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S05.E15: Portu-Girl-Bye

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The ladies head to Madeira, Portugal for some fun and sun, but the distance proves to be too much for Ashley. Karen questions Gizelle's relationship with Jamal, causing a heated discussion on whether or not Gizelle’s relationship is even real. Things get interesting when Robyn sides with Karen against her fellow green-eyed bandit — causing the two besties to be at odds.

Airdate 11.08.2020

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Really looking forward to this, since Portugal is our next trip. (When the pandemic situation finally gets better.) I’ve wanted to visit there for years!

Edited by nexxie
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Episode 15??? what did Bravo do ? film every little nook and cranny to come up with an episode for a qtr of year each Sunday night ? 

Mondays on Garfield's calendar.. 😁

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Edited by sATL
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19 hours to get from DC to Madiera / Portugal?  Why didnt they take a direct flight???  This is on my bucket list so I cant wait to see it in the daylight...

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Wendy, it’s a shame your father’s first job wasn’t with a proctologist.  Then your first name would more appropriately be Asshole.

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Did y'all know that Wendy has FOUR DEGREES????????  Good Gawd Almighty.  She's GOT to stop it already!

Grizzell has some defensive shit going on there with the Jamal business.  Wonder why?  Think the girls' restaurant is sinking like a stone??

Edited by goofygirl
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3 hours ago, sATL said:

Episode 15??? what did Bravo do ? film every little nook and cranny to come up with an episode for a qtr of year earch Sunday night ? 

Seriously.  I dread Sunday nights because I’m like, “ugh, I have to watch Potomac.”  My OCD won’t let me give up a Housewife franchise until it gets as bad as Atlanta, but I want a reprieve.  This season is a snooze.  To paraphrase from another franchise, my weave is tired.  My pantry liner is tired.  

It’s interesting that we’re getting Candiace’s best guy friend instead of Chris this year.  Wonder if there’s trouble in paradise there too.  Is Wendy the only one with an intact marriage at this juncture?

When meeting Monique, Karen’s burnt orange robe ensemble was so beautiful, and it fit her perfectly.  Gizelle wouldn’t be caught dead looking that good from the neck down.  Monique, hard as it is for me to admit, had a really cute red and white striped top that also really fit her well and was flattering.  Why do some women get it and some don’t?  

Monique is such a liar that she doesn’t want the fight between her and Candiace to screw up Karen’s friendship with Candiace!  Liar!  When Karen told Monique that Karen and Candiace were going to be fine, Monique looked like she tasted bad soup.  Monique completely wants the Candiace-Karen friendship to implode.  She wants everyone to take her side against Candiace, and I don’t believe anything she says otherwise.  

Ashley and Monique are completely operating off of a quid pro quo scenario.  I am not sure how much they particularly like each other, but they have each others’ backs.  They’re coalition-building.  Fine, have it.  No one else seems that keen on them.  

Ashley is so impressed that Monique didn’t tell other people that Ashley and Michael had—according to Ashley—brought other women into their sexual relationship?  So what?  Aren’t they “friends”?  Isn’t that what friends are supposed to do?

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Karen girl id take several seats with this man needs to be with you at all times thing you got going on .. Ray dont wanna be around you at all tries to get rid of you and cant wait to be off the phone with you .. you about to fall off that high horse you just put yourself on ..

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7 minutes ago, LibertarianSlut said:

It’s interesting that we’re getting Candiace’s best guy friend instead of Chris this year.  Wonder if there’s trouble in paradise there too.  

I thought this was weird, too. Honestly I like Broke Chris so much better than Candiace. I don't know how those two got together -- they seem so different. Chris is laid back and kinda cool, Candiace is high-strung and pretentious. 

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Oh my God, in Portugal, Ashley, girl, you’re an attractive woman, but it’s not the time to have the gut hanging out at the restaurant, especially with the giant, milk-infused breasts and barely any cloth in between.  At least Candiace’s dress was so pretty that it made up for Ashley’s look.    

I fell out at Gizelle just asking straight up whether Ashely and Michael were getting it in, “speaking of poon-poon.”  So shady!  I love when Gizelle gives and gets shade.  So, pivoting right to Karen calling Gizelle out on Jamal’s whereabouts was perfection for me.  Gizelle thinks she should get a pass from Robyn regarding Jamal?  Under what theory?  Hell to the no.  They all need to call each other out on their shit at least once in awhile, or the franchise gets stale.  

I do love that Robyn doesn’t back down to Gizelle even though she’s quiet.  This happened last year in the Caymans and now it happened again—Gizelle got Robyn alone, thought she was going to fold, Robyn didn’t fold, and Gizelle winds up sort of surprised and shrugging and realizing she is not going to get one over on Robyn.  Nice.  

I know I’m going to hell, but it’s so funny that Ashely specifically told Michael to call her no matter what the time zone, and then the producers put up the chyron of “Ashely’s attempt to call Michael #2” and him hanging up on her for “molest[ing]” him.  Bet she’s wishing she filed that post nup that they talked about earlier in the season that went nowhere now.  

Karen for the win this episode—telling Monique she would have gone to the police too, asking Gizelle about Jamal, and then asking Ashley if she thinks Michael’s refusal to answer the phone (again) is indicative of Michael cheating (again).  I like this Karen so much more than Etiquette Karen or Big Sister Karen.  

Ashley with the electronic pumper at the table with her bra up was tacky and passive-aggressive.  So what if it’s legal?  So is spitting in a garbage can from three feet away, but that doesn’t make it appropriate.  Why can’t she do that in the restroom?  It really feels like Ashely is screaming that she is queen shit for finally having had a baby after all of those years of Michael’s pull-out game.  Ashely has no identify outside of “mother” now, and it seems like she’s sad and desperate, not celebratory the way she’d have us believe.  I changed my mind from last week—I don’t think Ashley has postpartum depression as much as I think Ashley thought having a baby would solve all of her problems, and she’s realizing it didn’t.  

Portugal seemed like a great country, and I’d like to go there (and Spain) when this quarantine is over, and I liked Portugal as a place for these women to go to get away from Monique and to pick up the pace of the show.  

With the exception of perhaps Robyn, they all hide shit and try to spin shit to make it look better, so Gizelle and Karen should both get off their high horses with each other about sharing.  They are both guilty of the same thing, but style points to Karen for referring to Gizelle as “Satan” to her face and getting away with it.  

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35 minutes ago, nb360 said:

I thought this was weird, too. Honestly I like Broke Chris so much better than Candiace. I don't know how those two got together -- they seem so different. Chris is laid back and kinda cool, Candiace is high-strung and pretentious. 

Bruh ain't paying rent. I'd be laid back and cool too.

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Wendy, stop!! So annoying. I don’t think she’ll be happy until they all genuflect and tell her how impressed they are by her many accomplishments. Ugh. Although I did love the story she told about how she got her name. More of that Wendy, please.

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I’m not a mother, so, I honestly don’t know, but, is it that important for Dean to see his parents faces before he falls asleep?  I know it’s what Ashley wants, but, does it really matter?

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3 hours ago, Axie said:

I’m not a mother, so, I honestly don’t know, but, is it that important for Dean to see his parents faces before he falls asleep?  I know it’s what Ashley wants, but, does it really matter?

I'm child-free as well, so I really don't know. But, I thought it was partially an excuse to get Michael's cheating ass home by 7pm every night while she's away.  

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Michael said early on he didn’t want more kids. Not sure why he gave in but a player in his 60s obviously doesn’t want to rush home to a baby. 

Four degrees of asshole can go. I can’t stand her because of her constant bragging, I’m sure her husbands family is even less likely to mend things with him when they see her. 
 

Gizelle can’t have it both ways. If shes going to be as messy as she is, people are going to come at her for cheater cheater pumpkin eater, wasn't that her own pet name for him?

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8 hours ago, NowVoyager said:

I'm child-free as well, so I really don't know. But, I thought it was partially an excuse to get Michael's cheating ass home by 7pm every night while she's away.  

that won't work for long, if that was the motivation . Two scenarios - 

  • Baby goes down at 7-8, Michael's at the club by 9.  Easy to get a secret sitter for a sleeping baby.
  • Baby goes down at 7-8. Baby's too young to be a witness and will sleep soundly until his next feeding. Private, albeit quiet (ie no screamers), house festivities starts at 9.

Point really is - if someone wants to cheat - a curfew isn't going to stop them.

Edited by sATL
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8 hours ago, StillHere said:

Bruh ain't paying rent. I'd be laid back and cool too.

But neither does Candiace.

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I thought they were going to mainland Portugal, but I'm sooooooo jealous their trip is to Madeira.  That, Cape Verde, and the Canary Islands are on my bucket list.

Karen did not come to play with Gizelle during this episode or on WWHL.  And Gizelle didn't even know what to do with herself.  I also watched a bit of that other after show with Gizelle, Porsha, the lady from yacht show, and some other chick I've never seen before in my life, and Gizelle was still like

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Karen's right. She can't come on with a fake storyline, based on her fake-ass relationship, and never make it a part of the conversation all while putting everyone else and their relationships on blast.  

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Even as a fake storyline, Jamal is all kinds of bad (despite the religious bullshit he and Gizelle shovel) - their daughters must be horrified and confused.

Edited by nexxie
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11 hours ago, nb360 said:

I thought this was weird, too. Honestly I like Broke Chris so much better than Candiace. I don't know how those two got together -- they seem so different. Chris is laid back and kinda cool, Candiace is high-strung and pretentious. 

Then again, Candiace made a name for herself during her first season by describing his genitals. Given that, I can see why Chris might want to limit his screen time.

I hope this is the very last episode in which Wendy's education is discussed. Move on, Doc.

Robyn is definitely the Greek chorus on this show. I like that she didn't back down on Gizelle. Ashley can talk about how Karen was waiting to shade Gizelle, but Karen's point was fair and relevant to both Gizelle and Ashley. Don't base your on-screen personality on being nosy, intrusive, and "holding people accountable" for their personal lives then turn around and ask them to respect your privacy and boundaries when you have personal problems.

I hope Candiace and Karen remain friends. It's hilarious to watch Candiace (and Robyn) react to Karen's shenanigans. 

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I lived for everyone's faces when Karen called Gizelle Satan. And the Bravo editors made sure to throw in every single camera angle to show each reaction. As Dulce said on WWHL, viewers live for Karen's southern shade.

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11 hours ago, LibertarianSlut said:

I dread Sunday nights because I’m like, “ugh, I have to watch Potomac.”

Consensus.

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1 hour ago, Vanderboom said:

Then again, Candiace made a name for herself during her first season by describing his genitals. Given that, I can see why Chris might want to limit his screen time.

I hope this is the very last episode .in which Wendy's education is discussed. Move on, Doc

Robyn is definitely the Greek chorus on this show. I like that she didn't back down on Gizelle. Ashley can talk about how Karen was waiting to shade Gizelle, but Karen's point was fair and relevant to both Gizelle and Ashley. Don't base your on-screen personality on being nosy, intrusive, and "holding people accountable" for their personal lives then turn around and ask them to respect your privacy and boundaries when you have personal problems.

I hope Candiace and Karen remain friends. It's hilarious to watch Candiace (and Robyn) react to Karen's shenanigans. 

Doubt it. It will be Andy's first time meeting her and hubby. She will find a way to work it in...

It could be a simple lead in from Andy - " have you given any more thoughts about your professorship position? "

Edited by sATL
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3 hours ago, luckyroll3 said:

But neither does Candiace.

 

So, that call about buying new luggage with her mom was totally about her mom buying her new luggage right?  I wonder if she still has a credit card where the bill goes to her mom, like I did when I was in college cross country from my parents?  (That I never used unless I cleared it with them first.)

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So far I'm not seeing what is so delightful about Wendy. 

Oh, yes, let's not forget the butter knife incident. Candyass is the worst. I've disliked her from day one and just because Monique wrongly pummeled her ass isn't going to make me like her more now. 

Gizelle was always my favorite but damn, the woman is testing me.  Wake up! You don't need Jamal. Not one single bit. It won't be better the second time around.

p.s. I still don't think this relationship is real, it's for the show because Gizzy has nothing else going on in her life. Must stay relevant in order to keep your place on the show and keep collecting checks!

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33 minutes ago, bichonblitz said:

p.s. I still don't think this relationship is real, it's for the show because Gizzy has nothing else going on in her life. Must stay relevant in order to keep your place on the show and keep collecting checks!

^^^^THIS.

Gizelle understands that the easiest way to keep your business out of the streets is to be the shit-stirrer and not the one whose shit is getting stirred. She stays on the "well I heard..." "well the streets said..." tip because she understands that if production identifies you as the catalyst for raising issues in the group, you don't need to keep a robust storyline going. She stays on offense so as to never have to play defense. Karen is the only one of the group who tries to take her to task and push back.

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As much as I'm Team Candiace on the subject of the fight (only, because Candiace is otherwise annoying). I kind of respect Ashley being completely honest about why she is writing a character statement - Monique and Chris had Ashley and Michael's back last year, and so she's repaying the favor. Now, it's unfortunate that Ashley had to defend Michael, who I think probably did assault that cameraman and it's frustrating that - as Robyn pointed out - she's taking the blame for Michael's infidelities, but I like that she's not being coy about why.

None of that excuses Monique for still trying to pretend like she's the victim in this whole thing. 

I liked Wendy's story about how she got her name, but I don't know why she started it with mentioning once more again some more that she has four degrees. 

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6 hours ago, luckyroll3 said:

But neither does Candiace.

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That’s Dorothy and her offspring’s money.

What is he doing to create generational wealth? Chris Bassett is a middle-aged white man.

In the context of the Real Housewives universe, and using bougie princess logic, Bruh is an “Ain’t Shit _____”.

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15 minutes ago, eleanorofaquitaine said:

Now, it's unfortunate that Ashley had to defend Michael, who I think probably did assault that cameraman and it's frustrating that - as Robyn pointed out - she's taking the blame for Michael's infidelities, but I like that she's not being coy about why.

And she's looking "more stupider" with each infidelity.

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The white of Ashley's eye is fire engine red...what happened?

1 hour ago, bichonblitz said:

Gizelle was always my favorite but damn, the woman is testing me.  Wake up! You don't need Jamal. Not one single bit. It won't be better the second time around.

I always say, your ex is an ex for a reason. 

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1 hour ago, StillHere said:

That’s Dorothy and her offspring’s money.

What is he doing to create generational wealth? Chris Bassett is a middle-aged white man.

In the context of the Real Housewives universe, and using bougie princess logic, Bruh is an “Ain’t Shit _____”.

Because I am loathing my boss at the moment and don't want to do any work, after reading your comment I did a little googling about Chris and his so-called restaurant. There is not one photo of him in the series of several photos on the restaurant's Facebook page. Did see a couple of local articles that mention him, BUT as an investor whose wife is on this show. He probably invested $! so they could call him that and try to draw some publicity on the back of the show.

It is interesting how we are seeing so little of him this season and I really wonder about this relationship. There's no warmth or passion that I can see. 

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18 hours ago, FlyingEgret said:

19 hours to get from DC to Madiera / Portugal?  Why didnt they take a direct flight???  This is on my bucket list so I cant wait to see it in the daylight...

Availability. There are only five flights a week to Lisbon out of DC and from DC I don’t think you can not at least stop in Lisbon to get to Madeira. 

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18 hours ago, LibertarianSlut said:

 

Ashley and Monique are completely operating off of a quid pro quo scenario.  I am not sure how much they particularly like each other, but they have each others’ backs.  They’re coalition-building.  Fine, have it.  No one else seems that keen on them.  

Ashley is so impressed that Monique didn’t tell other people that Ashley and Michael had—according to Ashley—brought other women into their sexual relationship?  So what?  Aren’t they “friends”?  Isn’t that what friends are supposed to do?

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I think Ashley is already working to isolate Monique and get her off the show. 

I believe Ashley's crocodile tears as much as I believe that Michael isn't going to be going out grabbing butts while she is gone.  

Monique is going to be ride or die for Ashley, but she is too stupid to see that Ashley isn't ride or die for anyone.  

Everytime Ashley gets that fakey, high pitched voice, I know she is about to talk some bullshit.  She doesn't want to be friends with Candace, she wants to try to keep her spot on the show by pretending she is neutral like Karen.  

and ITA with you about Monique.  Her first, unsuccessful step was to invite the girls to her podcast.  She is hoping to get back into the group and make Candace the outcast.  That countersuit is the wrong move.  

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1 hour ago, politichick said:

Because I am loathing my boss at the moment and don't want to do any work, after reading your comment I did a little googling about Chris and his so-called restaurant. There is not one photo of him in the series of several photos on the restaurant's Facebook page. Did see a couple of local articles that mention him, BUT as an investor whose wife is on this show. He probably invested $! so they could call him that and try to draw some publicity on the back of the show.

It is interesting how we are seeing so little of him this season and I really wonder about this relationship. There's no warmth or passion that I can see. 

I feel like he got such blowback for being older and a deadbeat dad that he may not want to be on the show as much anymore.  It sounds like he chop it up with Michael, so there is that.  

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24 minutes ago, politichick said:

Because I am loathing my boss at the moment and don't want to do any work, after reading your comment I did a little googling about Chris and his so-called restaurant. There is not one photo of him in the series of several photos on the restaurant's Facebook page. Did see a couple of local articles that mention him, BUT as an investor whose wife is on this show. He probably invested $! so they could call him that and try to draw some publicity on the back of the show.

It is interesting how we are seeing so little of him this season and I really wonder about this relationship. There's no warmth or passion that I can see. 

That's not surprising. Dorothy and her spawn have been trying trying to build Bruh up for years. Being a regular dude is fine but Candiace's virulent classism, the way she tosses out "ghetto" and "hood rat", doesn't extend to the man she and her family are taking care of.  My roots are in the hood. I'm now hood-adjacent and I'm not ashamed for it. 

Candiace is so heinous on camera, one can only imagine what a monster she is behind it. Chris runs his mouth on social media a lot more than is captured on the show. I can't with these two.

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3 hours ago, eleanorofaquitaine said:

Now, it's unfortunate that Ashley had to defend Michael, who I think probably did assault that cameraman and it's frustrating that - as Robyn pointed out - she's taking the blame for Michael's infidelities, but I like that she's not being coy about why.

None of that excuses Moniq

Ashley, like Monique, is always looking for ways to control the narrative....she is just more successful at it than Monique. 

Ashley is a much more sympathetic figure as the teary eyed wife of a no-good cad than she is a strategic gold digger who may or may not be a beard for a creepy old dude.  I'm not even shitting all over being a gold-digger, but its just not sympathetic as the Orphan Annie meets Eliza Doolittle routine she is pulling. 

Ashley the victim, however stupid she looks, is just a more sympathetic character, which is why I think she is doing all this on camera.  I didn't see a single tear, I just heard some bad acting.  With someone like Ashley you trust half of what you see and none of what you hear.  

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18 hours ago, Stats Queen said:

Wendy brought up her degrees again - and in reference to Karen and her’s conversation when everyone thought this was already resolved.

LOL, I've been in job interviews and haven't discussed my degrees as much as Wendy has. 

And Wendy was soooo close, that story about her father naming her Wendy was the PERFECT thing to button up the degree discussion.  It was a cute little anecdote and it made her point about the importance of educational accomplishments.  

Like why the hell do you need to talk about how many pages your dissertation was?7  The only thing I learned was that dissertations have dedications, and honestly, between the dedication page and the TOC and numerous citations, I'd bet that dissertation was not 170 pages.  

 

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