invalidate the medical term used to describe it.  

Having worked with/for CMS, you are correct. 

[Pepper Mostly]

On 7/19/2019 at 7:25 PM, toodles said:

  She has to stay in Nigeria because she is set to get a 25 million dollar inheritance. 

As you do.

[funky-rat]

On 7/19/2019 at 7:25 PM, toodles said:

She has to stay in Nigeria because she is set to get a 25 million dollar inheritance.

But soon, she will travel, and will get robbed, and stranded.  Oh noes!

[toodles]

4 hours ago, funky-rat said:

But soon, she will travel, and will get robbed, and stranded.  Oh noes!

Well, she could if she were a real person.  Dr.Phil broke the scam wide open.

[funky-rat]

3 hours ago, toodles said:

Well, she could if she were a real person.  Dr.Phil broke the scam wide open.

It's a common part of Nigerian scams to say they are travelling and got mugged or lost their luggage, are now stranded, and need money to get home.  

[happy hobo]

NEW RULE: you get ONE season only on 90Days. 

Every damn person they "bring back" is either boring, obnoxious, or a fame-whore. (Speaking of Pao/Chantel/Darcy/Pole/Ashley). Their 'story's are DONE! If their *journey* ( and I despise that term), did not come out the way they liked it, too bad! It doesn't seem like it changes or gets better.

[mamadrama]

Playing with filters and apps. The one on the left was actually a pretty good picture even before I did this to it. I'm not very photogenic but once in a blue moon I'll inadvertently slip a good one in. The other one was some pictures I had to take for a Horror Con thing I was attending. I can see why the women on these shows (and others,too) want to use these filters. It's pretty cool to kind of smooth out and amplify yourself like this. But if they're depending on those photos to find themselves a husband then they might want to reevaluate their plan because he's gonna see you in person eventually. (Well, maybe. I still think some of these folks aren't real: Maria, I'm looking at YOU). I made these the other day and now I can't remember which program through FB I used. I tried a bunch of different ones. I'll retrace my history and then share the link if I can find it. 

Here's a new stocking stuffer this year: MamaDrama Barbie. 

[Scout Finch]

On 7/22/2019 at 5:31 PM, toodles said:

Well, she could if she were a real person.  Dr.Phil broke the scam wide open.

I have long bowed down to the ultimate scammer baiting crew. For instance, Shiver Me Timbers has gotten scammers to handwrite out 100 pages of a Harry Potter book, made them carve and send at their expense wooden cartoon figures, and made one travel all the way to Scotland!

Edited August 14, 2019 by Scout Finch

[Kareem]

11 hours ago, mamadrama said:

Playing with filters and apps. The one on the left was actually a pretty good picture even before I did this to it. I'm not very photogenic but once in a blue moon I'll inadvertently slip a good one in. The other one was some pictures I had to take for a Horror Con thing I was attending. I can see why the women on these shows (and others,too) want to use these filters. It's pretty cool to kind of smooth out and amplify yourself like this. But if they're depending on those photos to find themselves a husband then they might want to reevaluate their plan because he's gonna see you in person eventually. (Well, maybe. I still think some of these folks aren't real: Maria, I'm looking at YOU). I made these the other day and now I can't remember which program through FB I used. I tried a bunch of different ones. I'll retrace my history and then share the link if I can find it. 

Here's a new stocking stuffer this year: MamaDrama Barbie. 

I did a Barbie and “regular” one with 40 lbs of makeup and someone else’s big lips last year.  I haven’t showed them to another soul, but now I think it’s time to send them to Tunisia or wherever.  😉

[Mrs. Hanson]

On 8/14/2019 at 7:06 PM, Kareem said:

I did a Barbie and “regular” one with 40 lbs of makeup and someone else’s big lips last year.  I haven’t showed them to another soul, but now I think it’s time to send them to Tunisia or wherever.  😉

I did one of those as a joke and it came back with a picture of my husband!!!  The pic I used was one of the two of us.  He looked like a drag queen and naturally, I deleted it.  It WAS funny, though.  When I did it my solo picture I looked like someone set the makeup gun to "whore" and went to town.  No thanks.

[toodles]

 CNN has a very interesting online article about online dating scams on their website.  I use the app for CNN.  Anyway, I tried to copy and paste the article, but my laptop is a dud for that.  What a blow I was dealt!

The article said that online romance scams have quadrupled from 2015 to 2018.  The average age of people looking for love in all the wrong places is 40-69 to the tune of $143m.  Looking at you, majority of 90 day people.  80 people from, wait for it, Nigeria were charged in SoCal this week.  To those of us 90 day watchers, the story is is pretty familiar.

It's an interesting read if you're interested.

[Kareem]

This may be it, Toodles (?).

https://www.cnn.com/2019/08/23/us/online-romance-scams-losses-trnd/index.html

[Frozendiva]

Not sure if this is the place for it. I posted it already at the Days of our Lives board, which I post in regularly.

A few of us, including me, got laid off today. My case after being there just over 20 years. Still in a bit of shock.

[Kareem]

14 minutes ago, Frozendiva said:

Not sure if this is the place for it. I posted it already at the Days of our Lives board, which I post in regularly.

A few of us, including me, got laid off today. My case after being there just over 20 years. Still in a bit of shock.

My thoughts and good wishes for you from here... 

[Pepper Mostly]

@Frozendiva, I am so sorry to hear this. I hope that you'll find a new gig soon. Screw those assholes.

[DaphneCat]

On 9/4/2019 at 10:51 PM, Frozendiva said:

A few of us, including me, got laid off today. My case after being there just over 20 years. Still in a bit of shock.

I'm sorry, that sucks.  Hope it works out for you.

[CrazyInAlabama]

That's horribly sad about the romantic scam victims.    I've also read that the regular Nigerian scams (fake checks, dead relatives leaving you money, etc.) make more money than they used to, because the victims are actually taken for more money each, and that requires fuller gullible victims to fall for the scam. 

Another issue for older widows, or widowers can be people that suddenly become their romantic partners, and are pushing for a quick marriage.     I know three people who lost wives or husbands, were not the person who handled the finances in their marriages, so didn't know a lot about the money issues, and then almost immediately were approached by really nice people who were very serious, very quickly.    One woman remarried within two months.   All three romantic partners were new acquaintances.     The two widows, and widower were ripped off for every single penny the new spouse could get.  Everything went into the new spouses' name, and the second the money was gone, the divorce happened.    One woman signed her paid off house into the new husband's name, and she ended up evicted.   

[mamadrama]

I was talking about Balkan travel over on the  Before 90 Days board. I don't want to hijack it, but here are pictures from some of my favorite Croatian, Bosnian, and Slovenian travels. 

Pic 1: Mostar, Bosnia (that's the rebuilt Mostar Bridge in the background; it was destroyed during the war)

Pic 2: (castle and sea) Dubrovnik, Croatia

Pic 3: sunset through the bedroom window of the apartment ($18 per night) we rented on Hvar

Pic 4: Split, Croatia harbor

Pic 5: Bled, Slovenia

Pic 6: me lying on the castle wall on the castle in Bled, Slovenia

Pic 7: the dragon bridge in Ljublana, Slovenia

Pic 8: Turkish marketplace in Sarajevo, Bosnia

I spent years traveling to all the popular places (Ireland, Rome, Florence, Paris, Barcelona, London, etc). These days I prefer to find the smaller, quieter, more off the beaten path places.

I have lots of pictures of the war damage in Bosnia, but that's a different post. 

[blubld43]

Anybody else looking at the "scheduled site maintenance" announcement on here for tomorrow and thinking " no, not on a Monday!"

[Gobi]

17 minutes ago, blubld43 said:

Anybody else looking at the "scheduled site maintenance" announcement on here for tomorrow and thinking " no, not on a Monday!"

No live snark for 90DF - The Other Way. What a blow we've been dealt!

[blubld43]

15 minutes ago, Gobi said:

No live snark for 90DF - The Other Way. What a blow we've been deal

😂😂😂

@Drogo, maybe it will be finished before the new episode?

[mamadrama]

In preparation for tonight...

Some of my favorite pictures I took in Albania...

1) coastal village

2) stone house

3) market

4) my pension's alleyway

5)amazing crepes everywhere

6) squids for sale in the markets (these continue to fascinate me)

[Spisee Hotsos]

This post is in response to @alegtostandon’s post in the Before the 90 Days episode thread “Under Pressure”:

I never felt the voice we heard for "Maria" matched the photoshopped picture we saw. 

Hope this is ok to post here,  I was watching an old episode (2013) of Dr. Phil this morning.  A woman who met the "love of her life" on a dating app. I think he was from Nigeria or Nairobi, something like that.  They had been "dating" for a year,  every plan to meet fell thru,  he owned a construction business & always needed money.  She had sent about $190,000 over the year.  All of his money (6 million dollars) was in an overseas account under her name.  Dr. Phil hired investigators & tried everything to convince her she was being scammed but she refused to believe it.  His phone calls were just like we hear "I love you,  baby".  Then there was group of 3 guys all being scammed by the same person,  beautiful woman from another country,  one guy even proposed & sent an engagement ring based on texts & her picture.  Not only did Dr. Phil find the woman whose picture they received (a girl from US who had no idea her pictures were being used for this)  & brought her on,  he found the person who was initiating the scam. Showed the guy's her picture,  thought they were going to faint.  He could not show the picture on air,  I think he was getting fraud charges started. 

Reminded me so much of what we see on this show. 

I agree, I never thought the voice and photo matched. I have been wanting to share a story with you all but I’m sure it doesn’t belong in the episode thread which is why I’m posting it here. @Mothra referring to the Maria situation the work of a “troll farm” is right on the money, and it's happening all over the world.

The Dr. Phil story you relayed sounds suspiciously like something I went through with a client. I'm a financial advisor, and one of my clients was scammed for $220k USD (we are in Canada; that's $290k CDN) over the course of about two months, from her "fiancé" who owns a construction firm doing work in Ghana. The story reads almost exactly like yours above: he had about $6M tied up in overseas accounts that he couldn't access. He claimed his name was Brian McLaughlin and he owned property in her city in Canada as well as in Santa Barbara. (I searched the records of both properties and found this to be false) He started by claiming his daughter was shot and he needed $40k for hospital bills, followed by $180k as he was held hostage at gunpoint and had to come up with the money. The story made absolutely no sense and my 79 year old client fell for it hook, line and sinker. I counselled her at length, warning her and practically begging her not to do it, but to no avail. "But he's my fiancé! We're planning a life together! I trust him! This is not a scam; I would never fall for a scam! Of course I’ve met him!" And so on.

The scammers do their homework. They prey on those who are isolated and lonely, with limited capacity and little to no family. My client has no siblings, no children, and has always been private about her personal life. She used to have a rich social life but due to age related issues has been fairly isolated for the past year. I first met her when she was 69 years old. Picture Mona from Who’s The Boss: smart, sassy, sashaying around, and sharp-tongued. She was a lot of fun to have lunch with, even in a professional capacity. She was a really neat lady who spoke her mind and was nobody’s fool. The scammers waited until the right time in her life to pounce.

In an effort to prove Brian was a real person, my client gave him my office phone # and had him call me. Sure enough, a phone # with a Ghana area code soon appeared on my call display. My business partner and I put him on speaker phone and listened in total disbelief. The person on the other end of the line was rude, angry, barely spoke English and had a West African accent so thick we could barely understand him. I knew right then that there was not one person running a scam, but a group of people, and they had deployed whomever was available at that time to speak with me. This was definitely NOT the Brian McLaughlin that my client had been speaking to.

Shortly after I spoke with Brian he disappeared. My client was sad, worried and admitted that maybe it had all been a scam. Things didn’t go quiet for long, however. Within two weeks, my client started getting solicitations for investment schemes, no doubt from the same group. One she particularly found interesting was described as a Mexican textiles company. I asked her to send me the info so I could check it out and make sure it was legit, and she excitedly responded that it was a top secret opportunity and she couldn't possibly share it in case she got scooped. Again, she was looking for $40k USD.

Since those initial incidents, beginning in December 2018, my client has cashed out her investment accounts, ran up her line of credit, then paid it off (with some of her investments held at my office), then mortgaged her house for some unknown reason, likely another investment scam. The mortgage deal was suspect as well; with the initial documentation and resulting high fees (with no resulting mortgage) having me suspect the same group of scammers. She then got a mortgage through her local bank. Around this time she started refusing to tell me what she's doing with her money, but she always seemed to be in a panic for it. It was very out of character, as she lived comfortably off her pension income plus $10-$20k from her investments for years, which paid for all her living expenses, golf and dinners out, vacations and buying what she wanted. She had a net worth of about $900k - $1M prior to this incident. Now she has about $200k, which is the residual value of her home with a 50% mortgage on it. When she gets her tax bill next spring, which I estimate will be around $70-$80k, she will surely lose her home.

In Ghana, scamming has become part of the national culture. Men who scam women like my client are known as "Sakawa Boys". They sit in internet cafes and search for the perfect target, then use a series of proven scamming scripts (ones that work are sold from scammer to scammer) pictures, etc to scam unsuspecting victims out of money. They use conspicuous consumption to attract others to the lifestyle and use them to help run the scam. Some do it because it’s easy money, some do it because their prospects are limited or they are indebted to others in the lifestyle.

And just so you all understand that I did everything I could, securities law in Canada prevents me from sharing identifying details of this case with ANYONE outside of my firm. This includes the police, other authorities, or even the client’s own family (except if she had a POA on file, but as she has no family and was still very on the ball prior to this incident she never wanted to set one up). I went through all the proper channels with my firm’s compliance department to try and prevent her from blowing up her financial life, but you can’t completely prevent someone from accessing their own money, even if you think they are acting with impaired capacity. If she had any family at all, I would have called them and told them I was concerned about her, and ask that they look in on her, but that’s as far as I can legally go. Unfortunately, once my client found out she could transfer what was left of her accounts to an advisor at another firm (and I couldn’t legally tip them off in any way) that was the end of that. She told me point blank she needed the money and would be cashing it out once it arrived at the other firm.

Anyways, it’s a long story and different that what’s going on with Caesar and “Maria” but I thought it was worth sharing.

[alegtostandon]

2 hours ago, Saje81 said:

This post is in response to @alegtostandon’s post in the Before the 90 Days episode thread “Under Pressure”:

I never felt the voice we heard for "Maria" matched the photoshopped picture we saw. 

Hope this is ok to post here,  I was watching an old episode (2013) of Dr. Phil this morning.  A woman who met the "love of her life" on a dating app. I think he was from Nigeria or Nairobi, something like that.  They had been "dating" for a year,  every plan to meet fell thru,  he owned a construction business & always needed money.  She had sent about $190,000 over the year.  All of his money (6 million dollars) was in an overseas account under her name.  Dr. Phil hired investigators & tried everything to convince her she was being scammed but she refused to believe it.  His phone calls were just like we hear "I love you,  baby".  Then there was group of 3 guys all being scammed by the same person,  beautiful woman from another country,  one guy even proposed & sent an engagement ring based on texts & her picture.  Not only did Dr. Phil find the woman whose picture they received (a girl from US who had no idea her pictures were being used for this)  & brought her on,  he found the person who was initiating the scam. Showed the guy's her picture,  thought they were going to faint.  He could not show the picture on air,  I think he was getting fraud charges started. 

Reminded me so much of what we see on this show. 

I agree, I never thought the voice and photo matched. I have been wanting to share a story with you all but I’m sure it doesn’t belong in the episode thread which is why I’m posting it here. @Mothra referring to the Maria situation the work of a “troll farm” is right on the money, and it's happening all over the world.

The Dr. Phil story you relayed sounds suspiciously like something I went through with a client. I'm a financial advisor, and one of my clients was scammed for $220k USD (we are in Canada; that's $290k CDN) over the course of about two months, from her "fiancé" who owns a construction firm doing work in Ghana. The story reads almost exactly like yours above: he had about $6M tied up in overseas accounts that he couldn't access. He claimed his name was Brian McLaughlin and he owned property in her city in Canada as well as in Santa Barbara. (I searched the records of both properties and found this to be false) He started by claiming his daughter was shot and he needed $40k for hospital bills, followed by $180k as he was held hostage at gunpoint and had to come up with the money. The story made absolutely no sense and my 79 year old client fell for it hook, line and sinker. I counselled her at length, warning her and practically begging her not to do it, but to no avail. "But he's my fiancé! We're planning a life together! I trust him! This is not a scam; I would never fall for a scam! Of course I’ve met him!" And so on.

The scammers do their homework. They prey on those who are isolated and lonely, with limited capacity and little to no family. My client has no siblings, no children, and has always been private about her personal life. She used to have a rich social life but due to age related issues has been fairly isolated for the past year. I first met her when she was 69 years old. Picture Mona from Who’s The Boss: smart, sassy, sashaying around, and sharp-tongued. She was a lot of fun to have lunch with, even in a professional capacity. She was a really neat lady who spoke her mind and was nobody’s fool. The scammers waited until the right time in her life to pounce.

In an effort to prove Brian was a real person, my client gave him my office phone # and had him call me. Sure enough, a phone # with a Ghana area code soon appeared on my call display. My business partner and I put him on speaker phone and listened in total disbelief. The person on the other end of the line was rude, angry, barely spoke English and had a West African accent so thick we could barely understand him. I knew right then that there was not one person running a scam, but a group of people, and they had deployed whomever was available at that time to speak with me. This was definitely NOT the Brian McLaughlin that my client had been speaking to.

Shortly after I spoke with Brian he disappeared. My client was sad, worried and admitted that maybe it had all been a scam. Things didn’t go quiet for long, however. Within two weeks, my client started getting solicitations for investment schemes, no doubt from the same group. One she particularly found interesting was described as a Mexican textiles company. I asked her to send me the info so I could check it out and make sure it was legit, and she excitedly responded that it was a top secret opportunity and she couldn't possibly share it in case she got scooped. Again, she was looking for $40k USD.

Since those initial incidents, beginning in December 2018, my client has cashed out her investment accounts, ran up her line of credit, then paid it off (with some of her investments held at my office), then mortgaged her house for some unknown reason, likely another investment scam. The mortgage deal was suspect as well; with the initial documentation and resulting high fees (with no resulting mortgage) having me suspect the same group of scammers. She then got a mortgage through her local bank. Around this time she started refusing to tell me what she's doing with her money, but she always seemed to be in a panic for it. It was very out of character, as she lived comfortably off her pension income plus $10-$20k from her investments for years, which paid for all her living expenses, golf and dinners out, vacations and buying what she wanted. She had a net worth of about $900k - $1M prior to this incident. Now she has about $200k, which is the residual value of her home with a 50% mortgage on it. When she gets her tax bill next spring, which I estimate will be around $70-$80k, she will surely lose her home.

In Ghana, scamming has become part of the national culture. Men who scam women like my client are known as "Sakawa Boys". They sit in internet cafes and search for the perfect target, then use a series of proven scamming scripts (ones that work are sold from scammer to scammer) pictures, etc to scam unsuspecting victims out of money. They use conspicuous consumption to attract others to the lifestyle and use them to help run the scam. Some do it because it’s easy money, some do it because their prospects are limited or they are indebted to others in the lifestyle.

And just so you all understand that I did everything I could, securities law in Canada prevents me from sharing identifying details of this case with ANYONE outside of my firm. This includes the police, other authorities, or even the client’s own family (except if she had a POA on file, but as she has no family and was still very on the ball prior to this incident she never wanted to set one up). I went through all the proper channels with my firm’s compliance department to try and prevent her from blowing up her financial life, but you can’t completely prevent someone from accessing their own money, even if you think they are acting with impaired capacity. If she had any family at all, I would have called them and told them I was concerned about her, and ask that they look in on her, but that’s as far as I can legally go. Unfortunately, once my client found out she could transfer what was left of her accounts to an advisor at another firm (and I couldn’t legally tip them off in any way) that was the end of that. She told me point blank she needed the money and would be cashing it out once it arrived at the other firm.

Anyways, it’s a long story and different that what’s going on with Caesar and “Maria” but I thought it was worth sharing.

Such a  heartbreaking story!  I just cannot believe people fall for these but I know they do.  

I live outside of Sun City,  Az.  I had stopped at a bank in Sun City and noticed a sign saying anyone requesting a withdrawal over $5000.00 needed to meet with the bank manager.  I asked about it & was told because of all of the  online scammers targeting eldery.

[Jeanne222]

8 minutes ago, alegtostandon said:

Such a  heartbreaking story!  I just cannot believe people fall for these but I know they do.  

I live outside of Sun City,  Az.  I had stopped at a bank in Sun City and noticed a sign saying anyone requesting a withdrawal over $5000.00 needed to meet with the bank manager.  I asked about it & was told because of all of the  online scammers targeting eldery.

I'm more surprised that so many are falling for it then I am the scammers!

[Spisee Hotsos]

17 hours ago, Jeanne222 said:

I'm more surprised that so many are falling for it then I am the scammers!

I'm not. Unfortunately, scams are so prolific because people DO fall for them. And they're getting more sophisticated all the time.

Edited September 18, 2019 by Saje81

[blubld43]

Had anybody else watched Extreme Cougar Wives? I saw it for the first time last night....omg.

[Hannah94]

32 minutes ago, blubld43 said:

Had anybody else watched Extreme Cougar Wives? I saw it for the first time last night....omg.

Oooh, Darcy should sign up!

[Gobi]

49 minutes ago, Hannah94 said:

Oooh, Darcy should sign up!

That was the first thing I thought of when I saw the title. Except she's not a wife (but I think they aren't wives anyway).

[Hannah94]

6 minutes ago, Gobi said:

That was the first thing I thought of when I saw the title. Except she's not a wife (but I think they aren't wives anyway).

So is this a new trashy reality tv show that could potentially make me feel better about my own life? If so, I am on board! 

[Gobi]

6 minutes ago, Hannah94 said:

So is this a new trashy reality tv show that could potentially make me feel better about my own life? If so, I am on board! 

The description on my TV gave a date of 2013, so I think it's old.

[blubld43]

56 minutes ago, Hannah94 said:

So is this a new trashy reality tv show that could potentially make me feel better about my own life? If so, I am on board! 

You have to watch it! It's jaw droppingly trashy! 

[CrazyInAlabama]

I'm suspicious that all of the 'secrets' that the rumor sites are posting are just to make everyone watch the reunion episodes.   I'm assuming that they'll do one for each show.    I'm wondering if that's why so many of the couples seem to be visiting lately too. 

Edited September 21, 2019 by CrazyInAlabama

[Hannah94]

You guys....I accidentally watched my first ever episode of Sister Wives during a bout of insomnia....oddly, I find these people very personable and likable. I am scared. Help, I think I need an intervention. 😱😰

[AZChristian]

3 hours ago, Hannah94 said:

You guys....I accidentally watched my first ever episode of Sister Wives during a bout of insomnia....oddly, I find these people very personable and likable. I am scared. Help, I think I need an intervention. 😱😰

Watch another 20 episodes.  You'll come to your senses.  They don't even like each other . . . why should anyone who's not married to them like them?

ALSO:  I swore a couple of months ago that I was giving up 90-Day and all its iterations.  Well, we all know that the road to hell is paved with good intentions.  

[SemiCharmedLife]

On 8/14/2019 at 7:10 AM, Scout Finch said:

I have long bowed down to the ultimate scammer baiting crew. For instance, Shiver Me Timbers has gotten scammers to handwrite out 100 pages of a Harry Potter book, made them carve and send at their expense wooden cartoon figures, and made one travel all the way to Scotland!

I have never heard of these scammer baiters before.  I loved reading all the correspondence and reverse scamming that happened.  They sure got what they deserved! Wish I could think of something like that for some of the  scammers that contact me.