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S02.E10: Forgiven, Not Forgotten

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Bini's family grills Ari about her commitment to staying in Ethiopia; Deavan gives Jihoon a shocking ultimatum; Tim seeks forgiveness from Melyza's mom; running out of options, Sumit reaches out to his brother.

Airs August 3, 2020.

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Have not watched it yet but laughing at the previews with Bini's ex doing some sexy dance with her crotch in his face while Ari's mom says she better watch it while he's dancing at night and she is home alone. Also I want to see Sumit's parents!

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Melyza's dad said something that I found interesting.  He said the idea was for her to move to America, so he was surprised that Tim moved to Colombia.  Given how angry the mother is, I don't think they will be able to put this behind them. 

Jenny seemed confident when she told Summit's brother that she wasn't going anywhere.  However, I would bet good money that if Summit was told he had to choose between her and his parents, her ass would be on the first plane back to California.  

  

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Ariela and Bini: Well, the raw meat was interesting. Doesn't happen here much in North America. Ariela's mother is sure looking for reasons to haul her daughter back to the US. The club seemed small and unfortunately, Bini didn't look all that great as a dancer. Maybe he is better. Ari better get used to be alone with the baby if Bini is out making a buck doing his dance stuff. Maybe she should have thought of things before hooking up with him and what life in Ethiopia is really like. Can see her heading on a plane to the US within 3-6 months.

Tim and Melyza: She can do better than him, unless he is some up and coming CEO. It is tough to get past infidelity. but with counselling and work, you may find a way to make things work. No guarantee that either he or she will not cheat at some point. Probably easier to just break up and share custody of the cat. No excuse for her mom to call him fat. He is a guest, and whether you like him or not, not cool. Melyza is attractive enough to easily find a well off up and coming business guy.

Jenny and Sumit: Go home, Jenny. Sumit's parents will probably never like you. Find a way for you and Sumit can move to some other country and settle there. Working on the brother is not going to help much. The culture and family is very important.

Deaven and Jihoon: Having a kid out of a one night stand or week long fling does not mean you have to marry that person. Jihoon is unlikely to grow up for a long time and has no real incentive other than losing 'Deaven' and access to his kid to change. No idea what kind of limit you have at an ATM - you'd think that people would lurk around them looking for a big withdrawal. So much easier to get a cheque from the bank or do an e-transfer. Maybe $500 in cash and the rest in another form. He will have one excuse after the next. Deaven, set some boundaries, go home with the kids, insist on support payments and maybe when Jihoon can act like a responsible adult, bring him back to your life.

 

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1 hour ago, Frozendiva said:

Bini didn't look all that great as a dancer

I was thinking the same thing, FrozenDiva...

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Okay, I wound up fast forwarding most of this because it was so boring. 

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2 hours ago, mamadrama said:

Okay, I wound up fast forwarding most of this because it was so boring. 

This was really a nothing of an episode.

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I will say Smit and Omit have been blessed with really good hair.

Ari and Bini will not make it,in the long run she will not want to upset her mother and her mother will never fully sign off on Ari's choices.

Meyliza is playing with Tim, it will never work since the cheating will always be brought up, and to quote Mother Debbie, "if you don't have trust your relationship will never work." Tim's future will be miserable, he will not be able to go to the corner market without having to check in with Meyliza every minute, have his phone checked and continue to prove himself worthy by ingratiating himself at every turn.

Deaven, you were not scammed, you were complacent in everything, you knew he didn't have money or drive to make money when you were pregnant and said as much on camera, you chose to return to Korea with your children, you are just pissed at yourself. 

 

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Seeing Mother Ari and Ari at the nightclub reminded me of the scene in KNOCKED UP when Katherine Heigl and her sister go to the club and can't get in. "She's pregnant and your old ass knows better!"*

 

* I don't care if they go clubbing or not. I just love that movie.

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46 minutes ago, Baltimore Betty said:

I will say Smit and Omit have been blessed with really good hair.

 

I, too, noticed that Jenny is now pronouncing his name without the "u."  All this time and she still cannot pick a pronunciation and stick with it.  

So we've got Sumit and Amit.  

I'm waiting for a third brother, Dimwit, to show up.  

7 hours ago, mamadrama said:

Okay, I wound up fast forwarding most of this because it was so boring. 

I knitted and halfway listened.  

This episode needed some Kenny and Armando.  

I can't wait to see the proposal next week ❤️  

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29 minutes ago, Persnickety1 said:

So we've got Sumit and Amit.  

I'm waiting for a third brother, Dimwit, to show up.  

😄

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Ari's mom, Janice is totally a "Karen."  I could just see the xenophobia and racism oozing off her.  Does she get that HER grandchild has another set of grandparents and another family?  I could see the nastiness when she met Bini's family.  She said something like, "before I give YOU my daughter?"  Ari is a grown woman.  Janice is an enabler and both of them will be on sMothered next season.

Janice needs to check out Deavan's mom because that will be her future.  Janice will rescue Ari over and over again and I wouldn't be a bit surprised if Ari gets pregnant over and over, because she knows her mom will be there to rescue her.  

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5 hours ago, Schnickelfritz said:

Trivia - 3,000 USD = 3,588,401.75 KRW (South Korean Won) (or $1= 1,196.16 won)

Did anyone notice the denomination of the bills Jihoon and his banker pulled out of the bank? Maybe they gave her 3,000 won ($2.50) and called it a day. Undoubtedly not, but the idea made me laugh because Deaven taking absolutely no responsibility  for any  of this mess is getting on my  nerves.

Free Jihoon's father!

Probably, the whole scene was just for show.  There is no way you can withdraw $3,000 U.S. from an ATM.

If Jihoon's dad lived in a big American house, he would be spending most of his time in his den or the garage.  But he's stuck in that tiny place and must have his warden in his face at all times.

Ari was surprisingly low-key while watching Bini play butt bongo with his ex.

Tim is never going to have a normal relationship with Melyza again, it's just going to be an endless apology tour.  He needs to move on or they will continue this circle of dysfunction.

Edited by Dobian
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55 minutes ago, Dobian said:

Ari was surprisingly low-key while watching Bini play butt bongo with his ex.

I think she thinks that he would never cheat on her because she is pregnant with his child, he couldn't possibly cheat, she tells herself that she wonderful and edgy and he says he loves me so we are the perfect couple.  He has done this before, exactly like this time, his sisters are wondering if Ari will leave to have the baby and never return just like the first one...and what do we want to bet that the that answer will be yes.

I also think she is stupid and does not pay attention to red flags and her gut feelings because she wants to prove something to her mother and won't fold her hand now.

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Much of this is set up by production of course. But it’s fascinating to me to see the differences in cultures around the world. I wish this franchise would show more of that rather than contrived drama.  Jihoon’s mother ordering the dad to go away and stand over there compared to Kazan’s parents where mother would never be allowed to say such a thing to a man. Smit possibly having to chose between Jenny and family, etc.
And the expectation in many cultures that the children continually send money. 

I’m obviously in the minority when it comes to Ari’s mother. I’d be worried and protective too and asking questions. That’s her child and grandchild. Especially as Ari seems blinded by love and easily manipulated .  They both have an odd way of continually grinning. They’d  never get jobs as TV news reporters, especially with today’s news.
 

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3 minutes ago, politichick said:

I wouldn't call Janice a "Karen." Her daughter did not turn out well AT ALL, mind you, but she's been kind to everyone and a good sport. Bini is sweet but as clueless as Ari. I wouldn't want my child, no matter what age, to live in the hovels he presented with a man, however, kind and loving, who has not proven himself able to support their budding family. Those two are not dealing with reality. Hopefully her other kids are responsible human beings.

Janice, kind?  I don't think so.

I saw xenophobia, racism and "I'm better than you people."

If Ari didn't turn out too well, Janice may have something to do with it.

Does Janice realize that Bini has family too?  Janice seems to think that because she's white, American and educated, she's the best to do everything for her daughter and grandchild; and it's not ONLY her grandchild either.

To me Janice is a Karen.

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2 minutes ago, Pondlass1 said:

Much of this is set up by production of course. But it’s fascinating to me to see the differences in cultures around the world. I wish this franchise would show more of that rather than contrived drama.  Jihoon’s mother ordering the dad to go away and stand over there compared to Kazan’s parents where mother would never be allowed to say such a thing to a man. Smit possibly having to chose between Jenny and family, etc.
And the expectation in many cultures that the children continually send money. 

I’m obviously in the minority when it comes to Ari’s mother. I’d be worried and protective too and asking questions. That’s her child and grandchild. Especially as Ari seems blinded by love and easily manipulated .  They both have an odd way of continually grinning. They’d  never get jobs as TV news reporters, especially with today’s news.
 

You are not alone. I'd be concerned even if my daughter was a rational, responsible adult as opposed to a dimwit like Ari. That girl has issues and was in a very dark place when she was younger and started cutting, so her parents may have allowed her to get away with a lot of stuff for fear of her falling into despair again.

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I agree, @Neurochick.  I saw a lot of Ari's mom's condescension in every word out of her mouth.  I felt like she was testing them, as if they had to prove that they're good people to her.  They were nothing but lovely to her and she still seemed to ooze "this isn't quite up to my expectations, but keep trying!"

I did get a good chuckle out of Janice asking Ari so many questions that she had no answer to.  Sure, she was trying to show Ari that she doesn't really know Bini as well as she thinks she does, despite carrying his child.  I think it just made Ari dig her heels in even deeper.  

Everyone on this episode was a wreck.  It isn't even fun to watch anymore.  But here I am.

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9 minutes ago, politichick said:

Well, I am black and my mother would have dragged me to the airport the moment she saw those apartments, as would all of the black mothers of my black friends. And she would not have tolerated the vague, clueless answers Ari and Bini provided to her questions and concerns.  I also don't think they would try to keep the child from seeing its father if she did decide to return to the U.S., though I understand the sisters' concerns.

I'm also black and my black mother would have told me exactly what she thought to Bini and it was my decision to stay or go.  

So you mom would have forcibly dragged a grown adult to the airport against their will?  Interesting.   

Whatever happened to adults having to make their own decisions?  

Edited by Neurochick
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6 minutes ago, Uncle JUICE said:

I have to agree that I don't think Janice is as bad as all that, I think it leaps to a lot of conclusions. I don't think American grandparents to be, of any creed or color, would have said "This is totally the best situation for my daughter and her first born, moving the a country with few economic opportunities for anyone and even fewer for women, to live in either one room or an unfinished and dangerous apartment, where the breadwinner is a "dancer" and expects that to support an entire family, consider my blessing granted!"

So what do you suggest?  Dragging her back by her hair?  

Nothing wrong with telling her daughter exactly what you just stated, but ultimately it's Ari's decision.  Dragging her back, making her feel guilty, screaming doesn't work in the long run.  

Sometimes you have to accept things.  Doesn't mean you agree with them though.  

Edited by Neurochick
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2 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

So what do you suggest?  Dragging her back by her hair?  

Sometimes you have to accept things.  Doesn't mean you agree with them though.

I don't think that's her plan, to drag her back by her hair. I think she's just made this trip to see with her own eyes and to provide her daughter with honest parental feedback, maybe some "cold light of day" perspective that might have otherwise be or have been obscured by her love for Binyam, as they hadn't seen each other in months. Her daughter likely has a history of overlooking the massive challenges in front of her in relationships, and it seems Janice isn't basically Deaven's mom ("GET ON THIS PLANE WITH ME NOW" essentially). I could be wrong, but I get the feeling that Janice is only there to say "The no hot water thing, that's going to get pretty old, no?" or "Their drinking water reservoir is cleaned with leaves, hm, that's unusual." At the end, if Ariela is like "Hell or high water I'm staying here," I think Janice will tearfully depart, waiting and knowing that eventually she's going to have to bail her daughter out of this mess, hoping that she hasn't burned her US passport in the meantime.  

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4 minutes ago, Uncle JUICE said:

and it seems Janice isn't basically Deaven's mom ("GET ON THIS PLANE WITH ME NOW" essentially).

Thank God for that.  If Janice did that, her daughter would probably follow Deavan's example, have a baby with a man child she barely knows.  

But I still felt the judgement oozing off of Janice and looking at Bini's family as if they were stuff on the bottom of her shoe.  

Edited by Neurochick
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1 minute ago, Neurochick said:

Thank God for that.  If Janice did that, her daughter would probably follow Deavan's example, have a baby with a man child she barely knows.  

Eeeeh...little late on that score :). I really don't get how hard it is to manage birth control properly. GO ahead, have a vacation fuck sesh with whoever you want, but BIRTH CONTROL. 

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1 minute ago, Uncle JUICE said:

Eeeeh...little late on that score :). I really don't get how hard it is to manage birth control properly. GO ahead, have a vacation fuck sesh with whoever you want, but BIRTH CONTROL. 

I think Deavan knows that no matter what, her mom will always be there to catch her, and to take care of whatever children she gives birth to.

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3 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

I think Deavan knows that no matter what, her mom will always be there to catch her, and to take care of whatever children she gives birth to.

I think you can say the same about Ariela, except for the taking care of the children part. I think I read Deavan's mom is a bit of a social media...uh...presence. And I know this is a terrible thing to say, but there's something about giant thigh tattoos that just scream "long history of emotional damage" to me. And I have tattoos! I don't know why that particular tattoo sends up a flag (it's on the same list as face tattoo, front or side of neck tattoo, and knuckle tattoos that spell things), but look, I'm just being honest and living my truth. 

🙂

8 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

 

But I still felt the judgement oozing off of Janice and looking at Bini's family as if they were stuff on the bottom of her shoe.  

I read that as caught off guard by the raw meat ritual, but to her credit she didn't do what Angeloa would have done. She partook without a production. 

Edited by Uncle JUICE
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The huge bottle of tequila on Melyza's family's table was the most interesting thing about this episode.

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14 hours ago, Adeejay said:

Jenny seemed confident when she told Summit's brother that she wasn't going anywhere.  However, I would bet good money that if Summit was told he had to choose between her and his parents, her ass would be on the first plane back to California.  

  

My opinion, she is just incredibly stupid. The ENTIRE Indian culture is not going to change because of her and her lying liar!!

And you are absolutely right, when they give him an ultimatum,  he will be gone.

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Are Americans really this clueless and tunnel visioned?  It’s not that hard to understand cultural differences and to abide by them when moving to a different country.  And if it is, do it anyway. Yes, parental approval is important in India. Yes, female submissiveness is the norm in Jordan.  Yes, PDA is dangerous in some areas of Mexico.  I’ve worked with many people who were expected to send money, clothing, pantry staples etc home to their families. These practices are as ingrained In them as our American beliefs are.  It’s so arrogant to go to another country and expect the natives to bend to your beliefs and values.

it might be a different story if Americans were so inclined.  But we all know that’s not the case.  Our message to immigrants  is “you’re in America now.  This is how we do it here”. 

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Quick thoughts:

I'm sorry but I'm not eating raw meat. Period. I would seriously gag if someone tried to hand feed me, let alone raw meat. There are some things you can suck up when visiting a different culture, but I would not be successful at this one. His sisters did not look friendly at first. One of them said that Bini doesn't have a good history and now brought "another American." Coupled with his explanation of having to tell white lies because you know, women just get too angry at the truth.... cue Connie Francis' Lipstick on Your Collar. 

Jihoon looked crushed when /Deavan said they could use "his" money to find another apartment.

Tim is trash. Melzya (sp) is way above his league. He just comes across as such a dolt, a dumbass big galoot.

Forwarded past Jenny and Sumit.

Ari's mom gets to watch her totally unprepared for life daughter consider staying in Ethiopia with a guy who will cheat in no time at all. I say again: way to go, mom and dad!

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3 hours ago, Schnickelfritz said:

Trivia - 3,000 USD = 3,588,401.75 KRW (South Korean Won) (or $1= 1,196.16 won)

Did anyone notice the denomination of the bills Jihoon and his banker pulled out of the bank? Maybe they gave her 3,000 won ($2.50) and called it a day. Undoubtedly not, but the idea made me laugh because Deaven taking absolutely no responsibility  for any  of this mess is getting on my  nerves.

Free Jihoon's father!

It said 50000 on each bill. Pic below. I Googled and 50000 Korean Won is 41.85.  

2 hours ago, Neurochick said:

I saw xenophobia, racism and "I'm better than you people."

From day one, Janice struck me as an "I'm better than you" type. She's like Kalani's father without the violence, "I'm here to make sure my daughter lives in the lifestyle to which she is accustomed." Well then take her home. Not happening. I'm sure it sucks to watch her kid make what she thinks will be a terrible decision, but she can look no further than the nearest mirror to see why Ari is as clueless as she is. 

 

 

won.JPG

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1 minute ago, configdotsys said:

From day one, Janice struck me as an "I'm better than you" type. She's like Kalani's father without the violence, "I'm here to make sure my daughter lives in the lifestyle to which she is accustomed." Well then take her home. Not happening. I'm sure it sucks to watch her kid make what she thinks will be a terrible decision, but she can look no further than the nearest mirror to see why Ari is as clueless as she is. 

Correct.

28 minutes ago, configdotsys said:

I'm sorry but I'm not eating raw meat. Period. I would seriously gag if someone tried to hand feed me, let alone raw meat. There are some things you can suck up when visiting a different culture, but I would not be successful at this one. His sisters did not look friendly at first.

I wouldn't have eaten raw meat either, but I have eaten Ethiopian food and it was so damn good, don't eat with a knife and fork though.  

I think his sisters caught Karen's Janice's stick eye and reacted accordingly.  

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Jenny and Sumit: The brother is obviously tired of acting as a go-between/peacemaker between Sumit and the parents. Hence, his enthusiasm for a big family meeting. Either the parents will be OK with the relationship and direct communication will be restored, or there will be a big blowup leading to Sumit's exile from the family and/or Jenny's departure. In any case, he'll be off the hook.

Tim and Melyza: Melyza has two choices if she wants a healthy relationship: forgive the affair that happened OVER A YEAR AGO, or dump him and move on to another guy. Either is acceptable. What she cannot do is pretend to take him back, then lord his infidelity over him every minute of every day. Have they had a conversation about any other topic? And after a year of apparently talking about nothing else, what new revelations are there to uncover? I can only imagine their conversations a decade from now:

Tim: "Happy New Year! Here's to a great new decade of the 2030s!"

Melyza: "OMG Tim, who cares??? We still need to talk some more about that time you cheated on me in 2019. Now why did you invite her over again?"

Why Tim would even want this is a mystery.

Deaven and Jihoon: Jihoon is a total flake, but Deaven's "Give me money so I know you love me" routine is ridiculous. And am I the only one who thinks she's worked very hard to perfect that sobbing quaver in her voice? His parents are hilarious, though. Give them their own show.

Finally, both Ari and Deaven should cut the cord with their overbearing sMothers.

 

Edited by Sir RaiderDuck OMS
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So, this was in Jezebel today. It expresses a lot of the things I've been feeling about this franchise lately. (I looked for a media thread but didn't find one, so I put it here, hope that's OK).

https://themuse.jezebel.com/90-day-fiance-the-other-way-tells-a-story-of-passport-1844458876?utm_campaign=Jezebel&utm_content=1595875428&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_source=facebook&fbclid=IwAR2Y7k7DFeuuT3T0ZZJHhpIXOqYOnFxQM3YLPonDvpVOphDXqz0bBuGMf9c

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8 hours ago, Neurochick said:

Ari's mom, Janice is totally a "Karen."  I could just see the xenophobia and racism oozing off her.

I think Janice is a “soft Karen”. Meaning that she does say some condescending things, but in a nice way. She was right to be concerned about Ari being safe having the baby in Ethiopia. But she does give condescending looks to Biniyam, sometimes.

The thing that I like the most about Janice is that she can see the red flags. She’s got a point and I don’t think Ari can see this through. I don’t really think Ari is able to make a choice. She isn’t grown up, she’s just a girl in a woman’s body.

Edited by Hotel Snarker
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9 hours ago, Persnickety1 said:

So we've got Sumit and Amit.  

I'm waiting for a third brother, Dimwit, to show up. 

When they come on I say damn it.

8 hours ago, Dobian said:

Ari was surprisingly low-key while watching Bini play butt bongo with his ex.

She seems to be on mood stabilizers.

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I'm probably on an island by myself, but I really missed my girl Brittany this episode!  She and Yazan have got to be the most mismatched couples that has ever been and it's just delightful!  Love her freak outs, tequila, and fighting with the in-laws.  Can not wait for more. lol

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20 minutes ago, MrBuhBye said:

When they come on I say damn it.

I've seen a couple of great memes floating around on Facebook with the different ways Jenny says "Sumit," complete with pictures.  They're pretty entertaining.

It crossed my mind when I kept hearing her call him "Smit" this time around that she's seen those memes and acted accordingly.

Of course, it's that old fool Jenny, who can never stick with any one pronunciation of his name even though he is the love of her life 🤢

I wonder if ensuing episodes will treat us to her calling him "Smut" or "Smeet."  If she starts calling him "Smut," I may just chortle myself into oblivion.  Maybe she'll just start calling him Smitty and save herself all of that confusion.  

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Re Melyza’s mother fat shaming Tim:

1) Who does that to a guest, especially right at the beginning of the night?

2) Who does that after presenting a huge array of food?  Tim should have said “you’re right, I won’t be eating any of this shit.”

3) Who does this when they are not themselves exactly thin?

4) Would the cheating have been less serious if Tim were thin?  Pick your issue.

8 minutes ago, Persnickety1 said:

I've seen a couple of great memes floating around on Facebook with the different ways Jenny says "Sumit," complete with pictures.  They're pretty entertaining.

She used to say Sumee but almost like Smee, who was Captain Hook’s henchman.

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2 hours ago, Pepper Mostly said:

So, this was in Jezebel today. It expresses a lot of the things I've been feeling about this franchise lately. (I looked for a media thread but didn't find one, so I put it here, hope that's OK).

https://themuse.jezebel.com/90-day-fiance-the-other-way-tells-a-story-of-passport-1844458876?utm_campaign=Jezebel&utm_content=1595875428&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_source=facebook&fbclid=IwAR2Y7k7DFeuuT3T0ZZJHhpIXOqYOnFxQM3YLPonDvpVOphDXqz0bBuGMf9c

Fantastic article, thank you for it.  I think the part about Ari and her privileged mother, Karen I mean Janice.

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5 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

Fantastic article, thank you for it.  I think the part about Ari and her privileged mother, Karen I mean Janice.

Probably an unpopular opinion, but what really irked me was the reaction of Janice to the apartment Bini was trying to fix up for Ariela.

He's one man.  He has two arms, two hands, and two legs.  He works at night as a dancer at a club.  He is, presumably all on his own, been working on fixing up this second apartment in his spare time.  

Instead of offering to hire some of his local friends to help him get it done quicker, she just informs him that this will be at least a 30-day job and likely much longer.  

I was sitting here saying to myself, "Bitch, crack open your wallet and hire people to help the poor guy."

Ugh, at least he's TRYING, which is a lot more than most of these chucklefucks do.  

Yeah, I'm not a big fan of Janice, either.  This is the life her little fair-haired girl has chosen.  Let her live it.  She'll probably be back before the baby's first birthday anyway.  

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1 minute ago, Mr. Miner said:

Hey Cheesedick! It’s scrambled eggs, calm down you fucking dork!

He has tried but he just can’t make them.  It’s two ingredients dude.  

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7 hours ago, SerenityNow721 said:

Are Americans really this clueless and tunnel visioned?  It’s not that hard to understand cultural differences and to abide by them when moving to a different country.  And if it is, do it anyway. Yes, parental approval is important in India. Yes, female submissiveness is the norm in Jordan.  Yes, PDA is dangerous in some areas of Mexico.  I’ve worked with many people who were expected to send money, clothing, pantry staples etc home to their families. These practices are as ingrained In them as our American beliefs are.  It’s so arrogant to go to another country and expect the natives to bend to your beliefs and values.

it might be a different story if Americans were so inclined.  But we all know that’s not the case.  Our message to immigrants  is “you’re in America now.  This is how we do it here”. 

The Americans:

"This country's culture is inferior to American culture and therefore its citizens are ignorant/repressed/unhappy. 

I'm not going to waste my time trying to understand it.

As an American, it's my responsibility to tell them how stupid I think their cultural beliefs/norms are so they'll realize how ignorant/repressed/unhappy they are compared to Americans. Then I'll teach them the vastly superior American way of doing things."

Oh wait. I just described the mindset of colonialists!

Edited by TwirlyGirly
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8 hours ago, SerenityNow721 said:

Are Americans really this clueless and tunnel visioned?  It’s not that hard to understand cultural differences and to abide by them when moving to a different country.  And if it is, do it anyway. Yes, parental approval is important in India. Yes, female submissiveness is the norm in Jordan.  Yes, PDA is dangerous in some areas of Mexico.  I’ve worked with many people who were expected to send money, clothing, pantry staples etc home to their families. These practices are as ingrained In them as our American beliefs are.  It’s so arrogant to go to another country and expect the natives to bend to your beliefs and values.

it might be a different story if Americans were so inclined.  But we all know that’s not the case.  Our message to immigrants  is “you’re in America now.  This is how we do it here”. 

Dr Kirk Honda of Psychology in Seattle said, and I agree, that the United States is one of the few countried where you don't need parental approval.  It can be a bit of a turn on: "We will prove them wrong, dammit!"  And the Americans nattering (and badgering) about "You are gonna stand up for me, right?"  Yeah.....no, he is not.  Just as you were brought up certain values, so were they.

 

10 hours ago, politichick said:

I wouldn't call Janice a "Karen." Her daughter did not turn out well AT ALL, mind you, but she's been kind to everyone and a good sport. Bini is sweet but as clueless as Ari. I wouldn't want my child, no matter what age, to live in the hovels he presented with a man, however, kind and loving, who has not proven himself able to support their budding family. Those two are not dealing with reality. Hopefully her other kids are responsible human beings.

 

I would have a hard time leaving my grown child to live in a hovel with wires exposed, no refridgeration and subpar toilet.  And having a baby to boot.

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5 hours ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

I would have a hard time leaving my grown child to live in a hovel with wires exposed, no refridgeration and subpar toilet.  And having a baby to boot.

I can see my parents being, "good luck with that", if it were me, and my dad slipping me a few bucks.  They would 100% let me find my own way, and they understand that people have happy, healthy babies outside the US every day.

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