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S03.E28: Life After Lockup: Inmates and Playdates

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John flirts with a dangerous temptation; Sarah's date is in jeopardy when she makes a confession.

John starts eye balling his "wife's" sister in what the LAL folks hope we will find a scandalous turn of events. The only thing that draws in the ladies faster than Murgh's devil dick and Quaylon's face tattoos is John's fringed jacket.  FFS.  Is Kristianna's whole family on the mutha fucking crack?  How desparate do you have to be to sidle up to ersatz Indian John. 

Okay, if Sarah's date is "in jeopardy" because Murgh supposedly wants her back and is willing to fight for her, sounds of laughter will ring out throughout the land.  Otherwise I can only assume she has some super strength STD that she got from 😈🍆 that she can transmit merely by looking at someone.

Original air date 2021.01 29

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Okay, I am in Canada here, and the episodes are really behind, so I am slowly catching up. But for the life of me, I just can't figure out why everyone calls Michael, Murgh? Please explain because I need to know! 

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20 minutes ago, mittsigirl said:

Okay, I am in Canada here, and the episodes are really behind, so I am slowly catching up. But for the life of me, I just can't figure out why everyone calls Michael, Murgh? Please explain because I need to know! 

Because he speaks like he has a mouthful of hot potatoes (I’m channeling my mother right there). The minute he appears on screen is the minute I turn on the closed captioning.

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What is Amber's deal? Did she not spend most of the last year or two pining over Puppy and calling her wifey? Going on and on about how she couldn't wait for Puppy to get out so they could be together? Now she's gaslighting us all by basically saying, "I'm not gay."

Terra and her mom need to go back home. There's no reason she can't take care of her own mom. Lakota man needs to reign it in. He's such great husband material, isn't he?

Idiot Sarah pushing Malcolm(?) out in favor of Murgh. 🙄

Mie'la is such a sweetheart and cutie. She doesn't deserve revolving daddies. Shaqup acting like he's been so upstanding is giving me about the last amount of whiplash I can deal with for this episode.

Lastly, I want to smack idiot Shawn for not telling Dustinee to fork over his car, keys, credit card and ring on the spot. Instead he just stands there looking like he's been struck by lightning while she runs her mouth telling him he was a mark from the beginning. For crying out loud, man, stop letting her ride roughshod over you!

These so-called "influencers" give me a case of the arse.

Edited by renatae
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This show did finally give me something I wanted: Density (briefly) struck dumb. Shawn finally got up the wit/nerve to respond to her rage-y accusations of how he had done nothing but lie to her, by pointing out that she hadn't told him that she was engaged (to someone else). It was quietly amazing- she literally had nothing to say!

Star of the show: a tie between cutie M'ielah(?) and that adorable fat little puppy in John's house. OTOH, the scene between Ersatz Indian John and his pimply sister-in-law was so skeevy that I left the room. I sort of liked him up til now, but (shudder) I'll never get that shirtless shot out of my head. Looking forward to seeing Kristianna, who already looked like a fireplug, with an extra 35 lbs. 

I hope Puppy and her mom throw Amber out. That dude Amber is waiting for looks like a scary, hardened criminal; good luck with that 'turning your life around', girl.

Casting better start looking for a new boyfriend for Cabbage Patch. Murgh will lose interest with a quickness as soon as he has her all to himself.

 

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10 hours ago, renatae said:

Lastly, I want to smack idiot Shawn for not telling Dustinee to fork over his car, keys, credit card and ring on the spot. Instead he just stands there looking like he's been struck by lightning while she runs her mouth telling him he was a mark from the beginning. For crying out loud, man, stop letting her ride roughshod over you!

OMG, right?? I kept screaming at the TV "Get the damn car"! "Tell her you cancelled the credit card"! Better yet, punch this bish in the mouth! 

What kind of game is Amber playing? I wish Puppy's mom would kick her out of her house. Poor Puppy, she's in love. 

I love that Malcolm walked away from Sara, leaving her alone in the restaurant guzzling his leftover wine. She really blew it, she deserves Michael. 

Indian John's wife's sister is a disgusting crackhead. Didn't John take her in so she could get clean and wasn't the mother deathly sick? Now their both just living off him and if the sister had her way she would be boning John and leaving prison sister in the dust. 

Marcelino has a lot of patience. I hope Brittney dumps her mom back in Alaska and realizes she needs to pay attention to taking care of her gazillion kids. 

Having said all that, I believe this show is totally fake. Maybe the prison sentences were real but that is all. The relationship shennanigans are all scripted. 

 

 

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4 hours ago, sempervivum said:

Casting better start looking for a new boyfriend for Cabbage Patch. Murgh will lose interest with a quickness as soon as he has her all to himself.

Yea right after he impregnates her with baby #3.  I used to feel bad for her but she deserves what she gets.

4 hours ago, sempervivum said:

I hope Puppy and her mom throw Amber out. That dude Amber is waiting for looks like a scary, hardened criminal; good luck with that 'turning your life around', girl.

He did look scary.  I can't imagine what she sees in him.  I feel bad for Puppy.  Amber is just stringing her along to amuse herself and it's wrong.  I used to like Amber but this season we're seeing what she's really like and it sucks.

Shawn is such a moron "Did you ever love me?"   Do you care after all the shit she's done to you dickhead? The nastier she is to him the more he desires her. 

 

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Note: I can't understand why I watch this shit.  That said,

I wasn't watching the TV when John and K's mom were talking in the kitchen and I literally could not tell which one was speaking without looking up. That woman's voice is ridiculously low.  The sister is awful. That flirting with her sister's husband while said sister is behind bars was really low. John seems to like it though. And since he barely knows K anyway (he has spent nine months getting close to the sister and only three days with K afer all) so the lines are beyond blurry here. The whole household is just weird.

Those who said Michael mumbles are so right. Again I wasn't looking when he was talking and I had to look up at the closed captioning to understand anything he said.  How this mumbling entitled asshole gets women is beyond me. I fail to see the attraction at all.

'It is mandated that Shavel understands and believes that I won't do that shit no more.'  Be still my heart. And because it cannot be said enough, he is not the daddy. Also, no way in hell does that four year old happen to be carrying her own smartphone at the carnival in order to surreptitiously facetime Quaylon and allow him to see where she is and suddenly show up there. I mean, I know this is mostly fake but they should hide the strings a little better when putting on this shitshow.

Shawn is a beaver faced moron hopelessly following around a wolverine faced psychopathic user. Quite the pair. Casting out did themselves with these two.

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6 hours ago, bichonblitz said:

 

I love that Malcolm walked away from Sara, leaving her alone in the restaurant guzzling his leftover wine. She really blew it, she deserves Michael. 

 

 

AND he left her with the bill! That's how it's done 

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I couldn't believe they expected us to be entertained by Tony the "pimp" and his equally opprobrious counterpart talking about all the people they conned into putting money on their books. 🤬

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9 hours ago, Andyourlittledog2 said:

How this mumbling entitled asshole gets women is beyond me. I fail to see the attraction at all.

Two words: The first one starts with devil, the last one starts with dick.

Edited by Auntie Anxiety
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Wait....hold up....let me get this straight.....

Brittney has the resources to take her mother to Alaska, but doesn't have the money to put her in rehab?

Why would the state of Alaska be more helpful or a better idea for an active drug addict than a professional environment dedicated to helping addicts?  

 

If the word "rehab" doesn't come out of Brittney's mouth by the end of this episode, I'll feel even more confident in my assessment that she is little more than a jobless grifter who is exploiting her mother's addition for a reality show paycheck and a free trip to Alaska.  

I assume Sharp will be paying for Andrea and Lamar and family to go to Africa, so they are clearly trying to take this show on the road. 

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21 hours ago, bichonblitz said:

OMG, right?? I kept screaming at the TV "Get the damn car"! "Tell her you cancelled the credit card"! Better yet, punch this bish in the mouth! 

What kind of game is Amber playing? I wish Puppy's mom would kick her out of her house. Poor Puppy, she's in love. 

I love that Malcolm walked away from Sara, leaving her alone in the restaurant guzzling his leftover wine. She really blew it, she deserves Michael. 

Indian John's wife's sister is a disgusting crackhead. Didn't John take her in so she could get clean and wasn't the mother deathly sick? Now their both just living off him and if the sister had her way she would be boning John and leaving prison sister in the dust. 

Marcelino has a lot of patience. I hope Brittney dumps her mom back in Alaska and realizes she needs to pay attention to taking care of her gazillion kids. 

Having said all that, I believe this show is totally fake. Maybe the prison sentences were real but that is all. The relationship shennanigans are all scripted. 

 

 

Brittney is the one who is going after her mother, her mother isn't coming after her.  Her mother has kept her distance, its Brittney who won't leave her alone, because Brittney needs a reality show paycheck  (IMO). 

If her mom was calling her for rides and money, I'd get it.  But all we've seen is Brittney storm off after her mother, over....and over.....and over....and over.  To the point where she saw that her mother was sober and she still insisted that she take her home.  Her mother didn't call her or ask her to come to the hotel.  Brittney did that.  

If this is Brittney's behavior and she is obsessing over her mother even when her mother isn't actively reaching out to her, I don't see how being in a different state is going to make Brittney any less obsessive or involved.  Because, its either a ploy for a reality show check .....or its who Brittney is.  

**************************************************************************************

As for John and Tara.  Ugh.  

I kinda think his home may be some sort of state-sponsored halfway house.  

His room is decorated like a college dorm room, complete with the string lights from the Target Room Basics collection.  

John, Tara and Kristianna is some trashy tee pee soap opera BS and I am HERE FOR IT!  Mother Kristiana as the greek chorus just makes it all deliciously complete.  

But I'm going to need both of them to stay fully clothed at all time.  No more towels and bare chests.  

I did like John's attitude about Kristiana's weight gain.  

Edited by RealReality
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Sarah shouldn't have answered Michael's call during her date. She's so disrespectful to Malcolm. Like Michael hasn't ignored her calls while he's with other women smh. Michael just wanted to show Malcolm he was even more in charge. Sarah looks pregnant already smh her face looks rounder and fuller. Shavel is still into Q obviously but Q seems like he loves himself some Shavel. He came all the way there and he knows his family doesn't like Shavel. Destinie is a bad person. Maybe her sis Brittany should pull a Terra and try to go with Shawn. But she doesn't seem interested lol both of their attitudes are horrible. John seems like he loves Kristianna. Her sister is wasting her time. I can't believe Amber likes men. She seems so lesbian. Her ex looks hot though,can you blame her. Puppy should move on.

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Sarah is a natural born fool.  It would be so much more entertaining if she didn't have children.

Now its all Maria's fault that Michael abandoned his children?  Sarah is so willing to buy into Michael's BS stories and lies, because she is excited that she is winning this prize from the likes of trashy Maria.  

Michael will be gone the minute he finds a better situation, and he will come back with some bullshit story about how its all that other woman's fault that he wasn't involved with his children.  

When his children grow up, he will for sure blame Sarah for him being a deadbeat dad.  And after a lifetime of learning from Sarah that Michael is accountable and responsible for anything because there was a woman who made him a deadbeat dad, they will be willing to blame Sarah, Maria, Megan and any other woman for Michael.  And they will be destined to go on and blame women when they are cheated on.  this is the future Michael and Sarah are giving their beautiful and precious daughters.  

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Parting thoughts

1.  Quaylon's "word of the day" calendar really failed him

2. How does Quaylon have all this relationship knowledge and why is Shavel buying any of it?  He went into prison at 17 and just got out.  This is the first relationship he has been in besides the one with the eggplant emoji girl...chi town?

3. Quaylon took off and could have been gone forever, Shavel has learned absolutely nothing and still has that little girl calling Quaylon daddy.

4. Why was D-Mack in the middle of a parking lot?

5. That GUCCI sticker on Malcolm's glasses looked ridiculous and sends the exact opposite message than the one he wanted to send.  I'd as soon assume that someone wearing a GUCCI sticker on their glasses discreetly took the logo sticker off a pair of GUCCI frames and put it on their $45 glasses.  The sticker isn't see through, so he knew it was there.  

6.  I LOL'd when Sarah quickly turned to the door realizing that she was left with the bill.  

7.  Shawn is annoying and pestering.  His face is also very punchable and he acts like a doormat.  Destinee knows the jig is up and she has his car and credit card.  Whatever options Shawn has, he needs to exercise them now.  She is facing 7 years in prison during a pandemic.  There is a good chance that she flees, and Shawn will lose.....gosh, how much is that bond again?  I always forget and Shawn never talks about it. 

8. Well, the Brittney situation turned out to be even worse than I thought.  

Not only is Brittney NOT putting her mother in rehab, she is forcing a woman who is in the throes of addiction (according to Brittney, not me) to face her demons on national TV.  She is willing to put her mother in an extremely high stress situation when she is at her most vulnerable so she can further humiliate and exploit her.  

Brittney, once again, acts like she is so great for having taken her mother to that empty field, and maybe she was.  But Brittney was clean and sober and wasn't struggling with addiction and a condition that ostensibly causes real physical pain, especially in stressful situations.  

Instead of putting this woman in any kind of rehab, they are going to take a woman who is addicted to pain medication....with a real pain condition that has a tendency to flare in stressful conditions....their brilliant plan is to take this addict and put her in an extremely stressful situation and then expect that she abstain from taking pain pills?  Or......are they hoping that this will push Cindy into using again, so Brittney and Marcelino can be the heroic victims and Cindy can be the villain?

The more I see her mother, the more I think she is a "people pleaser" personality and feels terrible about whatever she did.  She always just seems to agree to whatever Brittney wants. Brittney knows exactly how to break her mother and she does it over, and over and over.  Her mother clearly doesn't want to go to Alaska and "confront" her mother.  Its the one time, besides the time Brittney went over to berate her at her place that her mother seemed to really put up any kind of resistance.  And the one time her mother dared to say no, Brittney and Marcelino had no problem double teaming her into doing something she doesn't want to do.  And so for people who say that her mother signed a contract and agreed to all this...yes, she did....legally, no one can hold Brittney responsible.  But I think her actions are reprehensible.  

I agree with whomever upthread said that the best thing Cindy can do is stay in Alaska and stay away from Brittney and Marcelino.  Let them find someone else to exploit for a storyline next season.  Brittney's sister is still around, I'm sure Brittney can find a way to vilify her in time for next season.  

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7 hours ago, RealReality said:

Brittney's sister is still around, I'm sure Brittney can find a way to vilify her in time for next season.  

Didn't the sister go back to Alaska? 

8 hours ago, RealReality said:

Brittney is the one who is going after her mother, her mother isn't coming after her.  Her mother has kept her distance, its Brittney who won't leave her alone, because Brittney needs a reality show paycheck  (IMO). 

I get it and agree. The comment I made about Brittney in my post was not defending her. I meant that I feel for Marcelino for putting up with her crap, hence my comment about Marce having a lot of patience. Brittney is scum for sure but her mother was in no way a good mother to her. 

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Just an annoying reminder, Brittany is with Marcelino.  Destinie's sister is name Britnie, because of course she is.  If there are more siblings, do they all have names that end in "ie"?  Carlie, Amie, Audrie, Emilie, Kimberlie, Zoeie? Yes, I am being cranky today; can you tell?

And of course Cabbage Patch let Murgh move in with her while he's in town.  Chances that he's sleeping on the couch are zero.  I sense she has yet again accidentally fallen into his erect 😈🍆.  Please let her not have been ovulatin'.  They do not need more kids to drag into their unhealthy relationship. I did enjoy Malcolm noping out without putting don any money.  Let's see how long Murgh stays around before he finds another wallet love of his life.  

I do not for one minute think that ersatz Indian John is flirting with Tara.  He seems 100% not interested.  He is rather devoted to Kristianna, even if it is because it fits into his Bonnie and Clyde dream.  Fringe boy is simply not as radical as he would like to think he is.  I get the sense that his jacket smells incredibly bad.  We've now seen his pale, flabby body.  Once was enough show.  Let's not go back there. 

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6 hours ago, PrincessPurrsALot said:

Just an annoying reminder, Brittany is with Marcelino.  Destinie's sister is name Britnie, because of course she is.  If there are more siblings, do they all have names that end in "ie"?  Carlie, Amie, Audrie, Emilie, Kimberlie, Zoeie? Yes, I am being cranky today; can you tell?

And of course Cabbage Patch let Murgh move in with her while he's in town.  Chances that he's sleeping on the couch are zero.  I sense she has yet again accidentally fallen into his erect 😈🍆.  Please let her not have been ovulatin'.  They do not need more kids to drag into their unhealthy relationship. I did enjoy Malcolm noping out without putting don any money.  Let's see how long Murgh stays around before he finds another wallet love of his life.  

I do not for one minute think that ersatz Indian John is flirting with Tara.  He seems 100% not interested.  He is rather devoted to Kristianna, even if it is because it fits into his Bonnie and Clyde dream.  Fringe boy is simply not as radical as he would like to think he is.  I get the sense that his jacket smells incredibly bad.  We've now seen his pale, flabby body.  Once was enough show.  Let's not go back there. 

I agree about John, but I'm here for the low rent soap opera and cannot wait until a secret twin is revealed or someone falls into a coma.  LOL, you just know that jacket hasn't been washed since 1994 when he got it.  If he is as committed to that jacket as he is to Kristiana they will have a long and weird life together.  John, as a human being, looks like he smells marginally better than Clint, who gave me PigPen vibes.  Even fresh out of a shower Clint looked like he smelled bad.  I was dying when he kept piling up those random ass rocks like some low budget take on Prometheus.  without even so much as a whisper of a wind those rocks kept falling and he kept piling them up.  

I think K's sister is on drugs, I know, I know, bold of me to say and how dare I.  But her skin condition doesn't look like acne to me, it looks like someone picking at their skin until its kinda bloody.  But, she is a healthy weight, so maybe I'm wrong.  

Michael will be back with Maria or some random instagram fame ho' within the next month.  That girl is going to hear how Michael is a great dad, but its all Sarah's fault that he keeps abandoning his children.  Sarah is going to get this story too, because everytime Michael deigns to show up and watch his own children for a few days, he deserves some sort of gold medal and if he isn't immediately granted access because his occasional presence in their lives does more harm than good, he is a victim who is just trying to see his kids.  Sarah is too stupid and desperate not to fall for this.  I know she is possessed by the dick, but she needs to buy a chastity belt or something.....maybe some sort of metal underwear with a lock on it and give the key to a friend.

The thing is that Sarah is unattractive, not particularly fun, not especially witty and she is a single mom with two kids.  BUT, and before you come at me, hear me out, she could easily meet someone else....she is young, white, and blonde and she isn't in some cosmopolitan hotspot like LA, NYC or Miami where you could throw a rock and hit a dozen college educated model/actresses.  I don't know that the relationship with Malcolm was real, but she could meet someone else.  She just cares more for michael than her own children and its pretty sad.  Hell, even Chane is a better and more committed father to Lacey's children than Michael is to his own.  

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On 1/30/2021 at 12:58 AM, renatae said:

Lastly, I want to smack idiot Shawn for not telling Dustinee to fork over his car, keys, credit card and ring on the spot.

HE IS SO DUMB. She's talking all that shit while driving HIS CAR. If he reports the car stolen, which it is, she goes back to jail. Even if he doesn't want to send her back to jail, he should at least take his car back. He really is one of the most pathetic men I've ever seen.

The best part of this episode was Malcolm being like, "you really thought I'd be OK with you moving your ex in, when 'he just stayed over' is how you got your second kid? Good luck, take care" and bounced. Good for him - he's got self-esteem.

On 1/30/2021 at 4:55 PM, Andyourlittledog2 said:

wasn't watching the TV when John and K's mom were talking in the kitchen and I literally could not tell which one was speaking without looking up. That woman's voice is ridiculously low.

It is - she uses an oxygen tank so I wonder if she has emphysema. She sounds like she's been a smoker for 30 years.

I'll take John & Kristianna's family over Lindsay and Scott and Lacey and Shane any day. I didn't miss them.

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On 2/1/2021 at 12:54 AM, RealReality said:

I agree about John, but I'm here for the low rent soap opera and cannot wait until a secret twin is revealed or someone falls into a coma.  LOL, you just know that jacket hasn't been washed since 1994 when he got it.  If he is as committed to that jacket as he is to Kristiana they will have a long and weird life together.  John, as a human being, looks like he smells marginally better than Clint, who gave me PigPen vibes.  Even fresh out of a shower Clint looked like he smelled bad.  I was dying when he kept piling up those random ass rocks like some low budget take on Prometheus.  without even so much as a whisper of a wind those rocks kept falling and he kept piling them up.  

I think K's sister is on drugs, I know, I know, bold of me to say and how dare I.  But her skin condition doesn't look like acne to me, it looks like someone picking at their skin until its kinda bloody.  But, she is a healthy weight, so maybe I'm wrong.  

Michael will be back with Maria or some random instagram fame ho' within the next month.  That girl is going to hear how Michael is a great dad, but its all Sarah's fault that he keeps abandoning his children.  Sarah is going to get this story too, because everytime Michael deigns to show up and watch his own children for a few days, he deserves some sort of gold medal and if he isn't immediately granted access because his occasional presence in their lives does more harm than good, he is a victim who is just trying to see his kids.  Sarah is too stupid and desperate not to fall for this.  I know she is possessed by the dick, but she needs to buy a chastity belt or something.....maybe some sort of metal underwear with a lock on it and give the key to a friend.

The thing is that Sarah is unattractive, not particularly fun, not especially witty and she is a single mom with two kids.  BUT, and before you come at me, hear me out, she could easily meet someone else....she is young, white, and blonde and she isn't in some cosmopolitan hotspot like LA, NYC or Miami where you could throw a rock and hit a dozen college educated model/actresses.  I don't know that the relationship with Malcolm was real, but she could meet someone else.  She just cares more for michael than her own children and its pretty sad.  Hell, even Chane is a better and more committed father to Lacey's children than Michael is to his own.  

I don't know what her race has to do with anything. She's definitely not a real blonde. She's not skinny. I don't even think she's attracted to her own race or she can't get a guy of her own race maybe. If she dated white guys and was a skinny bleached blonde then yes maybe she could get someone. America is a sick place,we still have a lot of growing to do. What's wrong with Shavel? See no one cares about black girls at all smh.

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6 hours ago, ErikaMarshSmith said:

I don't know what her race has to do with anything. She's definitely not a real blonde. She's not skinny. I don't even think she's attracted to her own race or she can't get a guy of her own race maybe. If she dated white guys and was a skinny bleached blonde then yes maybe she could get someone. America is a sick place,we still have a lot of growing to do. What's wrong with Shavel? See no one cares about black girls at all smh.

Jump high, jump low i think society holds white women, particularly white blonde women as the ideal of beauty.  How many times have we seen a blonde woman as the romantic lead in a movie while someone from another race or even with a different hair color as the antagonist or "quirky best friend".  There are exceptions but I feel that those prove the rule.  Charlize Theron, Katherine hegel, January Jones, Kate hudson even Sarah Jessica Parker.  And those are just off the top of my head.  

Because this is held up as a beauty ideal in society and popular media, white, blonde and young is going to be translated to desirability.  Even if the woman in question is not particularly shapely or pretty in face.  

Shavel is no hot shakes, and her foundation choices are unfortunate.  But she is far better situated than Sarah.  I would agree that there are problems with a world where Sarah would be more desirable than shavel.  

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I find Shavel very attractive.  She has beautifully balanced features, incredible cheekbones and gorgeous skin tone.  She does need help matching her makeup to her skin.  She looks better when she doesn't do her face than when she does.  Cabbage Patch Sarah is unfortunate looking, from her cleft chin to her round face.  She's a long, bleached hair version of Peter Griffin on Family Guy.  

Lindsey fits many of the US standards for beauty.  She's young and slender with long hair.  She also has a jaw that looks like it could cut glass and a hair trigger, so nope. Not attractive at all. And then there's continuation of prison makeup while on the outside  . . . .

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23 hours ago, PrincessPurrsALot said:

And then there's continuation of prison makeup while on the outside  . . . .

^^^This. Lindsey looks like she's mashing up coffee and lotion to make hideous eyeshadow and eyeliner. Egads, her "makeup routine" for sitting around the house all day in shorts and a tank top is hideous. Can you imagine what Lindsey would look like if she was actually going out? (shudders)

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2 hours ago, hookedontv said:

^^^This. Lindsey looks like she's mashing up coffee and lotion to make hideous eyeshadow and eyeliner. Egads, her "makeup routine" for sitting around the house all day in shorts and a tank top is hideous. Can you imagine what Lindsey would look like if she was actually going out? (shudders)

giphy.gif

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12 minutes ago, PrincessPurrsALot said:
2 hours ago, hookedontv said:

^^^This. Lindsey looks like she's mashing up coffee and lotion to make hideous eyeshadow and eyeliner. Egads, her "makeup routine" for sitting around the house all day in shorts and a tank top is hideous. Can you imagine what Lindsey would look like if she was actually going out? (shudders)

giphy.gif

Same expression and everything!! 

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