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S03.E03: Date with Destinie

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Shavel breaks down; Shawn comes face to face with Destinie, John’s wedding plans rattle Kristianna.

Shavel breaks down because?  She snaps a heel?  Her engine throws a rod?  Will we find her at the side of the road with a red tag on her?

Based on the description, Destinie exists so there's that.  Let's see the great love of Shawn's life.  You know, the one with which he hasn't spawned. 

And the cliffhanger is resolved.  Will Kristianna say, "Yes"?  Will she say, "What the fuck is wrong with you, you loon?"  Enquiring minds want to know!

Original air date 2020.07.31 

 

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I never get enough of this show!  I'm sure they have a hard time getting an hours worth out of this group!  Lots of footage probably left on the floor!

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Here's a new guy... Tyrice.  What is wrong with him?  He's got a Shauna girlfriend from the pen.  He was bored.  Thought she was pretty.

 

Edited by goofygirl
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7 minutes ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

The two things that would make this show even better: A second hour and live chatting.

I agree, Auntie!

Wow! Another couple to snark on!

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Uh.... Kristianne, that dream wedding of yours?? GUESS AGAIN SISTER!! You're gonna get the luv truck! LOL!!

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We need a live chat. An show this trashy from one minute to the next needs live reaction.

Mr. Catch has a coat with a 78 on it. If it's a high school grad coat that makes his 51 a 60 in the age department. How many kids and/or ex wives does he have?

 

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Old white guy, the one who's lady has the daughter, reminds me of pictures of dogs who have swallowed bees.  Think he tried to get some fillers?

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I actually kind of like John’sgirlfriend ( I cant remember her name) but I can see why he’s been married and engaged so much. He’s very impulsive and I would say rather controlling. If I just got out of prison there would be nothing as important as getting to that halfway house on time and all his shenanigans should have waited for another time. He barely knows her and she already admitted that she didn’t love him yet,which I thought was pretty honest of her.

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I agree, he could have sprung the quickie wedding after she gets checked in, it’s foolish to have a 5 minute wedding. 

Kristianne ... he wants to marry you immediately. He has many divorces and failed relationships. He’s very controlling and probably lousy in bed.

Run, girl, run!!!!!

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Shawn can suck it with the, "normally attracted to thin girls", nonsense.  Destineeee is a thin girl, with a pooch, not even chubby.  Supermodels look like heifers in baggy sweatsuits.  

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2 hours ago, Kangatush said:

Shawn can suck it with the, "normally attracted to thin girls", nonsense.  Destineeee is a thin girl, with a pooch, not even chubby.  Supermodels look like heifers in baggy sweatsuits.  

And he looks like he got dropped on his head a few times so does he even know what thin means?  He seems reallll touched. I am here for all these men on these seasons that seem to want to dispel the stereotype that WE, women, are the desperate ones. 🙄

Edited by lamujerdecente
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WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME ABOUT THE OFFICIAL LIVE CHAT. See yinz next Friday 

Oh! New couple! "Dating" for 2.5 months. Alrighty then...  How scripted is this?

If Julianna would have taken the sailor hat off of John's head and put it on her head, that would have been perfect!

"Walk to the bathroom nekkid'   That's why I love living alone 

DestinEEEE! Can't wait to see....um....

Seriously,  what is wrong with these people 

 

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1 hour ago, lamujerdecente said:

And he looks like he got dropped on his head a few times so does he even know what thin means?  He seems reallll touched. I am here for all these men on these seasons that seem to want to dispel the stereotype that WE, women, are the desperate ones. 🙄

My theory is he was hit in the head with a shovel, same result 😄.      What delicious food these guys brought for their women.  Hot plate tacos unwrapped in a duffel bag, and steak and champagne that have been sitting around for 6 hours.  These idiots spend thousands on these women while they're in prison, but they can't buy them a hot meal when they first get out? 

I felt bad for Kristianne, not too much pressure.   Why did he need to marry her immediately?  So he can add another notch to his divorce belt?  

 

 

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13 hours ago, goofygirl said:

Here's a new guy... Tyrice.  What is wrong with him?  

He looks like Ben Carson. 

4 hours ago, Kangatush said:

Shawn can suck it with the, "normally attracted to thin girls", nonsense.  

Fuck you with a crowbar, Shawn. You are no fucking prize. 

11 minutes ago, SevenCostanza said:

My theory is he was hit in the head with a shovel, same result 😄.      What delicious food these guys brought for their women.  Hot plate tacos unwrapped in a duffel bag, and steak and champagne that have been sitting around for 6 hours.  These idiots spend thousands on these women while they're in prison, but they can't buy them a hot meal when they first get out? 

Right? "Here honey, I know you were dying for a steak, so here's one you can gnaw on in the car". So romantic. So thoughtful. 

Couldn't Jess and Maurice take off their mic packs while they were banging? Jesus. 

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Qualandria-really? And yet she afflicted her son with another goofy 'Qua' themed name. I can hardly wait to hear the names of her (assuming here) other kids. Nonetheless, I think she seems pretty sensible and she looks nice. Shavel is just dumb.

I love the friends on this show- Tangy is clearly the girl for Tyrise, not snaggle-toothed wide-load Chaundra, but these people can never see it, can they?

John is not only trying to squeeze a wedding into a 15 minute timeline, but he expects Chris to change into a giant (yet too-small) wedding dress?? Would there even be room in that flatbed for 3 people and a big old wedding gown? Hope he kept the receipt. At least the minister lady picked up on Chris's panic and gave her an out.

Shawn must not have ever heard of phone filter apps, if he's surprised by Destinie's disappointing looks.  She does look quite pretty in her talking heads, though. Wonder why she didn't try to lose weight before her release. And she thinks he looks older than she expected, whatever that means.

Oh, Scott. I bet the showrunners larfed and larfed when his card was declined. "Rich" guys don't have to shuffle money around from card to card, no matter how demanding their jailbird girlfriends are about expensive phones, etc. Things will get ugly when she sees his very ordinary truck and tacky house.

Maurice's excitement and wonder at flying were cute, but just emphasized how immature and inexperienced he is, compared to Jessica. She's going to have to take care of him like a child, isn't she? At least until he gets arrested again.

 

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29 minutes ago, SevenCostanza said:

Hot plate tacos unwrapped in a duffel bag . . . 

As a compulsive tidy person, all I could think of was, "He doesn't look like the type to wash that pan and tidy up the room after cooking."

But then his girlfriend hasn't exactly been staying at a place with room service, either.

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2 hours ago, OoogleEyes said:

WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME ABOUT THE OFFICIAL LIVE CHAT. See yinz next Friday 

 

It happened organically during the show! We asked and we received. Now if we could only get WETV to add a second hour to this train wreck.

I have nothing to do on Friday nights. I’m in.

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2 hours ago, sempervivum said:

John is not only trying to squeeze a wedding into a 15 minute timeline, but he expects Chris to change into a giant (yet too-small) wedding dress?? Would there even be room in that flatbed for 3 people and a big old wedding gown? Hope he kept the receipt. At least the minister lady picked up on Chris's panic and gave her an out.

Furthermore, they do not have a marriage license, so this whole "lets get married in four minutes in the back of my pickup truck" is just fool's gold (or comedy gold, for those of us at home who live for this shit). They're not getting married! So why the big rush, the tacky decorated truck, the dress that doesn't fit, the ridiculously small window to get it all done? Stupid, stupid, stupid.

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But it's a native wedding so it's for life! 

come on eye roll GIF

I am native and used to be native traditionalist, so his bullshit takes me right over the edge.  He never said he is Lakota but he claims to be following the Lakota way.  

sure jan GIF

He is looking for a way to get the benefits of marriage (sex, someone to care for him) and to control her without providing her with the legal benefits of marriage. I can see him later telling her what he has decided the woman's role is under his interpretation of his religion.  

I did like that the wedding dress didn't fit which gave her time to think.  Kudos to the officiant that, last we heard, was telling Kristianna she did not need to go through with it.  Run away!  Get the ride to the halfway house, then cut this loser off for good. 

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5 hours ago, SevenCostanza said:

My theory is he was hit in the head with a shovel, same result 😄.      What delicious food these guys brought for their women.  Hot plate tacos unwrapped in a duffel bag, and steak and champagne that have been sitting around for 6 hours.  These idiots spend thousands on these women while they're in prison, but they can't buy them a hot meal when they first get out? 

I felt bad for Kristianne, not too much pressure.   Why did he need to marry her immediately?  So he can add another notch to his divorce belt?  

 

 

Not to mention there is  grub hub or DoorDash. The food could have been delivered to wherever they were meeting their “soul mate”. 
The one with the lips that look sewn in, he seriously gives me those lounge lizard vibes. Old ass men that stay at the clubs of the young ins - trying to lure some young girl with free drinks. He’s just creepy.

However Lindsay strikes me as a lifer doing 3 or 4 years at a time. He is going to have all the cards declined by Tuesday.

Her child and her grandma make me sad. Her poor baby girl. Such a cute little soul. 
 

I would rather not see them. I watch this show to mock the delusional.

Catch man was why I will never date in Florida if my husband and I ever break up. It’s filled with shallow, mediocre men like him in my age group. South Florida is the land of butts too. 
 

 

Edited by lamujerdecente
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8 hours ago, Kangatush said:

Shawn can suck it with the, "normally attracted to thin girls", nonsense. 

but he can make an exception. How gracious of him.

 

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So I'm supposed to believe that Mr. Hot Commodity was bored at work and something just randomly came across his screen about dating female inmates?

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4 hours ago, SevenCostanza said:

What delicious food these guys brought for their women.  Hot plate tacos unwrapped in a duffel bag, and steak and champagne that have been sitting around for 6 hours. 

Yeah, I was puzzled about the steak. At first I thought he said Lindsey was getting out the next day. Then he orders steak "to go" and brings it in a limo ride to the airport over an hour away? I'll pass on that steak.  And wow, look at Shawn's cooking skills- he aspires to match a Taco Bell gordita. 

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Just now, KateHearts said:

And wow, look at Shawn's cooking skills- he aspires to match a Taco Bell gordita. 

Given how quickly and happily she started chomping on them, his aspirations match her desires.

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1 hour ago, lamujerdecente said:


The one with the lips that look sewn in

for some reason, this struck me as hilarious.

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19 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

Given how quickly and happily she started chomping on them, his aspirations match her desires.

I am not going to lie. My husband always makes up for our fights with some banging ass tacos. He buys them tho. 

13 minutes ago, KateHearts said:

for some reason, this struck me as hilarious.

I don’t know how else to describe it. Like my mom used to make sock puppets types dolls for a minute. She had these lips she sewed on. 
I don’t care how much money that man “has”. I am not kissing those lips. Nope. Obviously I ain’t made for prison. 

Edited by lamujerdecente
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3 minutes ago, lamujerdecente said:

I am not going to lie. My husband always makes up for our fights with some banging ass tacos. He buys them tho. 

No shame from me.  If this pandemic goes away before Taco Bell goes bankrupt, my first "to-go" order will be Nachos Bel Grande!!!!

Because we are high risk and EXTREMELY cautious, we only eat food we've prepared at home right now.  

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1 minute ago, AZChristian said:

No shame from me.  If this pandemic goes away before Taco Bell goes bankrupt, my first "to-go" order will be Nachos Bel Grande!!!!

Because we are high risk and EXTREMELY cautious, we only eat food we've prepared at home right now.  

Prayers to u love. I am high risk as well but my cooking skills are limited. That banging ass rice Boricua gene skipped over me. So for my poor step child and husband, we order in from places we know well. I am in Miami. A taco is never far away. I make a mean taco too. 
my lucky children are visiting their father in nyc, so they have a break from Mommie’s limited cooking skills. Lucky souls. 
Back to the show. I like Kristinia. I don’t like that cretin John. She needs to run. He seems like the type that is on my other fave network, investigative discovery.

I am a writer and I swear I read books and watch educational docs but dammit I need my reality “cheeto” fix. I can’t eat cheetos anymore. Can I have something? 
my husband mocks my love of trash reality shows so much I get defensive. Lol. 

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4 hours ago, sempervivum said:

I love the friends on this show- Tangy is clearly the girl for Tyrise, not snaggle-toothed wide-load Chaundra, but these people can never see it, can they?

If Chaundra twerks for him he may have a heart attack.  Different people have different definitions of successful, but he kept suggesting that he is a successful engineer yet he lives in a sad apartment complex with sad furniture in a lower middle class suburb.

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19 minutes ago, lamujerdecente said:

my husband mocks my love of trash reality shows so much I get defensive. Lol. 

My hubby is a keeper.  He looks at me and says, "What garbage shows are we going to watch tonight?"

Just now, MrBuhBye said:

If Chaundra twerks for him he may have a heart attack.  Different people have different definitions of successful, but he kept suggesting that he is a successful engineer yet he lives in a sad apartment complex with sad furniture in a lower middle class suburb.

He can say "engineer" but can't say "love"?  As in "I luh to cuddle."  

I wonder if he's a "custodial engineer."  

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John makes me so mad and I feel sorry for Kristianna. I imagine she is thinking "What will he do if I say no to his craziness? Will he leave me stranded on the side of the road with no where to go?" She got out of prison 10 minutes ago you fruitcake!!!

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36 minutes ago, lamujerdecente said:

I am a writer and I swear I read books and watch educational docs but dammit I need my reality “cheeto” fix. I can’t eat cheetos anymore. Can I have something? 
my husband mocks my love of trash reality shows so much I get defensive. Lol. 

This show is the television equivalent of Cheetos.  Pure junk food for the mind.

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2 hours ago, lamujerdecente said:

The one with the lips that look sewn in,

Omg I am dying

23 minutes ago, KateHearts said:

This show is the television equivalent of Cheetos.  Pure junk food for the mind.

And commenting here is the powder cheese finger licking afterwards.  I can’t get enough!

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1 hour ago, lamujerdecente said:

I am a writer and I swear I read books and watch educational docs but dammit I need my reality “cheeto” fix. I can’t eat cheetos anymore. Can I have something? 
my husband mocks my love of trash reality shows so much I get defensive. Lol. 

No shame here.  We affirm your choice of trash TV.  Me on Friday night:

giphy.gif

I have a socially distanced spot on your couch all ready for you.  🙂 

Tyrice and Shawn both tried the "she is my soul mate, I want a real connection, other women suck" argument, then only focused on their soulmate's looks.  Shawn is willing to accept Destinie's no longer slim self for now.  After all, he's such a winner.  And Tyrice, with all of his overblown protestations of what a catch he is, would not have given Chanda a second look if she didn't have an ample ass.  The second coming of Scott is all about how young and pretty Lindsey is.  Every one of them clearly has some reason why failed relationships are their standard.  They are all thinking with their peens. 

 

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6 hours ago, sempervivum said:

Qualandria-really? And yet she afflicted her son with another goofy 'Qua' themed name. I can hardly wait to hear the names of her (assuming here) other kids.

When I read this post, I was going to respond with, "I didn't know everybody had to be named either Karen or Kevin."  BUT, I once had a co worker who, when she was pregnant with her son, told me she wanted to give him a name that HE could spell and that his teachers could pronounce.   "We don't live in a bubble and people are fucked up when it comes to names."

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17 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

. . . she wanted to give him a name that HE could spell and that his teachers could pronounce.   "We don't live in a bubble and people are fucked up when it comes to names."

I have a friend who is expecting a granddaughter, who has already been named "Addisyn."  It takes every bit of willpower to stop myself from responding, "She won't be 3 years old before her mama is already tired of spelling it out for everyone."

My last name is easy to pronounce, but does not have the traditional spelling for a 4-letter name.  I don't even say it out loud when people ask "What is your last name?"  I just spell it.  If I say it first, people have already typed in the wrong first letter before I can spell it.  I would never complicate things by giving someone a weird first name spelling intentionally.

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58 minutes ago, PrincessPurrsALot said:

No shame here.  We affirm your choice of trash TV.  Me on Friday night:

giphy.gif

I have a socially distanced spot on your couch all ready for you.  🙂 

Tyrice and Shawn both tried the "she is my soul mate, I want a real connection, other women suck" argument, then only focused on their soulmate's looks.  Shawn is willing to accept Destinie's no longer slim self for now.  After all, he's such a winner.  And Tyrice, with all of his overblown protestations of what a catch he is, would not have given Chanda a second look if she didn't have an ample ass.  The second coming of Scott is all about how young and pretty Lindsey is.  Every one of them clearly has some reason why failed relationships are their standard.  They are all thinking with their peens. 

 

I have found my people. 

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On 8/1/2020 at 5:36 PM, Neurochick said:

When I read this post, I was going to respond with, "I didn't know everybody had to be named either Karen or Kevin."  BUT, I once had a co worker who, when she was pregnant with her son, told me she wanted to give him a name that HE could spell and that his teachers could pronounce.   "We don't live in a bubble and people are fucked up when it comes to names."

My mother purposely named my sister and I america, “resume” names. People judge all kinds of “shite” on your name.

Now I do think that some people are, maybe just mocking the ridiculous of celebrity  inspired name, Apple, for instance, needs to sue her mama. Thats a different story. These folks on their show, the LEAST of shit to mock is their name, I don’t even know their names, their damn home furnishings and wardrobe choices are enough. Case in point. Sewed in Lip dude. I love leather. My side hustle is repurposed vintage leather clothes.  I own a lot of vintage leather jackets. I don’t do new leather to be respectful of the environments and the animals. 
Seeing sewed in lips with his shorter, David from 90 day fiancé watchers leather trench collection jacket, disturbed me. He looked like a 1990’s lifetime movie pimp villian. I am rethinking my fashion choices now. 
And John? The half “Native American” pick a tradition, fool. What was that top? He looked like he was going to sing at bingo night. At the prison. 

Edited by lamujerdecente
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9 hours ago, Pepper Mostly said:

Couldn't Jess and Maurice take off their mic packs while they were banging? Jesus. 

They are saving all these never-seen-or-heard between the sheets, on top of the sheets, take your pick.... for the X-rated version that you can find in the 50-cent sale bin at Dollar Tree.

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I'm incensed that some nitwit who makes up words is speaking on behalf of all black.mrn. n

What a load of stereotypical bullshit.  There are plenty of young black men who travel and aren't scared of planes.  

He is not the representative from the black delegation.  

 

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On 7/31/2020 at 11:45 PM, Kangatush said:

Old white guy, the one who's lady has the daughter, reminds me of pictures of dogs who have swallowed bees.  Think he tried to get some fillers?

It appears to me he had childhood cleft palate surgery performed by Dr Edward Scissorhands at the Hospital of the University of Fail Sons. Worst of all, getting past that along with that janketty jalopy he drove, I could never forgive him for that sin of the thrift-shop, 1980s leather jacket. I've only remembered them being worn by hobos and heroin addicts.

I have great anxiety (translation: excitement) over the scene of he and Miss Hot Piece Inmate 2020 exchanging their first-meeting kiss. The upper lip is gonna be flapping on her face like a cold, dead piece of cod.

giphy.gif 

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15 hours ago, RealReality said:

I'm incensed that some nitwit who makes up words is speaking on behalf of all black.mrn. n

What a load of stereotypical bullshit.  There are plenty of young black men who travel and aren't scared of planes.  

He is not the representative from the black delegation.  

 

Quaylon represents Quaylon and only Quaylon like each person on this show.  Maurice represents Maurice and only Maurice. The unfortunate thing is that people will take his behavior and extrapolate to other folks who share common characteristics with him, but he is absolutely an individual.

What I see is a young man who was locked up early for a long time and his development stopped at that point.  He has a lot of catching up to do.  He seems quite affable to me.  Often the convicts make my skin crawl.  Maurice does not.   Neither does Quaylon.  They seem like folks with a lot to work out. 

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1 hour ago, MrBuhBye said:

Maurice was the one afraid of planes.

And everything else.

Except sex.

Edited by Neurochick
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On 8/1/2020 at 2:30 PM, AZChristian said:

No shame from me.  If this pandemic goes away before Taco Bell goes bankrupt, my first "to-go" order will be Nachos Bel Grande!!!!

Because we are high risk and EXTREMELY cautious, we only eat food we've prepared at home right now.  

My son went out the other night at 10:45 pm to fetch us tacos from Taco Bell.  And I ate there the next day.  Not. Ashamed.

 

21 hours ago, AZChristian said:

I have a friend who is expecting a granddaughter, who has already been named "Addisyn."  It takes every bit of willpower to stop myself from responding, "She won't be 3 years old before her mama is already tired of spelling it out for everyone."

My last name is easy to pronounce, but does not have the traditional spelling for a 4-letter name.  I don't even say it out loud when people ask "What is your last name?"  I just spell it.  If I say it first, people have already typed in the wrong first letter before I can spell it.  I would never complicate things by giving someone a weird first name spelling intentionally.

"Dear God, bless this food I am about to eat.  I am grateful for the gift of health, a few bucks in the bank and a husband who loves me so much.  By the way, could you shoot an email to Addisyn's parents to change their minds?  Thank you!  Amen."

My last name really is Hanson and even just saying "with an o-n, not e-n" can get boring.  No biggie, but Addysin?

On 8/1/2020 at 12:57 PM, PrincessPurrsALot said:

But it's a native wedding so it's for life! 

Can someone explain this to me?  Seriously, if he has ben married four times, all ended in divorce, were those civil, non native marriages?  Also, he was in prison for how many years and still managed to spit out how many kids?

@Pepper Mostly is right on the whole wedding being fake:  Both people must apply for a marriage license in Iowa.  (In MN only one had to gi until 2000, so there was a slight chance that it could be that way, but nope.)  He wants to tell people:  "I proposed and married her on the day she got out of jail!  Aren't I wacky and odd?"

Head injury guy with six or so kids who preferrs thin women?  Lord you are no prize at the kissing booth.

Lindsey and Old Guy and Mylie Grace:  Yeah, she is so not scamming you.  

I still can't get over John's ass ugly 80's wardrobe.  I actually like the stuff with a few native touches, but the other stuff?  Yeah no,

"Maureeeeece and I love to bump uglies!"  Shut it.

Edited by Mrs. Hanson
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Including sin in her name may be predictive.

5 minutes ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

Head injury guy with six or so kids who preferrs thin women?

He’s a mechanic so I picture him working under a car and the jack failed.

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