S08.E11: Introducing Mr. and Mrs. Cauchi

[2dogmom]

Britany was a hooters waitress (bartender?) who latched onto this dude in Las Vegas , moved to LA..became a cast member on vanderpump rules,  got some humongous breast implants,  and then got a wedding special.  she probably wins some kind of award for what you can accomplish to young hooters in training. she's a true LA fairly tale for those who have no talent or mediocre looks. 

she may be the smartest one on the whole show.  she'd still be serving shots and wings to Kentucky drunks if she hadn't met Jax. 

I was shocked by how ugly her dress was, I recall her trying on much better dresses on one of the shows.  it made her butt look flat and her waist look thick. I thought she was going to have some kind of huge cinderella dress.

 

 

 

 

 

[princelina]

3 hours ago, 2dogmom said:

Britany was a hooters waitress (bartender?) who latched onto this dude in Las Vegas , moved to LA..became a cast member on vanderpump rules,  got some humongous breast implants,  and then got a wedding special.  she probably wins some kind of award for what you can accomplish to young hooters in training. she's a true LA fairly tale for those who have no talent or mediocre looks. 

she may be the smartest one on the whole show.  she'd still be serving shots and wings to Kentucky drunks if she hadn't met Jax. 

If starring on a d-grade reality show and marrying a cheating sociopath is the goal, I guess she is smart 😄 

[2dogmom]

1 hour ago, princelina said:

If starring on a d-grade reality show and marrying a cheating sociopath is the goal, I guess she is smart 😄 

I said she was the smartest on the show, not smart.

 

[SarahPrtr]

8 hours ago, 2dogmom said:

I was shocked by how ugly her dress was, I recall her trying on much better dresses on one of the shows.  it made her butt look flat and her waist look thick. I thought she was going to have some kind of huge cinderella dress.

Yeah, since she's one of those "Ever since I was a little girl..." types, I thought she would have a nicer dress.  From some angles, it looked like a joke-dress you make with toilet paper on your hen's night.  The side sleeve parts looked like toilet paper drapes.  Brittany is one of those women who doesn't care about the actual marriage, just having a huge self-involved wedding.  She doesn't even care who the guy is, as long as she gets to have a princess-hooters-themed wedding.

 

Jax has already begun cheating, I have no doubt about that, in fact, it would not shock me at all if he had sex with someone at the wedding during the wedding.

[HouseofBeck]

19 hours ago, SFoster21 said:

Jax seemed unhappy throughout the entire affair.  All he would say is “$100,000.”  Vulgar.  I wonder if his anger toward FI was displaced, because he cannot admit he hates Brittany for forcing this on him: expense, ceremony, marriage.

 

Jax seems like the kind of person who has no compunction at weaseling out of every situation he doesn’t want to be in, so there must be some gains (material or otherwise) for him to go this route. He’d detonate the scenario otherwise. Or so I think!

[Iris987]

3 hours ago, HouseofBeck said:

Jax seems like the kind of person who has no compunction at weaseling out of every situation he doesn’t want to be in, so there must be some gains (material or otherwise) for him to go this route. He’d detonate the scenario otherwise. Or so I think!

Jax doesn't work that way. Stassi mentioned during the cheating scandal that he has never broken up with someone. He gaslights whoever he is with and cheats/denigrates/mentally breaks them down until THEY leave. Then he can say 'no, I was dumped. I loved her, I would have stayed'. And he gets attention and/or sympathy. He just didn't count on Brittany being so focussed on her T list celebrity goals that she'd stick around and take it. That's why I sort of love her. I mean, I can't stand her, but I love the fact that Jax can't go to his usual playbook and make it work. And he's too stupid to work out a different plan. She's going to barnacle to him for the rest of his life. And as long as they don't have children I am HERE for it.

[Peachyqueen]

On 3/17/2020 at 8:46 PM, dosodog said:

Sooooo.  My eyes got a little wet when Lala talked about not being able to have a father/daughter dance at her wedding.

  And though she didn't verbally express her sadness, Randall picked up on it and touched her arm, asked if she was okay and told her he loved her.

I found it to be sincere.  And it touched my heart.

Is this what happens when one socially distanced themselves?  You become sappy?

Ok I came here just to say I kinda fell in love with Rand a little in that moment. I’m glad he decided to finally do the show because I “get” them together now. 

[princelina]

1 hour ago, Peachyqueen said:

Ok I came here just to say I kinda fell in love with Rand a little in that moment. I’m glad he decided to finally do the show because I “get” them together now. 

I loved Rand when they were all wondering where he was, and then he was shown giggling and talking nonsense with Schwartz in bed 😄 

[Iris987]

8 minutes ago, princelina said:

I loved Rand when they were all wondering where he was, and then he was shown giggling and talking nonsense with Schwartz in bed

AND he interacts with his fans! He DM'd my friend and called him a clown. Granted, he was replying to something sort of mean in his comments. But my friend did the right thing by apologizing with a 'I'm sorry Fofty'. So I think there's a friendship opening there. 

[biakbiak]

1 hour ago, princelina said:

I loved Rand when they were all wondering where he was, and then he was shown giggling and talking nonsense with Schwartz in bed 😄 

It was Beau not Schwartz even Schwartz managed to be ready on time.

[Never Again]

On 3/17/2020 at 10:00 PM, Callaphera said:

...did anyone catch how much Jax paid for the wedding? I don't think he mentioned it at all, not even once, during this episode. What a guy, not to brag about how much money he spent. Wow!

I know right, but I’m confused about this, didn’t Bravo pay for the wedding?  They pay for all these things, they even gave Tamras wedding it’s own special.  (Sorry if this has been addressed above, I’m busier than I thought I’d be in lockdown and haven’t read all comments yet).  Also, in every wedding I have ever thrown, been to, or heard or, the guests pay for their own hotel rooms.  So even if Bravo didn’t pay, Jax waking them up so he didn’t have to pay for late checkout was very confusing to me.

[Never Again]

On 3/18/2020 at 12:40 PM, hoodooznoodooz said:

 

I am surprised that Brittany agonized over every microscopic detail of HER WEDDING, but then bobby-pinned a piece of white chiffon to her head. 

 

And went with that dress! 

[Callaphera]

6 hours ago, Rbonnie said:

I know right, but I’m confused about this, didn’t Bravo pay for the wedding?  They pay for all these things, they even gave Tamras wedding it’s own special.  (Sorry if this has been addressed above, I’m busier than I thought I’d be in lockdown and haven’t read all comments yet).  Also, in every wedding I have ever thrown, been to, or heard or, the guests pay for their own hotel rooms.  So even if Bravo didn’t pay, Jax waking them up so he didn’t have to pay for late checkout was very confusing to me.

Apparently not. Back in the day, Scheana hustled her ass off to get everything as sponsored and donated as she could for her wedding and it seems Jax and Brittany did the same (the Hooters after party, the vodka that Jax "brought", probably a discount on Brittany's dress because of the whole trying on scene at the boutique earlier in the season, etc.). Which makes Jax's coke-fueled rage over the cash bar so hilarious - my dude, you did arrange for a cash bar, that isn't something a wedding venue does by accident, and the whole vodka thing was most likely for airtime. And also, you only had vodka. What about the rum or beer drinkers? Guess they're shit outta luck. 

I think the wedding cost $100k. But there's no way that Jax and Brittany spent $100k. Jax and the truth have never been really good friends. 

Also can I just take a moment to point out: we're only half-way through this shit show of a season? These have been the longest 11 episodes ever. 

[hoodooznoodooz]

In a talking head it looks like Dayna-not-Stassi’s-mom is wearing a necklace with two chains that loop under each breast.

[Petunia13]

On 3/18/2020 at 10:16 AM, SarahPrtr said:

He was in an episode of Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica.  Yes, I did watch it back then, my husband and I didn't have cable yet, so we watched whatever was on regional tv!

Newlyweds was an MTV show. MTV is....cable. 🤔

[SarahPrtr]

6 hours ago, Petunia13 said:

Newlyweds was an MTV show. MTV is....cable. 🤔

I know, but they played it on regular channel after the first season aired in the US.

[Ubiquitous]

On ‎3‎/‎18‎/‎2020 at 5:14 PM, biakbiak said:

In theory I kind of get what she is saying. One is a place you go all the time last minute, casual hang out vs a restaurant that is an expensive date spot. However, I don’t think Jones the Italian restaurant really qualifies as the later and also she drew a bunch of conclusions about him giving her a T-shirt that he didn’t pay for so her thought process is all over the place.

I think she needs to spend less time listening to gossip from her coworkers or least let Max try to explain himself.

[biakbiak]

2 minutes ago, Ubiquitous said:

I think she needs to spend less time listening to gossip from her coworkers or least let Max try to explain himself.

Eh, Max is clearly a slimy racist opportunistic asshat so she probably shouldn’t.

Edited March 25, 2020 by biakbiak

[Vivigirl10]

Eh - I'm with the few who thought the pre-wedding and wedding festivities looked like fun with them all staying in the castle.  These bums are extroverts who like to have people around all the time.  That's certainly something I couldn't do, but I bet they had a good time being together.

Brittney's wedding dress was an absolute horror and not flattering to her body type.  That being said, her bridesmaid dresses and flowers were gorgeous.  Not what I would expect her to pick (no pink????).

I'm sorry but Rand is kind of endearing.  He seems like kind of a geek and dork - in a sweet way.  Not what I expected?  

Jax seems like he got married only to "be the kind of man his Dad was" or the "kind of man his Dad would be proud of".  That's nice and all, but I don't think it's a sentiment that will hold him to being a faithful and kind husband for the rest of his life.  You do it for your wife, not for your Dad.  

But I honestly don't feel bad for Brittney because let's be honest, Jax hasn't hidden who he really is.  She willingly signed up for this.  Hope the big wedding is enough to carry her through the inevitable pain.  

Are her Dad and frosty lips still married?

[HunterHunted]

On 3/25/2020 at 11:47 AM, Kiki620 said:

Are her Dad and frosty lips still married?

Oh god no! Frosty lips is working on her 4th or 5th husband.

[xtwheeler]

On 3/18/2020 at 7:14 AM, TakeAPinotGrigio said:

And can Katie just admit now that she didn't want to be married as much as she wanted to be a bride?  Does anyone know the laws in CA?  Are they common law yet or could they walk away without divorcing?  They'd still have to legally divide their stuff but it's easier w/o the marriage, so well played Schwartz. 

 

California does not recognize common law marriage. Cohabitation is just shacking up in these parts!

[chenoa333]

On 3/23/2020 at 7:56 PM, hoodooznoodooz said:

In a talking head it looks like Dayna-not-Stassi’s-mom is wearing a necklace with two chains that loop under each breast.

I'm pretty sure I saw Brittany wearing a dress exactly like that in her talking head, on an earlier season.

I liked it on Brittany but she has the boobs to make the chain thing look better. Yes, I have tacky taste...so what.

Edited March 28, 2020 by chenoa333

[LibertarianSlut]

Watching this episode again, I can’t help but observe three things:

1. Not only did Ken bring one of those little Giggy dogs to the wedding, but he lets it rest its front paws on the table at the reception.  Klassy
2. In addition to Brittney and Jax, everything that is wrong with the world is epitomized in Lance Bass, and he just might be worse, because I recognized it in him right away, whereas it took me a few years to realize Brittney’s awful
3. My favorite part—the part where Jax said he shared “a lot of the same similarities” (as opposed to “different similarities”) with someone—didn’t make the cut when they edited It down to 60 minutes 😩

[2dogmom]

so, since Katie wasn't legally married to Schwartz, does that mean she has no claim on his small share of TomTom?  maybe he is the smart one.

[Chalby]

Goodness - these characters are so irrelevant yet thirsty enough to work at SURS in hopes of getting exposure. Just a sad group heading towards middle age. Only Dayna seems remotely interesting because she doesn't care about any of their reactions. (And note how Katie and Ariana, etc. are clamouring to include Dayna in their outings because they know, Lisa will pander to her.) Randall and Lala are embarrassing. Lala's attempts to appear as a sober-thug just make her passé, and Randall is trying to recapture something he lost when he was 21. Poor guy... 

[Chalby]

On 3/31/2020 at 6:06 PM, LibertarianSlut said:

where Jax said he shared “a lot of the same similarities” (as opposed to “different similarities”) with someone—didn’t make the cut when they edited It down to 60 minutes 😩

That's why Jax finally chose Brittney as his bride. He actually found a wife as thick as he is... in fact, she's thicker!! He can even feel semi-smart compared to her. Jax's and Brittney's ignorance of any social behaviours that would be deemed "acceptable" still surprises me. How old does one have to be before the 'penny drops'?

[Chalby]

On 3/23/2020 at 8:11 AM, Rbonnie said:

I know right, but I’m confused about this, didn’t Bravo pay for the wedding?  

I was so annoyed at Jax's continuing tacky behaviour when he was stomping around, complaining to anyone who would listen that he spent 100 grand on this f'ing wedding. Then I learned much of the stuff was gifted for promo, and worst of all... we learned that the wedding was split exactly 50/50 because Jax is so cheap and miserly, he made it clear he was NOT paying for everything. Brittney was appalled that Jax was going to whine to people that $$ was expected, so she made sure to find cash, quickly (thanks to her family). So all his bitching about supporting her the first year, paying for boobs and rent and food, etc., is a crock of sh**! She's been pulling her weight for awhile. (Which makes sense, given he works occasional shifts at SUR and then glowers at the Toms for having an investment.)

[Chalby]

On 3/27/2020 at 9:40 PM, xtwheeler said:

California does not recognize common law marriage. Cohabitation is just shacking up in these parts!

Are you sure? Lee Marvin's '70s court case against Michelle (the gal who 'lived with him') ensured that all men recognized that the women living under their roof as wives were entitled to 50% of monies made while they lived there. It was a landmark case - scaring all California men.

[HunterHunted]

14 hours ago, Chalby said:

Are you sure? Lee Marvin's '70s court case against Michelle (the gal who 'lived with him') ensured that all men recognized that the women living under their roof as wives were entitled to 50% of monies made while they lived there. It was a landmark case - scaring all California men.

Yep. Common law marriage in California was abolished in 1895. Michelle's lawsuit coined and established the concept of "palimony." While it's similar to the idea of common law marriage, palimony is a contract issue and there has to be evidence of an agreement between the unmarried partners. Michelle was actually unsuccessful.