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S10.E14: Fight or Flight?


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6 hours ago, spunky said:

I'm just going  by what they posted on Instagram.  I think Mindy was given an out by Dr.V. 

 

6 hours ago, Ohwell said:

If true, then I don't think it's fair that Mindy is "given an out" and Zach is on the hook for the money, no matter how he acted.  

They have shown (unless I am crazy) Zach and Mindy on decision day on the couch. So the penalty may be "if they leave" meaning walk off and refuse to be on camera anymore but if they continue to appear on the show, they technically have not left and maybe don't have to pay? I missed the preview for next week so I don't know if either of them are still on the program just appearing separately. 

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I wish I could have seen what Meka would be like with a decent partner, because I haven’t disagreed with a single word she’s said, but DAMN has it been hard to listen to her.  I watch LIVE PD, and sometimes when a guy is getting arrested his woman is in the background just machine-gun yelling at the police about the situation, and nobody listens to her words because of the woodpecker-to-the-head delivery.

I’m glad there is one couple doing well, but when I look at Jessica I just see Ryan Reynolds’ unfunny, bland younger sister. Her giggle drives me nuts. But at least she and Austin are happy.

Katie is an unbelievable, wretched shrewhag, and I want to kick her straight into the sun. Every time Derek apologizes to her I want to yell NOOOOOOO!! Do not give her what she wants! 
 

 

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10 hours ago, spunky said:

I'm just going  by what they posted on Instagram.  I think Mindy was given an out by Dr.V. 

I sure hope so.  If not I will start the crowdfunding to pay her 'fine' for dumping that DBag

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8 hours ago, princelina said:

At this point they all "recommitted" on Recommitment Day, but Mindy was advised to give Zach an ultimatum which he failed to keep.  However his ugly ass kept showing up for filming, and he kept pretending like he was "working on" things, so he never just left like Heather.  If this information is true then Zach and Mindy each missed out on $1500 last week because they weren't in the episode - maybe that's how they get penalized, and the $100,000 is just for if they leave for good and refuse to show up again?

You make a good point.

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Oh Katie. So whiney. Idk. Insecure & resentful was her issue in her past relationship & those are her issues in her marriage. Instead of being constructive about Derek's interaction with the other wives, she throws a fit. COME ON!! Then got Jessica thinking it's her fault. LOL! Derek is such a sweetheart. Way too accepting of Krazy Katie & way too accepting of blame for arguments. He's ALWAYS crawling to her, apologizing, it's so sad! I hope he spends that pre-Decision Day alone time to reflect & realize how unhappy he is with her & decide on divorce. If not, maybe Katie will do it for him, sounds like she's wanted to since day 4. She shuts him down & rejects him so he retreats from her, then gets mad that he distances himself. WTF?!! She's mad that he's nice & chats with the other wives? COME ON! She should be taking a hard look at herself and how she created their crap marriage!

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On 4/2/2020 at 5:48 AM, Soup333 said:

In this episode we found out she’s told Derek she wants him to confront her and call her a bitch. And then she said they get along better after they’ve argued. So, yeah. I think you’re right. She prefers drama and dysfunction over a healthy relationship. The thing is, Derek isn’t that guy.

Maybe this is the dysfunctional "passion" she seeks. He's too accepting & chill & that's a problem. She doesn't want him to let her walk all over him & control everything, yet she walks all over him & controls everything. Makes no sense.

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On 4/2/2020 at 11:01 AM, bichonblitz said:

My son who is in his early 30's was talking about this the other day. He said the majority of girls he dates don't like to cook, don't know how to cook and don't care to learn how to cook. I asked him if he was exaggerating and he said NO! Single young girls just don't cook. Weird, huh? 

Who LIKES to cook?? 😅 The prep, the cleanup, the leftovers, those dishes, the TROUBLE! 😣 I know how to cook, I just don't want or need to, so I don't. 😂

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18 minutes ago, Lindz said:

Who LIKES to cook?? 😅 The prep, the cleanup, the leftovers, those dishes, the TROUBLE! 😣 I know how to cook, I just don't want or need to, so I don't. 😂

Me! I love to cook!

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On 4/2/2020 at 3:06 PM, Neurochick said:

Maybe, maybe not, but I do remember that when Keith told Iris the Virgin that he wanted a divorce, some folks were mad AT HIM.  WTF, I mean what kind of fucked up show would pair a man like Keith who was not a virgin with Iris the Virgin who was saving herself for marriage?  Cruel for both parties.

Ya damn right we were mad at HIM!! He checked out of the marriage, probably right when his mom dropped that bomb & FAKED until Decision Day. That was WRONG of him! FAKERS should LEAVE IMMEDIATELY, not trick their spouses! They should've asked his sexual experience preference, but they knew Iris wasn't ready.

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On 4/2/2020 at 8:22 PM, Kiss my mutt said:

I think part of the reason Katie tears Derrick down is so he thinks he can’t get anyone better than her because he keeps being told how much of a “loser” he is. 

How is her name-calling & berating NOT abuse?? 😂😂 She calls out his defensiveness & makes him the bad guy in their arguments, WHAT ABOUT HER ACTIONS & WORDS??

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4 minutes ago, Lindz said:

How is her name-calling & berating NOT abuse?? 😂😂 She calls out his defensiveness & makes him the bad guy in their arguments, WHAT ABOUT HER ACTIONS & WORDS??

I don’t think I ever indicated that it wasn’t wrong or abusive. I said she is trying to tear him down so he feels less than and puts up with her shit which is a common abusive technique..  not sure why you’re yelling but it needs to stop. 

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I CAN'T with people & their bad attitudes! Take that crap energy ELSEWHERE. They should've left bratty turtle ALONE with her tantrum! Michael & Brandon pairing off was just fine.

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On 4/4/2020 at 3:50 PM, Liberty said:

If someone was selected, or applying, for this show, wouldn't they watch a couple of the previous seasons?

Who would take a chance on ending up with Ryan DeNino or Iris Caldwell?

Who, as pleasant as Austin or Derek could see the previous train wrecks and still want to be part of this?

That's why they apply. They're STUPID! Blissfully, willfully IGNORANT. Makes them PERFECT FOOLS! 😂😂

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3 hours ago, Lindz said:

Who LIKES to cook?? 😅 The prep, the cleanup, the leftovers, those dishes, the TROUBLE! 😣 I know how to cook, I just don't want or need to, so I don't. 😂

Cooking is an art form.    I adore cooking.   I have over 150 spices in my spice cupboard.  How can anyone put down cooking???

 

As to Katie.  I was exactly like her.  When I was  ** 15  **  and had my first BF.  She needs to grow up.

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On 4/5/2020 at 10:30 AM, Lm2162 said:

I actually sort of like that Austin won't say "I love you" on someone else's timeline. It shows that, yeah, Jessica might run the show in some ways on a day-to-day level (I don't think she's "controlling" but she is definitely a household-manager type), but he will hold his own and isn't a pushover or a total yes-man like Bobby seemed to be a bit with Danielle. Even though I'm sure it hurt Jessica a lot not to hear it when she went out on a limb and said it, I think it shows something healthy about their power dynamic--that they will be equals, even if Austin is a little quieter and more subtle about asserting himself. 

Ya. He's on his own timeline, but "needing more time" is insufficient. If he's just withholding it because it's too soon for his logic, that's bs. I hope he's more open with her about it. She's who matters most.

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IRONIC that Brandon says Taylor isn't ready to be married!! WTF is WRONG with HIM?? BAHA! The crazy paranoia extended to his "friend." So they didn't figure out how to discuss & resolve their issues & Brandon wants to control filming. SAME OLD SAME OLD!! He should've left it DONE!

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I'm confused. WHAT is Brandon's problem with what Taylor did? That whole thing was a stupid mess. & him acting a fool is more fodder to air!! If he really wanted to cut filming, he prolly shoulda sat there, quietly. IDIOT! So what Brandon should've done is say, "I had an issue with this, how do we prevent that from happening again? Or I would like to discuss & establish this boundary." WHERE is the room for mistakes? They are STRANGERS! She thought texting was sufficient. Can't grow if they just hold mistakes against each other. 😂

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HOW did Taylor switch from being angry & "done with his s#%t" to soothing & keeping him in the bathroom to work it out? LEAVE THAT CRAZY MAN ALONE!! Y'all hear the thuds when he tried to open the door? WHY shut yourself in with that craziness?? Makes NO sense! None of that made ANY sense!

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SUPER SNOOZE!!
Katie & Derek: awkward, argue, adventure
Jessica & Austin: enjoy their boringness
Meka & Michael: awkward, separate
Taylor & Brandon: off & argue... AGAIN

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7 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

Me! I love to cook!

Me too. It’s a hobby for me in addition to being a life skill. I’ve taken classes, love to try new things, etc. It’s my dad’s and my thing; he is a fantastic cook.

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WHEN the secondary spouse should've ended it:
Meka: When he denied the honeymoon ultimatum
Mindy: When he said he wasn't building attraction & asked what she wanted him to do about it (WTAF?!)
Taylor: When he threw his ring & said F U! (TOO FAR!)
Derek: When she called him names & made him feel inadequate (idk when 😅)
Too bad for these spouses who were trapped by their marriages contracts. They didn't have to try at the marriage & subject themselves to mistreatment though. When it's done, it's done.

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I absolutely love cooking. Cleaning up is what sucks. 

I sometimes wonder if Austin just wants to say he loves her “organically” rather than as a reaction to pressure so it feels authentic to him. Although, he does everything else Jessica tells him to do so who knows?

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Quote

 

Getting caught up. Wow Katie is an awful person, truly awful. And Brandon is very unstable. Always ready to fight, and always looking for someone to blame for his insecurities and anger. He’s loves to be the victim. The “experts” couldn’t have done a worse job this season.

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On 4/7/2020 at 8:44 PM, Kiss my mutt said:

she is trying to tear him down so he feels less than and puts up with her shit which is a common abusive technique.

The best summation of the Katie/Derek situation I've read.

And then, he's d*mned if he does, d*mned if he doesn't.  

He does x, which is "wrong".

He doesn't apologize profusely enough, which is also "wrong".

She screams at him, then she pouts and runs.  If he doesn't run fast enough, he's "wrong".

He finally realizes he'll never have sex again if he doesn't apologize again.

Wash, rinse, repeat.

I grew up in a household with this exact dynamic.  It only gets worse.

Edited by Sterling
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Finally watched this episode after reading aaaaallllllll the posts. And it seems like all of the scenes were accurately described (even with personal observations) except "Scary Violent Brandon and the Producer."

Based on the descriptions here, I watched the whole epi and rewound a couple of times. That footage was so obviously highly edited to make Brandon appear unreasonable. It's clear that he doesn't like the producers and they don't like him.

Every time he alludes to the fakeness of his "marriage" and the fact that the producers are in some way forcing the issue, they cut him off. Or only show the pieces of footage that show him being obstinate. Yet somehow we never see the footage leading up to that point. Why is that?

I don't even like or care about Brandon but this storyline is not on the up and up. Taylor cornering him in the bathroom, faking about wanting to "work on things", and not letting him leave before the producer made her was not ok. The one producer walking up on him when he was taking off his mic was not ok. Five producers surrounding him when he was already clearly upset was not ok. Why couldn't they just give him some space? What might have happened if they just left him alone?

Something is not adding up here.

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And also: y'all are giving Derek way too much credit. He likes the stupidity of trying to win over Katie and how "crazy" their fight-makeup-rinse-repeat relationship is. At least for now. He's for sure a YES on d-day.

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On 4/7/2020 at 8:20 PM, Lindz said:

Who LIKES to cook?? 😅 The prep, the cleanup, the leftovers, those dishes, the TROUBLE! 😣 I know how to cook, I just don't want or need to, so I don't. 😂

I love to cook.  Either you're born with the love of cooking or you're not.  My mother and grandmother were excellent cooks so I "inherited" that from them.  However, both were expert seamstresses and I'd rather bang my head repeatedly on a table than sew anything.  As my grandma used to say, "To each his own".

And right now cooking is not a bad skill to have, given that so many of us are confined to our homes most if not all of the time.  I am a little squirrel-y about the safety of ordering food from restaurants these days plus it gets expensive.  As much as I hate not being able to support restaurants right now I wouldn't be able to anyway due to loss of income.

BTW, Taylor's food looks great, I have to admire that in her, despite other qualities she has that I don't like.

5 hours ago, talktoomuch said:

And also: y'all are giving Derek way too much credit. He likes the stupidity of trying to win over Katie and how "crazy" their fight-makeup-rinse-repeat relationship is. At least for now. He's for sure a YES on d-day.

Katie just looks worse and worse all the time but so does Derek if he continues to act like he really wants to stay in the marriage with her.

Edited by Yeah No
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By the way, I wanted to send my sincerest thanks and virtual hugs to those that posted condolences on the loss of my father and anyone that liked those posts (or even just nodded).  I have watched the next episode but am still way behind in reading the thread so I haven't posted anything yet.

Edited by Yeah No
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Personally, I don't give  rat's ass if Michael has every imaginable diagnosis or combination thereof from the DSM or any other legitimate diagnostic tool. He's a grown man. Since there has never been any indication that he has a legal guardian, he alone is responsible for his words and actions. He had no business being deceitful to get himself on this show. The asshats in charge of making the matches had absolutely no business victimizing an unsuspecting woman by selecting her for the affliction known as Michael. The so-called experts had absolutely no business encouraging the continuation of this travesty.

The more I see Michael, the more respect I have for Meka.

I think that if Meka had put out, Michael would have gotten laid, but Meka would still have gotten absolutely nothing but used.

With all of Michael's references to wanting vulnerability and tenderness from a wife, I strongly suspect he got the brilliant idea that MAFS would be the place to get himself a forever booty call and when Meka chose to NOT be victimized by his behaviors, he relegated her to the trash pile and simple went through his interpretation of the required motions.

I can not believe Michael's 'sister' was unaware of his behaviors, and for that she bears the guilt of not having been truthful with Meka when she had the opportunity. It's not like these couples live in a vacuum. She could have contacted Meka at any time for an honest off-camera conversation - for which I suspect Meka would have been grateful.

For once I really want to know what repercussions occured after decision day - at the very least,  Mindy and Meka deserve a very big apology.

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