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S05.E14: To Love and to Obey?

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Elizabeth's brother threatens her wedding with Andrei; Kalani and Asuelu's families go head to head; Angela receives news; Paul and Karine say their goodbyes; Larissa's surgery does not go as expected; Colt turns over a new leaf.

Airs September 13, 2020.

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I’m just starting to watch. Libby looks really rough today. Then Jenn gives her a makeover

Edited to add, don't people usually accentuate the "cupid's bow" in their lips instead of obliterating it? 

ACC4C431-2455-46B2-A134-6DA3B727ACF6.jpeg

160B03C8-35F6-4784-AAAE-ECBF25618089.jpeg

Edited by magemaud
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12 hours ago, magemaud said:

I’m just starting to watch. Libby looks really rough today. Then Jenn gives her a makeover

Edited to add, don't people usually accentuate the "cupid's bow" in their lips instead of obliterating it? 

ACC4C431-2455-46B2-A134-6DA3B727ACF6.jpeg

160B03C8-35F6-4784-AAAE-ECBF25618089.jpeg

I would NOT allow the "tell her she looks nice in the car because we need to get out of here" relative to beautiful me. 

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I'm unnaturally excited about watching Mother Aseulu and Father Kalani talk to each other. In the last episode, Aseulu told Kalani that she needs to stay out of his family's business. And yet here's Mother Aseulu looking forward to asking Low for cash...

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18 minutes ago, mamadrama said:

I'm unnaturally excited about watching Mother Aseulu and Father Kalani talk to each other. In the last episode, Aseulu told Kalani that she needs to stay out of his family's business. And yet here's Mother Aseulu looking forward to asking Low for cash...

My guess is Daddy Low won't punch out Mama A. but Mommy Kalani will be glad to do that.    Actually, I'd like to punch Mama A's lights out for the remarks about letting the grandchildren be homeless and hungry, as long as Mama A. gets all of the money. 

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7 minutes ago, CrazyInAlabama said:

My guess is Daddy Low won't punch out Mama A. but Mommy Kalani will be glad to do that.    Actually, I'd like to punch Mama A's lights out for the remarks about letting the grandchildren be homeless and hungry, as long as Mama A. gets all of the money. 

It won't be half as exciting as I want it to be. 

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1 hour ago, mamadrama said:

I would NOT allow the "tell her she looks nice in the car because we need to get out of here" relative to beautiful me. 

Jenn has those bold, dark, (what I call) "hairy caterpillar" looking eyebrows that are popular today and that's the look she went for with Libby. Personally, I think they look as unnatural as the pencil thin ones that were popular last week. During one of the episodes recently there was an ad for a brow product where the woman complained about having "sparse brows." I wish mine were that sparse, they looked perfect to me in the "before" shots. After the makeup artist used the product, she had overpowering unnatural looking brows that resembled Jenn's. 

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9 minutes ago, magemaud said:

My favorite line in the sneak peek was when Asuelu told his mother, "Make your angry go down." I want to use that in my daily conversation

Maybe on a teeshirt or mug!

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Just now, lilysmom said:

Maybe on a teeshirt or mug!

Or a mousepad! Or in keeping with the times, a face mask. I could custom order it from Cafe Press or Zazzle! 

1 hour ago, AussieBabe said:

Libby looks half dead  EXACTLY like her father without make-up.

FTFY

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19 hours ago, magemaud said:

I’m just starting to watch. Libby looks really rough today. Then Jenn gives her a makeover

Edited to add, don't people usually accentuate the "cupid's bow" in their lips instead of obliterating it? 

ACC4C431-2455-46B2-A134-6DA3B727ACF6.jpeg

160B03C8-35F6-4784-AAAE-ECBF25618089.jpeg

Maybe she’s going for the Bette Davis look?

41017185-89FC-43CE-B861-99A7B9EA012B.jpeg

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3 hours ago, magemaud said:

I am strongly convinced that "friend for about a year Steve" is actually a therapist. Just the way he asked Colt questions and the advice he gave sounded like he was leading some kind of session, not just chatting with a buddy. 

I’m going to go with “life coach” that Central Casting sent down for that scene. At least Steve had a little bit more on the ball than our friend, Jesse although Steve did have his own version of “you need to work on yourself, babe.” 

I was glad Coltee didn’t shake the guy’s hand after using it to wipe the vomit off his mouth.

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52 minutes ago, Irsel32 said:

Maybe she’s going for the Bette Davis look?

I remember comments to that effect last season, especially about her lipstick 

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1 minute ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

I’m going to go with “life coach” that Central Casting sent down for that scene

That gives me a great idea. Why not let ASH be Colt’s relationship coach (or does he only work with women?) He could teach Colt about his Nothing Box 

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13 hours ago, magemaud said:

That gives me a great idea. Why not let ASH be Colt’s relationship coach (or does he only work with women?) He could teach Colt about his Nothing Box 

Colt IS a Nothing Box.

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4 hours ago, AZChristian said:

Colt IS a Nothing Box.

refrigerator size!

The camera crew must have had a great time filming him working out. That awkward exercise montage was hilarious with him trying to look like he was Rocky Balboa, followed by his vomiting. 

Edited by magemaud
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`I can understand Kalani not wanting to see Mama and Sister Asuelu again but I feel like she always has her family fight her battles for her. Asuelu is a dumbass but the way Kalani tattles to her sister and mother about everything few men could put up with that. Though I admit I am here for the battle between Kalani's parents and Mama Asuelu.

Colt and Larissa are just milking the TLC teat now and they need to be off the show. Basically everyone this season has worn out their welcome at this point.

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On 9/10/2020 at 11:56 AM, magemaud said:

Jenn has those bold, dark, (what I call) "hairy caterpillar" looking eyebrows that are popular today and that's the look she went for with Libby. 

giphy.gif

Edited by Trackdawg · Reason: is Nosaer backwards.
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Jenn, shouldn't you have used a makeup sponge to do Libby's concealer? Just sayin'. Maybe it was hygienic to use the fingers if it came out of a tube or something. You should have washed your hands or had a wet cloth or towel to keep yourself clean. Libby's hair went from that messy bun to a decent style. Her traditional outfit was nothing to sneeze at.

Andrei and his brother and friend got in to the booze early in the AM. So Andrei has secrets yet? Oh, you don't tell that on a show that is being filmed. Unfortunately some secrets do have a way of coming out.

No Asuelu mom and sister, Asuelu is not going to pack everyone in the car to pick you up. At least they are staying in a hotel. He did stand up to them - sort of - and I hope they do listen and respect Kalani. Sure, get a divorce Asuelu and you can go back to Samoa and make even less money. Maybe down the road you can help out your mom more, but you are young, you don't have a good job, and make little money. Kalani's parents should not be helping the both of you out and funding you so you can send every dime to your greedy mother.

The plastic surgeon's office looked rather swanky. Couldn't care less about Larissa's procedures. She may need to spend time fixing her inside.

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This show.....abusers (Pole and others), sex addicts (Coltee), Larissa wanting to look like a sex doll, etc etc etc.  All so much acting for the cameras (except Pole who is plain dangerous and shouldn’t be on the show).   
I’m rather over it.  I miss the more real people of the early seasons.  If these next seasons are more Colt, Larissa, Andrei, Erikee, Family Libby, Pole that we’ve seen the last 3367643 seasons, I’m out.  

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Spoiler

Just saw another snippet of a preview. Looks like Sunday will take a sad turn from Grangela goes from talking about whipped cream on her wedding night to getting a call from Skyla that her mother is unresponsive and an ambulance is there.

I want a fresh crop of new and real couples. I’m tired of the clout chasers, scammers, and attention whores. I’m also tired of people like Deavan saying to hell with the NDA and spilling her guts in long rambling soliloquies. Mykull and Grangela should’ve been booted like Azan and Nickel when their K1 visa application was denied. They’re no longer doing the K1 so byeeee. Another couple could be filmed. I miss couples like Evelyn/Justin who just had their first child. I miss people like Amy and Danny. Their stories were real and had their own drama due to cultural differences and bigoted family members. Scrap everybody from Happily Ever After!

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 Most of these people can get off my screen.

If Grangela ever gets Mahckle to the US, we can look forward to "And ya aint gittin no Green Card niether!! I wont ya OUT! Go back to Nijurrrya!!" Being spewed every other day. 

 

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On 9/10/2020 at 4:14 PM, AussieBabe said:

I’m tired of [Libby] acting like she’s not already married with a whole child.

As opposed to...what? A half child? 😂

I'm honestly just wondering what you were thinking...😉

Although with Libby and Andrei the sky's the limit I suppose!

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In the preview, Dr. Smith tells Larissa that he's done this surgery 20,000 times without anything serious happening and he doesn't plan for anything to happen now.  But, last week's preview included the clip of Eric-ee's panic that Larissa stopped breathing (or something equally dramatic) during the surgery. 

Both just show how Larissa is as fake as her body parts, her relationship with Eric-ee and as fake as Colt's being a ladie's man.  It's in the realm of unbelievable.

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I watched the 30 minute preview and it was boring.   The minister asked Angela to obey, so we KNOW that will be a "thing."  

This may be harsh but I feel nothing for Angela being far from home.  Your elderly mother is seriously ill, perhaps you should not be chasing Nigerian tail.

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1 hour ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

Your elderly mother is seriously ill, perhaps you should not be chasing Nigerian tail.

I'm not sure it's the "tail" she wants . . . it's the part in front of it.

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2 hours ago, AZChristian said:

I'm not sure it's the "tail" she wants . . . it's the part in front of it.

She’s dominant so she may use a strap-on on him.

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Libby and her family show what a bunch of disirespectful, jingoistic ignoramuses they are in the scenes as Libby gets ready for her wedding:

  • The segment opens with that world-renown Moldovan accordian, merry-go-round music.
  • Libby says, "I wasn't sure if I wanted to do it or not, but I'm ready to get it over with."
  • Jenn laughs at the traditional garb on the hanger and says, "You're going to look so cute, little old woman."
  • Jenn buckles over in laughter at Libby, fully-dressed, again saying, "You look like a little Moldovan lady," while Libby makes dumb faces and voices.  Jenn says it again as they descend the stairway.
  • The mother forces herself to tell Libby that she looks beautiful, after gasping.
  • Libby says, "I don't feel like I'm getting married right now.  I feel like I'm a Haloween costume.  But, this is Andrrrei's culture."  Meanwhile, she's wearing clown make-up, thanks to Jenn.

Rather than speaking positively of Andre's explanation of his past and apology to her, or just telling Jenn to mind her own business, Libby, of course, had to portray herself as the victim, who still has doubts, but empowers herself by declaring that she is choosing to believe him for the sake of their 2nd wedding.

The most realistic part of the segment was the groom and groomsmen laughing at Andre's looking more like Chuck.  In the groom's scenes, the strong similarity between block-y head Baby Eleanor and Andrei's brother is really noticeable.  (The baby, of course, is with Andrei's parents.)

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39 minutes ago, Grifter Lives said:

The mother forces herself to tell Libby that she looks beautiful, after gasping

Dough Faced Chuck says, “You look...beautiful. Different...but beautiful” 

(someone should tell him about that clump of hair sticking up in the back of his sweaty combover) 

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20 hours ago, TwirlyGirly said:

As opposed to...what? A half child? 😂

I'm honestly just wondering what you were thinking...😉

Although with Libby and Andrei the sky's the limit I suppose!

Things picked up from my little humans! Everything is "whole" with them. My oldest daughter literally asked. "Isn't she married with a wholeeee baby? Doing too much, Libby. Doing way too much." 😂

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Just now, Kangatush said:

He's generally not my type, but Moldovan dress Andrei was pretty hot.

Yes, the shirt was flattering on him.  It's funny the way Syngin's and Andrreeei's friends both comment on how they can tell they have been in America because they have gained weight. 

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5 minutes ago, endure said:

Why didn't Angela's friend Sissy ask all her stupid questions and comments before they got married, I thought she was rude.

YESSS!  That was so offensive and to do it after the wedding, what the hell??  She was great the whole trip and then that came out! 

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7 minutes ago, Kangatush said:

He's generally not my type, but Moldovan dress Andrei was pretty hot.

He was very hot tonight 💘 I love when he is not angsty and smiles.

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Poor Eric, I think that was pretty overwhelming for him even before he had to take her home in that condition. Why do people do that to themselves *shudder*

Edited by endure
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Charlie needs to get his ass kicked.  I hadn't thought about the sibling jealousy.  I didn't know there were that many siblings! 

I was trying to figure out where Paul and Karine were driving in Louisville.  The armory-looking building looked familiar--the one withe the display guns on the outside.  @mamadrama, could you tell where that was? 

That wedding was something!  I can't imagine the cost of that.  IT was beautiful, though!

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When I see vile people pretending to celebrate something sacred like marriage, it makes me ill.  Very disgusting. I was embarrassed for them. ( Andre and Libby)

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Is Andrrrrei adopted? He towers over his mom and dad.  They must have a lot of relatives judging by the crowds at the reception.

Mother Ansuelu must be getting paid by TLC surely. This is a very lucrative gig for her.

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I liked Libby's traditional Moldovan wedding gown. However, she had to make digs about it. At least Moldovan women know how to put lipstick on properly, Libby.  That family is snooty and tasteless. Andrreeeiiii fits in beautifully. I'm still  think he was adopted or dropped off by some defrosted cave people. . And I'm not sorry but Libby is not attractive. Maybe she has a nice body but she has a butter face. Also, Andrrreeiii is not fat. He sure likes showing off his body.  My theory is he'll trade in Libby in a couple of years. 

Assuelo behaviour is odd. He goes from supporting Kalani one minute and then telling her she's a fucking asshole the next. Their marriage will not work long term. He's too infantile and sexist.  The sister Tammy is a piece of work and if anyone should apologize it is her. She almost physically attacked Kalani in Washington. Family should not expect money. It's a nice gesture to help out but expect financial support is bothersome.  

I skipped through the Ericee and Larissa part.

Coltee barfing in the trash can was a real delight. Thanks TLC. The male friend was definitely hired on. I don't think Coltee has many male friends. They would be competition for Sir Gagahad. He strikes me as a guy who only likes to chat up females online and send pics of his  gherkin dick to the women of the world. Meanwhile, Debbie is in the other room with the catnip, a bottle of Schnapps getting lit and playing online poker. 

Michael and Angie finally got hitched She can no longer use the classic stomp off: "We're done. The Weddin' is Off!!!"  Perhaps she'll switch it to: "We're DONE! Gittin' divorced.  No Green card for y'all. MIKULL you're goin' back to Nigeria!!!!" 

Edited by Barbara Please
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35 minutes ago, Barbara Please said:

I liked Libby's traditional Moldovan wedding gown. However, she had to make digs about it. At least Moldovan women know how to put lipstick on properly, Libby.  That family is snooty and tasteless. Andrreeeiiii fits in beautifully. I'm still  think he was adopted or dropped off by some defrosted cave people. . And I'm not sorry but Libby is not attractive. Maybe she has a nice body but she has a butter face. Also, Andrrreeiii is not fat. He sure likes showing off his body.  My theory is he'll trade in Libby in a couple of years. 

Assuelo behaviour is odd. He goes from supporting Kalani one minute and then telling her she's a fucking asshole the next. Their marriage will not work long term. He's too infantile and sexist.  The sister Tammy is a piece of work and if anyone should apologize it is her. She almost physically attacked Kalani in Washington. Family should not expect money. It's a nice gesture to help out but expect financial support is bothersome.  

I skipped through the Ericee and Larissa part.

Coltee barfing in the trash can was a real delight. Thanks TLC. The male friend was definitely hired on. I don't think Coltee has many male friends. They would be competition for Sir Gagahad. He strikes me as a guy who only likes to chat up females online and send pics of his  gherkin dick to the women of the world. Meanwhile, Debbie is in the other room with the catnip, a bottle of Schnapps getting lit and playing online poker. 

Michael and Angie finally got hitched She can no longer use the classic stomp off: "We're done. The Weddin' is Off!!!"  Perhaps she'll switch it to: "We're DONE! Gittin' divorced.  No Green card for y'all. MIKULL you're goin' back to Nigeria!!!!" 

Perhaps? 

Angela is going to be Angela whether they got married or not.

On 9/12/2020 at 3:05 PM, TwirlyGirly said:

As opposed to...what? A half child? 😂

I'm honestly just wondering what you were thinking...😉

Although with Libby and Andrei the sky's the limit I suppose!

"Whole" is just an expression. 

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1 hour ago, suzywallis said:

 

Charlie needs to get his ass kicked.  I hadn't thought about the sibling jealousy.  I didn't know there were that many siblings! 

 

I thought Chuck has ten kids. 

41 minutes ago, Barbara Please said:

Maybe she has a nice body but she has a butter face.

She and her sisters. They look like Chuck, who looks like Porky Pig.

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I have a feeling that wasn’t the first time Larissa told Ericky not to touch her.

Great move serving tomato soup after a bloody surgery. 
 
It seems like no one ate their food at the Big Bear Diner.

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