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S15.E06: Auditions 6

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The auditions continue as variety acts of all types and contestants of all ages audition for the chance to win $1 million.

Original airdate: 6/30/20

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  • No audience might make the show better...at least from my seat. Though I assume we'll still get plenty of annoying judge reaction shots.
  • No social distancing backstage, I guess. (Later edit: Okay, maybe it's a little less crowded than usual.)
  • Bring It On: [paraphrasing] "You go out and they judge it and that's the one chance you get"...unless you're a singer.
  • bring it on animation GIF
  • Piano/drummer kid...I like how they thought he was done...did they think that there was a random curtain in the middle of the stage for no reason? They should know better by now.
  • First Comedian was pretty good, especially considering he had no audience to play off of. And I totally get him on the sleep math. And the knee thing. (And his kids are adorable. Okay, dude, stop crying.)
  • Harmonica bros are...ambitious. I like that we've had (so far) two original pieces of music and neither of them had angsty-teen lyrics (or any lyrics).
  • Olympic singer: Another original song? This is becoming a theme this season. She was good but I feel like Simon's praise of her voice was a little over the top.
  • Why did they stop putting the contestants' names on the screen at the start of their act? I can't ever catch their names anymore.
  • Cellist: 9 kids in a three bedroom house 🤯 His facial expressions seem a little dramatic for what he was playing...
  • I need to find a guy who will match his tie to my hair...not sure where the magic was in there, though.
  • Rainbow shorts duo: um. okay.
  • Singer with the blind family: she was good. I don't know about "your future is set" good, but good. I hate it when a contestant gets emotional and they go "tell me what you're feeling!" (especially when it's a kid). And another teenage original...but at least it's not about being bullied.
  • Second Comedian: (Did Eric really need to remind us that Howie is a comedian?) She was pretty funny...as comedians on this show go. I wasn't cackling like the judges, though. 
  • One Wheel Wonder: an American from Britain's Got Talent. That's a twist (well, probably not really, but they don't usually make it so obvious that someone's been on another country's show).
  • Why did Eric leave with only two acts left?
  • Spoken word artist: Something we actually haven't seen on this show before? Dammit he made me cry.
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The best part of tonight's show, for me (I don't really expect anyone here to understand):

The intro music of "Hush" by Deep Purple

!!!!!

The second best part which lasted longer than one of my all-time favorite songs (see above):

No audience!!!

The best act which blew me away:

Golden Buzzer Spoken Word Artist.  Dammit, he made me cry too.  Brought me to tears.  It was worth sitting through all the other acts and TV commercials just for this last act.  Brandon Leake.  It reminded me of if we were modern-day Beatniks listening to a poetry reading in a coffeehouse.  Usually sob story shit makes me roll my eyes, but Brandon's story really grabbed me with the way he told it.  Way to go!

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How is a cheer squad functionally different from a dance crew? Looks the same to me. The 'magicians' had pretty good voices, they should concentrate on being a cabaret act. The cheesy little touches work for that. I thought the guy comedian was better than the girl. Not sure if her humor is going to fly right now either. Air guitar! Rightly buzzed but that's exactly the act this show deserves. We got Olympians with an Olympic level sob story. At least she did have a decent voice. One Wheel Wonder, eh. I feel like he would work better at the Coney Island midway. GB was pretty powerful but is not exactly an act, as such.

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More auditions? Good God. I'd love to audition for a spot in an early grave at the cemetery at this point. The first 2 auditions were posted 4 days ago, so I don't know if anyone else is counting those.

 

Shevon Nieto - Well, the empty venue shows that the audience has finally wised up as to how big of a dungheap this show is. Here comes the sad music - what does this have to do with the act? If I ever got paralyzed, I would hope the only muscles that weren't impaired were the ones required to gobble a thousand Tylenol pills; not even trying to be funny, I'd be outta here. Well she can sing, as expected. Even if her voice were as flat as me wearing a bra, it wouldn't change me frantically hammering the TV's off button like a lab rat hitting the dopamine lever.

Wildcats Cheerleaders - The oldest member being "almost 30" and feeling embarrassed about hanging out with that many cute girls must be unaware of how wealthy he really is; who cares if you're a billionaire if the only women you could nab would be reported as stolen property from the Egyptian museum's mummy exhibit. I would normally say they did a great job, but I had already choreographed a similar celebratory routine for when this show gets cancelled.

Jacob Velazquez - Well, me being jealous of a 12 year old's hair has gotta be the most pathetic thought of the week. Why do kids with developmental disorders seem to have really hot Moms? Kodi Lee's Mom comes to mind (among other body parts). The musical savants always make me want to practice instruments more, though I wonder how much having an obsessive type brain by default factors into it. I was never told what disorder I have, as the doctor simply handed me to my Mother and said "sorry" before walking away. Stupidity aside, it was a good song and also nice to not have any vocals for once.

Michael Yo - It feels like this guy was on a few weeks ago, though savagely punching my head after each episode to make sure I don't remember anything can't help. Since my name is also Michael and I love comedy, where is my hot, supple wife? I'm so oblivious, I had no idea it was a turnoff for my girlfriend to hear me call my Dad in the middle of the night begging for money (and after being denied, asking if I can have a popsicle; that too was shot down). As much as my family is ashamed that I exercise to female aerobics videos in baby blue spandex, at least they will be happy to know that my face was straight to this routine. I don't really know what to say about it, since humor's pretty subjective, especially with few things to say about these acts, I constantly have to resort to the same subjects about myself, even though IRL, I have a pretty wide variety. I support every non-singing act, though.

Brothers Gage - I don't know if saying they look way older than their real age is accurate, since it's hard for me to say I look young anymore. I imagine they'll hit a solid brown note on their harmonicas, since I predict a very shitty act. It's actually not bad per se, but it just sounds like the background noises of a county fair, which is actually considered post-AGT royalty anyways.

Elijah - Being referred to as a mononym makes it sound like he's already gotten an inflated ego before he's done anything. Damn I hate this song; pretty much every song/album by Ariana after she turned her skin into what looks like burned bacon from all that tanning has been irritating. He's either really into his own performance or he's extremely sensitive to light and is having an epileptic episode; I'm sure Forte would have a lot of advice for "setting an atmosphere" with a dimly lit venue, even though in their case it would be to hide the fact that 3 people showed up.

Kenadi Dodds - Any spelling of a name that comes up as a typo is a very dumb idea. One Way Ticket To Tennessee reminds me of when I was obsessed with Hannah Montana and spent several days on a cross country train due to thinking Billy Ray Cyrus would let me live with them; it might have been a cute story, had I not been 24 at the time. Song is alright, but I don't want to pretend I care about analyzing pop culture like I'm on a CNN conference call.

Crystal Powell - A female comedian? Knowing this show's track record for that, I'll set my face to cryogenically frozen in advance. The way she's talking, this sounds like a spoken build up before the song starts playing in a music video so you know what's going on, even though the noise from a whoopee cushion would suffice. Never thought I'd beg for Vicki Barbolak to come back......

Wesley Williams - I can't say I've ever known a man named Wesley who didn't have some sort of developmental disorder. Simon's confidence in saying his Grandma will be watching seems like more of a hint about his demonic knowledge of the underworld rather than a social courtesy. Gotta say that was actually pretty entertaining; provided he doesn't randomly switch to singing, I look forward to his next act. The unicycle might be worth learning, although having had my training wheels on my bike for over 20 years, I don't foresee it happening.

Brandon Leake - I skipped over a lot of his video, so I have no idea how much pity was asked for. If you have a decent voice, does that mean you can get away with minimal rhyming? I know he's doing poetry and not outright rapping, but I don't really get the clear cut "talent". His name sounds like an edgy kid making a joke about Bruce Lee's son's death, which I guess is more of an observation than a joke, since I don't find what happened funny.

Anyways, the show was painful to sit through, painful to talk about, painful to think about, though the recipient of the pain is my alcohol soaked pancreas, rather than myself.

Edited by InternetToughGuy · Reason: Italicized "straight" since I didn't know how obvious the setup was
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How is a cheer squad functionally different from a dance crew? Looks the same to me.

I may know this one!  The easy version is that a cheer squad, especially one not affiliated with a school, is like a dance crew that focuses on traditional cheering things (clapping, lifting and tossing, tumbling) and outfits, and also usually has a vocal component of cheering in unsion. 

Dance teams have a broader range of options for moves, and usually have less clapping and rarely have a vocal component.  Some dance teams have tumbling; nearly all cheer teams do.  That said, there's a lot of crossover between what they do (they're both very athletic, and some of the dance parts of cheering look a lot like a dance team), and people move from one to the other (so there's some competition for talent.)

If someone's actually involved in either, good luck, and feel free to correct me.

 

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8 hours ago, CrystalBlue said:

Golden Buzzer Spoken Word Artist.  Dammit, he made me cry too.  Brought me to tears.  It was worth sitting through all the other acts and TV commercials just for this last act.  Brandon Leake.  It reminded me of if we were modern-day Beatniks listening to a poetry reading in a coffeehouse.  Usually sob story shit makes me roll my eyes, but Brandon's story really grabbed me with the way he told it.  Way to go!

When they asked if his sister was there and he said "kinda" and they didn't ask him to elaborate, my first thought was "how can you leave that hanging there?" then I realized, oh, this is going to be about his sister dying, isn't it? At least I had a few seconds to brace myself.

7 hours ago, Vermicious Knid said:

I thought the guy comedian was better than the girl. Not sure if her humor is going to fly right now either. 

I had the same thought. 

6 hours ago, InternetToughGuy said:

Well, me being jealous of a 12 year old's hair has gotta be the most pathetic thought of the week.

If it makes you feel any better, I almost made a comment about wanting his hair.

6 hours ago, InternetToughGuy said:

Kenadi Dodds - Any spelling of a name that comes up as a typo is a very dumb idea.

That's how she spells it? I read it as "Ken-AH-dee" and thought, "who the hell was that?" That said, I always have to teach spell-checkers my name, so... (but then again my name is not a "creative" spelling of a common name).

6 hours ago, InternetToughGuy said:

Never thought I'd beg for Vicki Barbolak to come back......

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

 

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Wow, no audience is the best improvement this show has ever had. Keep it that way show. Real auditions are not done before huge 6,000-people audiences anyway. I really REALLY liked this improvement. Although now I feel badly for those two old matching-clothes ladies not getting any air time (or paycheck) this week.

Ha ha. No I don't. Keep the no audience forever show. Not that you'll listen to me.

The little boy has never watched this show because he wants to put a spotlight on people with disabilities to prove they can do things too. This is the 15th season and the sixth audition session this year and you haven't noticed that's the them of 99 percent of all the acts? Gah. Get with the program, kid.

"What's your talent little boy?"
Boy: "I'm playing the piano."
Simon: "What are you going to sing for us?"
Me: "Duh Simon. Read your note card."

I thought the kid was good on the piano and a good drummer. He could make it in a rock band somewhere with all that drum-stick twirling.

I didn't think the Singing "Magicians" deserved Xs. Just let them finish their act and then tell them no.

Simon to little girl singer: "What's the name of your song?"
Girl: "One Way Ticket to Tennessee."
Simon: "What's it about?"
Me: "A one-way ticket to Tennessee, dumbass. Geesh"

I would rather have seen the entire act of that cartoon magician guy than another singer. Sigh. That was not to be.

Comedy lady ... sorry, but your set was too long and boring, plus I kept staring at your boobs. I mean, THERE THEY WERE. I couldn't help it. I was waiting for them to fall out when you got down on the floor. Plus I was surprised the show let her set get aired, except she's Black so I guess making fun of Black vs. white was okay.

Eric had to leave with just a couple acts left to go? What? He gets paid by the hour and the show's budget tapped out just then? So weird ... Well, 'bye then.

I HATED the unicycle guy, hated him. Plus what was up with Simon finally admitting for the first time ever that he knew an act? I would have given this guy four Xs all by myself if I had been at the judge table.

The poetry slam guy rocked it. ROCKED IT. He was my GB, then Howie made him his GB. His act would have been perfect if Simon hadn't asked about his sister (he never asks other adult acts about siblings) so as to screw the guy's lead in. Simon is such a dickwad. Anyway, I do love me some slam, and this guy was top notch. Well done guy. Good way to end the show.

Looking forward to more no audience next week. Will Sofia bring another Modern Family friend to guest judge? Tune in next Tuesday night and find out!

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11 hours ago, Vermicious Knid said:

How is a cheer squad functionally different from a dance crew? Looks the same to me. 

 

4 hours ago, marketdoctor said:

I may know this one!  The easy version is that a cheer squad, especially one not affiliated with a school, is like a dance crew that focuses on traditional cheering things (clapping, lifting and tossing, tumbling) and outfits, and also usually has a vocal component of cheering in unsion. 

Dance teams have a broader range of options for moves, and usually have less clapping and rarely have a vocal component.  Some dance teams have tumbling; nearly all cheer teams do.  That said, there's a lot of crossover between what they do (they're both very athletic, and some of the dance parts of cheering look a lot like a dance team), and people move from one to the other (so there's some competition for talent.)

If someone's actually involved in either, good luck, and feel free to correct me.

 

The Wildcats are very well known in the cheer world.  That is an "open" team which means they don't have age restrictions.  There is a major difference between cheerleaders and a dance crew.  The stunting alone makes it tremendously harder.  That routine was amazing.  Not one little bobble.  No stunt falls.  It was amazing.

To clarify.  This is an "All Star" gym which means they do not actually "cheer" for anyone.  There is no cheering in unison for these teams.  It's all very athletic and danc-y.  They practice all year long (it's actually an 11 month season) and perform the same routine (with maybe slight modifications- sometimes major ones but that's not usual) about 15 times or so per year (more or less depending on how many competitions they are registered for).  They also ALL have tumbling. It's a requirement.  The entire routine is 2.5 minutes long and they all have the same components, although not necessarily in the same order.  The components are stunts, jumps, tumbling, pyramid & dance.  My daughter was a cheerleader for 8 years, 5 of which was for an all-star gym. 

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4 hours ago, ams1001 said:

That's how she spells it? I read it as "Ken-AH-dee" and thought, "who the hell was that?" That said, I always have to teach spell-checkers my name, so... (but then again my name is not a "creative" spelling of a common name).

Yeah, I got it from the videos on AGT's YouTube channel. Then again, Kennedy isn't the greatest name for a girl, unless they're taking the "my daughter could be President" thing too far. If that was the parents intention, you'd think they'd choose a President's name who didn't have such a tragic end.

Well, depending on how dyslexic your parents are, "AMS1001" could be anything 😄

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1 hour ago, saber5055 said:

Looking forward to more no audience next week. Will Sofia bring another Modern Family friend to guest judge? Tune in next Tuesday night and find out!

TV Guide has a rerun of the season premiere listed for next week.... Wikipedia now shows Auditions 7 on July 14, and Best Of Auditions on the 21st.

 

41 minutes ago, InternetToughGuy said:

Yeah, I got it from the videos on AGT's YouTube channel. Then again, Kennedy isn't the greatest name for a girl, unless they're taking the "my daughter could be President" thing too far. If that was the parents intention, you'd think they'd choose a President's name who didn't have such a tragic end.

Well, depending on how dyslexic your parents are, "AMS1001" could be anything 😄

I might be dating myself but I just thought of the MTV VJ.

ams1001 is my initials and my birthday. My actual first name means "alone" in German but to make it extra fun, it's not pronounced that way. 😁

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34 minutes ago, ams1001 said:

TV Guide has a rerun of the season premiere listed for next week.... Wikipedia now shows Auditions 7 on July 14, and Best Of Auditions on the 21st.

Oh, ugh. Thanks -- not -- for the depressing news.

35 minutes ago, ams1001 said:

I might be dating myself

Hey, if ya gotta go out with someone, that's one of the better choices.

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36 minutes ago, saber5055 said:

Hey, if ya gotta go out with someone, that's one of the better choices.

Yeah, well, it's kinda my only option these days, isn't it? 

(And by "out," of course, you mean to my living room.)

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Tons of mediocre "talent" on tonight.  I used the FF forward function (my version of the big red x) to get through these acts - starting with the woman comedian. I was bored with the unicycle guy.  So I red "Xed" him.  

The song the Olympian did wasn't very good.  I wouldn't go as far as terrible, but really not worthy of performing for money.  I didn't notice if her voice was any good.  I was too distracted by the bad song. 

The kid who played the piano and the drums didn't seem to be at any exceptional level of playing.  I didn't enjoy the drumming at all.  To me, it didn't seem to mesh with the song he was drumming to.  

The girl with all the blindness in her family wasn't a very good singer.  

The kid with the cello didn't seem that advanced.  I wouldn't call him a prodigy.  My Favorite Things is kind of a rudimentary song it seems like. 

I don't think the song "Til There Was You" is a cheesy song.  The Music Man is one of my favorite musicals.  My first exposure to the song came from The Beatles.  I always loved it.  It's too bad that couple didn't know how to do any magic. 

I kind of believe that some of the buzzed acts are just fillers.  They probably crew members who are brought out to do an act - badly.  LIke the air guitar guy.  Maybe they bring these guys out while they are setting up for the next act. 

Interesting hearing about this virus that's going around.  It kind of gives a timestamp on when the auditions started.  

This episode did not have any potential winners in it.  It even started out with some cheerleader squad.  I didn't listen to their package, but by looking at them, I don't believe they were runner ups in any state competition or any competition.  

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36 minutes ago, Commando Cody said:

Interesting hearing about this virus that's going around.  It kind of gives a timestamp on when the auditions started.  

The auditions started filming about two and a half weeks before California locked down.

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Oh!  The cartoon magician was really interesting, but I understand why he got buzzed. SYTYCD, which will sadly not have an edition this year, has an audience of only other contestants and the occasional parent/guardian. I'd rather AGT does that instead of packing in the Live! Studio! Audience! if they absolutely must have one.

I once went, many years ago, to a spoken work slam in the unheated basement of some Arts building in the Village (this was in February), and it was like every bad stereotype of Beatnik/poetry rolled into one. Pre-smartphone so no recording but it absolutely would have been uploaded for the lulz if it was recent.

 

Quote

but to make it extra fun, it's not pronounced that way. 😁

"It's spelled Raymond Luxury Yacht but pronounced Throat Wobbler Mangrove!" [also dating myself there]

 

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9 hours ago, saber5055 said:

Wow, no audience is the best improvement this show has ever had. Keep it that way show. Real auditions are not done before huge 6,000-people audiences anyway. I really REALLY liked this improvement.

I agree 100%. It was a breath of fresh air not having the audience give a standing ovation every time someone says their name and age. Oh and also not having to see their stupid faces.

Man, this episode was full of sappy sob stories.

Wow, that comedian guy started crying just because he got through to the next round, calm down you didn't win the million dollars and if you don't win you better try to get your job back interviewing celebrities.   

A lot of singers this show.

The unicyclist was boring and I bet he doesn't have a unicycle taller then the one he rode for this audition so what's he going to do in next round?

 I wonder if Howie would've hit the golden buzzer for the spoken word guy if his story/rhyming wasn't about losing his sister. I agree it was more of a beatnik vibe then actual poetry. Not really my thing but if he had that awesome sand lady that was on Champions (I think) in the background creating a story out of sand to go along with his story I might actually like it a little.

I still haven't seen an act that belongs in Vegas.

I'm surprised germaphobe Howie sat that close to the other judges or even showed up during this time with it being the start of the outbreak.

I hope they don't do the live shows like The Voice did because that sucked!

 

 

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Kind of surprised that Michael Yo, who's been in the industry for over a decade (I remember him being a recurring panelist on Chelsea Lately in the mid-2000s) feels that he has to go this route to get his comedy out there. After years of being in this business, he doesn't have any other connections to give him that bump? Pretty weird, imo.

As for the female comedian, her national anthem bit was far from original--Maya Rudolph already did it (much better) back in 2006:

This woman must have workshopped this bit at stand up sets, etc....nobody told her it had already been done?

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8 minutes ago, helenamonster said:

Kind of surprised that Michael Yo, who's been in the industry for over a decade (I remember him being a recurring panelist on Chelsea Lately in the mid-2000s) feels that he has to go this route to get his comedy out there. After years of being in this business, he doesn't have any other connections to give him that bump? Pretty weird, imo.

As for the female comedian, her national anthem bit was far from original--Maya Rudolph already did it (much better) back in 2006:

This woman must have workshopped this bit at stand up sets, etc....nobody told her it had already been done?

Maybe that's Michael Yo's sob story:  Despite being in the industry, he doesn't have any solid connections and can't catch a break.  Except for from Simon, of course.  😉

Please, don't remind me of the comedienne's rendition of the National Anthem.  I'm still trying to bleach from my brain that involuntary pelvic thrust directed at Simon!

Edited by CrystalBlue
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4 minutes ago, CrystalBlue said:

Maybe that's Michael Yo's sob story:  Despite being in the industry, he doesn't have any solid connections and can't catch a break.  Except for from Simon, of course.  😉

 

Honestly, that's sus to me! His comedy is whatever (I rarely laugh at comedians on this show) but the fact that he hasn't managed to make strategic connections and catch a break elsewhere doesn't speak highly of him, imo.

On the other hand, this could speak to the "fixed" nature of AGT. Even after 15 years, it's still presented as a place where any Joe Schmoe off the street can get an opportunity to change their life. But as we all know here, people on this show are usually already successful in their field, have performed on other Got Talents, have a large internet following, etc. They are likely scouted via professional networks, i.e. through their agents and managers, which Michael Yo definitely has.

So either Michael Yo has a bad reputation within the industry, or this show is not for amateurs. They're not mutually exclusive, but I'm inclined to believe the latter.

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2 minutes ago, helenamonster said:

Honestly, that's sus to me! His comedy is whatever (I rarely laugh at comedians on this show) but the fact that he hasn't managed to make strategic connections and catch a break elsewhere doesn't speak highly of him, imo.

On the other hand, this could speak to the "fixed" nature of AGT. Even after 15 years, it's still presented as a place where any Joe Schmoe off the street can get an opportunity to change their life. But as we all know here, people on this show are usually already successful in their field, have performed on other Got Talents, have a large internet following, etc. They are likely scouted via professional networks, i.e. through their agents and managers, which Michael Yo definitely has.

So either Michael Yo has a bad reputation within the industry, or this show is not for amateurs. They're not mutually exclusive, but I'm inclined to believe the latter.

Yes, it's most likely through the machinations of Simon that he got on with his sob story.  I should have wrote "sob" story.  Most likely it's all a set up because we know he's not going to be the winner.

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My guess is Yo was scouted and hired by AGT to appear, or got hired for the show via his agent. He has a "sob" story to get viewers on his side and create sympathy for him, doesn't mean it's true. This show does not count on the American public actually knowing any of these people or doing any research into the fact they have successful careers already. This is all about the (facade) of AGT discovering talent and MAKING THEM A STAR! (I should TM that last part.)

That's why it's fun to read here, to discover the "real" stories. AGT is another reality show that is pretty much everything but real. Still, it's a fun way to spend some time.

Edited by saber5055
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Pretty dull episode. It was interesting that the judges sat so close together, that there wasn’t much in the was of distancing, and obviously this was before the experts said you should wear masks, no you shouldn’t, yes you should... what is it this week?

Anyway, the cheer squad. After watching that Cheer show on Netflix I have a respect for what athletes they are. On the other hand, watching this group I could say they were very good, but much like the huge dance troupes that aren’t terribly different than 20 other dance school groups, I don’t know that this cheer group was any better than another 10 good cheer groups that compete against each other every year. Neither belong in AGT.

Piano/drum kid was OK, not great. The drum playing was hard to hear, the background music was awful, and it had no connection to the piano at all. And when he recited the DSM diagnosis he was so attached to, Im guessing the “NOS” (Not Otherwise Specified) was not remotely necessary.

Actually, I felt like the cello kid was on the spectrum too, the way he was acting. He wasn’t all that good.

I liked the country girl singer, felt bad for her family and her likely Survivor Guilt, but I was hoping she would be better.

The comedians.. sorry, not all that funny. Michael was OK, but almost too polished. Liked him even less when I realized he was on that show with that horrible Chelsea Handler. The female was marginally better, but her material wasn’t original and weakly executed. I agree with others, with all the race stuff going on nowadays, people have lost the ability to laugh at that sort of humor. People are just joyless now. I felt bad for the comedians as the empty building seemed to hurt them the most.

The unicycle kid was boring. Did someone say this was the first time Simon said he knew an act from Britain’s Got Talent? He’s done it several times, most notably with the brother /sister roller skate act.

I actually loved the Olympic girl. I hate sob stories but that one hurt. She was a good enough singer and I think her and her story would have brought the house down. I thought she or the blind family girl singer would win the GB.

And the GB? That one wasn’t hard to predict, particularly with Simon’s lawsuit. It was kinda boring... I can’t get into that beatnik/slam routine.  Not interesting. I guess the GB fits so he doesn’t have to come up with a new routine as quickly.

Oh the harmonica guys were bad. But not as awful as the magicians... wow, they sucked.

Pretty bad show overall. Wonder what kind of blowback Terry Crew was getting for his BLM Tweet?

Edited by SG11
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15 hours ago, SG11 said:

And the GB? That one wasn’t hard to predict, particularly with Simon’s lawsuit. It was kinda boring... I can’t get into that beatnik/slam routine.  Not interesting. I guess the GB fits so he doesn’t have to come up with a new routine as quickly.

Has every GB this year gone to a POC? (including the mixed race San Diego choir). 

They kept saying that they've never had a spoken word artist on, but isn't that what rap is? It's certainly all about the words, and not the non-existent "music." My prediction is that his next piece will be about his baby daughter, and the kinder gentler Simon will gush all over. The "niceness" factor on the show this year is bordering on the nauseating, from all the judges, including Sofia. Several times this year contestants have been told "we love you" even before they start their act.

When Simon said "the kids are taking over this year," I thought, yup, and that's my worst nightmare. According to the super nice judges, every kid is a "star," and an "amazing talent." The truth is, including this week's crop, most of them wouldn't even win a high school talent contest. The best this week (not saying much) was the 15 year country singer from Utah. She had a decent voice, but I wish she'd sung a cover, because the trend now is that kid singers perform original songs, and most are pretty bad. Every original song is the same, about how no one's going to stop me from achieving my dream of being a star. Well, most teens are self-absorbed I guess, but it's not very interesting to listen to.

The woman comic did yet another variation on the "whites do it this way, blacks do it this way" routine that we've all seen so many times. (Anyone else remember Homer Simpson watching a comedy jam show and saying, "it's true, we're so lame.") She tried to soften it about by identifying her friends by names and not saying "white" and "black," but it's still the same bit.  And apparently her National Anthem routine isn't even original. 

I agree with other posters that it was refreshing not to have the over-the-top screaming and applause for every act. I think it's a bit rough for the comedians, but I thought that judges were trying to make up for that laughing extra hard.

Lots of sob stories as usual, though I have to say, a former Olympic athlete being paralyzed and confined to a wheelchair really is very sad. His wife seemed like a super lady and I wish them well. The unicyclist telling us about his grandmother dying of cancer was completely gratuitous.

The harmonica bros were just okay. I know Topanga, where they're from, and for the most part it's very affluent. I get a vibe from a lot of the kid performers on this show that they come from privileged backgrounds. I got that sense about the other kid performers this week, except for the country singer. 

On 7/1/2020 at 1:34 PM, Commando Cody said:

I don't think the song "Til There Was You" is a cheesy song.  The Music Man is one of my favorite musicals.  My first exposure to the song came from The Beatles.  I always loved it.  It's too bad that couple didn't know how to do any magic. .  

Simon is an idiot. Their version was a bit loungey, but that's a beautiful song. Considering that Simon made his fortune on boy bands singing "songs" that are three notes and a rhythm track I hardly think he's in a position to comment. 

 

Edited by bluepiano
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@bluepiano's opening question:

Answer:  Almost

Brandon Leake (Howie's GB)

W.A.F.F.L.E. Crew (King Simon's GB)

Cristina Rae (Heidi's GB)

Roberta Battaglia (Sofia's GB)

Voices Of Our City (Terry's GB)

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I was bored to tears with this episode, although my sister took great offense at the female comedian calling the white woman in her story as Becky. I’m told it is a racial slur for white women. Is it? I don’t know. I tried googling and am still confused. I’ll stick with groovy and far out. At least I know what they mean.

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On 7/1/2020 at 4:34 PM, Commando Cody said:

I kind of believe that some of the buzzed acts are just fillers.  They probably crew members who are brought out to do an act - badly. 

It's been a while since I read it, so I can't cite it, but you are exactly right.  Staff and crew personnel are used as fillers to make the show fill the time slot.

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4 hours ago, Happy Belly said:

I was bored to tears with this episode, although my sister took great offense at the female comedian calling the white woman in her story as Becky. I’m told it is a racial slur for white women. Is it? I don’t know. I tried googling and am still confused. I’ll stick with groovy and far out. At least I know what they mean.

People of every stripe have a so-called derogatory nickname attached to them for people who want to stereotype.  I don't find it offensive, just ludicrous and laughable (at them, not with them).  Although, in the Vietnam war, Charlie was not a laughable name.

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15 hours ago, Happy Belly said:

I was bored to tears with this episode

Same here.  I'm seriously beginning to wonder why I'm spending my time watching this show.  Just out of curiosity, has ANY sob story ever been told no?

Acts I see doing a show in Vegas-none of them.  I can't think of a single stand-out performance for me tonight.

Cheerleaders-pretty impressive, but like most of the acts by the end of the show I had already forgotten about them, so...

Michael Yo-ok, he made me laugh

Olympic singer-didn't impress me, nor did the girl with the Tennessee song

Harmonica kids-ok, that was kind of entertaining, but I don't think I would want to watch an hour of it

I thought the kid pianist was good, but I wish they hadn't told his backstory at this point, because I feel like it somehow cheapens the judges' votes. YMMV

Sorry, but the kid cellist was boring

The magicians were puke-worthy cutesy and not good to boot

The comedienne towards the end was kind of funny, but I just kept wanting someone to tell her to pull her top together.

Unicycle guy-where does he go from here? I mean, what can he do to up his act?

Didn't like the GB act, sorry <shrug>

 

Edited by marykat71702 · Reason: Added something
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Skynyrd!  Thanks to fewer audience reaction edits, we got to hear more of the song in that novelty act.  Turn it up.

The comedienne's material worked really well because it spoke to larger truths about ourselves while creating characters we know.  She was totally committed to the act, as well.  If she can repeat this formula, she has a nice career ahead of her.

I loathed, yet appreciated, the directness of the lad who made dang sure we knew precisely the nature of his disability.  If nothing else, he knows how to take orders.  I liked the combination of playing piano and drums.  He was not worthy of advancement in either discipline, but he absolutely deserves credit for his effort.

We had another innovative concept with the singing magicians.  The execution was woefully lacking, though.  I wanted to smack Simon when he dismissed "Till There was You" as ultimately corny.  If it was good enough for The Beatles to cover, it's good enough for your trifle of a show, Cowell.  It really is a shame that he has so little appreciation of the Great American Songbook and Broadway.

A new low for GB.  Goodness.  Spoken word is worth a million dollars (Howie's go-to reason when he criticizes)?  

While it would have been nice to have the roar of the audience as , say, the comedienne was crushing it, overall I really liked absence of the manipulative energy one so frequently provides mediocre talent (like the tumblers in this ep).  It also makes it tougher on the jidges to fellate the chosen ones.  

 

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I missed the cheer squad the first time around, but caught them on the rerun last night. I very much enjoyed them, slo-mo and all, which is always irksome. As I look around this room, I've come to the conclusion that I am the only one who enjoys this show and doesn't mind that acts and judges are from around the world. Once they land in the United States, America does indeed Got that Talent. At least for the few weeks while the shows tape/air.

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20 hours ago, saber5055 said:

I missed the cheer squad the first time around, but caught them on the rerun last night. I very much enjoyed them, slo-mo and all, which is always irksome. As I look around this room, I've come to the conclusion that I am the only one who enjoys this show and doesn't mind that acts and judges are from around the world. Once they land in the United States, America does indeed Got that Talent. At least for the few weeks while the shows tape/air.

If you unexpectedly enjoyed them, check out S1 of the Netflix series “Cheer.” It’s only 6 episodes, I think. It’s the last thing I thought I’d like, but started watching it as background for working out. You really see how these kids are not cheerleaders, they are college athletes with the same drive, competition and training as any other college athletes. I loved it.

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I guess tonight's episode is a highlight one (if the correct definition were adhered to, it'd be 2 hours of a black screen). As much as I hate the show, I feel defeated without being able to complain about it.

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7 minutes ago, InternetToughGuy said:

I guess tonight's episode is a highlight one (if the correct definition were adhered to, it'd be 2 hours of a black screen). As much as I hate the show, I feel defeated without being able to complain about it.

I missed this lowlight compilation.  As a way to segue myself into golden slumbers after a rip-roaring binge watch of some Netflix gangster shows, I enjoyed an AGT & BGT Best Dog Tricks Show compilation on YouTube.  The dogs beat most of the lame-ass acts that are hyped up as being stars, paws down.

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Last night was a rerun of the first auditions. I had it on as background for a while before flipping channels. But audition 1 seems so long ago, I had already forgotten the very first act of the season, the performing pigs, then the second act was BAD Salsa, which was better the second time around. After that ... I left so don't know. But it was strange to see the audience back, all 6 zillion of them, cheering and clapping and giving standing Os in unison. Like a Stepford Audience! I do not miss them at all.

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On 7/4/2020 at 11:10 AM, Happy Belly said:

I was bored to tears with this episode, although my sister took great offense at the female comedian calling the white woman in her story as Becky. I’m told it is a racial slur for white women. Is it? I don’t know. I tried googling and am still confused. I’ll stick with groovy and far out. At least I know what they mean.

Urban Dictionary's first definition is "stereotypical basic white girl"; I would guess it originates from the opening of the Baby Got Back video ("Oh, my god, Becky, look at her butt") but I could be wrong about that. 

(Side note - the audition highlights show is this week (7/21).)

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20 hours ago, ams1001 said:

Urban Dictionary's first definition is "stereotypical basic white girl"; I would guess it originates from the opening of the Baby Got Back video ("Oh, my god, Becky, look at her butt") but I could be wrong about that. 

(Side note - the audition highlights show is this week (7/21).)

Not to be confused with Becky With The Good Hair.  😉

I'll have to entertain myself for two hours with something else then.  No need to repeat the lowlights with a special edition of boredom.

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On 7/20/2020 at 1:04 PM, CrystalBlue said:

I'll have to entertain myself for two hours with something else then.  No need to repeat the lowlights with a special edition of boredom.

I might actually clean something in my house. I had to move cubicles today and I'm feeling motivated to get rid of stuff. (No guarantee that will last until I get home, of course. Just walking out into the heat might kill it. 91 feels like 96 right now...🥵)

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