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Quotes: Action Sequels Are Best With A Pinot Noir

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Harriet: Whatcha doing, Mick?
Mickey: Writing a screenplay. It's going to be killer.
Harriet: Ooh, writing. I didn't even know you could read.
Mickey: And I didn't know gas stations sold women's clothes.

Harriet: You got a B on your health inspection. That manager you got, he's serving people sandwiches on moldy bread. You gotta dump him.
Ray: Abby hired him.
Beckett: I told you I was a front of the house guy. You wanted me to cook so action, meet consequence.

Smitty: What are you doing here? Do you live around here?
Bridget: No. I found out you work here.
Smitty: Okay, that's creepy.

Smitty: Do you want to go to my apartment and get stoned? It's really close. It's right by the Ikea. I'll get you some Swedish meatballs.

Sam: Do you think there's a moral to this story?
Ray: I don't know. Don't get old?

George: Home is where the heart is. That's what Dorothy said.
Ray: There's no place like home.
George: Exactly.

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Abby: What do people wear in Vegas?
Ray: Spandex.

Ray: Let's get a drink.
Abby: It's 8:30 in the morning.

Abby: Who was that?
Ray: Terry. Something about a whorehouse. I gotta to bail him out.
Abby: What do you think he did? Do you think he fucked a girl to death?

Mickey: Hey, Ray, how do I make this thing into a PDF? What's a PDF? Darryl got a guy, some big shot at ACA, to read my script but they said to send it over as a PDF. So what is it?
Ray: You can't turn paper into a PDF.
Mickey: Then what the fuck are they talking about?

Ray: You guys wait here.
Abby: Where the fuck are you going?
Ray: I'm going in.
Abby: You're going to talk to a hooker in a brothel?
Ray: Yeah.
Abby: On our anniversary?
Ray: Yeah.

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Mickey: Would you like something to eat? I got some nice chicken pot pies from Ralphs.

Maureen: We're alright? You had sex with a prostitute the night before you proposed to me.

Rob: I was a stuntman. Snapped my humerus, bone through skin, man. That's when I first met her. She was an ER nurse, sexy as fuck in her scrubs, tending my wounds.
Ray: Natalie?
Rob: Sarah. Her mom. Natalie's mom. I was 26, she was 39. I moved in with her. Natalie was 16 then. She was, um, beautiful doesn't even describe it.

Bunchie: Black Widow and Zorro Astuto - sounds like a shitty kids' book.

Rob: You're going to jail, motherfucker. I'm calling the cops.
Ray: What are you going to tell the cops, Rob? That you beat your wife?

Lena: I took that anger management course - twice.
Ray: How'd that work out for you?
Lena: I'm cured.

Mickey: "Michael looked at little Angela. He said to her, 'The reason daughters love their daddies the most is that there is at least one man in the world who never hurt her.'" You know where I got that from? A hooker friend of mine years ago. You're supposed to store up these nuggets from the past. That's what real writers do.

Mickey: "More exclamation points than human eyes should be forced to bear. Hackneyed. Saccharine mess. Cloying dialogue."

Terry: You can't lose your head like that. It's not a fight. It's a sport. It's got rules.
Conor: That motherfucker smiled at me. Fuck him.

Conor: I've made up my mind. I"m going to enlist after graduation. I'm not wasting time with college. I'm not Bridget.
Terry: You're a smart kid.
Conor: No, I'm not.

Mickey: Frank, that's not the way two assholes should talk to each other.

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Marty: Are you lost, sir? Are you looking for the senior center? That's a building down.
Mickey: A t***** pianist fights her way to Carnegie Hall. This is what earns a recommend from you?

Bunchy: I'm in. I just gotta go home and get my money.
Harriet: Your money?
Bunchy: Yeah, my settlement money. I like it in cash.
Harriet: You keep over a million dollars in cash at your house?
Bunchy: It's in the safe.
Harriet: Jesus fucking christ! It's not a goddamn drug deal.
Bunchy: Okay. So?
Harriet: So go home, get your money, go to a bank, and get a cashier's check, for fuck's sake.

Terry: You get a little success and people start coming out of the woodwork.
Damon: He's not people. He's my dad.
Terry: Yeah? Well my dad was a c***.

Sub sandwich customer: Is your avocado non-GMO?

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Mickey: The mark of a great anything - golf professional, bank robber - is the ability to forget the past.

Brogan: So when you were a child, did a parent or adult ever swear at you, yell at you, or make you feel like you would be physically hurt in any way?
Ray: Sure. We all got yelled at.
Brogan: Did a parent or adult ever push, grab, hit, or throw anything at you, hurt you in any way?
Ray: You got out of line, you got a beating. What's the matter, you haven't been spanked?
Brogan: Did a parent or somebody at least five years older than you ever touch you in a sexual way or force you to touch them?
Ray: I already talked to someone about that.
Brogan: So that's a yes. Were your mother and father ever divorced or separated?
Ray: My parents were Irish Catholic.
Brogan: Did you live with somebody that had a drinking problem?
Ray: Like I said, Irish Catholic.
Brogan: So that's a yes.

Terry: The hardest part was carrying your coffin. What we did before, everything else, I don't regret that, because I know we did the right thing. But carrying your coffin that broke my fucking heart.

Mickey: Bourbon, dear. A double.
Bartender: We're full nude.
Mickey: So? Topless place, you can get a drink.
Bartender: Full nude, we're dry. Sorry.
Mickey: Ain't that something? You gotta be sober to see a woman's pussy.
Bartender: In California.

Bunchy: Hey, uh, is Ian here?
Kenny: Why would Ian be here?
Bunchy: 'Cause he works here.

Abby: He said she had a vagina like a vacuum.

Bunchy: Where the fuck did you get this [money]?
Mickey: Don't ever ask me that.

Sam: You give this [Oscar] to Tom with this message, something Charles Bukowski wrote. He said, "My dear, find the thing you love the most and let it kill you." You can paraphrase that.

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Priest: It won't be the first time someone's been drunk in confessional.

Gustavo: Hello, handsome.
Ray: Hey, Gustavo.
Natalie: You two know each other?
Gustavo: I know everyone.

Antoine: We have enough black superheroes already, man. Black superheroes are everyday. This is what I'm thinking - gay black superhero.

Jay: That racist piece of shit [Mickey] wrote the worst fucking script in history.

Lena: FUCK!

Lena: Just fucking kill Frank, Ray!
Ray: I can't kill Frank.
Lena: Then I'll do it!

Darryl: You are a fucking racist.
Mickey: That's a joke. Every woman I ever loved was black.
Darryl: No, every pussy you ever wanted to fuck was black.
Mickey: Right. Same thing.

Gustavo: What story are we telling?
Ray: Guy gets shot in the head and he dies.

Gustavo: Ray, you shoot him in the head and his brains will explode everywhere. There'll be blood and brain matter. And if you want, I can make one of his eyes pop out of his head.
Ray: No, I think we're good with the brain matter.

Ray: My father's parked across the street in a black Cadillac. Don't fucking look, you moron.

Bunchy: What's your name?
Dimebag: Dimebag. Because no one can pronounce Duquesne Baker.

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Abby: Ray, remember what we said if the trial didn't work out? That I could control how this ends.
Ray: You're getting that fucking surgery, Abby.
Abby: You don't get to tell me what to do with my fucking body.

Terry: We all want the same thing. [Ray]'s just trying to make you better.
Abby: Does anyone in this family give a fuck about what I want?

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Terry: You know what you don't like about me? I'm the only person on this earth who's got the balls to tell you the fucking truth. Now you listen to me, Raymond. It was what [Abby] fucking wanted. It was her choice. Not yours.

Natalie: People as sad as us shouldn't live so high up.

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Darryl: Everyone knows you ain't supposed to take that shit you find at the gas station.
Mickey: What shit?
Darryl: That fake viagra. Shit like cock maverick and deep nine.
Mickey: Linda told me it was called triceratops 5.
Darryl: It's the same thing. They got one called the uplifter.
Mickey: They got a lot of fucking ones - the shapeshifter.
Darryl: Ten inch experience.
Mickey: The elephant gun.
Darryl: Magical johnson.
Mickey: Bob the builder.

Mickey: It's like taking a story about a bunch of dagos and filming it with s****.
Darryl: Hello, Mickey, that's Scarface. They moved it to Miami with Cubans.
Mickey: You know, you're right. I never thought of that.

Ray: I know what monastic means, for fuck's sake.

Samantha: You walked into that police station and named Doug just to spite me.
Ray: I'm lying for him.
Sam: No, you're supposed to be lying for me.

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Mickey: Calm down.
Darryl: I am calm. How about you act nervous? What are you doing over there? Are you chopping up vegetables?
Mickey: The tomato is a fruit.
Darryl: I can't.

Bridget: When I leave this room, what's going to happen?
Lena: They have to book you.
Bridget: Oh gawd.
Lena: I've been through it a dozen times. It's not that bad.

Damon's father: I'm a year and nine days sober.
Terry: Whoop de fucking doo.

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Darryl: I could always tell the truth.
Bunchy: For Mick? Fuck that.

Jackson: It's been a while since I've heard anyone call that area Chinatown.
Mickey: Yeah, I know. All the good c**** restaurants are up in San Gabriel now. Not that it's my favorite cuisine. High sodium.

Dr. Brogan: How's the zoloft treating you?
Ray: Not taking it.

Ray: I finished my anger management thing.
Lena: Do you feel rehabilitated?
Ray: Sure.

Sam: I think of Boston as a big ice cube full of angry people.
Ray: That sounds right.

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Fetu: Shit's not mine, man!
Mac: Oh, so the sky just opened up and decided to rain rock?
Fetu: Hey, hand of God, I don't smoke rocks. I'm out here exercising!
Mac: Try exercising your right to remain silent.

Mac: Where you from?
Ray: Los Angeles.
Mac: With that accent?

Mac: I spent my summers as a lifeguard when I was a kid. You know, I figured it was a great way to get some ass. But the YMCA? That's some old-ass ass.

Mac: These Japanese pitchers - how did they get so fucking good?
Ray: Umpires don't call corners in Japan.

Mac: I don't know why everybody loves firefighters. Is a firefighter going to stop a guy from attacking your daughter? No. Cops save lives, but firefighters are fucking saints?

Mac: Why'd you jump? 
Ray: I didn't.
Mac: So you just went on the roof, watched the sunrise, and slipped on a fucking banana peel?

Mac: Grief changes shape, but never ends. You know who said that? 
Ray: No.
Mac: Keanu Reeves.

Terry: You're fat.
Ray: What?
Terry: You should come and work out with the kid.
Ray: Go fuck yourself.

Fetu: He took us to fucking Staten Island.
Ray: Doesn't matter where he took us.
Fetu: He broke the fucking law.
Ray: Yeah, and you're a fucking drug dealer. That's not the point.

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Anita: I wasn't going shoot him.
Ray: So what'd you bring a gun for?

K'Lei: Where'd you find this guy, Jay?
Jay: Oh, I murdered somebody. I called him to cover it up. Then he blackmailed me into making this piece of shit. 
K'Lei: Sounds like every other producer I ever met.

Hardware store cashier: Jesus Christ, what are you doing? Cutting up a body?

Ray: I'm going to need some blow and an untraceable gun.

Bunchy: You think my father's a piece of shit, don't you? Well, he's just like any other fucking felon, right? Let me tell you something. That man he carried a lot of weight on him. He did 20 years at Walpole for fuck's sake. He's tough as nails. And that's what a boy needs, you know? Somebody to teach him how to be strong. He always tried to do that. He didn't always do it right. And you can't trust the man, ever. And maybe he did beat on us a little too often and ran around on our mother when she was dying of cancer. And if you cross him, he'll probably kill you. But he loves me. He loves me. And right now I don't got a whole lot of people that do.

Ray: Where's the silencer? 
Mac: I'm not an armory, Ray. I don't have suppressors laying around in the house.

Terry: You hear about Mick? Think we should fly out there?
Ray: What for?
Terry: I don't know. Say good-bye. Make sure we got no regrets.
Ray: I don't got any regrets. You?
Terry: No.
Ray: Fuck him.

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Bunchy: You remember my confirmation?
Mickey: Yeah. You took the name Patrick.
Bunchy: That was Ray. I took the name Adrian on account of it meaning brave. 
Mickey: Good. It suits you.
Bunchy: You don't remember cause you weren't there, pop. I had to get Danny O'Dea's father to sponsor me. 

Ray: How was class?
Bridget: Political theory shouldn't be at 8AM. Dr. Woods, my advisor, said that I need to get an internship to make up for last semester.
Ray: They going to help you find one?
Bridget: Fuck no.
Ray: What about Smitty? 
Bridget: What about him? 
Ray: He got a job yet?
Bridget: Why do you keep asking that?
Ray: Well, I just want to make sure he can take care of you.
Bridget: I can take care of him, you know. It's 2018, not 1820.

Lena: Are you at the Peninsula yet? 
Ray: Almost.
Lena: All right, well, as of five minutes ago, Crane was still in the shower.
Ray: Got it. All right, I'll see you there.
[Ray hangs up]
Lena: "Thanks so much, Lena, for moving to New York." Go fuck yourself, Ray.

Justine: How well do you know Lena?
Ray: What?
Justine: Do you guys ever talk? You know, personally?
Ray: No.

Ray: Seems like a nice girl.
Lena: Who? Oh, Justine, yeah.
Ray: How'd you meet her?
Lena: We dated in LA. 
Ray: What's she doing in New York?
Lena: Her brother's in Rikers, so she moved here to be closer to him.
Ray: Oh. Seems nice.
Lena: Nice?
Ray: Yeah. Why don't you take her out, get a meal or something?
Lena: Who the fuck are you?

Sandy: You must be Brendan.I met you a couple times when you was in diapers. You wouldn't remember me, but, I remember you. Well-endowed for an infant.

Jay: Black man come home from killing the yellow man for the white man. His mind, Daryll, his mind is changed. He's a new man, and he needs a new gun. The M16 would trigger PTSD. He needs a different gun, a new gun, an Uzi - not this bullshit that Antoine is asking me to perform with.
Daryll: Yo, Jay, we gotta-
Jay: Hey, how the fuck stupid are you?
Daryll: I'm stupid? Yo, Parker, man, what the fuck, bro? What took you so long, man?
Parker: I'm sorry, Mr. Donovan. Uzis are not easy to come by.

Daryll: Yo, Jay, yo, what happened to all the Uzi stuff?
Jay: Why the fuck would a soldier familiar with the inner workings of a rifle suddenly switch to a different gat? This is my rifle. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My rifle is my best friend. It is my life.

Sandy: How do I look?
Bunchy: Like Sister Mary Agnes.
Sandy: Was she good-looking?
Bunchy: Uh, handsome, I guess, when she wasn't, you know, rapping my fingers with a ruler.
Sandy: Nuns - snakes with tits, all of them.

Antoine: Yo, Jay, come on, man. It's a lovely cock sock.
Jay: Shit is wrinkly. Mr. Lucky ain't got no wrinkly dick.
Daryll: What's a cock sock?
Antoine: A cock sock is what we're gonna use to cover his junk for the upcoming sex scene.
Daryll: It's off-camera, though.
Antoine: Of course it's off-camera, Daryll. I'm not making a fucking porno.

K'Lei: The producer's job isn't to be his star's enemy. It's to become his enabler.

Mac: I appreciate you, Ray. Don't be a stranger.
Ray: I won't.
Mac: In that fancy fucking suit?
Ray: Fuck you.

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Sam: Jesus, Ray, I gotta say - another woman by this point might start to wonder if you're more trouble than you're worth.

Sam: Ray, you'd think a $3 million ask would warrant your undivided attention.

Bridget: We can't talk about my dad and then fuck. We just can't.
Smitty: That's fair.

Bartender: So you're a Donovan, yeah?
Terry: Yeah. How'd you know?
Bartender: It says so on your track suit. So you're a boxer, yeah?
Terry: I used to be.
Bartender: And now you're drinking Guiness for breakfast?
Terry: You're a bit fucking judgmental for a barman.

Sam: Oh, and Ray? If I were you, after this I'd put a bullet in your father's head.

Anita: How does your father feel about [your engagement]?
Bridget: My first boyfriend was shot in a driveby and my second was my eleventh grade math teacher so this is an improvement.

Smitty's client: I kid you not. Apparently his ex turned down his marriage proposal because it was so big. It was like having a fire hydrant in my mouth. Fucking him would have been like giving birth only backwards and without the epidural.

Ray: You, Mick, and $3 million?

Bunchy: Mick was dying.
Ray: No, he wasn't.
Bunchy: But we didn't know that!
Ray: I did.

Ray: Listen to me. If you take this money, you and Mick are the same to me.

Terry: My grandmother punches harder than you and she's been dead for forty fucking years!

Ray: Did you shit your pants?
Jay: Fuck you! I pissed in them but I did not shit in them.

Smitty: Can I  ask you a question?
Ray: Sure.
Smitty: Why wood?
Ray: What?
Smitty: Your bat. Why is it wood? Why not aluminum?
Ray: The fuck's it matter?
Smitty: Well, it's a statistical face that with aluminum bats, the balls carry like 5% further.
Ray: Did Carlton Fisk use fucking aluminum when he won game six? No. He used fucking wood.

Edited by ElectricBoogaloo
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Ray: If Bridget asks, you were out drinking with your buddies.
Smitty: Hey, I don't really like to lie to Bridget.
Ray: Did you tell her you were a fucking drug dealer when you asked her to marry you?
Smitty: No.
Ray: Eighty grand in debt?
Smitty: No.
Ray: But you don't like to lie to her.
[Ray rolls his eyes and sighs]

Bridget: Did you kill someone?
Ray: No.
Bridget: Did he kill someone?
Smitty: No.
Bridget: Well, you have blood all over you so whatever you did wasn't fucking good.

Mickey: Hey, accentuate the positive. Eliminate the negative. Confucius said that or some fucking person.

Sam: George, Lacey is not Ursula Andress. Lacey is not a movie star, and you telling her that she will be is what started this cycle.

Eddie: What the fuck is that?
Sam: It's a French term that means, well, makes me feel better for not making art.

Stu: I'm thrilled to be in the streaming business. I love streaming. It's the future. I love that the audience doesn't go to the movie theater anymore, that they watch our work on their phones while they ride the subway, you know, while they're doing their dishes, while they're taking a shit.

Annie: Ray, you look like your dog just died.
Ray: Thanks.
Annie: Do you get that a lot? Has your dog just died?

Annie: So what do you do?
Ray: Security.
Annie: Yeah, like what? Blankets?
Ray: Yeah, blankets.
Annie: Do security blankets pay?
Ray: They can.
Annie: Sounds fucking dreadful.
Ray: It is.

Smitty: I'd offer you a hit but I'm guessing that you don't high.
Ray: Mmm.
Bridget: Well, you should.

Ray: I just don't want you to do something stupid because you're mad at me.

Anita: What you did today - you're pretty fucking clever.
Ray: Not really.
Anita: So people are just dumb?
Ray: I dunno.

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Sam: Someone broke into my house.
Ray: Are you alright?
Sam: No, I'm not alright. Someone broke into my fucking house.

Lena: What do you think?
Ray: I think she's a little old for you.
Lena: I think you're a little fucking old.

Sam: If I didn't own the place, I'd sue. I've never had a break in before. I've orchestrated lots of break ins but I've never had a break in, so today must be my lucky day.

Sam: He told me to get out of the mayor's race. He called Anita a pollock c*** so clearly he's very bright and cunning.

Sam: Come for the views, stay for the beatings.

Sam: Where are you from?
Lena: Philly.
Sam: And you're from money, aren't you?
Lena: Grandpa had money.
Sam: Vague.
Lena: I never took any of his money.
Sam: Well, I would say "good for you," except that I think that's really stupid.

Sam: I bit [the attacker].
Lena: You did?
Sam: Right here.
Lena: Good for you!
Sam: Did you ever bite anyone?
Lena: I did in jail.
Sam: Why were you in jail?
Lena: Eighteen months on aggravated assault.
Sam: Okay, I like that in my bodyguard!

Ed: Sounds like a living hell.
Racquetball guy: Oh, no. We stay on the outskirts of all that - hidden luxury camps. Burning Man is the new golf course, Ed.
Ed: Well, that sounds dirty.
Racquetball guy: It's fantastic. Last year I did peyote. And the women are unbelievable!
Ed: I'll take your word for it.
Racquetball guy: Joel's flying us out this year. Super first rate.
Ed: Yeah, I'll let you know.
Racquetball guy: It'll change your life!

Terry: [Maria]'s not a felony. She's family.

Security camera guy: I was very sorry to hear about Abby. I remember when I met her. We were at Drift in Malibu with Ezra - you know, the place with all the airplane parts and hazardous seafood? And your wife, I had never met her before in my life. She came right over to me and she said, "This place smells like a bucket full a hooker pussy.  -which it did. So we got hammered on the patio.

Camo guy on bus: I don't want to shoot you, but I will. This ain't even my gun. It's my brother's gun. He'll be really pissed if I kill someone with it, but I will.

Bunchy: Never fuckin' disappoint when it comes to disappointment, do you, Mick?

Edited by ElectricBoogaloo
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Darryl: It turns out that PTSD and cocaine do not mix.

Bunchy: Told you to throw that gun in the fucking river.
Darryl: What?
Bunchy: This is your fault.
Darryl: How's this my fault?
Bunchy: You shot Frank Barnes.
Darryl: Yeah, and you kidnapped my movie star!
Bunchy: Yeah, and you put pop in jail.
Darryl: Ray made me do it.
Bunchy: You always do everything Ray tells you to?
Darryl: Do you?
Bunchy: Fuck you. You shouldn't even be on this trip.
Darryl: I paid for these tickets!
Bunchy: Yeah, with the money you got from screwing Mickey over.
Terry: Enough.
Darryl: You know what? Bunchy, you got something to say to me?
Bunchy: Yeah. You're a shit singer.

Mickey: How much for the entire wardrobe? The whole thing, just as it is? $500? $800?
Wig store guy: How about $1000 and a date?
Mickey: I'm sorry, kid. I don't swing that way no more.
Wig store guy: But you did.
Mickey: In a tight spot, you get creative but I never got fucked in the ass or vice versa.

Bianchi: Patrolman responding to a possible explosion on the corner of Van Brunt and King.
Lena: Hi. I think a car blew up over there.
[Lena knocks on Bridget's door]
Bridget: Why do I get the feeling you had something to do with that explosion?
Lena: Because I just blew up a car. Where's your boyfriend?
Bridget: You want to explain what the fuck is going on?
Lena: Yeah. Will you text him? Tell him not to come back here. Put this on. Bridge, I know. I'm sorry, but I just I need you to do this.
Bridget: You know it's fucking ridiculous, right?
Lena: I do, yes.

Mickey: I'm looking for Bridget. 
Bridget: Who is it? 
Smitty: I don't know, it's some old dude. Looks like the guy from Boogie Nights.
Bridget: Mark Wahlberg?
Smitty: No, uh, you know, the Burt Reynolds guy, except he's a little taller.

Darryl: Yo, how about we go to Fenway, go check out the Green Monster?
Bunchy: Dodgers fans don't get to go to Fenway.
Darryl: So what you saying?
Bunchy: Saying that hat's fucking ugly.
Darryl: I thought it was the Yankees you guys hated.
Bunchy: It's Boston. It's the Sox or nothing.
Darryl: Yeah, well, I'm a Dodger fan, man. I ain't take my hat off for nobody.
Bunchy: Yeah? Your funeral.

Bar guy: I don't see my kid, neither. Fucking heartache of my life. 
Bunchy: What happened?
Bar guy: Screwed this barfly, Pamela, in my marital bed. Stupid me. Wife came home, caught us 69ing. That was before the accident. Next day, she took the kids to her mother's in Allentown, never came back. If I could do it over, you know what I should've done? Taken Pamela to a Motel 6.

Terry: How you stay with a guy like that?
Lauren: Well, first off, he's the father of my kid. Second off, uh, he loves me.
Terry: Yeah, but do you love him?
Lauren: Enough.

Terry: Hey, we should go to Fenway.
Darryl: Yeah, yeah, I could use a hot dog. 
Terry: A hot dog? 
Darryl: You're you're not hungry?
Terry: No, no, no. In Fenway, they got these these sausages with these onions and peppers.

Bridget: How many miles between us is it gonna take, dad?
Ray: What do you mean?
Bridget: How far do I have to go to get away from all of this?
Ray: I'm sorry, sweetheart.
Bridget: You always are.

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Sandy: How did you find me?
Bunchy: Divine intervention.

Terry: Listen, I'm sorry about calling you Abby.
Lauren: Don't worry about it.
Terry: Really?
Lauren: Yeah. Why do you think my eyes were closed? I was pretending you were Ryan Gosling.
Terry: Well, it's been said.

Mickey: Here we are - the scumbag reunion.

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Dr. Amiot: I don't believe in court-ordered therapy. I think it's a total waste of time. You have to be willing to be helped. You know, you have to be so uncomfortable or so much in pain that you're truly willing to be helped.

Dr. Amiot: You married, Ray?
Ray: No.
Dr. Amiot: So the ring is just to keep the ladies away or what?
Ray: She died.
Dr. Amiot: She must have been young. My wife was 81 when she died. She would have liked you. She was a music teacher. She loved pauses. You know, the music between the notes. The silence.

Ptolemy: Don't do it. 
Ray: What? 
Ptolemy: Don't drink from the fountain.
Ray: Why not?
Ptolemy: It's full of bromide. It's how they sedate us. Helps them keep order. Drink from the toilet.

Bridget: What happened?
Ray: It's a misunderstanding.
Bridget: They wouldn't tell me anything on the phone.
Ray: Just, uh, I forgot to eat, you know. 
Bridget: Are you okay? 
Ray: Sure, just got got dizzy, and I passed out.
Bridget: You got dizzy and passed out and they brought you to a psych ward?

Daryll: Hey, uh, I noticed you got some real quality equipment right there. 
Sandy: Oh, that. I had a racket going for a while for seniors when they had trouble hearing. And so I would record the good book for them. It was soothing.
Daryll: You mean trouble seeing.
Sandy: No, hearing. I would read it really loud. I got a voice that carries.

Dr. Amiot: Look, I've got no dog in this fight, but I don't think you should leave, not yet. I know this isn't the Four Seasons, but in your situation, it's good to get a real break from everything. Get yourself reoriented.
Ray: I'm fine.
Dr. Amiot: You blacked out last night. You attacked a policeman. You really think that qualifies as fine? Sometimes I see people privately in my apartment. I answer my own phone. Next time you forget to eat, give me a call.

Terry: What are you doing here?
Mickey: I missed you, son.
Terry: Cut the bullshit.

Darryl: Pop, last time I let you set a fight up for me, I almost got killed, remember?

Bunchy: You're high as fuck.
Terry: I am.

Emerson: When you met the mayor, they had you undress, correct?
Ray: Yeah.
Emerson: All right. You'll need to tape the microphone to your perineum.
Ray: My what?
Emerson: Your perineum. The flat space between your testicles and your asshole. Oh, and, Ray, when you're wearing the wire, try to maintain a wide stance. Helps with the audio.

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Smitty: We got a car! Yeah!
Bridget: What?
Smitty: It's a convertible.
Bridget: Did you steal it?
Smitty: No.
Bridget: Who'd you get it from?
Smitty: A guy.
Bridget: Who?
Smitty: Bobby.
Bridget: Omigawd. How did you pay for it?
Smitty: Does that matter?
Bridget: Mmm hmm.
Smitty: Oh. I gave him a bunch of coke.
Bridget: Are you kidding me?
Smitty: But that's it. It's all gone. I swear to God. It's all gone. Come on. Be excited. Please?
Bridget: Do you really not have any more?
Smitty: No.
Bridget: WHAT?
Smitty: Well, I mean, I have a little bit.
Bridget: Oh, damn it, dude.
Smitty: But we also have a 1988 Volkswagon Cabriolet.
Bridget: You're a terrible person.

Bunchy: You got a thousand bucks?
Terry: What for?
Bunchy: I'm gonna go somewhere.
Terry: With a thousand bucks? What are you gonna do? Go live in the fucking woods?

Bunchy: I just want to go somewhere where they don't speak English. Fucking start over. Different language, different food, different fucking beer.
Terry: Yeah? Where?
Bunchy: Croatia?
Terry: What, near Greece?
Bunchy: No, that's somewhere else. How about New Zealand or some shit?
Terry: They speak English there.
Bunchy: It'd probably be fucking easier.

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Mickey: Raymond, listen. We got a dead cop in that house. Don't need to draw attention to ourselves.

Agent Howe: Are you on the spectrum, Mr. Donovan?
Bunchy: No.
Agent Howe: Then why are you acting like you are?

Sandy: Ray tried to kill you?
Smitty: Yeah. He poisoned me.
Sandy: To save Abby?
Smitty: Right.
Sandy: Sounds like Ray. He was a very strange child.

Sandy: Is Bridget going to take your last name?
Smitty: Uh, we haven't really talked about that yet.
Sandy: Cause Smith is pretty fucking boring.

Agent Howe: Terry Donovan?
Terry: Who wants to know?
Agent Howe: Agent Ange Howe, FBI.
Terry: What do you want?
Agent Howe: It's actually pretty simple, Mr. Donovan. I want you to accompany me to the federal building and talk some sense into your dumb as fuck brother.

Sandy: I should've been a hooker.
Smitty: A what?
Sandy: I'm stout.
Smitty: You're what?
Sandy: I'm mean as a mama wasp staring down a can of Raid. I got good eye and foot coordination, too. You never watch this? 
Smitty: No, not really.
Sandy: A hooker is the strongest position in rugby. It's a real sport for real men. None of this pussy soccer bullshit. Anyway, I got to deploy the USS Brownfish.
Smitty: Deploy what?
Sandy: I'm taking a shit, you dumbass.
Smitty: Oh.
Sandy: If the President calls, I'll be in my office.

Sandy: What do you know? It's a cop kebab.

Terry: The man's a monster. He was a terrible father. He's a rat himself. Fuck him.
Bunchy: Sure, he made a lot of mistakes. But look at me. You think there's ever a chance that Maria could end up normal? Or that Bridget or Conor could end up normal? Terry Look at yourself. We're fucking Donovans. We're cursed.
Terry: Bullshit.
Bunchy: Don't you think it was kind of inevitable, Ter? I was always going to end up like this.
Terry: You're a father. You still got a life.
Bunchy: My life ended 30 years ago.

Mickey: What happened here?
Sandy: Smitty Donovan here tried to start a fire. Got carried away. Mickey: That right? Well, now you're acquainted with corpses, maybe you can help Daryll in the back.
Smitty: With what?
Mickey: We got another one in the car.
Smitty: Oh, shit.

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Mickey: Once you done a thing, son, once you done a thing, it's done, so you go ahead, get it all out now, all the vomit, all the tears, cause then you're gonna shut your mouth about it the rest of your fucking life.
Smitty: Oh gawd.
Darryl: Yo, man, why don't you grab a shovel, help us out?
Smitty: Well, I think I'm dehydrated.

Mickey: Bridget comes from a very strong mother, and she's strong too. You want to be with a woman like that, you gotta toughen up.

Bridget: Beach House in Malibu. I used to watch this when I was in high school.
Terry: I don't get how Mary Jane's twin is still on the show after they murdered her.
Bridget: Her twin came back, but it turned out she was her triplet.

Terry: You should be smoking pot and going to concerts, not burying bodies on Long Island.

Mickey: Great kids come from great fucks.

Sandy: Why did the golfer change his pants? He had a hole in one!  How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it. Two cannibals are sitting around, eating a clown, and one says to the other, "Does this taste funny?"

Terry: Next time you feel like doing yourself in, you call the person who fucking loves you more than anything else in the world. Remember that.

Terry: She's waiting in the living room but Bunchy's not there, right, cause Bunchy's over at the mall and he's stealing Air Supply's Greatest Hits on cassette cause he heard it was good make out music.

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Dr. Amiot: So you brought [Mickey] [to the FBI] yourself?
Ray: Yeah. I drove him. 
Amiot: What was that like for you? 
Ray: What?
Amiot: What'd it feel like to to take your father and turn him in to the authorities?
Ray: I don't know. It wasn't the first time.

Amiot: What would happen if you, you know, if you just put all this anger aside and just forgave your father?

Stalker: You don't know what the fuck you're doing!
Ray: Shut up. You need to stay away from Britney Muller.
Stalker: Fuck you!
Ray: Fuck me? 
Stalker: Yeah, fuck you! 
Ray: You go near her again, I'll break your fucking arms. Are we clear?
[Ray walks away and sighs]
Ray: I'm sorry. I don't think I handled that very well. I think you might be mixed up about Ms. Muller. You should talk to someone about that, you know? Get some help.

Ray: Adam's bringing that kid by today.
Bridget: Why do you do that?
Ray: What?
Bridget: He's like one of the biggest stars on the planet. 
Ray: Who? 
Bridget: Jonathan Walker Hanson. -
Ray: So? 
Bridget: So you know who he is and you act like you don't, and it's fucking annoying.

Bridget: I don't think I want to be married. I think I made a huge mistake. I mean, I love Smitty, I do, but I don't know what I want to do. I don't know who I wanna be. And he doesn't either.
Ray: Did you meet someone else? It's all right, Bridge, it happens.
Bridget: Yeah, it happened with you a lot.

Bridget: Yeah, there's someone else. Nothing's happened, but I don't want to lie, and I don't want to cheat.
Ray: So don't.

Amiot: So you're going to see [Mickey] in prison? 
Ray: Yeah. 
Amiot: Today?
Ray: I just said that. 
Amiot: You want to talk about it? 
Ray: Not really.
Amiot: Does seeing him make you feel uncomfortable?
Ray: I don't know. 
Amiot: You don't know. 
Ray: Okay. Yeah, yes, seeing my father makes me uncomfortable.
Amiot: So what can you do about that? 
Ray: I don't know. 
Amiot: How can you make yourself less uncomfortable? 
Ray: You tell me. That's why I'm here.
Amiot: So why are you going to see him?
Ray: Because you told me to. That's what I thought you said, that if I work something out with Mick that somehow that'll make my life better.
Amiot: Well, it's worth getting you to try. A lot of people have benefited from that. 
Ray: What? 
Amiot: They try getting in touch with them. The question is can you do it? Can you take a a baby step in that direction? Can you take a step that's that's so tiny that there's no there's no risk? What can you change about you that'll make it easier for you to be with him?

Feratti: You all know who Alexander Hamilton was.
Kid: Isn't that the guy from the musical?

Feratti: Nobody tells you half this job is being a fucking Macy's Santa Claus.

Detective Perry: That head that came up, one of our three missing cops. 
Bricker: Which one? 
Perry: Albert Clancy. I'm waiting on ballistics, but I want to get a dredge going where he was found.
Bricker: Do you think whoever's killing cops and chopping off heads is stupid enough to dump them all in one place?

Jonathan Walker Hanson: I've got 73 million followers, right? And 20,000 to 25,000 usually want to come to one of my shows, right?
Ray: Okay.
Jonathan: And so I get a lot of requests, right? For stuff that I could just never really do, you know? I mean, a lot of girls want me to be their prom dates, and a lot of kids are sick in the hospital, and a lot of moms want me to visit their daughter at some birthday party for, like, five minutes. I mean, a lot of them even offer me money, you know? Like, a couple hundred thou, go to a party for a minute.
Ray: What did you do?
Jonathan: Well, sometimes when a mom offers me to go to one of these birthday parties, they offer me more than just money.
Ray: What do they offer you?
Jonathan: Blowjob. They want to fuck.
Ray: How many times has this happened?
Jonathan: Maybe 200.

Ray: How old is this woman? 
Jonathan: She's really old. She's, like, 35.
Ray: How old are you?
Jonathan: Seventeen.
Ray: You don't need my help.
Jonathan: Why?
Ray: She shows anyone those pictures, she goes to jail.
Jonathan: For extortion, right?
Ray: No, for statutory rape. You know what statutory rape is, right?
Jonathan: Yeah. She raped me. 
Ray: I didn't say that. 
Jonathan: She should fucking pay me. 
Ray: That's not what I said. 
Jonathan: Fuck!
Ray: What I said-
Jonathan: Okay, right on. I'm a victim. Thank you.

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Was there ever a conversation more representative of the Donovan brothers than right after Mickey died?

Terry: I just heard about Mick. Are you alright?
Ray: Yeah. You?
Terry: Yeah.

Darryl: Is this the only picture you have of Mickey?
Terry: What's wrong with that one?
Darryl: What's wrong is I'm not in it.
Terry: I don't got no photographs after my mother died and he shacked up with yours.

Jonathan: We ought to do [this song] in 3/4.
Adam: Like a waltz?
Jonathan: Okay, fine. What about 5/8?
Adam: What about 4 fucking 4, man? You know, so people can dance dance?

Lena: What's up with your boss?
Bridget: What are you talking about?
Lena: ...
Bridget: What? Nothing.
Lena: Just promise me you're not going to get pregnant. I'm serious. Seriously. Not with Smitty and definitely not with that guy.

Lena: Have you been drinking?
Ray: Yeah.

Ferrati: They found Big Al. Someone dismembered the body and threw his head into Long Island Sound. What kind of maniac does that, do you think?

Bunchy: [Mickey] was a shit father but he was a good grandpa.

Bunchy: We're trying to tell happy stories [about Mickey], Ray.
Ray: Yeah? How's that going for you? There was that time he got out of Walpole and shot that fucking priest. 
Bunchy: Wrong priest. 
Ray: At least he got one.
Darryl: I thought Ray shot the priest.
Bunchy: Uh, different priest.
Terry: I'm the only one who didn't shoot a priest.
Ray: You better get yourself a fucking priest, Ter.

Ray: That's the problem with stories with Mick. There's not a lot of happy endings.

Edited by ElectricBoogaloo
  • Love 1
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Mickey: That was a nice urn you bought for me. I'm not sure about the eternal flame thing. I didn't know they made those. Strange choice for a guy who burned to death.

Ray: Don't just stand there. Put your prints on the door.

Ray: Make the calls. Destroy the phones.
Sany: You don't have to tell me that. I'm not a fucking amateur.

Darryl: I went to Madison Square Garden for the first time - the JWH show.
Perry: JWH show?
Darryl: Jonathan Walker Hanson. And, yes, he killed it.
Perry: He must be thrilled with the new demographic.

Claudette: What was that all about?
Darryl: I don't know.
Claudette: Mmm hmm. Well, it sounds like some Donovan bull shit to me.

Mickey: Ray's forcing me to leave the country, Bunch. After all I've done for everybody, all I've done for you. Tell him I won't be a problem, Bunch.
Bunchy: Yeah, you will, Mick. You're always a fucking problem.

Perry: Some fisherman in the area said they saw a man fitting the description of your father out on the water that day. They said he wasn't alone. They said he was with a black man, late 30s, early 40s, well built.
Claudette: And my son's the only person in five boroughs that fits that description, right?

Edited by ElectricBoogaloo
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  Smitty: Hey, can I ask you something?
Ray: What?
Smitty: You know, when you first got married, how long did, like, the happy part last?
Ray: What?
Smitty: How long did everything feel good all the time? 
Ray: How long?
Smitty: You know what I mean. I mean, Bridget just doesn't seem interested.
Ray: Interested. 
Smitty: Interested in having sex with me.
Ray: Oh, Jesus.

Jasmine: So Palm Springs.
Darryl: Mmm hmm. 
Jasmine: How many black people are even in Palm Springs?
Darryl: Four. And that's including me and my mom.
Jasmine: And how many curious white girls just threw themselves at you? 
Darryl: Not many.
Jasmine: Meaning every girl in Palm Springs?

Adam: Kid's got herpes. 
Ray: What?
Adam: Jonathan Walker Hanson! He's got herpes. 
Ray: So? 
Adam:  So? I think he gave it to a lot of women.
Ray: Take him to a doctor.

Molly: Sometimes I forget. 
Ray: What? 
Molly: Well, my dad, what he came from. That he's a criminal.
Ray: Mine was too. He just wasn't any fucking good at it.

Guy: We're paying $5,000 for a three bedroom. One of these bedrooms is so small, Stuart can't even turn his dildo horizontal.

Jonathan: Hey, maybe you shouldn't be wearing my clothes.
Smitty: Oh? Why's that?
Jonathan: Well, what if they're contagious?
Smitty: I don't think it works like that. Hey, uh, Bridget? Hey, Bridget, you can't get herpes from clothes? Right.

Reporter: Multiple anonymous social media accounts have popped up in the last hour using the hashtag JWHerpes to spread - no pun intended - a warning about the pop star's condition.

Terry: I expected to feel different but I just feel the same but here.

Jonathan: I mean, at first I thought it was just poison ivy.

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Ray: You're out of food. 
Terry; I'm fine.
Ray: No, you're not fine, Terry.
Terry: Am I out of beer?
Ray: No, you got three beers.
Terry: Then I'm fine.

Smitty: Hey, dad. I found your car.
Ray: Please don't call me that.

Jim: Kevin, as of the first of the year, you will be both CEO and COO of Sullivan Industries.
Kevin: Thank you.
Jim: Yeah, well, the competition was slim. You getting my company has about the same significance as when I saw your daughter getting that gold medal for acrobatics when she couldn't even do a somersault without looking like a dog trying to fuck itself.

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Molly: Your daughter's a lot like you.
Ray: Yeah? 
Molly: Yeah - smart, tough, angry, honest. Is she okay?
Ray: She's only been married four months and she's already having an affair.
Molly: And what about your brother?
Ray: He's all bent out of shape cause he shot some kid who was robbing the store he works in.
Molly: And you're the one in therapy.

Terry: What do you need?
Smitty: I got arrested last night.
Terry: So?
Smitty: I've never been arrested before.
Terry: What did you do? 
Smitty: I beat some guy up with a baseball bat.
Terry: Why?
Smitty: He had sex with Bridget.

Smitty: You know, when I first met Bridget, I was dying. I wasn't really in the head space to think about, you know, what she needed.
Terry: Yeah, well, it was a rough time for her too.
Smitty: So what do I do? I mean, am I am I supposed to do something?
Terry: Well, you beat up the guy. You got arrested. That's a good way of showing someone you love them.
Smitty: So now I just go back and just forgive her?
Terry: That depends. Does she want to be forgiven?
Smitty: Well, she hasn't apologized.
Terry: Look, I don't know shit about women or love, but I do know that you can't give a woman something they just didn't fucking ask for in the first place.

Bridget: I'm sorry you got your arm broken.
Adam: I got my arm broken? Like I fell off a swing?
Bridget: You knew I was married. You knew that there could be consequences.
Adam: Not getting hit with a fucking bat consequences. I had to cancel three months of dates.
Bridget: I need you to drop the charges against Smitty.
Adam: Well, that is not a fair thing to ask.
Bridget: Adam, is the story that you want out there that you slept with your married 21 year old intern and then her husband beat the shit out of you? It's not a very rock & roll reason to cancel a tour.

Terry: Did you hang up on her?
Smitty: Yup.
Terry: Where's your fucking manners?
Smitty: You know she cheated on me.
Terry: You ain't leaving her, she ain't leaving you.
Smitty: Oh, you don't know that. 
Terry: Yeah? Kid, you married her forever when you killed that cop.
Smitty: What's that supposed to mean?
Terry: We got bodies buried in the backyard. You joined the family then. I don't think you're leaving anytime soon.

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Doyle: All right, Mickey's not suspicious or anything, is he?
Jimmy: Mickey fuckin' Donovan's got his head so far up his ass he ain't suspicious of shit.

Jimmy: You look pretty good for a man who burned to death.
Mickey: You look like shit for a rich fuck.
Jimmy: Well, that's cause I didn't have the benefit of having my face moisturized by convicts coming on it day and night.

Mickey: You're going to make it right, Jimmy.
Jimmy: I don't know about you, but I only travel forward in time.
Mickey: If I'd gotten my fair share, I'd be the billionaire now.
Jimmy: I didn't take that gold, plant it in the ground, grow a goddamn tree that grew apples made of money. I worked. I worked my ass off every day to build what I built.

Mickey: The gold itself is worth near 20 [million dollars]. And that was 40 fucking years ago. And what with compounded interest on on that a-fuckin'-lone
Jimmy: Compounded interest. Compounded interest on stolen gold? Mick, have you ever even read a Wall Street Journal?
Mickey: Look it up. Look it up on the internets. How much would $20 million compounded be worth in 40 years?
Darryl: For like a home loan?
Mickey: Whatever.
Jimmy: Jeez. Fucking idiots.

Jimmy: Just tell me a fucking number so I can figure out whether I'd rather die or pay it.

Jimmy: We were playing poker this time at O'Neil's. You'll remember this. Mick had a good run, then the heat left him. He got himself dealt out and he walked away. That was before he lost it all, you know? He had promised his wife money to pay the bills.
Mickey: I don't remember that.
Jimmy: You don't remember paying the bills, Mick, cause before you left, you hired two black hookers who fed you some sob story and you gave them the money you'd promised your wife.
Mickey: Well, that was stupid. And maybe I always was a little too soft at it.
Jimmy: There it is. You're the guy who would fuck over the people he loves the most and call it soft-hearted. At least someone cruel lets you know where you stand. But a piece of shit who's righteous, thinks he's good? Fuck me.

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Perry: Who killed Lake?
Ray: Radulovic, under orders from Feratti.
Fareed: Wait a minute. So you're telling me that the mayor of New York City called a hit on an IAB investigator?
Ray: That's what I just said.

Dolores: The man you are going to be is going to be standing on top of a mountain made of the dead versions of yourself.

Frankie: Where's the [stock] paper?
Mickey: My son has it. It's in my other son's name.
Frankie: Do you always sell things that don't belong to you?

Frankie: Will you take bitcoin?
Mickey: What the fuck is that?

Mickey: So you fed a little cheese to the cops. So what? You were trying to save your wife. People pass judgment on rats but few understand what it's like to be under that kind of pressure. Everyone thinks that they can hold up. The truth is everyone's a rat at one point or another. It's human nature. Even Ray ratted me out, put me in prison. I ratted other people out in order to survive. You do what you gotta do.

Mickey: Let me let you in on a secret - all champagne is the same. Don't matter if you pay $14 or $114. After one glass of the fucking bubbles, it all tastes the same because it is the fucking same.

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Darryl: Smitty, you're a good kid and I like you. But if you do not get away from my father, you are going to end up dead. Do you understand?
Mickey: Please, son. That's not fair.
Darryl: Fair? Wait a minute - fair? But you know what, pop? You're right. It's not fair. But it's math.

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