Candiace Dillard Bassett: Ducking Purses Since 2018

[spunky]

11 minutes ago, drivethroo said:

I think the squabbles with cast members actually hurts Chris a lot more than Candiace.  He feels he's being nice to them, they're friends but then he turns on the tv, turns on the social media and they're shading Candiace, they're shading him, they're insulting him etc.

He wants to be friends with these people but these people are not his friends.  Candiace is learning that and it's high time Chris learn that too.

I think both he and Candiace mistakenly taught Gizelle was their friend. They're both learning that she's not. He's not only hurt by the whole "Candiace is broke and I don't trust Candiace" shade Gizelle is throwing, I think the comment about her being okay with Mia hitting her really hurt him. He said there were days where Candiace couldn't get out of bed because of former cast member and her merry band of bloggers. As someone said in his comments, by that logic,  Candiace should have punched Mia on site for insinuating that she had sex with him. Also his family and friends watch the show because they're on it and they're not happy with the editing.

[RealReality]

1 hour ago, Yours Truly said:

You hit the nail on the head... Non physically and with no injury... LOL!

I love this: "Might end up with a unexpected, but PREDICTABLE L". Exactly! Although at this point, and with what CandyAss has already experienced it shouldn't be so unexpected now. 

For me it's this magical place people seem to want to live in which is great and all but to be so stubborn about the reality of other side doesn't make sense. I could even understand that different environments breed different expectations which tracks but CandyASS had her little safe bubble burst last season and yet here we are with her swinging for the fences again. Like, little girl, ain't nothing wrong with taking a step back and reevaluating your method of handling things. For your OWN benefit. Good Grief! 

Point is, people can wax poetic all day and all night but there is such a thing as inviting unnecessary risk into your life and for the life of me I can't understand why CandyASS doesn't exercise a bit more thought in how she chooses to go about her dealings on this show. It's the thick skull that bugs me. Well that and she does seem to have one of the most meanspirited energies among the women. Obviously, they are all catty and have their messy, rude moments and storylines but with CandyASS there's a level of ugly that I just can't stomach. 

 

Is unnecessary risk determined by the result? 

Because what gizelle did to Karen was much lower than what candace said about mias mom, IMO.  

Ashley picking on a mentally unstable woman seems much lower, much less necessary and much riskier than anything candace has said or done. 

If wendy had actually dragged gizelle would the general consensus be that gizelle must have taken unnecessary risks because she got physically attacked?  Or that gizelle lives in a fantasy land when she imagined she could talk shit about someone's marriage and husband and not get her ass handed to her?

I'm going to try to put this in the candace thread but am not sure how. 

Edited November 10, 2021 by RealReality

[WhatAmIWatching]

Responding to yours truly from the episode thread:

  From my perspective, I don't believe Candiace is verbally abusive. Verbally provocative? Yes! Picking and choosing words to hit the maximum amount of the other person's buttons? Yep! She sure knows how to zero in on someone's hot spots, it's impressive.

When I've been in a situation where someone's trying like mad to hit my buttons, I refuse to give them the satisfaction of a reaction and walk my ass away (and don't keep coming back into the room to lob verbal grenades or keep adding addendums). I've also laughed like what they've said is the funniest thing ever, no matter how inwardly mad I am. Sometimes I have no reaction at all, and that will make the steam from their ears almost visible lol.

 What I've observed from watching her, is that she doesn't start the shit, she just responds to the shit thrown at her. Why do the others feel they need to put her in her place or come after her for everything? Mind you, I don't particularly care for her, as she's a bit too dramatic for me, but I haven't seen her -at least on the show- start the messes.

  She could be like me and laugh it off or walk away instead of engaging in every single little snark lobbed her way, and maybe she'll learn to pick battles as she gets older. It's a little tiresome that she has to fight every single skirmish, but that's a bit of immaturity there, I feel. 

 It makes the other person seethe more if they can't get their confrontation nut if you leave them hanging. (And it's funny imo when they sputter and froth with no outlet. I'm not Velcro and what (general) you spew won't stick to me!) Just like I used to leave the room when my son was a toddler and threw the biggest screaming tantrums. He'd stop as soon as he didn't have his audience, lol.

[eXiled]

1 hour ago, spunky said:

He said not only did she claim Candiace was broke on The Real, she's shading Candiace in all her interviews.  She's probably hoping for a response so that she has a storyline next season.  Meanwhile Candiace is not giving her any attention.

I hope Candiace continues with this strategy. She should never give Gizelle -- a woman who, except for the brief blip of her failed business venture, has had the same storyline for six seasons -- any attention. I said the same about Mo, but we all know how that turned out.

I hate to use boxing jargon here, but it's a quick way to make my point:

Candiace needs to learn that not every verbal jab should be met with a knockout punch. Dance around a thirsty bitch, especially one with a weak verbal punch. That way she won't tire herself out. Gizelle's storyline and reunion record show that her stats have not improved one bit. She can't really hang, yet most of her opponents take themselves out of the competition by allowing Gizelle to get into their heads.

Why? No idea. Of all the women on that show, Gizelle would be the very last one who would bother me. For several reasons. I hope Candiace will take the time to realize that giving Gizelle her Season Seven Storyline would be an unwise move on Candiace's part.

Edited November 10, 2021 by eXiled

[RealReality]

Gizelles entire life looks broke. 

It's hard for me to entertain her nonsense when she had a party on a construction site at her ramshackle frankenhouse.  

When she said that she was still trying to paste on "wings" to that monstrosity I couldn't believe my ears.  

[spunky]

On 11/10/2021 at 6:53 PM, eXiled said:

I hope Candiace continues with this strategy. She should never give Gizelle -- a woman who, except for the brief blip of her failed business venture, has had the same storyline for six seasons -- any attention. I said the same about Mo, but we all know how that turned out.

I hate to use boxing jargon here, but it's a quick way to make my point:

Candiace needs to learn that not every verbal jab should be met with a knockout punch. Dance around a thirsty bitch, especially one with a weak verbal punch. That way she won't tire herself out. Gizelle's storyline and reunion record show that her stats have not improved one bit. She can't really hang, yet most of her opponents take themselves out of the competition by allowing Gizelle to get into their heads.

Why? No idea. Of all the women on that show, Gizelle would be the very last one who would bother me. For several reasons. I hope Candiace will take the time to realize that giving Gizelle her Season Seven Storyline would be an unwise move on Candiace's part.

She's said multiple times that she's learning to meet people where they are, which is why she didn't respond when Gizelle invited Ashley on her trip or questioned her marriage. She said that Gizelle is messy,  so she tries not to feed into that. Hopefully she keeps it up during season 7. Not only with Gizelle, but with Ashley and Mia as well.

Edited November 13, 2021 by spunky

[spunky]

33 minutes ago, RealReality said:

Gizelles entire life looks broke. 

It's hard for me to entertain her nonsense when she had a party on a construction site at her ramshackle frankenhouse.  

When she said that she was still trying to paste on "wings" to that monstrosity I couldn't believe my ears.  

That house is a disaster.  She's lucky no one was injured during her "party".

[Yours Truly]

I love all the logic applied to the whole right is right wrong is wrong which is all well and good. And yeah, Gizelle said this and Ashley did that and surely all that warranted blah blah blah if we want to compare this that and the other but as I recall CandyAss is the only one to ever get dragged on this franchise. 
 

My observations simply point out that no amount of rallying around CandyAss or moral posturing is gonna change the circumstances and outcomes she creates for herself. Nothing wrong with pointing out that she would also benefit from some restraint. No one is saying she has to become a mute just that she may want to try some new tactics. I don’t know about anyone else but if a particular method of provocative and distasteful behavior landed me in a beat down situation then it only stands to reason that, moving forward, I should probably refrain from or at least tone down that particular mode of operation. 

At this point it’s comical and worth mocking cause she really ain’t getting a clue. Mainly because her obnoxious arrogance keeps her from understanding the bigger picture. If That’s the slippery slope she wants to stay on then hey.. Good luck with that. 

[spunky]

Chris did another Instagram live last night. He intended for it to be a discussion about food but it quickly turned into another RHOP Q&A, because Chris is easily distracted.

1.His family loves and adores Candiace.  They may even love her more than they love him.

2. His family does NOT  have a problem with Candiace's mouth.  They know that his mouth is  just as or even more reckless than Candiace.

3. He knew she was the one for him because she is patient with him. He can be very selfish and is a bad communicator. She understands that and is willing to work with him.

4. They're learning to communicate more effectively.  They both realize that they'll eventually become tired of each other  if they continue doing what they're doing.

5. He wants to publish his cookbook but is afraid that it won't do well in bookstores, because well known chefs already have their cookbooks on sale.

6. Candiace expected him to use the RHOP platform to push his projects.

7. They are very passionate when they argue ,but are even more passionate when they make up (which is the fun part).

8. Candiace graduates in 6 months.

ETA: Candiace is funny and sweet most of the time. For some reason the show only focuses on her becoming upset. 

Edited November 11, 2021 by spunky

[Hiyo]

Quote

because Chris is easily distracted.

Why does that not surprise me?

[qtpye]

16 hours ago, drivethroo said:

And before anyone says "But Karen & Gizelle have dark skinned daughters and Karen, Gizelle and Mia have dark skinned husbands so they can't be colorist," Thomas Jefferson didn't think black people were equal to white people but he made several children with a black woman.  Strom Thurmond too.

My cousin is light-skinned and gorgeous like Gizelle (the two do not always go hand and hand as some people think).

She is also extremely colorist. When we were growing up, colorism was not talked about as much as it is today. She openly looked down on us girls that were darker and sadly, some ignorant ass members of my family actually backed her up.

Anyway, this cousin ONLY dated darker skin men because they put her up on a pedestal in a way that lighter skin men and white men never did.

She married a rich doctor and had an ego that of course, HER DAUGHTER would be light. When her daughter came out the exact same rich dark shade as her husband, she went into a depression. Instead of celebrating that she had a beautiful baby girl, she could only focus on the skin tone. She loves her daughter now but she still is the same colorist asshole that she has always been.

Getting back to Candiace, I do think she pays a price for being a brown-skinned woman who grew up with privilege, though that does not excuse her behavior.

I think she actually thought that Gizelle cared about her in her altercation with Monique and now realizes that with Monique gone, the GEB will make her their target.

I can not help but notice that the light-skinned members of the class have had fake storylines for years and do not get called out:

• Robyn-Her fake relationship with her supposed fiancé, Juan, and I kind of like Robyn.
• Ashley-Her fake relationship with her obviously bisexual (not that there is anything wrong with that) husband, who is not interested in her. My problem is Michael likes to grab people and then plead innocent "because that's how they do things in Australia" which any Australian can tell you is bullshit
• Gizelle-Her insistence that Jamal gives a damn about her beyond taking care of her daughters. She will probably be dating George Glass next season and we will never see him because he lives in Canada.

I hope Chris and Candice do have a strong relationship because reality shows are marriage killers.

 

 

[Yours Truly]

17 hours ago, RealReality said:

Is unnecessary risk determined by the result? 

Because what gizelle did to Karen was much lower than what candace said about mias mom, IMO.  

Ashley picking on a mentally unstable woman seems much lower, much less necessary and much riskier than anything candace has said or done. 

If wendy had actually dragged gizelle would the general consensus be that gizelle must have taken unnecessary risks because she got physically attacked?  Or that gizelle lives in a fantasy land when she imagined she could talk shit about someone's marriage and husband and not get her ass handed to her?

I'm going to try to put this in the candace thread but am not sure how. 

Thing is none of these scenarios ended in a physical altercation. Why? Because what CandyAss does is NOT the same as what the other cast members do. No one is saying that the other women DON'T have distasteful antics. Hell I can't stand Gizelle and think she's the biggest mean girl out there. Same goes for boring Robyn who continues to look stank even when she's smiling and in a pleasant mood. 

However, shade IS expected and some of it is honestly comical. I don't like it when they take it too far or touch on subjects that are over the line and should be off limits and no I don't think someone should get back slapped if an occurrence of overstepping does occur but if overstepping DOES happen I'm all for a reading rainbow read session and hope someone has the skillset to do just that. That's the big draw of the show and that's within the scope of what the other cast members do.

CandyAss has a different approach. How many times have we seen any of the other women on this franchise (Potomac) conduct themselves in a physically threatening manner? I mean, I've watched on and off so it's very possible that I've missed a thing or two. I think I recall Robyn stepping to someone with the bring it on attitude but other than that altercations at that level aren't really common place (and shouldn't be).  There's a difference between the shade the barbs and the low key showdowns they have. Yes, there have been heated conversations and tempers flaring but it isn't very often or frequent that these women are going toe to toe revving to take it to the next level disrespecting personal space. Just sayin'.

How many times has CandyAss taken it from throwing shade, making digs to trying to "square up" with someone? The others don't really make it a habit of getting up in people's faces, finger wagging, waving objects and having to be dragged away, sat on, held down etc. etc. Who do we constantly, and the key word is CONSTANTLY, see needing this kind of intervention over and over again...?? hmmmmm.. Now, If that isn't considered obvious volatility and aggressive behavior then shoot I can only guess that it's just willful denial at this point. 

Edited November 11, 2021 by Yours Truly

[spunky]

54 minutes ago, qtpye said:

My cousin is light-skinned and gorgeous like Gizelle (the two do not always go hand and hand as some people think).

She is also extremely colorist. When we were growing up, colorism was not talked about as much as it is today. She openly looked down on us girls that were darker and sadly, some ignorant ass members of my family actually backed her up.

Anyway, this cousin ONLY dated darker skin men because they put her up on a pedestal in a way that lighter skin men and white men never did.

She married a rich doctor and had an ego that of course, HER DAUGHTER would be light. When her daughter came out the exact same rich dark shade as her husband, she went into a depression. Instead of celebrating that she had a beautiful baby girl, she could only focus on the skin tone. She loves her daughter now but she still is the same colorist asshole that she has always been.

Getting back to Candiace, I do think she pays a price for being a brown-skinned woman who grew up with privilege, though that does not excuse her behavior.

I think she actually thought that Gizelle cared about her in her altercation with Monique and now realizes that with Monique gone, the GEB will make her their target.

I can not help but notice that the light-skinned members of the class have had fake storylines for years and do not get called out:

• Robyn-Her fake relationship with her supposed fiancé, Juan, and I kind of like Robyn.
• Ashley-Her fake relationship with her obviously bisexual (not that there is anything wrong with that) husband, who is not interested in her. My problem is Michael likes to grab people and then plead innocent "because that's how they do things in Australia" which any Australian can tell you is bullshit
• Gizelle-Her insistence that Jamal gives a damn about her beyond taking care of her daughters. She will probably be dating George Glass next season and we will never see him because he lives in Canada.

I hope Chris and Candice do have a strong relationship because reality shows are marriage killers.

 

 

Colorism is a big thing in the Caribbean as well. I grew up hearing things like "so they black (dark skinned) so they ugly." I met a fellow Caribbean man the other day and the first thing out of his mouth was "You're a yellow bone, I like yellow bones. Yellow bones are supposed to like dark skinned men like me." He didn't have a snowball's chance in hell after that.

Chris said he and Candiace always have discussions about what was said and done during filming. They agreed to always communicate with each other, good or bad.

[drivethroo]

57 minutes ago, spunky said:

Chris did another Instagram live last night. He intended for it to be a discussion about food but it quickly turned into another RHOP Q&A, because Chris is easily distracted.

That's because no one cares about his food (which is HIS fault).  They only want to know about RHOP.

He should do like Candiace, Kandi and Todd have been telling him to do, which is promote his business during the show.

58 minutes ago, spunky said:

5. He wants to publish his cookbook but is afraid that it won't do well in bookstores, because well known chefs already have their cookbooks on sale.

Chris should know a lot of those cookbooks are trash.  If he doesn't want to sell it in stores, self publish it on Amazon or do an e-cookbook.  He could do a mini free e-cookbook as a teaser, then use that to sell the customer a physical copy on Amazon.

1 hour ago, spunky said:

8. Candiace graduates in 6 months.

Which is why she needs to pay all those women dust next season.  The majority of the cast + Andy will be working overtime next season to get her off of the show because it has become the Candiace show (BRAVO would be stupid to let her go).  Half of the viewers are watching so they can hate Candiace. As I've said before, if Candiace is fired for S7, there will be a cast shakeup for S8 because the spotlight will be how half of the cast brings nothing to the table & has nothing going on and they won't be able to hide it behind Candiace anymore.

Candiace, make your cast mates earn their paychecks without involving you in it!  And you better be negotiating a raise for S7.

32 minutes ago, qtpye said:

Anyway, this cousin ONLY dated darker skin men because they put her up on a pedestal in a way that lighter skin men and white men never did.

I think this is Gizelle's situation.  G already stated he likes "white girls."   Ray probably liked having the prize of a light skinned younger wife too.

 

38 minutes ago, qtpye said:

Getting back to Candiace, I do think she pays a price for being a brown-skinned woman who grew up with privilege, though that does not excuse her behavior.

Which is funny because the cast members who have a problem with Candiace's privilege all have deep brown skinned daughters.  They are literally raising the next generation of Candiace's.

39 minutes ago, qtpye said:

I think she actually thought that Gizelle cared about her in her altercation with Monique and now realizes that with Monique gone, the GEB will make her their target.

Gizelle, Robyn and Ashley could've been all edited out of the last 5 episodes and nobody would've noticed and the action would've rolled along without them.  So they're going to invite Mia to join the Light Skinned Coalition to get rid of Candiace (and Wendy).

57 minutes ago, qtpye said:

I can not help but notice that the light-skinned members of the class have had fake storylines for years and do not get called out:

They get called out but then Candiace has drama with somebody so all of the focus is on Candiace, while they slide under the radar.  They're in a pickle because if Candiace stays, the focus is on her and not them.  But if they get rid of Candiace, the focus will be on them and and not her and that's not going to be good for them in their current states of nothingness.

1 minute ago, spunky said:

Chris said he and Candiace always have discussions about what was said and done during filming. They agreed to always communicate with each other, good or bad.

This is what I want from Candiace for S7:

• Dorothy can't come around for S7
• Chris/Candiace should film a scene at the counselor to learn better ways of communication
• Host an album listening party at her house with an amazing array of food (prepared by Chris). Invite Robyn (but not Gizelle).  Don't invite Mia or Ashley.  When Gizelle questions it, lightly say "Oh, I was going broke and had to trim the guest list, but next time, right?"
• Have a shopping scene with Wendy & Askale (if Askale comes back)
• Mia, Ashley and Gizelle should all be paid DUST next season 
• Make those women work for their paychecks without involving her

[spunky]

3 minutes ago, drivethroo said:

That's because no one cares about his food (which is HIS fault).  They only want to know about RHOP.

He should do like Candiace, Kandi and Todd have been telling him to do, which is promote his business during the show.

Chris should know a lot of those cookbooks are trash.  If he doesn't want to sell it in stores, self publish it on Amazon or do an e-cookbook.  He could do a mini free e-cookbook as a teaser, then use that to sell the customer a physical copy on Amazon.

Which is why she needs to pay all those women dust next season.  The majority of the cast + Andy will be working overtime next season to get her off of the show because it has become the Candiace show (BRAVO would be stupid to let her go).  Half of the viewers are watching so they can hate Candiace. As I've said before, if Candiace is fired for S7, there will be a cast shakeup for S8 because the spotlight will be how half of the cast brings nothing to the table & has nothing going on and they won't be able to hide it behind Candiace anymore.

Candiace, make your cast mates earn their paychecks without involving you in it!  And you better be negotiating a raise for S7.

I think this is Gizelle's situation.  G already stated he likes "white girls."   Ray probably liked having the prize of a light skinned younger wife too.

 

Which is funny because the cast members who have a problem with Candiace's privilege all have deep brown skinned daughters.  They are literally raising the next generation of Candiace's.

Gizelle, Robyn and Ashley could've been all edited out of the last 5 episodes and nobody would've noticed and the action would've rolled along without them.  So they're going to invite Mia to join the Light Skinned Coalition to get rid of Candiace (and Wendy).

They get called out but then Candiace has drama with somebody so all of the focus is on Candiace, while they slide under the radar.  They're in a pickle because if Candiace stays, the focus is on her and not them.  But if they get rid of Candiace, the focus will be on them and and not her and that's not going to be good for them in their current states of nothingness.

This is what I want from Candiace for S7:

• Dorothy can't come around for S7
• Chris/Candiace should film a scene at the counselor to learn better ways of communication
• Host an album listening party at her house with an amazing array of food (prepared by Chris). Invite Robyn (but not Gizelle).  Don't invite Mia or Ashley.  When Gizelle questions it, lightly say "Oh, I was going broke and had to trim the guest list, but next time, right?"
• Have a shopping scene with Wendy & Askale (if Askale comes back)
• Mia, Ashley and Gizelle should all be paid DUST next season 
• Make those women work for their paychecks without involving her

All of this. 👐🏽

[spunky]

2 hours ago, Hiyo said:

Why does that not surprise me?

My jaw hit the floor when he said he has a new idea everyday and Candiace is very supportive of all of them.  She's probably secretly hoping that he picks one and sticks with it.

[RealReality]

3 hours ago, Yours Truly said:

Thing is none of these scenarios ended in a physical altercation. Why? Because what CandyAss does is NOT the same as what the other cast members do. No one is saying that the other women DON'T have distasteful antics. Hell I can't stand Gizelle and think she's the biggest mean girl out there. Same goes for boring Robyn who continues to look stank even when she's smiling and in a pleasant mood. 

However, shade IS expected and some of it is honestly comical. I don't like it when they take it too far or touch on subjects that are over the line and should be off limits and no I don't think someone should get back slapped if an occurrence of overstepping does occur but if overstepping DOES happen I'm all for a reading rainbow read session and hope someone has the skillset to do just that. That's the big draw of the show and that's within the scope of what the other cast members do.

CandyAss has a different approach. How many times have we seen any of the other women on this franchise (Potomac) conduct themselves in a physically threatening manner? I mean, I've watched on and off so it's very possible that I've missed a thing or two. I think I recall Robyn stepping to someone with the bring it on attitude but other than that altercations at that level aren't really common place (and shouldn't be).  There's a difference between the shade the barbs and the low key showdowns they have. Yes, there have been heated conversations and tempers flaring but it isn't very often or frequent that these women are going toe to toe revving to take it to the next level disrespecting personal space. Just sayin'.

How many times has CandyAss taken it from throwing shade, making digs to trying to "square up" with someone? The others don't really make it a habit of getting up in people's faces, finger wagging, waving objects and having to be dragged away, sat on, held down etc. etc. Who do we constantly, and the key word is CONSTANTLY, see needing this kind of intervention over and over again...?? hmmmmm.. Now, If that isn't considered obvious volatility and aggressive behavior then shoot I can only guess that it's just willful denial at this point. 

Okay, so then the result determines how bad the words are. 

In other words, if someone gets hit, they MUST have "taken it to the next level"

Because saying there must be something particularly wrong with what candace says or does because she is the only one who for physically attacked sounds like just that.  

Even though multiple cast members have done way worse and haven't gotten beaten.  

If gizelle or Ashley had been attacked then it would have meant that they had "taken it to the next level?" 

Mia had repeatedly invaded personal space and so has Robyn.  So, by your definition, they too were "taking it to the next level"  

Mia, in one season, has done this multiple times and robyn has at least done it twice.  Robyn went so far as to chase after monique daring her to fight. 

Anyone who is physically violent can argue that they were "provoked" into it.  There were a lot of "what did you say to him girl?" type comments when pictures of Rhiannas busted face went public.  

 

Candace hasn't been dragged away for being physically aggressive or violent.  Chris has already said that he tries to ger candace to leave because people like Ashley and Mia are trying to use her for a moment.  

And LOL, I guess candace wasn't so "physically aggressive" that Ashley went right back into her house after being TOLD to leave. 

Ashley literally invaded someone's personal space after having been told to stop and leave.  Yet someone she didn't "take it to the next level?"  

I mostly mention this so people consider whether they are applying the same standards to everyone on the show.  Because it sure doesn't seem like it to me. 

Edited November 11, 2021 by RealReality

[Mr. Miner]

3 hours ago, drivethroo said:

Have a shopping scene with Wendy & Askale (if Askale comes back)

I wish they would just dump Wendy and let Askale take her place.

[Yours Truly]

1 hour ago, RealReality said:

Okay, so then the result determines how bad the words are. 

In other words, if someone gets hit, they MUST have "taken it to the next level"

Because saying there must be something particularly wrong with what candace says or does because she is the only one who for physically attacked sounds like just that.  

Even though multiple cast members have done way worse and haven't gotten beaten.  

If gizelle or Ashley had been attacked then it would have meant that they had "taken it to the next level?" 

Mia had repeatedly invaded personal space and so has Robyn.  So, by your definition, they too were "taking it to the next level"  

Mia, in one season, has done this multiple times and robyn has at least done it twice.  Robyn went so far as to chase after monique daring her to fight. 

Anyone who is physically violent can argue that they were "provoked" into it.  There were a lot of "what did you say to him girl?" type comments when pictures of Rhiannas busted face went public.  

 

Candace hasn't been dragged away for being physically aggressive or violent.  Chris has already said that he tries to ger candace to leave because people like Ashley and Mia are trying to use her for a moment.  

And LOL, I guess candace wasn't so "physically aggressive" that Ashley went right back into her house after being TOLD to leave. 

Ashley literally invaded someone's personal space after having been told to stop and leave.  Yet someone she didn't "take it to the next level?"  

I mostly mention this so people consider whether they are applying the same standards to everyone on the show.  Because it sure doesn't seem like it to me. 

TO THE BOLDED:

There in lies the point. Ashley didn't smack her ass back in her chair when she jumped up and towered over sitting Ashley with A butter knife. 

However Monique dragged that bitch and put a serious hurting on her just for a hair flick.

You never know how someone is going to receive aggressive behavior. Some may just laugh it off and others will take it as a threat and slam your head on a table. 

I mean, if CandyAss want to take that gamble that's well within her rights. If at the end of the day, knowing that she has a rally of supporters in her corner soothes that fat lip and black eye then hey. More power to her. 

I guess... 

--------

I don't get these hypotheticals. I'm speaking on what HAS transpired on the show and not the whole What if scenarios that keep derailing the point.  The behavior that I've actually seen her engage in. I'm not trying to rewrite anything. Just calling it like I see it. 

This ain't no precendent for court proceedings and this ain't for no law journal. Just my lil ole opinion Lol. 

I've explained what my reasoning is in CandyAss's case and her actual nonsense. It doesn't apply to some mythical world or alternative universe where somehow this creates "grounds" for some Gizelle and Mia UFC encounter or Karen and Robyn 13 round MSG title fight or Ashley and Askala Royal Rumble. My definition of things aren't based on the spinning and spinning and spinning of what is obviously ugly behavior.  I don't condone how CandyAss has conducted herself and I don't turn that into how current events should have then dictated what went down in past encounters with other wives in different situations.  I don't look for angles to let her behavior pass and maybe that's just me. 

Case closed, court adjourned. LOL! 

 

 

Edited November 11, 2021 by Yours Truly

[spunky]

37 minutes ago, RealReality said:

Okay, so then the result determines how bad the words are. 

In other words, if someone gets hit, they MUST have "taken it to the next level"

Because saying there must be something particularly wrong with what candace says or does because she is the only one who for physically attacked sounds like just that.  

Even though multiple cast members have done way worse and haven't gotten beaten.  

If gizelle or Ashley had been attacked then it would have meant that they had "taken it to the next level?" 

Mia had repeatedly invaded personal space and so has Robyn.  So, by your definition, they too were "taking it to the next level"  

Mia, in one season, has done this multiple times and robyn has at least done it twice.  Robyn went so far as to chase after monique daring her to fight. 

Anyone who is physically violent can argue that they were "provoked" into it.  There were a lot of "what did you say to him girl?" type comments when pictures of Rhiannas busted face went public.  

 

Candace hasn't been dragged away for being physically aggressive or violent.  Chris has already said that he tries to ger candace to leave because people like Ashley and Mia are trying to use her for a moment.  

And LOL, I guess candace wasn't so "physically aggressive" that Ashley went right back into her house after being TOLD to leave. 

Ashley literally invaded someone's personal space after having been told to stop and leave.  Yet someone she didn't "take it to the next level?"  

I mostly mention this so people consider whether they are applying the same standards to everyone on the show.  Because it sure doesn't seem like it to me. 

Violence is only acceptable when it's Candiace.  Everyone else can do what they want.  In some states Ashley would have been shot for entering Candiace’s home after she was told to leave.  

[charliesan]

4 hours ago, drivethroo said:

This is what I want from Candiace for S7:

• Dorothy can't come around for S7
• Chris/Candiace should film a scene at the counselor to learn better ways of communication
• Host an album listening party at her house with an amazing array of food (prepared by Chris). Invite Robyn (but not Gizelle).  Don't invite Mia or Ashley.  When Gizelle questions it, lightly say "Oh, I was going broke and had to trim the guest list, but next time, right?"
• Have a shopping scene with Wendy & Askale (if Askale comes back)
• Mia, Ashley and Gizelle should all be paid DUST next season 
• Make those women work for their paychecks without involving her

100% agree on everything. 

This is the thing for me, Candiace is the only one that has anything going on in her real life, she could easily have half her scenes with just herself and Chris (without Dorothy please) and living her life, I can already see the "plots": will she pass all of her exams? Does she get along with her class? Have a graduation party; is her singing career taking off? Is she really singing live? If she makes a club appearance will people come? Etc. 

I find Michael to be disgusting but no way would Ashley be still on the show without him, Robyn has been dancing around a wedding for several seasons and now they're trying to make a new storyline about her having another child, but her only real worth to the show is being Gizelle's bodyguard, oh, and I think everyone has said enough about Gizelle for a lifetime. 

I do like Candiace and I see that the other women antagonize her intentionally, however, she's more than a willing participant so at the end I do think she's just as guilty, she needs to control her emotions and pick her battles, if she did, her life would be MUCH easier on the show and off. 

[RealReality]

1 hour ago, Yours Truly said:

TO THE BOLDED:

There in lies the point. Ashley didn't smack her ass back in her chair when she jumped up and towered over sitting Ashley with A butter knife. 

However Monique dragged that bitch and put a serious hurting on her just for a hair flick.

You never know how someone is going to receive aggressive behavior. Some may just laugh it off and others will take it as a threat and slam your head on a table. 

I mean, if CandyAss want to take that gamble that's well within her rights. If at the end of the day, knowing that she has a rally of supporters in her corner soothes that fat lip and black eye then hey. More power to her. 

I guess... 

--------

I don't get these hypotheticals. I'm speaking on what HAS transpired on the show and not the whole What if scenarios that keep derailing the point.  The behavior that I've actually seen her engage in. I'm not trying to rewrite anything. Just calling it like I see it. 

This ain't no precendent for court proceedings and this ain't for no law journal. Just my lil ole opinion Lol. 

I've explained what my reasoning is in CandyAss's case and her actual nonsense. It doesn't apply to some mythical world or alternative universe where somehow this creates "grounds" for some Gizelle and Mia UFC encounter or Karen and Robyn 13 round MSG title fight or Ashley and Askala Royal Rumble. My definition of things aren't based on the spinning and spinning and spinning of what is obviously ugly behavior.  I don't condone how CandyAss has conducted herself and I don't turn that into how current events should have then dictated what went down in past encounters with other wives in different situations.  I don't look for angles to let her behavior pass and maybe that's just me. 

Case closed, court adjourned. LOL! 

 

 

Guess it wasnt very aggressive at all since, by your logic, the reaction determines whether someone's words or actions crossed a line.  

So there are no real rules, since you'll determine the propriety of the words AFTER the response to the words. 

In which case,  you're kinda saying that everyone who is physically attacked for speaking had it coming.  

And that, to me, is an extremely dangerous mindset. 

*****************

Long story short, everyone takes a risk that they will encounter a violent weirdo and if the idea is that you have to curb yourself because you could get attacked you're on the way to only allowing the physically strongest people to speak.  And that, again to me, is an extremely dangerous position.  

***************

You mention hypotheticald but a lot of your reasoning rests on the hypothetical reactions of hypothetical people. 

You say that there are people in the world who would beat candace for what she says and does on the show, but those are all hypothetical people in hypothetical situations.  

The reason I mention the hypotheticals is because the biggest reason I've ever heard that candace is doing anything so terrible to deserve a beating is because she was previously physically attacked and because hypothetical "people" would also physically attack her for what 

No one really has any other reason that can stand up to even mild scrutiny.  

The reasons I've seen range from "candace takes low blows so she should get beat because if she was in the streets some people would beat her ass"

Okay, but gizelle took very low blows with Karen.  Ashley took low blows with Katie and with Karen (by making prison rape jokes about ray). 

Now it's "well candace physically invades people's space" 

Okay, well Mia has repeatedly done this and so has Robyn.  And technically so has Ashley, who kept showing up someplace she was specifically told to leave.  

So, to me, if none of these reasons stand up to scrutiny it shows that there are simply different rules applied to candace.  And that's cool but to me, it's dangerous to rely on any reasoning that includes "well, she got beat before so if she gets beat again it's her fault"

 

 

 

 

[Yours Truly]

15 minutes ago, RealReality said:

Guess it wasnt very aggressive at all since, by your logic, the reaction determines whether someone's words or actions crossed a line.  

So there are no real rules, since you'll determine the propriety of the words AFTER the response to the words. 

In which case,  you're kinda saying that everyone who is physically attacked for speaking had it coming.  

And that, to me, is an extremely dangerous mindset. 

*****************

Long story short, everyone takes a risk that they will encounter a violent weirdo and if the idea is that you have to curb yourself because you could get attacked you're on the way to only allowing the physically strongest people to speak.  And that, again to me, is an extremely dangerous position.  

***************

You mention hypotheticald but a lot of your reasoning rests on the hypothetical reactions of hypothetical people. 

You say that there are people in the world who would beat candace for what she says and does on the show, but those are all hypothetical people in hypothetical situations.  

The reason I mention the hypotheticals is because the biggest reason I've ever heard that candace is doing anything so terrible to deserve a beating is because she was previously physically attacked and because hypothetical "people" would also physically attack her for what 

No one really has any other reason that can stand up to even mild scrutiny.  

The reasons I've seen range from "candace takes low blows so she should get beat because if she was in the streets some people would beat her ass"

Okay, but gizelle took very low blows with Karen.  Ashley took low blows with Katie and with Karen (by making prison rape jokes about ray). 

Now it's "well candace physically invades people's space" 

Okay, well Mia has repeatedly done this and so has Robyn.  And technically so has Ashley, who kept showing up someplace she was specifically told to leave.  

So, to me, if none of these reasons stand up to scrutiny it shows that there are simply different rules applied to candace.  And that's cool but to me, it's dangerous to rely on any reasoning that includes "well, she got beat before so if she gets beat again it's her fault"

 

 

 

 

One more time. MY WORDS and opinions ARE BASED on what has ACTUALLY happened on the show. 

I used actual people who WE SAW received her differently. Ashley and Monique. So how is that hypothetical??? I'm dizzy.

Annnnnnywaaay,

So basically,

Reword, reinterpret and retell my post 

in your words? Claiming they are my thoughts...

Okay then..

Moving on...

Edited November 11, 2021 by Yours Truly

[RealReality]

22 minutes ago, charliesan said:

100% agree on everything. 

This is the thing for me, Candiace is the only one that has anything going on in her real life, she could easily have half her scenes with just herself and Chris (without Dorothy please) and living her life, I can already see the "plots": will she pass all of her exams? Does she get along with her class? Have a graduation party; is her singing career taking off? Is she really singing live? If she makes a club appearance will people come? Etc. 

I find Michael to be disgusting but no way would Ashley be still on the show without him, Robyn has been dancing around a wedding for several seasons and now they're trying to make a new storyline about her having another child, but her only real worth to the show is being Gizelle's bodyguard, oh, and I think everyone has said enough about Gizelle for a lifetime. 

I do like Candiace and I see that the other women antagonize her intentionally, however, she's more than a willing participant so at the end I do think she's just as guilty, she needs to control her emotions and pick her battles, if she did, her life would be MUCH easier on the show and off. 

I really was hoping that we'd see more of candace pursuing her MBA.  

I wanted to meet her classmates because I'm sure a few of them are interesting and run the gamut from rich to poor, politically connected, prior work experience, etc, etc.  

I also just love college campuses so I would have enjoyed some scenes filmed there.  Although apparently Howard has some problems with their dorms. 

I think candace is an EQUAL participant.  My issue comes with the implication that she is so much worse and deserves beatings.  

 

[RealReality]

1 minute ago, Yours Truly said:

6 hours ago, Yours Truly said:

Thing is none of these scenarios ended in a physical altercation. Why? Because what CandyAss does is NOT the same as what the other cast members do. 

 

 

7 minutes ago, Yours Truly said:

So basically,

Reword, reinterpret and retell my post 

I don't see how I've misinterpreted what you've said.  

What you're saying is that candace MUST be doing something out of bounds or particularly egregious because she was physically assaulted. 

To me, it's a backwards logic that posits that what candace must be doing something particularly bad because she was physically attacked. 

I think that's a dangerous position but not an uncommon one.  
 

[Yours Truly]

6 minutes ago, RealReality said:

 

I don't see how I've misinterpreted what you've said.  

What you're saying is that candace MUST be doing something out of bounds or particularly egregious because she was physically assaulted. 

To me, it's a backwards logic that posits that what candace must be doing something particularly bad because she was physically attacked. 

I think that's a dangerous position but not an uncommon one.  
 

I got nothing.

Good luck to CandyAss and all of her saintly behavior that has nothing to do with the consequences that she faces. None what so ever. 

I surrender. 

1+1=5 and that is fine by me!

LOL... :-)

[StillHere]

5 hours ago, drivethroo said:

This is what I want from Candiace for S7:

•  A transition to the more fitting WE's Marriage Boot Camp Reality Stars. Chris would be in hog heaven to be in the company of the likes of Lyrika and A1.

[RealReality]

1 hour ago, Yours Truly said:

I got nothing.

Good luck to CandyAss and all of her saintly behavior that has nothing to do with the consequences that she faces. None what so ever. 

 

I wish them ALL luck and the restraint and maturity not to respond to words with physical violence, since they chose to be on a show about verbal shit slinging.  

I haven't looked for saints since touched by an angel was cancelled. LOL.  

1 hour ago, StillHere said:

•  A transition to the more fitting WE's Marriage Boot Camp Reality Stars. Chris would be in hog heaven to be in the company of the likes of Lyrika and A1.

Are they on that show?  That man is truly unappealing and he should be thanking god every day he found a woman who wanted to settle down with a man wearing THOSE pearls.  

Like I'm about making a statement about gender but the stuff A1 wears is so embarrassingly tacky.  

I wonder if be uses the same stylist as gizelle. 

[qtpye]

2 minutes ago, RealReality said:

I wish them ALL luck and the restraint and maturity not to respond to words with physical violence, since they chose to be on a show about verbal shit slinging.  

I haven't looked for saints since touched by an angel was cancelled. LOL.  

On this show, you are more likely to be touched by Michael than an angel.

[RealReality]

1 minute ago, qtpye said:

On this show, you are more likely to be touched by Michael than an angel.

LMAO! 

[Yours Truly]

4 hours ago, spunky said:

Violence is only acceptable when it's Candiace.  Everyone else can do what they want.  In some states Ashley would have been shot for entering Candiace’s home after she was told to leave.  

I don’t think it’s more acceptable when it comes to CandyAss just more understandable.. 😝😝🤣🤣

 

[spunky]

15 minutes ago, Yours Truly said:

I don’t think it’s more acceptable when it comes to CandyAss just more understandable.. 😝😝🤣🤣

 

Well it would be more understandable to me if Wendy popped Gizelle for bringing a false rumor about her husband onto the show.  It would be understandable if Karen popped Gizelle for that disgusting uncle Ben t-shirt.  It would be understandable if Gizelle popped Karen for calling her a broken whore from Hampton University.  It would be understandable if Katie popped Ashley for making fun of her mental health.  And I surely would understand if Askale  Wendy and Candiace beat the botox out of Mia for antagonizing them on Twitter all season, by shading their businesses,  their family (Askale), and trying to tarnish their husband's name (Candiace).

[Yours Truly]

5 minutes ago, spunky said:

Well it would be more understandable to me if Wendy popped Gizelle for bringing a false rumor about her husband onto the show.  It would be understandable if Karen popped Gizelle for that disgusting uncle Ben t-shirt.  It would be understandable if Gizelle popped Karen for calling her a broken whore from Hampton University.  It would be understandable if Katie popped Ashley for making fun of her mental health.  And I surely would understand if Askale  Wendy and Candiace beat the botox out of Mia for antagonizing them on Twitter all season, by shading their businesses,  their family (Askale), and trying to tarnish their husband's name (Candiace).

True on all counts. 👍🏼 So yeah CandyAss getting dragged yet again wouldn’t be a surprise.🤷🏻‍♀️🤣

Edited November 12, 2021 by Yours Truly

[RealReality]

I believe that everytime nearly identical behavior which is handwaved away as being "not as bad"  

Robyn has gotten right into Ashley's face with her full hands and full invasion of personal space.  Robyn also was right up in moniques face and dared her to fight.  IIRC monique had an embrella to Robyn's throat.  Robyn ran after monique talking shit about fighting.  After being repeatedly asked to stop Mia kept touching Wendy.  How is that any better or worse than a hair flick?

Even Monique admitted on the show that candaces behavior had very little to do with why she physically attacked her.  

But there remains a persistent narrative that because candace was the victim of a physical attack she must have done something to bring it on herself.  

Even after the person who attacked her admitted that her behavior wasn't really the reason for the physical attack.   

[RealReality]

21 hours ago, Yours Truly said:

I find it interesting that there is this extreme defense of someone behaving badly. Just because it's wrong to lay hands doesn't mean that CandyAss should have free reign to behave badly. I think what gets lost in the conversation is that it's absolutely acceptable for the ladies to check CandyAss on the EXTREME behavior. It's okay to call her out on the bucking and the aggressiveness in her interactions. It's okay to tell CandyAss that there are some behaviors that are extremely detrimental to the progression of an incident.  As much as I don't like Gizelle her trying to outline to CandyAss some stuff is just too much and that maybe just maybe there's some reflection necessary isn't "victim blaming".  It would probably hit truer if Gizelle wasn't sounding a hypocrite about what is and isn't below the belt and more about the differences in CandyAss's demeanor VS.  the others when blowups go down. That, to me, is really where the issue lies.  

All this, "by that logic" it would have been okay for this one or that one to get THEIR ass beat then. No, those are not equal comparisons. These ladies get down in the dirt at times granted but very rarely is it accompanied by lettuce throwing, hair flicking, butter knife waving, talking about smoke, flexing, bucking, getting in the face of and attempts at squaring up, not to mention needing to be physically held back or restrained. In no way is that comparable to Gizelle's t-shirt, Ashley's messy messes, Mia's condescending delivery, etc. etc. I'm not gonna lie tho, when Gizelle pulled that shit with the t-shirt... boyyyyeeeee my slap hand started to itch on behalf of Karen. For Real! LOL.

 

 

 

I believe that everytime nearly identical behavior which is handwaved away as being "not as bad"  

 

Robyn has gotten right into Ashley's face with her full hands and full invasion of personal space.  Robyn also was right up in moniques face and dared her to fight.  IIRC monique had an embrella to Robyn's throat.  Robyn ran after monique talking shit about fighting.  After being repeatedly asked to stop Mia kept touching Wendy.  How is that any better or worse than a hair flick?

 

Even Monique admitted on the show that candaces behavior had very little to do with why she physically attacked her.  

 

But there remains a persistent narrative that because candace was the victim of a physical attack she must have done something to bring it on herself.  

 

Even after the person who attacked her admitted that her behavior wasn't really the reason for the physical attack. 

As for other women "checking" candace, since they are ALL nasty to each other there is no need for them to verbally check candace. 

As multiple people have said, it's easy enough not to talk to candace and it's 73000 x easier for them not to come for candace.  They refuse to ignore her or not come for her but they keep doing it.  So that's on them. 

 

 

Edited November 12, 2021 by RealReality

[Yours Truly]

3 hours ago, RealReality said:

I believe that everytime nearly identical behavior which is handwaved away as being "not as bad"  

Robyn has gotten right into Ashley's face with her full hands and full invasion of personal space.  Robyn also was right up in moniques face and dared her to fight.  IIRC monique had an embrella to Robyn's throat.  Robyn ran after monique talking shit about fighting.  After being repeatedly asked to stop Mia kept touching Wendy.  How is that any better or worse than a hair flick?

Even Monique admitted on the show that candaces behavior had very little to do with why she physically attacked her.  

But there remains a persistent narrative that because candace was the victim of a physical attack she must have done something to bring it on herself.  

Even after the person who attacked her admitted that her behavior wasn't really the reason for the physical attack.   

Ashley Situation:

I would have smacked her finger/hand away from my face. 

Monique Situation:

I would have two handedly shoved that heiffer up and out of my personal space and would have cheered Monique on had she did that in that moment too. (I had already applauded her use of the umbrella). Robyn stepped up to her pretty quickly and aggressively and in my book that's ground for a push back cause nobody has the right to come up on you in an aggressive, threatening manner and be that close in YOUR personal space. PERIODT! I don't care where you grew up. And I don't know where or who would think that's acceptable or think that the other person has no rights in that particular scenario to protect themselves. 

In conclusion, BY MY LOGIC.... LOL I wouldn't have been surprised or mad if Robyn got hands put on her in either of those situations. So there you have it. 

Edited November 12, 2021 by Yours Truly

[spunky]

https://www.instagram.com/p/CWLqkVZJBy3/?utm_medium=copy_link

https://www.instagram.com/p/CWL4QZ5vuL2/?utm_medium=copy_link

Mia has been trying all day to antagonize Candiace. Meanwhile Candiace is letting her argue by herself. Now if Candiace was doing this she would be called every name in the book.

[Iguessnot]

1 hour ago, spunky said:

https://www.instagram.com/p/CWLqkVZJBy3/?utm_medium=copy_link

https://www.instagram.com/p/CWL4QZ5vuL2/?utm_medium=copy_link

Mia has been trying all day to antagonize Candiace. Meanwhile Candiace is letting her argue by herself. Now if Candiace was doing this she would be called every name in the book.

All I see in those tweets is whining. Nobody's calling Candiace every name in the book for whining.  Referring to a cast member as "shewhoshallnotbenamed" is a mild jab. Telling a cast member to go find her pimp and then yelling for the pimp to come get his ho, is a whole different kind of antagonism. 

[Yours Truly]

30 minutes ago, Iguessnot said:

All I see in those tweets is whining. Nobody's calling Candiace every name in the book for whining.  Referring to a cast member as "shewhoshallnotbenamed" is a mild jab. Telling a cast member to go find her pimp and then yelling for the pimp to come get his ho, is a whole different kind of antagonism. 

For Real!!

I'm still a bit confused about what is so acceptable about CandyAsses behavior to be honest. I get that physical violence is not okay but I'm trying to figure out this need to completely absolve this chick from ALL of her nonsense. 

I'm more concerned about a narrative that strongly suggests a person can do any and everything SHORT of putting hands on someone and somehow that miraculously makes it A OK. What sort of person needs there to be a this automatic safety net of "it's wrong to hit" so I can be all kinds of ugly and nasty all I want? CandyAss that's who. I really dislike the idea that getting up in someone's face, being threatening, aggressive and intimidating is all okay and well within the rights of someone to do just as long as they don't make that one last move and initiate contact.  No it's not okay to put hands on someone. Okay got it. Now lets move on to it's not okay to be up in peoples face.  Or Towering over someone aggressively while wielding an object.  Or reaching over and crossing into someone's personal space during a disagreement. I mean put any of the housewives in any of the examples I've given and I will say the same thing. 

Bucking and flexing, aggressively invading someone's personal space, and exhibiting threatening bodily language is also ABSOLUTELY UNACCEPTABLE so I really don't get the idea that CandyAss's behavior is nothing compared to someone who puts hands.  

 

[Rlb8031]

On 11/11/2021 at 1:57 PM, RealReality said:

Okay, so then the result determines how bad the words are. 

In other words, if someone gets hit, they MUST have "taken it to the next level"

Because saying there must be something particularly wrong with what candace says or does because she is the only one who for physically attacked sounds like just that.  

Even though multiple cast members have done way worse and haven't gotten beaten.  

If gizelle or Ashley had been attacked then it would have meant that they had "taken it to the next level?" 

Mia had repeatedly invaded personal space and so has Robyn.  So, by your definition, they too were "taking it to the next level"  

Mia, in one season, has done this multiple times and robyn has at least done it twice.  Robyn went so far as to chase after monique daring her to fight. 

Anyone who is physically violent can argue that they were "provoked" into it.  There were a lot of "what did you say to him girl?" type comments when pictures of Rhiannas busted face went public.  

 

Candace hasn't been dragged away for being physically aggressive or violent.  Chris has already said that he tries to ger candace to leave because people like Ashley and Mia are trying to use her for a moment.  

And LOL, I guess candace wasn't so "physically aggressive" that Ashley went right back into her house after being TOLD to leave. 

Ashley literally invaded someone's personal space after having been told to stop and leave.  Yet someone she didn't "take it to the next level?"  

I mostly mention this so people consider whether they are applying the same standards to everyone on the show.  Because it sure doesn't seem like it to me. 

Just curious, who (other than Monique) has done something "way worse" than Candiace's attacks on Mia's mom?

One thing, I'm especially sensitive to is something that Candiace has done with Mia. She may claim that she was "jonsing" (which I don't actually believe is the correct term - I've only heard of it as "playing the dozens"), but usually, in that game, you don't actually have any vitriol for the object of your attack. In other words, you talk about someone's mama, but you don't actually mean that their mama is fat, or dumb, or anything else. But in Candiace's situation, she has not only pulled out the yo mamma joke, she called G a pimp, to his face, without hesitation, for no reason, because she was mad at Mia. And again, when one talks about this as "verbal sparing" calling me a bitch to my face, because you are mad at my sister, mama, cousin, or Uber driver is going to cause a problem WITH ME. Why does she think that mama or G, shouldn't be angry because "Mia's not at good as insults as I am?" when in point of fact, Mia just isn't prepared to call Chris or Dot everything but a child of God because she's mad at Candiace. The only other person that I think plays regularly in this arena is Gizelle. She did it with Ray, when Ray had done absolutely nothing to her. It's a dangerous game and one which seems to me to be dependent on expecting a certain level of non-reaction from the person who is the collateral damage.

[drivethroo]

I have heard of "joning" before.  It may be a regional thing.

The problem with the whole "Candiace mouth is reckless so she needs to get beat" idea is we know reckless mouths generally don't get people beat, not on or off camera, not on reality shows or real life.  Otherwise Karen should've gotten punched by Gizelle on the very first episode and Wendy should've gone WWE on Gizelle, Robyn and Ashley.

The usual comeback to this argument is "Well Candiace is physically provoking so she needs her ass beat," but yet Mia touched/waved her hands in Wendy's face on several different occasions after being told not to.  By this Pavlovian logic we've been dealing with for the past two seasons, Wendy should've taken a swing.

Even with the butter knife incident, Ashley was up in CANDIACE's face, physically and verbally provoking her after having been told to leave Candiace's house.  Candiace wasn't in Ashley's face.  By this logic, Candiace had every right to wave the butter knife, if not use it on Ashley.

The cast amuses me by coming down on Candiace allegedly for her "reckless mouth" and claiming to be scared about the lettuce but where was Karen's bodyguard? Gizelle's security? Candiace was reckless with romaine so where was the security?

Maybe what the cast is really scared of is the show has now become RHOP featuring Candiace because 43% of the main cast could've been completely edited out this season and the storylines would've remained the same.

I find it interesting Karen will be threatening Candiace with being iced out for "verbal abuse" but she wasn't on board with Monique being iced out for physical abuse and has said nothing about Michael's sexual abuse.

Monique admits to "blacking out" and nobody on the cast including Karen called BRAVO to get Monique some much needed mental health services but we need to call HR to get Candiace some mental health services because "she's not all there and we're scared."

We're not going to tolerate Candiace's verbal abuse even though we call each other "broken whores" and strippers with clits flapping in the wind and women without relationships to even care about.  We're offended by Candiace saying "ya mama is low budget" because some of us are low budget mothers and some of us have low budget mothers and that triggers us, and she's got to go so we don't feel bad about ourselves anymore.

The cast is very frightened of Candiace and her caesar salad of insults because people are talking about Candiace (good or bad) and not them and they don't like it.  So they're either going to work behind the scenes to get her fired (Karen "I'm scared"), take potshots to provoke Candiace (Gizelle "she's broke", Ashley "her husband's an alcoholic" and Mia "she's transphobic because she called me handsome") or try to provoke her into a fight (Mia).

Candiace is rising (She's supposed to be on the Kelly Clarkson show soon) and if she continues to be successful it won't matter if she's on the show or not and that's bad news for half of her castmates because they really don't have too much going on:

• Is EveryHue defunct?
• Is Embellished in stock?
• Will we see Coffee and Love: The Remix with Justin from American Idol on the track?
• Will the one and three wick candles end up with the red sticker at TJ Maxx?

As she said to Ashley on part 1, Candiace needs to force all those hoes to earn their paycheck a different way.

 

[spunky]

Go ahead Candiace!

https://www.instagram.com/p/CWMi3CSsVzg/?utm_medium=copy_link

 

[Hiyo]

Quote

I'm still a bit confused about what is so acceptable about CandyAsses behavior to be honest. I get that physical violence is not okay but I'm trying to figure out this need to completely absolve this chick from ALL of her nonsense. 

[Chatty Cake]

On 11/11/2021 at 6:59 PM, Yours Truly said:

I don’t think it’s more acceptable when it comes to CandyAss just more understandable.. 😝😝🤣🤣

 

She is a verbally abusive and miserable woman. Her husband has to drink just to stand being around her.

[RealReality]

On 11/12/2021 at 11:00 AM, Yours Truly said:

Ashley Situation:

I would have smacked her finger/hand away from my face. 

Monique Situation:

I would have two handedly shoved that heiffer up and out of my personal space and would have cheered Monique on had she did that in that moment too. (I had already applauded her use of the umbrella). Robyn stepped up to her pretty quickly and aggressively and in my book that's ground for a push back cause nobody has the right to come up on you in an aggressive, threatening manner and be that close in YOUR personal space. PERIODT! I don't care where you grew up. And I don't know where or who would think that's acceptable or think that the other person has no rights in that particular scenario to protect themselves. 

In conclusion, BY MY LOGIC.... LOL I wouldn't have been surprised or mad if Robyn got hands put on her in either of those situations. So there you have it. 

Where I grew up and where I continue to live I have too much to lose and too little to waste, so I'd walk away. 

I have no interest in risking my career and my profession nor did I have any interest in ruining my chances at college and law school over a potential felony or even misdemeanor charge.  

In all of these instances, except for when monqiue crossed a line into violence, each person has had the ability to walk away.  

But I haven't seen any of this smoke for Robyn and there is and was nary a word about how she was begging to have her ass kicked.

Or how Mia was begging to have her ass kicked because she routinely has ignores requests from others to stop touching them. 

Or how Michael Darby was asking for a physical beating when he physically towered over gizelle at the reunion in an intimidating manner.  

The ONLY person who this logic ever applies to is candace. 

12 hours ago, Chatty Cake said:

She is a verbally abusive and miserable woman. Her husband has to drink just to stand being around her.

Too bad there isn't enough liquor in the world to endure gizelles company.  

Maybe that should be gizelles next venture...a liquor so strong it will make her company palatable. 

[RealReality]

On 11/12/2021 at 6:04 PM, spunky said:

Go ahead Candiace!

https://www.instagram.com/p/CWMi3CSsVzg/?utm_medium=copy_link

 

Good for her!  

[Hiyo]

Quote

Her husband has to drink just to stand being around her.

I pity his liver.

[Yours Truly]

6 hours ago, RealReality said:

Where I grew up and where I continue to live I have too much to lose and too little to waste, so I'd walk away. 

I have no interest in risking my career and my profession nor did I have any interest in ruining my chances at college and law school over a potential felony or even misdemeanor charge.  

In all of these instances, except for when monqiue crossed a line into violence, each person has had the ability to walk away.  

But I haven't seen any of this smoke for Robyn and there is and was nary a word about how she was begging to have her ass kicked.

Or how Mia was begging to have her ass kicked because she routinely has ignores requests from others to stop touching them. 

Or how Michael Darby was asking for a physical beating when he physically towered over gizelle at the reunion in an intimidating manner.  

The ONLY person who this logic ever applies to is candace. 

Too bad there isn't enough liquor in the world to endure gizelles company.  

Maybe that should be gizelles next venture...a liquor so strong it will make her company palatable. 

No one will be risking a career in the case of self defense. So the extreme nonsensical “oh my God I’m going to jail cause I pushed a bitch off me” just makes me roll my eyes. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Believe me I ain’t tryna catch a case for no one and believe you me I CAN and HAVE walk away from plenty but at the same time the idea that a bitch that runs up on you aggressively is still gonna be the victor in a case where you end up establishing personal boundaries and defending your person through a physical act completely tickles me. 

As was established in the Monique situation. The courts dismissed the case after reviewing the situation. TWO people got into an altercation and TWO had contributed to the outcome. Even the courts weren’t trying to hear about such messiness. LOL!  And no I don’t count on that logic in the case of any possible altercation I may come across but at the same time pretending that getting someone to get up off you and out of your personal space is some immoral act worthy of catching a case is Absolutely ridiculous.  To think it’s wrong of a person to act instinctively and try to put up a defense when someone is coming at you aggressively. Miss me with the deliberate misunderstanding of how the law works on that. If there’s a perceived threat to person then that changes the whole dynamic and is factored in. 

Granted the whole finger wagging and smacking it away would have been a petty decision. I would have had to think twice whether it was worth causing a ruckus in the middle of my restaurant but her charging Monique??? Most definitely a firm two hand push if not a punch in the mouth. And I’m most definitely claiming self defense cause she came up too fast, too close with threatening behavior so turning around and walking away would have left me vulnerable to whatever she had in mind and it was obvious she had some negative shit on her mind. 

Also, I know i have mentioned numerous times that I don’t care which housewife it is so my logic applies ACROSS the board. Not just with CandyAss and not every corny example mentioned fits the bill. 🙄 If Certain physical boundaries  get crossed and it’s partnered with aggressive demeanor and intimidating body language then nah, imma put my high horse away and grab the popcorn hoping beyond hope that that shit gets shut down. #sorrynotsorry 😝🤣

Edited November 15, 2021 by Yours Truly

[eXiled]

When it comes to aggressive touching/hitting, I've always believed I'd go with a compromise if I were attacked:

Beat that bitch's ass. Call the police to explain why. Hopefully there would be cameras nearby or someone trying to film a Worldstar video that would help exonerate me later.

I'd then do the reverse of what Monique did.

Instead of puffing out my chest and being loudly unapologetic, I would weep violently, allowing myself to be overtaken by full-body convulsions. I would explain my panic at being assaulted. I would be hysterical over the fact that I blacked out and hurt someone. I would be flummoxed that all I recall from the altercation after I was touched is waking up with my unconscious aggressor lying beneath me.

I would enlist a good attorney if criminal charges were filed against me. My attorney would dig up my assailant's past to show that this was not her first offense. If she does not have a criminal record, I'm positive we could find evidence from her neighborhood and previous employment to document her short fuse.

I, on the other hand, am a professional person who would never attack someone physically just because she'd verbally hurt my feelings.

I would enlist a good attorney to file civil charges against my assailant. My trauma, stress, and depression would  be an issue. My medical and psychological records would prove my distress. Despite getting her ass beat, my assailant would have to pay for my pain.

I'd make it my business to take whatever my assailant owned, down to her shack. Had Candiace forced the issue with Mo, she might have netted something-something. Most hood chicks don't have much to begin with, hence the constant pop-offs.

Edited November 15, 2021 by eXiled

[RealReality]

1 hour ago, Yours Truly said:

No one will be risking a career in the case of self defense. So the extreme nonsensical “oh my God I’m going to jail cause I pushed a bitch off me” just makes me roll my eyes. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Believe me I ain’t tryna catch a case for no one and believe you me I CAN and HAVE walk away from plenty but at the same time the idea that a bitch that runs up on you aggressively is still gonna be the victor in a case where you end up establishing personal boundaries and defending your person through a physical act completely tickles me. 

As was established in the Monique situation. The courts dismissed the case after reviewing the situation. TWO people got into an altercation and TWO had contributed to the outcome. Even the courts weren’t trying to hear about such messiness. LOL!  And no I don’t count on that logic in the case of any possible altercation I may come across but at the same time pretending that getting someone to get up off you and out of your personal space is some immoral act worthy of catching a case is Absolutely ridiculous.  To think it’s wrong of a person to act instinctively and try to put up a defense when someone is coming at you aggressively. Miss me with the deliberate misunderstanding of how the law works on that. If there’s a perceived threat to person then that changes the whole dynamic and is factored in. 

Granted the whole finger wagging and smacking it away would have been a petty decision. I would have had to think twice whether it was worth causing a ruckus in the middle of my restaurant but her charging Monique??? Most definitely a firm two hand push if not a punch in the mouth. And I’m most definitely claiming self defense cause she came up too fast, too close with threatening behavior so turning around and walking away would have left me vulnerable to whatever she had in mind and it was obvious she had some negative shit on her mind. 

Also, I know i have mentioned numerous times that I don’t care which housewife it is so my logic applies ACROSS the board. Not just with CandyAss and not every corny example mentioned fits the bill. 🙄 If Certain physical boundaries  get crossed and it’s partnered with aggressive demeanor and intimidating body language then nah, imma put my high horse away and grab the popcorn hoping beyond hope that that shit gets shut down. #sorrynotsorry 😝🤣

I strongly disagree.  People have caught a criminal case for what they felt was "self defense" and the reason monique needed a statement was because it wasn't clear cut from the video alone.  

So rolling eyes and being tickled doesn't change that fact.  

Further, beyond a criminal case a person can ALSO catch a civil case, which has a lower burden of proof and opens the door to losing money AND having to hire an attorney to defend you.  Whereas a private attorney for a person suing can decide to take it on a contingency. 

So, am I going to take that risk?  No.  Where I can walk away I'm going to walk away.  

Every "corny example" involves the same set of facts.  Someone entering the personal space of another in an unwanted manner, be it explicit or understood.  And the outrage has never been this high when Robyn, Mia or Michael have done it (with gizelle). 

I'm not on a high horse as I'm perfectly fine to watch Molly whopping on BGC.  But this isn't BGC.  

 

LOL, I'm fairly certain I understand how the law works. 

Not sure where the winery was but here is some information on the Maryland statute. 

Notably, the person claiming self defense must not have used more force than was necessary and must have been in immediate danger.  

Alone, a hair flick doesn't support the severity of the response  and calls into question of immediate danger.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Right_of_self-defense_in_Maryland

Edited November 15, 2021 by RealReality