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COVID-19: Personal Stories

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1 hour ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

I don't know.  Considering how a lot of Thanksgiving dinners go, a 40-minute limit might be a good thing.  Trevor Noah did a funny bit last Thursday about the 40-minute limit being a lifesaver when his cousin starts talking about his foot surgery.

 

That's how I found out about it!  Of course, it's not hard to get out of a meeting, just "lose" the connection. Or "accidentally" put everyone on mute. 

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14 minutes ago, ALenore said:

That's how I found out about it!  Of course, it's not hard to get out of a meeting, just "lose" the connection. Or "accidentally" put everyone on mute. 

"Wow...my internet connection is terrible today...everyone must be doing zoom dinner!" Oops. 😛 

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12 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:
On 11/23/2020 at 12:53 AM, Yeah No said:

She doesn't approve of that kind of behavior when other people do it, but thinks it's OK when she does it? 

Well, sure.  She has a good reason for doing it while others obviously don't.  Not that she knows what their reasons might be.  But hers are better than theirs, for sure.

In HER mind, maybe, but I know her for 45 years and I'm not buying it.

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Y'all, I'm just at a complete loss over this situation with my parents. Here's the text conversation between my mother and me.

Quote

Me: Did you take a test? I hope [stepdad] is OK. Be safe driving. I love you

❤️

Mom: I've not been exposed because I've not been within 6 feet of Dad. I was in mountains from Thursday to yesterday afternoon. I didn't eat with him, didn't go in the living room with him, and don't sleep with him. [My sister and niece] just left for Tulsa.  She came in from work right behind me.

Me: When does Dad find out about his test results? When did he last work w/his boss [who tested positive]?

Mom: Wednesday test results. Friday worked with boss. No masks for WEEKS! No plexiglass for WEEKS. I was very upset with him, but I got over it.

Me: I don't really know what to say, but I'll try. I'm worried about you and Dad. We cannot know when Dad was exposed to boss (or whoever) because it can be 10 days between exposure through incubation before one tests positive. I think you should be tested, too. Please be careful down there. There's no state mask mandate in GA. I love you.❤️

I'm facepalming so hard. Mom was IN THE MOUNTAINS while my dad was exposed so it's COOL COOL COOL. Hello, you were TRAVELING. What is hard about this?!? And my parents are going to a megachurch, so their risk is increased exponentially doing that. And now my mother who was potentially exposed via my dad who was probably exposed has now potentially exposed my sister and niece. My sister is apparently back at work instead of working from home because Georgia truly gives zero fucks. My niece (12YO) is in school in person half the week.🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Edited by bilgistic · Reason: Last paragraph's not supposed to be in quote but I can't figure out how to fix it.
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Some colleagues are Brand Ambassadors at a store in PA.  They are now quarantined due to a covid exposure from store staff.  There is a mask order in place but they say every day they see people coming in without masks and no one stops them.  I think one of our folks might quit because his stress is so high over the fear of exposure and he lives with his grandparents who are at risk.  He is quarantining in a friend's basement so he can be separate from others.  I cannot find the words.  I am ready to fly to PA to protect our team, although I have no idea how that would work (and the last thing I want to do is get on a plane).

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2 hours ago, bilgistic said:

Y'all, I'm just at a complete loss over this situation with my parents. Here's the text conversation between my mother and me.

Bilgistic, I'm so sorry you're going through this.  This is unfortunately so common now.  People don't think these things through and it sounds like where they live isn't helping either.   I can imagine how worried you are about them.  I'm at a loss too with all of these situations.  I wish I could offer some help.  Someone on TV likened it to watching a slow motion train wreck and being unable to stop it from happening.  All I can do I offer my prayers for them.  I am praying for so many people right now it's almost overwhelming.

Yesterday I got an email from my realtor, who is preparing to (finally) list my father's apartment in the Bronx.  He told me he has been experiencing "flu-like symptoms" and was getting tested for Covid.  I am praying now that it's only the flu and not Covid.  He is in his early 40s and in good health but I worry about him anyway.  He says the apartment should be listed by the end of today and someone from his team is already supposed to be showing it tomorrow, so hopefully this won't delay things for me.  I don't need any more delays - the pandemic has already delayed me by months and I have to pay $1,000 a month to support that place in terms of maintenance and taxes - $1,000 that in a few months I won't have because my father didn't leave that much money.  And of course I'm unemployed and my husband hasn't had a real income since the pandemic either.  Both of us will lose our unemployment benefits at the end of the year - I have already exhausted my extensions.  We can only pray that a new stimulus package gets pushed through before then or the apartment sells or I don't know what we'll do.

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4 hours ago, bilgistic said:

Y'all, I'm just at a complete loss over this situation with my parents. Here's the text conversation between my mother and me.

My only contribution is to say that you can't be the world's caretaker.  We all have to learn that there are things outside of our control, and the stress from trying to control those things will cause more harm than good.

Your family does not look at things as you do, and apparently, no amount of hand wringing or trying to convince them is going to change that.  Might be time to let it go.  I know it's hard.

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2 hours ago, SuprSuprElevated said:

My only contribution is to say that you can't be the world's caretaker.  We all have to learn that there are things outside of our control, and the stress from trying to control those things will cause more harm than good.

Your family does not look at things as you do, and apparently, no amount of hand wringing or trying to convince them is going to change that.  Might be time to let it go.  I know it's hard.

I know. It's hard to set boundaries, and I had to over Labor Day, literally telling my mother I wouldn't see her because of the risks she was taking. Instead of taking that as a lesson in changing her behavior so she could see me, her first-born, she continued to be wild. That hurts.

I spent my childhood literally taking care of my sisters and being my mother's amateur psychologist and sounding board (and mediator between my father and mother). It took me years to realize how unhealthy and damaging it all was for me. I have to release myself from that role in my adulthood (I'm 46!), but these patterns seem baked in. Mom just called me to update me on how things are in Georgia and ask me what phase NC is in. Like, you have a computer and iPhone. I appreciate that she knows I'm knowledgeable/that I stay informed but she didn't care to take heed of the information I've been sharing so far to make smart decisions, so really, what is the point? It's just me doing more emotional labor.

I knew this was coming. I knew that they would be dealing with a possible infection. It sucks, but this was avoidable. Which we can expand to include the nation. So much of this nightmare was avoidable.

Edited by bilgistic
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13 hours ago, bilgistic said:

Y'all, I'm just at a complete loss over this situation with my parents. Here's the text conversation between my mother and me.

I really feel for you. My advice would be to not push her to get tested if she’s not having symptoms. I understand why you are but, realistically, if she listens to you there is a good chance it will backfire if/when the test comes back negative. In my experience people see a negative test as an all clear sign giving them permission to ignore other symptoms. People really have no clue how testing works and the virus works. 
 

Edited by Dani
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I live in a fairly rural area, and the cases are really rising. I'm knowing more people with it. I usually spend time with extended family on Thanksgiving(a cousin got covid), but it's just me and my parents at home this year. 

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My dad's test was negative and he's not having symptoms (yet?). I want to tell him to take another test in a few days since an early test after exposure can be negative, but I know he won't, just like my mom won't take a test. I can only hope they weren't really exposed to my dad's boss...and/or the person to whom the boss was exposed. It seems likely to me that my dad was exposed in working in a small store with what seems to be people who aren't following guidelines, but there's literally nothing I can do.

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One of our quarantined colleagues has covid.  He is young, but he got hit fairly hard.  Unfortunately no need to go to the hospital.  He was feeling better when it hit again.  He is staying in a friend's basement.  His friend's mom is cooking for him and helping as much as she can.  They are also checking on him every few hours to make sure he hasn't gotten worse.  

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I just wanted to wish everyone as happy a Thanksgiving as they can have this year.  Mr. Yeah No and I are staying home and I'm making a bone-in turkey breast with all the fixin's.

I will admit I'm not very happy after speaking with Mr. Yeah No's sister this morning.  She had said they were staying home and face timing with their kids but now suddenly their two 30 something year old sons (one of whom works in a hospital and has already had Covid) are coming over and they're all going over to her friend's house who is married to her husband's brother.  One of the sons is bringing his girlfriend.  Supposedly everyone has been tested, but as we all know from the infographic I posted a page or so ago about not being "like Casey", this is not necessarily a foolproof thing.  We all should know by now how inaccurate the tests can be, especially if you're asymptomatic at the time of testing.  Plus the people they're visiting work in essential occupations with the public and have a 30 year old son that will be coming as well.  I hate to say this but neither of them are the brightest bulbs on the tree, so I wouldn't trust them to be so diligent about their Covid status.  They are likely the very people who THINK they're being careful and are not.  Up until recently these people have been living in a relatively Covid light area, but all that has changed in the past few weeks and I don't think they've woken up to that fact.

In addition to that, my brother in law is 68 years old and is in the middle of chemotherapy for pancreatic cancer.  On top of that he is a type 2 diabetic.  If he catches Covid, I fear he won't make it.  For them to be doing this is absolutely insane.  I am praying that they don't get the shock of their lives in a week or two.  I don't need to worry about them on top of my best friend who I already posted is also taking risks.  She is also a type 2 diabetic and is 62 years old.

And regarding my realtor, he still hasn't gotten his Covid test results, so I am still worried about him too.

At this point I am just thankful for having the sense to not be like so many people this Thanksgiving who are taking unnecessary risks.  This is NOT the time to get together indoors with friends and family.  I just pray they don't regret it.

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4 hours ago, Yeah No said:

At this point I am just thankful for having the sense to not be like so many people this Thanksgiving who are taking unnecessary risks.  This is NOT the time to get together indoors with friends and family.  I just pray they don't regret it.

I really don't understand people's thinking. Yes, it's an important holiday, & you want to spend it with family & friends. Do you want this to be the last time you see some of these family & friends? All it takes is one person who has covid & is still testing negative & the next time you see some of these family & friends is when you go to their funeral. There is absolutely no reason you can't just postpone Thanksgiving. Have it in March, or July, or whatever month happens after you get the vaccine, the world won't end just because you delayed celebrating Thanksgiving. 

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4 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I just wanted to wish everyone as happy a Thanksgiving as they can have this year.  Mr. Yeah No and I are staying home and I'm making a bone-in turkey breast with all the fixin's.

I will admit I'm not very happy after speaking with Mr. Yeah No's sister this morning.  She had said they were staying home and face timing with their kids but now suddenly their two 30 something year old sons (one of whom works in a hospital and has already had Covid) are coming over and they're all going over to her friend's house who is married to her husband's brother.  One of the sons is bringing his girlfriend.  Supposedly everyone has been tested, but as we all know from the infographic I posted a page or so ago about not being "like Casey", this is not necessarily a foolproof thing.  We all should know by now how inaccurate the tests can be, especially if you're asymptomatic at the time of testing.  Plus the people they're visiting work in essential occupations with the public and have a 30 year old son that will be coming as well.  I hate to say this but neither of them are the brightest bulbs on the tree, so I wouldn't trust them to be so diligent about their Covid status.  They are likely the very people who THINK they're being careful and are not.  Up until recently these people have been living in a relatively Covid light area, but all that has changed in the past few weeks and I don't think they've woken up to that fact.

In addition to that, my brother in law is 68 years old and is in the middle of chemotherapy for pancreatic cancer.  On top of that he is a type 2 diabetic.  If he catches Covid, I fear he won't make it.  For them to be doing this is absolutely insane.  I am praying that they don't get the shock of their lives in a week or two.  I don't need to worry about them on top of my best friend who I already posted is also taking risks.  She is also a type 2 diabetic and is 62 years old.

And regarding my realtor, he still hasn't gotten his Covid test results, so I am still worried about him too.

At this point I am just thankful for having the sense to not be like so many people this Thanksgiving who are taking unnecessary risks.  This is NOT the time to get together indoors with friends and family.  I just pray they don't regret it.

Do I understand correctly that the brother-in-law with PC is going? There’s not an oncologist on the planet that would o.k. that. 
Too stupid for words. 
I’m glad that you get the big picture in a family that’s not living in reality. Unless they are looking at it’ll be his last thanksgiving like so many are saying about seniors. Gives me chills 

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2 hours ago, athousandclowns said:
6 hours ago, Yeah No said:

In addition to that, my brother in law is 68 years old and is in the middle of chemotherapy for pancreatic cancer.  On top of that he is a type 2 diabetic.  If he catches Covid, I fear he won't make it. 

Do I understand correctly that the brother-in-law with PC is going? There’s not an oncologist on the planet that would o.k. that. 

This is one instance where I can relate. If my cancer returned, I might choose to not try to put off the inevitable. 

However, if thinking clearly, I would not attend, even if I had only months to live, because it would be selfish and potentially cruel to the healthcare workers who would have to care for me (and for their families) if I became infected, which is exponentially more likely with a chemotherapy-compromised immune system. 

However, if I did (selfishly or unthinkingly) choose to partake in such an event, I hope I would have presence of mind to not go to another event until I had isolated for 2 weeks and tested negative. 

“Chemo brain” is a real thing, so my same inability to gage my car’s maneuverability when trying to back out of the garage around the lawn maintenance truck (which 5 years post-chemo I would never attempt) may be driving your brother-in-law’s poor decision making, @Yeah No. 😟

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My boyfriend's sister had nasal cancer and is in recovery post-chemo and radiation. She wants us to come down for Christmas. She lives in the Wilmington, NC, area, as do my boyfriend's parents. All of them have been staying at home, so their risk is low, but I worry about our exposing his sister to any various ailments because of her basically absent immunity right now. I hardly ever leave the apartment, but my boyfriend is a delivery driver for a commercial and industrial supply company.

That's all possibly moot because my boyfriend is feeling more tired than usual and is considering going tomorrow to get tested for coronavirus. He doesn't have a fever so far. But if he has coronavirus, I have it.

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Since this all started, I feel like people confuse "want to do XYZ" with "have to do XYZ".

They want to travel on a plane and meet many people but interpret it as have to travel on a plane and meet many people. Otherwise, I am out of explanations.

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I knew people were going to ignore the requests to not go visit other people's houses for Thanksgiving but it was still depressing to see the extra cars in my neighborhood.  I guess it could have been worse as in there were only a few extra cars in the houses where there were extra cars but still, sad. 

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6 hours ago, athousandclowns said:

Do I understand correctly that the brother-in-law with PC is going? There’s not an oncologist on the planet that would o.k. that. 
Too stupid for words. 
I’m glad that you get the big picture in a family that’s not living in reality. Unless they are looking at it’ll be his last thanksgiving like so many are saying about seniors. Gives me chills 

Yes, the BIL with PC went to this gathering.  He's never had a full deck IMHO (think of a deaf almost Rain Man-like character and I'm not kidding).  He's kind of an idiot savant.  He had a great job for IBM for many years but his wife has always been somewhat of his caretaker.  Her choice, BTW, which she does regret, but that's another story.  If you've ever watched the movie "Office Space" that guy that the boss puts down in the basement who eventually sets the building on fire looks and acts a lot like him - so much so we almost thought the movie based the character on him!

But even though he has PC they caught it very early and he was given excellent odds of recovery.  The only reason they found it so early is because the tumor was pushing into his bile duct making him feel symptoms similar to gallstones.  So there was no reason to think that this might be his last Thanksgiving, at least not unless they were being extremely pessimistic.  The guy is 68, not 88. 

My SIL has been living in a sheltered little dream world in an area with a relatively low number of cases for a long time.  But like everywhere else now those numbers are going up a lot.  She's not someone that ignores the news, so I don't get it.  She should know better, especially since one of her sons works in a hospital around Covid patients and got Covid over the summer.  And she should know better than to trust her friend and brother in law because they're not people I would trust with MY life or my husband's life.  She thinks that because she hasn't gotten it yet she might be immune - I'm not making this up.  She knows she hasn't been playing it that safe and thinks that with all she's gotten away with maybe she's just immune to it.  Seriously, you can't make this up!  My husband rolls his eyes and doesn't say anything to her because he never challenges her about anything - something about their dysfunctional family dynamics.  I also keep my mouth shut because I don't want to get involved - I did that once before in a different situation with her and regretted it.  I give up with these people!  It's sad.

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Went to my parents' for dinner; my brother didn't come, because he hasn't been feeling well all week. My mom said she thought it sounded like allergies, but he got a covid test yesterday and probably won't get the results until the weekend. We talked to him on zoom for a little bit and he was coughing some (though it didn't sound like a dry cough) but said he hasn't had a fever. Sounds like he at least has a cold. Fingers crossed that's all it is. He works from home full time now so his primary potential for exposure would be while doing errands and whatnot.

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13 hours ago, Yeah No said:

If you've ever watched the movie "Office Space" that guy that the boss puts down in the basement who eventually sets the building on fire looks and acts a lot like him - so much so we almost thought the movie based the character on him!

giphy.gif

Went nowhere yesterday -- sat at home as usual and enjoyed a take-out Thanksgiving meal prepared by a local restaurant. I did talk to my mother in NC. She and her husband both had some symptoms and were tested. Both negative. Turns out they have sinus infections. Anyway, my mother, who is 81, cried when telling me she really wants to hug my brother but he won't come in the house and pets her on the head "like a puppy" when he comes over to deliver things (masked) for her. She doesn't understand why people won't wear masks so this shit will end. She got so mad the other week when she was at the IGA grocery store down there (that doesn't require masks to shop) that she coughed on the people who weren't wearing one. She said it was a good way to get them out of her way.  

giphy.gif

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1 hour ago, Giant Misfit said:

She got so mad the other week when she was at the IGA grocery store down there (that doesn't require masks to shop) that she coughed on the people who weren't wearing one.

Well, if she was masked at the time, it wouldn't probably do much harm, and if she wasn't masked, then...

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15 hours ago, ams1001 said:

Sounds like he at least has a cold. Fingers crossed that's all it is.

Don't colds travel the same way COVID does?  If I get a cold, I'm going to take it as a stern warning that whatever I'm doing to avoid COVID isn't enough.

 

22 hours ago, GaT said:

I really don't understand people's thinking. Yes, it's an important holiday, & you want to spend it with family & friends. Do you want this to be the last time you see some of these family & friends? All it takes is one person who has covid & is still testing negative & the next time you see some of these family & friends is when you go to their funeral. There is absolutely no reason you can't just postpone Thanksgiving. Have it in March, or July, or whatever month happens after you get the vaccine, the world won't end just because you delayed celebrating Thanksgiving. 

I completely agree with you, but I spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about why people do the things they do.  And they hear warnings that Thanksgiving gathering could kill grandma, but it's far far far more likely that the Thanksgiving gathering won't kill grandma.  That's just the numbers. 

The family in Arlington, Texas, that had a birthday party a few weeks ago--12 people were there, and ALL of them later tested positive.   But nobody died and only one went to the hospital.  They're doing a PSA campaign asking people not to be like them, and of course nobody wants a family member to go to the hospital, but it's entirely possible and even understandable for people to put more credence in a 12-person party that infected everyone and nobody died than general warnings about killing grandma. 

 

15 hours ago, Yeah No said:

She thinks that because she hasn't gotten it yet she might be immune - I'm not making this up.  She knows she hasn't been playing it that safe and thinks that with all she's gotten away with maybe she's just immune to it.  Seriously, you can't make this up! 

Does she think she's naturally immune?  It's not impossible that some people are.  This thing acts in some peculiar ways.

Or does she think she's had it already and didn't know it, and can't get it again?  It appears there are millions of people who have had it and never got a test and never knew, and among those who did know, only a very very very few have been reported to have gotten it twice.

As far as I know, I haven't gotten it, and I attribute that to the measures I've taken to avoid it.  She could be looking at it similarly--that she hasn't gotten it despite not taking measures, and there must be a reason for that. 

 

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19 hours ago, Irlandesa said:

I knew people were going to ignore the requests to not go visit other people's houses for Thanksgiving but it was still depressing to see the extra cars in my neighborhood.  I guess it could have been worse as in there were only a few extra cars in the houses where there were extra cars but still, sad. 

My experience with the people I've spoken to today is...I think a lot of these people genuinely don't think they're ignoring the requests. They think they're complying. They say they're being "so careful" and "following recommendations", but then in the next breath mention that "only" grandma was there and "only" sister was there...with her husband...and toddler. I'm like "Do all those people live with you now?" Nope. They do not. So they're not your damn household and they came over. It's like it doesn't register. They think because they had 4 guests from 2 different households instead of the usual 20 guests that they're actually doing what was asked, even though the point was a huge amount of recent spread is because of small 4-6 person gatherings that have been happening all along.

I'm starting to think I need to just not talk to relatives anymore because I'm too frustrated hearing about the not-safe stuff they're doing while thinking that they're being "so careful".

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My boyfriend's going tomorrow to get tested—he made the appointment yesterday for the first available at the nearest CVS. He took two naps yesterday, which is basically unheard of, and a long one today. Here in NC, they don't let you take a test if you're asymptomatic, which is beyond stupid. You have to have knowingly been exposed or be a frontline/essential worker. He technically is the latter, as he does commercial delivery and they have been allowed to operate/remain open since day one.

His test result will dictate how I respond, i.e., if I get tested. I haven't left the apartment since the 15th when we went to Walmart wearing masks the whole time, so I theoretically wouldn't have infected anyone.

Edited by bilgistic
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I wound up only going down to the lake to join my parents in their motorhome yesterday morning through this morning, because their cat with cancer had a bad night Tuesday night and, while he's feeling a lot better, he'll also eat a lot better when someone's home with him.  No need for my parents to come home, too, so I'm just staying at their house (and going home for a few hours each day to be with my cat) and, assuming he keeps doing well, I can go home Saturday night as they'll be home early Sunday morning.

It was such a beautiful day there today, it was painful to leave.  But I got to have my Bloody Mary and sausage first.  And we had a nice Thanksgiving, and I'm glad my parents at least are getting to enjoy a proper week of camping.  Their section of the campground is very sparsely populated - there's no one within 50 yards of them, and it's so easy to never pass even within 10 feet of someone while walking (and on the two short walks I took, I never encountered anyone else at all).  It was the ideal way to enjoy a change of scenery yet still be safe.  Oh, well - it's a beautiful day at home, too, so I can just sit in the yard with the other cat to get my fresh air and sunshine.

Edited by Bastet
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6 hours ago, Giant Misfit said:

She got so mad the other week when she was at the IGA grocery store down there (that doesn't require masks to shop) that she coughed on the people who weren't wearing one.

There was a man  charged with assault for breathing on protesters recently.   Hopefully she got her frustrations out and won't repeat that, just in case!

Edited by Callietwo
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Whenever I have had to cough because of dry throat, I enjoy thinking: That will make them back off. 
 

I am so stressed about how I will travel from 30 miles north of Chicago to 20 miles past Rochester NY now that I have given a large security deposit on a rental near my soon-to-be pregnant daughter. Because of sciatica, I can’t sit for more than 10 minutes without pain, so driving myself is out of the question. My daughter says my son-in-law will drive both ways, but oy, that would be 20 hours for him, and would I have to wear Depends while lying down in the back seat? Just. No. 
Flying involves so many points of exposure before even getting on the plane, which led me to a list of things to say to a taxi driver who is not complying with mask rules, including—edited for brevity:

  • I like the anonymity. We’re the most surveilled country on earth. They’re listening to us through our phones to sell us shit. I don't wanna be watched.
  • I have COVID and I’m wearing a mask so that you don’t get it, and it’s so much easier to keep viruses out than to keep them in.

  • I work in the morgue. The mask is to protect you, not me.

The second one seems likely to leave me and my luggage by the side of the road on the tollway. 😟

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9 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

Don't colds travel the same way COVID does?  If I get a cold, I'm going to take it as a stern warning that whatever I'm doing to avoid COVID isn't enough.

Sort of. Viruses that cause the cold are more resilient than coronavirus. It survives longer on surfaces and is more resistant to sanitizers. The one good thing about coronavirus is that it is pretty easy to kill. Both are transmitted person to person but you are much more likely to get a cold from surfaces. You can be doing everything right to avoid COVID and still catch a cold. 

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My sister, who lives in the rural NC foothills and works in a restaurant, has pictures on Instagram of her attending a Thanksgiving gathering at a friend's house. There are at least 15 people in the pictures.🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

I guess that'll make contact tracing easier.

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12 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

Does she think she's naturally immune?  It's not impossible that some people are.  This thing acts in some peculiar ways.

Or does she think she's had it already and didn't know it, and can't get it again?  It appears there are millions of people who have had it and never got a test and never knew, and among those who did know, only a very very very few have been reported to have gotten it twice.

As far as I know, I haven't gotten it, and I attribute that to the measures I've taken to avoid it.  She could be looking at it similarly--that she hasn't gotten it despite not taking measures, and there must be a reason for that. 

She really has no clue.  She has been wearing masks and social distancing in public because it's mandatory, so at least in public she has been careful.  But like I explained above, she lives in an area that until now has had few cases.  The reason she thinks she might be immune is wishful thinking and only because she went over to a few friends' houses and them to hers all Summer and early Fall and nothing happened SO FAR.  But living in an area where there aren't many cases doesn't make you immune.  Plus now cases in her area are rising sharply as they have been everywhere else so that assumption is made on old information.

Plus I don't think anyone really knows if the measures they've taken have prevented them from getting the virus or if they just happen to have been lucky enough to not have gotten too close to anyone who has had it unless they know of a clear cut case of being in close proximity to someone who they knew was positive or later found out was positive at the time they were near them.  Unlike me, my SIL has not known of ANYONE in her area that has gotten the virus except one of her sons, who at the time worked in a hospital with Covid patients.  And she hadn't even seen him in person for well over a month at the time he got it because even she is not careless enough to get too close to him under those circumstances.  So she is FOS that she "should have gotten it by now".

Edited by Yeah No
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12 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

I completely agree with you, but I spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about why people do the things they do.  And they hear warnings that Thanksgiving gathering could kill grandma, but it's far far far more likely that the Thanksgiving gathering won't kill grandma.  That's just the numbers. 

Yeah, and drunk people that took dares playing Russian Roulette thought that too and ended up dead.  Should anyone play Russian Roulette with grandma's life just because they think the odds are against it?  And how do they really know what the odds are?  My SIL is working off outdated information.  She isn't paying attention to the drastically rising rates in her area plus the fact that the two people that invited her over work with the public and aren't the brightest bulbs on the tree.  Then of course are her two sons who are in the age bracket of people that aren't exactly in hibernation avoiding everyone.  One of those sons still works with Covid patients.  Even though he's already gotten the virus we don't really know if he can still get and spread it to others.  All of those things need to be factored in because they do raise the odds of the virus spreading when all of them are in one room at one time unmaksed and people just aren't doing that.

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My colleague has been admitted to the hospital with Covid.  His oxygen saturation dropped so low he was disoriented.  His friend's mom is keeping us informed of his status.  He's not in the ICU so hoping he turns a corner soon.  

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10 hours ago, Dani said:

Sort of. Viruses that cause the cold are more resilient than coronavirus. It survives longer on surfaces and is more resistant to sanitizers. The one good thing about coronavirus is that it is pretty easy to kill. Both are transmitted person to person but you are much more likely to get a cold from surfaces. You can be doing everything right to avoid COVID and still catch a cold. 

Good to know. I was feeling kind of sniffly with a scratchy throat yesterday afternoon but I think it was allergies (I went for a walk in the park for almost an hour; also my house is dry and dusty). Feeling mostly better today.

7 hours ago, Yeah No said:

The reason she thinks she might be immune is wishful thinking and only because she went over to a few friends' houses and them to hers all Summer and early Fall and nothing happened SO FAR.  But living in an area where there aren't many cases doesn't make you immune.  Plus now cases in her area are rising sharply as they have been everywhere else so that assumption is made on old information.

I read an article last week about that kind of thinking. Your Individually Rational Choice Is Collectively Disastrous

Quote

Every time you engage in a risky activity—like meeting up with your friends indoors—the world is likely to send you a signal that you made the right choice. I saw my pal and didn’t get sick. Clearly, I shouldn’t have worried so much about socializing! But that is just as wrong as thinking that jaywalking is safe because you haven’t yet been hit by a car.

 

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14 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

Whenever I have had to cough because of dry throat, I enjoy thinking: That will make them back off. 
 

I am so stressed about how I will travel from 30 miles north of Chicago to 20 miles past Rochester NY now that I have given a large security deposit on a rental near my soon-to-be pregnant daughter. Because of sciatica, I can’t sit for more than 10 minutes without pain, so driving myself is out of the question. My daughter says my son-in-law will drive both ways, but oy, that would be 20 hours for him, and would I have to wear Depends while lying down in the back seat? Just. No. 
Flying involves so many points of exposure before even getting on the plane, which led me to a list of things to say to a taxi driver who is not complying with mask rules, including—edited for brevity:

  • I like the anonymity. We’re the most surveilled country on earth. They’re listening to us through our phones to sell us shit. I don't wanna be watched.
  • I have COVID and I’m wearing a mask so that you don’t get it, and it’s so much easier to keep viruses out than to keep them in.

  • I work in the morgue. The mask is to protect you, not me.

The second one seems likely to leave me and my luggage by the side of the road on the tollway. 😟

I've flown several times and have felt safe. If you can't drive, then fly but do so, smartly.

Fly Delta (they are blocking middle seats until 2021), require masks on board and in the boarding area. If you can afford to, book the aisle and window seat so you have the row to yourself.

The air coming out of the vents is directly out of the HEPA filter. I'm sure I've posted links to articles in this thread but they are easily to find in Google.
At the airport, people were good about social distancing in line (I also have TSA Pre-Check and you only lowered your mask for a moment for TSA to see you are who you are on your ID. TSA is masked. Once in the boarding area (again, Delta requires masks in the boarding area, too).

Just remember how it's transmitted. There's no need for Depends (unless you utilize them already). If you go into a restroom, masked, and don't lick anything, chances of contracting it are slim. You'd have to be in the exact wrong place at the wrong time.

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11 minutes ago, theredhead77 said:

Fly Delta (they are blocking middle seats until 2021), require masks on board and in the boarding area

I thought "Surely to god masks are required the entire time you are in the airport?"  Turns out, they aren't.  I'm glad I'm in Canada. 

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48 minutes ago, Quof said:

I thought "Surely to god masks are required the entire time you are in the airport?"  Turns out, they aren't.  I'm glad I'm in Canada. 

It's extra fun here in hell (Georgia). The governor refuses to implement a mask mandate. The city of Atlanta, which is where the airport is, has one which means the airport is supposed to have one but it's over-written by the governors "we won't require masks and ask that people do the right thing by wearing one'. Look at our numbers and you can see how well that is working out. I fucking hate Georgia and living in "the south". Bleh.

Thankfully, the two other times I have flown everyone was wearing a mask and keeping distance. I won't get on the sky train, instead I opt to walk between terminals. I want to get a shirt that says "mask the fuck up or back the fuck up".

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I give up. 

My mother, who is a senior citizen with actual health conditions in addition to her hypochondria, has been going into her local grocery store as usual since March.  I explained to her that she could pick up her groceries, curbside, at that exact store. The chain has even waived the fee (which is only $3) since March.   "Maybe I'll try that,"  she said months ago.   When I was at her house last month, she told me she hadn't tried it yet.  So I got her set up with an online account and walked her through the process of creating an order. Today she tells me she "might" do it for the first time this week.  

She lives in an area with rising cases, and increasing restrictions, including two household bubbles.  She has decided her neighbour is in her bubble.   My uncle is also in her bubble.  (Sounds like 3 households to me)  But they both have a couple of adult children, and grandchildren, so they are each already bubbling with at least 2 other households.  She doesn't think that counts, since she isn't "in contact" with those other people.   

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52 minutes ago, Quof said:

My mother, who is a senior citizen with actual health conditions in addition to her hypochondria, has been going into her local grocery store as usual since March.  I explained to her that she could pick up her groceries, curbside, at that exact store. The chain has even waived the fee (which is only $3) since March.   "Maybe I'll try that,"  she said months ago.   When I was at her house last month, she told me she hadn't tried it yet.  So I got her set up with an online account and walked her through the process of creating an order. Today she tells me she "might" do it for the first time this week. 

My dad goes to the store 3-4 times a week. It's his "outing" and no amount of begging or explaining about curb side pick-up made a difference. He spent his entire life hating having people over, hated going out, always wanted to stay home and now... now he has to go to the damn store multiple times a week. I told my mom to tell him he has to limit his trips during the next 2 weeks, before I go out there. To tell him I'm not planning on doing anything, going anywhere until I go to the airport where I'll put on a mask in my car after I park and won't take it off until I am in my mom's car when she picks me up.

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You know the saying whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas? Well, my slogan should be whatever happens in CT happens only in CT. 

I could tell you a lot of stories at Mohegan Sun. For my experience there before the pandemic, none of it affected my parents, but I seem to be a part of it. I remembered when an old woman with her purse out barraged into me without looking and the force of her made me fall flat on my body. My parents were a couple of paces away just looking at a slot machine and thinking what slot to play with. All I remember was the old woman asking if I was okay and her own husband walking away from th scene. I did say I was fine and it's okay, even though she was at fault. I just felt the wind knocked out of me. The irony is that my parents were not aware of it and asked me which slot to play. So I chosen the old WOF slot and won a jackpot. I think the slogan at Mohegan Sun should be get hit by someone who is in a hurry and win big at the present moment. Kidding! But I think everything that happens to me at this casino only happens to me only. How funny is that!

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On 11/26/2020 at 6:12 PM, Yeah No said:

Yes, the BIL with PC went to this gathering.  He's never had a full deck IMHO (think of a deaf almost Rain Man-like character and I'm not kidding).  He's kind of an idiot savant.  He had a great job for IBM for many years but his wife has always been somewhat of his caretaker.  Her choice, BTW, which she does regret, but that's another story.  If you've ever watched the movie "Office Space" that guy that the boss puts down in the basement who eventually sets the building on fire looks and acts a lot like him - so much so we almost thought the movie based the character on him!

But even though he has PC they caught it very early and he was given excellent odds of recovery.  The only reason they found it so early is because the tumor was pushing into his bile duct making him feel symptoms similar to gallstones.  So there was no reason to think that this might be his last Thanksgiving, at least not unless they were being extremely pessimistic.  The guy is 68, not 88. 

My SIL has been living in a sheltered little dream world in an area with a relatively low number of cases for a long time.  But like everywhere else now those numbers are going up a lot.  She's not someone that ignores the news, so I don't get it.  She should know better, especially since one of her sons works in a hospital around Covid patients and got Covid over the summer.  And she should know better than to trust her friend and brother in law because they're not people I would trust with MY life or my husband's life.  She thinks that because she hasn't gotten it yet she might be immune - I'm not making this up.  She knows she hasn't been playing it that safe and thinks that with all she's gotten away with maybe she's just immune to it.  Seriously, you can't make this up!  My husband rolls his eyes and doesn't say anything to her because he never challenges her about anything - something about their dysfunctional family dynamics.  I also keep my mouth shut because I don't want to get involved - I did that once before in a different situation with her and regretted it.  I give up with these people!  It's sad.

Hope he remains well , my husband was 68 when he died of pancreatic cancer. Steve Jobs surgeon, Stanford,  City of Hope 
That is why I’m so frightened about my grown son who has Crohn’s and had chemo for it in the past.  I think the combination of me telling him that his family might  bounce back but it wouldn’t be the case with him , and being an introvert resulted in him staying home happily watching football and having a take out meal with me. 
My best friend just texted that the shop where he works is going back to 10%..( as is our city)  I don’t understand the crowd thing has to be just 100 people.  For what? Concerts? The ballet? 
I needed something like a large Christmas gift bag for a toy the other day , I got dressed to go 3 blocks to Walgreens and sat back down and ordered from Big Lots I think.   I’ve used drive through to pick up meds and then this last month had them mail it to me. Have gone into Walgreens for a Cherry Garcia addiction .Depends on how alarmed I am that day.   HATE living like this.   I’m a big Christmas decorator but don’t think I’ll even put up a small tree.   Guess I can use my remote to turn candles on in the fireplace. 

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5 hours ago, athousandclowns said:

 I’m a big Christmas decorator but don’t think I’ll even put up a small tree. 

It’s interesting how people react so differently to this.  

Neither my sister nor I have bothered to put trees up the last few years; both for differing reasons, but we’ve also both decided we NEED to decorate and especially put up our trees this year. 

I’ve gone a little Christmas happy the last two days and my husband is twitchy with all the nutcrackers and Santa’s “looking at him”, LOL  

I feel like if you an find the energy, do it for you!  You are worth having nice things around you! 
 

 

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On 11/28/2020 at 9:59 AM, ams1001 said:

I read an article last week about that kind of thinking. Your Individually Rational Choice Is Collectively Disastrous

Thanks, that was a great article and a lot like what I've been saying for months now.  Some people don't appreciate how their actions can have long range and wide reaching effects on others as a group.  It's not just about you not getting the virus but you not getting it and then spreading it.  You have to think about someone other than yourself and I know how hard that is for some people.

On 11/28/2020 at 1:28 PM, theredhead77 said:

I've flown several times and have felt safe. If you can't drive, then fly but do so, smartly.

Fly Delta (they are blocking middle seats until 2021), require masks on board and in the boarding area. If you can afford to, book the aisle and window seat so you have the row to yourself.

The air coming out of the vents is directly out of the HEPA filter. I'm sure I've posted links to articles in this thread but they are easily to find in Google.
At the airport, people were good about social distancing in line (I also have TSA Pre-Check and you only lowered your mask for a moment for TSA to see you are who you are on your ID. TSA is masked. Once in the boarding area (again, Delta requires masks in the boarding area, too).

Is it true that the air coming out of the vents doesn't go past someone else before it gets to you?  Because although it may come out of the vents directly from a HEPA filter what if it is directed at the row in front of you and then comes toward you?  I say this because first of all, people sit so close together on commercial flights that the row in front of you is very close, and if the air is blowing from them to you, that's an issue as far as I'm concerned.  I say that because of experience.  I caught the worst flu of my life coming back from London in 1984.  My family didn't sit together to save money so I was the only one in that row.  The man in front of me was coughing and blowing his nose the whole way home.  I knew I was a sitting duck.  A few days later I was burning up with fever over 103 degrees.  I was delirious and so sick I missed two weeks of work.  And I was only 26 years old.   Granted, the rules now make you wear a mask, but this virus spreads so much easier than the flu that I'd still be worried about that.

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