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SilverStormm

COVID-19: Personal Stories

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I went to the grocery store today and they have removed all the one way and 6 feet markers on the floor. Signs are up to stay 6 feet apart and that masks are required. No one is counting the number of people entering and leaving.

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We sing this in the bilgistic household when we see people being not smart about the pandemic: "The pandemic isn't over just because you're over it." If I already shared it, welp...here it is again. Because the pandemic isn't over.

 

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2 hours ago, chessiegal said:

No one is counting the number of people entering and leaving.

That's disturbing.  Or, at least, it would be here.  Maybe in your neck of the woods it's a good sign that cases are way down.

36 minutes ago, bilgistic said:

We sing this in the bilgistic household when we see people being not smart about the pandemic: "The pandemic isn't over just because you're over it."

Ha - I almost quit early, thinking there wouldn't be any additional lyrics, but I'm glad I stuck it out for the "don't be a dumb ass" finish.

Edited by Bastet
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The college-aged son of one of my co-workers has tested positive for COVID.  My co-worker naturally (or naturally in the Before Times), went to the college to bring the kid home -- BEFORE the kid was tested.  So now they both are quarantined for however long it takes, and other people are having to scramble to cover my co-worker's classes.  And I feel like a terrible person for thinking this, but I kind of wish Co-worker had told the kid to get tested at the college and stay there, rather than bringing it home.

The only good thing is that all of this happened over the weekend, so none of the rest of us was potentially exposed.

 

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43 minutes ago, Bastet said:

That's disturbing.  Or, at least, it would be here.  Maybe in your neck of the woods it's a good sign that cases are way down.

Yes, cases are down. The state is in Phase 3 reopening. My county is hybrid stage 2/stage 3. Schools are virtual fall semester, but high school football starts Oct. 7. Several private schools that opened had to close again because of positive cases.

We live in a small subdivision of about 65 houses. We talked about what to do with trick-or-treaters. My husband said, no lights on this year, but you can still bring home candy.☺️ He's developed quite the sweet tooth in his old age. The county health official is discouraging traditional trick or treating. All organized activities have been cancelled. The moms in our little community are good at coming up with creative ways for the kids to be active and still be safe. I'll be interested in what they come up with.

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Trick- or-treating is strongly discouraged here (the original public health order prohibited it, but that was revised; only carnivals, haunted houses, etc. are still outright banned), but it won't be any different than any other year at my house - I never give out candy on Halloween.  (And I only went trick-or-treating once as a kid - I found it dumb - so I feel no obligation to give back.)

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One thing that amused me at the store today was the price of poor quality tp they obviously stocked up on during the great tp drought. 99 cents for a 4 pack. I'm thinking they might start giving it away.

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Last I heard trick or treating here in NJ is still on.  In my neighborhood though it’s rare I see kids going around.  I buy candy that I like and pretty much end up eating it all over the next few weeks.  I wasn’t much of a trick or treater growing up,  I went out a few times and that was it.  Instead I helped give out candy.

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Stephen Colbert was talking about how places were banning trick or treating recently, and he joked, "That's probably for the best, 'cause you know anyone who's dressed like a mummy is going to get mugged for their toilet paper." 

Hope things turn out okay for your co-worker and their son, @Browncoat.. 

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4 minutes ago, Annber03 said:

Hope things turn out okay for your co-worker and their son, @Browncoat.. 

Thanks.  Me, too, really.  I know I sounded kind of callous about it, but I do hope they both are okay.

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3 minutes ago, Browncoat said:

Thanks.  Me, too, really.  I know I sounded kind of callous about it, but I do hope they both are okay.

No, yeah, I totally understand your frustrations, too. Unfortunately, with guidelines/rules/etc. being as haphazard as they are, it means situations like the one with your workplace and your co-worker are very common, because people are more lax and prone to iffy decisions on how to handle that stuff as a result :/. 

Edited by Annber03
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38 minutes ago, Cobb Salad said:

Last I heard trick or treating here in NJ is still on.  In my neighborhood though it’s rare I see kids going around.  I buy candy that I like and pretty much end up eating it all over the next few weeks.  I wasn’t much of a trick or treater growing up,  I went out a few times and that was it.  Instead I helped give out candy.

I do the same thing. Usually Peppermint Patties. I've never gotten more than a few kids, though; being on the second floor with two neighbors (whose doors are most visible from the ground) usually putting up "sorry no treats" signs probably makes most kids not bother. Also, I try not to be home until later so even if the kids are out they're mostly done by the time I get home. (I would turn out my light but I'm right at the top of the stairs and I don't like to leave them in the dark.) One year I wandered the bookstore with a hot chocolate until 9pm. Last year I actually went to my parents' house and handed out treats there, because they were out and they usually get a fair amount of kids these days.

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Montreal and parts of Quebec have officially entered a second wave. We are classified as a red zone. Cases are averaging about 700-800 a day. Today there were 823 new cases since yesterday. Luckily hospital admissions aren't as high as they were before.  There was something like an increase of 15 people since yesterday. 

Starting at midnight we can't have private gatherings in homes or public gatherings. Museums, bars, performance halls, and restaurants are closed. Restaurants can only do take-out.  And gathering in parks with people from different households is not allowed. The government is keeping schools opened and sports because apparently it's important. I believe malls are still opened as are hairdressers and pretty much everything else. 

I don't know, this province is ass-backwards. 

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4 hours ago, Browncoat said:

Thanks.  Me, too, really.  I know I sounded kind of callous about it, but I do hope they both are okay.

I think it's human.  You don't want your coworker to get sick or seriously sick.  But it's always annoying when you have to cover for someone--especially when they have to quarantine just in case. 

 

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4 hours ago, Irlandesa said:

I think it's human.  You don't want your coworker to get sick or seriously sick.  But it's always annoying when you have to cover for someone--especially when they have to quarantine just in case. 

 

It also shows us just how fragile this house of cards is.  We’ve all been doing all the right things, but just one small decision can bring the cards tumbling down.  This is why I don’t feel comfortable stepping foot in my parents’ house.

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This post could also go in the Pet Peeves thread. 

Mom (who resides in an assisted living facility) had her first Covid era Dr. appt. this week.  We've been allowed once-weekly visits for about 8 weeks now, wherein we're "covid protocalled" (temp, questionaire) etc.  Had my mask on, started walking the 6 ft. to where Mom was sitting in her wheelchair to wheel her out to the car, and receptionist tells me "I can't have you in here as you haven't been protocalled".

Now, the reasonable me understands that rules are rules.  The red-headed bitch in me wanted to ask her if she has noticed that the vast majority of residents are wandering around with their masks under their collective chins, or not wearing one at all.  One of the visits, the pinhead CNA wheeled Mom the not-so short distance from her apartment to our meeting room without seeing that she had her mask on, or even with her.

It just sort of tweaked my gizzard a bit.

 

 

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My daughter is a nurse at a nursing home. They had been COVID free. The last 2 days of her 2 week vacation have now been cancelled by the administration, because they now have residents and staff who have tested positive. 
 

😔

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4 hours ago, Browncoat said:

It also shows us just how fragile this house of cards is.  We’ve all been doing all the right things, but just one small decision can bring the cards tumbling down.  This is why I don’t feel comfortable stepping foot in my parents’ house.

I’m driving out to NJ - Today, actually - to see my parents.  They’re physically healthy but really depressed and isolated, and we decided that amongst all their kids, I’m the least exposed to the outside world and the best option to visit them.

I’m planning to be super cautious, though.  It’s a big house so extreme social distancing is possible at all times, we’re not eating together, and definitely no hugs.  Frankly, it sounds depressing AF but it lifts their spirits, I’m ok with it.

I really wish I could hug them, though 🙁

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3 hours ago, Kiki777 said:

I really wish I could hug them, though 🙁

I would think hugging with masks on would be fine. Maybe you can message your primary care physician and ask? 
I would also guess that having some windows open would be advisable too. 

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21 hours ago, Browncoat said:

The college-aged son of one of my co-workers has tested positive for COVID.  My co-worker naturally (or naturally in the Before Times), went to the college to bring the kid home -- BEFORE the kid was tested.  So now they both are quarantined for however long it takes, and other people are having to scramble to cover my co-worker's classes.  And I feel like a terrible person for thinking this, but I kind of wish Co-worker had told the kid to get tested at the college and stay there, rather than bringing it home.

Why did your co-worker go pick up the kid in the first place? 

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40 minutes ago, shapeshifter said:

I would think hugging with masks on would be fine. Maybe you can message your primary care physician and ask? 
I would also guess that having some windows open would be advisable too. 

CBS Sunday morning had a segment  about a study and then the contributor called a friend and she came over and demonstrated. Masks on face turned away , short etc.  

I have been really down lately so went to see my son his wife and my grandkids Sunday.  It’s Very hot here and during 2 other visits we sat outside. This time my son suggested the garage with 2 regular doors open and he had standing fan going. I’ve heard different opinions about the fan situation.  The little guys are talkers and  always happy to see me so I can not say to them to back away.  I can’t.    Crap this is hard and I’m having a difficult  time seeing a light at the end of the tunnel.. 
 

 

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5 minutes ago, athousandclowns said:

I’ve heard different opinions about the fan situation

What is the deal with fans, anyways?  I use a small one at work, pointed right at my face (yay hot flashes!) but I figure it might help when ‘nose-out maskers’ come to my desk.

My parents are thrilled to have me here, even without the hugging 🙂 my mom is cooking for me as we speak and we are such a ‘food is love’ family.  Damn I missed Mom’s cooking!

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24 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

Why did your co-worker go pick up the kid in the first place? 

I wish I knew!  I guess because the kid started getting sick and wanted to come home?  I mean, I get it -- even now (and I'm way past college!), I want some sympathy from my parents if I'm sick, and if I had a sick kid, I'd want to be able to take care of them, but still. 

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1 hour ago, Browncoat said:

I wish I knew!  I guess because the kid started getting sick and wanted to come home?  I mean, I get it -- even now (and I'm way past college!), I want some sympathy from my parents if I'm sick, and if I had a sick kid, I'd want to be able to take care of them, but still. 

Thanks for clarifying.  Or clarifying that you're not able to clarify.  😀

It made no sense because everything I've seen about kids on college campuses says to keep them there.  Test, no test, sick, not sick.  It's no NBA bubble, but at least it doesn't expose any NEW people to possible infection spreading outside the petri dishes that college campuses have become.

Maybe if a kid tested negative and wanted to drop out of school and come home, that would be okay.  But otherwise, stay there!

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8 hours ago, ginger90 said:

My daughter is a nurse at a nursing home. They had been COVID free. The last 2 days of her 2 week vacation have now been cancelled by the administration, because they now have residents and staff who have tested positive. 
 

😔

Sorry about that.  Mom's facility has thus far been 0% cases as well.  Hoping it stays that way, but chin coverings won't contribute to that success.

6 hours ago, Kiki777 said:

I’m driving out to NJ - Today, actually - to see my parents.  They’re physically healthy but really depressed and isolated, and we decided that amongst all their kids, I’m the least exposed to the outside world and the best option to visit them.

I’m planning to be super cautious, though.  It’s a big house so extreme social distancing is possible at all times, we’re not eating together, and definitely no hugs.  Frankly, it sounds depressing AF but it lifts their spirits, I’m ok with it.

I really wish I could hug them, though 🙁

By the time Mom's home opened up, I was getting very concerned for her emotional health.  She was very depressed.  Our once-weekly visits have helped a lot, as I'm sure your visit will with your parents.

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47 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

Thanks for clarifying.  Or clarifying that you're not able to clarify.  😀

It made no sense because everything I've seen about kids on college campuses says to keep them there.  Test, no test, sick, not sick.  It's no NBA bubble, but at least it doesn't expose any NEW people to possible infection spreading outside the petri dishes that college campuses have become.

Maybe if a kid tested negative and wanted to drop out of school and come home, that would be okay.  But otherwise, stay there!

Exactly.

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17 minutes ago, Browncoat said:

Exactly.

Well, then you shouldn't feel like a terrible person because what your co-worker did was not only irresponsible and against advice from the experts, it has affected you and your other co-workers.

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A former colleague of mine did the same thing.  She has three daughters, all at the same university but in separate housing.  The freshman caught it first (who knows, really) and gave it to her sisters.  Then they all came home with mom and dad's blessing, and gave it to their younger sister and dad.  The four girls had various mild symptoms, ranging from the freshman, who had "flu-like" symptoms, to the high schooler who had "allergy-like" symptoms.  Dad ended up unable to get out of bed, unable to breathe, and had to make a trip to the emergency room (though he was never hospitalized).

They're all fine now and back and work and school, but it could have been so much worse!  My friend says, "when you're sick, you want your mom".  That's all well and good, but damn.  Those girls could be suffering horrible regret right now, all because they needed mom's chicken noodle.  I could see if they were dangerously ill, or if the freshman was all alone there.  But she had her two big sisters, who were already exposed/positive, to watch over her, and her parents are only a couple of hours away.

My ex-co-worker is an otherwise intelligent person, so I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt and telling myself that maybe by the time the girls had symptoms and were tested, they had already been home for a visit and they figured the damage was done.

Edited by Jane Tuesday
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I am so depressed, my husband just pointed out to me that we've been quarantining for 7 months. No wonder I'm so miserable. I know it felt like forever, but I didn't realize that it really was that long. I'm going to be stuck at home for at least a year before my life gets anywhere close to what it was. I'm going to lose my mind first. 

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42 minutes ago, Jane Tuesday said:

They're all fine now and back and work and school, but it could have been so much worse!  My friend says, "when you're sick, you want your mom".  That's all well and good, but damn.  Those girls could be suffering horrible regret right now, all because they needed mom's chicken noodle.  I could see if they were dangerously ill, or if the freshman was all alone there.  But she had her two big sisters, who were already exposed/positive, to watch over her, and her parents are only a couple of hours away.

I know life isn't a pain olympics, but damn.  Eighteen-year-old boys were drafted and sent to fight in World War II and in Vietnam, with only written letters to communicate with their loved ones.  And those boys weren't even remotely responsible for the war they were drafted to fight.

 

53 minutes ago, Jane Tuesday said:

My ex-co-worker is an otherwise intelligent person, so I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt and telling myself that maybe by the time the girls had symptoms and were tested, they had already been home for a visit and they figured the damage was done.

But why had they already been home for a visit?  School's been in session for only like a month.  And it's been clear from jump that colleges were having a lot of infections.  Going to college could be an "essential" activity, but going home to visit your parents from college isn't.

I've about had it with college students.  I know the freshmen, in particular, are getting a raw deal, but so what?  The way to deal with it is to make it worse?  And this is coming from someone who thinks going to college is much more than just the education you get.  But there's a limit.

I'll tell you what--if I were a parent with a kid going to college in the next several years, you can bet I'd be deep-diving into schools' coronavirus records.  Of course it might not even be that hard, because I expect there's a strong correlation between schools with a big Greek presence and number of infections.  I feel bad for the smaller schools that might actually be handling it pretty well, but probably won't survive the general fallout this is going to bring on all colleges. 

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3 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

But why had they already been home for a visit?

I don't know that they did.  I'm just saying that would be slightly less ridiculous than coming home after they knew they had it.

And yes, an 18-year-old should be able to handle having "the flu".  But there are some cases* I've heard of where people went downhill very, very fast, to the point that they were no longer able to even understand what was going on.  That's why I cautioned the OP above to schedule routine check-in phone calls with someone while he/she was sick at home.

*Toward the beginning of the pandemic, my cousin's BIL and his wife caught it.  It was early days, when they had people so terrified (or trying so hard to not "overwhelm! the! system!") that people weren't seeking help when they should have.  The couple was so out of it that they basically lost sight of how sick they were getting.  The husband refused to go to the hospital, fell out of bed, and said he wanted to sleep there.  The wife was so befuddled that she didn't call 911.  He died that night.

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6 hours ago, Jane Tuesday said:

*Toward the beginning of the pandemic, my cousin's BIL and his wife caught it.  It was early days, when they had people so terrified (or trying so hard to not "overwhelm! the! system!") that people weren't seeking help when they should have.  The couple was so out of it that they basically lost sight of how sick they were getting.  The husband refused to go to the hospital, fell out of bed, and said he wanted to sleep there.  The wife was so befuddled that she didn't call 911.  He died that night.

This is familiar to me - this happened to my father, who died of Covid in April.  I think the lack of oxygen was confusing his mental state and he didn't realize how sick he was.  He insisted he was "just tired" and actually feeling fine.  From 100 miles away over the phone I couldn't completely or adequately assess the situation but I really didn't believe him.  The progression from OK to dying happened so fast that it was hard for me to react fast enough.  He didn't answer the phone the next morning so I had an ambulance get over there right away and someone with the key to let them in.  He was unable to answer the phone or the door because he was already too weak to get up.  I have read that his is a typical syndrome of someone that dies of Covid.  One minute they're "feeling much better" and the next they're mentally confused and unable to function physically.  It can happen overnight.  My father was rushed to the hospital where he fought for his life for a week.  Again, they actually thought he was getting better every day and were talking to me about next steps when again he suddenly took a turn for the worse and nothing they could do would save him.

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Well, I just broke down and called my former therapist for a Zoom appointment.  I stopped seeing him shortly after my father died because even with the co-pay I didn't have the money to see him anymore.  It has become obvious to me that I am suffering from adjustment disorder in a really big way.  A friend saw an article about it and when he described it I realized that I was suffering from it.  Normally we have maybe a couple of big life events to adjust to every few years, but right now we are all adjusting to several new realities brought on by the pandemic that have us feeling anxious and depressed, like job and income loss, uncertainty about one's future, fears about one's health, financial future, etc.  Add in the grief and other issues from losing someone during this time (especially due to Covid) and its even worse.  I have had to deal with my father's apartment in NYC which I now have to have cleared out to sell.  Stuff going back 70 years that I remember my entire life and I'm 62.....It's emotionally hard to deal with even if there wasn't a pandemic but add that, and the circumstances in which he died, and it's 20 times harder.  Then add the worry about what's happening in the world, our collective future, our friends and family and how they are coping, and it's over the top.  What I have been dealing with since April is like a tsunami.  I have felt unable to cope and have to push myself to make the decisions and do the things I need to do to move on.  My friends tell me I am "amazing" in that I have not had a complete emotional breakdown and that I have been doing this without therapy or medication.  Well that was true until recently.

I saw my gastroenterologist a few weeks ago when my stomach suddenly became very acid.  I don't suffer from acid reflux or heartburn but in times of extreme stress I can get an acid stomach.  I was self-medicating on Prilosec but I wanted to see the doctor for his advice.  He ended up agreeing with me that my issues were caused by my extreme stress and to continue with the Prilosec until our next Zoom meeting.  Plus he prescribed an anti-anxiety drug, which has really helped.  Then today I picked up the phone to call my therapist.  I am doing what I feel I need to do to help myself.

It dawned on me how out of character I have been acting, putting things off that I should be dealing with faster.  Like my car lease which ended on 10/1 but I put off making a decision, then finally called the dealership only a week ago.  Even after a 3 month extension I was STILL undecided as to what to do with the car, either buy it or lease a new one.  I ended up deciding to lease a new one for a lot of reasons, most of which were it was the cheaper thing to do if you can believe that.  But I am worried about my lack of income now and we still haven't had any renewal of pandemic unemployment benefits - It is something really concerning me.  I do not want to give in to retiring early because I've done the math and can't afford to do that either, it would be even worse.  And forget me finding a job - I had already been down that road and gave up in early 2019 after being out of work for two years due to an on-the-job injury and then getting let go while on workers' comp., which I contested and won, but still was without a job.  I was getting nowhere, applying to the same companies over and over again for two years, (my area is limited in where I can work) and after several interviews I got called back a few times but somehow never got the job.  Then a friend in a high level HR position told me that "age discrimination is real".  I believe that because I never had this kind of difficulty finding a job.  So forget it, I gave up.  Plus I am in a high risk category for the virus and would have to work remotely. 

So I am not very optimistic, but who would be if they were me?  My husband is also not getting any work as a limo. driver.  He has his "pandemic proof" stretch limo. with a sealed divider between him and the back of the vehicle, plus completely separate ventilation systems that do not share air.  But he has NO TAKERS.  No one is traveling, there are no meetings to take business people to, there are no weddings, nothing.  He is 64 and he too is just waiting for full retirement age.  I am beginning to worry that we won't make it through to better days - the sale of my Dad's apartment can't come fast enough, but I am afraid about that too.  I can't afford to keep paying the monthly maintenance/taxes on that for another several months.  It's a $1,000 a month!  I will go broke before that place sells and then I won't get that much for it because it needs renovation plus there are so many people who get fees and taxes to pay in NYC that it can be ridiculous.

We have mega-rich client/friends that always say they care and to let them know if we need anything but my husband has too much pride to let them know how bad things really are.  We deferred our mortgage twice and when it's due I don't know what we will do if we can't convince the mortgage company to take some money off the principal - 10 years ago we both lost our jobs during the recession and ended up in pre-foreclosure, then when we eventually refinanced, the company slapped an extra amount on the end of the mortgage without substantiating why - even factoring in our payments in arrears etc. it was way over the top - now our lawyer is trying to get that reduced.  So say a prayer because any reduction can go toward the payments we owe.  We just don't want to lose our house.

Granted, this situation sucks for everyone, but I have a LOT of very stressful and difficult issues going on simultaneously that make this even worse for me than for a lot of people I know.  It just sucks when people say "Oh, everyone has it bad, it's not just you" as if to diminish what I'm going through.  When I hear their issues I feel like they have much less insecurity and worry than I do about their financial futures.  They should walk a mile in my shoes before saying that.  Sorry, I just had to vent....

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Vent away, @Yeah No. Losing a parent is always tough, but having to deal with that loss on top of everything else going on, and knowing they died from something as big as this pandemic besides? I think that'd put lots of people into quite the tailspin.

I'm glad you're reaching out to your therapist, and that there's others offering and willing to help you and your husband as well. I hope their support and efforts prove beneficial. 

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Just got an estimate from a painter who said that it's tough to get lumber and sandpaper these days due to shortages from this affliction. While the painting is mostly aesthetic for my abode, I have to feel sorry for all those who have lost everything due to natural disasters who need to rebuild and don't have the option of waiting for shortages to be over! 

Edited by Blergh
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15 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Well, I just broke down and called my former therapist for a Zoom appointment.  I stopped seeing him shortly after my father died because even with the co-pay I didn't have the money to see him anymore.  It has become obvious to me that I am suffering from adjustment disorder in a really big way.  A friend saw an article about it and when he described it I realized that I was suffering from it.  Normally we have maybe a couple of big life events to adjust to every few years, but right now we are all adjusting to several new realities brought on by the pandemic that have us feeling anxious and depressed, like job and income loss, uncertainty about one's future, fears about one's health, financial future, etc.  Add in the grief and other issues from losing someone during this time (especially due to Covid) and its even worse.  I have had to deal with my father's apartment in NYC which I now have to have cleared out to sell.  Stuff going back 70 years that I remember my entire life and I'm 62.....It's emotionally hard to deal with even if there wasn't a pandemic but add that, and the circumstances in which he died, and it's 20 times harder.  Then add the worry about what's happening in the world, our collective future, our friends and family and how they are coping, and it's over the top.  What I have been dealing with since April is like a tsunami.  I have felt unable to cope and have to push myself to make the decisions and do the things I need to do to move on.  My friends tell me I am "amazing" in that I have not had a complete emotional breakdown and that I have been doing this without therapy or medication.  Well that was true until recently.

I saw my gastroenterologist a few weeks ago when my stomach suddenly became very acid.  I don't suffer from acid reflux or heartburn but in times of extreme stress I can get an acid stomach.  I was self-medicating on Prilosec but I wanted to see the doctor for his advice.  He ended up agreeing with me that my issues were caused by my extreme stress and to continue with the Prilosec until our next Zoom meeting.  Plus he prescribed an anti-anxiety drug, which has really helped.  Then today I picked up the phone to call my therapist.  I am doing what I feel I need to do to help myself.

It dawned on me how out of character I have been acting, putting things off that I should be dealing with faster.  Like my car lease which ended on 10/1 but I put off making a decision, then finally called the dealership only a week ago.  Even after a 3 month extension I was STILL undecided as to what to do with the car, either buy it or lease a new one.  I ended up deciding to lease a new one for a lot of reasons, most of which were it was the cheaper thing to do if you can believe that.  But I am worried about my lack of income now and we still haven't had any renewal of pandemic unemployment benefits - It is something really concerning me.  I do not want to give in to retiring early because I've done the math and can't afford to do that either, it would be even worse.  And forget me finding a job - I had already been down that road and gave up in early 2019 after being out of work for two years due to an on-the-job injury and then getting let go while on workers' comp., which I contested and won, but still was without a job.  I was getting nowhere, applying to the same companies over and over again for two years, (my area is limited in where I can work) and after several interviews I got called back a few times but somehow never got the job.  Then a friend in a high level HR position told me that "age discrimination is real".  I believe that because I never had this kind of difficulty finding a job.  So forget it, I gave up.  Plus I am in a high risk category for the virus and would have to work remotely. 

So I am not very optimistic, but who would be if they were me?  My husband is also not getting any work as a limo. driver.  He has his "pandemic proof" stretch limo. with a sealed divider between him and the back of the vehicle, plus completely separate ventilation systems that do not share air.  But he has NO TAKERS.  No one is traveling, there are no meetings to take business people to, there are no weddings, nothing.  He is 64 and he too is just waiting for full retirement age.  I am beginning to worry that we won't make it through to better days - the sale of my Dad's apartment can't come fast enough, but I am afraid about that too.  I can't afford to keep paying the monthly maintenance/taxes on that for another several months.  It's a $1,000 a month!  I will go broke before that place sells and then I won't get that much for it because it needs renovation plus there are so many people who get fees and taxes to pay in NYC that it can be ridiculous.

We have mega-rich client/friends that always say they care and to let them know if we need anything but my husband has too much pride to let them know how bad things really are.  We deferred our mortgage twice and when it's due I don't know what we will do if we can't convince the mortgage company to take some money off the principal - 10 years ago we both lost our jobs during the recession and ended up in pre-foreclosure, then when we eventually refinanced, the company slapped an extra amount on the end of the mortgage without substantiating why - even factoring in our payments in arrears etc. it was way over the top - now our lawyer is trying to get that reduced.  So say a prayer because any reduction can go toward the payments we owe.  We just don't want to lose our house.

Granted, this situation sucks for everyone, but I have a LOT of very stressful and difficult issues going on simultaneously that make this even worse for me than for a lot of people I know.  It just sucks when people say "Oh, everyone has it bad, it's not just you" as if to diminish what I'm going through.  When I hear their issues I feel like they have much less insecurity and worry than I do about their financial futures.  They should walk a mile in my shoes before saying that.  Sorry, I just had to vent....

I'm glad you are prioritizing the Zoom appointment. I've been doing Zoom with a grief counselor, and it has been really helpful. 💐

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19 hours ago, Yeah No said:

It just sucks when people say "Oh, everyone has it bad, it's not just you" as if to diminish what I'm going through.

Yeah, so what if it's not just you? That doesn't make it easier for you! Misery doesn't love or need company, misery needs an outlet, a shoulder to cry on, understanding and support. I sincerely hope things get better soon, and until then you keep doing the things you're doing to take care of yourself!

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Thanks to you all.  I don't post often on this thread, then suddenly I pour it all off my chest - I really appreciate your understanding.  I was very close to my father.  He was the last close blood relative I had left.  It would suck to lose him at any time, but even more now.  Thank goodness for my husband and friends, although I've only seen two of my friends in the flesh since February, very socially distanced and with masks of course.  I just took the new car home today.  I just hope it doesn't clear out my bank account but what am I going to do?  I need a car and this was the less expensive route.  The apartment is not worth that much in its present condition plus it's in the Bronx so its value is nowhere near Manhattan.  I have about 6 months left before I run out of my father's money to pay the maintenance/taxes.  I definitely need to start praying!

Before the pandemic my therapist told me I had a "tragic life".  I never really looked at it that way although I was aware that I'd had my share of difficulties.  I guess I always looked at the bright side or counted my blessings.  It actually took me a while to appreciate what he said, and now it's very hard to count my blessings in this situation when the hits just keep on coming!  I'm afraid that what little I do have is going to be taken away from me and I'll be left with nothing in my old age.  When I was young I had the optimism of knowing that I could always turn things around and I had enough time to recover.  It's harder to do that now.  It's especially hard to do that when I have already given up looking for a job.

All of my friends have an income.  Some are retired, others still working.  My husband and I were doing OK before this happened, hoping to ride things out until we could formally retire - It just seems like every hit gets more targeted to take us out completely.  I'm not superstitious but it's hard not to see it that way.  We have reinvented ourselves many times in our lives and have always landed on our feet, but how do we do that at this stage of life under these circumstances?  It feels impossible. 

My parents grew up during the Depression, then they survived WWII, but after that their lives were so much easier than mine has been all tolled.  They benefitted from riding the wave of a relatively prosperous and stable time straight through to retirement, by comparison.  They didn't have a lot of money but they never had to deal with layoffs and all the twists and turns that have plagued me and my husband.  My father, having been a WWII veteran (who never saw combat because he came in too late in the war) had the best military retirement income and medical coverage, plus other sources of retirement income.  Their rental apartment went co-op in the 80s and they got it for next to nothing.  They had good fortune for most of their lives.  I often feel them looking down on me from Heaven with sorrow, wishing they could help me now.  It's very sad.  Thank goodness I do have that apartment, but I still worry that somehow that what little I get from it will end up being used just to keep me afloat.  Forget about it being a source of income for retirement when I have no income for the next few years until I can retire!  Once I can retire I'll be in better shape, not great, but not horrible either, but I still have to last those few more years until I can retire.  My husband was one of those people that never thought he would retire, now it's like he's being forced to, but the problem is he doesn't have much coming to him in retirement as a result since he always thought he could supplement that income.  I never agreed with him, but he didn't work for companies that offered 401Ks or pensions like I did and then went into business for himself.  What is he going to do now, say "do you want paper or plastic"?  We'll NEVER survive!  

And then every time I go out, even to the car dealership, I am deathly afraid I'll catch Covid and DIE.  Unbelievable!  I told the salesman and finance person to keep a greater distance from me than usual, and they were very nice about it but despite spraying Lysol and all that I still felt uncomfortable.

Anyway, sorry to go on so long again....

Thanks for taking time out of your own problems to listen, it really helps!!

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On 9/11/2020 at 5:57 PM, theredhead77 said:

My office sent out and email today that when we return we're all going to be required to use a tracker while in the building that will sound an alarm if we get too close to other people. Every night they will be charged and data will be uploaded for contact tracing. Feels like a big brother attempt to justify reopening the office instead of allowing people to continue to work from home. Yesterday I had a telehealth appt with my rheumatologist and told her about the reopening and the shittacular new office that I've been assigned (with the HVAC vent directly overhead) and offered to write me a note to continue to WFH as reasonable accommodation. Yes, please. I hope this new tracker doesn't deter that offer.

Yesterday my boss let me know we won't be required to return until Jan. at the earliest. They sent out our annual survey and the feedback about having to return to the office was so scathing they made the decision before the survey response period closed. 

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We had a town hall meeting the other day to update everyone on the various projects going on.   When it came time for Q&A the first questions were all about office reentry.  They’re in the planning stages and when reopening happens it’ll be no more than 50% capacity with rules established that everyone must understand and follow.  There was reference to a survey (I didn’t get one since I’m a contractor) where about 75% said they’re not ready to come back in to the office.  Of the 25% who wanted to come back only 3 or 4% said full time.  The important thing that management said on the call was they wouldn’t force anyone to come back in if they didn’t want to and they could continue with work from home.  They also recognize many people take mass transit to get to the office which can be risky to take during rush hour.  They didn’t say when they’re planning to reopen but I’d suppose it wouldn’t be until next year.  

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I was pulling into the parking lot of the grocery store and saw what looked like a ghost enter the store.

So I hurried up and parked and got my cart to see if someone likes Halloween so much that they started shopping in costume on October 3rd.

Well, it was a covid thing.  A shopper had donned some kind of robe/caftan type garment.  Except it looked like it was homemade from bedsheets.  It went all the way to the ankles, long sleeves, and had a hood.

Now here is what I don't get...  If you are so concerned about covid then how is it that you are willing to go shopping in that get up but cannot pick up or deliver your groceries.  We were literally standing in a grocery store that does pick up.  And its a grocery store where most of the stuff that isn't in the pick up options, ie disinfectant wipes, lysol, etc., is available in the "ship" option.  How can someone be able to work out how to sew what is basically a full body mask to go to the store but can't figure out how not to go to the store.

Then I started thinking less of humanity and started wondering if this was a person with covid who was really sick of quarantine and really wanted to get out of the house and used a full body mask as a way to justify to themselves that they weren't a terrible person because they had taken precautions.

Either way, I kept my distance.

Edited by ParadoxLost
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13 minutes ago, ParadoxLost said:

Well, it was a covid thing.  A shopper had donned some kind of robe/caftan type garment.  Except it looked like it was homemade from bedsheets.  It went all the way to the ankles, long sleeves, and had a hood.

Either way, I kept my distance.

I take daily walks around my neighborhood.  Several times during the spring I’d see someone (pretty sure a woman) walking who was wearing a hat completely covering her head with some fabric hanging on the side of it to cover her face.  She was also wearing gloves up to her elbows. Anytime I’d see her she’d be coming towards me — I was always the one who had to move out of the way to maintain distance - she’d never budge. Very irritating.  I didn’t see this person for a while then recently I saw her again with almost the same getup with shorts.  This time I’d see her moving for others.   This is in an area that anyone walking around can easily maintain distance when walking like crossing the street to avoid an oncoming walker so to see someone dressed like this is odd.  

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5 hours ago, ParadoxLost said:

I was pulling into the parking lot of the grocery store and saw what looked like a ghost enter the store.

So I hurried up and parked and got my cart to see if someone likes Halloween so much that they started shopping in costume on October 3rd.

Well, it was a covid thing.  A shopper had donned some kind of robe/caftan type garment.  Except it looked like it was homemade from bedsheets.  It went all the way to the ankles, long sleeves, and had a hood.

Now here is what I don't get...  If you are so concerned about covid then how is it that you are willing to go shopping in that get up but cannot pick up or deliver your groceries.  We were literally standing in a grocery store that does pick up.  And its a grocery store where most of the stuff that isn't in the pick up options, ie disinfectant wipes, lysol, etc., is available in the "ship" option.  How can someone be able to work out how to sew what is basically a full body mask to go to the store but can't figure out how not to go to the store.

Then I started thinking less of humanity and started wondering if this was a person with covid who was really sick of quarantine and really wanted to get out of the house and used a full body mask as a way to justify to themselves that they weren't a terrible person because they had taken precautions.

Either way, I kept my distance.

Both pickup (where an in-store employee "shops" for you) and delivery (where a contracted service shops for you) are expensive. I HATE grocery shopping and am racked with anxiety when I go, but cannot afford the upcharges and fees that come with pickup and delivery.

I can't answer what Ghost Person was doing there (maybe they were wearing the sheets I took to Goodwill when I sold my futon), but that's why I have to go to the store. I send my boyfriend occasionally but he overspends.

Edited by bilgistic · Reason: Missed a quotation mark
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53 minutes ago, bilgistic said:

Both pickup (where an in-store employee "shops for you) and delivery (where a contracted service shops for you) are expensive. I HATE grocery shopping and am racked with anxiety when I go, but cannot afford the upcharges and fees that come with pickup and delivery.

I'm sorry to hear that. This particular store / chain has waived all the fees and the pickup prices are the same as the shopping in store since covid started.  That is why I don't really get it.  Delivery is extra because its a contracted service.

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Yeah, curbside grocery pickup is free at all my local stores too. Well, the grocery stores that offer pickup anyway.

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Curbside pick-up is not free at my store. I can afford it, just want to pick out my own food.

ETA: And the only delivery we can get is Domino's. No one else delivers, not even the delivery services.

Edited by chessiegal
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Pick up at many stores around here is free.  But at my preferred stores, it's an upcharge.  I first used it a few years ago when I got a sprained ankle.  When COVID hit, I got a multi-month subscription which reduces the cost to $2/pickup if I go once a week.  Less if I subscribe for longer. 

I don't want to go anywhere that I can't pop in and out quickly or can't control mask wearing.

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10 hours ago, ParadoxLost said:

...Either way, I kept my distance.

and shopper dressed like ghost notices you (and everyone else) keeping your distance and says to self: Mission accomplished

😉

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Our neighborhood grocery store (regional chain) offered their shopping/pick-up service at no charge for one month, back in April or May, and it was such a disaster, that I gave up after two or three tries.  I had to make three trips the first time, to get everything I paid for (yeah, third time was my fault I guess).  They then resumed their $4.95 fee after that raging success. 🙄 I believe they offered an annual subscription to the pick-up service for a $30 or $40 annual charge, which is a helluva deal if you're a frequent user, but again, potluck on what you'll get.  They offer delivery for $15, but we only live about two blocks away, and I would have to be at death's door to use that service.  

We have a Walmart in the area that offers pick-up, but I'm not clear what they charge if anything.  I have avoided Walmart like the plague pandemic, because well, it's Walmart.

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I've been using Instacart and GrubHub/restaurant delivery since March. I am fortunate enough to still be working from home and can't walk without pain. Just getting to and from the car to get into an eye appointment yesterday was excruciating (hip surgery next month will perhaps fix it). However, I hate shopping and can thankfully afford it right now, so I'll probably continue with delivery or pick-up as long as I can. Some of the stores wave the delivery fee if you order enough--so ordering every 2 weeks usually gets me over the fee. The tip can really raise the overall cost but I'm OK with that because 1. my time costs a lot more and 2. someone has a job.

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