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S12.E08: If You Can't Take the Heat, Get Out of the Russian Bath House


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(edited)

Wow! Dorinda is a mess, mean, nasty, now crying. Those other ladies look like they’re thinking ‘get me the F outta here’! 
Oh boy, another trip from hell next week. 

Edited by Straycat80
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(edited)

For the record I would never ever snoop in anyone’s bedside table drawers. She stated she was going to do so and Ramona didn’t stop her. She was looking for condoms. Then Ramona regales about that time she used 3 in one night with a guy she was dating. So why does she not have one now. I’m beginning to think she’s a lot of talk and no action. 

Edited by Mindthinkr
Fixed a word.
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3 minutes ago, Mindthinkr said:

For the record I would never ever snoop in anyone’s bedside table drawers. She stated she was going to do so and Ramona didn’t stop her. She was looking for condoms. Then Ramona regales about that time she used 3 in one night with a guy she was dating. So why does she not have one now. I’m beginning to think she’s a lot of talk at no action. 

I was wondering why Ramona would need condoms at all, I mean, it's not like she needs to worry about getting pregnant. 

And then, I realized that she's probably with guys who are sleeping around all the time, and she should be protecting herself against STD's, so it makes sense.  

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(edited)
4 minutes ago, njbchlover said:

I was wondering why Ramona would need condoms at all, I mean, it's not like she needs to worry about getting pregnant. 

And then, I realized that she's probably with guys who are sleeping around all the time, and she should be protecting herself against STD's, so it makes sense.  

Well not to get all lecturer about it, but her age group-50 and up have had explosive increases in STD's, and especially Hep C and other nasty little diseases. So she is doing something smart.

Edited by Chicklet
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2 minutes ago, snarts said:

Sad to hear that Leah is now defending her behavior. 

I can't believe that Leah and Dorinda now have this deep bond because they're "both moms". Leah, everyone in the WORLD has a Mom!  You can find someone else!

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Dorinda sounded so old when she was riding to the Turkish Bath and saying how seldom she goes below Canal Street.  She’s really sort of taking Ramona’s place as the Upper East Side snob who doth protest too much.  And where does Luann rent in the city again?  On the corner of First and First, the nexus of the universe?

I appreciate the fact that Leah doesn’t have that rough, unrefined New York accent that Sonja and Ramona have, but it is hard for me to understand her.  I think she’s trying to enunciate, which is more than I can say for nine tenths of these women, but she seems lo have a case of lockjaw or something.  I had no idea what she was saying about the pita guy, and whether he was real, except that she took a nude photo with a pita covering her privates, which sounded like a recipe for a yeast infection.  I think she’s trying too hard, and it’s irresponsible to send nude pics to guys with her face showing.  

Ramona’s apartment is a lot nicer than Leah’s and Dorinda’s.  By a long shot.  I just couldn’t stand that one of the cornerS of her living room was rounded and not perpendicular.  That bothers me about real estate to no end.  I could never spend any time in Luann’s round house, needless to say.

Sonja is so funny to come to Ramona’s home and insult her weight after Ramona insulted Sonja’s weight at the spa.  Can’t they just agree they both gained weight and they’re not as young as they once were and move on?  Sonja is certainly not “fat” by any means, but she put on a noticeable amount of weight since last season.  I would have liked to hear that conversation between Sonja and Ramona play out rather than hearing about it secondhand, because I have a feeling Sonja may have asked how she can improve her looks, and if you ask, you run the risk that people are going to respond honestly.  

I also thought it was funny that Dorinda played “schadenfreude” on her phone, like it was this brand new foreign word that she discovered and it’s not in everyday American parlance.  I’m not sure I agree with Dorinda that Ramona has schadenfreude though.  I think Ramona brought up Dorinda’s behavior at the spa with good intentions, and Dorinda went low first and Ramona retaliated with Cartagena.  

That cocktail party at the end was sad and embarrassing.  One good thing I have to say about it is that it looked like women of similar ages were socializing, which seemed a lot more normal to me than women in their thirties, forties, fifties and sixties just hanging around and shooting the breeze.  On the other hand, there is something very unnerving and frozen about Elyse and looking at her makes me uncomfortable.  The three drunken biddies (Sonja, Ramona and Dorinda) running into the corridor (you can tell a lot about a building by its corridors, holla at Luann) and yelling and crying and hugging was just appalling and not fun.  

This episode was better than last week, but these women continue to be remarkably tone-deaf and embarrassing.  I’d really like to see less drinking, so they could argue smarter. Looks like I’m not going to get my way anytime soon.  At least this episode gave us some breathing room between the boiling to the surface tension between Dorinda and Tinsley.  I wasn’t sure how much more of that I could take.  At least this week Dorinda picked on someone her own size in Ramona.  I didn’t come away feeling like anyone had been battered this episode.  That is the best thing I can say!  😄

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2 minutes ago, snarts said:

Dorinda is bitter, resentful & rage-filled. She's downright nasty to everyone, yet demands nothing but support & understanding. Instead of a "life coach", she should be seeing a psychiatrist.

Exactly right.

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So Dorinda is like that drunk and she's like that sober. Maaaybe she should see an actual medical professional, not some guy who has to put scare quotes around "life coach" and markets himself by his first name. 

I very much dislike that Tinsley had to be the bigger person at the bathhouse lunch and Dorinda once again got to slide on her shitty behaviour but I also think that Tinsley doesn't have it in her to stand strong and calm and not get bowled over by Hurricane Dorinda which is frustrating as the viewer rooting for the underdog. 

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And once again as the others are crying and hugging here is Sonja stuffing her mouth. When she snapped her purse shut I wondered if she had stuffed a few hors d'oeuvres in there.

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2 minutes ago, LibertarianSlut said:

 

That cocktail party at the end was sad and embarrassing.  One good thing I have to say about it is that it looked like women of similar ages were socializing, which seemed a lot more normal to me than women in their thirties, forties, fifties and sixties just hanging around and shooting the breeze.  On the other hand, there is something very unnerving and frozen about Elyse and looking at her makes me uncomfortable.  The three drunken

So women should only socialize with women of similar ages? I have friends of all ages and I find you can learn a lot from older and younger women,

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1 minute ago, Callaphera said:

during the three-way hug,
Dorinda: "We can be alone together!"
Ramona: "I have two bedrooms!"
Sonja: "That's good sushi."

Lol!!! Amazing. Also loved Sonja’s shrug when she and Do and Ro all came back inside after the scuffle. 

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But Dorinda was absolutely right about Ramona dishing it out. Does no one remember “The Singer Stinger”?

I think Tinsley is absolutely devoid of character and has no personality whatsoever. If she actually stood up for herself like a grown woman and not a whining caricature I might have some interest in her. One of the only reasons people like her is because they hate Dorinda so much. 

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2 minutes ago, Chicklet said:

So women should only socialize with women of similar ages? I have friends of all ages and I find you can learn a lot from older and younger women,

No, if I thought that women should only socialize with women of similar ages, I would have said exactly that.  

What I think that it is much more likely for women of similar ages to have common ground and reason to socialize.  If these women had a common interest, such as dogs or horses, it would be much more believable.  But all they seem to have in common is drinking, and usually women day-drink with other women around their age and experience level.  

It’s an observation, not a value judgment.  

I don’t remember age always being such a hot button issue.  There are patterns amongst age groups, and as long as there are patterns, I will cheerfully point them out.  

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35 minutes ago, Keywestclubkid said:

I’m the victim it’s your fault for not treating me like I’m the victim.... Jesus Christ Dorinda and her mood swings. She is the MASTER of gaslighting she is the MASTER mental manipulator WOW ... she turned that on Ramona so quickly... so at the end Ramona was apologizing for Dorinda saying horrible things about her. Bravo Dorinda that was Wow 

Get the straight jacket and take her away.  Enough already.

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33 minutes ago, TeeMo said:

Never in my life did I think I would nod along with Ramona saying “Yes! Exactly!” as much as I have this season. 

It appears that Ramona isn't drinking as much, so maybe that's why we're seeing her being the voice of reason!  Maybe her exercising and doing yoga has taught her to slow down on the booze.  If she wants to stay healthy, then that's what she needs to do.  Moderation dear Noodle, moderation.  

I really don't look forward to seeing Leah go off the rails again.  This show is definitely a bad thing for her.  The spa they went to looked rather skeevy to me.  I could see the bacteria crawling around that place!!  😉  

Does anybody else cringe a little bit when they see the ladies coughing?  Now all I can think about is the Corona Virus and how this was probably brewing about the time they were filming, or did they film quite a while back?  

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I think Tinsley is perceived as harmless because she doesn’t stand up for herself and acts like a child, thinking it’s so cute. I just don’t believe she’s all that sweet underneath her candy shell. To me she’s like a hollow chocolate bunny. Nothing but dead air inside. 

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1 hour ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

Omg Dorinda and Luann talking about how they never go downtown!  Disgusting.

Dorinda won't even go South of Canal Street.

It’s only the pulse of the world .. WALL STREET !  , 911 and Ellis Island.

 

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(edited)
16 minutes ago, RedDelicious said:

I think Tinsley is perceived as harmless because she doesn’t stand up for herself and acts like a child, thinking it’s so cute. I just don’t believe she’s all that sweet underneath her candy shell. To me she’s like a hollow chocolate bunny. Nothing but dead air inside. 

But that could be said of anybody--they haven't done anything onscreen to deserve what the other person did but maybe inside there's something to justify it. Dorinda no doubt feels justified because bitch eating crackers etc. There's just no actual logic in what she claims are her reasons, like yelling at Tinsley that she's terrible for "not sharing" her feelings and life and then mocking Tinsley for her feelings and life. Or saying she's abusing her because she doesn't share and then making a big speech about how hard it is for someone like herself to share.

I mean, everybody on the show gets it--Dorinda just hates the sight of Tinsley for reasons that she can't actually explain. But that's more fun to watch if the viewer happens to have that same reaction to Tinsley/someone like Tinsley. If you don't have the impulse to stomp on hollow chocolate bunnies it's just all about Dorinda and it's just kind of soothing to see Tinsley check out and leave her to blubber to her life coach.

Edited by sistermagpie
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RHONYC is my favorite non-competitive reality series but I'm just not enjoying it this year. I miss the wit and humor Bethenny infuses, but it definitely goes beyond that. Something is very off about the ladies' collective energy this year.

Apparently Sonja measures time not by revolutions around the sun or lunar cycles but by how many bouts of diaherrea she's had.

Dorinda seems to railroad over people and then play the victim when she gets called out on her bad behavior. She's done this more than once now and it's become a pattern.

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So, I’ve been watching these Housewives shows for longer than I am embarrassed to say and when all the dust clears,have any of these women, over any of the franchises, ever sat down and had an intelligent conversation ? All they can talk about is clothing, eating out, real estate and each other. No talk about literature, politics or travel ( real travel not justgoing from one luxury hotel to another). No philosophical discussions or buoying each other up.  I have many female friends over 50 and these are the kind of things we talk about when we’re together. I can no more imagine screaming insults at my friends in public ( or anywhere) and I think that Gloria Steinem was correct when she chastised Andy for denigrating women with these shows.

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42 minutes ago, Chicklet said:

Well not to get all lecturer about it, but her age group-50 and up have had explosive increases in STD's, and especially Hep C and other nasty little diseases. So she is doing something smart.

I know about the high incidences of STD's in Ramona's age group because I am also in it.

I guess because I watched the repeats today of the season where Ramona "thought" she may have been pregnant (Season 4-?), that's where my brain went first. 

And, of course she is being smart, especially if she is sleeping with more than one partner, and they are, too.  

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We've known Tinsley is terrible at confrontation since her first season, when she confronted Sonja about Page Six and literally stamped her foot like a five-year-old.

But, she's really done nothing to provoke Dorinda's ire, and so if the best she can do is try and ignore her entirely, I wish Tinsley well.  I thought it was awful how everyone was calling her annoying, and that she thus deserved Dorinda's abuse - even the ones who were defending Tinsley!  

Ramona in the beginning of the episode saying to Dorinda (and Sonja) that they needed to go easier on Tinsley because Tinsley isn't a "strong woman like them" didn't really match her much harsher THs.  She was right later on, when she said that Tinsley wasn't a victim, but was being victimized by Dorinda.  

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24 minutes ago, RedDelicious said:

But Dorinda was absolutely right about Ramona dishing it out. Does no one remember “The Singer Stinger”?

I think Tinsley is absolutely devoid of character and has no personality whatsoever. If she actually stood up for herself like a grown woman and not a whining caricature I might have some interest in her. One of the only reasons people like her is because they hate Dorinda so much. 

 

11 minutes ago, RedDelicious said:

I think Tinsley is perceived as harmless because she doesn’t stand up for herself and acts like a child, thinking it’s so cute. I just don’t believe she’s all that sweet underneath her candy shell. To me she’s like a hollow chocolate bunny. Nothing but dead air inside. 

I feel very similarly.  For the sake of argument, let’s say Dorinda is the most horrible bully who’s ever bullied.  Her behavior is terrible, yes.  

But what about Tinsley’s behavior?  She is constantly being bullied and victimized by people since she signed on to this show—first Sonja, then Bethenny, now Dorinda.  And yet she keeps re-upping her contract for this show and hasn’t learned a better coping mechanism than screaming, or, as they say, screeching and/or crying and/or taking cheap shots when she’s drunk.  I can’t really rally around that.  It’s not an example of good character either.  

When Dorinda is acting sick toward Tinsley, I do feel bad for her, or when Sonja makes jokes about sucking small dicks for jewelry, it’s disgusting.  But Tinsley is really wearing thin as the person for whom to root.  I don’t feel positive energy from her.

I think if, after four seasons, one just hasn’t gained traction with a social group, and she doesn’t need the money, it may be time to exit stage left.  The pile-on is not just an example of maladaptive behavior, it’s boring.  

If Tinsley is not making an effort at mastering the coping skills of life, I only have so much patience.  I’m within about one episode of not caring any longer.  

When they piled on Luann, at least she summoned her tiny brain power and had fortitude and held strong though it was very difficult for her.  That was something I could get behind and support, even if I didn’t agree with all of Luann’s choices.  I was at least convinced that she was willing to stand up for herself.  She had moxie, and it made me want her to win.  

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1 minute ago, Caseysgirl said:

So, I’ve been watching these Housewives shows for longer than I am embarrassed to say and when all the dust clears,have any of these women, over any of the franchises, ever sat down and had an intelligent conversation ? All they can talk about is clothing, eating out, real estate and each other. No talk about literature, politics or travel ( real travel not justgoing from one luxury hotel to another). No philosophical discussions or buoying each other up.  I have many female friends over 50 and these are the kind of things we talk about when we’re together. I can no more imagine screaming insults at my friends in public ( or anywhere) and I think that Gloria Steinem was correct when she chastised Andy for denigrating women with these shows.

I think the downside to this is the risk of losing your audience.  Getting that real could damage their brands, and 2016's election talk seemed to bore the general audience, even though both Carole and Dorinda had real connections to the political world.  But those connections don't want to appear on this kind of TV, so it's not as interesting as it could be.  These aren't authentic conversations that the women are having, just the fluff or narrative they want to be seen.

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1 hour ago, Straycat80 said:

Life Coach=Shrink. Why is Dorinda so obsessed with Tinsley, this is just so weird. 

He’s not even a psychiatrist! The sign on the door said that he’s a chiropractor and nutritionist. 

The outside of Leah’s building kind of looks like the Friends’ building. 

Did Ramona move? That condo did not look like her old one. 

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6 minutes ago, LibertarianSlut said:

When Dorinda is acting sick toward Tinsley, I do feel bad for her, or when Sonja makes jokes about sucking small dicks for jewelry, it’s disgusting.  But Tinsley is really wearing thin as the person for whom to root.  I don’t feel positive energy from her.

Are people rooting for her? It doesn't seem like Tinsley is getting more popular, or that even the storyline on the show requires anybody to root for Tinsley. She's more just the thing that set the others off. It's stated outright on the show that Tinsley can't stand up for herself--the other women seem to even see it as a sign of their own strength that she gets ganged up on. That's pretty much how it works in junior high too.

The real plot is how Dorinda finishes bullying someone she starts wailing about how she's the victim and everyone apologizes to her. Tinsley's more obviously submitting to her by having to announce how much she respects her, but the other women pay homage to her too in a "strong" way.

Of course, IRL people probably do often deal with situations like the one with Dorinda by just distancing themselves from them. Just as IRL bringing chaos isn't the number one priority you look for in a person. But these shows are not real life.

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47 minutes ago, ChitChat said:

It appears that Ramona isn't drinking as much, so maybe that's why we're seeing her being the voice of reason!  Maybe her exercising and doing yoga has taught her to slow down on the booze.  If she wants to stay healthy, then that's what she needs to do.  Moderation dear Noodle, moderation.  

I really don't look forward to seeing Leah go off the rails again.  This show is definitely a bad thing for her.  The spa they went to looked rather skeevy to me.  I could see the bacteria crawling around that place!!  😉  

Does anybody else cringe a little bit when they see the ladies coughing?  Now all I can think about is the Corona Virus and how this was probably brewing about the time they were filming, or did they film quite a while back?  

They film in the fall, and it’s allergy season because of the trees drying up and blowing around causing distress.  Everyone blows their noses constantly and look sick.

 

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38 minutes ago, Silver Bells said:

It’s only the pulse of the world .. WALL STREET !  , 911 and Ellis Island.

 

Seriously.  Who lives in one of the greatest cities in the world and never leaves their own neighborhood.   They are so provincial. 

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26 minutes ago, ancslove said:

We've known Tinsley is terrible at confrontation since her first season, when she confronted Sonja about Page Six and literally stamped her foot like a five-year-old.

But, she's really done nothing to provoke Dorinda's ire, and so if the best she can do is try and ignore her entirely, I wish Tinsley well.  I thought it was awful how everyone was calling her annoying, and that she thus deserved Dorinda's abuse - even the ones who were defending Tinsley!  

Ramona in the beginning of the episode saying to Dorinda (and Sonja) that they needed to go easier on Tinsley because Tinsley isn't a "strong woman like them" didn't really match her much harsher THs.  She was right later on, when she said that Tinsley wasn't a victim, but was being victimized by Dorinda.  

Even if she wasn’t picking on Tinsley, she’d be picking on someone else.  Maybe Sonja.  Seeing all that has happened makes me think John got rid of her.  Why after all these years would she dump him all of a sudden?  Where in hell would she find better?  The whole city probably knows she’s a handful.  Now, we have seen it.  What’s Bravo going to do about this?

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2 hours ago, Chicklet said:

Of course Dorito can't see a real therapist because they wouldn't want it televised. I'm sorry this heifer lost her husband 9 years ago and she's that emotionally constipated that she couldn't do the emotional work until now but she has to scream at people because why again?

Because Dorinda is a raging narcissistic alcoholic and a very bitter woman at her core who isn't ready to acknowledge either of those things. I'm ashamed to say I used to really enjoy her antics and memorable one liners but she's gotten so nasty as of late there's almost nothing redeeming about her.

1 hour ago, LibertarianSlut said:

And Dorinda and that yes-man?  No words.  All I learned from that exchange was that Richard was not a good looking man.  

[...]

Maybe Dorinda really doesn’t know who Mao Zhedong was.  She compared the spa to a “Hamas,” which is a terrorist group.  What was this globe-trotting Richard even doing with her?

Dorinda was never Richard's intellectual equal. If she was, she'd never be seeking counsel from a chiropractor dressed in an embroidered polo with his name who also doubles as an ineffective "life coach." Her romantic relationships are very transactional. Apparently she has a type--non-lookers who can aggrandize her wealth, status and privilege or benefit her materially (ie. access to unclaimed fancy dresses and illicit drugs).

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(edited)
25 minutes ago, Silver Bells said:

Please don’t hate me, but I actually enjoyed BH last night better than this fiasco.

You're not alone. At least with BH there are antagonists like Kyle, Rinna and Dorit that I love to hate. Meanwhile on NYC Dorinda's vitriol and gaslighting has transformed the show into something that is both uncomfortable and unpleasant to watch. 

Edited by Rahul
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3 minutes ago, Lemons said:

Seriously.  Who lives in one of the greatest cities in the world and never leaves their own neighborhood.   They are so provincial. 

Uptown snobs.  That’s why lots live south of Canal Street.  Countessa should be so lucky.  Jailbird with a mug shot.  Real classy.  I hated the way she talked about Leahs apartment.  They all are so popular.  None even have a boyfriend.

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It could be John ended the relationship because, with Bluestone Manor under renovation and everything else, Dorinda's been talking about Richard more and more as time goes on. Even Leah said that she's learned more about Richard than John.

I wonder how annoyed Elyse is that she's not a full cast member.  Between calling Sonja an accessory, deliberately asking Dorinda about John, and now going after Dorinda and Sonja as they storm away, she's incited a fair bit of drama. 

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1 hour ago, Alonzo Mosely FBI said:

Omg i never heard of this Russian bath house thing and the massage with the bushes.  It was on a scene w Geoffrey and Varya on 90 Day Fiance 2 weeks ago and now this on RHONY! Twice in two weeks and my worlds are colliding!!! 

Ah, the banya. it is a big deal in Russian culture. My great-aunt had a banya in her backyard (obviously not fancy) but yes, it was where they’d go (in single-sex groups) to talk, relax, steam, and beat themselves with eucalyptus branches. for their health. Never tried it myself but I’d lie if I’d said it didn’t intrigue me.

In community centers where large groups of Russians congregate, they have to post signs saying “no eucalyptus branches in the steam room.” (I work in one such place.) Lots of people don’t get it—if you’re unfamiliar it DOES seem to be an oddly specific request—but I got it immediately. The world is their banya; we’re just steaming in it.

 

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