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COVID-19: Personal Stories

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17 minutes ago, ams1001 said:

So today is my godson’s 6th birthday. They’re having a party, outside, about 12-14 people (it's just her family, and 8 of them live in her house, plus her uncle and her brother and his wife and 2 kids). I never actually told my friend if I was going to come or not…I hate that it’s even something I have to question. How long until we don’t have to worry about whether it’s safe to go have some cake in the backyard? 😞

(For what it's worth, the NJ covid page on gatherings, which says it was updated three days ago, says "General outdoor gatherings must be limited to 500 people and social distancing must be practiced.")

For 500 to be okay and 550 to not be okay, is just further proof that much of the country must have significant levels of lead in the water system.

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37 minutes ago, SuprSuprElevated said:

For 500 to be okay and 550 to not be okay, is just further proof that much of the country must have significant levels of lead in the water system.

Yeah, I have no idea how they decide what number is okay.

For Indoor it says 

  • General indoor gatherings must be limited to 25 people or 25% of a room's capacity -- whichever number is lower. All attendees at indoor gatherings must wear face coverings and stay six feet apart.
  • Indoor gatherings for weddings, funerals, or memorial services must be limited to 150 people or 25% of a room's capacity -- whichever number is lower.
  • Indoor gatherings for religious and political activities protected under the First Amendment must be limited to 150 people or 25% of a room's capacity -- whichever number is lower.
  • Indoor gatherings for entertainment centers where performances are viewed or given, including movie theaters, performing arts centers, and other concert venues, must be limited to 150 people or 25% of a room's capacity -- whichever number is lower.

I'm thinking of just stopping by to bring his present but not staying long. Gonna text her first to make sure they're still outside. It's kind of cloudy and high temp for today is mid 60s.

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14 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I'm having a hard time dealing with hearing about all the surging cases in certain parts of the country.  My heart breaks to hear the predictions of all the deaths to come to add to all the deaths that have already happened.  I burst into tears today to see clips on TV of people in certain states sitting in bars not social distancing or wearing masks - some of them older.  I am not the kind of person that can live in a little bubble and not be intensely emotionally affected by what I'm seeing going on out there.

There is now a proper term for this, and its called "doomscrolling". May I gently suggest for your mental health that you give yourself a day or more break from any sort of news? You can't control what other people are doing but you can mitigate the emotional effects on yourself by taking a long hiatus from hearing about them. I find that making a list of things I am grateful for in my life is a marvelous anecdote to the pervasive negativity of our current times.

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4 hours ago, isalicat said:

May I gently suggest for your mental health that you give yourself a day or more break from any sort of news? You can't control what other people are doing but you can mitigate the emotional effects on yourself by taking a long hiatus from hearing about them. 

I agree with this idea.  

I've recently removed any news sources I had on social media, snoozed anyone posting C-19 or Election related content.  When anything comes into my email that is related to either, I unsubscribe to that newsletter or whatever. 

I know it's not going to change the realities of the situations, but I'm now able to sleep at night and my anxiety levels have drop significantly.  (Election-wise, I've already voted so not  having to listen to any of it for the next few weeks won't change anything)

 

Edited by Callietwo · Reason: spelling
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I still keep tabs on the news, but I balance it. I'll stay up to date on that stuff during the day so I know what's going on and whatnot, and then shut down reading any of it fairly early on in the evening. Allows me to take a little time to clear my head and lets me sleep a little better. 

And I have very little social media presence as it is-I have a Facebook account, but I haven't been there in years, and I'm not on Twitter or Tumblr or anything. At most I occasionally read links from there if anyone shares them. So that helps me, too. 

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Just as I suspected, my school just had its second Covid outbreak after barely a month since the last one. Back to online learning we go! This back-and-forth has been happening with schools all over our state, mind you.

And this back and forth is beyond ridiculous...the so-called “experts” keep talking about how important it is that kids are in school learning and gaining their social skills, but at what cost? The constant upheaval of learning is no better, especially for special education students like mine who thrive on stability and a consistent schedule. Like just when I’d finally gotten my class on a good daily online learning routine, we had to go back to school...only to get sent back home again not three weeks later.
 

Sorry to all the understandably overwhelmed parents out there, but we need to just keep the kids on online learning until a vaccine is finally developed. Meanwhile, I’m secretly thrilled; the less time I’m exposed to germy students right now, the better!

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Just saw this shared by my uncle.

Quote

 

So the government is encouraging you to report your neighbors if they don’t follow the new rule of gathering numbers. Before following this advice you should really consider the fact that the government won’t be there to help you jump start your car or lend you tools or a cup of sugar if you need it. They won’t be an extra set of eyes to watch over your property if you are away. They won’t keep an eye on your kids if they are playing in the street and someone strange is hanging around. We need each other, it’s how we get by and live in peace, because at the end of the day, the government won’t be standing on your door step to help you out when this gets real.

Love thy neighbor and mind your own damn business if it's not affecting you.

 

This attitude  is not helpful and is what will keep us in this position. Spreader events DO affect other people. And does the author of this dumb thing think the awesome neighbors will just vanish from the neighborhood and no longer be able to do this litany of neighborly things? if the authorities break up a rule-violating party? Fucking stupid. I feel like these fools are just letting the rest of us do the heavy lifting for them in this whole shit-show.

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Virtually every other country in the world has had a better, more organized governmental response to the pandemic. Is your uncle saying the government's suddenly going to enforce guidelines? Hardly.

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Same uncle who posted that teachers and parents should just chill about schools reopening, citing that he too is a teacher and it's easy and safe and perfectly fine. He teaches automotive stuff at a tech school for adults. Oh, and has no kids.

Edited by TattleTeeny
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7 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:
Quote

We need each other, it’s how we get by and live in peace, because at the end of the day, the government won’t be standing on your door step to help you out when this gets real.

This attitude  is not helpful and is what will keep us in this position. Spreader events DO affect other people. And does the author of this dumb thing think the awesome neighbors will just vanish from the neighborhood and no longer be able to do this litany of neighborly things? if the authorities break up a rule-violating party?

No.  I noticed the "when this gets real" part.  I think the author is saying that the neighbors will know who the snitch was, and when society breaks down ("this gets real"), the government isn't going to help the snitch and the neighbors won't either, as retribution.

 

8 hours ago, Sun-Bun said:

Sorry to all the understandably overwhelmed parents out there, but we need to just keep the kids on online learning until a vaccine is finally developed.

But it's not just overwhelmed parents.  There are (too many) kids out there for whom school is a place to get a regular meal, and where they can be observed by adults looking for signs of problems at home.  Not to mention that if I were in school and online-only were the only option, I'd have to drop out because I don't have enough internet; a lot of people don't even realize that not everyone has boss internet. 

This virus is unspeakably devilish because there's no approach that will satisfyingly address all the issues.  Keep kids in school, and it endangers kids and adults.  Have online-only school, and it endangers kids in a different way.   Close everything and destroy the economy.  Make no concessions to the virus and just accept the number of deaths that will happen. 

Lots of nuances, and one thing I've learned is that people, and Americans in particular, don't deal well with nuances.  Hell, we can't even understand mask-over-the-nose, and that's not nuanced at all

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6 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

This virus is unspeakably devilish because there's no approach that will satisfyingly address all the issues.  Keep kids in school, and it endangers kids and adults.  Have online-only school, and it endangers kids in a different way.   Close everything and destroy the economy.  Make no concessions to the virus and just accept the number of deaths that will happen. 

Lots of nuances, and one thing I've learned is that people, and Americans in particular, don't deal well with nuances.  Hell, we can't even understand mask-over-the-nose, and that's not nuanced at all

As a student of ethics many years ago at Fordham University, I was taught how to prioritize things when there are no magical "win-win" situations, and also those that we called "desert island situations", meaning they are clear-cut in terms of good vs. evil.  Sometimes it's valid to see the right action as the one that achieves the greatest good for the greatest number of people, and I think we are in one of those situations right now.  Sometimes even figuring that out is difficult and opinions on what that is will differ.  Clearly everything we do affects everyone else.  We can't just see ourselves as cut off from everyone else and do whatever we want without concern for what our actions will do to everyone else.  That's part of living in a civilized society, IMO.  If that means self-sacrifice, that's what it means, in my opinion.  Our society these days doesn't really put a big emphasis on self-sacrifice, so we're having trouble seeing that as a better option than risking causing others grave harm.  It actually boggles my mind because first of all, I was raised to see self-sacrifice as a better alternative in such situations, and secondly I was taught as a Philosophy major in ethics how to reason these situations out to see that as a better option.  I also don't think it's selfish to expect others to see the value in taking on self-sacrifice to benefit the greater whole, either.  Not when people's lives may depend on it.  If that means kids don't get to go to school and suffer because of it, maybe that's a better alternative than for them to risk causing grave harm to their teachers and families and hence the greater society beyond.  It's all about weighing the relative effects of different actions and the priorities, IMO.  No one wants to see anyone have to make sacrifices, especially children, but we're all going to have to do it, and for me, the highest priority is protecting human life over any other consideration.  Maslow's hierarchy - survival needs are primary.  If what someone does endangers someone else's primary need for survival, well, they just have to stop doing whatever it is that's endangering it, whether that's good for them in the long run or not.  It really is as simple as that as far as I'm concerned.

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40 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

This virus is unspeakably devilish because there's no approach that will satisfyingly address all the issues

15 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

Sometimes even figuring that out is difficult and opinions on what that is will differ

Yes and yes, and this is very stressful—the not knowing right from wrong in so many everyday instances. 

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On Sunday, I walked into the entryway to discover my uncle, my brother, an older technician my grandfather knows, and my 92 year old grandfather all standing around a ladder and not a single one of them was wearing a mask. And my grandfather also has a cleaning lady coming tomorrow and she wasn't wearing a mask last week either when she came to clean and I doubt she will be wearing one tomorrow. And it's like no one seems to care. We're in a red zone and we're not even supposed to be mingling with people outside of our home address. I'm so tired of being the only one who cares. My uncle is another one of these idiots who thinks this is just a flu and no way is he getting a vaccine because he's not going to let anyone microchip him. Also, only old people die from this and in Quebec only 6000 people have died and most of them were old so it doesn't count. And he never wears a mask around his father. I just can't anymore. 

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Today I spent 5 hours in the local ER (for an ortho issue, not illness) - 2 hours in a crowded waiting room, then 3 in a treatment room (with only a curtain between us and the next room & between us and the hallway).  I feel like I should avail myself of a Covid test in the near future, but don’t know how long to wait.  Any suggestions?  Presuming/hoping no symptoms occur and make the decision for me.

 

Other than someone pushing a Swiffer-type thing around the entrance area, in the entire time I was in the waiting room I never saw anyone wipe down armrests, doorknobs or tabletop surfaces.  I found that rather concerning.  I did see someone wiping the chair seats in the treatment room as we entered.

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4 hours ago, Mittengirl said:

Today I spent 5 hours in the local ER (for an ortho issue, not illness) - 2 hours in a crowded waiting room, then 3 in a treatment room (with only a curtain between us and the next room & between us and the hallway).  I feel like I should avail myself of a Covid test in the near future, but don’t know how long to wait.  Any suggestions?  Presuming/hoping no symptoms occur and make the decision for me.

I’ve read in a few places since it doesn’t show up immediately get tested around 5-6 days after you think you’ve been exposed.  Also quarantine yourself for 14 days.  

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8 hours ago, jewel21 said:

Also, only old people die from this and in Quebec only 6000 people have died and most of them were old so it doesn't count.

It amazes me (not in a good way) how many people apparently think that "old" people are just expendable. My parents are 76 and (almost) 81 and I'm not ready to toss them away just yet. They're like, "well, they would have died soon anyway" and I'm screaming (internally) "but most of them wouldn't have died just yet!" Are there really no older people in their lives that these folks care about? I want to ask them at what age do we just start throwing people out? Thankfully I have not heard this from anyone I know personally, but still. It's disturbing.

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14 minutes ago, ams1001 said:

It amazes me (not in a good way) how many people apparently think that "old" people are just expendable. My parents are 76 and (almost) 81 and I'm not ready to toss them away just yet. They're like, "well, they would have died soon anyway" and I'm screaming (internally) "but most of them wouldn't have died just yet!" Are there really no older people in their lives that these folks care about? I want to ask them at what age do we just start throwing people out? Thankfully I have not heard this from anyone I know personally, but still. It's disturbing.

I have ranted on other parts of this general forum about how the ageism in our society was manifesting itself in this kind of mentality toward older people regarding the pandemic.  I am shocked at how many younger people online just expect all of us over 60 to "stay at home" so that they can justify disregarding all the safety/protective measures and socialize in crowded bars and other places with no social conscience about it whatsoever.  Like we're just supposed to "fend for ourselves" and they have zero responsibility toward their elders.  I actually could have predicted this happening before the pandemic based on the general attitudes in our society that younger generations have been voicing toward older generations for about 10 years now. 

I have seen articles about several studies coming out through the CDC and elsewhere showing how the virus is being transmitted from younger to older generations - with direct contact tracing to prove how this is happening.  But despite this there is very little outcry from older people, many of whom are not paying attention or too busy apologizing for younger people and thus martyring themselves so that their children and grandchildren can "have a normal life".  I'm sorry but it's not selfish of me to expect younger generations to care about older generations.  It's how I was raised to be.  I just don't understand how values have changed so much that we have such blatant disregard for older generations and those older generations accept the situation as if it's OK.  

At 62, I was already feeling invisible, expendable, and un-hire-able before the pandemic, but now I feel like my very life is in jeopardy, not just from the virus itself, but because of people's attitudes toward it.  I have had to tell people that we supposedly live in a civilized society, not one where we should just accept "survival of the fittest" as an OK philosophy.  It also amazes me how people don't see how their very finite lives impact the greater whole.  How their actions on a very minute level can impact someone else.  Or maybe they just don't care.  I knew our society's values were devolving more and more into subjectivism, but even I am shocked to see the extent to which people have abandoned any sense of social responsibility to anyone but themselves.

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My daughter told me yesterday that two of her friends (young teenagers) were admitted to our mental health facility yesterday.

I spoke with the school's psychologist a couple times this fall about my own children, and she told me that there is an enormous amount of children struggling emotionally and mentally right now. (Unsurprising.)

 

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2 hours ago, JTMacc99 said:

My daughter told me yesterday that two of her friends (young teenagers) were admitted to our mental health facility yesterday.

I spoke with the school's psychologist a couple times this fall about my own children, and she told me that there is an enormous amount of children struggling emotionally and mentally right now. (Unsurprising.)

 

This doesn’t surprise me at all. Society still seems to promote the idea that kids/teens are resilient and shouldn’t be such teacup pussies, but their feelings are all valid and need to be understood as well. Like this is *a lot* for kids to handle and they don’t do well with ongoing uncertainty from adults they’re supposed to trust. They’re missing their friends and valuable school-era memories they would normally be making. They’re being forced to suddenly learn in a completely new and isolated manner.
Never mind the fact that they’re living in constant fear now of possibly dying or being permanently affected from a deadly virus or potentially exposing family members to this deadly virus. And yet somehow they’re just expected to roll with things and go with the flow and complete all their school requirements as usual?!

How would WE have handled our own school years being interrupted like this? Missing proms, parties, graduations, schools trips/sports and more?? Taking a year out of a kid’s life is far more of a negative impact on them versus on adults who have already been through such valid milestones.
Hell, I didn’t get to have my proper graduate school graduation ceremony as scheduled this year but that didn’t bum me out much since I’ve already had two past graduations anyway. But what about these poor high school/college seniors having to endure this mess?

Guess I’m just frustrated since I’m witnessing the effects of this on kids firsthand. And it’s asinine(and completely unfair) to even consider going forward with state testing/grading and teacher observations as usual given how highly unusual this year has been for our youth and educators in particular.

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11 hours ago, Mittengirl said:

Other than someone pushing a Swiffer-type thing around the entrance area, in the entire time I was in the waiting room I never saw anyone wipe down armrests, doorknobs or tabletop surfaces.  I found that rather concerning.  I did see someone wiping the chair seats in the treatment room as we entered.

I'm much more concerned about germs in the air than germs on surfaces.  Maybe if someone actually sneezes right on an armrest--that wouldn't be great.  But whenever I see a store employee wiping down the counter and keypad after every user, I think, "Why don't you go make sure everybody's wearing their mask right, instead?"  I can avoid touching my own face before I get a chance to clean my finger, but I can't avoid breathing air.

And...wiping the chair seats?  Back when I used to work out in the gym, I'd invariably see people wiping down the seat of the equipment.  Why?????  Maybe if you were sweating so much it was coming through your pants onto the seat, it would be nice to wipe that down because gross.  Even though the chance of it actually touching MY skin, through MY pants, is minuscule, and I'm sure germ transmission is minimal from one person's clothed butt to another person's clothed butt (preferably two layers on each--just sayin').  And nobody's even sweating that much in the first place. 

And as if movie theaters don't have enough problems, I was in one the other day that had a sign saying that regular wipes ruin the leather on their seats, and there was a container for some that wouldn't.  I'm probably the only one who has ever even noticed the sign, and it's wasted on me because I don't carry wipes with me inside anywhere.

 

4 hours ago, ams1001 said:

It amazes me (not in a good way) how many people apparently think that "old" people are just expendable.

But age is one of the criteria in determining who gets health care when it has to be rationed.  If all the other factors are equal, then age will indeed determine who's expendable.

I'll re-propose my suggestion way upthread (or maybe in the closed thread):  Masks, over the nose and mouth, are mandatory everywhere unless you display the appropriate tattoo.  All health care providers are prohibited from providing any care to anyone displaying the tattoo.  That won't stop the spread, but it will help, and it will definitely help unburden healthcare facilities.

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On 10/25/2020 at 4:56 PM, TattleTeeny said:

Same uncle who posted that teachers and parents should just chill about schools reopening, citing that he too is a teacher and it's easy and safe and perfectly fine. He teaches automotive stuff at a tech school for adults. Oh, and has no kids.

image.png.5dd3214b800e0e77c0a28831147c7e35.png

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4 hours ago, Sun-Bun said:

How would WE have handled our own school years being interrupted like this? Missing proms, parties, graduations, schools trips/sports and more?? Taking a year out of a kid’s life is far more of a negative impact on them versus on adults who have already been through such valid milestones.
Hell, I didn’t get to have my proper graduate school graduation ceremony as scheduled this year but that didn’t bum me out much since I’ve already had two past graduations anyway. But what about these poor high school/college seniors having to endure this mess?

I can kind of relate to this at least to a certain extent.  When I was a kid we had a months long teacher's strike in NYC that lasted longer than even the news articles written about it today claim.  My entire fall semester was completely blown away.  I had the opportunity to either sit home or go to a parochial school clear across town.  My mom had gone back to work full time that year so I didn't want to sit home alone (I was an only child) or spend every day at grandma's house, so I chose to go to the parochial school.  I didn't realize how awful I was going to feel about that.  It was such a huge culture shock in a bad way that I became depressed and cried every night.   I didn't want to quit it because I think it was to my advantage grades-wise to stay in the school.  I forget that part of it now but I remember that it felt like a prison sentence.  I was away from all my friends and the kids in this school were not friendly at all.  I just felt so out of place.  My parents were very sympathetic but there was only so much they could do.  I can just imagine if they were going through their own nightmare at the same time, like with Covid!   Plus, with the pandemic we don't know whether kids will be able to continue to go to school in person or whether schools will be closed again then reopened.  There is so much uncertainty, plus with the added worries about one's family's health, it's ten times worse.  Plus we have no idea how long this is going to go on.  If I was depressed over a teacher's strike, I can't even imagine how depressed I'd be as a kid over the pandemic!  Then again, I am pretty depressed over this as an adult too.  One of my friends insists that adults are better able to handle the pandemic than kids - I'm not so sure.  I think it depends on the adult and the situation they find themselves in.  She is relatively lucky - on a fixed, stable income, lives in a stable apartment that she will never not be able to afford, plus she's retired and lives alone so she can more easily avoid dangerous situations.  Not all of us are so fortunate.  Some of us are 60+ and have to face the world, or live with people that have to work and be out there in the world, so we are always worried about whether we will live or die.  Plus we have more chance of dying than kids do and are in some ways more aware of the dangers.  So I think it's hard to make comparisons like that.

Edited by Yeah No
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6 hours ago, Sun-Bun said:

This doesn’t surprise me at all. Society still seems to promote the idea that kids/teens are resilient and shouldn’t be such teacup pussies, but their feelings are all valid and need to be understood as well. Like this is *a lot* for kids to handle and they don’t do well with ongoing uncertainty from adults they’re supposed to trust. They’re missing their friends and valuable school-era memories they would normally be making. They’re being forced to suddenly learn in a completely new and isolated manner.
Never mind the fact that they’re living in constant fear now of possibly dying or being permanently affected from a deadly virus or potentially exposing family members to this deadly virus. And yet somehow they’re just expected to roll with things and go with the flow and complete all their school requirements as usual?!

How would WE have handled our own school years being interrupted like this? Missing proms, parties, graduations, schools trips/sports and more?? Taking a year out of a kid’s life is far more of a negative impact on them versus on adults who have already been through such valid milestones.
Hell, I didn’t get to have my proper graduate school graduation ceremony as scheduled this year but that didn’t bum me out much since I’ve already had two past graduations anyway. But what about these poor high school/college seniors having to endure this mess?

Guess I’m just frustrated since I’m witnessing the effects of this on kids firsthand. And it’s asinine(and completely unfair) to even consider going forward with state testing/grading and teacher observations as usual given how highly unusual this year has been for our youth and educators in particular.

This. All of this. And when you factor in the lack of proper planning for how to make sure kids are still getting tested on all the important stuff as well, and the fact some kids may have limited (or no) internet access in more rural/poor areas and such as well, I shudder to think of the gaps that will leave in kids' education going forward as well. I especially like your point about young people's "ongoing uncertainty from adults they're supposed to trust". To a lot of younger people, it does feel like too many adults out there don't seem to care about making sure there's a safe and stable future for them. Obviously, that's not true, as there are plenty of adults who do care and are trying to tackle these issues, but sometimes it feels like their voices get drowned out by the more selfish adults out there, the ones who think it's fine to mock young people for supposedly being "too sensitive" or "too entitled" or whatever. 

I also agree with people's sentiments about the idiocy that is the "just shut away the old/high-risk people and leave everyone else alone" attitude. Not every older/high-risk person can afford to be a shut-in, and older/high-risk people shouldn't have to be put at risk just because other people want to go to bars or gyms or whatever. To say nothing of how, even if we isolated all the older/high-risk people, that doesn't mean our problems are over. Younger people do still get this. Younger people have died from this. Many younger people have reported other serious health problems that came up after the virus itself ended. We need to keep stressing these facts just as much. Everyone's at risk to some degree or another. 

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17 hours ago, Mittengirl said:

Today I spent 5 hours in the local ER (for an ortho issue, not illness) - 2 hours in a crowded waiting room, then 3 in a treatment room (with only a curtain between us and the next room & between us and the hallway).  I feel like I should avail myself of a Covid test in the near future, but don’t know how long to wait.  Any suggestions?  Presuming/hoping no symptoms occur and make the decision for me.

 

Other than someone pushing a Swiffer-type thing around the entrance area, in the entire time I was in the waiting room I never saw anyone wipe down armrests, doorknobs or tabletop surfaces.  I found that rather concerning.  I did see someone wiping the chair seats in the treatment room as we entered.

harvard.edu/diseases-and-conditions/if-youve-been-exposed-to-the-coronavirus

The time from exposure to symptom onset (known as the incubation period) is thought to be three to 14 days, though symptoms typically appear within four or five days after exposure.

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Well, I just saw on Facebook that an acquaintance (someone I used to work with on campus, but retired a couple of years ago) posted that she is recovering well from Covid, but that her husband (someone who used to work for us part-time) is in the ICU.  That's only the third person I know who has caught this horrible thing (unless there are others who just didn't let everyone know).  I know it's bad, but it really, really becomes 'real' when it's someone you know. 😞 

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I had something ring up wrong at the grocery store yesterday and they gave me the difference back in cash (a dollar and some change).  When I got home and pulled it out of my pocket, I realized I'm pretty sure this is the first time I've touched money since March.

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My grandmother, who had Alzheimer's and was in a residence in Toronto, passed away last night. And we can't even hold a funeral because of Covid-19 and because we can't cross the border into Ontario. Instead, she's just going to be sent for cremation and maybe one day, if things get better, we can hold a vigil for her. I hate 2020 so much right now. 

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3 minutes ago, jewel21 said:

My grandmother, who had Alzheimer's and was in a residence in Toronto, passed away last night. And we can't even hold a funeral because of Covid-19 and because we can't cross the border into Ontario. Instead, she's just going to be sent for cremation and maybe one day, if things get better, we can hold a vigil for her. I hate 2020 so much right now. 

So sorry for your loss, and for the crappy circumstances.  

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24 minutes ago, jewel21 said:

My grandmother, who had Alzheimer's and was in a residence in Toronto, passed away last night. And we can't even hold a funeral because of Covid-19 and because we can't cross the border into Ontario. Instead, she's just going to be sent for cremation and maybe one day, if things get better, we can hold a vigil for her. I hate 2020 so much right now. 

Very similar to my mom's passing in August. There are no words.
 

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@jewel21 There are folks holding virtual memorial services. I have helped with a few.  Obviously it lacks the support and sense of togetherness in grief that we get from in person services, but it can be helpful during these times.  In the after times, when things are closer to normal, another service can be held.  At a minimum, virtual services help people see that they are not alone in their grief. 

On a completely different note, I have someone at my place assembling furniture today.  I own a two-flat (that is, a house split into two apartments) so I am not in the same space as he is.  He asked if he needed to wear a mask. That was a big yes from me.  As we were talking, he ended up telling me he was a biology major and knows all the things about disease.  From this came masks don't help, if we all switched to an alkaline diet and drank lemon water everyday we would be fine, and we should limit exposure to EMFs as they are the cause of all weaknesses in our immune systems.  Me: None of that is true; we believe in science in this house; we wear masks to protect others, therefore you need to wear a mask in this house at all times.  He seems like a nice, hard-working guy who clearly has decided that a BA in biology means he knows more than all of the scientists that work in these fields.  Um, no. Just no. 🙄

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1 hour ago, jewel21 said:

My grandmother, who had Alzheimer's and was in a residence in Toronto, passed away last night. And we can't even hold a funeral because of Covid-19 and because we can't cross the border into Ontario. Instead, she's just going to be sent for cremation and maybe one day, if things get better, we can hold a vigil for her. I hate 2020 so much right now. 

I am so sorry for your loss. It may not matter and will be moot if you aren't Canadian, but Canadians can enter Canada, even if they are living outside of Canada. They just have quarantine polices. 

https://www.canada.ca/en/immigration-refugees-citizenship/services/coronavirus-covid19/travel-restrictions-exemptions.html

Here is some information about foreign nationals entering Canada for compassionate reasons including attending an end of life ceremonyhttps://www.canada.ca/en/immigration-refugees-citizenship/services/coronavirus-covid19/travel-restrictions-exemptions.html#compassionate

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34 minutes ago, PrincessPurrsALot said:

On a completely different note, I have someone at my place assembling furniture today.  I own a two-flat (that is, a house split into two apartments) so I am not in the same space as he is.  He asked if he needed to wear a mask. That was a big yes from me.  As we were talking, he ended up telling me he was a biology major and knows all the things about disease.  From this came masks don't help, if we all switched to an alkaline diet and drank lemon water everyday we would be fine, and we should limit exposure to EMFs as they are the cause of all weaknesses in our immune systems.  Me: None of that is true; we believe in science in this house; we wear masks to protect others, therefore you need to wear a mask in this house at all times.  He seems like a nice, hard-working guy who clearly has decided that a BA in biology means he knows more than all of the scientists that work in these fields.  Um, no. Just no. 🙄

Oh, good grief.  That's not how science works!  I don't even want to know where he got his degree that they teach things like that.

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3 hours ago, jewel21 said:

My grandmother, who had Alzheimer's and was in a residence in Toronto, passed away last night. And we can't even hold a funeral because of Covid-19 and because we can't cross the border into Ontario. Instead, she's just going to be sent for cremation and maybe one day, if things get better, we can hold a vigil for her. I hate 2020 so much right now. 

I'm so sorry. I hope you and your family will be able to find a way to pay your respects.

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2 hours ago, Browncoat said:

Oh, good grief.  That's not how science works!  I don't even want to know where he got his degree that they teach things like that.

None of what he said sounds like it came from any biology curriculum.  I'm smelling the internet on this. 

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7 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

None of what he said sounds like it came from any biology curriculum.  I'm smelling the internet on this. 

Honestly, I could probably name one or two that might try to pass off that sort of thing as "science", but it might get political.  

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5 hours ago, SoMuchTV said:

I had something ring up wrong at the grocery store yesterday and they gave me the difference back in cash (a dollar and some change).  When I got home and pulled it out of my pocket, I realized I'm pretty sure this is the first time I've touched money since March.

Now I feel bad posting something so trivial in the midst of everyone’s stories of losses. My condolences to everyone 😞

 

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43 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

None of what he said sounds like it came from any biology curriculum.  I'm smelling the internet on this. 

All of his BS are ideas that have been around for a long time and are well disproved.  He insists there is science behind them.  Sure,  not good science but whatever.  For me, believe whatever BS you like until you're hurting others.   To his credit the furniture is assembled and he hauled away a truckload of trash and recycling.  I will move back into my unit yet!  ☺️

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7 hours ago, PrincessPurrsALot said:

if we all switched to an alkaline diet and drank lemon water everyday we would be fine

uhh....wouldn't lemon water be acidic?

image.png.249a03660f3edc39d8d7c10d9cbb538d.png

(ETA: I can't get over how cute this puppy's back feets are.)

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5 hours ago, PrincessPurrsALot said:

“…if we all switched to an alkaline diet and drank lemon water everyday we would be fine, and we should limit exposure to EMFs…“

One of my daughters used to say of people like that that they like to hear themselves talk. 
I will add that we don’t need to listen. 🙂

—advice which I should heed. 
Don’t ask. 🙄

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15 hours ago, SoMuchTV said:

I had something ring up wrong at the grocery store yesterday and they gave me the difference back in cash (a dollar and some change).  When I got home and pulled it out of my pocket, I realized I'm pretty sure this is the first time I've touched money since March.

I've had the same $20 bill (& nothing else) in my wallet since February. I may never spend it.

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4 hours ago, GaT said:

I've had the same $20 bill (& nothing else) in my wallet since February. I may never spend it.

Perhaps because I stopped eating in restaurants years before the pandemic (due  to financial setbacks and sciatica pain when sitting), I had long since reached the point where I only had cash to give to the few people in the suburbs who asked for donations at stoplights. I don’t get out much anymore, so I don’t pass their corners. I wonder how they’re doing now as compared to the Before Times —which wasn’t so good either 😟

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I don't know about the restaurant situation at all, but it cannot be good at all.

Edited by Robert Lynch
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7 hours ago, Robert Lynch said:

I don't know about the restaurant situation at all, but it cannot be good at all.

I'm glad my dad is in care and doesn't know his favorite restaurant , the one he went to daily in The Before Times, has a for lease sign on it and has been closed since March.

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36 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

I'm glad my dad is in care and doesn't know his favorite restaurant , the one he went to daily in The Before Times, has a for lease sign on it and has been closed since March.

A friend of mine was telling me the other day his favorite restaurant is closed so he’s now trying to cook the food he liked to get there.  I don’t know yet if he succeeded.  

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1 minute ago, Cobb Salad said:

A friend of mine was telling me the other day his favorite restaurant is closed so he’s now trying to cook the food he liked to get there.  I don’t know yet if he succeeded.  

Oh, good idea. My dad used to get the pear ans spicy pecan salad so I've been sending him bags of sweet and spicy pecans because that was his favorite part of the salad.

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I went to Trader Joe's this afternoon (early/mid-afternoon) because my mother sent me a gift card for my birthday. My nearest store is now eight miles away since I moved. The last time I went to my then-local store was in April or May back when people were still acting like they had some sense. Not so much anymore. Today, there were no one-way aisles and no maximum customer caps like there were back then. This store was maybe a little bit bigger than "my" old store, but the aisles are the same width as the old store and narrower than the other chains I shop at, which means it's impossible to be six feet from a person when they're passing you on the opposite side of the aisle.

My anxiety was pretty high. I put my headphones in to help deal, but it was rough. I stocked up on stuff I can't get elsewhere so I don't have to go back. It's not like I've been there in six months anyway.

Edited by bilgistic
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2 hours ago, bilgistic said:

I went to Trader Joe's this afternoon (early/mid-afternoon) because my mother sent me a gift card for my birthday. My nearest store is now eight miles away since I moved.

I still haven't braved the one here that opened a few weeks ago...

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There were never one-way aisles at our local Trader Joe's, but as of a week ago they were definitely still counting/capping the people in the store.

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On 10/29/2020 at 1:04 PM, jewel21 said:

My grandmother, who had Alzheimer's and was in a residence in Toronto, passed away last night. And we can't even hold a funeral because of Covid-19 and because we can't cross the border into Ontario. Instead, she's just going to be sent for cremation and maybe one day, if things get better, we can hold a vigil for her. I hate 2020 so much right now. 

Very sorry to hear of your loss at this horrible time.  My 92 year old Dad died of Covid in NYC back in April on a day when 700 other people died there.  I live 100 miles away but I couldn't go anywhere near NY anyway back then anyway, so I couldn't be with him in the hospital when he died - I could only tell him we loved him ONCE on the phone after begging them non-stop to get a nurse to hold a phone to his ear.  He couldn't even speak he was so weak - he just gasped.  I told him we loved him, but I have no way of knowing if he was aware of how difficult it was to get through to him there.  I know he was confused because of being dehydrated, etc., so I don't know what he knew.  What a horrible way to die.

It took a month to get him cremated - they had to send his body to Pennsylvania.  I only just picked up his ashes a few weeks ago.  I put the box on his favorite easy chair in the living room for now.  I will have both him and Mom laid to rest in a military cemetery eventually.  Both were WWII veterans.  Yeah, this year sucks the big one, doesn't it?

On 10/29/2020 at 2:40 PM, PrincessPurrsALot said:

@jewel21 There are folks holding virtual memorial services. I have helped with a few.  Obviously it lacks the support and sense of togetherness in grief that we get from in person services, but it can be helpful during these times.  In the after times, when things are closer to normal, another service can be held.  At a minimum, virtual services help people see that they are not alone in their grief. 

My husband's cousin died during the lockdown in NYC months ago of non-covid causes and one of his other cousins held a virtual memorial service for her only a couple of weeks ago.  It was very nice but only relatively close family attended.  My father had no close family left except me, and a lot of his friends are not computer savvy or even have the right equipment to participate in such a service.  I could probably just invite those that do have the capability, but I don't feel quite right excluding the others, some of whom were close friends.  Plus it would be a huge undertaking that would fall on my shoulders because there's no one else to do it, and I have my hands full right now emotionally and otherwise dealing with getting his apartment cleared out and sold.

Speaking of that, I am FINALLY very close to having the place cleared out and painted.  My husband and I are going down there in a few days to give the contractor keys and a deposit.  We are going to tell him we want to meet him outside the building.  I am dreading going - just so many emotions about that place being cleared out after so many decades.  I moved in there with my parents when I was 15 and now I'm 62.  I am seeing a therapist twice a week now, thankfully, because this has just been so hard for me.  I have had a lot of tough stuff thrown at me in my life so I am somewhat resilient, but even for me this has been very hard to handle.  I just want to crawl back into my hole.  Even calling up the contractor or realtor is difficult for me.  Every.  Single.  Time. 

Also, yet more thanks to the person on this board that told me about how insurance companies are picking up the copays for telehealth therapy sessions until the end of the year - I got a notice that this has now been temporarily extended by my insurance company until at least the end of next March.

I just realized I might have written here about some of this stuff before.  My apologies to everyone if I repeat myself about this stuff but it is just so hard and it helps to get it off my chest....

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On 10/29/2020 at 2:40 PM, PrincessPurrsALot said:

On a completely different note, I have someone at my place assembling furniture today.  I own a two-flat (that is, a house split into two apartments) so I am not in the same space as he is.  He asked if he needed to wear a mask. That was a big yes from me.  As we were talking, he ended up telling me he was a biology major and knows all the things about disease.  From this came masks don't help, if we all switched to an alkaline diet and drank lemon water everyday we would be fine, and we should limit exposure to EMFs as they are the cause of all weaknesses in our immune systems.  Me: None of that is true; we believe in science in this house; we wear masks to protect others, therefore you need to wear a mask in this house at all times.  He seems like a nice, hard-working guy who clearly has decided that a BA in biology means he knows more than all of the scientists that work in these fields.  Um, no. Just no. 🙄

Oh no, I wish I could say I've never encountered someone like this, but I have.  Plus there are a lot of them posting on local news boards to this effect in my area.  It is just so maddening for me!  I love how suddenly everyone is an expert, like they can just dismiss what the REAL experts have to say because they think they know better and spew "fake science" that they get from other non-expert sources.  I was ranting about stuff like this before the pandemic.  Somehow everyone with a YouTube channel thinks they can dispense "expert" advice just because they think they're someone special - never mind having any real credentials!  Have a biology degree?  Wow, that makes him more knowledgeable than the head of a health organization, doncha know?  😏

2 hours ago, theatremouse said:

There were never one-way aisles at our local Trader Joe's, but as of a week ago they were definitely still counting/capping the people in the store.

I have been to Trader Joe's a total of ONCE since the pandemic, and I used to go there about once a month.  It's a little out of the way but only about 20 minutes from here.  I went there in June after things started loosening up around me and I felt brave enough to do so.  I stood on red dots outside on line to get in, but once inside I didn't see any one way aisles nor any attempt to get people to social distance (which they weren't doing).  As a result, I have not felt comfortable enough to go back.  I am not happy with TJ's policy on not offering curbside pickup or enlisting with delivery services like Instacart, and I've found their excuses about why they aren't doing so to lack much credibility.  They say they'd rather use the extra money it would cost to offer these things "investing in their workforce", which sounds admirable, but if you do it at the expense of sales to such a degree, how is that benefitting your workforce?  They just about have told me my business is not valuable enough to them to offer such services.  They say they have to do it to "keep prices low", but Aldi finds a way to keep prices low and still offer those services....I have read that a lot of TJ's customers have complained about their lack of such services but they are still digging their heels in about it.  Well, I guess they don't need my business or the business of a lot of other older people that worry about their health....Newsflash, TJs, that includes a LOT of your customers in my area.

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