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S05.E07: The Best Mistake Of My Life


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30 minutes ago, bravofan27 said:

 

Is it just me, or are Paul and Karine gross slobs? They are going to have the place trashed in no time. Eventually it will get so unlivable that Paul will just torch it like he did before

 

Yet he was wearing an N95 mask to clean a mildly dirty refrigerator.  I guess the standards are higher when it’s someone else’s filth.

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31 minutes ago, Persnickety1 said:

Ugh, and I was mesmerized by Jess' horrific thigh tattoos taking on a frightening life of their own, jiggling in every direction, as she walked next to him. 

Her teeth make her look like a chubby woodchuck.

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4 minutes ago, MrBuhBye said:

Yet he was wearing an N95 mask to clean a mildly dirty refrigerator.  I guess the standards are higher when it’s someone else’s filth.

I think that's exactly why he's so gross-- he's disgusted by filth and won't touch it. It's like the dog poops on the carpet and he just leaves it there because he doesn't want to touch it. Pretty soon the entire place is a petri dish.

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(edited)
45 minutes ago, bravofan27 said:

Is it just me, or are Paul and Karine gross slobs? They are going to have the place trashed in no time. Eventually it will get so unlivable that Paul will just torch it like he did before. 

You can bet money on that. Also, how effing helpless are they both? You know your place has windows that will need covering, so why not take a trip to Walmart and buy cheap shades or curtains and install them? Why stick pillows and sheets on the windows? How about a couple of cheap curtain rods and panels? Before they start moving their hoard in, how about not moving in the emoji poop pillows and assorted crap. How about looking at how you will use your space? Where will you eat? Sleep? Divide up the room? Normally I suggest that people in dire need go to the goodwill to buy furnishings, but with those two, I'm afraid they would just buy more crap. When you live in one room, you have to be minimal and creative with storage. The opposite of what those two are. 

Edited by poeticlicensed
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On 7/20/2020 at 6:53 PM, KateHearts said:

I am convinced that her calling him "Erickee" is at this point producer driven ("hey, it's so cute how you put 'ee' on names! Do it all the time!")

Yep, but for some reason “Colt, he is craze” without the legitimate ‘ee’  sound at the end where it belongs? As bad as Colt & Debbie were/are, I can’t stand Larissa — she is a disloyal user & manipulator with no conscience (and fwiw, Jess seems the same). 

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On 7/20/2020 at 7:53 PM, KateHearts said:

Finally Larissa.  I am convinced that her calling him "Erickee" is at this point producer driven ("hey, it's so cute how you put 'ee' on names! Do it all the time!")

Yes and it's annoying AF. Jess is from Brazil, the native language for both of them is Portuguese yet Jess doesn't put 'ee' on the end of any of her words when speaking english. 

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4 minutes ago, poeticlicensed said:

You can bet money on that. Also, how effing helpless are they both? You know your place has windows that will need covering, so why not take a trip to Walmart and buy cheap shades or curtains and install them? Why stick pillows and sheets on the windows? How about a couple of cheap curtain rods and panels? Before they start moving their hoard in, how about not moving in the emoji poop pillows and assorted crap. How about looking at how you will use your space? Where will you eat? Sleep? Divide up the room? Normally I suggest that people in dire need go to the goodwill to buy furnishings, but with those two, I'm afroad they would just buy more crap. When you live in one room, you have to be minimal and creative with storage. The opposite of what those two are. 

The stuff they have will get disgusting, so they will kick it aside and get new stuff, which will soon get dirty, which they will kick aside and buy new stuff. I had a friend that was like that. She had like 10 deodorants because she would throw them on the ground, it would get covered by dirty clothes or crap or whatever, and instead of looking for it and touching something that she thought was dirty, she would go buy a new one. Paul and Karine seem the same way.

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10 hours ago, itsadryheat said:

Where did these two beauties come from? They looked very healthy. My first thougth was what did they do to get stuck with Pole? Second thought was how in the world could Pole afford them food, vet, exercise, etc. Not like two little purse puppies. 

And how convenient the one room home just happens to have two large kennels for them.

I'm afraid of what they will look like after months under Pole's care.

So much yes, and I did notice that they went right into the kennel and immediately settled down so I'm pretty sure it had been their home for at least a few days.

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4 hours ago, antfitz said:

The house is small, but it's clean.

Yeah, on moving day! How long before they trash it? And as far as Paul having two big "guard dogs", what on earth could he possibly have to guard? That's as crazy as his bullet proof baby backpack. 

While I'm here, some other thoughts...

One of Libby's Coven sisters said she gave the family ample notice to go to her wedding in Belgium and now they claim they've "never been to Europe?" At one point, Libby did qualify it as "Eastern Europe" to the first wedding venue saleswoman, but in a TH, Libby only mentioned European travel. I picture her family as being the type who go on all inclusive low-end Caribbean cruises. 

If Michael's mother was concerned about Angela bringing him to America to "be a slave", after that pizza party there should be no doubt in her mind that's exactly what's in store for him. Angela is grooming him to be a servant who cooks, does laundry, housework and babysits six kids by day and services her bedroom needs by night.

Good on Mama Michael for eating the pizza without making a scene and not spitting it out into someone else's mouth. 

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I continue to love Father Andreii. He was sitting at the dinner table looking so defeated as his in-laws, Libby and even his other son are talking about how useless Andreii is. I just want to hug him.   

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3 hours ago, Polliwollidoodle said:

So mash screepting. (a l a Rebecca's beau whose name totally escapes me at the moment---------so much scripting)

Zied! That reminds me, weren't they supposed to be on this season? Or on yet another iteration of the 90 Day franchise? 

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13 hours ago, DVDFreaker said:

It looks like Libby’s brother and father will not let go about Anderi moving to Ireland so Andrei tells them to shut the **** up and they start to fight, if I were Andrei and Libby, I would put their asses on a plane back home and not invite them to the wedding

Huge numbers of people from Eastern Europe headed to Ireland around that time because they could earn a LOT more than in their home countries.  To me it just doesn't seem like the huge red flag Libby's asshole relatives are trying to make it into.

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1 hour ago, poeticlicensed said:

They are from Tampa, like me, and if you fly just about anywhere from here, you have to change planes in Atlanta, Charlotte, NYC, or Washington. There are almost no direct flights anywhere, particularly international flights. And only the luckiest of us actually find that the gate for our connecting flight is in the same conscourse. I swear sometimes I hear "Welcome to the plane train" for days after I fly through ATL. 

plus they had to change from an international flight arriving in Frankfurt to a local connection, probably change terminals and go through Customs and Immigration. I've connected in that airport and it is quite spread out, but not really any longer walking distance between the terminals than typical for an international airport. 

Edited by magemaud
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31 minutes ago, ThereButFor said:

Huge numbers of people from Eastern Europe headed to Ireland around that time because they could earn a LOT more than in their home countries.  To me it just doesn't seem like the huge red flag Libby's asshole relatives are trying to make it into.

Yeah there used to be a lot of Polish who would work in Ireland and fly back and forth on that budget airline.

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17 minutes ago, magemaud said:

plus they had to change from an international flight arriving in Frankfurt to a local connection, probably change terminals and go through Customs and Immigration. I've connected in that airport and it is quite spread out, but not really any longer distance between the terminals than usual. 

Chuck would be out of breath after three steps.

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8 hours ago, renatae said:

I can't believe that after all Asuelu's tantrums, it turns out his mother, sister, and other relatives live in the states! Their demands for money were rude and selfish. His sister thinks she should come before his kids? Witch.

Exactly! And the strip club “raining dollar bills” hand gesture was ridiculous! Go to work! Asuelu has two kids and part-time minimum wages — look to your many other kids/siblings to provide dollars. Just because he’s on a TV show, he doesn’t have Jimmy Fallon type money of his own (it’s earned with Kalani) to send your way before providing for his kids. Heck, his wife’s family is providing HIM with food & shelter! Take your car back to the dealer and give us money? Get bent.

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36 minutes ago, magemaud said:

plus they had to change from an international flight arriving in Frankfurt to a local connection, probably change terminals and go through Customs and Immigration. I've connected in that airport and it is quite spread out, but not really any longer distance between the terminals than usual. 

They had the stereotypical American attitude of wanting the world spread at their feet and god forbid they actually have to put forth some effort. I traveled in Europe several times in last few years and I whenever I heard someone complaining in an airport, train station or hotel, it was always an American. Last time we were in Italy the trains all went on strike. We had figured out long ago that with international travel you just have to go with the flow and deal. The number of Americans either paralyzed not knowing or understanding what to do or complaining to the ticket agents who frankly don;t give a crap was hilarious. I had done my homework (thanks google) and knew how to deal with and got to my destinantion only slightly delayed. Am I surprised that Family Libby was bitching? Nope, not a bit. 

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1 hour ago, MrBuhBye said:

Yet he was wearing an N95 mask to clean a mildly dirty refrigerator.  I guess the standards are higher when it’s someone else’s filth.

Paul is both a germaphobe and a slob which I find to be an interesting contradiction 

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1 hour ago, bichonblitz said:

I continue to love Father Andreii. He was sitting at the dinner table looking so defeated as his in-laws, Libby and even his other son are talking about how useless Andreii is. I just want to hug him.   

Mee too. Classy man.  Too bad his son didn’t take after him.  I just want to slap the hell out of him.  The sex will wear off ..then divorce.  Poor Libby.

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3 hours ago, Pondlass1 said:

The wobbly walk on the beach ... oh my. Coltee must get an awful rash on his thick thighs as they rub together with every step (chub rub).

Nothing wrong with thick thighs.  Not everybody has a thigh gap, especially when you're over 12.

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39 minutes ago, poeticlicensed said:

They had the stereotypical American attitude of wanting the world spread at their feet and god forbid they actually have to put forth some effort. I traveled in Europe several times in last few years and I whenever I heard someone complaining in an airport, train station or hotel, it was always an American. Last time we were in Italy the trains all went on strike. We had figured out long ago that with international travel you just have to go with the flow and deal. The number of Americans either paralyzed not knowing or understanding what to do or complaining to the ticket agents who frankly don;t give a crap was hilarious. I had done my homework (thanks google) and knew how to deal with and got to my destinantion only slightly delayed. Am I surprised that Family Libby was bitching? Nope, not a bit. 

So totally, totally right.  

One issue may be that many Americans aren't used to taking public transportation.  They're used to getting in their car and just going.  These are probably people who don't live in cities.  In places like NYC, you get used to shit like that.  

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2 hours ago, AZChristian said:

I know that Mother Asuelu is in Washington State right now, but what if when she asked for $1,000 she MEANT $1,000 tālā (Samoan money, properly written with a $)?  That would be $376.50 in American dollars.

I doubt it, but MAYBE.  LOL.

And the sister's "money shuffling" gesture looks to be a sure indication that she's used to demanding that people shell out to Mama . . . and probably her.

That's a possibility. Then sis needs a sugar daddy if she has to demand money from people. 

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2 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

He said he went to college for five years and then worked for one year as a detective at a desk job.  Maybe things are different there but in the US you are expected to work as a patrol officer first so that you um know something about law enforcement before you get promoted to detective.  And what detective could detect from a desk lol?

He had an office job looking up police reports and criminal records and things, I'm sure.  He probably got fired and doesn't want to talk about it.

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Angela was so funny last night.  My husband was choking with laughter.  She says it like it is.  What does she expect?  No wonder people want to come here.  Yeah, he loves her, hahahaha.  As soon as he can, he will split from Georgia and go hide somewhere.

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4 minutes ago, Dobian said:

He had an office job looking up police reports and criminal records and things, I'm sure.  He probably got fired and doesn't want to talk about it.

I  suspect you are right. Nobody gets to be a detective, without being a patrol officer first, unless they have a very specific skill set and education.  I bet he "detected" those files, hence he was a detective. 

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8 minutes ago, poeticlicensed said:

I  suspect you are right. Nobody gets to be a detective, without being a patrol officer first, unless they have a very specific skill set and education.  I bet he "detected" those files, hence he was a detective. 

They're making it seem like he has a Mike Ehrmentraut-esque backstory when in reality he was never in any way anything other than an intern at best. 

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5 minutes ago, Uncle JUICE said:

They're making it seem like he has a Mike Ehrmentraut-esque backstory when in reality he was never in any way anything other than an intern at best. 

Or a janitor in the Police Dept.

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If I was Paul’s wife, I would have him take me to Walmart, buy some disinfectant, curtains, Clorox and clean that place up ASAP.  Did they have a crib?  She just stands there.  Man can’t clean like a woman.  That refridge was not clean enough.  I didn’t read all the posts yet, so don’t know what everyone is saying.  I’m going to page 1 now.

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There's a subtext with the Andrei thing that pisses me off.  If Andrei stays at home with Eleanor, that's fucking work just like if LIbby stayed home with the baby.  Being a SAH parent is hard work and it's pissing me off they are treating him as though he does NOTHING.

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On 7/20/2020 at 7:53 PM, KateHearts said:

Honestly, this entire episode seemed soooo scripted.  First, we have Libby's idiot dad and brother immediately grilling Andrei in the car and rolling their eyes at absolutely everything Moldovan.  I am not a huge Andrei fan but can you blame him for resenting them? The two of them just going on and on and on... "Dude, tell us.  Bro, come on; you didn't just leave your family to go to another place without a reason." Then all of the stupid American questions.  And the endless complaining... yes, sometimes airports are crowded. Yes, sometimes you have to walk a long way to get to your connecting gate.  Just SHUT UP already.  And Dad, you pose as the "protective Dad" but remember something: your daughter is a grown-ass woman, married with a child and you can just sit down about "protecting" her. That ship has sailed.

Next comes Angela, acting as if she has never set foot in Nigeria before and has absolutely no clue about how they eat or shop.  "I'm used to air conditioning and things in cans."  Dear god.  "We'll just order a pizza!"  And all of her blundering and blustering about being an AMERICAN WOMAN and when Michael's family comes to HER APARTMENT they are AMERICAN.  That's some really idiotic shit. And what is it about acting like cooking is some sort of menial task that is beneath her?  The puking and retching was over the top. 

Finally Larissa.  I am convinced that her calling him "Erickee" is at this point producer driven ("hey, it's so cute how you put 'ee' on names! Do it all the time!") He is boring and bland and I'm sure just figures he'll play along to make a little extra cash. And what guy roommate says about his friend, "I'm afraid he'll get his heart broken"?  Larissa mentioned that Erickee "broke her trust" before. What... wait; didn't she say she broke up with him because he was boring and didn't like sex? Like they were just friends? But now that he's pried his wallet open a bit more she's got her eyes on the prize: a free place to stay and a new set of bolt-ons.  She needs to go away.

Get her off the show.  She’s a user uninteresting person.

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2 hours ago, magemaud said:

If Michael's mother was concerned about Angela bringing him to America to "be a slave", after that pizza party there should be no doubt in her mind that's exactly what's in store for him. Angela is grooming him to be a servant who cooks, does laundry, housework and babysits six kids by day and services her bedroom needs by night.

It was Usman's mom who was concerned over that, right?  I am sure it could be a Mother Michael thing as well.  I am so over Anglea the Abuser and her "I AM AMERICAN!" rants every ten minutes.

Both Pole and Karine are slobs who will junk up that place in a day.  Just go to Five Below, WalMart, Menards, or Target and get some inexpensive blinds.  How can you afford two dogs when you are so broke?  Look, I am a dog lover (both as an owner and foster dog mom) but two extra adults, a baby and two large dogs?  Yeah.....go find your own home, Paul.  Our house is NOT that big.

Larissa, WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT HIS PHONE?  I know it is producer driven but she is about to be homeless.....again.

Libby/Andrei:  Oh Lord I felt so bad for Father Andrei and his family.  They lay out a beautiful spread only to have Family Libby crap all over it with their badgering questions that have ZERO place there.  Hey Chcuk:  All those questions?  About his past?  You are about three years (give or take) with those.  Your daughter is MARRIED WITH A BABY.

2 hours ago, ThereButFor said:

Huge numbers of people from Eastern Europe headed to Ireland around that time because they could earn a LOT more than in their home countries.  To me it just doesn't seem like the huge red flag Libby's asshole relatives are trying to make it into.

Yep - many bartenders, servers and bouncers make serious bank.  Lots of young people move away....not a case for Unsolved Mysteries, Chuck.

Asuelo/Kalani:  "I promise to never throw you under the bus again."  Cue to six hours later: "Yeah, I can send some money......if Kalani says it is okay."  Like we did not see that coming, lol!!

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17 minutes ago, Silver Bells said:

Honestly, this entire episode seemed soooo scripted.  First, we have Libby's idiot dad and brother immediately grilling Andrei in the car and rolling their eyes at absolutely everything Moldovan.  I am not a huge Andrei fan but can you blame him for resenting them? The two of them just going on and on and on... "Dude, tell us.  Bro, come on; you didn't just leave your family to go to another place without a reason." Then all of the stupid American questions.  And the endless complaining... yes, sometimes airports are crowded. Yes, sometimes you have to walk a long way to get to your connecting gate.  Just SHUT UP already.  And Dad, you pose as the "protective Dad" but remember something: your daughter is a grown-ass woman, married with a child and you can just sit down about "protecting" her. That ship has sailed.

Chuck's big USA hat was killing me. So embarassing. Is that really necessary when traveling abroad? Wow they actually have cars and airports and parking lots and long hallways in other countries? 

And yeah, they have a freaking kid! Now, three years too late,  Chuck is  gonna jump in and protect his baby girl from the foreigner. 

 

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28 minutes ago, Silver Bells said:

If I was Paul’s wife, I would have him take me to Walmart, buy some disinfectant, curtains, Clorox and clean that place up ASAP

Pauls wife is just as dirty and lazy as Paul. I agree they certainly need curtains, though. 

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The walk on the beach with Colt and Jess was odd but not because of their weight.  If you look closely Colt was holding Jess by the wrist as he walked and her hand was just dangling limp.  Their hands weren't clasped around each other as you would normally hold hands with someone.  Weird. 

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(edited)
36 minutes ago, Boo Boo said:

There's a subtext with the Andrei thing that pisses me off.  If Andrei stays at home with Eleanor, that's fucking work just like if LIbby stayed home with the baby.  Being a SAH parent is hard work and it's pissing me off they are treating him as though he does NOTHING.

I completely agree with you, as I was a SAHM who always worked part time in opposite shifts of my then hubby.  My questions is this:  What does Lib do when she gets home? Errands done? Is the laundry done?  House picked up? Dinner made?  Having one baby who is not fully mobile makes is a tiny bit easier, trust me. (As opposed to two kids a year and a half apast - when they are BOTH mobile your house is......well.....)  And I also think the agreement was he would work FT and enable Lib to stay home, perhaps work part time.  Who knows but to hash is out in front of the in laws was RUDE.

Edited by Mrs. Hanson
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1 hour ago, poeticlicensed said:

I  suspect you are right. Nobody gets to be a detective, without being a patrol officer first, unless they have a very specific skill set and education.  I bet he "detected" those files, hence he was a detective. 

Maybe he replaced batteries in smoke detectors.

40 minutes ago, Silver Bells said:

 Man can’t clean like a woman.

Wut

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Here I go again defending Deb. What is happening to me? 

Anyway, I feel that everything she has said so far about Coltee and Jess' relationship is right on. Why the rush? Why do you have to get married right away? Why talk of kids, you hardly know each other? I don't see anything wrong with these questions. She sees that her son is a big fekkin' moron and she's questioning why he would want to jump right back in to the same mess he was in with Larissa. Only he can't see it. Because again, moron. Jess clearly wants something from Colt. A green card. She's been pushing for it since the beginning of showing us their meet up in Chicago. She is a loud, pushy, overbearing, snotty, spoiled little bitch. Colt better watch it closely with this one because I have a feeling she's going to make him her baby daddy real soon. 

If Colt really wanted to he could move out and get a place of his own just a few miles away and check in on his mom daily with phone calls or a visit or what ever. Deb will get used to it. I think the reason he stays is financial on both of their parts. Also, Deb cooks and cleans for him so he's not going anywhere anytime soon.  

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3 minutes ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

I completely agree with you, as I was a SAHM whh always worked part time in opposite shifts of my then hubby.  My questions is this:  What does Lib do when she gets home?  Is the laundry done?  House picked up? Dinner made?  Having one baby who is not fully mobile makes is a tiny bit easier, trust me.  And I also think the agreement was he would wrk FT and enable Lib to stay home, perhaps work part time.  Who knows but to hash is out in front of the in laws was RUDE.

I'm guessing that its less Libby and more Family Libby who are the ones with the issue of Andrei not working. Unless of course she's bitching about Andrei not doing anything and not working to them, which is probably the case. They all seem really overinvolved in each other's lives. When my oldest got married she learned pretty fast not to shit talk her husband to us, cuz we aren't around when they make up. I think me with my fingers in my ears saying lalala I can't hear you gave her a clue. 

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17 minutes ago, Dirtybubble said:

The walk on the beach with Colt and Jess was odd but not because of their weight.  If you look closely Colt was holding Jess by the wrist as he walked and her hand was just dangling limp.  Their hands weren't clasped around each other as you would normally hold hands with someone.  Weird. 

Considering they love each other or so they say, makes me think that the bedroom activities are not all that if they cannot even manage to hold hands normally.  

 

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On 7/25/2020 at 1:58 AM, DVDFreaker said:

I do not know what Jess sees in Colt but as long they are happy, that is all that matters but Colt telling his mom that Jess is loud at sex is gross

Libby’s family are assholes, Andreli may be immature at times but I am going to feel bad for him when they become in-laws

Do we need to see Angela’s spit? All they do is fight so call off the marriage so Michael can go back to his women and Angela can go back to her family and enjoy the single life or find a new man

I do not care to comment on Larissa, Tania, and  Kalani since their storylines are boring so far 

Kilani needs to put that kid in nursery school.  He needs interaction and exposure to many things.  He’s always crying.  Asulo should forget about going home.  Kid comes first.  I feel for that kid.

14 minutes ago, MrBuhBye said:

Maybe he replaced batteries in smoke detectors.

Wut

Oops .. sorry.  My man anyhow.

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2 minutes ago, Silver Bells said:

Kilani needs to put that kid in nursery school.  He needs interaction and exposure to many things.  He’s always crying.  Asulo should forget about going home.  Kid comes first.  I feel for that kid.

When they get old enough to start digging for the boob, it's time to wean them.

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On 7/23/2020 at 6:38 AM, winsomeone said:

I dislike Colt and Jess, but I do think they make a good couple. Both are obnoxious, and usually two people like that don't mesh, but they really seem to get along well? I also think Jess has Debbie's number, and will win that game.

Ha .. I could just see me telling my mother in law “fuck you”.  Holy smokes.  Under my breath maybe.

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22 minutes ago, bichonblitz said:

Here I go again defending Deb. What is happening to me? 

Anyway, I feel that everything she has said so far about Coltee and Jess' relationship is right on. Why the rush? Why do you have to get married right away? Why talk of kids, you hardly know each other? I don't see anything wrong with these questions. She sees that her son is a big fekkin' moron and she's questioning why he would want to jump right back in to the same mess he was in with Larissa. Only he can't see it. Because again, moron. Jess clearly wants something from Colt. A green card. She's been pushing for it since the beginning of showing us their meet up in Chicago. She is a loud, pushy, overbearing, snotty, spoiled little bitch. Colt better watch it closely with this one because I have a feeling she's going to make him her baby daddy real soon. 

If Colt really wanted to he could move out and get a place of his own just a few miles away and check in on his mom daily with phone calls or a visit or what ever. Deb will get used to it. I think the reason he stays is financial on both of their parts. Also, Deb cooks and cleans for him so he's not going anywhere anytime soon.  

They all seem to get pregnant quickly. To seal the deal.

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