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S05.E15: Shot Through the Heart, and Ibiza's to Blame

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I had to rewind the conversation about boat romances to understand that Aesha was saying "six" and not "sex."  

Between the (to me) accents of Bugsy and Aesha, the nonsensical muttering fights of Rob and Jess, the Sandiness of Sandy and the Malianess of Malia, the invisibility of Pete, and the relative closed-mouthed-ness of Tom (when he's not meowing???? at Malia or deciding her name was gourgey????) the only person I can or want to understand talking is Alex.

So instead I have made a game of Spot-the-Pete instead.  Not that I want to see him, but it really is impressive how much they have cut him out.  He's in the wide shots of greeting guests, and sometimes in the background working, but that's about it.  

Poor anonymous dock guy trying to catch Rob's rope throws.

 

Edited by Jobiska · Reason: Quarantine brain has shot my spelling all to hell.
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19 hours ago, chenoa333 said:

So Malia radios Sandy to tell her Jessica is having heart palpitations and Sandie says "tell her to come see me".

Wouldn't/shouldn't the captain go to where Jess is instead of making Jess walk to the captain? Heart palpitations can be a serious issue but once again...Sandie only cares about who she likes and who kisses her ass.

Actually, it looked like she was alone in the wheelhouse.  Someone has to be there at all times.  So, the captain was stuck.  They put Jessica in the shower before taking her up there.  And she's the drama queen of all time.

 

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Was Tom’s “I’ll call you Gourgey” possibly short for gorgeous? Nice if so, for her sake, though an appalling abbreviation. I’m a firm believer that if you’re invested in a relationship with someone, you should think that person is gorgeous or whatever adjective you prefer.

Even if others think your person is a twat. 😁

I wish Jess had the emotional chops to dump Rob, or dial it back to just a fun boat crush or something. She also knows she has jealousy issues but doesn’t try to reel herself in or, you know, pursue a different path than the one that seems to have led to zero times working out before. Not that I don’t think Rob isn’t one of those “I’m so ComPleX, only you have EvEr UnDerStOod poor little me!” guys who are instead appallingly simple, and claim sensitivity and empathy when they’re far more likely to be opportunistic assholes who will pick any fight to get out of a situation the moment it takes a little effort. 

I appreciate Aesha and felt for her not feeling quite in sync with the others yet. Her face in the van headed out looked so glum. But production decrees thou must get wasted! 

I loved how she was so instantly “hell no” to Jess inquiring if she and Jack had exchanged I love yous. Jess’s snark in her TH did not endear her to me.

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1 hour ago, HouseofBeck said:

 

I appreciate Aesha and felt for her not feeling quite in sync with the others yet. Her face in the van headed out looked so glum. But production decrees thou must get wasted! 

I loved how she was so instantly “hell no” to Jess inquiring if she and Jack had exchanged I love yous. Jess’s snark in her TH did not endear her to me.

I liked that too.   I am liking Aesha a lot more this season.  Surprised no one has mentioned that she called Bugs shit stain in joking.  

Also tired of Bugs and her artsy crafty glitter crap.  And that Gatsby party was lame.  Of course the guests were too wasted to notice.

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Johnny D- not a good look at all. I wonder if he is embarrassed at all. 
I know that they have been hiding Pete, but was he even out to dinner with them? Not even a glimpse of him, which was strange. 

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On 9/7/2020 at 9:23 PM, SuprSuprElevated said:

Malia chastizes Rob? for kissing his girlfriend instead of tending to the "disaster" condition of the boat...

...5 minutes after she was in the galley, kissing her boyfriend, while NOT attending to the boat that was in bad shape.

Perks of being the boss(un). 

Yes, I know bosun only has one s..... 

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6 hours ago, meep.meep said:

Actually, it looked like she was alone in the wheelhouse.  Someone has to be there at all times.  So, the captain was stuck.  They put Jessica in the shower before taking her up there.  And she's the drama queen of all time.

 

Sandy was sitting with someone, probably the 1st officer or engineer because they only showed the arm, at the crew mess table when Malia called her so she was not in the wheelhouse and wasn’t alone. She wasn’t stuck she is just an asshole.

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On 9/7/2020 at 6:11 PM, pieinmyeye said:

May I recommend if you are having heart palpitations that you do not drink anything with caffeine in it.

.......also maybe not such a good idea to a have hot shower then climb a flight of stairs 🤦🏼‍♀️

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17 hours ago, Lassus said:

 

I don't know that "Devil's Advocate" really qualifies here, but I'll retain my role as bewildered anti-anti-Malia.  Malia gave Rob a task for which he not only overslept, but then knowing he overslept, didn't bother actually doing the task and instead was snogging with his girl.  I'd need to re-watch, but I recall that Malia got up on time for her work, futzed for three or fewer minutes good morning-ing her boy, and then went to work, on time.  As far as being a "twat", her chastisement of Rob was both on-point and fully respectful.

The internet is so weird.

I think that’s what happens when you show how unlikeable you are, it’s very difficult to come back from in viewers eyes.

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On 9/7/2020 at 7:03 PM, PaperTree said:

Bugs looks utterly ridiculous with the eye sparkles.  Then she inflicts it on everybody else.  Is this a "thing"?  I didn't notice it on anybody else.

Rob and Jess are really over the top.  I guess he can switch bunks with Alex.

I was thinking the same i guess she’s now using her talent to add face-scapes to her resume.

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18 hours ago, Lassus said:

I was agreeing with this until I realized that Jess and Rob would be super-easy to ignore.  Aesha's overheating-drill-bit-imitating-a-Valley-Girl-cat-in-heat-telling-dirty-jokes voice is not.

So much this ^^^. Your description of her voice was dead on. Jess and Rob would have me rolling my eyes, but Aesha would have me plotting.
 

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16 hours ago, Lassus said:

Let's not also forget that Damon was so drunk he couldn't complete a sentence and could barely speak at all when he was talking about the steak, which may have had something to do with Sandy's lack of hysterical reaction.

I thought I heard Tom say that Damon wanted a medium rare steak, but he was so drunk he may have meant medium well. Either way, that was steak wasted. (no pun intended)
 

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Before I read anyone's comments, I'm here to say: 

Jess & Rob = 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

Haven't even finished the episode yet and they're sooo draining. Neither one, likable. 

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Never knew that if someone says they have heart palpitations to just throw them in a hot shower.  Seriously?  

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39 minutes ago, mytmo said:

Never knew that if someone says they have heart palpitations to just throw them in a hot shower.  Seriously?  

I believe Malia thought she was having a panic attack which frequently includes heart palpitations and a hot shower or bath is recommend as a remedy.

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When jess got her blood pressure taken... That seemed pretty high. 3 digits over 3 digits... I would have made her go to the dr. Especially if heart disease runs in her family

Jess always looks like she is in pain though.

I might be the only one... I do enjoy the drunk guests... 

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9 minutes ago, Thisgirllovespasta said:

That seemed pretty high. 3 digits over 3 digits... I would have made her go to the dr. Especially if heart disease runs in her family

But Sandy texted someone and they said it was fine!!! I wouldn’t trust a doctor who only saw the readout and just responded “that’s not too bad,” as an actual clinical opinion.

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18 hours ago, Jobiska said:

I had to rewind the conversation about boat romances to understand that Aesha was saying "six" and not "sex."  

Between the (to me) accents of Bugsy and Aesha, the nonsensical muttering fights of Rob and Jess, the Sandiness of Sandy and the Malianess of Malia, the invisibility of Pete, and the relative closed-mouthed-ness of Tom (when he's not meowing???? at Malia or deciding her name was gourgey????) the only person I can or want to understand talking is Alex.

So instead I have made a game of Spot-the-Pete instead.  Not that I want to see him, but it really is impressive how much they have cut him out.  He's in the wide shots of greeting guests, and sometimes in the background working, but that's about it.  

Poor anonymous dock guy trying to catch Rob's rope throws.

 

We place "Spot the Pete" at our house too!  Usually we see the back of his head and I think he even was heard once this episode!

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22 minutes ago, biakbiak said:

I believe Malia thought she was having a panic attack which frequently includes heart palpitations and a hot shower or bath is recommend as a remedy.

Ok never heard of that remedy.  I had panic attacks at 28 when my mother died.    I don't think I would've had the wherewithal to get myself to a hot shower as my only thought was that I was dying.  I would be afraid of falling as you are light headed and your legs are weak.  Makes sense when there is someone with you.  When I was having these attacks I've told my Dr. and before I could finish my sentence she was writing a prescription for Valium.  Never took them and luckily they stopped on their own.

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I don't know if this has been said already but Aesha does not have boundaries.  Calling someone "shit stain" is not a term of endearment. 

Jessica needs to run for the hills, I'm starting to get toxic vibes from Rob. I think there was  more happening off camera which lead to Jess having chest pains. Malia is annoying on so many levels, but she had every right to be annoyed with Rob.  

I don't think Jess was jealous of Rob's conversation with Aesha.  I think she became disguted once Aesha took the conversation to a whole other level and checked out of the conversation.  She even verbalized she didn't want to participate in a conversation about vagina sizes.

At least Johnny Damon's wife didn't instigate any fights this time.  They're both still classless. 

Edited by spunky
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14 hours ago, tvfanatic13 said:

Johnny D- not a good look at all. I wonder if he is embarrassed at all. 
I know that they have been hiding Pete, but was he even out to dinner with them? Not even a glimpse of him, which was strange. 

He was at dinner.  They showed the back of his head.  Some editor got paid a lot of overtime to cut him out - probably grateful for the work during the pandemic.

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7 minutes ago, RoxiP said:

He was at dinner.  They showed the back of his head.  Some editor got paid a lot of overtime to cut him out - probably grateful for the work during the pandemic.

A fun drinking game is “Spot Pete” you won’t even get that tipsy because they did such a good job!

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1 hour ago, biakbiak said:

I believe Malia thought she was having a panic attack which frequently includes heart palpitations and a hot shower or bath is recommend as a remedy.

Oh right of course Malia can diagnose a panic attack, she has experience.  I would guess it might be over for Jess now, maybe the earlier  praising was actually foreshadowing. 😯

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If I could like your comment a million times It wouldn't be enough, RoxiP! These people are not in middle school. They are paid to do a job, not steal smoochies in the crew mess. I get that the show is based on interpersonal conflict and hook-ups, but that can all be handled during the in-between charter gaps. And a little anticipation is not a bad thing, Bravo! I hate Aesha, but she was not wrong when she said "this is the stupidest shit I've ever heard" at dinner. She should be glad she's out of the Drama Loop. I know I would be! Jess and Rob are a disaster. Bugs needs to edit herself. Alex is a cutie-pie. And Johnny Damon and his missus are a disgrace. 

 

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Anybody watch with Kate last night?  She cracked me up with her comments about Bugs' jewelry.  (No, I didn't want to watch a repeat but my daughter did and I didn't care enough to fight over the remove...Lol!).

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On 9/8/2020 at 7:56 AM, Lassus said:

While I agree the boat is boring, Aesha's ideas of what constitutes humor are not entirely empirical.  Or funny.

Seriously......."shit stain". So gross coming from a grown woman. Never did like her.

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To the producers and editors.....really, you could do a much better job! The editing is a crazy mess, half the time the camera seems out of focus, sound is hit or miss a lot, there is bits and pieces flying around like toilet paper in the wind, and enough with the boat docking too.

Edited by endure
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21 hours ago, howiveaddict said:

And that Gatsby party was lame.  Of course the guests were too wasted to notice.

The guys' costumes looked more "Clockwork Orange" than "Gatsby" to me - not the most pleasant association for a party.

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11 minutes ago, Mstk3000 said:

The guys' costumes looked more "Clockwork Orange" than "Gatsby" to me - not the most pleasant association for a party.

Neither is Gatsby since it was a critique of such extravagance.

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The only thing Sandy's cardiologist friend should have said was "Get her to an ER or doctor as soon as possible."  There's no way she should have proclaimed the patient "OK" after looking at a photo of a blood pressure cuff, if she did in fact say that.

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1 hour ago, biakbiak said:

Neither is Gatsby since it was a critique of such extravagance.

Thank you!!!! Seriously it is so annoying when any of the basic Bravo bitches throw a ‘Gatsby’ party - did they not read the book or at the very least watch the movie?? 

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Where did all Tom and Malia’s animosity towards Jess come from? Tom’s known Jess for maybe a week or so but he’s sure that she only likes Rob because he’s a model, and then he calls her a shallow motherf**cker. Nice mouth. Unlike Rob and Jess, Malia and Tom are well suited, they’re both dicks. 

I know Jess is drama, but Rob’s drama is just as bad with his “I feel broken” shit over a few weeks long relationship. He was the one who escalated things with the I love you. If Jess is shallow, Rob is an abyss.

Lots of Pete this episode. It’s easier to notice if I’m not crocheting while I watch. He was there walking towards the tender with Aesha, helping the guests out of the tender, saying goodbye to the guests, at the tip meeting, walking to dinner beside Bugs, at dinner a couple times (sitting beside Aesha), walking to the cab, getting out of the cab, and standing around or dancing several times at the club. This is like a scavenger hunt. Got to make it fun somehow since I’m pretty much hate watching at this point.

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9 hours ago, Snarky McSnarky said:

The only thing Sandy's cardiologist friend should have said was "Get her to an ER or doctor as soon as possible."  There's no way she should have proclaimed the patient "OK" after looking at a photo of a blood pressure cuff, if she did in fact say that.

YES that was total BS 

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13 hours ago, Kiki777 said:

Thank you!!!! Seriously it is so annoying when any of the basic Bravo bitches throw a ‘Gatsby’ party - did they not read the book or at the very least watch the movie?? 

Yeah, nobody got shot in the pool,(hot tub), at the end of the evening, lol.

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I was really surprised that after having the experience of a heart attack herself, Captain Sandy would find it sufficient to take a blood pressure reading and then send a half-assed text to a cardiologist who proclaims her "not that bad". Yes, not that bad ....then....but if nothing else than to cover her ass,  I would have dropped her off at the dock and insisted on an exam and EKG. Maybe the scene was heavily edited and I'm not giving sufficient credit to the doctor friend or the Captain but my wife was in a similar situation many years back and simple symptoms that were poo-poohed by more than one doctor eventually resulted in full blown cardiac arrest that almost killed her. It could all have been prevented. Sandy should have been more prudent 'cause she's been there.

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26 minutes ago, aqusdealer said:

my wife was in a similar situation many years back and simple symptoms that were poo-poohed by more than one doctor eventually resulted in full blown cardiac arrest

I'm glad she survived it, and yes, women's symptoms from cardiac arrest can be subtle at first, and doctors will be dismissive. You have to insist that you think you're having a heart attack so they will actually check and find out you actually are. Jess' symptoms were probably a panic attack, but with her family history I wouldn't assume. I would also recommend that she keeps an eye on the blood pressure. A one time high reading is one thing, but a continued high reading means you have a problem.

 


 

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On 9/9/2020 at 7:06 AM, tvfanatic13 said:

You know, I really wonder what good stuff we haven’t been shown because they edited Pete out. 

Yep. Don't get me wrong - I despised him in the episodes he appeared in, and they edited him out for good reasons. But this season is a total snooze. Casting has really gone off the rails, and its main problem is that it's boring. All gone:

Pete - an asshole, who would've brought plenty of drama if not edited out.

Hannah - a not so great chief stew, but good for stirring up fights and gossip between the crew. Also her ongoing power struggle with Sandy, love it or hate it, has been a source of plot for several seasons. Her talking heads were also like 1/3 of the show.

Kiko - sweet, funny, maybe a bit scattered in the kitchen, but a likable personality that I was rooting for.

Instead you have Pete erased, a boring Bugsy, who may be good at her job, but brings very little to the show, and Tom, again someone who may be a good chef, but is clearly not interested in any type of drama. You know it's bad when I was excited to annoying Aesha show up. But then even she seems bored and glum. And the couple drama is not enough to keep me interested.

Even the guests these past couple seasons have seemed to wise up that they're on camera, and don't bring anywhere near the level of demands and complaints they used to.

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22 hours ago, endure said:

To the producers and editors.....really, you could do a much better job! The editing is a crazy mess, half the time the camera seems out of focus, sound is hit or miss a lot, there is bits and pieces flying around like toilet paper in the wind, and enough with the boat docking too.

Co-sign about no more boat docking!   More scenery please ... sunrises, sunsets??? Heck even the camera focusing ahead on the water while they  chug from one place to another would be more interesting than yet another tight docking scenario. 

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33 minutes ago, NannyBails said:

Co-sign about no more boat docking!   More scenery please ... sunrises, sunsets??? Heck even the camera focusing ahead on the water while they  chug from one place to another would be more interesting than yet another tight docking scenario. 

Count me in on the no more boat docking train. Additionally, either explain WTF is going on and why everyone has some sort of boner about dropping the anchor, or stop showing it. To the land lubbers among us, it seems like it should be as easy as letting gravity do the work. Clearly it is something more than that, because they sure make the process seem complex. I hate this show now. 

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On 9/8/2020 at 10:49 AM, Lassus said:

I'm really not so much TEAM Malia, she certainly has her faults and problems.  Her role in the Hannah thing was a mess (although Hannah was more than ready to go, that was pretty obvious).  I just find the negative reactions to her simply over the top on this board.  I mean, people were spiteful that she dove in the water to retrieve a guest who had tipped off a jet-ski, and that she dared to... help a guest who had cut their hand.  

That is her job it is no reflection on her character as a person.

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4 minutes ago, endure said:

That is her job it is no reflection on her character as a person.

Also I think a lot of people on this board come here to snark, not praise.

 

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Has Malia become Tom's unofficial plater/server/assistant? I'm not a total hard ass - if he needs help in a pinch, I can see it - but she's there for every dinner service now, plating for him as he calls over directions to her, and she's serving as well. Why is Bugsy allowing this? She's got her own stews for this purpose. A few seasons ago on BD, Captain Lee kicked Bruno out of the galley because he didn't want Chef Matt depending on him. I think we're getting into that territory with these two. I don't know if Tom can't handle it by himself, or he's just got a big ego and thinks doing certain tasks are beneath him.

Edited by Teri313 · Reason: Typo
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So this is a note I composed yesterday and thought I lost, so it was in response to earlier posts: I suspect WRT parties that when you fill out the application or preference sheet, you have a list of themes for a party if you want one. So that the yacht company can procure the crap for a theme dinner. I don't know for sure, but I imagine that's why we have seen at least two Gatsby parties. And I completely agree with upthread poster: I thought "A Clockwork Orange", not Great Gatsby. A bunch of droogs indeed!

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The theme parties just made me think that BDM needs a crossover with the people on Summer House, that show where they all go to the Hamptons on the weekends, have theme parties, get drunk, and fight all the time about juvenile things. 

 

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