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S02.E03: Marriage Encounter

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Yeah, that was jarring, to watch the husbands brainstorming how to blindside their wives with a divorce that was pretty much set in stone already, while the "ladies who lunch" wives were deluding themselves with beliefs that their husbands would always want to work things out regardless.

Dan was not slick, telling Betty he was hiring the receptionist as his assistant. Did he really expect Betty not to be suspicious or was he deliberately trying to provoke her?

OTOH, I think Betty got pretty full of herself, swanning around in her couture clothes and acting like she was untoucheable. She only saw what she wanted to see and Dan played her like a piano at that marriage encounter thing. He was a savant at manipulation.

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On 6/10/2020 at 4:40 PM, mamadrama said:

I think this is a good point and this may explain the discrepancy in views on this board. Betty and Dan were middle-aged by the mid-late 80s. They came of age in a time that really did put a focus on the woman staying home. The majority of the women/wives I knew in the 80s had lifetime career aspirations. They owned businesses, were realtors, worked in factories, taught, were doctors, etc. I only knew a handful of SAHMs. However, the adult women in MY orbit were much younger than Betty. So I think it's a little more nuanced than "women in the 80s...". It definitely depended on the age, generation, location, and religion. 

This is a really good point.  I was born in 1965, came of age in the 70's and no one I knew had a mom with career.  The only one I knew of was later, my first hubby's mom was a teacher her entire life - no gap to stay home with the kids.  

I am still incredulous that Betty thought that $30,000 a month (in 1989 dollars) was not enough.  It is a slap in the face to all these women who get NO support from their ex's.  I had a friend who was married to a dentist - she worked for him, knew the books and everything. (He grossed over $250,000 a year) Their divorce took YEARS, he stopped working to avoid paying her, all the slimy stuff.  His intent was to destroy her.  She never drove a car through his house, she led her life with her head held high adn since moved to a smaller town.  Good for her.

Dan is a douche, no argument there, but Betty was self enititled, smug, and selfish.

I am divorced and remarried and I always say, and no I did not invent this:  The opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference.  I do not care one bit what my ex does....I don't care.  I did a little jig when our youngest graduated high school and turned 18 a week later - no need to talk EVER AGAIN unless absolutely necessary.  Which for me was never.

On 6/12/2020 at 8:03 AM, cardigirl said:

today you can avail yourself of a lot of resources, and counseling and therapy do not carry the stigma they used to.

Exactly this - it was 1987-89, not 1929!

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