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PrincessPurrsALot

S03.E02: Bad at Being Good

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Shavel is stunned by Quaylon's lies; Jessica has a release day meltdown; Shawn comes clean to his family.

A felon lied!  People who are surprised:

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 Jessica has a meltdown! 

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And yet another person explains to their family that the love of their life is someone they met through a  prisoner dating website. Educated guess, they find the person physically attractive and are thinking:

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Or deep spiritual connection that involves a penis and a vagina. 

Grab some popcorn, your favorite beverage and settle in for episode two with the new cast.  It's time for some of these folks to meet in person (or maybe not).  Let the gaslighting begin! 

Original air date 2020.7.24

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It’s going to take more time for me to learn the new names.

What a kick in the throat it must have been to be told the father of your 6 children who wouldn’t marry you over the course of over 22 years,  is going to marry an ex-con he has never even met in person. His poor daughter.  The kids are always so much smarter than their parents featured on this show.

I forget now who said “patterins”, but it might be the same guy who has a lot of life aberrations. I enjoy the accidental new words that blossom on these episodes.

Interesting that neither the girlfriend nor the mother of the man who lied to them both are actually mad at him about it.  He thinks he can find some middle answer without having to choose which one to live with, but that’s not how geography works, my dude.

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"I'm not in love with you yet", totally screams instant wedding.  Your instincts are spot on, sex in a truck bed man!

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2 hours ago, Irritable said:

I forget now who said “patterins”, but it might be the same guy who has a lot of life aberrations. I enjoy the accidental new words that blossom on these episodes.

Exuberated

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Tight dress girl...It doesn't matter how tight, short, and lowcut it is, if you look like a sausage spilling out its casing when you wear it then it's just not sexy.

When the chick was waiting and suddenly bent over, my daughter grabbed the remote and started hitting the buttons while furiously screaming, "Danger, Will Robinson! Abort, abort!" 

The strange looking older trick is interesting to me. I totally believe she's using him, but she has zero problems letting her daughter get attached to him. My first thought was, "Well, maybe there IS more going on in the relationship than I thought..." But then reality hit and I was like, Nah. She's planting him into her family's garden to squeeze more cash out of him, and he's laying down the fertilizer to make it harder for her to dump him...

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1 hour ago, Kangatush said:

Exuberated

We are going to get a whole new language this season.  

1 hour ago, JennyJennJen said:

Why does that one chick put makeup on her legs?!?

Because she's so pale she's afraid that, without makeup, if she stands next to a white wall it will look like she has no legs?  Seeing her putting on makeup, I expected Jim Gaffigan to show up to tell jokes about how pale she is. In her dress, she looked like two pigs fighting in a sack.  That was one small move away from a  wardrobe malfunction. 

Hmm, Quaylon has been in prison his entire adult life.  Can't see why he wouldn't make a great father.  I mean, it's not like he might want to spend time doing other things before he settles down. 

I am weirdly enjoying Shavel's mom's wigs.  Same cut, different color.  

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 Exuberated is going right up there with “makin’ dookie” and  the sector of the time scale, closely followed by how to be more juvial.

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Stray thoughts:

  • Jessica kept saying “My heart is going to burst out of my chest!” Girl, something’s about to burst out, but it ain’t your heart.
     
  • I literally laughed out loud at the double take Shawn’s ex made when he told her he was going to marry a convict he’d never met. After living with the ex for 20+ years but never getting married.
    1312385549_ScreenShot2020-07-25at7_17_54AM.jpg.69eae19c69369d3dc8e1dd164a7f5920.jpg
  • Kristianna really was impressed by the limo. But girlfriend, just wait until you see the wedding chapel.
     
  • The show proved once again that, at least in the Lockup universe, children are smarter than the adults.
     
  • The standard Lockup response when your relatives question why you would be getting involved with a criminal: “People change, you know.!” Umm, no, John. They usually don’t.
     
  • Standard response #2 when a relative asks how you can love someone you’ve never met: “When you know, you just know.”
Edited by dsteele
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Sal the Limo Driver for the win. I loved him. He reminded me of every limo driver I've ever seen. 

"Why should I go to college and get a degree when I make $10,000 on a Saturday night selling meth?" Um, OK. 

Maurice is "exuberated" and Quaylon has "aberrations". Its going to be a long season. 

 

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Please tell me I did not see Michael and Sarah and a preview for yet more Life After Lockup...

I am enjoying this round of felons/marks.  Should be an interesting season.  I can't remember anyone's names so I can't say anything more than that.

Oh except for this...Shavell...you said you didn't do things "right" when you had your daughter.  Whatever, I'm not judging.  But what part of doing things "right" involves a felon locked up for most of his adult life who didn't spell your name correctly?

 

 

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I am seriously getting old and cranky. These episodes are like 95% filler. Why all the drama with them getting out? Do viewers really want to see the blonde druggie waiting outside the prison for hours? The long scripted talks with family-- again-- before they go to get the prisoner?  So much explaining stuff that we already know. My God, I was bored out of my mind. Absolutely nothing happened this episode except the blonde druggie's husband got out and was exuberated. 

Edited by configdotsys
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Aw, I felt a little bad for Scott. His only child was killed in a car crash 3 years ago; 'coincidentally' he then falls for a girl young enough to be his daughter. I feel really bad for Lindsey's poor mother and daughter (who's adorable). I hope he gets out before she sucks him dry financially, but he seems like a fool.

I don't know who lied to who, but Quaylon would be far better off in Houston- much more work available, especially for unqualified/unskilled workers (at least at the time this was filmed). Shavel seems sweet, but very unrealistic, and I'm voting for her as 'most likely to get knocked up' this season.

Christianna is dressed like a mailman, has a lower voice than John, and looks like she could pick up John's 'native American' ass and carry him to the car limo like a puppy. I must have missed that they've only known each other 3 months, which makes the rush to get married even weirder.

Father-of-six guy (can't remember his name) seems to have something wrong with his upper lip, like Scott. He seems really dim. His poor, sweet daughter thinks he's trying to 'start a new family'. I was cheering at the baby mama calling him out for not marrying her, too bad she didn't see the light 5 kids ago.

At least Jessica and Maurice were mutually happy to see each other. That dress, oy. I'm surprised the prison didn't report a hooker loitering outside the gates, but I suppose they're used to seeing women waiting there in outfits from Thirst Mart. She is unfortunate looking, but her hair is pretty, and she doesn't trowel on the makeup, I guess.

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Thoughts as I’m watching. I’m having trouble learning names so forgive me. 

This woman and her mother/grandmother let this 50 year old man around the daughter and take her shopping? Jesus Christ. 

“My past choice in women has not been great.” Neither is your current choice. 

I have to wonder how often prison guards think to themselves “dumb bitch/bastard”

Shavel’s mom-“The jury’s still out.”  Pretty sure the jury decided and convicted Quaylon. (Assuming he actually went to trial.)

These people are criminals bout their “loves” are criminally stupid. 

I feel really bad for a Lindsey’s mother/grandmother and daughter. Working in education, I see this so much and it’s heartbreaking. 

Omg, this man lost his son in a car accident. It explains some of his actions. 🙁

“She doesn’t even know we’re getting married” is not a sentence that should ever be uttered.

This woman flat out told this moron she’s not in love with him and he thinks they’re going to get married on her release day? Mother of god. 

Ugh, these assholes on both sides bringing their kids into these messes. Infuriating. 

Still on MySpace! (I just liked Love After Lockup on FB. I’m so embarrassed. )

Commercial - what the fuck happened to that crazy chik’s teeth??? They look worse! (Josh’s insane woman)

I know I’ll regret saying this, but I kind of like Maurice right now. Cute, seems to have a good personality. I know the dumpster fire is coming, but I’ll enjoy these few minutes. 

Edited by DanaMB
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14 minutes ago, DanaMB said:

I kind of like Maurice right now.

Some people call him the Space Cowboy. Some call him the Gangster of Love. 

What? Somebody had to do it. 

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15 hours ago, PrincessPurrsALot said:

I am weirdly enjoying Shavel's mom's wigs.  Same cut, different color.

This is the lady with the yellow lipstick?

I like the looks of this new crowd.  I think we're in for a good (i.e. bad) season!

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Catching up tonight... lord baby Jesus 14 min in and if I shake my head in amazement at how stupid these people are anymore I’m gonna need a chiropractor lol ... the stand out is did he marry me just to have sex in prison lol giiiirl really?

Edited by Keywestclubkid
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Oh wow, what a bunch of losers. No wonder Sausage Dress Woman's family were horrified, when she described her husband as "a Compton Crip". Does she honestly believe he's not been associating with any gang members in prison?  I've watched enough of 60 Days In to know that gang affiliations are fully maintained behind bars.

Limo man (sorry, don't know anyone's names yet) is a cretin. I hope Kristiana (I remembered hers tho) has enough gumption to turn down his proposal, although the idea of consummating my marriage in the bed of a truck with the officiant, guests and a camera crew a few feet away is romance on a scale I doubt even I could resist.

The choice of an orange wig paired with gold lipstick was a bold one, but I think Rap Lady's mom pulled it off. I also liked the cerise wig but was disappointed not to see green lipstick to complement it. Rap Lady is also a cretin, thinking it's a good idea to bring a man who's never lived outside of a prison into her home where there is a child. When she said her little girl calls him Daddy, I almost threw up. Her prison boyfriend doesn't have the life skills to be able to navigate a relationship. He needs to be living at home with his mom, take advantage of any programs to help him get into work or education and learn how to live in the outside world. He's going to find too many distractions otherwise.

Sad-faced man with six kids needs a slap. Is he the one where he's not been allowed to see pictures of her because she said she's put a little weight on? I can't wait to see her come waddling out of the jail.  The idea that he could end up owing $50,000 bail for someone he's never met is beyond senseless when he has six children to take care of.

The older man is a cash cow for his young girlfriend. Her daughter is a lovely little girl and she genuinely seems to like him. He's had a sad life but it's clear that if he didn't have money, a 27-year-old very attractive woman would not be interested in him. Let's see how long she lasts if he decides to reduce the non-stop flow of cash from his wallet. Their relationship will transactional, with her feigning affection and him trying desperately to believe she loves him for who he is, before she ends up back on drugs and breaks his heart. I think her mom is hoping that this older man with plenty of money will give her daughter the things she wants without her needing to sell drugs to buy them. Drugs are so destructive that I'm sure the mom would be delighted to have a son-in-law who's older than her if it means her daughter doesn't go back on drugs.

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3 hours ago, essexjan said:

because she said she's put a little weight on

It will be interesting to see what twenty pounds translates to in reality.  Like every drunk driver tells the cop he just had two beers.

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"She's a very beautiful young pretty white girl"

Not too creepy....   Mom is more age appropriate  for you 

18 hours ago, cooksdelight said:

 Exuberated is going right up there with “makin’ dookie” and  the sector of the time scale, closely followed by how to be more juvial.

Don't forget "ovulatin'"

Oh. That dress.  At 7 AM? Girlfriend has  confidence

"A lesson or a bless'n"  Truth 

Shawn's ex. You're right.  People rarely change.  SIX kids.

The limo driver  💕💕💕

What's the difference between robbery and burglary?

Pretty good season, so far 

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13 hours ago, DanaMB said:

Commercial - what the fuck happened to that crazy chik’s teeth??? They look worse! (Josh’s insane woman)

You mean turd burglar?

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3 hours ago, OoogleEyes said:

What's the difference between robbery and burglary?

Robbery is stealing from a person, like a mugging, or holding up a liquor store.  Burglary is stealing from a place, like breaking in to an empty house, or taking stuff from a construction site.

 

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12 hours ago, essexjan said:

Limo man (sorry, don't know anyone's names yet) is a cretin. I hope Kristiana (I remembered hers tho) has enough gumption to turn down his proposal, although the idea of consummating my marriage in the bed of a truck with the officiant, guests and a camera crew a few feet away is romance on a scale I doubt even I could resist.

 

@essexjan, I wish I could like your post one hundred times, but the above really stood out and made me laugh indecently loudly. Romance! 

Jessica loves that her man is a "Compton Crip". LOVES it. She adores the thought of being a gangbanger's moll. Guaranteed we'll see the scene with all her Rent-A-Girlfriends who will express their horror and chagrin at Jessica's choice of mate, while Jessica will barely be able to keep the grin of pride off her face. Like Meghan before her. She loves this little frisson of danger. Of course, there's always a chance that there will be genuine, heart stopping danger soon enough. 

Glad to see all my LAL peeps again! 

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10 hours ago, OoogleEyes said:

"A lesson or a bless'n" 

This was the best line of the episode.

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11 hours ago, OoogleEyes said:

Oh. That dress.  At 7 AM? Girlfriend has confidence no mirror.

FTFY

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9 hours ago, Kangatush said:

Robbery is stealing from a person, like a mugging, or holding up a liquor store.  Burglary is stealing from a place, like breaking in to an empty house, or taking stuff from a construction site.

 

Don’t even start me on assault versus battery.

3 hours ago, Pepper Mostly said:

Jessica loves that her man is a "Compton Crip".

Isn’t Lamar one too?  I thought the wedding was in Crip colors.

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8 hours ago, Pepper Mostly said:

Limo man (sorry, don't know anyone's names yet)

I call him McCloud.  He’s nowhere near as handsome as Dennis Weaver was in that role .... but think about it. Head in the clouds all the time...

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2 hours ago, cooksdelight said:

I call him McCloud.  He’s nowhere near as handsome as Dennis Weaver was in that role .... but think about it. Head in the clouds all the time...

His name is Sal. That's not my quote! I think every limo driver I've ever had has been named Sal. Or Vinny. 

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On 7/24/2020 at 10:20 PM, Kangatush said:

Exuberated

I admire his hustle, but that guy is doing too much.  I fully expect him to sell tee shirts with extubetated! Emblazoned across the front.  

 

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On 7/24/2020 at 7:47 PM, Irritable said:

It’s going to take more time for me to learn the new names.

What a kick in the throat it must have been to be told the father of your 6 children who wouldn’t marry you over the course of over 22 years,  is going to marry an ex-con he has never even met in person. His poor daughter.  The kids are always so much smarter than their parents featured on this show.

I forget now who said “patterins”, but it might be the same guy who has a lot of life aberrations. I enjoy the accidental new words that blossom on these episodes.

Interesting that neither the girlfriend nor the mother of the man who lied to them both are actually mad at him about it.  He thinks he can find some middle answer without having to choose which one to live with, but that’s not how geography works, my dude.

That guy is a natural born fool and destinee looks like a troll in her intro photo.  

If Matt sharp loves me she will be catfishing the hell out of him. 

The only reason destinee is good enough to marry and the mother of his SIX children isn't is because he thinks destinee is hot and he only deserves a hot, young wife. 

The fact that he had the nerve to take an annoyed tone with his ex was infuriating. 

Edited by RealReality
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On 7/24/2020 at 11:51 PM, PrincessPurrsALot said:

We are going to get a whole new language this season.  

Because she's so pale she's afraid that, without makeup, if she stands next to a white wall it will look like she has no legs?  Seeing her putting on makeup, I expected Jim Gaffigan to show up to tell jokes about how pale she is. In her dress, she looked like two pigs fighting in a sack.  That was one small move away from a  wardrobe malfunction. 

Hmm, Quaylon has been in prison his entire adult life.  Can't see why he wouldn't make a great father.  I mean, it's not like he might want to spend time doing other things before he settles down. 

I am weirdly enjoying Shavel's mom's wigs.  Same cut, different color.  

Did shavels mother have her when she was 10?  I think her skin looks amazing!

Quaylon is probably not a super awesome person, but I'm confused as to why that woman's sister won't even talk to her anymore.

Yeah, he was convicted of robbery so don't have him over for dinner, but he isn't a pedophile, so IMO, her refusal to even talk to her sister see odd.  But the girl seems weird too.  I guess she was instatanning her legs or trying to hide varicose veins.  But her boobs were clearly the main attraction and focal point. so it seems like wasted effort. 

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32 minutes ago, RealReality said:

Did shavels mother have her when she was 10?  I think her skin looks amazing!

Quaylon is probably not a super awesome person, but I'm confused as to why that woman's sister won't even talk to her anymore.

Yeah, he was convicted of robbery so don't have him over for dinner, but he isn't a pedophile, so IMO, her refusal to even talk to her sister see odd.  But the girl seems weird too.  I guess she was instatanning her legs or trying to hide varicose veins.  But her boobs were clearly the main attraction and focal point. so it seems like wasted effort. 

I think the one in Vegas is with Maurice.

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55 minutes ago, MrBuhBye said:

I think the one in Vegas is with Maurice.

You're right mea culpa

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Interesting what Scott said Lindsey.  He doesn't think she's a troublemaker, trouble finds her because she's a "beautiful, young white girl."  WTF is that supposed to mean?  So he's saying that if she wasn't white she'd be looking for trouble?  Don't care about the "made up" words when shit like this comes out of someone's mouth.

Okay.

Edited by Neurochick
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2 hours ago, Neurochick said:

Interesting what Scott said Lindsey.  He doesn't think she's a troublemaker, trouble finds her because she's a "beautiful, young white girl."  WTF is that supposed to mean?  So he's saying that if she wasn't white she'd be looking for trouble?  Don't care about the "made up" words when shit like this comes out of someone's mouth.

Okay.

I totally side eyed that statement too.  

This is doubtless a bullshit narrative she has sold him ("all the black and latina girls hate me because I'm white, pretty victim") and he has the sort of belief system that absolutely allows him to believe that she is an innocent Disney princess victimized by all the "haters" 

I feel bad about his son, but that statement alone.made me hope that he ends up getting fleeced. 

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3 hours ago, Neurochick said:

Interesting what Scott said Lindsey.  He doesn't think she's a troublemaker, trouble finds her because she's a "beautiful, young white girl."  WTF is that supposed to mean?  So he's saying that if she wasn't white she'd be looking for trouble?

I did a double take when he said it and actually re-watched it because I thought I didn't hear him correctly. Nope, he said it. What a fucked up thing to say. 

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1 hour ago, RealReality said:

I totally side eyed that statement too.  

This is doubtless a bullshit narrative she has sold him ("all the black and latina girls hate me because I'm white, pretty victim") and he has the sort of belief system that absolutely allows him to believe that she is an innocent Disney princess victimized by all the "haters" 

I feel bad about his son, but that statement alone.made me hope that he ends up getting fleeced. 

Does anyone know how fast the son was driving?  Single car accidents are often the result of recklessness.

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2 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

Does anyone know how fast the son was driving?  Single car accidents are often the result of recklessness.

You are correct.  I was a claims adjuster for years and "single vehicle accident" normally translated to "drunk driver who lost control."

Most of our single vehicle accidents  were late night/early mornings and on the weekend...or during the week for the more dedicated drinkers   

I noticed his son had a pretty fast looking bike but I can't remember if he said his son was a passenger. 

Edited by RealReality
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On 7/27/2020 at 12:34 AM, RealReality said:

Exuberated

Also: "paterins" (making new paterins, breaking old paterins) and "overwhelmness"

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On 7/29/2020 at 3:06 PM, linthia said:

Yeah, fits the pattern 2 am on a Sunday morning. 

After the bars close and house parties end.  No one knew exactly where the two had been prior to the accident, but I'd bet it was somewhere with liquor.  

Very, very, very sad.  Whatever mistakes you make you don't deserve to die at 19.  

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